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Ally in Wonderland by Maggie O'Malley This story is dedicated to my big sister Ally. From the moment she came into my life she has did nothing but love, teach, share and hold me when I needed it most. She's lovingly brushed my hair, patiently listened to my endless chattering, forgiven me for more "accidents" than any five year old should have, taken my hand and shown me worlds I never knew existed; and when the scaries chased me into her bed, she held me close and chased them all away. With all my heart, I wish I could give her everything she really needs, and more than she could ever want. I wish so much I could right all the wrongs she's endured in this life. Sadly, five-year-old witches wield crayons far better than magic wands, so all I can do is color this picture for her and hope it brings her joy. To you Ally, the best big sister a little sister could ever ask for. I love you. Maggie Ps. Special thanks to the brave souls who proof my stories. They patiently and persistently go through red pen after red pen desperately trying to translate my crayon scrawls into the English language. Bless you! * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * A young woman stood at the edge of an abyss. She cut quite an image in the rugged setting. Her beautiful auburn locks had been swept into an updo and with the elegant gown that adorned her slender figure, she was a Cinderella more dressed for the ball than a nature hike. Yet it was obvious this princess was in great distress as she trembled from the sobs that wracked her body. Her small hand held onto a rock outcropping that jutted out over the great void. Like her, it seemed to hang precariously on the edge. Bits of dirt and tiny rock tumbled into the darkness below, as feet and toes, bare since they'd shed their glass slippers some time ago, wiggled nervously to find footing. Tears mixed with mascara and makeup fell from her cheeks as she gazed downward; like the dirt and rocks at her feet, they too disappeared into the black below. Ally was no stranger to this place. It had been her sanctuary since the day the "little rock hound" had stumbled upon it searching for shiny stones. She had been but a child then, although some would argue that at 18, she was hardly removed from childhood now. Many times she had came to this place. Usually it was to think, to plan, to dream, to allow herself tears she could never cry in the outside world, and quite often to find comfort from her pain in a place she felt brought her closer to the Goddess. Normally she would leave here refreshed, and ready once again to take on a life that seemed to have been stacked against her at birth. This was not the first time she had stood at the edge of the abyss and watched pebbles disappear into the seemingly bottomless void, but it was the first time she was truly prepared to join them. At that moment she was feeling many emotions: frustration, despair, anger, hopelessness, love, regret, but not fear. No, despite the fact she was but inches away from certain death, she held no fear. Death just seemed like a blessed release now. Fear was for the living. Her chest heaved as anger ran from her heart to her hand. Slowly her fingers clenched together and the anger became a shaking fist hammering her hip. She had every right to be angry, and many targets for her anger. Few would begrudge her cursing the Goddess for giving her such a tremendous cross to bear and denying her many of the things her sister's would be given as a birthright. The anger pounding at her side could easily be directed toward parents that weren't fit to have children. Her mother was a heartless woman, who had birthed her child and then deserted it. Her father was a bitter man who blamed Ally for his wife's departure, and as a result, took out those frustrations in mental and physical abuse on his own child. Growing up, she had been chastised, teased, and tortured by the other children who sensed she was different, and then set out to punish her for it. Yes, she could justly throw stones at the world and the heavens, but as she stood on the brink of self-destruction, it was herself she was angrily sorting out. The sobs eventually downgraded to a soft cry and the words flowed to match the tears. "What were you thinking? How could you have been so bloody stupid? Did you really think you could get away with it? You know you can't love him. You can't love ANYONE and you sure as hell can't let ANYONE love you, least of all Andy." Her features softened as she spoke his name. It hung on her lips like a slow kiss that left her breathless and wanting more. "Andy... my sweet, beautiful Andy... I can't love you... but oh Goddess I do, and I have from the moment I laid eyes on you." Ally's voice trailed off as her mind drifted back to the night when it all began. She was center stage again, and thunderous applause filled the theatre. The play had been a smashing success that night and Ally had performed her role as the young transsexual perfectly. Of course, how could she not? You might say it was a role that she'd spent her entire life preparing for. Yes, as incredible as it may seem, the vision of loveliness graciously accepting the audience approval was genetically a male. At a slender but shapely 5'6, the auburn-haired beauty had the body of a teen goddess and the voice of a songbird. Save for one physical blemish, the offensive male appendage now tucked neatly away, Ally appeared to be the same as any other lovely young woman. On the inside, there was no such blemish to separate her from her genetic sisters. Her mind, her heart, her soul, her wants and dreams mirrored those of most any young girl, and like any young girl she dreamed of the day her handsome prince, her soul mate, would come for her. She had no idea where, when or even if she would find him. She feared that perhaps the same curse that would deny her the feeling of carrying a child within her, might also deny her the feeling of being held in the arms of her true love. Her wondering and her fears would both be put to rest that night as from the shadows off stage; a young man stepped into view. When Ally saw him, she knew this was the one, her handsome prince, her eternal soul mate, and his name was Andy. The 6'5, blond haired, broad shouldered Yank swept Ally away the first time he locked his baby blues on her. She stood utterly breathless as he walked on stage in accordance with tradition to present her with a rose for her inspiring performance, but there was no play acting by either of them when he pulled her into his arms and kissed her passionately. Their scene upstaged the magic that had been created there earlier that night, and brought rave reviews from those still in attendance. Ally had never recovered from that kiss, and never really wanted to. She had nearly needed to be dragged off stage by her fellow performers, as she was unable to leave Andy of her own accord. While the others in the dressing room were buzzing about the night's performance, Ally sat at her makeup mirror, staring intently at the rose, still lost in the kiss and in the man who had given her both. Once she finally emerged, she found her handsome prince leaning by her door, waiting for her with a smile. Her eyes met his and he offered his arm. She returned his smile and took it willingly. From the theater they walked and chatted for hours, sharing coffee and life stories. The air off the water made for a cool night, but Ally never took chill as Andy's arm pulled her close and she snuggled warm against him. It was nearly dawn before he left Ally with a last kiss. She wouldn't let him walk her to the door and after hearing about her father, he understood why, but he promised to be there the next night with a rose and a kiss. Ally promised to be waiting, and both were as good as their word for the run of the show. The show finally ended its run, but their fairy tale production was just beginning, and for the next few months they were nearly inseparable. Anyone seeing the two of them walking hand in hand past the discos, sipping coffees at a club, or snuggled together in the park, would think them just to be any young couple in love. And in every way that truly defines love, they shared it. Ally's days were filled with the anticipation of seeing Andy, her evenings were spent trying to fill herself with him, and then, when night threatened to chase the dawn away, she went to her bed alone and dreamed he joined her there. When she woke, she wanted to ring him immediately, just to be sure he was a dream come true and not just a dream. He was just too good to be true. Young, handsome, VERY handsome, a genuine California beach boy! He was gentle, funny, and rather well to do. From what Andy had told Ally, his parents had moved from San Francisco several years ago to oversee the operation of their European holdings. Andy for the most part, downplayed his wealth and social standing. To Ally it didn't matter whether or not he had two schillings to rub together. The love they shared was riches beyond wealth. What truly amazed Ally the most about Andy was how loving he was, loving of HER! He was a young man who could have any girl in England fall at his feet, and yet with a world of women to choose from, he'd picked a poor Devonshire Dumpling in need of a plumbing refit. Andy could see the disbelief in her eyes each night he met her, so he would greet her with a kiss that left no doubt in Ally's soul he wanted her, all of her, just as much as she wanted him. His love for her buoyed her own confidence in being a woman and helped her deal with the abuse her father routinely laid on her, not to mention what she took from the boys who liked to play, "Catch and Beat the Poof" as she tried to survive the daily back and forth from college. For months she had been walking on clouds, but then it all threatened to come crashing down around her heels as Andy finally popped the question. Marriage? No, but nearly as scary for Ally. Andy asked her to meet his parents. He'd been hinting about it for some time but hadn't pushed Ally as he could sense her fear. He'd told her he wouldn't pressure her, but it was obvious his parents were beginning to pressure him. Naturally they were becoming quite curious about this mysterious young that girl had stolen their son's heart. They literally demanded to meet her. They couldn't be put off much longer, and in all honestly Andy was eager for them to see the girl who owned his heart. Andy had been searching for a perfect opportunity to present his love and he was sure he had found it. His parents were hosting one of those posh garden party affairs. There would be a lot of people there, but Ally was used to performing in front of large crowds. Andy thought it would be far better for her to make a brief appearance with him among the many guests, than for the four of them to spend an entire evening staring uneasily at each other. He also couldn't imagine a better entrance for Ally than to be in fancy dress, on his arm, and outshining the beauty of his mother's prize roses. He was sure her physical beauty would mesmerize all in attendance and that with her warmth, charm, intelligence and the rest of her inner beauty, would capture his parent's hearts as she had his own. He was sure that having gained their initial approval, they would learn to understand and accept the rest given time. Andy was confident, Ally was less so, and had tried to protest but those blue eyes, that smile, and his promise that he would never leave her side, had her laughing and saying yes by the nights end. The next morning she went straight away to see her best friend Elsa. Elsa was "gender-challenged" just as Ally. The birth defect they shared had made them kindred spirits. The deep friendship they shared since primary school made them like sisters. When Ally told Elsa the news, both girls shed happy tears and then quickly dried them as a shopping trip was clearly in order. With Elsa at her side, Ally spent most of the day browsing through thrift stores for a second hand gown, occasionally having a weak moment and muttering, "How on earth did I let him talk me into this? I must be out of my mind!" Elsa hugged her best friend and laughed as she teased her, "You'll get no argument from me on that one love. I've always thought you a bit daft anyway, but if you're going to go crazy, it might as well be that you're in love and with someone like your Andy. Goddess, he's brilliant!" Ally blushed, giggled, and then prodded her friend to keep looking through the racks in hopes of finding the perfect gown, for the not quite perfect princess. The party was three weeks away, yet with saving, shopping, borrowing and seamstress work Ally knew it was still going to be cutting it close. Andy had offered to buy her a gown, but her pride would have none of it. This was something she had to do for herself and for Andy. Fortunately for Ally, Elsa not only helped her find the gown and do the seamstress work, she also let Ally spend the night at her flat, so she could help her with final preparations, and most importantly so Andy could come call for her there. Ally couldn't very well have Andy call for her at her house. Not that her father would really notice his "son" descending the stairs in a ball gown. He rarely paid any attention to Ally save for slinging his fists or his bitter verbal abuse at her. No, it was because she didn't want Andy exposed to it should her father decide to start a row. Ally knew Andy wouldn't stand for that, and like the handsome prince he was, he would defend her honor. So, rather than miss the party because she had to either bury her father, or wait for Andy to get out of jail, she gladly accepted Elsa's gracious offer. With Elsa's help her gown was ready by the day of the party. Finally, a full two hours before Andy was to arrive, she was as ready as she would ever be. Ally had changed her hairstyle a half dozen times before finally settling on a more formal updo to compliment the gown and occasion. The 'Elsa/Ally original' gown was form-fitting and featured curves no boy's body was ever meant to have. Along with her hair and makeup, it made her look every bit a confident twenty and less like the frightened teen she truly was. Ally had performed on stage a number of times and before some fair- sized crowds, but this command performance had her shaking as no stage fright she'd ever known. There was far more at stake then favorable reviews in the school paper. Purely and simply, her future with Andy was at stake. She knew this had to go well. She couldn't live with failure because it would mean living without Andy. She had paced the floor, nearly wearing out the thinning carpet in Elsa's flat when the buzzer went off, alerting her to Andy's presence. Elsa played mother hen, and shooed her sister off to the bedroom before greeting Andy. Ally stood at the door listening to Elsa and Andy exchanging pleasantries as she uttered a quick prayer for the Goddess's intervention in making this fairy tale come true. When Elsa knocked and opened it slowly, Ally stepped out, but could not look up to meet Andy's eyes at first. This was the best she could be and she was afraid it still wasn't enough. Andy quickly crossed the distance between them. Taking one of her hands in his, he used his other to gently raise her chin and lift her gaze to meet his. Ally's frightened eyes were met with sparkling blue ones filled with overwhelming love, compassion, and deep respect for the woman who held his heart. A reassuring smile crept across his face and he squeezed her hand gently. Ally's lip quivered and she wanted to say something, anything, but she couldn't. All she could do was look up at this smartly dressed, gentle and loving prince and think one thought. "Oh Goddess, he is the most beautiful man in the whole world, and he wants me. He wants me!" Andy's admiring words broke the silence, "Oh Ally, I think...no, I am sure...you are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. I love you so." Somehow Ally managed to squeak out an, "I love you too," before tears threatened to undo Elsa's makeup magic. Andy, seeing tears welling in his love's eyes, knew nothing else to do but use his own magic to quell them and pulled the princess into his arms for a kiss. Ally found herself literally floating on air, as both her feet were nearly a foot off the ground, and her toes were curling beneath her fancy slippers. Reluctantly, he set her down, pleased to see her beautiful smile once again gracing her full lips. Then he presented her with a corsage and offered her his arm. She took it greedily and held on to it tightly. Elsa ran up and gave Ally a quick hug, then fixed the lipstick that had been slightly damaged by the prince. The warm glow on Ally's face told Elsa that the kiss had been well worth the smudge. She teased "Cinderella" that the magic would end at midnight after which she would turn back into an English pumpkin. Andy laughed as Ally stuck her tongue out at Elsa in a very un- princess-like fashion before Andy ushered his little pumpkin out the door and into his car. Elsa didn't know at the time just how soon midnight would come for Cinderella, or how Ally's fate could be far worse than her carriage being turned back into a pumpkin or losing a glass slipper. Andy's parents had considerable wealth, but in a land known for its tradition and breeding, money alone is not admittance to high society. Andy's parents had overcome their biggest handicap. They were dreaded Yanks, Californians, no less, but they had fit in well to the social circles and were considered adopted Brits by most all those who knew them. Ally's eyes went wide as Andy downshifted his car when they passed through the imposing black iron gates to his parent's estate. As the mansion came into view, Ally knew she was way out of her element. While she had been lead actress in a school play, this ... this was the starring role in a Broadway production. Her fear and doubts became stronger as they pulled up and a smartly dressed man waited to park Andy's car for him. Andy threw him the keys as he went round to Ally's side, opened the door and took her gloved hand. He gently lifted her out and she took her place by his side. Seeing and sensing her heart pounding in her chest, he whispered softly in ear, "It's going to be alright, love. I promise, I won't leave your side." Ally smiled weakly and squeezed his arm a bit tighter. His words and his closeness calmed her a bit. Taking a deep breath she prepared herself for her audience with the "King and Queen". Andy led her past the house to the impressive gardens behind it. The scene was breathtaking. Flowers, trees, sculptured hedges and a beautiful fountain were the setting for this afternoon's event. Ally's pulse quickened as she saw a large contingent was already in attendance, and that she was only moments away from mingling with some of Britain's bluest blood, not to mention Andy's parents. She was Audrey Hepburn playing a transgender Eliza Doolittle on the arm of a young and dashing San Francisco style Sir Henry Higgins. Andy pulled her closer, winked and whispered, "Shall we?" It was more of an announcement than a request as he quickly ushered his love into the breach. Ally passed through the crowd with a frozen smile on her face, and a death grip on Andy's arm as she briefly chatted with dukes, duchesses, and some of England's most influential people. She half expected the Queen Mum to make an appearance before it was all over. At least she did meet one other guest there who looked as frightened and lost as she did, A young blonde girl who appeared to be about Ally's age chatted her up over her dress and contemporary music. She even winked at Ally and whispered in her ear that Andy was a real keeper and that they made a lovely couple. Ally took an immediate liking to her new friend, but was whisked away by Andy, just barely getting to say goodbye. It took Andy about thirty minutes to work himself and Ally through the crowd and over to his parents, or as Ally thought of them, "the Royal Family". As soon as Ally laid eyes on Andy's father, it was obvious the apple hadn't fallen far from the tree. He was heavier and older but still a tall and handsome king. He grinned at Andy, and Ally saw where her love had gotten that impossibly charming smile. Andy's mother was at her husband's side like any good queen, and was chatting with another woman when Andy's father directed her attention toward their son and the girl who had to be the mysterious Ally. Andy's mother was slender and about Ally's height. Her coloring still carried remnants of being a California sun goddess, as did her blonde hair. When she turned to meet the approaching pair, Ally found Andy's blue eyes in her. They were slightly more rounded and framed in longer lashes, but were still that unbelievably beautiful blue. Ally's gloved hand trembled slightly as she extended it to meet Andy's parents. Andy's father smiled at her and took it gently. Like his son, he had the magic touch and immediately her hand went still. She then turned to the queen and smiled nervously at her. Andy's mother smiled back warmly and then pleasantly surprised Ally by very unceremoniously hugging her tightly and whispering into her ear. "Relax Allyson, this is not the Spanish Inquisition, dear. We just want to meet you." Ally pulled back with a much-relieved smile on her face and Andy's mother nodded her approval. The foursome chatted a bit, with both of Andy's parents commenting on Ally's lovely gown, which she accepted graciously. The conversation was light and somewhat easy for Ally. Neither parent pushed her for personal details and for that she was grateful, but she did try to give them something, picking and choosing selective truths, rather than telling any out and out lies. Andy's mother could see the young girl was still nervous and a bit overwhelmed and sought to calm her as best she could. "Andy?" she asked. "Have you given Allyson a tour of the house and grounds?" Andy shook his head, and his mother smiled. Motioning Ally over to her side, she smiled and whispered. "If you can just bear with us until this 'Dog and Pony show' is over, I'd love to take you on a tour of the house and grounds. It'll give us a chance to talk, and you look like you need to talk, dear. So please... don't let Andy whisk you away until after all the stuffed shirts leave, which should be shortly after they've exhausted our champagne and caviar." Ally giggled as she pulled back from the older woman. She really liked her. She had Andy's gentle demeanor and natural charm. Her lighthearted humor brought a smile to Ally's lips and the young girl couldn't help but feel drawn to her. Yet her invitation for a tour and a talk had Ally fighting to keep herself from trembling. Once alone, the protective mother could rip her to pieces, asking Ally questions she didn't have honest answers for and then size her up as gold- digging tart, whose love for her son was only as large as the boy's inheritance. Even worse, it could very well be she'd unmask the faux princess at first sight and would call the local constable to have her carted away for the various laws she must be breaking. Yet, she couldn't fear this woman or her invitation. She instinctively knew she could trust her, maybe even enough to trust her with the ultimate truth. She would just have to wait and see how it all unfolded. Ally nodded and offered softly. "I would love to ma'am." Andy's mother smiled lovingly, and pulled Ally back to her for one last bit of girl talk, "Now, I suggest you get Andy over to the buffet table, or better yet, onto the dance floor, because if you stay here much longer my husband is going to ask you to dance. Don't get me wrong, he's a wonderful man, but Fred Astaire he's not, and I have the aching toes to prove it." Ally and Andy's mother giggled, which earned her puzzled looks from Andy and his father. Shrugging their shoulders, they attributed it to girl talk, and discretion being the better part of valor, wisely decided to not ask what they probably didn't want to know about. Andy's mother then shooed the two kids off toward the buffet table, tempting Ally to at the very least try the desserts. She promised they were positively decadent. Ally nodded and then with Andy's gently arm directing her, was spirited away from the king and queen. Andy nuzzled her neck as he drank in the heady aroma of her perfumed hair. Gently he whispered, "Ally you were super! I could see how much Mom liked you, and Dad even commented on how nice you were. See my love, we're almost home." Ally smiled and sighed. "Maybe, Andy, but it's not midnight yet." Andy squeezed her tightly as he led her over to the buffet tables, which were plentifully covered with delicacies from around the world. But Ally's stomach balked at the thought of food. However, Andy was insistent she at least try something, and finally talked her into a tiny slice of heaven called Death by Chocolate, Mass Extinction. Ally knew immediately that this had to be the decadence that Andy's mother had spoken of. She made a mental note to ask her about that recipe and then refused anything else save for a sip of tea. The band was playing a soft tune. It was a bit old style for a pair of teenagers, but nonetheless, alluring. Andy could see the want in his love's eyes and taking her hand her bowed gallantly before her and asked for this dance. Ally blushed and giggled, and then in the spirit of moment, curtsied gracefully and extended her hand toward Andy adding, "I would be honored, my lord." Those blue eyes of his smiled at her and she felt herself melting into his arms even before they'd stepped onto the dance floor. Sadly, this dance wasn't to be theirs, as Andy's father came up and laid a hand on his son's shoulder. Smiling at Ally he begged forgiveness for this intrusion, "Ally please forgive me for interrupting, but if you will allow me, I need to steal Andy away from you for a moment. I promise I will have him back to you shortly." Ally really didn't want Andy to leave her, and he could see that in her eyes. He offered to stay, remembering his promise to her, but she quickly sent him off with his father, insisting she would be fine. Andy gave her a light peck on the cheek and then disappeared into the crowd. Suddenly Ally felt almost naked. Without Andy there to hold her up, she suddenly felt like a boy in a fancy frock, with his willy showing. She felt as though every eye was on her, and in reality most had been, but not for the reason her fear was telling her. She was every bit the beautiful young princess in their eyes, and the attention she was drawing was for her beauty and not exposed boyhood. Had Andy been there he could have reassured her, but when he left, he took her confidence with him and she could feel the anxiety growing. She could also feel the pressure in her bladder begin to grow as well. The ladies room became an immediate necessity and perhaps once there, it could also be a safe haven. She could hide out there, repair any damage to her make up and then return. Perhaps she could even find the young girl she'd met earlier and they could go together. Hopefully, by the time she returned, Andy would be waiting for her at the dance floor and all would be well once again. Feeling a bit more confident she went in search of her friend and the facilities. Realizing whether or not she found her friend, she was definitely going to need to find the ladies room, she decided to ask one of the staff working the party for directions. She tapped on the shoulder of a young gent carrying a tray of champagne, and when he turned, she took a horrid fright. She knew this boy and by the look of surprise, and then the wicked smirk that crept across his face, he recognized her as well. Ally's heart nearly leapt from her chest, and her first instinct was to run. She had good reason to run. This was Tom, the leader of a gang of schoolboys who routinely chased her to and from school. He and the angry lot he ran with didn't much care for a "girly-boy" like Ally, and they'd left her with bruises the few times they'd caught her. Had they caught her at night, they might have left her in an alley for dead. Ally shook as he looked her up and down and sneered wickedly. She could barely believe that Tom would ever work to make an honest pound, let alone get one working such a class affair. She also knew he rarely did anything without the rest of his pack members, so she was relatively sure the other two musketeers were here as well. Perhaps she'd been so caught up in playing princess she hadn't noticed them, but she was noticing now, and noticing the familiar hate held in this boy's eyes. Setting the tray down Tom looked her up and down. "Well, well, well, look what we gots 'ere. Playin' dress up again are you? Tryin' to take some chap for his money 'eh, and what a right nice place to do it, too. I've already nicked three wallets me self." So much for Tom trying to make an honest living, she thought. She knew he had to be up to no good and she wanted no part of it. Ally shook her head and tried to back away, but he grabbed her arm tightly. "No needs to run off "Cinder-Fella." Tom increased the pressure on her arm, making sure Ally wasn't going anywhere and then kept his voice low as he continued, "Listen you sick li'l bugger, you and I got business and this is the way it's gonna go, or so 'elp me I'll yank that bloody frock off you and show the lot of 'em what you're really made of. You understand me 'girly-boy'?" Ally nodded as her eyes searched the crowd, begging to find Andy returning, but her prince was nowhere in sight. Her captor turned up the pressure, nearly bringing Ally to her knees. "Now look...I've got these fat wallets and watches but I can't get 'em out of 'ere. Lucy, you know good ol' Lucy? Well she was gonna be me mule and pack our take out of 'ere, but the silly bitch got scared and ran out on me. I'll deal with 'er later but for now you're gonna take 'er place an 'elp your ol' friend Tom out." Tom was no "ol' friend" and she had no intention of being a part of anything that could hurt Andy or his parents. Finding courage she didn't realize she had until now, she returned his glare and harsh words, "You must be crazy if you think I'm gonna help you. You want to steal, you can bloody well carry it out yourself." The young thief wasn't going to put off by Ally's brave talk. Her defiant attitude only increased the anger within him and he vented back at the young woman. "Now you know I can't do that. Imagine these blokes wantin' to check me to see if I've nicked their bloody silver when I leave. We can't 'ave that now can we? Oh...but they'd not check a fine "lady" like you, so you'll put 'em nice and neat in your 'and bag and meets us after the party. And I knows you'll do just what ol' Tom 'ere says for you to do or so 'elp me I'll show the lot of 'em right here and now just what kind of "lady" you really are. You got's dat LOVE?" Tears welled in Ally's eyes, both from the fear and the excruciating pain she felt as he threatened to break her arm. She couldn't be a party to stealing, but she also knew Tom was cruel enough to start a commotion guaranteed to ruin any chances she had of making a good impression with Andy's parents. She searched the crowd for Andy. "Oh why did he ever leave?" she thought. But her prince was still nowhere in sight. Thankfully, a savior did arrive, as one of the "stuffed shirts" in attendance was thirsty for more champagne and spied the closest waiter. Seeing the tray of chilled bubbly, he pushed in between Ally and Tom, trying to get a glass. When Ally felt the pressure released from her arm, she made her break. Pulling free, she pushed past both the boy and the man and disappeared into the crowd. She couldn't think, and she could barely see as her tears mixed with her mascara and nearly blinded her. She couldn't cry out, for no words would come. All she could do was run, and not look back. Soon, she'd made her way through the crowd, and found herself standing at an entrance to the house. Hoping she might find Andy, she quickly ducked in. The spacious room was empty of people and she passed through it and into a hallway. She listened, hoping to hear Andy's voice but she was surrounded by silence. Seeing a door she pushed it open gently and the soft lavender colors and rounded mirrors told her she'd at least found the ladies' room. Slipping past the door, she leaned against it to close it and then set the lock. Finally, her energy was gone, and she slid to the floor and collapsed in a pile of tears. Now she could think, and she didn't like the thoughts that were coming. There was no telling what that evil boy and his mates would do. Ally had seen and felt their cruelty first hand. They'd have no druthers about exposing her. They might even say she had nicked the wallets and they'd caught her red-handed. Either way, when they caught her, and sooner or later they would, they might just 'do the world a favor' as they would say, and finally kill her. And what about Andy's parents? What would they think of her now? Not only a transsexual, but also a petty thief to boot. How could she face them now? And what about Andy? Yes, Andy loved her, but did he truly realize WHAT he was loving? They'd both been caught up in a fairy tale since the day he'd given her that rose, but it wasn't real, and neither was she. Ally buried her face in her hands and sobbed. Once the tears subsided enough for her to stand, she took hold of the washbasin and pulled herself up. Staring into the mirror she caught quite a sight. Dark mascara mixed with tears ran down her cheeks giving her the ultimate gothic look. Her hair had come partially undone and had fallen in front of her face. She pushed the hair back and shook her head in disgust. She looked a fright. No matter what, she couldn't face anyone like this, and she also wasn't thinking clear enough to make life- changing choices. The best thing she could do for herself, her Andy and his parents was just to leave and go back to Elsa's. Maybe she could sort it all out there. She'd ring Andy later and try to explain it all then. Ally splashed a bit of cool water on her face, took a deep breath and then slid the bolt from the door. Almost immediately it pushed open, and she was knocked back to wall. Three familiar lads forced their way in and a badly shaken Ally stared up at them from the floor. The last one in shut the door behind them, but failed to bolt it. The other two went straight for Ally and picked her up from the floor. Tom sneered and slapped her. One of his henchmen punched her in the stomach and down she went again. Ally rolled up in a ball and sobbed. This brought laughter from all three of the boys and Tom quickly jerked her back up like a life-sized rag doll. He slapped her several more times and then dragged her over to the mirror and shoved her face in front of it. A small trickle of blood ran from her nose and already her lip had begun to swell. "Some woman," he laughed and his minions soon joined him. His eyes narrowed as the hate poured out of him. "You stupid little boy-bitch! You mucked up the whole works. We had to chuck the lot of it, watches, wallets and all. Didn't even have time to lift a single quid out of 'em. You got's any idea of what it took to get us in posing at servers? You're gonna pay for all of it." Ally cowered and closed her eyes, sure she was in for the beating of her life, or maybe her death, but her captor had other ideas. When she didn't fall from the force of the blows she opened her eyes to find him smiling wickedly at her. "Charlie 'ere tells me you been arm and arm with ol' Andy. Never figured him to be queer, but...aye...what can you say? Bloody rich yank's no bedder than you. and I think the whole world ought's to know he's nuttin but a poof. Wonder 'ow much his mum and dad would pays to keeps something like that quiet? Maybe...we oughts to call 'em in and finds out." Ally's eyes went wide. Her own father had beaten her before, and worse. She was prepared to take whatever abuse they could dish out, but she'd rather die than have Andy or his parents hurt on her behalf. Yes, she and Andy had planned to tell his parents, but not now and not like this. They'd be crushed and there was no telling how bad it would go for Andy. Her eyes flashed with anger. "Damn you, do what you want with me, but you leave my Andy and his family alone!" Tom laughed and mocked her, "My Andy is it? Now ain't dat touchin'. Fancy yourself as a real girl do ya? Gonna marry 'em are you? Your ol' man gonna give you away is he? Like to see you find a church that'd bless the likes of you. And what about kids? Figurin' on be a mum, and givin' Andy some fine strappin' sons are ya? Now that'd be a right nice trick with what you got 'tween your legs." Thrusting his hand forward to drive home his point he grabbed Ally by the crotch. Ally, now pushed beyond the breaking point, slapped him hard across the face and in doing so, her nails grooved several deep scratches along his cheek. The young man let her go and reached up to feel his stinging jaw. When he pulled his hand back he was met with blood, his blood. This enraged the beast and he came toward Ally. Reaching in his back pocket he pulled out a blade and snapped it open. "Stupid bitch. You cut me! Oh now you're gonna bleed and I knows just where to cuts!" His eyes drifted down to her crotch and Ally backed up to the wall as he took another step closer. "I'm gonna 'elp you out. You wanna be a girl. Then you won't be needin' this." The other two quickly flanked their leader as he held the knife, preparing to send Ally out of this world minus a piece of flesh she never should have had when she entered. Ally braced herself against the wall and closed her eyes, wondering if the next time she opened them, would she finally be face to face with the Goddess. Fortunately for Ally her meeting with the Goddess was cancelled by the shouts of a woman entering the bathroom. "What's going on in here?" she fired. "You leave that girl alone! Go on...get out of here or I'll call the police!" Police was a dirty six-letter word to these boys, and they wanted none of that. Spitting out, "This isn't over, bitch," Tom and the two others ran past the woman and out the door. Ally staggered toward the sink, relieved, but in shock. Ally's timely savior came up to her and noting the girls condition immediately told her sit down while she went to fetch help. Ally waved off the woman's kind offer of assistance saying thank you, but she would be fine; however, it was obvious she was anything but that. The older woman obviously recognizing this poor beaten girl as the same vision of loveliness she'd seen earlier on the arm of the hosts' handsome son, offered her assistance once again. "Love, you're all in. Let me go get Andy or his parents. You're Andy's fianc?e aren't you?" As much as she wanted Andy to hold her and make all this go away, she knew he couldn't, and she also knew she couldn't face him, not now, maybe not ever. Pushing past the woman, she bolted from the ladies room without a word and fled through the house, exiting out a side door. Once outside, she ran across the grounds and then disappeared into the woods adjacent. She wandered aimlessly for a while, finally collapsing near the trunk of a large tree. Curling up into a ball, she rocked and sobbed until she was spent. Thirty minutes went by before she struggled to her feet. She was torn. Part of her wanted to go back and find Andy, or stay there until he came for her, while the other part wanted to run away and spare Andy the misery of a life with someone like her. She knew she loved him, that wasn't the issue. The issue was, did that love give her the right to ruin his life? She didn't know what to do, but she couldn't stay, and she couldn't go back. She desperately needed to think and keep moving. She started walking once again, hoping sooner or later the woods would give way to a road. The woods finally did open to a road. At first it was unfamiliar to her, but as she began walking it a ways, she realized she knew it well after all. Somehow she must have gone much further than she dreamed possible, for this road led by her old sanctuary. She traveled but a few hundred feet further, and there, nearly hidden by the thick foliage was the old familiar path that would lead her to the abyss. Needing to talk to the Goddess perhaps more than any other time in her young life, Ally pushed back a branch and disappeared into the thicket. She knew she would find her answer at the abyss. Twenty minutes later she'd arrived at the abyss. Now, for the last hour she had been standing at its edge, contemplating her life, past, present and hopes for the future. Piece by piece she had taken it all apart. She had no family to speak of, at least in the truest sense of the word. She might as well have never been born. She didn't exist at all to her mother, and she existed only as object of abuse for her father. She did have a few friends, but most were like Elsa and herself, souls cruelly imprisoned in the wrong body. When it came right down to it, they were a hopeless lot who hid and sneaked about, trying to blend into the gay community, and trying to keep from getting their brains bashed in by others like Tom who felt it was their duty to rid the earth of "sick bastards" like them. The highlights of her life had been playing female roles at the school theater, and the glow she felt every time a shopkeeper called her Miss. She was 18 and playing make believe girl, but what would she do for an encore? More importantly what did she really have to look forward to when the magic was gone and she couldn't pass anymore? Who would want her? Who would care if she lived? Who would care if she died? A single name came to her like the charging white knight it belonged to, "Andy". Yes, Andy wanted her. Andy would care. Andy was the one person on this earth who truly loved her, but was she woman enough to love him back? Her tears took control again and another round of sobs shook her body. Finally they subsided and she turned her face toward the heavens. "Alright damn it, yes....yes...oh Goddess I do love him. When he holds me, and smiles at me I see the love I feel for him come back to me, and I am so full. Suddenly my world's not wrong anymore, because in his eyes I'm not wrong, and I've never felt so alive. Oh Goddess, he tells me I'm beautiful and he makes me believe it. He fills today with joy and gives me hope for tomorrows I never dreamed possible before. I know I've found my soul mate. He's everything to me, but...but...sometimes everything just isn't enough is it?" Her knees threatened to buckle from sheer exhaustion. She gasped another breath and began again. "Oh Goddess, he gives me so much, but...but...I will never be able to give him what he deserves and I must have been daft to think I ever could. You know he took my heart the day he took my hand and gave me that rose. He kissed me and I awoke from a life long slumber to discover I was more woman than I dreamed possible, and for a while I believed that was enough. I believed in the handsome prince, the beautiful princess and happily ever afters, but real life isn't a fairy tale is it Goddess? Sooner or later it destroys fairy tales like Andy and I have lived. It's like a relentless dragon that no brave knight can slay. It's a clock that rang midnight on this Cinderella, and now she is nothing more than a stupid bloke in a princess frock." Ally shook her head and sighed, "Goddess, Tom and his lot are cruel bastards. I know that, but...but he was right about one thing. I'll never be a REAL woman for Andy, no matter what I feel like inside. No matter how much I love him. No matter how much he loves me. It won't be REAL because I'M NOT REAL and sooner or later he's going to realize that. Sooner or later he's going to tire of telling half-truths and outright lies about his 'girlfriend'. Sooner or later he's going to want a woman he can meet at the altar and call 'wife'. Someday he's going to want the children I can never give him and he's going to hate me for that. Oh Goddess I cannot live to face that day. I cannot!" Frustration and despair threatened to consume her. Her sanity, like her slender form, teetered on the edge of a dark abyss. She desperately needed answers to questions that defined her very existence. "Why have you done this to me Goddess? Why would you put this girl's heart in such a prison? What could I possibly learn from being trapped this way? The meaning of pain, frustration, self-hate, anger, and hopelessness? They are lessons learned, trust me. I get a refresher course every morning when I stare at my naked body. If you're wanting me to know what it's like to feel unloved and unwanted, I am reminded of it every time I look into my father's eyes. If you want me to know what it's like to feel disgust, hatred, and pity, you need not worry, I've seen it many times in the eyes of those who pass me on the street. If my lesson is to know envy, want and pain unimaginable, I know them well too, for they are pounded into me every time I see little girls playing in the park, or a beautiful young woman, pregnant with child, walking hand in hand with her love. Please Goddess, please, teach me no more. I have learned enough!" The young woman dropped her head to her chest and watched more tears disappear into the darkened void. The darkness seemed to call to her. It offered a coolness to quench her raging fever. It offered sleep to a soul too weary. It offered a blessed release from this life's imprisonment. Knowing she had the power to end "school" with a single step forward, momentarily calmed the young woman and again she sought out the Goddess. "Goddess I'll accept all that you have taught me as somehow necessary, even if I don't understand why, but Goddess why bring me Andy? Why tempt us both with what you know we can't have? Why let us love each other when you know it can never be? There's no lesson to be learned in that, only cruelty. Oh Goddess, do with me what you will, but I refuse to ruin Andy's life, and that's exactly what I'll do if I stay with him. He deserves a woman, a complete woman who can return his love in every way. Goddess, you are a woman. Surely you understand why I love him, and yet why I have no choice but to let him go. If he has me, he will lose everything. I...I can't let him do that. The price for our love is too high. " "But what to do now?" she thought. She knew she could never return to Andy. She couldn't go back home. It was only a matter of time before either her father or some 'Tom' beat her until they finally killed her. She could stay with Elsa for a bit, but she'd only return to Andy if she did. If she was anywhere on this earth, sooner or later she would return to Andy, and she couldn't let that happen. It was all too clear now. She couldn't have a life with Andy, and there was no life for her without him. In her heart, she knew there was only one thing left she could do. She leaned over a bit further. Just another inch or two and she would disappear like the pebbles that had left before her. Making her farewell speech to the Goddess, Ally begged forgiveness, "Oh Goddess I know by taking this life before its time, I forfeit not only it, but the all the others to come. I am prepared to accept that, but please Goddess, please, all those souls who were destined to be my future children, please don't let them die with me. Please let them have life through another. Please take care of my babies." Ally wiped the tears from her eyes, as she wanted to at least meet death with more courage than she'd lived this life. Taking what was sure was her last breath, she let go of the rock and leaned toward the abyss. She admitted her defeat as she prepared to meet the Goddess, "Forgive me Goddess, I lost my courage, I lost the battle, I lost myself." She leaned forward to embrace the dark abyss, and suddenly a voice called to her. She almost expected to hear an angry Goddess's voice from the void, scolding her child for coming home before she was called, but this voice was soft, sweet, and childlike, and strangely coming from behind her. She was still inching toward her death when she turned her head to find the voice had a smile, and a beautiful little girl attached to it. "Hi! What's ya lookins ats?" the little one asked innocently as she wiggled fingers at Ally. Ally, torn between the depths of her despair and the shock of finding she now had audience, scrambled to try and keep her footing, motioned for the child to stay back. Her distraught mind was slow to get words to her mouth and it took a few more seconds to verbalize a warning. The curious child didn't give her those few precious seconds as she quickly covered the distance between her and Ally and then leaned over to see what the abyss held. As a result, the dark void almost took them both. The child was a featherweight, but even her few pounds were enough to make the treacherous footing give way. The little ones' eyes went wide and she screamed as she felt the ground disappear beneath her. Ally, finally awake from her daze, grabbed the falling child with one arm and slid down to her knees. She frantically clawed at the ground, desperately searching for something to latch onto as she was slowly slipping down toward the abyss. By the grace of the Goddess, she found an exposed tree root, and grabbed it tightly. Praying to the Goddess for strength, she began pulling herself and the child back over the edge. Once her upper body was back on top, she pushed the child up and over to safety and then finished the climb herself. Once on her feet again, Ally wanted to drop back down and thank the Goddess for her intervention. She also had a few questions for this mysterious little girl who had appeared out of nowhere and nearly joined her in the afterlife. She was going to start with something simple like, what is your name? But when she saw the child trembling after her brush with death, she knew questions could wait. Ally scooped her up and held her tightly. Carrying her over to the base of the tree that had loaned the life saving root, she rocked the child until the little one started to calm. Seeing dirt had fouled and tangled the child's pretty long blonde hair, Ally reached over to the purse she'd left at the base of the tree, and pulled out a brush. Gently and lovingly she began working out the tangles and restoring the child's locks to their luster. The brushing seemed to have a very calming affect on the child, as she began purring like a cat being groomed. By the time Ally had finished, the child was smiling up at her again with sparkling true blue eyes that of course, reminded her of Andy. The little girl hugged Ally tightly and kissed her on the cheek. "I wikes gettins my hair bwushed. Mummy does its fors me ebery night." Ally smiled back at the adorable imp, "Yes....I can tell you like getting your hair brushed. I heard you purring." The little one nodded and pointed her finger to her chest. "I knows! Mummy saided dat too and dats why her calls me Kitten, but...but...my weal name is Mag...I means Alice! My weal name is Alice!" Ally giggled at the animated girl. Extending her hand forward she offered her own introductions. "Hi Alice." She'd hadn't missed the child's slight stumble at giving her name, but decided to play along at least for now. Alice eased her hand into Ally's and then shook it as the young woman winked at her, "I'm Ally and it's nice to meet you, but you seem awfully young to be out wandering in the woods alone." Alice shook her head, and then held up nine fingers at the young woman. Counting them one by one, she giggled as she pulled the last one back in. "I is dis many years old. I is eights now, but...but...I used to be fives ya know." Ally giggled and then nodded, "Yes, I can see. You are quite the big girl now, but even a big girl can get lost. You're not lost are you Alice?" The young woman's praise made the little one's chest swell proudly and Ally was quick to notice. She was also quick to notice that Alice's physical appearance matched the eight years she claimed to have, but her speech patterns and actions seemed more reminiscent of the five year old she remarked of having once been. Ally didn't really get much chance to dwell on it as her new friend starting chatting again. Pointing at Ally as she spoke, "And...and...I know lones neiders Ally cause I wiff you!" Her finger then drifted over toward the abyss that had almost swallowed both her and Ally up. "And...I no losted cause dats da wabbit hole." Ally's eye went wide as the child's words lost her. "Rabbit hole?" she asked. Alice sighed frustratingly and explained. "Da rabbit hole! Dat's where's da rabbit wented down cause hims was late and den I gots to follows hims down dere for da venture cause I is Alice, Alice in Wonderland!" Ally nodded knowingly. The child was referring to the Lewis Carroll fairy tale, "Alice in Wonderland," about a young girl named Alice who went down the rabbit hole and had a wonderful fun-filled adventure. "Yes Alice, now I understand," Ally added with a smile. Alice smiled back at her and then took a long look at the smiling child before her. This "Alice" certainly did look like she had stepped out of the pages of the timeless classic. Her long blonde hair had been pulled back by a lovely blue bow that matched both her eyes and the darling pinafore she modeled. White stockings and black Mary Janes completed the ensemble for the very convincing fairy tale tot. Obviously, Alice's mother really encouraged her child's imagination, right down to letting her dress the part, but no child five or eight should be roaming around the woods unintended looking for "rabbit holes". Ally opened her arms to Alice, and the child returned to their safety. "Alice," the young woman cooed softly. "That's not a rabbit hole over there. It's a very, very dangerous place. Definitely not a place for a little girl to be playing. How about we go find your mummy, cause I bet she's probably looking for you right now." Alice sighed and shook her head, "Ally, Mummy no wookins for mees. Her knows where's I at. Hers always knows where's I at cause her gots magic, and...and...when I gets big wikes hers I gonna habs magic toos." Ally hugged the imp tightly. She had never had a mummy like her new friend Alice did, but she knew mothers, the kind who loved and cared for their children, and they did have a magic. It was how they always seemed to be able to bring a smile to their child's face and chase away the tears and the scaries. It was how they instinctively knew they were needed long before their child's cries could be heard. It was all the things that only a mother could do and fix. It was "Mummy magic". Ally was so happy Alice had mummy magic in her life, and her heart ached as she knew she would never get the chance to work mummy magic with her own little girl. Ally sniffled back a tear and forced a smile, "Well...maybe we ought to go back and find her anyway. We don't want her to think you wandered off and got lost do we?" Alice shook her head and then pleaded, "But...but...Ally! I tolded you, Mummy knows I is here's. I spossed to be here's cause...cause I no losted. You is!" Ally's eyes grew wide as she pulled back slightly and gave Alice a puzzled stare. "Me? I'm not losted, errr....I mean I'm not lost Alice. Why...why would you think I'm lost?" The child sighed and whined, "I hearded you when you was lookins downs da wabbit hole. You saided you was losted, or dats you losted someting, so I here's to helps you finds it." Ally's turned and stared quietly out over the abyss again, her mind trying to recall her last coherent thoughts before she had nearly leapt to her death. Yes, those had been her last words. Obviously the child had heard her crying, and then wandered over. Ally closed her eyes and said a quick silent prayer to the Goddess, so glad that the child hadn't seen her jump to her death or follow her down the "rabbit hole". Tears ran down her cheeks as she pulled the little one back into her embrace and rocked her tightly, unable to speak. Alice, like the kitten she was nicknamed after, purred softly and enjoyed the closeness. Finally, Ally was able to find her voice again, and she whispered softly into Alice's ear, "Honey, I didn't lose anything down the 'rabbit hole'." Alice pulled back and smiled at her. "I sure gads you didn't Ally cause I tinks it's a long, long ways downs to da boddom of dat hole." Ally wiped her eyes as she giggled. "Yes....yes I think you're quite right, so I don't think we need to go looking down there anymore okay?" Alice nodded enthusiastically and added, "Otay!" Her exclamation point being a kiss on Ally's cheek. Ally smiled big and returned her kiss three-fold. The child giggled and then posed her next serious question, "But Ally if you no losed nuttins down da hole, den is YOU what's losted?" Ally kept the child in her arms as she leaned back against the tree and sighed, collecting her thoughts, and wondering how or even if, she should explain her troubles to the little princess she held. She looked into the child eyes and could see the concern the little one had for her, and it so touched her heart, she had to at least tell her something. Choosing her words carefully she began. "Well Alice, I honestly don't know. Maybe I have lost my way. Goddess knows I sure feel lost." Alice hugged Ally and then smiled at her. "No worries Ally. I helps you no be losted no mores. I pwomise." "Thank you Alice, but I really don't think there's anything you or anyone can do to help with this kind of lost," Ally added with a sigh. The child's eyes flashed and smile spread across her face. "If I had magic powers wike Mummy, I could waves my hand and takes you home and then you be losted no mores, but...but..." The smile that had came quickly faded just as fast. "But...I no bigs enuff yets to habs magic wike Mummy cause...cause my spells no works wight. I twys weally weally hards but I keeps messins up. Mummy saided I no louds to does spells no more after I turned a mean ol boy into a fwoggie. I tolded hers it was an axidents, but...but...I still gots in twoubles after her turned him back." Ally put her hand to her mouth to hide her giggle. The frustrated look on Alice's face was priceless. It was almost as if she believed she really could turn boys into frogs. It was obvious the child had a vivid imagination, but sadly, Ally's problems were very real. "Alice, I know you want to help, but I don't think magic, not even "Mummy magic" can help with the kind of lost I am." Alice nodded but she wasn't about to be discouraged, "Ally, eben if I no cans does magics, I still can helps you no be losted no mores. I bets I cans." Alice rubbed her nose as she thought a minute and then the smile returned, "Ally maybe your mummy will use her mummy magic and come finds you and take you home." Ally shook her head and sighed, "Umm...I don't have a mummy, Alice. She's gone." Ally's words were true. The woman had been gone from her life for some time and while she had been Ally's mother, she'd never ever been her mummy. Alice frowned and hugged Ally tightly. She couldn't imagine not having a mummy. Saddened but undaunted she pushed on. "Ally does you gots a daddy to takes cares of yous at your home cause maybe hims will comes finds you." Ally bit her lip, unsure of how to respond. "Well...I don't think daddy will come looking for me Alice, because ummm...I am a big girl now and daddy's house isn't really home anymore. I'm not so sure I even had a home." The truth was, her childhood home had never been home and if her daddy had ever come looking for her, it was to beat the hell out of her. She was definitely better off homeless. The little girl scratched her head and then another thought came to her, "Ally, Mommy says home is where's your heart is. Maybe if you knows where's your heart is den you will knows where's your home is and...and...den you won't be losted no mores, sees? So Ally, does you knows where's your heart is?" Tears threatened at Ally's eyes again as she knew where her heart was, and where it had been ever since that night on stage. Her mind filled with Andy's presence as she fought to find words and a smile for Alice, "Alice I know where my heart is, and I wish my home could be there too, but I can never go there." Alice sighed and then frowned. "How comes Ally? Don't you members hows to gets deres?" "Yes, I know how to get there, but I can't go," Ally answered. "It is too fars aways Ally?" asked the child. "No, that's not the problem, see it's complicated and..." Alice didn't understand words like complicated and cut Ally off before she could explain, "Is dey anybody at dis home dat loves you and wants you deres?" A bit flustered the young woman tried to field the child's fast-coming questions. "Well, yes Alice, there is. There is one person who loves me very much, but..." "Well don't you loves dem back?" Ally blew out a breath, "Yes Alice I love them back, but..." The little girl cut her off again and shook her head. "I no unnersands Ally. If you knows hows to gets home, and...and its no toos fars way, and umm...dey is somebody deres who loves you and...and...you loves dem back, den how cans you be all losted? Don't you wanna goes home and bes wiff dem Ally?" Ally had been bested by the babe. Her child's logic was inescapable. It was all so simple to the little one, and yet so very complicated for Ally. The want for her home, for her Andy and the life she could never have overwhelmed her and she pulled Alice in to her arms and cried. "Yes Alice, I do wanna go home, I do! But, I just can't." The little girl snuggled with Ally and then like a pint-sized version of her own mummy, she sought to comfort her new friend, "It's otays Ally. No cwys. I knows what you is spossed to does now. Mummy saided dat if I ebers gotted lost or weal sads or didn't knows what to does, dat all I gots to does is cose my eyes and tinks of hers and she will comes gets me, and fixes eberyting! Sees Ally? Dats all you gots to does, tinks of da one who loves you wikes my mummy loves me and I bets dey will come gets you, and...and....takes you home and ebery tings will be happily eber afters likes da faiwy tales says." Ally hugged and kissed the little one, too innocent to know that real life isn't like fairy tales, and sadly there are very few happy endings. Alice looked at her with pleading eyes and then a voice to match, "Peas Ally, peas try. I knows it will works. Please....you just gots to trys it. Otays, pleeeeease?" Ally's own heart was already broke. She couldn't bear to see the child's broken by her refusal, so she reluctantly gave in. Alice hugged her tightly and then wiggled away from her as she told Ally to close her eyes and tinks bouts da person her loves most and to keep thinking unt