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Denied
By Karen Page
Tina with tears streaming down her face and her heart shattered, parked
the car into a deserted car park. During the day, this was a beauty
spot, with breath taking views of the surrounding area. Till midnight,
it was a spot for lovers. At two in the morning, it was desolate.
She got out the hosepipe and secured it inside the exhaust pipe,
padding the gaps with an old sock so the fumes would travel up the
pipe. The other end she pushed through the front passenger window and
blocked the gap with a damp towel. She did this with a painful
determination, no longer willing to hope.
Climbing into the driver's seat, she firmly shut the door and locked
it. Tina opened the glove compartment, removed an envelope and placed
it on the passenger seat in full view. There was a single word "Yvonne"
placed in shaky handwriting on its cover. Tina placed her right hand on
the keys that were already in the ignition and, taking a final deep
breath of fresh air, turned on the engine.
Tina's final journey had started.
"This is the only way," said Tina to herself as she waited for the
effects to start. It would have been quicker if this had occurred in
the garage but that might have been discovered. No, here was the best
place. This place that is so desolate, which matched her soul.
For the last five years, Jason had been the top trouble-shooter in the
company. When he'd told his bosses about his medical condition they
were shocked but supportive, as any good boss should be. Within a
month, more menial tasks were being assigned and Jason was moved into a
mundane position that would be the first to go in any cutbacks. A month
later, Tina replaced Jason in the company. Three months after, Tina was
one of the twelve that were surplus to requirements.
With a sigh mixed with sorrowful tears for her shattered dreams, Tina
looked across the valley and the vast amount of twinkling lights. They
didn't seem as clear as earlier, or maybe it was just wishful thinking.
The air in the car smelt horrible and try as she might, Tina couldn't
help coughing as the fumes filled her lungs. The end was getting
closer. She removed her gaze from the lights below and checked that the
precious envelope was still beside her, awaiting the person to find the
car. All Tina had to do was open a window or the door and nobody would
know. The thought crossed her weakening mind but she fought against the
desire.
Tina was finding it hard to concentrate, her mind kept wandering. To
focus her mind she pulled out a picture of Yvonne and their two young
children. Helen was two and Jayne just four. Four last Saturday, remind
Tina to herself, and I wasn't allowed to come to the party. Since
Yvonne had emotionally asked Tina to leave, she had been denied access
to see her children. Yvonne wouldn't even acknowledge phone calls or
letters. Without a job, Tina had no money to fight for access.
Tina began to feel weak and light headed. No longer could she cough up
the fumes from her lungs. Her time was rapidly coming to an end. With
one last effort she unlocked the car door. If someone came they would
be able to get her out. The darkness enclosed around her and she
slipped into unconsciousness. Tina had stopped crying now; she was in
the land of her dreams. Only someone driving past could now save her.
Nobody came.
At just past six the following morning Tina was found dead, the picture
of Yvonne and the children on her lap.
***
"We are here to say our final farewell to Jason Paul Bishop," intoned
the vicar, the coffin resting at the front of the church.
At the back of the church sat two ladies and a man. These were friends
of Tina's that had stuck by her through the torture of the last few
years. Becky, Tina's closest friend looked stunned at the vicar. She
knew Yvonne had got Tina's letter otherwise she wouldn't have been
notified of Tina's death. However, Tina's final dying wish, clearly
stated in the envelope had been denied. Her dying wish to be buried as
Tina, the person her soul dictated rather than Jason, the name given at
birth.
During her thirty years of life, Tina had been denied. Now during death
she was denied again. Only to be remembered by the few that knew the
happy soul that Tina Francis Bishop was.
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