MARQUIS TO MARQUISE
I was born a male in 1757.
That must seem like a very strange phrasing but you'll see why I use it.
My name is Jean Paul Richard. I was the firstborn child of my father,
the leading aristocrat of our region in the east of France at the foot
of the mountains leading into Switzerland. But I have no brothers, only
two sisters, so there was never any question who would succeed my
father, Luc Richard, the Marquis.
There was little else I could wish to do as I was growing. My father,
the Marquis, was a giant figure in the region, literally in one sense.
He was over six feet tall when that was very rare. But more than his
simple height, my father had achieved stature in his life, had gathered
about him an aura of authority for his wisdom. My father read
Montaigne, Rousseau, Voltaire and Montesquieu and could quote at a
moment's notice an apt saying. He held Montesquieu in great esteem but
had the best command of and affinity for Voltaire, whose estate, Ferney,
was also in our corner of France.
My Father, the Marquis, also knew many other writers both French and
foreign. He particularly liked the roman, Epictetus and the greek,
Aristotle among the ancients. He knew all the sciences as well but
preferred philosophy most of all. He loved to spark a fire of curiosity
in my sisters and me with the flint of a seemingly simple question.
What's the best way to be happy? Do men always get what they deserve in
the end in life? And many more. My father, the Marquis did not
forswear religion. He never acted or spoke so that he was directly
challenging the local priests but his words and actions showed that he
regarded them as ceremonial afterthoughts in the new world of the
enlightenment.
We lived on a huge estate of thousands of acres with an imposing estate
house at its center like other aristocratic families. We had scores of
workers and servants like other aristocratic families. But we actually
had less wealth than some other families with similar estates. My
father paid everyone working on the estate more than he could have
gotten away with paying them. It wasn't charity. They were happier.
Life with them was happier for us. And on an intellectual level, my
father was convinced that the way most French aristocrats treated
peasants was going to be the ruin of France.
My father the Marquis openly harbored Hugenots and even Israelites on
our estate
species of knowledge is circulated, that those in danger of religious
persecution could find refuge on our estate. We did not give alms or
charity to any of these unfortunates. They paid us the same as did any
others to stay for any period on the estate. Or they worked as any
other workmen did on the estate. I remember, in my early teens helping
hay fields alongside a poet who happened to be protestant and being
tutored in mathematics by a hebrew who had been forced to flee his own
home near Rheims. They were given no charity but they were treated no
worse than any others. There were even two negro families on our
estate, not moors but true negroes. Their skin was as dark as coal. I
met other negroes whose flesh was more the hue of umber but the families
on our estate were from a province of Africa where the sun beat down so
consistently that the people became nearly obsidian in response. Carl,
the son of one of the families was my best friend.
My father preached the values of the enlightenment, of tolerance and
giving others the freedom to act on their reason. He advocated changes
to the governance of France to reflect these values. Once, when my
sisters and I had gone up to his and my mother's bedroom to show our
clothes for a New Year's Eve party, my father explained it quite simply.
He pointed to me in my formal jacket and breeches and said, "You, Jean
Paul are England. You have shared power as wise Montesquieu would
counsel. You have flexibility," he said tugging at my somewhat stiff
coat. "What if trouble arises and England is shaken?" he asked, giving
me a push. I shifted on my 13 year old legs and regained my balance.
"But you, Nicole, are France" he said smiling and touching the nose of
my grinning, 12 year old sister, Nicole. She was accoutered in her
finest shimmering ball dress, a sea of ruffles below a wide, spreading
skirt, her adolescent girl's waist locked tight in the embrace of her
first corset.
"What happens if trouble arises and France is shaken?" asked my father
and with the push of just one finger he toppled her over onto the
extravagant quilt of his and my mother's bed. He pulled her back up as
he noted "France is lovely but France would be stronger if not so
tightly controlled."
"So, you don't want me to wear my corset, Papa?"
"Your mother will decide that sort of thing," said the Marquis.
"Fathers should concern themselves more with the superficialities of
sons than of daughters."
But even with me, he let his affection for me win out over his own
preferences. In one of my few rebellions against him I let my hair grow
long from the time I entered puberty, going about with either my
shoulder length hair flowing behind me or tied in a queue like a
chinaman's. Most often, my chestnut brown hair was flowing behind me
for I only spent half each day, at most, with my tutors. The rest of
each day, I would be riding horses or running through the fields. I
grew to be almost as tall as my father by my 18th birthday and I was the
fastest boy around. When passing fairs held contests for sprinting and
leaping, I always beat all the boys my age and even those a few years
older. I had a long lanky frame with just enough muscle to it.
Sometimes after I won a sprint at one of these fairs, a burlier
competitor would look at me and shake his head looking at me, his
slender conqueror. After one fair in which I won all the sprints, the
man announcing the position of the finishes called me the 'Mercury of
the Alps'. Don't think I didn't repeat that one to my sisters, Nicole
and Jeanne.
I was immensely proud in part because I was very much like my father.
Though aged more than two score years by that time, he was still trim
and had spring in his step. Avoirdupois was a status symbol in some
aristocratic quarters, great girth being a visual symbol of one's
affluence and ability to freely gorge on the products of the land unlike
waifish servants. But my father thought this was silly. He also
regarded immobilizing mass as feminine for it was men who were the
catalytic agents of society, who acted and with the motive power of
their wills and sinew changed the world. These corpulent gentry who
occasionally visited our estate did little but sit their immense bottoms
upon our divans and then make their way to our dinner table to further
their immensity. Their bloated immobility seemed, frankly, feminine to
me. These yard wide counts and dukes could not possibly live as
vigorous a life as a slender athletic man such as my father.
My father was not like that and neither was I. I enjoyed the abundance
of my energy. Yes, I had my vanity, I was a very handsome boy, too.
That wasn't my self regard. It's what I was frequently told. Visitors
to our estate remarked about my striking gray eyes and sharp featured
face to my parents. But my parents made sure that I never adopted airs.
I was not allowed to treat even butlers or maids with arrogance. "A
strong man does not need to force others down to stand tall," my father
used to say. I remember visiting the estate of a count with my father
and watching that man furiously berate his staff for failings both
miniscule and imagined. After each such tirade he seemed to feel
better. After we retired for the evening, my father explained in detail
about the psychology of this particular man and how his arrogance was
really a manifestation of great insecurity. My father never let me see
another man treating his servants or workers badly without commenting on
the mistreatment.
Upon reaching my 18th year, my father sent me to Paris. The stated
reason was to continue my education at the Sorbonne. The unstated
reason was to continue my education in the culture of France. For this
reason, I took only the minimum number of classes in my first year of
study. I knew only the world of living on our estate and though the
words of wise men like Montesquieu and Voltaire were brought to our
lands there was so much more to experience. As my two trunks were
loaded onto the coach to carry me to Paris after a stop in Lyon, my
father summed it all up.
"You must know of Paris, my son, to be a proper Marquis in the future.
There are nearly innumerable ways that men may order their relations
with their fellow man. You'll see many more of them there that you've
not known on our estate. That alone does not make them good or bad but
I believe that ignorance of them is bad as it will color your perception
of what options are open to you and others," he said patting my
shoulder.
"Yes father."
"Now, enjoy yourself, Jean Paul," he chuckled, "But never diminish
yourself. Never act so that you prevent yourself from becoming the man
you can be. And remember the counsel of Aristotle. The surest way to
be a happy man is to be good."
I nodded.
I embarked minutes later after hugs and kisses from my mother and
sisters as well as some of the servants. I was acutely aware that I was
carrying the family's reputation with me as well as thousands of francs
to be deposited in a Paris bank. The journey to the capital took over a
week with a day's stop in Lyon. There, I followed one of my body guards
into a somewhat disreputable district. Serge, my bodyguard, a very
large man of typically saturnine expression pulled me along with him
past darkened alleys and half lit shops selling no immediately
discernible goods. Two or three times, as we worked deeper into the
labyrinth of streets in the oldest part of the city I wished to turn
back but Serge would not have it and tugged my shoulder to force my
steps to be just behind his. At last we arrived at the gaily painted
but decaying front of a 3 story building.
"Another part of your education," Serge smirked.
He led me inside and even in my innocence I quickly realized that the
women who greeted Serge and asked who I was were courtesans. Their
raiments were solely women's undergarments slightly adapted to cover
more of their voluptuous bodies. With but a nod, the woman who greeted
Serge directed another woman to take me as her charge. As she led me up
the darkened stairway to a bedroom lit with a candle that filled the
small room with a most pleasant vanilla odor, I heard Serge tell her "He
will be the next Marquis. An innocent lad but one of substance."
"We'll see how much substance he has to show Cecile," I heard the senior
courtesan laugh.
I must confess that I did not occupy Cecile for very long. She was
attractive if a bit voluptuous for my taste. Cecile smiled at my long
slender body as I undressed it and showered her with kisses. I
undressed her and began performing the sexual act with her hands roaming
over my backside before I climaxed just a minute or two into congress.
I withdrew my generative organ and rolled off Cecile onto the bed with
mild apologies for not having given greater pleasure. But she patted my
bottom as I stood and reassured me that it had been fine with a sincere
smile.
"Quel cul t'as mon garcon! Aujourd'hui tu es devenu un homme" she said
softly as she continued to rub my bottom and side but mostly my bottom
as I stared down considering her most somberly.
"I was not aware that women were so fond of men's derrieres," I said to
break the silence.
She laughed. "Oh, oui, mon cheri. Especially fine round ones such as
yours which are almost ornaments of flesh. You may not believe this but
a woman fancies you almost as much as you are interested in her."
"Really?"
"Oh yes!" she chuckled. "Don't believe foolish nonsense that divides
women between the perfect and the worthy of only scorn. The good are
not nearly so good and the bad not nearly so bad as you might imagine,"
she added gleefully patting my nearer buttock and then rolling lazily
onto her back. "You might not believe this, but I was once in a convent
and if you had appeared before me in those surroundings as you are
before me right now, I would probably have done with you as we just did.
And even now I could recite all the doctrines in our catechisms. And I
would be sincere."
"You are well spoken and you have insight. Why do you receive the
affections of men whom you do not know?"
She laughed and gave the bare arc of my hip one last affectionate rub.
"First of all, get dressed, young aristocrat, before I am tempted to
indulge without payment. I do this for the obvious reason, cheri. I
choose to. What else could I be if I were not here? Washerwoman?
Dressmaker, perhaps? That would be the best for which I could hope.
No, this is not nearly so bad as it is supposed. With each... client I
try and find the one sincere aspect of their expression of amour and
focus upon that to the exclusion of other parts. You looked me in the
eye and kissed me as though kissing your true love. So, I focused on
your kissing of me and paid less attention to other elements of our
congress, except your luscious fundament," she chuckled then settled
into a soft, enigmatic smile.
She looked me right in the eye. I was looking her in the eye as well,
wanting to understand her but not fully grasping her explanations of
herself.
"Oh, cheri. I like the way you look at me."
"How is that?"
"You look with no pity. You did not set yourself above me to study the
poor fallen woman. I am not fallen," she chuckled, "but have stretched
out comfortably on my fine linens."
But saying that, she sighed then sat up and started to dress herself as
I gathered my own clothing. As I finished, I put three francs upon the
nightstand.
"Silly boy. Your friend paid for you downstairs. Madame does not trust
all of us to accurately report the scope of the transaction to her and
that amount would not be quite sufficient."
"I was aware of that. I saw Serge give her money as we ascended the
stairs. That is for you because I wish you well."
With that, she stood up and embraced me. "What is your name again,
young man?"
"Jean Paul."
"Good. Jean Paul is a name I like. Now, the next time you are with a
woman, Jean Paul, pay attention that just inside the entry to her womb,
she has a small nub of flesh which, if rubbed, will bring her much
pleasure. It is a woman's focus of her pleasure in the same way that
your sexual organ is the focus of your own. If you attend to it
properly, you will make the love of your life most happy."
"I-I did not even know that such attribute of woman existed," I
confessed.
"Few do," she sighed. "If only you knew what it was to be a woman.
Alas, that cannot be. So, simply be considerate, Jean Paul, and all
will resolve to your benefit."
I went downstairs and waited for Serge, who took considerably longer
with his courtesan and tried to fully consider the events in my mind.
The act was great pleasure but ephemeral in my inexperienced state.
Cecile sincerely enjoyed it yet she did not know me at all. Despite
what she said, this confounded me.
But as I considered it, I decided to accept Cecile's words. Perhaps a
woman could enjoy sensual pleasures as ends in themselves just as I
could. But, though I could, it would certainly be preferable to unify
pleasures of the body with appreciation of qualities of mind and spirit.
I resolved, as Serge led me back through the streets of Lyon, to next
time engage in congress with a betrothed, a beloved. That would be a
higher expression of a man.
A week after my arrival in Paris, after setting my affairs in order and
establishing residence on a quiet street in a fine neighborhood, I met
Marie Suffren. Marie united every aspect of desire in me. She was
beautiful, tall and slender yet with a beautiful bosom and skin that
fairly glowed, made even more noticeable by the shine of her dark brown
hair. Lust was immediately inspired at the sight of her. But, on
approaching to speak to this beauty, I found her to also be the
possessor of a sharp mind and a nimble wit. And as I courted this
wonderful girl, I came to appreciate how kind and generous she was.
To my great delight, there was immediately that serendipity of two souls
which is a match of love. She so often guessed my thoughts in almost
any setting and so often seemed to have the same reaction to a
circumstance that I felt as though we had always been together. I soon
came to feel as though we always would. Though we went to many events
and affairs together there was no question of consummating our love.
She was from a titled but not especially affluent family from the
Lorraine region of mixed French and German heritage that was deeply
religious.
They were to visit one weekend and I resolved to learn a passage from
the bible in German to repeat to her mother and her family. I mentioned
this to some of my acquaintances. A couple days later, a boy I only
slightly knew approached me and suggested that a certain church had a
priest who spoke both French and German fluently and could help me
memorize biblical passages in German. It was odd, this suggestion
coming from this boy I only slightly knew but it seemed to be just what
I needed. I went to the address given. It was on the edge of both good
and bad neighborhoods. It was a very small church, dark both inside,
and out. I walked inside and shivered a moment despite it being the
middle of summer and quite warm. I crossed myself and almost
immediately a man in a hooded robe like a monk approached me. I
explained my circumstance and mentioned the other boy who had referred
me to his church. The monk-like figure gestured for me to follow him
and led me to a room off the back of the church. He handed me a
strangely bound book with a very odd, tan colored leather grain that I
presumed to be a German bible. He gestured inside and then said that I
should first read aloud page 55 to help memorize the phonetic sounds
there and that after I did so, I should knock on the door and he would
come in and discuss it with me and help me. I bowed my head slightly
and smiled a thank you.
I stepped inside the nearly bare room, knelt at a pew and opened the
book. It was clearly not a bible, but must be some sort of primer for
studying the bible, I guessed. I wondered about the book's cover but
hesitated to guess from what animal it came as I somehow instinctively
shuddered at the sight of it. With a sigh, I opened it to page 55 and
looked at the writing. It was fine gothic script but I doubted that the
words were really German. I'd met enough travelers at our estate and
now here in Paris who spoke German to have some idea how the language
would sound but this didn't seem to be it. Where were all the G's, F's,
K's and Z's? Oh well. I carefully read aloud the phonetic sounds on
the page. Almost immediately, a shiver ran down the length of my spine
such as I'd never felt before. I bent my back to accommodate it like a
cat stretching on the floor. My teeth started chattering
uncontrollably. What in hades was going on here? I staggered to the
door just as my body seemed to switch from feeling frigid to being
consumed by tremendous heat. The last thing I remembered was the door
swinging open immediately after my faltering knock. There, grinning at
me was St. Germain. I remember wondering what the hell he was doing
there and then blacking out.
I have no clear recollection of what transpired from that point till I
remember waking up, feeling wracked with fever and sore over my entire
body in the bushes outside that same church like a common vagrant unable
to rise from all fours after too much drink. I groaned at my all
encompassing discomfort and wondered at the oddly high sound of my voice
at even this guttural expression. I had to get out of there. Was it
the next morning? I had to meet with Marie and her parents! St.
Germain must have been trying to get me to miss that meeting.
But I felt so odd. Every muscle, every part of my flesh seemed to
twitch and flutter. What were all these odd sensations? I felt heavy
and yet small. Had my shirt pockets been stuffed with heavy objects?
Why did my shirt sag so? My eyes seemed almost covered over with dried
tears and I rubbed at them a few moments and blinked many times before I
could see. I struggled to get to a seated position and felt a breeze
pass straight through the seam of the seat of my pants as I did. They
must've somehow split.
"Why would St. Germain split my pants?" I asked out loud and froze in
place. My voice was sultry and high pitched, befitting only the most
coquettish female. I sat up and cleared my throat. "This is my real
voice," I said trying to feel confidence about the matter, but heard not
the bass I expected. Instead it was another sultry purr. What in the
world has happened to me? I sound worse than Nicole or Jeanne! But I
soon forgot about the odd sound of my voice for as I sat there puzzling,
I soon apprehended that something was amiss with the part of me on which
I sat. I seemed to be covering much too much ground, much too much
ground.
"What's become of my slim waist and hips?" I wondered to myself, afraid
to use my voice. My buttocks felt enormous as I shifted my weight a bit
from side to side, testing this odd sensation of width. I found this
apparent expansion of my runner's ass so ridiculous that I chose to
disregard it. It simply couldn't be.
With effort, I stood up and found that my coat hung comically large
about my shoulders, the sleeves extending over my hands I reluctantly
gave in to my curiosity and reached back to my buttocks while noticing
that my pantlegs drooped over shoes that suddenly seemed to have grown 3
sizes. Oh my god. I froze. I still remember that moment where I first
began to realize what had happened to me. I ran my hands across my
buttocks and was shocked at the size of my rump and not just its size
but also its shape. It was real. Something was amiss. A man rendered
unconscious does not awaken to find his buttocks widened twofold!
I even pinched my seemingly expanded derriere hard hoping to somehow
find that this enlarged flesh was not me.
"Oh!"
I was startled first at the sting of this pinch at what truly was me and
then at my own high pitched chirp in response. I was frantic now,
gasping at the implications of these discoveries. I could not bear to
consider what had happened to my taut, round little ass any further. I
pressed my hands further up my body and found that my already slender
waist was not enlarged like my hips but somehow even further reduced.
What in hades?! My shape has become like an hourglass!
The reality of my situation suddenly struck me like a musket shot.
"I-I'm . . a . . woman! I'm a woman!" I muttered in shock with my voice
perfectly befitting such a declaration.
"No. This can't be. A young man can't simply be turned into a woman.
That's a fantasy of superstition and child's tales."
But I continued to inspect myself. I was shorter. My shoulders were
much smaller as were my hands and feet. And, hesitantly, I pressed
these new little hands of mine to the bobbing spheres of flesh beneath
my coat and shirt that I wished I could ignore. But it was true. I had
a pair of full round breasts, large for my new size I thought.
Finally, I gasped as I considered my generative organ. If all this was
true... !!
I pulled my breetches out from my abdomen. It was quite easy to do so.
I looked down and saw nothing.
"No!"
I reached downward with one dainty hand and pressed its little palm to
the spot where my absent penis should have been. I felt only a
diminished patch of hair and then, with the tips of my little fingers,
my new vertical lips. I nearly fainted. Then it's true. I... I'm a...
a woman.
No! This cannot be I argued one last time in my own mind. I'm Jean
Paul Richard. I'm six feet tall. I weigh one hundred sixty pounds.
I'm a young man. A young man, I asserted.
But I pressed my hands to the seat of my pants and felt the full expanse
of my new wide, fleshy rear and ran them up to my narrow waist and them
up the front of my torso to cup them under my melon sized breasts. I
hung my head in surrender. My femininity was undeniable.
But how? How did this come about? Then I remembered the odd book and
St. Germain. I felt like crying and barely suppressed a tremendous urge
to sob like a girl but gathered myself and resolved to take my revenge
upon him as soon as I could. First I had to get to my lodgings and send
a note to Marie apologizing for not being able to meet with her and her
parents this evening. God! What would they think if they found that
the boy seeking their daughter's hand was a girl himself?!
I tried to regain my composure by asserting my usual sense of my own
dignity. But as I stepped out to the sidewalk and looked around at
passersby shaking their heads at the sight of me I realized that I was a
foul smelling, extremely unkempt woman dressed for some reason in
tattered and ill-fitting men's clothes. As I shuffled out to the walk,
my shoes seemed ridiculously oversized for my feet. I wanted to adopt my
normal long, fast stride but found that I couldn't. Without the
slightest intention I found myself immediately adopting a hip swaying
gait. How odd. Also very odd was the absence of my penis and scrotum
hanging between my legs as I strode along. I stopped myself after a
half mile and consciously adopted a more masculine march. I wasn't
going to give in to this ridiculous situation. But as soon as my mind
wandered for a moment to notice passersby and street signs I found I
immediately adopted that same derriere flaunting walk again.
I gritted my teeth. Fine! I'll just have to accept that for now. I
walked on, past disapproving men and woman. Well, the women were more
disapproving than the men. Some of the men looked at me in a way that I
didn't understand at first. But then, just a quarter mile from my
rooms, I walked past a restaurant window painted black from the inside
to dissuade curiosity. I looked at my reflection. Clearly, I was a
woman beneath these men's clothes. But now I could look at my face.
I caught my breath. I was... beautiful. Even with my shoulder length
hair, unbrushed and looking feral, I was a striking girl. I was
beautiful. My god. This only added to my femininity. That's why the
men were looking at me like that. There was some of my young man's face
there. My eyes were the same color but most of my eyebrow hairs were
gone, leaving only two thin arcs. My nose was diminished and my
cheekbones were even more prominent. My jaw was smaller as was my mouth
but my lips were decidedly fuller, practically begging to be kissed. Oh
my god. I was beautiful.
I resolved to be completely honest with myself to deal with what had
been done to me. The young woman in the window was striking. I found
her very attractive. I could certainly make love to a woman like that.
Yet, she was... me, Andre. I shook my head at this paradox and kept
sashaying along the city streets. A few minutes later, I was
approaching the building where I lived when I saw the jackets and
vehicle of the fire department. The odor of foul smoke was in the air.
I soon realized that the portion of the building including my rooms had
already burned to the ground. My pretty mouth fell open and I
staggered backward. All my possessions were burned. Everything. I had
only the tattered and ill-fitting clothes on my back. And who would
believe that I was Jean Paul Richard with my present appearance?
I sat down on the masonry wall at the front of the building across the
street. The very sensation of being seated left me feeling humiliated
and angry at the obvious expansion of my buttocks, at how my taut
runner's ass had now been made into the rump of a courtesan. I flailed
about mentally. Nothing could prepare a young man for a situation such
as this, suddenly being a young woman. I could not figure out what to
do next when I suddenly realized that the fire department men and some
other officials were talking about the tragic death of a young man in
the fire. And I realized that they were saying it was me! I stepped
forward and crossed the street. There was a charred body, only a foot,
shoe and ankle not totally blackened. But the body, such as it was, was
approximately six feet tall and slender.
I edged forward anxiously, wondering how I could show them that the
charred body on the ground was not Jean Paul Richard. But I realized
that my tale would seem fantastic and ridiculous to the men and that my
unkempt appearance would have them thinking I was simply a female
drunkard. It was in this disconsolate mood that I started edging away
and bumped into Louis Girard, a foppish friend of both Marie and me. He
looked at me oddly, perhaps recognizing Andre's clothes. I was touched
to see that he had tears in his eyes at the scene before him.
"Louis!" I whispered desperately. "It's I, Jean Paul."
Louis looked at me, blinked and kept walking past me. I tugged at his
shoulder. Just a short time ago, I would have knocked him down with
that much of an effort. With my new girlish body, I slowed his
progress.
"Louis! I-I ... I am Jean Paul Richard. Ignore my appearance and the
pitch of my voice. Some sort of magick has been worked on me. But I'm
Jean Paul. I-I need your help!"
Louis looked perplexed, more by the question of how to get rid of this
foul smelling insane woman. I couldn't miss this chance. I pushed with
all my reduced might and thanks to Louis's acquiescence directed him
into the sheltered doorway of the adjacent building.
"You have to listen to me Louis. What I'm going to tell you is
fantastic but it's true. I'm Jean Paul Richard. Through some
inexplicable magick, Gaspard St. Germain has turned me into a woman."
Louis glanced nervously from side to side. "That is insane,
Madamoiselle and, frankly, disrespectful." He began in the slightly
nasal delivery I knew well. "Monsieur Richard was a wonderful young man
and now he's dead. Please restrict your future impersonations to those
of your own gender and shy away from the recently departed."
Louis brushed me aside but I latched onto his coat.
"Please Louis. I can prove it! I can prove it."
Louis sighed wearily. If the police officer on the scene had been
closer by I think Louis might simply have called for him but instead he
looked down his nose at me and sniffed contemptuously. "Allright insane
girl, whoever you are. I don't know how you know me, but prove it."
"First, look at my clothes, Louis. Aren't these the vestments of Jean
Paul Richard?"
Louis looked me up and down. "They certainly appear to be but then
anyone, perhaps especially a crazy person, may have looted a burning
building."
"True enough, Louis, but what if that same person knows things about you
that you told to Jean Paul Richard? What if that same person knows that
you actually did once give your affection to a girl and not a boy, at a
New Year's Eve celebration in Burgundy."
Louis leaned back and stared at me with interest now.
"What if that person knows that you tried to kiss Monsieur Richard a
month ago when you were drunk on that awful Italian wine you like so
much?"
"Mademoiselle! If you're accusing me of... unnatural affection for the
deceased-"
"Relax, Louis. I'm not."
"Well, Jean Paul Richard may have told you such a tale but-"
"Louis! I didn't. I wouldn't. I have no wish to hurt you. You're my
friend."
He eyed me with great curiosity now. "You may know of some particular
tale told to you but greater proof would be to answer questions you
cannot know in advance. What did Jean Paul Richard whisper to me just
before the start of the last opera he and I and his Marie attended?"
"Wait, oh, um, I remember. I remember! I said 'Now begins the
bellowing of the obese'."
Louis was stunned. "That's right," he whispered barely audibly. But
not fully convinced, he asked another. "If you're really Jean Paul,
then what did I say to you last week at the Turkish bath about Marie?"
"Louis, you said that her chaste ways were only making her want me more
because the restrictions her parents put on her behavior so limits our
contact. You then said that, even if it were not a match of true love
they would be stoking her affection for me to the same fervor as if it
was."
Louis's mouth hung open.
"Then", I added, "that brutish fellow passed by and saw you looking at
him and I had to step forward and tell him to be on his way."
Louis stepped forward and hugged me so hard that he squeezed my new
breasts painfully against his chest. They were so sensitive!
"I thought you were dead! Oh Jean Paul! What-what has happened to you,
young Jean Paul?"
"I know not. I am victim of some sorcery applied by St. Germain," I
said and recounted what I could of the events since I went to that
obscure church.
Louis sputtered and stared at me and sputtered some more trying to
reconcile his notions of what I had been with my new feminine
appearance.
"But you say that I was reported deceased?" I asked.
"Yes," he said staring at me with undiminishing curiosity.
"We can't let that belief spread. To have Marie and my family believe
me expired...?" I almost cried, shook my pretty head in disgust then
walked over to the charred ruins with Louis beside me. I looked at the
horrible corpse now reputed to be me. There had to be some way to
dispel this notion!
And then I saw it. The only part of the remains not completely
blackened was one foot and shoe.
"Louis!" I whispered. "Check the shoe. My foot is, or was larger than
yours. Is that such a size foot? That doesn't even look like my kind
of shoe, does it? Look at that silly buckle. What sort of fool wears a
shoe like that? I did not. Approach the policeman, Louis. Tell him
that you know Jean Paul Richard and that you have doubt that that is the
true identity of the corpse. Tell him that Richard had feet bigger than
yours and ask him to let you try on the shoe. And, please, be masculine
Louis!"
Louis nodded and smiled.
"What is it?"
"Look at yourself, Jean Paul. And you advise me to be masculine?"
I could not help but smile in return, even in those dire circumstances.
As I watched, Louis walked directly to the inspector and introduced
himself. He could play the part of a respected man very well when he
modulated his voice to a deeper pitch and spoke more slowly. He
naturally had the assured, almost contemptuous air of someone with the
connections to make sure that the inspector did what he requested. He
let the inspector walk ahead of him over to the corpse and almost
disinterestedly put forth his foot next to that of the uncharred shoe on
the body. From my vantage point some 50 feet away, it certainly
appeared that the inspector now had some doubts about my mortality as he
compared the shoe he now removed to Louis's. He wrote some things in a
small notebook, spoke a few more words to Louis then thanked him.
"Well," began Louis as he sidled up to me. "He certainly has some
skepticism, now. They might not officially declare you dead for a while
but if you don't turn up, they'll eventually disregard my recollection
of your feet. Don't you think?"
I nodded. "I suppose. Now, I must ask a great favor of you, Louis.
All my possessions have been burned and I am the victim of a
metamorphosis such as I never imagined possible. Will you please give
me shelter?"
Louis nodded with a most noble air. "I will help you my friend.
Besides," he laughed, "it will be good for my neighbors to see a
beautiful girl coming and going from my rooms rather than more
Ganymedes."
I smiled. I knew of Louis's interests from the moment I met him. He
looked at me with such fervor that no other inclination could be
possible. But I bore him no ill will for it. He was polite and
immediately relented upon my parrying his subtly romantic words to me.
Yet, I found him to be a clever fellow and fine company at the many
boring society affairs we attended separately. I believe he felt
similarly toward me despite the lack of prospect of congress. I think
he also enjoyed my straightforward behavior, so unaccustomed to it as he
was in Parisian society. Though he was frequently in the company of
Marie serving as a sort of confidant as well as attendant, I would not
complain as I knew he was no rival.
I walked along with Louis the half mile to his rooms. It was difficult
for me to keep up with the now taller Louis and as we walked he
bombarded me with questions.
"What do you notice most different in your form?"
"As we walk, I notice the loss of almost a half foot of height."
"What else?"
"My small but round sprinter's fundament-"
He smiled affectionately.
"-of which I was so proud feels ridiculously expanded into this...
this... courtesan's rump I now possess. Yet I feel at the same time
that despite much greater size, I've lost most motive power. Its size
is such that even despite these... these mammaries," I looked down at my
bouncing chest, "I feel my -----weight has shifted downward to-"
"The mammaries? How do they feel?" he queried breathlessly. "Do they
bring you easy pleasure?"
"I don't know. I-I haven't tried to stimulate myself. I only know that
I'm constantly aware of their presence as they sit on my chest and even
more so as we walk for they bounce so."
"What of your generative organ, my friend?"
"What of it? It's absent!" I grumbled as we crossed a quiet street.
"Completely?!"
"Yes, completely! The magick worked upon me spared no part of me in
changing my sex."
"How does it feel to walk with no sexual appendage hanging from the
junction of your legs?"
"It's hard to say. I-I simply notice the absence. When I cross one leg
a bit over the other, as when we turned that corner, I wince at the
expectation of squeezing my seed producers but encounter no sensation
save dewy soft thighs rubbing together."
"You have a female sex?"
I let out a long sigh at yet another question and such an embarassing
one. "Yes! I have a female sex."
"What does it feel like to have a female sex?"
-sigh- "Please, Louis! I scarcely know. I've only been sentient of
this new shape for several hours now. I only know it's there in
substitute for my former penis and scrotum. And what time is it anyway,
also what day?"
"It is 4:15 Thursday afternoon, my newly minted Venus."
"Thursday? I went to that church on Tuesday afternoon. So perhaps my
transformation took one and a half days."
I pondered this and scores of other things while we continued on and at
last arrived at Louis's lodging. His rooms were in a very desirable
neighborhood at the top floor of a large 3 story building with a
courtyard behind it. Louis's family had considerable money and the
furnishings were impeccable. My feet were sore when we finally closed
the door of his room and I immediately kicked off the oversized shoes.
Upon our entering, Louis's servant, Charles, appeared from the adjoining
room. Charles looked quite surprised at the sight of a female with
Louis.
"The fire is stoked and all the usual arrangements have been made, sir.
Do you or..." he raised an eyebrow, "... mademoiselle require anything
further?"
"No, Charles. Good evening," said Louis and he put an arm around me as
if I were his consort till Charles was gone. I certainly couldn't
begrudge Louis the opportunity to make pretenses of behavior that was
more socially acceptable than his actual practices.
Quickly upon the departure of his servant, Louis and I investigated my
new circumstances. I walked directly to the 3 foot wide full length
mirror in his bedroom. Louis took my coat and sniffed at me.
"You smell awful."
"I suspect I sweated tremendously through my metamorphosis. The last I
remember before blacking out was my body suddenly feeling chill and
then, as I lost consciousness being hot as a roaring fire. My waking
sensations were also of tremendous fever."
I now faced the image of the new me in my dress shirt and pants. I
looked comical. The shoulders of my shirt sagged like a becalmed sail.
The sleeves extended to my fingertips but worse than that, the pointy
nipples of my two melon sized breasts showed clearly against the thin
white fabric. Below that, the waist of my pants looked almost fit to
admit two of me, yet my hips and buttocks so filled the pants that even
with the seam burst in the rear, threads stretched to their limit showed
at the sides of my pants. The cuffs drooped to the floor so as to
obscure from view my feet.
Having put aside my coat, Louis grabbed my shoulder length hair from
behind, holding it this way and that in different feminine styles.
While he did so, I removed my shirt and pants and then my undershorts
that had been shredded by the expansion of my little ass. I stood naked
before the mirror. I did not feel self-conscious in front of Louis for
I knew he was much more interested in the lanky male Jean Paul than this
fleshy new feminine one. Also, my mind was still not completely
adjusted to my new circumstances. It still wasn't quite real that this
was me and so I could look at the nude woman in the mirror with
scientific detachment.
Even objective science could arrive at no other judgment but that the
young woman in the mirror was beautiful. A living symphony of young
womanhood. Oh, her hands and feet were dirty. Her face was too. But
she had a face that would have inspired Paris to cuckold a Greek king
and a fantastic, slender, hourglass shape, the recognition of which
would wet the mouth of the most elderly man. Behind me, I felt Louis's
fingertips at each side of my derriere.
"Stupendous!" he chuckled. "Your new fundament isn't enormous, it's
luscious. As full and round as any woman's. Wide, yes, compared to
Jean Paul's but then every rear end suffers in comparison to your
former."
I turned sideways to the mirror and saw that what he said was true. A
sentiment passed through my thoughts that I wanted to deny but couldn't.
And as a result of it I consciously wondered if perhaps it would have
been better to have been bewitched into the shape of a plain girl. It
was pride. I felt a bit of pride in my new body before it was quickly
washed over by my ongoing feelings of humiliation at my diminishment.
Lastly, I closed to the mirror and inspected my breasts with a hand
under each. Yes, they were large, but perhaps not as much so as I'd
initially thought, not the udders they'd first seemed, hanging from my
chest where no such appendage had been before. My reveries and
inspection were interrupted by Louis's playful slap of my rear with a
yardstick.
"Go on to my bath before the waters cool... Jean Paul."
Louis had a bath every day at this time, the waters drawn by Charles
before his departure. I made my way quickly to the large brass tub set
just off Louis's fireplace and realized that my gait was a ridiculously
feminine prance. I stepped into the waters all at once and winced.
Whether it was the heat of the waters or my newly sensitive skin, or
some combination, I didn't know but I could scarcely endure the
bathwaters. Sitting in Louis's special tub, the waters were up to my
neck and I was softly gasping to endure the heat before I noticed my
breasts floating upward from my chest to bob on the steamy surface.
Each purple nipple, more than twice the size of my former superfluous
ones. They pointed to the sky like active volcanoes atop two uncharted
islands in a warm equatorial sea. I began scrubbing and soaping my
front while Louis scrubbed my back and I noticed as well that I could
prohibit or admit waters into my female sex as I chose. Amazing.
Finally, at the end of these ablutions, Louis washed my hair with a
special soap he had for just that purpose and applied a rather pungent
solution to my tresses upon toweling all loose water out of them. I
asked Louis what end the solution was to serve but he said only that it
was to improve my hair. I busied myself with toweling dry and quickly
realized that, though my young man's skin had been unblemished, my skin
now was much finer still. From head to toe, it was dewy soft to the
touch, almost lustrous in its uniformity of hue. Finishing this last
inspection, a question occurred to me.
"Louis? Do you have any clothes that will fit me? You saw how ill-
suited for me my few items are."
Louis smirked. I did not understand.
"What is it Louis?"
"I have no men's clothes that will fit you, Jean Paul, but..."
I watched him smiling at me several moments till I suddenly understood.
"Oh. I-I did not know you did that, Louis."
"I create enough approbation with what is already known of me." said
Louis retreating to a wardrobe and looking quite sincerely toward me
over his shoulder. "You are one of the minority who accepts me as I am.
I suppose I didn't want to test that even further for finding that I may
lose your friendship."
I laughed. "Well, I will soon share in your fetish, Louis, though from
quite different motivation."
Louis returned with armloads of feminine finery. First he proffered a
full corset.
"No, Louis! Not a corset!" I resisted. I remembered kidding my sisters
about wearing corsets. Nothing represented surrender to inert
femininity like wearing a corset. Louis suggested it would be necessary
but I denied it, pointing out how small my waist already was. Louis
smiled and let me try his two dresses, a black affair all ringed with
lace of different apertures and the blue one of the shiny surface. I
strained and held my breath and did all I could but could wear neither.
Reluctantly, I admitted the need to be corsetted. Louis grinned as he
slipped the boned corset onto my young woman's body and began lacing it
up. I could see he was oddly enjoying himself and pondered this as my
waist began to be painfully constricted. I wondered if, despite our
friendship, he didn't relish turning his much more masculine companion
into the epitome of femininity with his device. Fair enough, I judged,
in return for my occasional catamite joke. But after one pass through
at all the laces, I found my breaths constricted to shallow ones and it
almost seemed to me that the corset was making my hips and bosom larger
as much as it was diminishing my already diminished waist. Yet, Louis
continued further and tugged on all laces a second time. He had me
stand with both hands grasping one post of his bed and I felt his knee
at my back. I begged him to reconsider. The pressure was intense but
despite my gasping and pleading, Louis continued until there was no gap
in the back of the corset. And then, with a chuckle, he proceeded to
knot the laces in such a way as I couldn't untie them myself.
"Friend Louis! Why did you do that to me?"
"I suppose it was born of delight in our role reversal, Jean Paul," he
said with a friendly slap to my humiliating new ass. "You protect me
and show me kindness and I now make you reliant upon mine."
I shrugged in acceptance and admiration of his candor. I tested out the
corset and found that it had almost no give at all. I could not much
bend at the waist at all. Further, my hips did feel further enlarged
though Louis claimed they had not changed. What could not be denied was
the way my bosom now overflowed the top of the corset like the foam
heads of two just poured mugs of ale set next to each other.
From that point, I essentially surrendered my dressing to Louis. First
I stepped into and stretched a pair of lace women's undergarment over my
hips to chuckling from Louis.
"You're much... fuller than me now," he smirked as I worked to stretch
them to cover my buttocks. With Louis's help I pulled on black lace
stockings I hooked to my corset then I pulled on the black dress, with
full skirt and petticoats and then had to sit inert on his divan while
Louis painted my fingernails and toenails. My nails had become oddly
long in the course of my transformation from male to female and they now
extended a half inch past the ends of my digits. Louis painted them a
blood red. While they dried, he brushed out my now dry hair. To my
surprise, my always straight hair would not stay straight no matter what
now. I realized this was due to the solution Louis had applied to it.
He brushed my hair high over my head in the fashion of the day, similar
to Marie's. This I protested. I didn't want to mirror my betrothed in
so many ways, but Louis insisted that it must be. I acquiesced. He
added just a touch of eyeliner, rouge and lipstick and finally, he
strapped high heeled shoes to my feet. I rose upon them unsteadily and
made my way to the full length mirror in his bedroom.
I was thunderstruck. The image before me was of the most perfect
example of a young woman of Parisian high society. In my mind I had
prepared to overcome instinctive revulsion at my appearance but found
myself reflexively smiling delightedly at my lovely attire and visage.
And yet, at the same time, I felt overpowering shame. Here I was, my
father's heir, the Marquis to be, with my hair piled a foot over my
head, my once strong face now recast as a visage of beauty to match
Helen of Troy, powdered and colored for maximum effect, my body reshaped
into an hourglass of female flesh, my male equipment somehow inverted
within me into a female sex.
I felt limp. What had become of me?
But as Louis counseled, I would have to go about attired that way until
I could regain my masculinity. It was the style of the day and if I was
to go about in society as necessary to exact revenge upon St. Germain, I
would need to be dressed as were women.
But seeing the humiliating completeness of my metamorphosis spurred me
on to hours of fervent discussion with Louis of St. Germain and of how
and what to communicate to Marie. Much as I wished to have a solution
right then, there were none which immediately presented themselves. So,
as fatigue started to set in, I reluctantly prepared to sleep in Louis's
quarters.
Until other arrangements could be made that's all we could do. I sighed
at yet another irony as, that night, Louis and I slept like brother and
sister in his, thankfully, large bed. As a boy, when one of my sisters
had a bad dream, they would run, not to my parents for comfort. It
seemed too much to disturb them over a dark reverie that, deep down she
knew was nothing more. But she would run to my bed and jump in with me,
tell me her fears, of this or that imagined monster. I would speak of
how it was nonsense and pat her head and let her sleep next to me for
reassurance. Only now, I was the girl and Louis was the protector but
the nightmare was real and it had been visited upon me.
It was quite a rude shock to me the next morning when I woke to find,
again, that this bad dream was real. I think, that in my first moments
of consciousness that I really expected to stretch out my six foot tall,
160 pound young man's frame and bound out of bed as always. But what
was this strange bed I half queried through the haze of awakening. Why
do I feel so constricted? What's this about me? A-a corset?!
"Aaarrrggghhh!!!"
I woke poor Louis with a start as all the recollections of my change of
sex flooded into my mind. It took me a few minutes to re-adjust to my
new feminine circumstances. Oh god. It's true.
Another difficulty that I had was my complete lack of funds. I could
not get access to my funds for I could not present myself at the bank,
being ignominiously feminized. And I could not write a check upon my
account as the account had been frozen by the bank upon the news of my
potential demise. Louis sniffed around a bit and learned that the bank
would release the money to my family but no one else.
A partial solution arose after just a few days when I attended a party
at the estate of a wealthy factory owner whom Louis knew. I walked with
him around the amazing grounds, immense gardens redolent of flowers and
marked by elaborate topiary, trying to become accustomed to this new
role I had to play. As I did, I wondered also how I could approach
Marie, what I would say to her and how I could take my revenge on St.
Germain. I could think of nothing else. It was in this setting,
staring absentmindedly at the orange bloom of a poppy and trying to
devise a strategy to extricate myself from that female flesh, that Louis
and I were approached by a wild haired young man walking very rapidly
but with very small steps.
"Louis!"
"Ah, Maurice! Bonjour!"
He ran a series of tiny steps up to Louis and they kissed each other's
cheek. Then the wild haired young man turned to me with an expression
that was positively manic.
"Louis! Who is she! I must have her! I must! I must! I must! That
is my young woman of the enlightenment! That is her!"
Before I could speak Louis answered "She is... Nicole Richard," he said,
giving me my sister's name. I frowned at him. This only further
personalized my shame. Louis described my family and its estate, giving
me a history much like my own, only leaving out the fact that I had been
a young man until just a few days previous. I don't know that the
manic, wild haired young man heard much of it anyway. He kept circling
around me, staring at all perspectives of me with the most open, forward
gaze possible. The other men at the party stared lecherously at me that
day but this one was positively feral.
It turned out that he was a sculptor with a degree of fame to his name.
He had been commissioned, by an aristocrat from Burgundy, to create a
pair of nude images, a young man and young woman, not lovers but perhaps
brother and sister as the children and exemplars of the new
enlightenment. He had been commissioned two months previously and had
not yet begun. He had not found a suitable model despite constantly
searching. He offered me a hundred francs to serve as his model. I
looked at Louis who gave the slightest shake of his head with closed
eyes. To the sculptor's exasperation I kept refusing despite his rapid
fire exhortations to be reasonable and not make him a pauper. We
settled on a figure that was multiples of his initial offer.
Thus was begun my association with Maurice Legrand who, despite his
name, was a rather diminutive man. I went to his studio the next day in
my blue dress with all that I was now accustomed to wearing underneath
it. But almost immediately upon my entering, Maurice starting removing
my clothing, speaking rapid fire all the while and, quite honestly,
showing no interest at all in my nude female body once I was disrobed.
This seemed odd given his peroration on my face and body at the ball the
previous evening. But, as I suspected, Maurice's amorous interests were
otherwise. He was a perfectionist and was determined to make the statue
he was creating for the Burgundian as beautiful as possible. He spent
15 minutes just explaining to me how stand and why that was the way that
would best display my beauty. After I did so on the marble pedestal, he
spent another 15 minutes explaining how the tiniest shift of my weight
would accent different features and contribute to or detract from the
beauty of my marble image. All the while he spoke extremely rapidly so
that I often had to repeat his words in my lovely sylph's head to
understand him.
As I performed my simple duties and Maurice chiseled away at the block,
he kept up a running monologue only occasionally assisted into becoming
a dialogue by me. I welcomed his loquaciousness for it was deadly
boring work to simply maintain my position and posture. He spoke of all
things, not just art and of art not just sculpting. He spoke of
portraiture and how strongly he disliked most of it. Remaining still, I
told him of our family portrait, painted when I was 11 years old. My
father had had a long argument with the painter. The painter wanted to
paint my father without a small scar that he had over one eye and
another mark. My father was adamant that they should not be omitted.
The painter said that it would detract from my father's 'presence'. My
father said that having 'presence' despite minor flaws would be more
impressive. Maurice agreed and for nearly a half hour cursed portrait
artists as frauds and charlatans.
Each day, around 1 o'clock, we would be done for the day and Maurice
would tie my corset and help me dress. Over the month that I worked for
him as a model, I was naked before him for around 100 hours. At the end
of it, he had created a statue in white marble that was a perfect copy
of my body. I was posed with some sort of torch in my upraised right
hand. Maurice said that I, actually my marble copy, was to stand at the
entrance to that Duke's estate, the purpose being twofold, to put an
actual flame in my marble hand as a light for visitors and to symbolize
the Burgundian's antipathy to religion and preference for reason. The
statue was purchased by my father and stands at the entrance to the
estate alongside another but I'll speak of that later.
The sole positive development of this period was that, with Louis's help
I was able to communicate the truth of my identity to Marie. Louis
arranged for us to meet in an empty building, a church that had been
taken from Hugenots by the catholic church when some of them were driven
from France and then sold by the papists to be used as a theater. There
was no production that evening. As I walked inside, Louis directed me
to a confession box. I waited there patiently, my heart beating like a
rabbit's as I heard the scuff of Marie's high heeled shoes and then her
soft steps on the floor leading to the box next to mine.
"Louis Girard says you have information about... " I could hear her eyes
tearing over in the flutter of her voice as she spoke, "...about Jean
Paul Richard?"
"Yes I do," I declared hating that I could produce no sound other than
the soft feminine purr of my new high pitched voice.
"What is his fate?"
"His-his fate is a most fantastic one."
"What is fantastic about undeserved passing?" she demanded indignantly.
"It is all too common! My parents say that the almighty has a plan.
Why must this plan include the expiration of a handsome young soul of
joy while blackguards and brigands still abound? That is a plan which
would most please the lord of the lower realm, isn't it?"
"But Jean Paul did not really believe in such plans, did he?"
"No," I heard her answer with a sniffle.
"Jean Paul loved you very much."
"Yes. I believe... well, it's not even a matter of my belief. He vowed
the same."
"Do you remember when he first told you, at the festival in Montmartre?"
"Why... yes... that is when he first told me."
"Do you remember how he held your hand and touched his nose to yours?"
I heard a gasp in the adjacent box. I could roughly discern the changes
in her facial expression through the separating wire. Despair became
mixed with curiosity.
"He-he spoke of such an event to... to you?"
"No. Jean Paul Richard never spoke of your private bliss to anyone. It
is much too precious."
"But then how...?"
"He never spoke of how he first met you at that run down book store to
anyone."
"But..."
"He never spoke to anyone that he first kissed you on that bridge over
the Seine as the revelers were setting off fireworks and felt them
insubstantial compared to his own reactions to you. He never-"
"Wait! How do you know these things if Jean Paul never communicated
them to another soul?"
"There's a fitting answer, Marie."
"But there isn't! If Jean Paul told no one but you know then...!"
I saw her looking at me through the wire.
"Ask me any question that only he would know Marie and I will answer
it."
Marie asked not one, not two, but a half dozen questions of our words or
actions in moments of caress together. I answered them all. Finally, I
could see her staring agape at me through the wire. As simply and
calmly as I could, I recounted my metamorphosis. At the end of my tale,
Marie jumped from the confessional box and threw open the door to look
at me.
"But you are... you are as you sound!? You are a lovely, a very very
lovely young woman!"
"Yes," I answered and let my head fall. "As I told you, I am victim of
sorcery on the part of St. Germain, but I am Jean Paul Richard."
Marie hugged me and though in a sense it made my condition feel even
more shameful, at the same time it felt quite good to know that she
knew, that she did not think me dead.
Marie asked what I planned to do and I had to confess that I did not
know. Nothing prepared me to fight such circumstance. I realized that
I was probably seeming to have a feminine air of helplessness at one
point in describing my plight and laid out a largely fictitious plan for
observation of St. Germain. But I felt I had to. I realized that my
circumstance, after her initial joy that I was not dead, was
heartbreaking to her. It wounded her to see me undone this way.
We parted on a pledge to communicate through Louis but to remain apart
publicly while I tried to figure out how to remedy this ridiculous
condition.
It was about two weeks later that I experienced a curse within my curse.
The first sign was a bloated feeling in my abdomen and then the next
morning I was surprised at how tender my breasts were. It was slightly
painful to squeeze them into my corset as I dressed. But I thought no
more of it. I felt especially filled with despair at my situation that
day and only Louis's even keeled disposition kept wildly careening
emotions in check. Then, that afternoon, I was sitting on a divan in a
certain rich count's home. There were a score of us there viewing the
new paintings he had purchased in Florence, Milan and Turin. I suddenly
become aware of wetness beneath me.
"Ohhh."
I got to my feet as quickly as I could, constricted by my corset, and
saw two dark red spots on the upholstery.
"What is...?"
The nature of Louis's smile and then glance at my crotch alerted me to
the source of the stain. Louis discreetly got the ear of the countess
who I saw across the room directing one of her maids over to me.
"Please follow me, Milady," she said with a curtsy.
I made my way with even tinier steps than normal to an upstairs room
with a tub and basin.
"Please, take one of the countess's," said the maid handing me an oval
shaped piece of spongy material with strings affixed to both ends and
both of those lines tied to another string. The maid left and after a
minute I figured how to wear the sponge snugly at the appropriate spot
with strings front and back to another slung around my waist at my hip
bone. Oh ignominy. Once the young Marquis to be and now a coquette
having her monthly sanguinations so that I can be impregnated by some
young man!
My days went forward in a procession of languor. Occasionally I would
be able to pass a message to Marie via Louis and that would please me.
But I could not approach her openly as I thought this would arouse St.
Germain's suspicions. Louis tried to find out more about him and the
more he learned the more disconcertingly impervious to my plots of
revenge the man seemed. Through it all I went through the motions of
torpid aristocratic life as Nicole Richard, the daughter of a Marquis.
The near complete lack of activity on my part initially shocked me. I
didn't run. I didn't hike. I never did any physical activity. None.
I would have felt and looked ridiculous, lovely girl that I was, my ass
jiggling and breasts bouncing as I was doing those things but it was
still quite a change. Whether at some nobleman's estate, in his high
ceilinged drawing room, or in a garden out back amid intricate topiary,
at an opera house box or in a ballroom, I was an object to be viewed and
appreciated. At first