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I always hated being short; I'm eleven years old but I'm short for my age; actually, I'm short for several years younger than my age! When we play basketball in gym class, some of the guys like to joke around by lifting me up to make a shot. I laugh and pretend that it doesn't bother me but when I got home, I used to run to my room and cry. No matter how hard I tried, I just couldn't seem to fit in with the other boys. It wasn't too bad that I couldn't fit in at sports since I really don't have any interest in chasing balls around. I don't care if it's a baseball, basketball, football, or any other kind of ball, I didn't give a rat's backside about it. Why would anyone want to smack a ball and make other's chase it or see if they could toss it though a metal ring hanging so high that even when other guys lifted me, I had to throw the ball up instead of just dropping it into the basket? The girls at school didn't have to do stupid stuff like that; they got to do fun things like gymnastics and cheerleading. Sometimes they even got to do cool things like learning how to Square-dance or Ballroom Dancing. No one even bothered to ask me if I'd rather take Square-dance lessons instead of chasing a ball around a hot field on a sunny day. Mom knew how I felt and kept telling me that I'd start growing any day and then I'd be more interested in sports, but the days passed and I was still short and still thought that sports were boring. Dad told me that I should try to find something that interested me and that I might be good at. I couldn't tell him that being a Cheerleader seemed like fun or that taking girl's gymnastics would've made me happier than a pig in a mud puddle. Gymnastics' classes at my school were different for girls than for boys; the girls learned to tumble, to do handstands, and learning to walk on a balance beam. Guy's gymnastics meant pulling yourself up while you held onto two rings suspended from cables in the ceiling, or other things that meant you had to have a bundle of muscles that I just don't have or even want. I was fascinated by things that required gracefulness and coordination like the girls got to do. One afternoon I was watching a rerun of a silly show called "You Can't Do That On Television" and for some goofy reason the guys all got dressed like girls! It seemed crazy at first but the longer I watched, the more I liked seeing guys about my age wearing dresses! The taller guys looked strange but the shorter ones who were probably a little taller than me, looked pretty realistic, even with short hair. I thought about that show a lot. I probably thought about it way too much. A couple of weeks later, when Mom and dad were grocery shopping, I snuck into their room and looked around in Mom's closet and underwear drawers. I grabbed an old dress she didn't wear anymore, a slip, underwear, and a bra then ran back to my room, afraid that they might come home unexpectedly and catch me. I locked my door and sat down on my bed to catch my breath while checking out the clothes. I know it was a stupid thing to do but I couldn't help myself; I just had to put on those clothes! I was a nervous wreck as I pulled my shirt over my head, and then stepped out of my pants and underwear, and pulled on Mom's underwear. Since they were so big on me I ran back to her room, clutching them to keep them up, grabbed a couple of safety pins, and ran back to my room again. As I re- locked my door I felt a strange rush; it was so exciting to run around in Mom's underwear and risk getting caught! With my new underwear pinned to make them fit I put on my first bra. No matter how hard I tried though, I couldn't get the stupid thing hooked up while I was wearing it; I ended up taking it off, hooking it together, and then pulling it on over my head. That seemed like a lot of work but I couldn't exactly ask Mom to show me the right way to hook up a bra. I managed to get the slip and dress on but had to run to Mom's room again to get more pins since even Mom was taller than me and the slip was way too long and stuck out from the bottom of the dress. I carefully unlocked my door and listened to see if my parents had gotten home yet. When I thought it was safe, I ran to Mom's dresser and grabbed a fistful of safety pins so I wouldn't have to make another trip. I was ready to run back again but since no one was home, I walked back real slowly so I could enjoy the feeling of being scared to death a little longer! Once I got everything pinned up, I decided to go back to Mom's room to see how I looked in her full-length mirror. It felt so scary to walk down the hall to my parent's room; I took my time and it was sort of like watching a scary movie when you know the monster can't possibly get to you. I hoped they'd take their time shopping; maybe I could go downstairs for a while or maybe even open the front door and get the mail? When I looked in the mirror, I saw what looked like a shorthaired little girl playing dress-up in her Mom's clothes. The dress was too big; the straps of her bra and slip were showing and a little bit of her slip stuck out from the bottom of her dress. She didn't seem to care though, she just kept laughing and twirling and having the time of her life! For once, the world seemed right to me. I was a girl who could learn to dance, or lead cheers at a football game, or twirl a baton in a parade. Instead of getting smashed by a guy twice my size simply because I had a football in my hands, I was on the sidelines in a cheerleader's uniform, getting the crowd all worked up for guys who enjoyed getting knocked down for no good reason. I spent almost ten minutes pretending I was a grown lady getting ready to go on a date; I even put on some of Mom's lipstick, a pair of her high heels, and brushed my hair to make bangs like I saw on girls at school. When I was done, I slowly walked back to my bathroom and wiped the lipstick off. I locked my door and then spent the rest of the time watching TV until my parent's got back. As soon as I heard their car in the driveway, I peeled off the dress and hid it in the back of my closet. I hid the panties and the slip under my mattress so I could get to them without digging through my closet and making a racket. I put my old clothes back on, and went to help unload groceries, scared that somehow my parents would know that I had tried on Mom's clothes. I was so worried that I promised myself that I'd never do anything that stupid again yet the very next Saturday I was wearing the bra, slip, and panties (I saw an ad for ladies underwear and that's what they called them), and digging the dress out of my closet as soon as my parent's car left the driveway. This time, I pinned the slip up a little bit more and pushed the straps as far under the dress as I could without having them fall down my arms. When I was all dressed, I calmly walked over to Mom's room and put on a pair of her heels, and some lipstick. I really, really, wanted to spray on some perfume but I was afraid that Mom and dad would smell it when they came home; I know I can smell it on Mom long after she comes home from work. Mom and dad had told me that they had a lot of shopping to do, groceries and stuff from a home improvement store, so I knew I'd have lots of time to play dress-up. I tried on a bunch of Mom's stuff; a couple of dresses, some skirts, a few of her nightgowns, and just about all of her lingerie (another word I learned from a newspaper advertisement). I wished that I had some pretty clothes that fit me but still it was so cool to dress up in Mom's stuff. I was having a great time trying on different things and even got to use more of Mom's makeup. I remembered how Mom would sometimes use different colored lipstick with different clothes so whenever I changed into a different dress; I changed the color of lipstick I wore too. It was totally great to be able to put on a pink blouse and then find lipstick that looked good with it; normally I'd just throw on jeans, a jersey, and comb my hair, which seemed like so boring after raiding Mom's closet. Of course, by the time Mom and dad got back I was in my jeans and jersey, my hair combed and Mom's clothes put away except for the dress in my closet and the lingerie (I like the sound of that word, it's way nicer than saying "Underwear".) under my mattress. Sure, I worried that they'd be able to just look at me and know what I'd been doing but you know what, that just made it more fun! After a couple of times I realized that not only had I found a new way to have fun when no one was home but that it was so much fun that I couldn't stop. I might be able to go for a couple of weeks without dressing up in Mom's stuff but suddenly I would just have to wear something, even if it was my favorite pair of panties from under my mattress. I'd take my shower and get ready for bed but as soon as Mom and dad thought that I had gone to sleep, I'd quickly slip out of my underwear and into my panties. I got stabbed by the safety pin once or twice when I'd roll over but it was worth it to wear such pretty panties! I even wore my panties to school a couple of times when I didn't have gym; it was so scary in fun sort of way to think that someone might see the funny looking waistband peeking out from my pants. I'm sure that if anyone ever found out that I was wearing panties they'd call me all kinds of names and make fun of me but it didn't matter; somehow, I just had to wear them. After I'd been playing dress-up for a couple of weeks I started looking at girls and wondering what they were wearing. A lot of guys would see a girl and say things like "I'll bet she's not wearing any underwear," or "She's wearing a thong," but I'd wonder how the blouse a girl was wearing would look and feel if I wore it or what it would be like to wear a skirt and stockings to school like the girls did for special occasions like class picture day.. One Saturday I was playing dress-up again and I thought about wearing stockings. I found a pair in Mom's drawer that looked like long underwear so I sat down on her bed and carefully pulled them on. "Wow, they sure feel nice," I thought when I rubbed my legs together. I put on one of Mom's prettiest slips, a blue dress with gold buttons and a pair of blue heels that she always wore with that dress. When I was all dressed, I sat down at Mom's vanity just like she always did and put on lipstick, makeup, and eye-shadow. I didn't really know what I was doing when it came to putting on makeup and so it never worked out right but I still enjoyed doing it. It made me feel more like a grown up lady instead of a little girl. Something seemed to change in me when I played dress-up; I sort of like started to think of myself as a girl. Not as an eleven year old girl though but more like a little girl, maybe about seven or eight years old. I'd put on Mommy's pretty clothes and shoes, lipstick and makeup, and I'd pretend that I was Mommy making dinner for daddy or cleaning the house. Nothing was as much fun to me as pretending to be a little girl playing dress-up. One day when I was walking home after school I saw that a Goodwill box that I always passed was overflowing and someone had left bags of clothes on the sidewalk next to it. At first I couldn't tell what was in the bags except that they were in lots of pretty colors. I looked all around to make sure no one saw me, and then slowly walked close enough to the collection box and the bags. After walking past it a couple of times to make sure it was safe, I quickly opened a bag and saw that it was filled with girl's clothes! Not just girl's clothes, but stuff for a little girl; maybe about the same size as me. I looked around pretty carefully cause I didn't want anyone to see me rooting through a bunch of girl's stuff. When I was sure it was okay, I pulled some stuff out. There were a couple of dresses, two slips, different colored panties with the days of the week on them, some socks with lace cuffs, two pairs of shoes, and even a majorette costume. Finding all of this was just about as good as getting an A for a surprise test in History class! I wasn't sure any of the stuff would fit, but Mom and dad wouldn't be home before me and if I didn't grab it now there might not be another chance. I grabbed the bag and ran home as fast as I could. Once in my room, I locked the door and dumped the bag out on my bed with one hand while I was pulling off my clothes with the other hand. My heart was pounding and my little friend was getting very excited as I chose the Thursday panties and stepped into them. I got them all the way up and couldn't believe it ? they were a perfect fit! They felt so nice and silky, just like Mom's panties, and they fit perfectly! Well, almost perfectly; there was a bulge in the front that just wouldn't go away. The slip came next; it was silky and looked so pretty with just a little bit of lace at the top and bottom. It wasn't anywhere near as long as Mom's and didn't peek out from the bottom of the green and yellow plaid dress I decided to wear. I smoothed the back of my dress as I sat down to put on my new shoes and socks; I don't know why I did it but all the girls at school did it when they wore dresses, so since I was a girl I had to do it too. I picked a pair of yellow socks with a band of lace around them, pulled them up and turned the top down to show off the lace then stepped into a pair of shiny white shoes that buckled across the top of my foot. I didn't have a whole lot of time before Mom and dad would get home but I just had to run over to their room and see how I looked. My new clothes looked so much nicer than Mom's clothes; I wasn't a little boy playing dress-up in Mom's clothes anymore, I felt like a real little girl! I twirled and twirled, loving the way my dress would flare out and show off my pretty slip. If I twirled fast enough, I could even see my panties! I heard my parent's car in the driveway so I hurried back to my room to change and carefully hide everything so no one could find my new clothes. It feels so nice to know that I have my very own dresses and stuff; when I want to look pretty I don't have to borrow Mom's clothe, I can wear my own. I left my new panties on, they felt so nice and I didn't have to worry about getting stuck by pins, changed back into my boy clothes and started my homework. Of course I dressed up every single chance I had; including wearing panties to school when I wouldn't have gym class. I felt so relaxed and comfortable when I was all dressed up; I wasn't a sad excuse for a boy anymore, I was a pretty little girl. Since I was a little girl I didn't have to play sports, I could play hopscotch, or jacks, or play house, or baby dolls with other little girls. No doubt about it, being a girl was way better than being a boy! Month after month went by and with time I got better and better at making myself look like a girl. I watched other little girls and remembered how they looked; ribbons and stuff in their hair, what kind of dresses they wore, how they talked, and how they acted so that I could do everything just like any other little girl. I practiced all the time until I thought I could even do something like go to the park and play with other girls and no one would notice. Halloween was a month away when Mom told me that she wanted me to do something different this time. "Let's see." She smiled and ran her fingers through my hair. "You've been a Pirate, a Zombie, a Vampire, a Cowboy, and Darth Vader, how about trying something different for me?" "Sure, how about I go out as a Fireman? I could carry dad's axe and cover my face with black stuff to make it look like I just put out a fire." "I was thinking of something else, something you'd never think of but would be a great costume." She had a funny smile on her face that told me she was going to suggest something weird like pretending to be a Great Dane or something like that. "I don't want to be a dog, or half a horse, or any other animal, okay?" I figured that I'd put my foot down right away before she got too far into her plan. "No animals, I promise," she swore. "But this would mean so much to me and I'll bet that you'll get plenty of candy too." No animals, it would make Mom happy, and I'd get plenty of candy? I didn't see any way that I could lose. "You've got a deal," I agreed. "What am I going to be?" "A little girl." Mom grinned and I suddenly wondered if she could read minds. She was smiling as if she'd just pulled off the best joke anyone had ever played. "No way!" I insisted; afraid to give in to my dreams. "I'm not going to be some sissy." "It's Halloween honey," Mom insisted right back. "You won't be the first boy to ever pretend to be a girl for Trick or Treating. It would really mean a lot to me; every mother wants to have a daughter, you can be my little girl for one night, can't you? Please?" I didn't want to give in too easily; Mom might think it was strange if I did. Of course I didn't want to put up too much of a fight; she might give in and I'd lose the chance to become a little girl, if only for a day. "What would I have to do?" Mom grabbed me and gave me a gigantic hug. "You're a great kid." She almost had tears running down her cheeks. "I can't wait to see how cute you're going to be!" "I'm not agreeing yet Mom." I had to keep putting up a little fight. "You haven't told me what I have to do." "You just have to let me dress you up and make you look like a pretty little girl, that's all." Mom shrugged as if it was nothing at all to dress her son like a girl. "We'll go to a party for dad's company and the next day you can go trick or treating around the neighborhood." "Dad will have a baby!" I blurted out, making it seem like I didn't mind dressing up but that dad wouldn't like it. "I've already gotten him to agree." Mom smiled, removing my best objection. "He thinks you'll look cute too." "I don't have much choice, do I?" I hoped not but I had to make one last try at getting out of it. "Of course you have a choice Eddie," Mom said sadly. "I was just hoping you'd do me a favor; tell me what you'd rather be and I'll get the costume for you." I couldn't turn Mom down, it seemed to mean so much to her and it would give me a chance to dress up without getting any flack. "No one will laugh at me and dad won't have a baby, right?" I was looking for a way to say yes without seeming too happy about it. "No one's going to laugh and if dad has a baby we'll go on all the talk shows," Mom grinned. "Labor won't be easy but the money from talk shows, the book deal, and movie rights will ease his pain." "It would certainly be an historic event!" I agreed, feeling better now that Mom was smiling again. Mom gave me another bone snapping hug. "We'll go shopping this weekend for outfits," she explained. "We have a lot to do to make a pretty little girl out of you!" I was pretty sure it wasn't going to be all that hard but I thought it would be best to let Mom go on thinking that way. "You said outfits." I cocked an eyebrow, hoping to appear confused. "That's plural. Why do I need more than one?" "I want everyone to gush over my little girl," Mom explained breathlessly. "She's going to be the most adorable, sweetest, little girl ever!" "Why do I have to be a little girl?" I asked. I wasn't really complaining, I just wanted to hear Mom's explanation. Mom shook her head nervously. "I'm sorry; I just thought that being a little short you'd be perfect as a young girl." "How young do I have to be?" I worried that I was starting to seem too interested; my little friend was getting stiffer by the minute, but I just had to get more details. "I was thinking maybe eight?" Mom bit her lip maybe expecting me to scream and carry on. "So I'm going to be an eight year old Barbie doll, is that about right?" I could see her tensing up, waiting for an outburst. After all, what eleven year old boy wants to be all dolled up like an eight year old little girl? I mean besides me? "I suppose you could say that." "You still haven't explained why I'll need more than one outfit," I asked. "Am I going to have to wear a different outfit for dad's party than for Trick or Treating?" "Uh, well, I sort of thought that we'd spend a little time getting used to being a Barbie Doll as you put it. That way you'll be all set to impress everyone at the party." I don't know how she missed the sound of my heart pounding; it seemed so loud I thought I'd have to shout to be heard. "You want me to spend a whole month pretending to be an eight year old girl just for a party?" Mom sighed and nervously shuffled her feet. "No, it's not just for the party," she answered after a long pause. "I'm being selfish; I'd like to have a daughter for a little while so I made up the part of your needing to get used to it. I'm sorry; we'll get something for you when we're ready for the party." "This must be awfully important to you." I smiled which seemed to help. "Does dad know what you had in mind?" "Your dad and I don't keep secrets honey, a couple that does that can't survive." "So dad knows you want to turn me into a little girl for a month and he doesn't mind?" "He thought it was a bit unusual but he said it would be have to be your decision." "You don't expect me to go to school that way I hope?" "Absolutely not." Mom made a cross you heart gesture. "I promise that no one will know but us." "I only have to dress up around the house, right?" "No, I'd like to take you on some Mother-Daughter outings if you don't mind. I'll make sure that no one knows you're a boy." "What kind of outings are you talking about?" I tried to act very calm even though my heart was pounding and my little friend needed some relief. "Shopping trips, movies, dinner with your daddy, things like that," she explained, grinning like mad. "You really think it's possible? No one's going to point at me and laugh?" "When I'm done, you'll be all sugar and spice, the kind of daughter mothers dream about!" Between her enthusiasm and my excitement over a dream come true, I couldn't drag it out any longer! "You've got yourself a daughter." I smiled, wondering if she picked up on the fact that I didn't say anything about for how long I was willing to be her daughter. "Hey, go easy on the hugs!" I laughed as she squeezed the breath out of me. "I'm just a delicate little girl, remember?" "Yes, a sweet, delicate, lovely little girl whom I love very much!" she said as she showered me with kisses. Two days later it was a bright, sunny Saturday morning and I was standing in front of Mom wearing a pair of silky blue panties with the Little Mermaid on them, a matching blue Tee shirt with a pink bow in the center of the neck opening, waiting patiently while Mom unpacked some things, and removed the tags from a brown dress. "Arms up sweetie." Mom laughed as she bunched up the slip to slide it over my head. I shivered in delight as the slip flowed over my chest and settled on my knees. "Are you cold honey?" Mom asked. "I bought a robe you could wear." "No thanks, I'll be okay." I didn't want to explain how good it felt to be dressed this way. "I'll have you all dressed in a jiffy," Mom promised as she adjusted the straps on my slip. "You might like wearing half slips later on; I just wanted to sort of overwhelm you with girlie stuff right now." "Sorry, but I don't exactly feel overwhelmed," I shrugged as I raised my arms to let her put the jumper over my head. "That's okay Libby, you will, believe me, you will!" She laughed as she tugged the dress down. "Who's Libby?" I had to concentrate to over come the wonderful feeling of wearing all these pretty clothes. "Daddy and I planned on having two children, a boy we'd name Edward and a girl we'd name Elizabeth Marie, Libby for short. After you were born, we found out that having any more children could kill me so we never had the daughter we hoped for." I felt so bad for Mom and dad; their dream of having a son and a daughter were taken away from them. It was selfish of me to only be concerned about how nice it felt to dress up like this; I would be the best little girl ever just so they could have the daughter they always wanted! I threw my hands around Mom's neck and gave her a big hug and kiss. "What was that for?" Mom asked in surprise; I hadn't been very affectionate in years. "I just wanted to show you how much I love my Mommy!" I told her. "Thank you for buying me all these pretty clothes." Mom suddenly burst into tears. "What's wrong Mommy?" I asked, forgetting to revert back to boy speech. "Please don't cry." "Everything's okay Libby." She wiped her tears and pulled me close. "I'm just so happy that you agreed to do this; daddy and I were afraid that you might think it was too weird." "It's not something I'd brag about," I teased after giving her another hug and kiss. "But if it will make you and daddy happy, I'll be the best little girl in the whole world cause I've got the best Mommy and daddy ever!" I brushed my skirt under me and sat down on the bed so I could put on my new socks. "Why did you do that?" Mommy asked. Oops, I forgot that I wasn't supposed to know how to act like a girl. "Do what Mommy?" I asked sweetly. "You smoothed out your skirt when you sat down." "I see girls do it all the time," I explained, hoping she'd but my reasoning. "I don't know why they do it but I thought it was something I was supposed to do since I'm a girl now." "You are such a smart girl Libby!" Mom said proudly. "You should do that whenever you're wearing a dress; it keeps it from getting all wrinkled when you sit down. You have to be a lot more careful when you're a girl but I'll teach you everything you need to know." "Thank you Mommy," I smiled. This was going to be so wonderful! I put on a pair of black shoes that buckled like the ones I kept in my closet. Mom said they were called Mary Jane's and were made just so little girls could look pretty. I certainly felt very pretty now that I was all dressed up and wearing such nice shoes. "Now for the finishing touch," Mom announced as she pulled a long, blonde wig out of a box. "I hope you don't mind my being selfish again, I wanted my daughter to have the same color hair as mine and the same style I had when I was your age." "I don't mind Mommy, it's very pretty." I felt like a princess as she pinned the wig into my hair to hold it in place and then tied a long white ribbon into a bow so that the ends hung down on either side of my head. When Mommy took me over to the mirror I always used when I played dress-up, I saw the prettiest little girl staring back at me. "I look like a pretty girl!" I said in amazement. "I'm so pretty!" "You certainly are Libby," Mom agreed. "Are you ready for your daddy to meet his new little girl?" I smiled up at Mommy and took her hand. "Okay Mommy, I hope he likes me." "He'll love you to pieces Libby; now, do you know how to skip?" Off we went for daddy to meet his new little girl; Mommy seemed so happy and so was I as I held her hand and skipped. "Was I right?" Mom asked as soon as daddy caught sight of me. "Isn't she just the most precious little miss?" "Oh my God!" Daddy exclaimed. "She looks just like you did in those pictures from when you were a little girl." "Libby and I are going shopping for some new clothes," Mommy explained as she gave daddy a kiss. "Our beautiful little princess needs a new wardrobe; I promised to make her feel very girly!" "Are you sure you're okay with this Eddie?" Daddy asked in concern. "Mommy will be taking you where no one will know you, but I don't want you to do something that upsets you." Daddy was so sweet; I couldn't resist showing him how much I loved him so I skipped over and standing on tiptoe, gave him a big hug and kiss just like I had given Mommy. "Eddie's a boy's name, my name's Libby," I insisted. "I can't wait to go shopping with Mommy and buy lots of pretty clothes." Daddy pulled me into his arms and hugged me. I quit hugging him years ago but until now, I had no idea what I was missing. "Thank you Libby," he nodded. "You have no idea how much this means to your mother and I. Now you girls have a good time shopping." Mommy handed me a purse of my own with a change purse, tissues, and cologne for little girls. I took her hand and skipped out to the garage, turning to wave goodbye to daddy before getting in the car. I wondered if I was really just dreaming this whole thing. Did my mother really ask me to dress up and pretend to be a little girl? Did she really say that she was going to overwhelm me with girlie stuff? Was it possible that I skipped into a room, wearing a dress, looking like a little girl, and my father not only didn't mind, he seemed thrilled to see me that way? I remember giving him a hug and a kiss and insisting that I was a girl named Libby and not a boy named Eddie. I'm sitting in a car, looking like a little heartbreaker, headed for a shopping trip to buy me more girl's clothes to wear. I couldn't resist, I reached down and pinched my leg. Crap. That hurt! Wow, this wasn't a dream! I really am wearing girl's clothes and going shopping with my mother. I really did agree to be the perfect daughter for Mommy and daddy for a whole month. I wonder if there's any way I could get them to let Libby stick around after Halloween. I was lost in a fantasy world of pretty dresses, silky underwear, baby dolls, and everything girly. I wanted to wear silky panties with pretty decorations on them, to be able to skip and jump rope instead of playing sports that I sucked at and had no interest in. I wanted people to look at me and tell Mommy how pretty I was and how I was such a darling little lady. Mommy could dress me up in the girliest clothes and I wouldn't mind a bit; I'd never be a tomboy, I'd always be a perfect young lady. Mom must've noticed my trance. "A penny for your thoughts Libby." "I was just, uh, just worried that people will laugh at me." What did you expect; I couldn't share my deepest fantasy. "Don't worry Libby; you're doing a great job of pretending. Remember how daddy acted when he first saw you?" Mom asked in a gentle voice. "Your father knows that you're really an eleven year old boy but I'm willing to be that no one could have convinced him that you were his son. Especially not after you hugged and kissed him." I felt a warm glow inside of me as I thought back to how great it felt to give daddy a hug and kiss. "I liked hugging and kissing daddy," I said dreamily. "It feels so nice." "Don't you like hugging and kissing me too?" She pretended to be upset. "Of course I do Mommy," I laughed, giving myself over completely to being Libby. "I love you and daddy so much!" Mommy looked at me and tears started to trickle down her cheek. "If this is a dream, I hope I never wake up." She said softly as she dabbed her eyes with tissue. "When we get to the mall, I want you to be a good girl and hold my hand, okay?" she asked. "Okay Mommy, should I skip too?" I so wanted to hold her hand and skip; it made me feel so much like a little girl! "That sounds like a good idea Libby dear; only a girl would skip while holding her mother's hand." "It was kind of fun doing that at home," I admitted hoping she'd understand. "Being a little girl can be tons of fun," Mom quickly agreed. "You can wear pretty dresses, skip whenever you feel like it, be a Mommy for your baby dolls, play dress-up, or play Barbies with your girlfriends." "I'm kind of afraid; I don't know how to be a little girl Mommy," I whimpered as we pulled into the mall parking lot. "You're doing fine Libby." She smiled and adjusted the ribbon in my hair. "Just relax and I'll bet you'll have so much fun you'll forget all about a boy named Eddie." Mommy took my hand and gave me some pointers as we walked toward the mall. I shouldn't run, shouldn't order triple cheeseburgers at the food court, stay with her at all times, smooth my skirt when I sat down and stood up, and most important of all I had to remember to sit down when I went to the bathroom. Our first stop was the girls department of a major department store. Mommy picked out several plain looking dresses like the ones I got from the Goodwill box and took me into the dressing room to try them on. It was very exciting to be in the girl's dressing room trying on dresses, but why did Mommy have to choose such plain looking ones? I thought she wanted me to feel all girly. I tried on about a dozen dresses, casual outfits Mom called them, and six or seven pairs of girl's pants to play in. I didn't mind the dresses but what why would I need pants? I helped Mommy pick out four new dresses, three pairs of pants, and a couple of tops. No boy in his right mind would wear the pants; one pair was pink, another had a unicorn and sparkles on the back pocket, and the third pair had lace ruffles on the cuffs, but they were still pants! I'd been wearing nothing but pants for as long as I could remember and now I wanted dresses! Mommy paid for my new clothes and we walked back to put them in the trunk of our car. I was starting to worry that I was going to be stuck with the clothes we'd just bought and not get anything really pretty. "Are we all done now Mommy?" I asked. "My dresses are very nice; I can't wait to wear them." Mom gave me a devilish grin. "Done? Oh goodness no Libby. We're just getting started; remember you promised that I could buy you lots of pretty clothes didn't you?" "Uh huh, but we already did." "No Libby dear, we have not yet begun to shop!" I hope that I was able to conceal my excitement; especially when we got to the shop that promised to make every girl feel like a princess! The store was a dream come true; rack after rack of the prettiest dresses imaginable! Nothing like the ones we had just bought, all these dresses were the kind that little girls wore when their Mommies wanted them to look their best for special occasions. I hesitated for a second as we entered the shop and I saw Heaven open up in front of me. "Is something wrong Libby?" Mommy asked. "Are you sure about this Mommy?" I whispered. "I mean, do you really want me to be a girl this badly?" "Yes Libby, I certainly do," she whispered back. "Daddy told me that if you agreed to this, he wanted you to look especially pretty so that he can take us girls out and show everyone how lucky he is to have such pretty ladies for a wife and daughter." I pictured Mommy in a pretty dress, her hair all done up, and holding daddy's arm as we walked into a fancy restaurant. I would be on the other side, wearing one of these beautiful dresses, frilly lingerie underneath, a pair of socks with the lace trim, and Mary Jane's on my feet. As we passed on the way to our table, people would stop talking and stare at us. The women would be so jealous of Mommy for looking so beautiful and want to rush home to buy their little girls pretty dresses like mine. The men would be jealous of daddy; they'd wish they could be having dinner with two such beautiful ladies as Mommy and me. The waiter would hold my chair; I'd carefully brush my skirt, sit down, and fold my hands in my lap like a perfect little lady. Daddy would hold Mommy's chair and she'd smile and sit down like the graceful lady she was. The women would all whisper to each other that it was so nice to see a mother who had taught her daughter all the skills that would allow her to be as graceful as she would be beautiful when she grew up! I got so worked up over seeing so many pretty dresses that I completely lost control, rushed over to a rack of dresses, pulled out a pink one with sheer puffy sleeves and a sash and begged Mommy to buy it for me! "Please, please buy me this dress Mommy!" I begged. "It's so pretty." Mom's face lit up as if someone stuck a light bulb inside her head. She hurried over, took the dress and held it against me. "It's a little small for you Libby; let's see if we can't find a bigger size. Look at the rings on the racks and find one that has an 11 on it, okay?" I rushed around until I found a rack with an 11 on it and called for Mommy to hurry over. "Here it is Mommy, is this the right size?" I asked as I pulled out the dress I wanted. Mommy held it against me and smiled. "I think it's just right, are there any other ones you'd like?" I was in a store filled with the most beautiful outfits a girl could ever hope to wear and Mommy wanted to know if there were any other dresses she could buy for me? I didn't need to be asked twice, I grabbed her hand and we were off to turn me into the girliest girl imaginable! Mommy was thrilled to help me pick out dresses; we finally decided on twelve of the prettiest dresses in the world and took them into the dressing room. Naturally I had to try the pink one on first; it was the first one I had fallen in love with so it just had to be the first I tried on! Mommy carefully helped me out of my jumper and top and I stood perfectly still, eyes closed, holding my breath, as she lowered the dress over my head. "Open your eyes now Libby," I heard Mommy say after she buttoned up the dress and tied the sash. "Open your eyes and see what a beautiful girl you really are." When I opened my eyes I gasped. When I had played dress-up, I used to imagine that I was a pretty girl wearing just such a dress. Now it was real; I was standing in a dressing room wearing an ultra girly dress and Mommy was going to buy it for me! "You're going to need a few petticoats if you're going to wear that kind of dress honey," Mommy said as she fluffed out my skirt (It feels soooo nice to call it my skirt!). "What's a petticoat Mommy?" I asked as I twirled to make my skirt stick out. "A petticoat is a special slip for dresses with full skirts like these. It has several layers which make the skirt stick out and away from your body. They're very pretty and every little girl needs at least one for her best dresses." I was on cloud nine listening to Mommy tell me how she was going to buy me petticoats that would make my dresses stick out, and matching panties with lace ruffles on the bum so that I'd look and feel extra pretty. "Promise me that you won't be a tomboy," Mom begged. "I want my daughter to be a little lady in pretty dresses and hair ribbons. I'll buy you the prettiest outfits if you'll just promise to wear them." "I promise Mommy," I was nearly in tears myself. "I'll never be a tomboy; I love pretty dresses like this one!" "Some girls think it's too much trouble to get dressed up; you have to behave and act like a young lady at all times." Mommy told me. "Would you like to be a young lady for me and daddy?" "Yes Mommy, I'll listen to everything you tell me and I'll make you and daddy proud of me." "Good girl!" Mommy gave me a kiss and hug. "Let's get you out of that dress; we have a lot more to try on!" It took over an hour for me to try on every dress we had chosen; no girl could ever have been happier than I was. I had promised Mommy that I'd never be a tomboy and I meant it; why would I ever want to wear pants when I could wear such pretty dresses? Mommy and I went from store to store, buying pretty outfits for me and things like nightgowns with puppies and kittens on them, hair brushes, ribbons and barrettes, some sneakers (pink with sparkles), and even some baby dolls and a set of Barbie dolls and clothes for them. I wasn't sure how to play with dolls but Mommy promised that she'd teach me and that it would lots of fun. It took four trips to bring in all of the packages when we finally got home. Daddy helped out a lot so I could run to my room and change into the pink party dress Mommy had bought me; he insisted on seeing this beautiful little girl that Mommy had told him about! Mommy helped me out of my outfit and gave me a pair of pink, ruffled panties to wear. I pulled the panties on quickly hoping that Mommy wouldn't notice that my little friend was getting bigger. Next came a silky pink T shirt with thin straps (Mommy called it a Camisole) and then my new petticoat. The feeling of my panties, camisole, and petticoat against my body was nearly too much to handle; I forced myself to concentrate on things I was learning in Geography class to keep from making a mess in my panties. Mommy undid the buttons and tied the sash into a big bow; my petticoat was making my skirt stick out way farther than any other dress I ever wore and I loved it! I knew that I couldn't reach the buttons to take the dress off without help but who cared, I didn't have to worry about getting caught playing dress-up, I was a little girl now and it was okay for me to wear pretty dresses! Mommy brushed my wig and switched a pink ribbon for the red one I was wearing. "Girls like to match the color of things like their shoes, purses, or for younger girls, hair ribbons to the color of their dress." Mommy told me as I carefully sat down to put on my socks and shoes. "Your hair ribbon and shoes will be pink, just like your dress. Your socks will be white so that they stand out, but the lace collar on them will be pink." It felt so nice to be a girl; everything felt so silky, my panties, petticoat, and even my socks felt silky on my feet. I just had to convince Mommy and daddy to let me be a girl after this month was over; I couldn't imagine going back to wearing dull, scratchy, boy's clothes ever again. I'd promise to be a good girl; they'd never have to worry about me being a tomboy. I'd let Mommy buy me pretty dresses and lingerie, I'd let my hair grow long and brush it to keep it shiny and pretty, and when I grew up, I'd be a lady just like Mommy! Mommy sprayed some cologne on me to make me smell nice and after giving her a kiss I skipped to the living room to show off my new dress for daddy. "You look beautiful Elizabeth," Daddy whistled as he shook his head "How come you called me Elizabeth instead of Libby?" I asked. My parents usually only called me Edward when they were mad at me. "Are you mad at me daddy, don't you want me to be a girl?" Daddy quickly swept me into his arms and held me tight. "I'm not mad at you sweetheart, I only called you Elizabeth because you look like a beautiful young lady instead of just a little girl. Your Mom thought being a girl for Halloween would be something different; things sort of snowballed from there. I don't mind you being a girl if it's okay with you; Mommy and I want you to be happy though." I climbed onto his lap, fixed my skirt and petticoat just like Mommy had taught me to, and threw my arms around his neck. "I'm happy daddy, really I am. I love my pretty new clothes and I promise to be a very good girl for you and Mommy!" It was the first time I ever saw my father cry. Daddy was so impressed with me that he insisted on taking Mommy and I to dinner so he could show us off. Mommy pulled me along to her room, saying that we had to hurry and get ready for our date with daddy. "But I'm already dressed Mommy," I was protesting more to avoid being dragged into her room where she'd be changing clothes. I wasn't feeling like enough of a girl to see my Mom dressing just yet. "Libby, a woman is never already dressed for an important date with such a handsome man." She told me as she pulled me into her room. "We have important decisions to make; what dress to wear, do we want heels or not, stockings or pantyhose, how should we do our hair, and just scads of other things!" I realized that Mommy was opening up a whole new world to me; she was taking me by my hand and leading me to girlhood. If I was ever going to become a real girl I should know all of this stuff. I smiled sweetly and watched as she stripped off her clothes. "First, we'll have to shower; a hot bubble bath would be great but we don't have time for that." "Now, the bra and panties I have on are made of cotton. They're just fine for everyday things like our shopping trip but for a big date with a wonderful guy like your daddy, I want to feel extra pretty and feminine so I'll wear this satin bra and panty set with a matching slip." To my surprise, she stripped off her bra and panties and began undressing me. I was thrilled that she was willing to treat me as if I was a real girl! I ended up taking a shower with Mom and listening to her explain some of the mysteries of being a woman. When we were done, we were nice and clean, smelled like a bouquet of flowers, and I knew there was so much more to being a girl than I ever imagined. Mommy powdered me all over with a nice smelling powder puff then we both started to dress again. I pulled on my own panties, camisole, petticoat, and socks, and then watched as Mommy put on her matching panties, bra, and slip. "What's that Mommy?" I asked as she fastened something that looked like bottomless panties with straps around her waist. "It's called a garter belt honey," She smiled as she carefully rolled up what seemed like pantyhose with the panty and clipped them to it. "When ladies want to feel extra special, we wear stockings and attach them to the garter belt to hold them up." Mommy let me feel how silky the stockings felt. "Can I wear stockings too Mommy?" I asked hopefully. "Sorry honey, stockings and garter belts are not for little girls. When you're a teenager, I'll buy you your very first garter belt and stockings; you'll love the way they make you feel so sexy and feminine!" She realized what she had said and quickly apologized. I wish I could have told her that I couldn't wait for that day to come! "Even though you're still a little girl, it's important to feel feminine," Mommy told me as she buttoned up my dress. "Wearing pretty clothes and lingerie helps women feel that way. Men love to be around feminine women, it makes them feel very strong which is important to a man. Anything that makes daddy feel good is very important to me since I love him so much." "Is feminine what I'm feeling Mommy?" I asked as I ran my hands over my skirt. "I felt all funny inside when I first saw this dress in the store; I felt it a little bit when I first got dressed up as Libby and it feels really, really good to be all dressed up." "That sounds like you feel very feminine Libby dear," Mommy told me as I zipped up her dress. "You're going to have a wonderful time as a girl if you don't mind feeling that way." "I don't mind Mommy," I confessed. "I thought that maybe I would, but now I think that being a girl will be lots and lots of fun!" "We're ready for our big date, daddy!" I called out as I came skipping into the room. "You look very handsome!" Daddy grabbed me and swung me around causing my skirt to flare out. "Put me down Daddy, you're going to mess up my dress and then we'll have to wait while I find another one to wear!" I scolded. "How did you do it?" He asked Mom after quickly setting me back on my feet. "You turned my beautiful princess into a wife!" "You're silly daddy," I laughed. "I'm not a wife, I just don't want to miss dinner with the handsome man Mommy's been talking about!" "You certainly are a real charmer," Daddy laughed. "And just what has Mommy been saying about this handsome man?" "Well, she said that he's the most handsome man she's ever met, he's very sweet, and that she's madly in love with him!" "I'll have to take you ladies out more often!" he teased. "You smell very nice Elizabeth; may I call you that since you are such a beautiful lady?" I couldn't keep from blushing over his compliments. "Thank you, Mommy and I took our shower and she put some yummy smelling powder on me." "You took a shower with Mommy?" he asked, surprised. "Why not?" Mommy asked. "She had to get ready too and we didn't have time for a bubble bath." That seemed to settle the question, Mommy seemed to be telling daddy that she planned to consider me to be her daughter and we were going to do things together as two females! If this kept up, it would be easy to stay as a girl forever. Mommy and I took our purses and waited for daddy to open the door for us; being a girl was so nice! Everyone did stare as we walked to our seats but unfortunately, no one stopped talking or seemed awed by us. Daddy held Mommy's chair and the waiter held mine for me. I set my little purse on the table just like Mom, smiled at the nice waiter, and sat down like a perfect little lady. Mom caught my eye and smiled, pleased that I was acting so nicely. Mommy told daddy what to order for her then motioned for me to do the same. "Ladies let the gentleman order for them," she winked. "Men like to think that they're in charge." "Do you have to tell her stuff like that?" Daddy laughed. "I was hoping that my princess would be spared all of that nonsense." "Your princess needs to know how to wrap a man around her little finger," Mommy laughed. "I have to teach her all of the secrets that mothers have been passing down to their daughters for generations." "All a princess as lovely as Elizabeth needs to do is smile," He shook his head. "Men will hurry to wrap themselves around her little finger." Dinner was beyond belief; the food was delicious but being treated as a young woman by daddy was even more delicious. I loved each and every one of his many compliments about what a beautiful and charming young lady I was. One day as a girl and I knew that I never wanted to be a boy again. Later that night Mommy let me experience something every girl loves ? a hot bubble bath! She filled my bathtub up with hot water that was just loaded with bubbles and smiled knowingly as I sank into one of the most wonderfully feminine experiences ever. As I soaked she sat nearby and continued teaching me the things she felt I needed to know to be a girl. I couldn't wear party dresses every day no matter how much I wanted to. There may be times when it would just make sense to wear pants but that didn't mean that I'd be any less of a girl. A girl had so many choices when she chose outfits that just weren't available to boys. "For example, you may need to wear pants, even jeans for some reason when you'd rather wear a pretty dress. You could choose a pair of pants that are a pretty color or have some nice decoration on them. You can also wear a pretty top with them." "I get it!" I squealed in delight. "I could even wear an extra pretty pair of panties that would make me feel nice even in pants." "Good girl Libby," she smiled. "Now, what's better, a quick shower or a bubble bath?" "A bubble bath is way better!" I shouted as I threw bubbles into the air. "Very good Libby, now enjoy your bath and don't forget that daddy and I want goodnight kisses before you go to sleep." I shook my head vigorously. "I promise not to forget." Mommy kissed my head and started to leave. "Thank you Mommy," I called out to her. "Thank you for letting me be a girl!" We were both crying as she rushed to hug me. "Thank you for making me so happy Elizabeth; I never thought I'd have such a wonderful daughter." I was getting to like being called Elizabeth. Mommy taught me all kinds of fun things like how to take care of baby dolls, how to pick outfits for my Barbie dolls, and even how to apply nail polish. I wanted to learn how to use makeup but Mommy would only buy me a toy makeup set, she said I'm too young to use real makeup. I can't wait until I'm old enough! Time seemed to be passing faster than ever before but I was having so much fun that it didn't seem to matter to me. Five days a week I went to school as an eleven year old boy named Eddie but every evening and weekend Eddie went away and Libby came out. I'd rush home from school and take a nice hot bubble bath, put on some pretty clothes and start doing my homework. Mommy and daddy said that unless I had my homework done, I wasn't allowed to play with my dolls so I made sure that everything was done and neatly set out for them to inspect. As soon as Mommy checked my homework, I would rush to my room and bring out my baby dolls. By the time daddy came home from work, I had my homework finished, my baby dolls were wearing pretty outfits, and we were waiting to greet him. He never got more than two steps into the house before I rushed over and smothered him with kisses. I was a big time Daddy's Girl! Halloween was only a week away when Mommy asked which outfit I wanted to wear to Daddy's party. "I'd like to wear my yellow party dress," I answered without waiting. "But it's kind of cold so maybe I could wear that yellow velvet dress with my white tights and my green shoes that have a little heel." "The party will be inside so why not go ahead and wear your yellow dress to the party and save the warmer one for Trick or treating?" Mommy suggested. "It will be nice and bright at the party and everyone will be able to see how pretty you look." I thought about it for all of two seconds before hugging her and telling her how much I loved her! My velvet dress was pretty but if I was supposed to be a little girl for Halloween, nothing would make me look better than a little girl's party dress! No one at school even bothered to ask me what I was going to be for Halloween. I guess that was good since I didn't want to spoil the surprise but it still hurt me that I was practically invisible to the other kids. I still watched the girls for tips on how to dress and act but I had to fight the urge to rush over to the third grade girls at lunch or recess and ask if I could jump rope with them or talk about my Barbie dolls. I hoped that someday I'd be one of the girls in a cute uniform skirt, jumping rope, or giggling about a cute boy in our class. Halloween would be on a Wednesday and Daddy's part was to on the Saturday before. That was a very good thing because I wanted to be able to take a nice bubble bath and since Mommy had promised to let me wear nail polish, my nails would need time to dry so I didn't mess up my pretty dress. I was very worried about Daddy's party; I wanted people to tell me how pretty I looked, but what if they laughed at me? Daddy told me that some kids might laugh but that I shouldn't worry too much; after all, it was all in fun for Halloween. Mommy was going to the party as Raggedy Ann and Daddy of course was Raggedy Andy. They looked so cute in their costumes; I hoped they'd win some sort of prize. As long as I don't get laughed at or teased too much, I don't care if I win; my prize will be when Mommy and daddy agree to let Libby stick around. It's been a month I'll never forget; I never in my wildest dreams thought that I'd be not only be allowed to dress up like a little girl but Mommy and daddy would treat me like the girl I hope to become. I don't know how I'll be able to stand it if they say that I have to go back to being Eddie again; even dressing up like I used to won't help me. I've had a chance to be a girl and I know I'll never be happy again as a boy. The big Moment finally arrived; I got almost completely dressed by myself, Mom still had to button a few buttons I couldn't reach, tie my sash, and help with my wig but it felt good to have her help; it may be the last time she'll be able to. Once my buttons were done and my sash tied into a pretty bow, I was ready. Mommy and I took our coats and purses, I took a deep breath, and we were off to the party. I got tons of compliments from many of the women at the party who first thought that I was just a little girl in a pretty dress. They'd ask me my name and I'd proudly tell them that it was Elizabeth Marie Martin, but my nickname was Libby. They all thought it was so cute that I'd answer like that. Later, after I won first prize for best costume, they came back to tell Mommy and daddy how amazed they were that I was really a boy. A bunch of them blurted out that I was too pretty to be a boy but quickly apologized. They probably thought they'd hurt my feelings; maybe they didn't notice how much I smiled when I heard them! Winning First Prize at the party got me twenty-five dollars; but the compliments were worth tons more than the money. I was walking on air as I waited to go Trick or Treating; Mommy had decided to fix me up as a princess in a pretty First Communion dress she'd picked out for me. She showed me a rhinestone covered tiara, white pantyhose, little girl pumps with a low heel, and the prettiest white panties, camisole, and petticoat a girl could ever want. For that one night, my last stand as Elizabeth Marie Martin, I would even be allowed to wear a touch of makeup! I rushed home on Halloween and spent an hour taking a hot bubble bath, then wearing my "Girls Rule" nightgown and matching panties under a fluffy pink robe, I ate dinner so that I wouldn't be tempted to eat any candy before Mommy and daddy could check it for me. As soon as I finished dinner and helped Mommy with the dishes, we went to my room to get me ready to become Princess Libby. My panties were nice and silky and had rows of pretty lace ruffles on the backside, the outer layer of my petticoat was all lace, and my camisole was silky instead of the usual cotton and had lace straps. It was the prettiest lingerie I've ever worn and when Mommy showed me my dress, I almost cried. It had a full skirt which is why I wore a petticoat; short sleeves that were sheer and puffed out, and the chest part had little pearls sewn into it. I knew that once I had that dress on, I'd never want to take it off again even if I had to wear it to school! I wanted everyone to see how pretty I was and then they'd know that I should have always been a girl. "Why am I a princess?" I asked as Mommy helped button my dress. "What was wrong with my velvet dress?" "Nothing was wrong with it Libby," she said as she adjusted my skirt to cover my petticoat. "I saw this dress and thought that since it's not that cold, you might want to be a princess instead." I twirled a little to see how well it looked. "It's so pretty Mommy, thank you for buying it for me." Mommy gave mea kiss. "You did daddy and me such a big favor that we wanted you to have something to remember from this last month. Turning you into a princess is our way of saying thanks." "I didn't mind Mommy, really I didn't. It was a lot of fun being a little girl." I wanted to tell her that if she really loved me, she'd let me be a girl forever, but somehow I couldn't bring myself to say it. Mommy fixed my wig and put a little lipstick and eye-shadow on me. Then she told me to close my eyes. I felt something going around my neck and then something pinching my ears. When she told me to open my eyes, I was wearing a pretty necklace and earrings! "Mommy, you're letting me wear earrings and a necklace? I'll be the prettiest girl out trick or treating tonight!" "No matter what, you'd still be the prettiest girl." I heard daddy say as he walked into the room. "It's a good thing you're not older, I might just run off with you!" "You'd miss Mommy too much," I told him. "She's the nicest lady in the whole world." "Then I guess you must be the second nicest," Daddy nodded. "Thanks for doing this, I know it must have been tough, but it helped more than you can imagine." Mommy shooed him out of the room before we both started crying; after all this, I didn't want to miss my last chance to be Libby. I had to come back home twice to drop off all the candy I got; every time a woman was handing out candy, she'd give me an extra piece since I looked so pretty. Only a few people ever asked who I was and it took a lot of convincing before they believed me. I finished the night with more candy than I ever got before and posed for a couple of dozen pictures before I took my last bubble bath and slept in my Barbie nightgown for the last time. The next morning it was back to school as Eddie; a short, confused, boy. A couple of kids mentioned that they'd heard about my costume and some girls mentioned that they'd seen me and were amazed at how pretty I looked. I told them that it was all my Mom's idea and that I thought it was silly but they insisted that I had made a very pretty little girl! One girl even said that she thought I'd make a better girl than I did a boy. She apologized but said that she wasn't trying to be mean or anything; she just thought that I was very sweet and gentle and gentle. There was something about me, she told me, that made her think that I'd make a great girlfriend; I seemed to her like the kind of person she could got to if she was upset and I'd understand. I smiled and told her that I wasn't upset; I knew she meant what she'd said as a compliment and that's how I'd take it. When I got home there were no pretty outfits in my closet; my boy's clothes had all been put back on their hangers and in my drawers. The stuff I'd brought home and hidden was still where I'd put it but I couldn't change into them unless I had the house to myself. I locked my door, laid down on my bed, and cried. Mom and dad (I didn't feel right calling them Mommy and daddy if I wasn't Libby) acted as though the last month had never happened. I was Eddie and no mention was made of Libby. Dad seemed to miss having his daughter rush up to greet him when he got home at night, and Mom would sometimes start to call me Libby but stop and quickly switch to Eddie. Nothing felt right at home; all of the warmth I felt from the past month had disappeared and I felt so sad. Christmas came and went; I got clothes, a PC, and some hot games for my play station but it didn't help. What I wanted more than anything else was to be Libby again; to have Mommy and daddy tell me how pretty I was and how happy I made them. If I had gotten even one dress for Christmas, my parents could've forgotten the PC and everything else they had bought for me. I was able to dress up a couple of times when no one was home but it wasn't as much fun anymore. Sneaking over to my parent's room to look in the mirror wasn't necessary anymore; I still had a full length mirror on my closet door from when I was Libby. I'd dress up and stare at myself but instead of twirling and giggling like I used to do, I ended up crying. I found it hard to concentrate on my homework; when I finished I wouldn't be able to change into a pretty dress and play with my dolls. My dresses and dolls were gone. Since I wasn't concentrating on my homework, I wasn't prepared in class and my grades started to fall from A's to D's. Mom and dad tried to talk to me to find out what was wrong, but I blew them off; I just knew they wouldn't understand if I told them that I wanted to be a girl. The months churned along and I found myself becoming sadder and sadder as they did. Nothing seemed to matter anymore; my grades sucked, I didn't touch my PC or the games I got for Christmas: when I watched TV, I couldn't follow any plots. Spring was coming and so was my twelfth birthday. It didn't matter to me though, nothing did anymore. I knew I should've been a girl; somehow, something went wrong though and I was stuck as a boy. I couldn't tell anyone my secret though; other kids would think that I was some sort of freak and my parents would probably think they caused it by asking me to pretend to be a girl. I really loved my parents even though I couldn't tell them that; at least I couldn't as Eddie, I told them that I loved them several times a day when I was Libby though. I knew that they loved me; they told me so even before I became Libby, but I had a hard time telling them. Knowing that they loved me made it pretty much impossible to tell them what was bothering me; I knew they'd blame themselves, and the last thing I wanted was to hurt them in any way. I'd have to keep my feelings secret, no matter what! One Saturday morning, two weeks before my birthday, everything blew up. I was sitting in my usual Zombie state watching TV when dad asked what I wanted for my birthday.