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Anxieties By Lorraine B. (c) 2006 All Rights Reserved Chapter 1 Why in the hell did I ever take this job? Was it the money? Was it the potential of promotion? Was it the travel? Was it being my own boss? Was it all the benefits thrown at my feet? Was it in fact my own greed? Nope, I had those loans to repay. This was my second job in five years since graduating college. I was pathetically and depressively unhappy since I missed my family and friends after moving so far away from them all. I kept in touch but I really did miss them. Mom and dad were always there for their three children, my brother the oldest, my sister and me as the youngest. These thoughts rumbled in my head as I drove down the road to my next destination and a brief vacation. There was something missing, but what was it? Was it being not married? Shit no, I had relationships with the opposite sex, which proved to be calamitous from the onset of puberty, not for girls but for everyone concerned. Was it Children? No, I don't know, maybe it was not having kids around to torment me of course there was always my brother and sister's kids to drive me happily insane. Entering the city I saw the holiday suites I was to call home for the next few weeks. The next fourteen days were mine to relax and enjoy. I pulled into the parking lot and parked up. After checking in the bellboy and I went directly to my suite. On entering the suite of rooms I sighed deeply not for the sterile furnishings but for the loneliness I would endure. I knew I should have gone home, why was I staying here? Quickly I disrobed from the androgynous clothing I wore after the bellboy had left. Looking disgustedly at the sports bra I wore and my permed hair tied at the back of my head into a ponytail. I asked myself why life was so cruel. Ever so swiftly I removed the sports bra allowing my over full C cup breasts to be free and I could admire them. I freed my hair from the confining scrunchi allowing my shoulder length hair to frame my face. Massaging my breasts to allow the blood to flow I made a decision never to wear a smaller bra again. These beauties were the cause of all of my disastrous relationships with everyone. What woman wanted to go out with another person with breasts larger than her own? Or a body that was more finely sculpted then her own? Besides as far as male attributes I didn't have any as that's what my birth certificate says I was born. Thank the Creator that my parents gave me the names of Edith Evelyn Gayle-Smythe, named after some ancestor or other, although that was another source of ridicule by many ignorant persons having three undoubtedly female names. The doctors said at my puberty it was gynecomastia and they'd more than likely shrink after it passed. Shrink my ass! They got bigger along with my hips and bubble butt with my waist becoming very waspish. My voice remained soft and high. That always caused me problems as I was supposed to be a male. My skin was always soft, so very supple and tanned to perfection. Now my hair was auburn everywhere as a woman's body had, it was the same color my eyebrows were naturally thin on my oval face with high cheekbones that were very prominent. Since I stood at five foot eight and at 115 pounds, I was svelte and elegant in my body and movements. I was a man's wet dream is what I'd been told although that was years ago. My mind said male but my body said Oolala, Mon Dieu, Mon Cherie, where's the men? Why did my body change to what it was? No one could explain as the Quacks always said, we need more tests and the results say you're a male and then several said I was female. Make up your bloody minds already! I hope your bats die from all the blood they've digested from me! How about a CAT scan? Do I look like a male? I do get a kind of an orgasmic tingle when you put your finger up my butt. Did you kiss me yet? Oh I love foreplay. Oh please my breasts are tingling! Did you use protection? Ohhh...a finger rubber! Yeah Doc, well stick it, Medical Science blows! Taking off my white, silken, nylon panties I took a red robe, slippers and nightgown from one of the several suitcases I had and headed off to the bath. In that luxurious bathtub I relaxed as I had used the ample supplies of bath oils and feminine products that were furnished and closed my eyes. While resting I must have fallen asleep and dreamt of my childhood. The daylight broke through my bedroom window announcing the beginning of a new day. It was a hot summer day and it was my birthday. I was fourteen and I looked forward to it, as I was no longer a boy but a man or so I thought. In our family you were always a boy until you hit that age of fourteen and I finally achieved it. That morning I threw off the sheet that covered my small body dressed only in my skivvies. Taking a shower in the bathroom I shared with my brother Mitch, I noticed that my chest area itched. It was itching and tenderer than ever. My nipples were larger as were the areola. I saw that there was certain fullness in other areas, that they were also enlarged just as my sister's breasts had been several years before. I was scared and humiliated that this was happening to me when there was a knock on the door as I toweled dry. Sandra my sister just strode right in without any regard for my privacy saying, "Happy Birthday, sorry twerp but I ran out of a certain necessary commodity we all use." As she bent over getting a roll of toilet paper from beneath the sink cabinet, she suddenly froze, took her toilet paper and ran from the room hurriedly but not before looking, almost staring, at my chest area. Putting on fresh skivvies as my dad called underwear I heard the sounds of hurried feet, many hurried feet. Mom and dad were the first barging in on me followed by Sandra and Mitch. Mom took me to her breast with tears in her eyes saying, "How are you feeling dear?" I felt fine other than the slight discomfort I had and I told her. In front of the family I was embarrassingly forced to raise the t-shirt I wore to expose my budding, budding hell, exposing my large beauties. At least then I thought they were large, with Mitch and dad being immediately thrown out of the bathroom by mom. "Sandra, get my tape measure and you my little dear, just how long has this been going on? Have you been taking pills or anything?" Mom asked me knowing I wouldn't lie to her while Sandra ran from the room. "About three or four months ago I guess, maybe longer, everything I wear hurts them, mom. I swear I haven't taken anything, you know I hate any type of medicine," I said looking directly into her eyes as I spoke. Then Sandra walked in with the tape measure handing it to mom. "Oh dear...I'll be right back sweetheart," Mom said leaving me with Sandra and her bourgeoning smile. "Okay Sandi let's hear your words of wisdom," I said knowing I'd get the crap thrown into my face. Instead she was sympathetic saying, "They kind of hurt don't they? I remember when mine were growing." "Yes they hurt and I regret all the teasing I ever did to you, I'm so sorry Sis. But this isn't supposed to happen to a boy. I'm a freak!" I said as I cried the tears of frustration out of me hugging her. "Edie...Edith, mom and dad will find out what happened to you. Just think of all the kids that will look at you now." Sandra said trying to get me to smile or laugh. As I cried even harder she went to me and drew me to her hugging me close. I cried my tears of shame even after mom and dad came back into the bathroom saying, "Sweetheart we called the doctor and he's coming to examine you. I want you to slip this on and let Sandra help you." Handing me a bra, Sandra helped me remove my T-shirt and put the bra on and replaced my T-shirt. There was no doubt in anyone's mind that they were breasts, but at least they didn't hurt with the bra on and felt good as the mounds lay inside filling those cups. I began to cry seeing those mounds of shame on my chest. "Edie, please..." mom was saying as I cut her off. "Leave me alone! Why don't you all just put me into a dress and panties since I already have the bra," I yelled out running out of the bathroom to my bed flinging myself upon it. I was crying even harder as everyone left leaving me to my tears. I had cried myself out when the doctor came and examined me, doing what he could. He left some salves for the irritation and called the hospital for more tests to be run by the specialists. Those tests began, practically a lifetime of tests and experimentation with nothing and everything being normal but borderline for a boy or a girl. The medicos were perplexed with some even offering to do radical mastectomies or even sex changes. I refused both. I was a male with the body of a woman, almost! That afternoon of my birthday I was so beyond mortified as friends and family came over to help celebrate. I know they all saw my bra and my breasts yet never said a word. I became withdrawn from the festivities when my best friend Kyle who was a few years older came over and sat next to me. "Edie, we've known each other for years and years. We've slept in the same bed when I stay with your family. Your mom and dad feel responsible for what is going on with you. They feel helpless that they can't do anything or what caused it. Most girls would give anything to have a set of bazongas like that." With fire in my eyes I screamed out in a high pitched voice saying, "You don't get it do you? This isn't supposed to happen to boys! I'm a boy! I'm a freak! Do you all hear me I'm a BOY!" I suddenly looked around seeing that all conversation had stopped everywhere in the yard. I ran from the yard through the house and into the safety of my room, slamming my door. Again I was on my bed crying when the door opened and dad walked into the room. Slowly he walked to the bed soundlessly and sat next to me. "Edie, you were very rude to your guests and especially Kyle. Your mother and I have no idea what's happened to you; no one does. Until we find out there's nothing you or we can do. Now I'm asking you to dry those tears and come outside. I'm also asking that you apologize to your guests. If it's any consolation I love you and if you become our daughter we would all know it wasn't your fault because it was your mother's and my fault since we conceived you in an act of love." "Dad, I'm so afraid it's going to get worse and school starts in two weeks. What do I do then? Baggy clothes won't work to hide...my breasts because it's too warm," I said. "I don't know, I don't think anyone knows; we'll just have to take it as it comes," he said as he kissed my forehead, which he hadn't done for years and dried my tears. Taking my hand he tugged me to follow him, which I did all the way outside. I apologized to our guests individually that made me feel better that I could be accepted by family and friends and not ostracized. Kyle it seemed became very protective as the weeks and months went by with my body maturing even more. We kept in contact with each other even when he started school earlier than I. I was mystified by all his attention when Sandra said he saw me as a girl and a possible conquest. Okay so I had breasts that were in awe by all the males and envious of many females my age but that didn't mean I was a girl. When school began my friends helped me somewhat but there were still those both male and female that had to be assholes to ridicule and taunt me with bigotry on their tongues. When I ignored the name calling it escalated to physical abuse that the administration disregarded such as the grabbing, pinching and of course the swirlies. The final straw was not only the snapping of my bra strap but the twisting of my breast; that was done in the lunchroom by another student in plain view of a male teacher. That evening as I was in a bath soaking when mom came in and saw the bruises I'd endured. She was furious, telephoning the principal of the school at home she told him in no uncertain terms he was an asshole and so was his staff. The next day I began home study, as according to the school I was a disruption to all my classes, maybe I was just once, when Sandra and Libby her girlfriend dared me to replace my bra with a 'bullet bra' from the fifties. Wow, talk about filling out a sweater or poking an eye out. One boy almost fell out of a window in the classroom as he saw my bodacious breasts; fortunately we were on ground level, as the boys laughed and the girls giggled at him. That same boy was the one that assaulted me, maybe I deserved that 'titty twister' but that was another form of humiliation I endured. My brother and sister, Mitch and Sandi were always there for me to talk to them as was mom and dad. We all spoke to each other on every subject that could be brought up. When I was taken out of school and placed into the home school program they seemed to breathe easier as did Kyle. Now Kyle nearly came over everyday to tutor me in Math and Science as these were beyond my comprehension as the tutor once said. We were alone in the house, as Sandra and Mitch were at school and mom and dad were at work. Kyle was off due to some teacher in-service training at his school. Both of us were sitting on the couch very close to each other working on a math problem, which I finally began to understand. When I understood the problem he got excited and kissed me on the lips. I had a chorus in my head saying, 'no', then 'yes' and then I said to myself 'oh, hell yes' and I kissed him back. "That was good Kyle," I said after we finished our kiss. "Edith, I'm so sorry but all I see is a girl next to me, a girl that's also my best friend." Excusing myself I went to Sandra's room as her room was closest and I cried briefly. I was so confused with my actions that I enjoyed kissing Kyle. For some reason I can't explain I looked around Sandi's room and made up my mind that if all he saw was a girl then I was going to be one hell of a girl for Kyle. Taking off my baggy wind suit, sneakers, bra, briefs and t-shirt; I found a white pair of red, high cut, nylon panties, a red and yellow floral patterned sundress and red canvas, wedged sandals. Pulling up those panties I marveled as how the material felt on my skin caressing my butt and widening hips. Sliding on the dress I felt how light, soft and airy it was as I placed my breasts into the bodice shelves, as it too embraced my blossoming body. I used Sandi's flash red nail polish and did both hands and feet after a manicure and quick pedicure. While the polish dried all I saw in the mirror was a shorter version of Sandra and a younger version of mom although I was not as well endowed as they were with Sandi a still growing C cup and Mom being a full C Cup. 'Oh my God, I'm going to be as large as them!' Placing my hair into a ponytail and applying the briefest of makeup I had seen mom and Sandi use, I looked at Sandi, no my refection in the mirror. Fastening the buckles of the sandals I prepared myself for my entrance. 'I was as ready as I was ever going to be,' I said to myself as I opened and went out of the bedroom. In walking down the hallway I felt the sensuous dress I wore as well as the way my hips swayed. Kyle must have heard me as I walked toward him as he turned his head, widening his eyes and smiling wider than I'd ever seen him smile. "Okay Honey, you have your girl," I said going to him and kissing him lovingly. The kiss must have been good as I felt him grow pressing his weapon into my stomach as we held each other. "I assume you like what you see Kyle?" I asked with him saying, "I thought you were Sandra at first until the height factor hit me. Damn, I finally have a date for all the dances and she's my best friend on top of it." "Dances, oh no, I don't date, I don't dance, especially in makeup, a dress and heels. Kyle, how in the world can you ask a boy out to a dance?" "If there's a boy in that dress, I'm Sly Stalone." "Hi Sly," I said as I kissed him and took him into the kitchen with me for lunch that I then made with my own two little hands. We ate; we talked, with me becoming more comfortable with his stares of adoration since this was the first and last time I would be dressed as I was. "Edith, would you be my date to the Halloween Dance; look, I'll even get Sandra a date and we could double." Did I just hear the word date as in 'blind date' and 'dance' in the same sentence? "By the way Sis that dress looks better on you then it does on me, it's yours dear." Sandra said walking into the kitchen. I had forgotten this was a short day for her at school. "Sandi I didn't mean to offend you by saying that, I asked Edith to be my date and I think she's scared to go." "I'm not a she! Now, how about a date for Mitch too?" "If you aren't, you'd better look into that mirror again. Sure, we could all go together." Kyle said smiling with Sandra agreeing and then leaving to go to work at Marjorie's dress shop. After cleaning the kitchen and dishes the next few hours I was drilled by Kyle (No, not that way!) in math and general science. I went into the kitchen for some of the ice tea I had made when I heard the garage door open and I turned to see mom. The next thing I saw was her letting go of the grocery bags and hearing the shattering of glass on the floor. "Mom, are you all right?" I asked as I went to help her pick up the bags. I bent at the knees as I had seen Sandra and her do all the time with her saying, "Edith Sweetheart is that really you? I swear I thought you were Sandra at first. Whose idea was this?" "I'll take the blame Mrs. Smythe when I asked Edith to the dance," Kyle said as I glared at him and his big mouth. Mom looked at me adding a smile that you only see with sharks after the feeding frenzy saying, "Kyle I've always been mom to you too, so why the formalities? A dance Huh...I thought and I quote you, boys don't date boys. Did you get a good look at yourself? If you're a boy with that cleavage I see, then I'm Rumpelstiltskin and I am not a gnome either." "Sorry Mom S," Kyle said as we cleaned up the mess mom made. He told her exactly what the deal was and what Sandra and I had said. "Kyle dear I think that if you would like Edith to go she should go just to get her tiny feet wet. By the way missy, go fix your face it's been... Ah, very active and Kyle that color of lipstick doesn't suit you at all." Mom said giggling. "Mom! What will people say? I'll be a freak again to be stared at and ridiculed." "Edith, it'll be a Halloween party with costumes and masks. Think of this party as a male playing a role in a play, look at the Japanese Kabuki theatre and Shakespeare's plays during those times there were no women playing female parts only young boys and men. To this day the Kabuki follows the ancient traditions of no females. "I know you're scared, I also can see its hell trying to pretend you don't have breasts but you do; dressing as a tomboy does not help your psyche. Enjoy what Sandi and I feel, as we get dressed; besides look what happened to you in not telling me what you were going through. Do I think you're a freak?" Before I could answer she carried on. "Sweetheart you're my baby, my child, I carried you for all those months inside of me as you grew and were born. We all watched, loved and nurtured you each day after you were born. We never chastised you kids as some parents do when you and Mitch played with girl's toys or Sandra with boy's toys. I never had a dysfunctional and argumentative household; sure you kids always teased each other but it was never a hurtful type of teasing. "I know these bodily and psychological changes are very difficult adjust to and I know that there will be those that cause and show their bigotry toward you just as that wretched boy did to you. Think of those clothes you're wearing as a suit of protective armor that was custom made for you. Let people see you as a girl and laugh in your boy mind that you fooled them." I knew better than to interrupt mom when she was on a roll with her words. I listened the entire time as Kyle held my hand. I know you're asking me why if I was so much of a boy was I holding his hand? To be honest my answer was and is, I don't know. I mean he gave me a feeling of added protection yet I also stirred up his hormones into a frenzy. I knew he wasn't gay because he had an active social life with many girls outside school. Being his best friend meant I knew all the secrets and skeletons in his closet. Being his best friend we shared an admiration and respect for each other that worked its way within our family structures. In the next few weeks everyone was in a flurry of activity from hospital appointments, tutors to costume fittings. Dad and Mom were taking the place of Kyle's parents as chaperones to this dance as they would be out of the country on business. Kyle was put into my room and I was stuck with Sandra. True to Kyle's word he found my brother and sister dates that they went out several times with before the dance to get to know them. Mitch went out with Rhonda; Sandra had Patrick and guess who I had? Yep I had good old reliable Kyle. Anyway Rhonda or Ronni as we called her was a stone cold fox but she was a bit standoffish. That's a bad word to use, shy seems more appropriate because of her height of five foot eleven but then my brother was over six foot tall. She had a body that would make the goddesses weep in envy, as she was very athletic just like Mitch. I could see this mating was a match and now Sandra faired just as well. Patrick stood at five foot nine and was built like a tank, but had a wonderful intelligence, humor and finesse about him. Little did I know back then that I was looking at my future brother and sister in laws that would later give me just as much crap as they did back then. In many ways just as my own flesh and blood did. In those coming weeks I dressed pretty much in jeans, sweaters, sweat shirts and sneakers. I was always fearful of dresses and skirts as they reminded me of what was happening to me and the loss of my male body such as it was. This was proved over and over again at each medical appointment I attended. You know, an inch added here and removed here and voila an instant young woman's body. Sandra, Ronni and mom once said it wasn't the fear of the dresses and skirts it was because of getting deeper involvement with Kyle. Okay, so how in the hell can I be the man in my mind yet dressed in all that froufrou and lace? Look at what happened to me when I wore a sundress? I wound up kissing Kyle and making a fool out of myself to the family. Or did I? All I knew was that evening I was given a very long talk by mom and Sandra on the birds and the bees from a woman's standpoint that made me blush for days to come. I was told everything from how to please a man sexually to what was acceptable and what wasn't acceptable for a young woman to do while dating. While listening to them speak the entire Mormon Tabernacle Choir was singing the benefits of masculinity while some heavenly choral group was singing the benefits of femininity all in a syncopated, counterpoint, rhythmic style that even got louder as methods of sex were introduced. I was at a complete loss for words when they spoke how the male and female bodies would react. I knew there was a problem with mine, as my body never had reacted to the stimulus of masturbation, wet dreams or any other ways to have an ejaculation. I also knew that in the shower or bath I received multiple waves of sexual pleasure and fulfillment as I washed. In addition I knew from past experiences at the hospital that I never could give them a sperm sample no matter what stimulus or eroticism was offered to me from gorgeous nurses giving me a hand job or even oral sex to the most stimulating of sexually explicit photos. My penis, testicles and scrotum were beginning to be what was called atrophied as they all shrunk. Yet the chorus sang their songs of being a male in my mind. A week before the dance Mom told us that our costumes were ready but Marjorie needed to do a final fitting. In my mind I hoped mine would be a suit but in those confined recesses of the gray matter we called a brain, I knew my costume was going to be something feminine. Hey, if it was Batgirl or some other fantasy character I could handle that but what I received was more than a wakeup call. On arriving at the dress shop where my sister worked with Marjorie, she smiled at us all and closed the shop and said, "Okay I want the women in the back room and the men in the dressing rooms. Your names are on the boxes and I want everyone to get dressed and then come out." I was headed with the men when Marjorie grabbed my arm and pulled me along with the girls. When we were in the back room I saw stacks of boxes with the names Edith, Ronni, Sandi and finally Carla stenciled on them. Carla was my mom's Christian name. There was a look of delight on all the women's faces, as they unpacked their finery while I trembled in my little white sneakers. "I think it's a marvelous idea to have a theme for the dance. Okay ladies now please get undressed, no bras just panties," Marjorie ordered. "The guys really made a face but they were outvoted by us. They wanted comic book fantasy characters and the girls voted for the Southern Cotillion theme last year," Rhonda said as she took off her bra and massaged her breasts. Last year? They all knew about this ahead of time? I was in some very deep liquidly stuff that came from the body, like... excrement. Yeah that's it! Shit. Undressing with everyone I saw there was an intimacy with women, which men I had learned from the past, didn't have. They all looked or praised each other, nothing was ever mean or spitefully said, and as we all took off our clothes even Rhonda praised me on how my body was changing. Mom and Sandra also chimed into the conversation with them showing photos of me. This was very disconcerting to my male voices but the female voices said to go with it. "We need to get you different bras and panties sweetheart those look a bit too small. I do hope those measurements I gave Marjorie will be all right. Edith seems to be filling out so fast." "I'll say, when she wears my clothes, they're not in the least baggy where they once were," Sandra added to my discomfort. "Sorry Sis but my own clothes don't fit anymore, anywhere, and I had to steal your jeans, a sweater and my feet were cold..." I replied. "Yes pantyhose and the boots that I stole from mom." Sandra said as she hugged me to her naked body. Oh what an electrifying experience that was. Breasts touching breasts, my little perky ones and her bigger mounds of animated flesh with my nipples hardening. Maybe I was a lesbian? "We'll take care of Edith's needs later. Now you girls will have to endure something that I just know you'll hate. It's called the corset, the nightmare of women for years and years," Marjorie said as I blankly looked at her face. 'What the hell was a corset?' I wondered but I soon to find out as I was the first to be trussed up in that torturous device of emerald green satin and lace. My complaints, tears and yells fell upon deaf ears as the lacings were pulled tighter and tighter giving me a figure that girls in my former school only wished and hoped they had. Marjorie said, "you are fortunate that this is a modern version of the old whale boned ones women used to wear. Those normally went to the thighs while this one goes a little past your hips." Taking shallow breaths I managed to stay coherent yet docile as it was tightened. My breasts were placed into and on the shelves of the cups of the corset making them seem as large as Sandra's. Then I was made to sit and was instructed on how to place the silky smooth stockings on and up my legs. I've worn pantyhose before but this was like an experience that went beyond orgasmic, as I felt those green gossamer silk stockings tug at the attached garters of the corset. "Due to the cost involved of replicating the shoes that women wore back then I improvised with these," Marjorie said holding a pair of three- inch spike heeled, emerald green colored, silk evening pumps adorned with gold and silver threads that were embroidered into swirls on the toes. Once they were on my feet I was made to walk. Getting the coaching and support I needed from everyone, I soon mastered or was that I mistressed the chore? No matter; I walked in the damn things. Bloomers and petticoats abounded and then this creation they called a floor length formal gown was added with the hem of the skirt attached to my wrist. "You girls are lucky these gowns have zippers because they used to be made with buttons," Marjorie said as she and mom lowered the silk fabric down on me, zipping me into it as they all fluttered about adjusting my skirts. I was petrified to look into that mirror with my knees knocking. My hair was placed into a bun after it was teased with butterfly pins adorning it. After a fall was added and then the makeup, I sat there bewildered at what just had happened to me. We were all dressed, powdered and perfumed when we heard a knock and dad walked in. Mom was dressed in pastel blue, Sandra was in burgundy and Rhonda wore a dark yellow gown. They all fitted very well and they looked gorgeous. Dad was so very handsome with the blue suit he wore matching mom's gown in shading. His jacket was open and going below his knees with satin lapels and the satin strips on the outer seam down each leg. When he turned the jacket even had tails. The cuffs of the jacket allowed the lace of the shirt beneath to show while the vest was of blue satin matching the lapels of the jacket, which was buttoned over a white, very lacey but decidedly masculine cut shirt with a string tie at his neck. At first I felt very humiliated with him seeing me like this until he smiled and took mom's hand, saying, "Gwen really went all out designing those costumes. You all look gorgeous in them." 'Gee thanks dad,' I thought thinking that was just what my voices needed to hear but I actually said, "I can't dad, I just can't go like this, and I'm still a...a..." "Not this again! Edith, just take a look at yourself! Do boys have the real things on their chest like you do? Do they have a body to die for like you do? Damnit girl, I only wished I looked a fraction like you do," Rhonda said making me look into the mirror. All I could think about was getting out of this heavy stuff I wore, as she rambled on but I kept my eyes closed. She then pinched my arm to make me gaze at a young woman in the mirror wearing an emerald green ball gown from a different era. I saw her heaving breasts held in a silk, satin and lace bodice while her beautiful shoulders framed by the same materials were adding a dramatic flavor to her tanned-colored skin. The ball gown made her green eyes shine dramatically and accentuated the redness of her hair as she stood. Her lips were the colors and had the fullness of ripe cherries. She was the picture of loveliness from the goddesses of another age. "Is that a boy? I hardly think so Edith. Besides it's also Halloween when boys and girls can and will dress as they like without fear of ostracism. It's that time for everyone to let down their hair and enjoy parties," she continued. "I have to admit that I thought Gwen was nuts when she insisted that you wear these costumes. She saw the styles on an old television show called Yancy Derringer on some cable network. We both saw Gone With the Wind and kind of shied away from it. These come from a period that was more elegant and earlier than the Civil War and have a decidedly French/ New Orleans flavor to them. You gals will be the Belles of the Ball. Don't you dare even say it Edith dear!" Marjorie added as she took all of us to the front of the shop to see the men. Their jaws hit the floor. I was impressed seeing that the men where attired in matching colors to us and they had the same style that dad was wearing. They also had beaver skin top hats and silver, eagle headed canes. It was also I saw that the men had what looked like spats on their shoes matching the suits they all wore and our gowns. They all looked suave and very sophisticated to me while I felt confused because I was the one in the gown. Kyle worked up his nerve as did Mitch and Patrick who walked over towards us with Kyle softly saying, "A boy huh? I really don't think so." Then the unexpected brush of his lips touched my cheek just as a camera flash went off. "Okay boys and girls I need pictures and I want them now before you take your delights with each other," Marjorie said making us stand or sit at her whim. Damn she even had us in dancing positions with Kyle holding me very close to him. How do I know it was close? I still have the marks from his erection that he tried to embed into my belly button. 'Kind sir, my belly button is not a receptacle for your thingy, even though it is an innie!' Undressing Marjorie told us we would have to wear the corsets during our waking hours and we each had a few more to take home. We even to sleep in them. "After the dance," she laughed, "you can save them for your wedding gowns or to tease your men with." 'Thanks Marjorie! Why don't you yell it out louder so all the guys can hear what you said?' I was unhappy as was Rhonda and Sandra, yet mom had that smile of playfulness on her lips. Oh crap dad and her would be walking bowlegged for the next week. Sandra made a comment of oiling their bedsprings with mom countering with something about chastity belts and us wearing them. 'Crap mom, don't I have enough problems?' With my luck she'll turn it around backwards to... Oh never mind you get the gist of what I was trying to say. For a week we wore those satin prisons and the dance was getting closer with all of us fending off the amorous attacks and probes of the men. For a week all I could wear was skirts, dresses, stockings and heels, much to everyone's delight. I was angry I had to go to the proctologist dressed in a skirt, blouse and heels for a rectal exam. The nurses smiled and that doctor took too much pleasure in his job as he really stuck it into me. If I wanted this type of abuse I know Kyle would gladly volunteer or I could have used an Exlax or a glycerin suppository. I was trained in the feminine arts and chastised relentlessly by everyone, which included, Marjorie, Kyle, Rhonda and Patrick. I hated having my knees together and smoothing out my dress. I hated taking short mincing steps and the heels that I wore. I hated wearing makeup along with shaving my underarms and legs. I hated learning to dance, kinda. Okay it was fun and I liked it. The things I enjoyed were the compliments and the attention I received. I was even getting used to being kissed and probed by Kyle and being referred to by all those feminine pronouns they so carelessly threw around. The day before the dance I was made to really suffer at the hands of everyone by being taken to this den of femininity called the beauty salon. Makeup, pedicures, manicures, nail and hair extensions, highlights, body perms, leg and bikini waxing; they did it all to us. The hardest part to swallow was while I sat I dozed off in the beautician's chair to waken with the sound of pops. Then I felt the pain in my ears. On my fast but rude awakening, stood two beauticians on both sides of me smiling after they had pieced my ears three times with starter studs in them. I could see me having one hole in each ear because some males had them, but three holes? Only my sister, mother and other women I knew had more then one hole for earrings. What was next my nipples? My hair was finished and it was done up in an upswept bouffant style like the others. Sandra and I could have been mistaken for twins and mom our sister. Rhonda was so thrilled with her blonde hair looking as gorgeous as it was that she began to call our mom, mother. This salon adventure was a treat and present from Kyle's mom and dad after they saw the pictures that Marjorie took of us in the clothing she designed. Walking into the house was really delicate when Kyle saw me and the boys and dad saw the girls and mom. I never knew that men had more than two arms and two lips but they seemed to be everywhere at once. Kyle had a lip lock on me when I was suddenly pulled into the kitchen by mom. "It's not safe in there for you or any of the other girls. Now park it Miss Hotpants," she commanded to me as she returned for the other two girls. I sat as mom went into that steamy, sweaty den of sexual perverseness called the living room. My body was still tingling, my nipples were erect, and I was still breathing hard when mom came in dragging Rhonda and Sandra behind her making them also sit-down. I told mom what I felt, how it felt and my confusion as she poured ice tea for all of us. "I think you were about to lose those pretty panties you're wearing as we all were," Mom replied. "Sex to a woman is about loving, very emotional and very intense. Think of a spark that later becomes a bonfire or a forest fire and then dies; that's what it's like for us. It builds gradually to such force it consumes us and our partners in pleasure." "Do I really want to hear this? Mom, I'm really sorry I asked, I'm not a g......" "Here we go again! Sis, by what you described to us, you sure are a girl. But you have to know when to shut it all down before you have...intercourse, either vaginal or anal," Rhonda said taking my hand. Each day that Rhonda was around I was treated like a little sister, as was Sandra. I and our family liked her a great deal and there was a spark that began with her and Mitch that was beginning to be a fire. Later it was an inferno when they married in a civil ceremony secretly. For the rest of the day we stayed away from the guys and their spears of enchantment and lust. During the evening I saw mom really sexually teasing dad to the point he threw her over his shoulder and carried her to the bedroom. You know we forgot to oil the bedsprings. Damn they were loud! The lights were all lowered and it seemed romantic. I sat next to Kyle while Sandra and Rhonda had their way with Mitch and Patrick. The smooching and heavy petting was hot and heavy until I heard the moans. There was my sister practicing to be a sword swallower along with Rhonda following her lead with Patrick and Mitch moaning. Between the moans, groans and bedsprings I was going mad so I took Kyle with me to Sandra's room to watch television. Somehow it didn't work out as I planned as we began to the same things except maybe for us taking it a step further. I felt every bit of pleasure he and I shared together as he licked my breasts and I swallowed his sword to its inevitable outcome where I lapped up his seed greedily. The one thing he didn't feel was to have him buried deep inside me. I wanted to feel the painful sensation as he inserted himself that would turn to sexual pleasure as we made love. My mind was in lust as he drove himself into me not caring if mom or dad caught us. I wanted him, every bit of him until he orgasmed with me following him to untold heights of delectation. My mind was in a spin with the female side of me taking charge. I was in female hormone heaven yet the doctors said I was normal for a male. I began to cry softly as we cuddled together on the bed next to each other. I had no idea if they were tears of tenderness, loss of my virginity or from our source of pleasure. That was when Sandra came into the room and seeing us both naked she ordered, "Kyle honey, go to your room, take a shower and get ready for bed while Edith and I speak. We'll meet you in the living room in a bit after we clean up." She wasn't angry and kissed him like a brother as he left, then she led me into the bathroom with her. She adjusted the water, placed shower caps over our hair and stepped under the spray with me in tow saying, "Edith dear, you just stepped across that fine line from aggressive to passive, from male to female, you do know that?" "Everything was fine, and then it just happened," I said sobbing while she tenderly washed my body with her soapy hands. "Yeah and that's how some of us get pregnant too. Okay so you can't get pregnant but be sexually safe. Mom, dad, all of us are worried sick about you. I knew this was going to happen to you and I tried to tell you. Honey, I've always loved you since you were in mom's belly, I used to talk to you too. I didn't care if you were a boy or a girl. When you were born I was just happy you were alive and well for all of us to share. Secretly I wanted a sister and after fourteen abysmal years I have one. Sure we tolerated each other before, but you and I were closer than Mitch and me." "What's going on in here?" Rhonda said seeing us together in the shower. "Well Sis here is now a woman, she did the big nasty with Kyle. They crossed the line together, him a man, she a woman, with you and I causing it all," Sandra said with Rhonda sitting slowly on the commode saying, "No! Oh my God! Oh Edith honey I'm so sorry. I never thought for a moment that this would happen." Seeing her tears I said, "Ronni none of this was anyone's fault, it just happened. I should have said no, but I was weak and allowed it to happen. To be honest with you both, I enjoyed my first sexually induced orgasm." "What first orgasm girls? Oh my God, turn toward me Edith dear. You did it, didn't you?" Mom said closing the bathroom door behind her. "Mom, please don't be mad. It just... happened," I said as mom cut me off. "Yes, it happened and you now share the same rules as Sandra does. What angers me is that the doctors say you're a male dear, you're all girl and have the hormone highs we get. Darling, and this goes for all of you, control those urges until you get married, drop those lacey panties of yours again and really suffer from my anger, you'll be grounded until you're married or twenty one. Am I angry, you bet, if you had our plumbing you'd being going to the Gyne tomorrow for the morning after pill and I'd be praying you weren't pregnant as I tied those pretty knees together. I'll be right back." In a flurry of pink nylon she was gone and returned as I was drying off. "Okay missy bend and spread those cute little butt cheeks," Mom said making Rhonda and Sandra giggle as mom spread a cream in and around my butt hole as I bent over. With a sharp slap on my butt she said, "Now missy, how do you like being a woman? An orgasm no less!" "Mom I'm so ashamed, yet I loved it. Remember how I felt with the doctor sticking his finger in there? Well I had pleasure this time; when Kyle touched my breasts it was like electric and my tingle grew. I mean it came wave after wave after it grew inside of me. It felt normal feeling Kyle's seed in me. I mean it did hurt at first but then I wanted him deeper and inside me. It was exciting being finally fulfilled. Mom what boy never had an erection at my age? Or a wet dream? I couldn't get hard even with a pretty nurse playing with me for a sperm sample. Mom does this mean I'm gay?" Mom took all of us into her arms and hugged us to her saying, "No not at all honey but your sweet little butt will comply to my rules just as Sandra does. As far as sex goes, I don't want my daughters being promiscuous; I don't want them getting a reputation for being easy. I want them to be good girls, get married, love their husbands and have kids or adopt." We went back to the living room after putting on nightgowns or pajamas and robes. Kyle and I sat on the floor with Sandra and Patrick. With mom and dad's permission Patrick was allowed to stay over for the night while the three of us went to Sandra's room with all of us sharing the bed. Gee I wonder who was in the middle? Now I know how the cream filling feels in a cake, smothered. The day of the dance was maddening with mom throwing the men out of the house and the bathroom was ours to enjoy and relax in. We relaxed around the house in loungers and robes until Marjorie arrived with some of the girls from the beauty salon. Mom was concerned at first because of the cost but was assured that Gwen our benefactor, Kyle's mother had taken care of everything. We weren't rich but lived comfortably within our means but this pampering was opulent and extravagant to mom and Sandra; this to me was a new experience. We were all partially dressed when the guys returned forcing us to scurry to get robes on. It wasn't a question of modesty it was that the guys couldn't keep their hands off us seeing us in our lingerie. It felt good to be able to sit around in just our lingerie as our hair and makeup was being done and redone. All but one beautician left us and she washed, trimmed and styled the guy's hair tidying it up for them as we put our gowns on. Putting on the satin opera gloves, Marjorie handed each of us a jewelry case which on opening made us all gasp in surprise. "Ladies, that's your final accessories other then the shawls. Gwen and Bart told me to tell all of you to have a good night and enjoy yourselves. Oh by the way of the jewelry and the clothes are yours to keep," Marjorie said as she helped us to put on the jewelry. This took us all by surprise as we never expected anything more than wearing these clothes. Being younger our jewelry was a fairly large stone matching the color of our gowns set in a gold setting as a pendant on a gold chain. There was also a pair of pendant earrings, a bracelet, cocktail ring and anklet. Mom's jewelry was more dramatic as she was the oldest and the mother. Her necklace had multiple large dark blue stones in a gold setting forming a choker, her other jewelry was basically the same as ours. My jewelry was emerald, Sandra's was ruby, Rhonda was amber and Mom was sapphire and diamond. After that I don't know what my feelings were as I was taken to a mirror to view myself with mom and sis behind me. It just wasn't the same person that stood there looking into the mirror that I'd seen before. The woman standing there was not a male and not a youngster, but a stately young woman. Wide eyed and beyond exciting and recherch?, she was heaven sent to make a man's dreams come true. Blinking my eyes I saw her eyes blink and then I smiled at her, which she returned shamelessly. "Yes dear she's all you, now are we ready to join our men?" mom asked smiling as she sprayed me with perfume and placed a feathered mask on a stick into my hand Then she handed me a satin, beaded bag purse onto my wrist with a fan. The Halloween Party and dance was a success and so were we as we took first prize for the most original and best costumes. I had to admit I'd never had as much fun or have ever danced as much as I did. I was thankful to mom and Marjorie for the dancing lessons along with having me get used to the high heels as I danced the night away with the many men that were there; much to the envy of many of the young women and wives that attended. Alas the ball ended and Cinderella had to go home with her Prince Charming, Kyle. The only difference between Cinders and I was; I didn't lose my shoe. I was still on a high as we pulled into the restaurant parking lot that Libby's parents owned. We were the first couples to enter when Libby acting as the hostess saw me, screamed and ran toward us saying, "Oh Edith, I've missed you so much at school. Damn you're hot! I wish I could look half as good." Now if you believe that crap I have a swamp I need to sell you quick. Libby is a shorter version of Rhonda about five foot seven inches tall and a body that made men beg and girls cry. While talking to her I noticed my opponent from school was there with several of his cronies observing us all very closely. Libby seated Kyle and rejoined me at the door as we both went to the powder room making sure we were being watched. Libby and I freshened up and left giving those boys a good look when I stopped and turned toward them saying, "Lance Taggert my dear, put your eyes back into your head darling, as you'll never ever get a woman, any woman." As I stroked his face with my gloved hand I poured a glass of water into his crotch and onto the erection that he sported, with the other hand, causing the boys at the table to laugh. "You Bitch! I ought to..." "I highly doubt that, but you can leave and never come back. Just you Lance. Your friends can stay." Libby said with Kyle, Patrick and Mitch immediately behind us. Chapter 2 I awoke as the water became colder. Draining the tub as I got up out of the water, I then dried, powdered and put my nightwear and slippers on. I went out into my suite. After brushing out my hair I called room service and ordered a meal with a full bottle of wine. While waiting I unpacked my laptop and booted it up plugging it into the phone jack on the wall. Contacting my ISP I downloaded my email and began to review all my messages that I had neglected to do for a few days. There were several from Mom, Sandra, and Rhonda so I decided to call them after I ate. Leaving the computer at the desk I unpacked several of my bags until there was a knock and an announcement of room service. On opening the door the poor kid seemed to have lost his voice until I realized I was practically nude in front of him wearing a black diaphanous peignoir and laced panties along with black, satin-wedged mules. In placing the cart and tray I saw the kid was ready for action, I was tempted, but I gave him a generous gratuity and let him make his way back to Betty Rose or whatever his girlfriend's name was. I wasn't about to tip him twice. The food was good, as I ate slowly but it wasn't like my own cooking or mom's cooking. I savored the wine then I dialed mom's telephone number, letting it ring until she answered, "Edith, Do I have to beg you to call me? You have a cell phone and that's not even on. You have email you never answer." "Mom please, I'm at the next job site but I took two weeks off as compensatory time. I was going to come home..." "Now listen to me Edith, your father and I are coming there. We'll see you tomorrow baby. We love you dear," Mom said and then she hung up. What the hell was that all about? How can mom and dad come here when they don't know where the hell I'm staying? Why wouldn't they let me come home? Did I give them my traveling itinerary and forget? Damn I must be getting senile! Maybe Sandra knows what the hell is going on? So I dialed her house and Patrick answered, "Hi Auntie Edith your niece says hi and your sister is out shopping as usual." "She's as bad as mom and daddy at babysitting?" I said laughing, as I got comfortable, tucking my legs underneath me. "Sure, I can change her and everything, well almost everything, Carla misses mommy's milk unless Auntie Edith would like to volun.........." "Patrick don't you dare start that shit." "Well they are the same size as Sandi's and Mom's breasts so, Carla would love and appreciate it." "I won't discuss this subject any further you pig, tell Sandi to call me at the Holiday Suites. Tell her that I took two weeks off." I said giving him the telephone number before I hung up with him laughing. I then tried to call Mitch and Rhonda but there wasn't any answer. I left a message on their machine and hung up. For the next several hours I caught up on my weekly site reports and expense reports as I managed to relax, sip my wine and send in all the reports via email. That was when I received the email message from the corporate office that I was to call the site office immediately. I angrily fired back an email, 'no, I'm on vacation and that the problem could wait.' After I sent off the message I read the header and then I realized that I'd screwed up. It was from the Admin Assistant for the C.E.O. and I realized that I was big, deep, shit now. Now how do you spell fired? I wrote another email stating I needed a brief rest for a few days after the last assignment but I would telephone them and to disregard my last message as I'd made a mistake. Maybe I just pulled my sweet little ass out of the fire without the singe marks? Then I went to lie down on the bed watching television. While watching some inane movie about a prom, my mind drifted off and I shut my eyes. Kyle and I were in his home one afternoon after my classes at college. I took the GED the year before and was accepted to State majoring in business and fashion design. I was dressed in jeans, a pink sweatshirt, pink socks and sneaks. Along with other areas my breast size had increased so I was now a C cup. I was being tutored by Kyle as usual and it was then we tutored each other in other areas. We somehow wound up in his mother and father's bed for an afternoon delight when his mother walked in on us. She knew we were sexually experimenting and that we were active. It was just we were never caught until then by her. I was so embarrassed when I heard and saw the door open with Gwen peering inside seeing us enjoined. She didn't say a word and closed the door to leave us alone. Her face was expressionless. The one thing I will say is I had a feeling Gwen was going to call my mom and that I would be grounded for life for breaking her rules. It was too late for regrets but we were committed in our sharing act of love to its orgasmic completion. Entwined in each others arms we lay onto the bed and held each other when Gwen came in saying, "Kyle please go take a shower while Edith and I talk and get her cleaned up." There wasn't any argument as he ran stark assed naked to his own room with Gwen saying, "He's as much of a slob as his dad. Are you sure that you can and want to love a slob?" Gwen asked handing me a robe from her closets. "Mom, I'm so sorry we used your room. I told him we shouldn't but the next thing I knew I was deep in the thrills." I said as I put on the robe and slippers she handed me. Then helped her to clean up our mess, not realizing that both sets of clothes went down the laundry chute. "He was certainly deep. Now young lady lets get you cleaned up and we can talk while you and I share a bath." She was so calm and had an air of dignity about her. I probably would have freaked if I saw my son drilling for Brown Gold in another boy's butt leaving an explosive deposit behind. The hot water was running into her sumptuous sunken bathtub with her adding all manner of perfumed oils to the water. She helped me take off the robe, putting my hair up on the top of my head and then she began to remove her clothes. Finally disrobed, she took my arm escorting me into the hot swirling water to sit, with the water up to our necks I closed my eyes and loosened up. "Edith Darling, Carla, your mother and my best friend, have been speaking, we are very concerned about you. I do know about the rules that you are to abide by and flaunt constantly, in all our faces. I do know that Kyle has been in love with you and we do know how hard it's been for you to adjust. Is that why you're rebelling?" "I don't know, what I do know is I have a chorus singing in my head, please don't look at me like that, I'm not crazy. That chorus is my old male self, drowning out my new life. If I dress femininely to the hilt or have sex, damn they drive me up a wall and then the feminine side takes over controlling everything. I feel I'm normal with Kyle. Then I feel that I am a part of the female world. When we make love I'm truly happy that we shared our love and when we finish I feel so dirty, so deprecated. "I'm so tired of the doctors, the shrinks and their placating words of sympathy along with their puzzlement. Mom and dad have bills coming out of their butts because of me. I hear the whispers of former schoolmates calling me those hateful, despicable words of sissy, faggot or shemale, when I see them. Kyle has been around for me just as you all have..." I lost it all then but as I cried Gwen moved over to me hugging me to her breast. "Edith darling, please listen to me like you used to do. First that chorus has to be nullified by you and only you. By your actions your mother, your sister, sister in law and I see you as nothing but a young woman even if she's a morally impaired young woman. "Those doctor bills have been taken care of by Bart and I, with your mother and my best friend coming to help me in my business. People will always be cruel, they fear what they have no knowledge of, either ignore those people or tell them like it is. Now I'm really stepping out on a limb, Kyle would like you to be his date for the prom." I guess I failed to point out that Ronni and Mitch eloped without anyone supposedly knowing what they did. The marriage was also supposed to be a secret from everyone but we all knew and told mom and dad that they would have to tell us when they were ready. "Prom! Me? Why me? He has the opportunity to go with any real girl he wants." I said sitting up in the tub straight. "Darling you are a real girl to him, us, your family and everyone close to you. If Kyle was to come ask his father and I to accept you as his wife and our daughter in law you bet we would but with one condition, for us to be grandparents," Gwen said holding me closer to her and kissing my forehead. "Mom thanks, but marriage, children, not yet; or at least I hope not yet. Against my better judgment, I will go to the prom but I can't afford everything." I said after the cheers of the chorus died a bit down in my head. One thing about Kyle's parents were that had money but they did not believe in flaunting their wealth in other people's faces. "Oh yes you can darling, I know you can sue me but every picture we took with our designs helped to further enhance the credibility of not only my designing ability but get the company new and larger accounts. Okay I forgot to pay you as the model and spokeswoman but I did put the money away for you for college and for other things you'd need in a trust fund. How did you figure your parent's were paying for your courses at state? "Gwen said smiling. "College, I never gave it much thought, sure junior college was a stepping stone that I could afford. Those dress designs were all your creative ability..." "Sure, but it took the young woman wearing them to sway the accounts and that was you sweetheart." Gwen said just as there was a knock on the bathroom door and Kyle walking in and Gwen saying, "Did I say you could come in? No! Now park that butt and ask your girlfriend to the prom Kyle." "Mother! What's the big deal? I've seen you both in the raw. Oh the Prom, I forgot, ah...Edith will you go? I know mom already told you, please?" I saw poor Kyle's discomfort with Gwen saying, "Yeah and you two did more than look, which was evident by the condition of my bed along with your state of nakedness." "Sorry mom, I'll take the heat for what we did but Edith hasn't answered me, please?" "Kyle Thompson, after what we have gone through together your mother has to ask me to be your date? I am not pleased at all about this, but for you my dear loving friend, always at my side .........Yes! Now get the hell out of here so we can get dressed," I said smiling. I threw a washcloth at him, as he went running and yelling happily from the bathroom, through the house. Gwen added, "That was cruel adopted daughter of mine, very cruel. But that's okay I do the same to his father, he'll get over it." "And whom do you think I learned it from? I learned it from every female, not as a controlling device but to tease them," I said smiling as we left the tub, dried off and powdered each other. Going out into the bedroom Gwen went into high speed when she realized she placed my clothes into the wash with Kyle's clothes. I was taken into another room adjacent to the bedroom that was set up as a design and photography studio. "Darling, I've always wanted a daughter to share the things I have and you my dear are her. From now on, you will work for me as my publicity spokeswoman and to celebrate we're all going out to dinner. You will only wear what I design, as will your Mother, Rhonda and Sandra," Gwen said as she busied herself gathering lingerie and clothing and taking me back to her room. It seemed strange that Gwen knew my sizes and was prepared with even the right bra and panty sizes but then since my first Halloween she seemed to keep track as my body grew. I was in sensory heaven as I wore for first time her creations that were in the finest of emerald green lace and silk lingerie. The panties, garter belt and bra were of delicate silk and sheer lace, the half-slip and camisole was green silk with white lace. The stockings were seamless of sheer silk that sent me into shock as I drew them up my legs. The skirt suit I was handed was green linen that was embroidered and cut out to form patterns and designs and to show the briefest glimpse of my lingerie and entice every male near me. The skirt was tight in all the right places as I zipped it up at the back noticing that the hem was just above the knee. The jacket was long sleeved, slightly long and stopped at the hem of my skirt. The buttoning in front showed vast amounts of cleavage leaving nothing to a man's imagination as to what this woman's breasts looked like or their size. My shoes were made of sexy green satin at the toe with a bow and fastened at the ankle with a three-inch heel. When my hair, nails and makeup were finished it was the first time in years the chorus was quiet until a green bow was added to my hair and the complete works of emerald jewelry was added from my ankle to the pendant emeralds in my ears. At my throat was a diamond and emerald choker and on my right ring finger was a diamond and emerald cocktail ring but Gwen shocked me by giving me another ring for my left ring finger that was encrusted with baget diamonds and emeralds with the center jewel a blue-white heart shaped cut diamond. "That was my mother's engagement ring and just a fraction of her jewelry you're wearing dear. I want you to have it all from me, you see I made a promise to my mother before she died I'd give it all her jewelry to my daughter and you Edith are my daughter." "I can't accept any of it. I mean it was your mother's jewelry, the sentimentality of it must be overwhelming." "Sorry darling it's all yours, I made a promise and you're my daughter so don't argue with your mother, well adopted mother anyway." Gwen said as she hugged me dressed to the nines in her cross-backed crepe column dress with the front slit. "Young lady I told you my rules, I'm not only angry but disappointed with you. Your father is livid and is speaking to Kyle at this very moment, if he had it his way you'd be walking down that aisle all in white." "But I'm not..." "Bull, if you can enjoy male companionship and have sex as a woman then guess what...you are a woman! As of this day you will dress in whatever Gwen, Marjorie, Sandra and I say you will dress in, no more of this androgynous stuff you've been wearing. Look at how beautiful you are." Mom and Gwen escorted me to the mirror with Gwen adding a dramatic portrait hat with a wide brim of green linen and a satin hatband, bow and brim binding. Damn, it looked sophisticated as she placed hatpins at strategic spots to make certain the hat remained on my head. Mom handed me green satin wrist length gloves and a green evening bag. "She does look elegant, the men will go nuts," Gwen said. "Oh no, not again!" I said as I began to strip out of the clothes when both women stopped me in my demented state. "Listen missy you will go out with us attired as you are. You will enjoy yourself and let all the men adore and fantasize about you. Damn it, if you can enjoy sex as a woman, then why can't you enjoy being a woman?