Orb and Prophecy Prophecy Part 10 of about 13
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Orb And Prophecy: Decision (Part 7 Of About 13) free porn video
"The first thing you have to learn," said Marcus, "is how not to fight in
that body. You're going to have to unlearn some of what you used to do as
a man. I don't have to tell you what's different; you just need practice."
We were standing among bales of hay in an unused barn, about halfway
between Alwyn's and Marcus's homes. I had my hair tied back for training
this morning, but at least I didn't have to wear that unsightly kerchief
on my head that I wore on the street, or soil my face as I often did. "You
know, Marcus, I've never fought a woman, and I've never trained one to
fight. Have you?"
"No, this will be a first for me. I'm hoping you knew some skills as a man
that didn't depend entirely on strength. If not, I can show you some. Are
you ready?"
I hesitated. "I guess this means I'm supposed to fight you now--for the
practice, that is."
"That's right." He was in a ready crouch.
I wasn't so ready myself, though. "Oh, Marcus, I don't know if I can do
it! I've sparred with a lot of men in my life, but this is... this is so
different!" I really was confused. I hated the weakness in my body, and I
hated knowing Moranna had turned me this way, but I wasn't at all sure I
was unhappy about being a woman with Marcus nearby, knowing there would be
some contact coming soon--even if it wasn't the kind I had started to
dream of.
"Are you afraid I'll hurt you?" he asked.
"No! I mean, yes! I mean..."
He straightened up. "It's the man-woman thing, isn't it?"
"Well, yes. I mean, it just doesn't seem..."
"I know. It doesn't seem right to me, either. I only volunteered to do
this because I thought it would help you."
"We'll have to find another way to help me, then. I just can't bring
myself to do this. I'm not the same kind of person I was."
Marcus grinned at me as we moved to sit on bales of hay, facing each
other. "I guess I'm relieved--I've never fought a woman--not even one who
used to be a conquering general! Of course, I want you to be ready for
whatever may happen to you. But I have to agree it doesn't seem right. But
tell me, if you don't mind--you said you're not the same kind of person
you were. Some of the change is obvious, but seeing you like this, I can't
even imagine what you were before, not even with all the stories you've
told my son. What kind of person were you?"
"I was a man! I was strong, I was a leader! I fought, I conquered, nations
feared me, my men loved me, and a few women did too. Oh, I loved it! You
know what it's like, though, don't you? You're strong; you're a leader,
too..."
"Well, no. I mean, what I don't get is, why? If I heard the story right,
things were pretty bloody when you took over your country. Then you
invaded another one. Why did you have to do that? Why not be content with
what you had?"
"I had a conversation like this with Alwyn not long ago," I sighed. "I
never expected she would understand the answer, Marcus, but I thought you
would."
"No, I don't think I do."
"Are you sure? You see, I told her about the glory a man feels when he
uses his strength, when he shows what he's made of. And I think you know
about that--you're strong, you're not afraid to use it."
"And what does a man use his strength for?"
"He uses it for-- for-- well, you know--to win. The strongest prevails!"
"No, Marisa, I don't see it that way at all. Yes, the strong often
prevail, and we're suffering under a woman who lives by that creed. You
speak glory. I think the glory of a man is to use his strength, but not
for himself. If he does, he gets all cooped up inside himself, and if
there's any glory there at all, it only shines as far as the inside of his
skin. Outside it's pretty dark. If he uses his strength for others, it
shines out all over."
"It never seemed that way to me."
"I don't think General Winterhorn ever spent enough time with people like
Jakob. Sure, I know it's a great feeling to be with a group of men who
fight for each other, who learn to respect and love each other through
days of marching and camping and fighting. It's a kind of glory, in a way.
And if you win, that feels great, too, since you're on top. But look at
Moranna: she's on top here. Would you call that glory?"
"Of course not. She's a wicked beast!"
"Don't you think the people you fought might have felt the same way about
you?"
That brought me up short. I had no answer for a long time. I had been
looking forward to spending some time close with Marcus, but this wasn't
going at all the way I had expected.
Finally, I spoke up. I was pretty sure my tone of humility was genuine.
"I've changed now. You believe that, don't you?"
"You have changed. In a lot of ways. One of them is that you don't have a
shred of power now. But you're going to get it back. Have changed enough
to keep from turning into another Moranna?"
"That's what everyone's afraid about, isn't it?
He nodded somberly. "Yes, you're right. There are too many people who
don't know anything but fear." He stood up. "Come on, let's go see Jakob."
Following him out of the barn and into the sun, my mood brightened. I
asked playfully, "Do you suppose any of your neighbors have wondered about
this woman who has been visiting you so often?"
"They're pretty far away my house, they probably haven't noticed. But I
hope you have that kerchief with you for your head. I wouldn't want them
all to know how pretty you really are!"
"Why, I believe you just paid me a compliment, Mr. Marcus," I beamed.
"I believe I did, Miss Marisa."
We were silent the rest of the way. Regretfully, I tied up my hair as he
had reminded me to do. I wished he would reach out to hold my hand.
********
My time with Jakob did not go as well as usual. Marcus's presence was
distracting me more than in my previous visits, and though I gave a
valiant effort toward focusing on Jakob, he could probably sense something
was amiss. After an awkward hour, I returned to Alwyn's home--I was
starting to think of it as my home now--feeling turmoil. I was still
beaming inwardly at learning Marcus considered me nice-looking. Moranna
may have been responsible for it, but I was still glad he saw me that way.
That one compliment was as close as he seemed to want to get to me,
though. His words about my life as Winterhorn stung. I wanted to believe I
was different now, inside as well as outside, but was I? What would I do
when I had another taste of power? As Winterhorn, had I been as entirely
self-centered as it now seemed? It was hard to escape that conclusion. I
did not sleep well that night.
I was kept awake in part by what I had learned from Alwyn that day. I had
completely underestimated the woman. Why had she waited so long to tell me
her story? It wasn't a matter of security in the Council. I had to
conclude that she wanted me to get to know her as a simple woman, to make
a friendship without the strangeness of her history clouding the
relationship. And to see if I would really become a friend on the basis of
her being a simple old woman.
Simple she was not. I replayed the conversation in my mind. We were
sitting outside, overlooking the garden behind her house.
"They said you were a magic user, Alwyn?" I posed it as a question.
"I was." She stood up, went to the garden and pulled a few small weeds; I
followed her. Maybe she preferred that I not see her eyes at that point.
The more she talked, the more I realized how much disappointment and pain
there was in her story.
"I was indeed a magic user," she repeated, then paused and looked up at
me. "Yellow."
I can't imagine the look of shock she must have seen on my face at that.
Her power had been equal to Moranna's! She continued before I could
collect myself to respond.
"I was born with a great deal of power. My parents were wise. The power
did not develop until I was in my teens--maybe we didn't tell you this,
but that is the way it is with all magic users. There were hints of my
magic, but no other magic user could see my aura, so they knew it must be
strong. So they knew of my potential--and the risks that it carried--and
they encouraged me to keep it hidden. Moranna had already been in power
longer than any of us could remember. Sometimes I wonder if she had found
a way to erase everyone's memory of life before she was in power. I kept
my magic secret for many years, but I practiced and trained. I wanted to
make sure I was really ready when I faced her.
"Finally the day came. It was not a long confrontation, I'm sad to say. I
came on Moranna by surprise. I had never heard of a protection spell; I
thought I could overcome her with one simple attack. It didn't work. The
spell I cast at her simply faded away as it approached. I'll never forget
the look Moranna gave me then, though. She was terrified to meet another
yellow magic user. She knew what it took to beat me; she had that much
more experience. But she was careless, and she made a mistake of her own.
She said, 'You cannot approach me! You cannot approach the city! My women
and I will have nothing further to do with you!' Anyway, I could feel
myself being driven away from her, away from the city. I thought she would
crush me next, and I think she tried. But she had trapped herself: She
said she would have nothing further to do with me, and that meant she
couldn't cast another spell on me. A spell like that is usually
reversible, but I guess something about my own yellow magic combined with
it and made it stick."
"So you've never been back?"
"I've never again been near the city. I was driven out forever. My magic
soon dried up, and it has never returned. I'm just a simple old woman
now."
"How long ago was this, Alwyn?"
"It was a long time ago. Over 55 long years."
For the first time--how could I have missed it all these weeks?--I noticed
a very faint yellow glow on Alwyn. The magic was still upon her.
----------------------
Laying awake that evening, I could not stop thinking of what Alwyn had
told me. I had never guessed the patience she had had to practice, the
pain of being pushed away, and the frustration of coming close to victory,
yet being repelled. I could not imagine five or more such decades, even
good ones. To wait for so long in continuing defeat was incomprehensible
to me. She had never acted as though defeated, though; that was what
really amazed me. She had a quality of character such as I had never
encountered.
I felt off-balance the next morning. Then I discovered that yesterday's
conversations were not the only thing reason. I met Alwyn in the kitchen
with these wry words: "Do you remember when you said I have a lot yet to
learn about being a woman? I'm learning one more of those things today,
and I can't say I really like it. I think I need some advice."
I was speaking in code, but Alwyn read it easily. "I've been wondering
when this would come. Welcome to the monthly club! It's been a while since
I've been in it myself--one of the advantages of age you may appreciate
someday--but I have some supplies ready for you. Just remember--it's
perfectly normal."
"That's easy for you to say," I thought. I tried to take it in stride, but
it was really distasteful to me, on my first experience of a period.
Moranna hadn't given me enough magical preparation for this! It was a
trying day, especially after not getting enough sleep. I needed to talk--
something that seemed more often true of me now than it had been before my
change--and I was grateful Alwyn was there to listen.
"I had a kind of hard conversation with Marcus yesterday about my life as
a man. I guess you all think I was not a very likable character."
"What do you think?"
I was half laughing and half annoyed when I answered, "You know, Alwyn,
once yesterday, you actually gave a direct answer to a question I asked. I
thought maybe you were starting a new habit--but then, maybe not."
She picked up on my humor with a smile. "I'm sorry I've frustrated you,
Marisa. I just think that sometimes what you discover for yourself is a
lot more helpful than anything I could tell you. But since you asked, I'll
give you a frank answer: I don't think much at all of someone who thinks
that what it means to be a man is to go around starting trouble just to
add to his power and prestige."
"I think I'm awfully lucky not to be a man anymore, don't you?" I was
expecting Alwyn to agree heartily, and I was taken aback by the dark
furrowing of her brow.
"I think a great deal of you, Marisa, but I hope you overcome Winterhorn's
faults. Someday it will be far more important than you could realize now."
Another indirect answer. I took a guess at what it meant: "You're
referring to that mysterious Prophecy again that you won't tell me, aren't
you?"
"Yes, that is what I'm referring to. In due time you will know it; in due
time."
"In due time! Alwyn, you keep saying that! But all I do is wait!"
I felt a tightening in my chest and moisture in my eyes, as tiredness and
frustration overtook me. "When will this be over? I don't care if I'm a
woman or a man, I just want to have a quiet life and not have to face
things like a horrible witch for a queen, or a boy who has been bewitched
into misery, or being so all-fired important to all of you. I just want to
have a home and a life and be done with it all!" My eyes overflowed into
sobbing, and I fell into Alwyn's comforting arms. She was silent with me
for a long time.
"I could wish the same for you, Marisa. You have become my friend. You
don't seem to have that option, though, do you?"
"Oh, I could just get on my ship and go somewhere--but not like this!" I
gestured down toward my body. "And more than that, the problem is, I'm
really starting to care! I'm sure Jakob's life isn't the only one she's
ruined. I can't even imagine--I'm almost afraid to ask--what else has she
done to this country?"
"She has done a lot of damage. There are many disfigured children like
Jakob, and many Marcuses who have lost their wives, and many Alwyns who
have lost their husbands, all to the whims of a power-mad ruler." I
started at this other new revelation that had just slipped out of her.
"You lost your husband? When will you be done surprising me with these
things?! I'm so very sorry, Alwyn. What did she do to him?"
I had never seen anything but serenity in Alwyn's face--until now. Alwyn
was not trying to fight the frown from appearing; she let her eyes glisten
with incipient tears. "It was many, many years ago, and," Alwyn broke off.
"I-- I don't think I can tell you more right now." I looked deep in her
eyes and began sobbing again, for another's pain and not my own. That was
yet another new experience in my life, and it didn't feel all bad.
That night was no better than the previous one. I lay awake, tormented
with thoughts of how Alwyn would have felt about me if I had come raiding
in the way I planned. Alwyn's house might have been burned; Marcus might
have died in battle. I felt sick inside. "I've got to do something to show
them--and to show myself--that I'm different now! I'm not that power-mad
tyrant any longer, and they need to understand it. I can care for other
people!"
My thoughts turned over and over, trapping me in wakefulness; but they
bore fruit in a plan during the very early morning hours. There was
something I could do, right now! I didn't need to wait for their plan! I
lay there yet a while longer working through the details in my mind, then
mercifully, I fell asleep until sunrise. I put on my plain clothes and
kerchief as usual, and set off as though walking toward Marcus and Jakob's
home. This time, though, I was carrying a bag with food from the kitchen
and a few other supplies, and a flask full of water. Once out of sight of
Alwyn's home, I took a turn toward the city.
Elissa
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