King & Country (part 1)
By Miss K
Prologue: Tangier.. Heathrow.. Vauxhall
I heard the sea breaking below my window just before dawn and woke. I
knew I was to fly back to London that morning. My leave of absence was
over and I was to return to work. I lay in bed, feeling the grumble in
my belly and rubbing the stubble on my chin from three days' growth.
The heat was rising now, inexorably moving the coolness of the night
aside as the blinds rippled in the rising haze.
I raised myself up, wincing from the pain in my side, and drew the
blinds and sat, watching the sun rise slowly over the rim of the bay,
the smells of the waking souks spiralling up through the stillness of
the morning air.
Sweat sprang over my body as the temperature climbed, and I watched a
gecko scuttle over the plaster ceiling, little sticky toes, as I lit my
last cigarette. I closed my eyes.
Seven hours later, I was stepping onto the tarmac of a rainswept
Heathrow apron.
Henderson awaited me.
"Afternoon, Commander," he said, flipping me a sheaf of papers, "and
welcome home, sir. How was Tangier? You're fully recovered, I hope,
sir."
I grunted a noncommittal reply and took the papers. Just the usual port
of entry documents. As a member of His Majesty's Secret Service, it was
customary to bypass the usual immigration channels when re-entering
Britain. I signed the papers without studying them and handed them
back. Henderson led me back to his parked department Mondeo. I eschewed
the front seat and clambered in the back, allowing him to take my bags.
The journey up the M4 was punctuated only by the metronome of the
windscreen wipers and the spark of my duty-frees; every time I lit one,
apparently oblivious of the sign on his dash that read 'thank you for
not smoking', I took pleasure in seeing the back of Henderson's neck
stiffen. It was a way of kicking downwards in the pettiest possible
way, just as I fully expected would happen to me back at Vauxhall.
At Heston, we pulled in to take on fuel.
The rain was increasing; the sky brightening behind us, to the West,
but London to the East was obscured by sheets of darkness.
***
I sat opposite Doctor Amanda Marsden, head of 'M' Branch, watching her
read through my report for the third time. She closed the file and
paused. At length, she stood and walked over to the large bay window
overlooking the Thames, so she stood framed by light, her back to me.
She clasped her hands behind her, and finally spoke.
"Thank you for your report, Pierce. Very thorough. Very interesting"
She turned to look at me. I could make out nothing in her expression.
"I had the opportunity to glance over your service record earlier this
morning," she continued, walking back to sit and face me, her heels
clicking over the oak flooring.
"Lieutenant Commander Anthony Pierce. Age 32. Honours in Artificial
Intelligence, Imperial College, London. Top of 1998 graduate pool at
the Royal Navy Officer Training College, Dartmouth. Rose to become
youngest head of the cryptography division of the RN Communication
Corps within two years and subsequently transferred to the 'service' at
my predecessor's request."
She opened up her laptop and punched a couple of keys, viewing God
knows what about me, or nothing to do with me at all, perhaps.
"Notable successes included the decoding of the Santander armament
cartel encryption key algorithms, leading to information which proved
crucial in the seizure of 20 kilos of Uranium intended for Russian
Mafia use on Merseyside in December 2005. You requested transfer to
field ops in 2008 and completed basic in six months. Transferred to 'M'
division in November 2010, where you received your license to kill and
took over as agent 004 in early 2012."
She looked up.
"You've shown yourself to be dedicated, self- motivated and ruthless in
the execution of your license to kill. In short, 004, you were a high-
flyer in the department."
Here it comes...
I listened to Marsden's measured breath as she again consulted her
screen. She typed a few words and hit the 'send' button, then raised
her eyes.
I met them.
"I'm debriefing you personally, Lieutenant Commander Pierce, because
your failure to complete your mission has not only jeopardised our
chances of retrieving the goods in question, but your actions have
severely compromised the cover of many of our people in the field.
We've been receiving fragments of encrypted material that your home
team has been sifting; we believe that they indicate that Lime has been
compelled to break cover and make a border run. We also know that
Hignett is dead and of Section Chief Grice we have no intelligence."
I endeavoured to maintain eye contact with her, but this information
was causing a spiralling sink to drain in the pit of my stomach.
Marsden continued.
"These events have all been precipitated by your break of cover and
subsequent extraction by 'F for Freddie'."
She paused again, looking intently into my eyes.
I finally dropped my gaze for a moment, then met it again with
resolution. I took a breath.
"I accept full responsibility, ma'am. I will, of course immediately
tender my resignation."
Marsden smiled tartly.
"I'm afraid not, Pierce. That would be contrary to our interests and
for you, if I may be permitted a clich?, an easy way out."
She decisively closed her flip terminal and pressed the tips of her
fingers together. When she next spoke, I knew I was expected to give my
life for my country.
"We're going to reinsert you."
***
As I drove to the 'Q' Branch facility in Oxfordshire, my mind mulled
over the contents of the rest of my debrief. 'M' had informed me that I
was 'dead' - standard operational procedure for field agents whose
cover had been compromised during the course of an uncompleted
assignment. I had signed the release papers and was now effectively at
the mercy of His Majesty's Government with all its vagaries and whims;
to refuse to comply now would be seen as treasonous and punishable in
suitable fashion. I was to be allocated a new identity and reinserted
into the operation in Japan; the precise details remained opaque.
I was to be briefed by an unidentified superior upon reaching Bicester.
***
ONE: Biscester, Oxfordshire...
'Q' branch Special research facility
A 'Q' branch man called Dennis met me in the anonymous looking waiting
room of the divisional facility. Like all really top secret
establishments, it was hidden in plain view, in this case in the cover
of a large and rambling country house in four acres of deciduous
British woodland. A couple of semi- retired agents ran it as a
perfectly normal house and answered the door to me as if I was a long
awaited friend.
The pretence was short-lived and they had soon ushered me into the
cellar. As the cellar door shut behind me, I saw a man dressed
identically to me take his leave, and soon after, the sound of my
department car being driven away.
At the bottom of the cellar was a two way airlock door hidden behind a
false brick party wall.
Penetrating this facade led me to the waiting room and the waiting Mr.
Dennis.
Dennis appeared to be the personification of the waiting room, carrying
as he did no perceptible hint of personality or character save the
faint whiff of detergent and antiseptic, as well as the slightly shabby
air of a well thumbed Sunday supplement. He had an irritating and
apparently unnecessary habit of pushing his completely immobile black
rimmed glasses back onto his face with his middle finger and a definite
problem with pronouncing the letter 'r'. He was as anonymous as this
facility, with it's air of cleanliness and its look, positioned
somewhere in- between lab complex and industrial park unit. A faint but
pervasive reek of disinfectant was the only thing that distinguished it
from the IT facility at Denham. The staff, from what I could see, were
all dressed in laboratory coats, and there seemed to be more than the
usual complement of clean areas, in which I glimpsed masked figures in
white one-piece overalls.
As we toured the facility, Dennis efficiently pointed out the various
amenities at my disposal, including a nautilus room, a swimming pool
and a well stocked library cum lounge, before conducting me to my
quarters. He left me, informing me that I would be collected for a
briefing and medical at 16:00. I glanced at my TAG. It was one thirty
in the afternoon.
***
After unpacking and familiarising myself with my drab confines -
"Holiday Inn for agoraphobes" - I left my room to wander and gain my
bearings. I very soon realised that there was a compelling reason for
the efficiency and brevity of Dennis' tour.
There was really very little freedom to be had for 004.
After a few fairly fruitless minutes peering in at various depressingly
restricted areas, I sat for a while in the deserted library, eating
some fresh fruit from the food dispenser (sadly no junk food in sight),
drinking spring water and leafing listlessly through a copy of Vogue
that had been left on the table. After contemplating a swim, I decided
against and went to the gym to try and loosen up. I returned to my room
and changed into sweat gear, and returned to the nautilus room, where I
was surprised to find I had a companion, an attractive young woman with
a fit air and a cascade of red curls surmounting a pretty freckled
face. She completed a set of bench presses as I began to go through
some stretches, and then looked up and smiled.
"Commander Pierce, isn't it?"
"That's right," I replied, unsurprised by her perspicacity.
She stood and extended a hand, which I shook, before climbing onto a
treadmill. She continued in a voice which carried a pleasant hint of
Irish.
"I'm Doctor Dwyer - Mary Dwyer". I nodded assent as she continued, "I'm
afraid we're going to be seeing rather a lot of each other. I'm on the
away team working on your reinsertion project."
At this, I looked up at her more closely, and smiled. "In which case, I
wish we could have met under more pleasant circumstances."
She moved onto a set of standing weights and started a rather radical
set as I went on, "I presume that there's to be some sort of plastic
surgery involved?"
"Yes..." She paused, finishing her set again before proceeding.
"There will be a fair amount of reconstructive work..." She paused
again and I was aware that she was looking over thoughtfully at me now,
examining where she had previously been conversing. Then she put down
the weights and stepped away from them, continuing in a more formal
fashion.
"You'll receive a full specification at your briefing this afternoon.
Speaking of which -" She glanced at the clock above the door "- I'd
better get going so I can go over the major points with the team before
Commander Bond briefs you."
I was surprised. "Bond's in charge here?"
She laughed. "No, no. But I understand that 'Mandy' Marsden's assigned
him to supervise your reinsertion project". She lowered her voice, her
eyes twinkling. "- which I gather he's none too pleased about. I don't
think Commander Bond's at all fond of 'Q' Branch."
With that, she turned and left. I watched her recede down the corridor
for a while, then turned back to the machines.
***
Commander Sir James Bond, VC, MBE, KCMG, perhaps the most celebrated,
certainly the most flamboyant of all the Cold War MI6 operatives, had
aged exceedingly well. The musculature was still evident under the
classic lines of the charcoal grey bespoke Hardy Amies suit; the silk
Old Etonian tie; the Alfred Dunhill cufflinks; the shock of silver hair
surmounting the deeply-lined but still strikingly handsome face with
those infamous steel grey eyes that had reputedly turned many a
beautiful spy's allegiance, not to mention her heart. A mythological
collage, or some sort of antediluvian PR spin? Perhaps. I had thought
so, but now, in his presence for the first time, I could see that his
equal reputations for charisma and cruelty were indeed founded in
reality.
Bond's evident displeasure at his current assignment didn't make the
briefing any more pleasant for me. He was flanked to his left by the
primly white- coated Dr. Dwyer and a middle aged Q Branch operative
called Easton, who did not utter a word during the whole two hour
meeting, but was constantly looking at me and tapping away at her flip
terminal. To his right was a young and dazzlingly beautiful brunette
called Miss Loth, who was clearly everything but, judging from the
obvious enthusiasm with which she took notes of the Commander's
utterances and leaned over to pass him various papers.
Bond wrapped up the formal introductions and stubbed out his third
Cartier of the session, smoked in flagrant disregard of the
overzealously deployed signage, and turned to face me.
"Well, Commander Pierce, I suppose you're wondering exactly how we're
intending to reinsert you into the situation in Fukui."
Bond proceeded at great length to brief the room on the strategic and
technological significance of the situation that had arisen in Japan,
which was an effective and calculated slap in the face for myself,
being the operative closest to the principals in the operation.
It had begun when we received a triple blind 128-bit encrypted message
via an anonymous server in New Zealand.
It arrived in a top secret ministerial eyes-only mailbox marked urgent,
which is why myself and my hastily hand picked away team had been
assigned to decrypt it. This happened in due course and the contents
and the implications had proven to be the proverbial dynamite.
The message was part of a string of secret correspondences between a
research Physicist at the MRC in Cambridge and a Japanese terrorist
organisation called the Red Fist of Justice, whose objective was to
bring about the total collapse of the Capitalist powers by a shady
process they called *attrition deconstruction*, whereby they would
systematically degrade and destroy European, Asian and American
civilisations through the continued supply of drugs, prostitution,
gambling and armaments and the active encouragement of military and
civil insurrection in sensitive areas.
Once the ordained collapse had been engineered, Red Fist argued, then
they would mobilise a global return to permanent Revolution, and the
second international Supreme Soviet would reign for eternity. The Red
Fist had storefronts everywhere, and links with the major crime lords
throughout the globe and, more dangerously still, was actively
bankrolling the expanding sphere of armed unrest in the former Soviet
bloc states. Being a diffuse and amorphous organisation made them
difficult to pin down, let alone prosecute, so any possible lead was
welcome.
The correspondence told how the MRC scientist, Professor Adrian Lime,
currently seen as the world's foremost authority in the burgeoning
field of molecular engineering, popularly referred to as
nanotechnology, and being a good Marxist with little regard for the
late capitalist landscape of Europe, was on the verge of agreeing to
sell his research on the applications of nanotech and brain chemistry
to the Red Fist.
Naturally, we stepped in and naturally, during the course of protracted
'negotiations', Lime conceptually re-defected, pledging undying
allegiance to the King and mammon. Having been "induced" to realise the
error of his ways, it was now put to him that he would be serving his
country best if he proceeded with the sale and, better still for the
technocracy of the Red Fist, agreed to a physical defection. It would
then be a matter of simplicity for Lime to insist on bringing his
brilliant young assistant (yours truly) with him on his journey.
The bait proved irresistible and soon Lime and I found ourselves in the
back of a Red Fist Mercedes on the way to our new accommodation on the
outskirts of Fukui, a bleak post-industrial coastal city pockmarked by
pollution and waste, where a Red Fist research complex had been set up.
I was detailed to break the ice surrounding Red Fist's mainframe and
squirt the data on their global whereabouts and operations back to
London, while Lime made suitably distracting foreground noises.
In any event, it all started promisingly, with Lime wowing the local
Red Fist commissars with some spectacular results using nanotech smart
drugs on several "volunteers".
This induced the Red Fist to work their hardest to procure many more
loyal 'volunteers' from the local community of petty criminals, failed
Red Fist-niks and the down and outs, and Lime kept them amused while I
made steady progress on the network security surrounding the Red Fist
central core. Two and a half months passed in this happy state.
Then the unhappy event happened.
I was close to securing the desired information when I saw the local
cell leader, a frighteningly efficient sadist called Sato, shepherding
the latest batch of volunteers into the complex. I was shocked to see
that among their number were Grice and Hignett, two agents with whom I
was familiar from the Osaka field office. My mistake was clear. I
reacted visibly, and Sato noticed.
I then made one of the most cowardly decisions in the history of
espionage. I collected all the data I had amassed, left the compound
directly after lunch, and requested extraction. Bond went to great
lengths to explain exactly what this action implied to the continuing
good health of Lime, Grice and Hignett. He was very emphatic on the
fact that I should not have left, but stayed and worked it out. But I
had seen one thing that he hadn't.
I had seen what Lime's smart drugs had done to the 'volunteers'. Now
they were going to send me back.
***
Having completed the ritual humiliation, Bond lit another Cartier and
prepared to continue. Dr. Dwyer looked a little bored and Miss Loth was
making coffee. Easton was still tapping into her terminal.
"As you'll no doubt have gathered, Pierce, an opportunity has emerged
which will allow for your reinsertion. You know the Fist systems better
than anyone else, which is why it has to be you." Bond smiled, showing
immaculate white teeth. "As you know, the Red Fist central committee
chairman has a private residence in the mountains down the China Sea
coast, which he visits at least once a month. He also entertains there
and his two children are there most of the time. The staff is all
female." He walked over to stand by Dr Dwyer. "Now, part of the cachet
with this place is that a lot of the staff are Western women. You can
probably understand why this is a big thing with the Fist, Pierce?"
I nodded.
"Now, obviously there is an extensive vetting process that goes on to
ensure that the girls he hires are clean. This is," he smiled again,
"where you come in. We've managed to place operatives in his screening
organisation here in London".
So that was it.
I was going to be helping insert a female agent into the Red Fist dacha
to spring a honey trap. It wasn't as bad as I'd feared. Just sit in an
enemy office in London and ensure that one of our agents was on the
next plane East. I stayed quiet and listened.
Bond lit another cigarette and exhaled a cloud of blue smoke.
Dwyer and Easton looked on expectantly.
When Bond next spoke, it was to utter the most surprising ten words I'd
ever heard in my entire life.
"You are going to become one of those girls, Pierce."
***
I must have sat in complete and stunned silence for quite a while as
Bond, who was clearly expecting a reaction, was forced to continue.
"Doctors Easton and Dwyer will be the principals you report to from now
on, Pierce. I'm also leaving Miss Loth here to help with your
reorientation. I'll return to finish your brief when your time here is
complete. To answer your question, that will be 120 days from
tomorrow."
He began to collect his papers, then looked up, with a faint smile on
that cruel, handsome mouth.
"Good luck, Pierce. It's an unusual mission."
With that, Commander Bond nodded smartly to Dwyer and Easton and left,
accompanied by Miss Loth.
For a moment, there was silence. I was unable to make eye contact with
Dwyer or Easton, nor make any sense of the thoughts tumbling freely
through my head. Finally, I rose.
"It's impossible!" I shouted. "How can you do what he said you were
going to do to me! I refuse to co-operate."
"I'm afraid the release you signed at Vauxhall leaves you with very
little option, Commander, as you well know," said a voice from the
doorway. It was Miss Loth, re- entering the room with a clipboard and a
quietly efficient air quite at remove from that she had exhibited in
Bond's company.
Sadly, she was right. I had signed my life away in a few seconds of
remorse. I felt a bitter coldness churn in my belly when I realised
quite how skilfully 'M' had manipulated my guilt this morning.
I sat down again, and tried to gather myself. I looked up at Loth, who
was smiling quite pleasantly at me.
"So what happens? Am I going to have a sex change? Is that it? Then
what? I'm not sure that a whore in the Red Fist dacha's going to have
much access to sensitive information-" I choked as I realised what I
was saying.
"Is that what I'm going to become..?" I buried my face in my hands,
unable to continue.
Loth came over and put her hand on my shoulder, knelt by my face, and
spoke in a surprisingly sensitive tone.
"I'm sorry. I really am, but it's been decided that operational details
such as those aren't going to be divulged to you until we've completed
your transformation.
You're going to be in a very fragile state mentally, and we don't want
that to prejudice how you view your new mission objectives until you
stabilise. Please understand. It's for your good and the good of the
mission.
Yes?" I nodded dumbly, noticing with surprise that I was crying.
"Good." She rose and leant back on the desk, crossing her black tights-
clad legs at the ankles. I again noticed how beautiful she was, quite
dark, with big green eyes, long, straight brown hair and unbelievable
legs. She noticed me looking and smiled unselfconsciously. She glanced
over at Easton, who paused very slightly in her note-taking, then went
on.
"To answer your first question, no you are not having a 'sex change'."
She parenthesised the words deliberately. "We will be carrying out some
of the therapy associated with gender reassignment techniques, but none
of the non- reversible surgical work."
She could see the relief in my face as she went on, "in fact, there's
absolutely no reason why you wouldn't be able to revert to a completely
normal male life after the completion of the mission.
Now, are you ready for a brief medical? I realise it's been a long day,
but time is of the essence."
With that I realised that it was this morning that I had awoken in
Tangier. Amazing how your life can change in a day. I took a deep
breath and nodded.
"Excellent," smiled Miss Loth.
***
Doctor Easton was a cosmetic surgeon. During the briefing, she'd been
taking initial notes on my appearance and physique. Doctor Dwyer was
explaining this as she conducted a brief medical examination in a room
adjoining one of the clear areas. A pretty blonde nurse called Kirsty
Reeves has taken my clothes a sample of blood and some urine from me
and given me a powder blue gown to wear. Now I was breathing in and out
as Dwyer examined my thoracic area from behind a radial PET scanner.
Dwyer kept up a constant stream of chatter as she tapped away at her
terminal.
So I discovered that Easton was a plastic surgeon and Dwyer was a
research endocrinologist. I knew enough to be able to translate this in
my head as 'hormone doctor'. In the glass partition behind the
endocrinologist' s head, I could see the reflection of the 3D colour
display of the inside of my chest cavity as she directed the cursor
around.
After a while, she paused and clicked an icon which allowed her to
freely rotate my physical position so that my genital area was on
display. She looked up, with an apologetic look on her face.
"I can do most of the internal examination on the computer, but I'm
afraid I'm going to have to do a very quick cavity inspection to check
the state of your prostate."
I closed my eyes and nodded. She went on, "it's good that you're still
quite young, you know."
Good for whom, I wondered.
"Your body will be more tolerant to the therapy.." she tailed off,
concentrating on the screen for a moment.
"What exactly is the therapy to entail?" I asked pointedly, sick of the
magical mystery tour.
Dwyer sighed, looking up. "I'm afraid I'm under instructions not to
tell you. Commander Bond and Miss Loth are insistent on that. I'm
sorry."
"Not as sorry as me," I muttered.
"Pardon?"
"Nothing."
I decided to change tack.
"What's your background, Dr Dwyer? How did you end up on this mission?"
She didn't look up from her work, but answered promptly, "This is the
perfect job for me. I wanted to do security work - my father was in the
service. When the endocrinological research post came up, I went for
it."
Somehow that didn't ring true, but I decided not to press it. How about
Dr Easton. Have you worked with her long?
"No. In fact we only met yesterday. But her reputation is brilliant,
both in reconstruction and cosmetics. I think you're in safe hands."
"I hope so. I don't want to end up looking like her."
Dwyer sniggered, looking askance at me from her monitor. "I don't think
there's any danger of that.
She told me that from her initial look at you that she was confident of
an excellent result."
Excellent for whom, I wondered again. "And what about Miss Loth? She
seems an interesting character."
Dwyer pursed her lips. "Yes...
I'll bet you find her very interesting...
Actually, I don't know her very well either, but she is the Director of
this facility, so it doesn't do to argue much."
Noting the surprised look on my face with another of her smiles, she
got up and reached for a box of sterile gloves.
As if on cue, Nurse Reeves returned with a tube of lubricant.
It was time for my cavity exam.
***
Apparently, I was in perfect condition inside and out. Dwyer told me
that I could please myself for the next hour, and suggested that I
might want to go to the canteen to eat. It was 20:30. She asked me to
return at 21:30 to finish my exam. I got up and must have been looking
a little confused.
"What's the matter?" she asked.
"I - er, my clothes?"
"You'll be fine in your gown for now, Commander.
Everyone in this complex is used to it." I looked down at the gown
which covered me to just below my groin, and shook my head.
"I don't think so. My trousers please." Again, she looked a little
embarrassed, and gave her little sigh.
"I'm sorry Commander. Miss Loth has instructed us that you are not to
wear trousers from now on. It's for-"
"The good of the mission. I know.
What *can* I wear?"
"Leggings or a skirt."
I sighed. "Give me some leggings then." I guess I wasn't quite ready to
lose the seams between my legs.
Nurse Reeves brought in a pair of navy blue leggings, which I struggled
into with a great deal of embarrassment. I then turned and left the
examining room without a word.
In the corridor leading to the canteen, I passed a couple of security
staff, who turned out to be tough-looking RN maritime policewomen. They
saluted and I saluted back, feeling foolish.
I glanced back as they passed me but they were either well trained, or
completely disinterested in my plight or my ridiculous appearance. The
canteen was similarly deserted to the rest of the complex. I got a
light pasta from the bored looking girl behind the counter and sat down
with a glass of apple juice to eat in lonely silence.
All I could hear was the hum of the omnipresent air-conditioning and
the clatter of my cutlery. I wondered what was going on in the house
above me. Probably the two old dears were watching the box. Suddenly
feeling emotional, I finished my pasta and left the canteen, walking
quickly to my room. I lay face down on my bed in the darkness, thinking
about my parents.
They'd be doing the same as the old couple above now, settling down for
a quiet evening before bed. I wondered if my funeral had happened yet.
Probably. I wondered if Dad had cried with Mum. If only I knew either
way it'd be a little better. And Christine. We'd split up just before
the mission. But she had remained close to my parents. Had she been at
my funeral? I thought of her often, still.
My face was wet with tears. It was nine o'clock, and I was quite alone.
***
"Are you all right, Commander Pierce?"
I nodded. I must have seemed very subdued after the relative levity of
just an hour before.
Dr. Dwyer was looking at something on her flipscreen. I was lying on
the examining table in my gown and leggings, looking blankly at the
ceiling. I heard her rise.
"You'll be pleased to know that the result of your blood and urine was
very positive. We can proceed as planned." She walked over with a glass
bottle filled with a clear liquid.
The bottle had a rubber cap into which she was inserting a hypodermic
needle. "I'm just going to give you a small injection, then you can go
to bed. I'm sure you're exhausted."
She put the hypodermic on a tray exposing my left arm and swabbing it
inside the elbow joint. She picked up the hypo and leaned over. In a
rapid movement, I grabbed her wrist and dug my index finger into her
tendon, painlessly rendering her unable to hold the needle. She gave a
startled yell as the hypodermic clattered to the floor. I held onto her
arm, careful not to hurt her. I looked into her face, which was set,
and beautifully calm.
"I'm sorry," I said. "Just please tell me what it is. Do you have any
idea what it might be like for me? I'll take it, but tell me what I'm
taking."
I let go of her wrist. She continued to look into my eyes for a moment,
then broke off, picking up the needle and throwing it in a sterile
disposal unit. She got a new hypodermic out of a vacuum pack and
refilled it, before coming over, and sitting down by me so that her
head was next to mine. She held up the needle so I could see it.
"This is a dilute solution of the complex of hormones which my away
team and I have synthesised for your treatment programme. I'm not
obliged to tell you anything, but I'm going to because I respect you
and the sacrifice you're about to make. I'm administering this low dose
tonight so that we'll know if you have an allergy to any of the
constituent drugs in the mixture." She got up again and swabbed my arm.
She looked down at my face. I nodded. I felt the needle enter the vein
and closed my eyes as the liquid entered my system. Doctor Dwyer
continued, "this dose won't have any effect on your body, but very
soon, if the allergy test proves negative, I'm going to start you on an
aggressive treatment programme, which, over the next few weeks, will
give you the body chemistry of a pubescent girl."
She pulled out the needle and I heard it clatter into the disposal.
Dwyer went quiet and I could hear her tapping notes into her terminal.
I turned my head.
"Please go on... I don't want to lie in silence.." I heard her come
over to me and sit. Her hand took mine. She went on in a soft voice.
"There are four main types of hormone in your personal cocktail.
They're going to work together in your body to make it all happen.
There's the two female hormone types, oestrogens and progestogens which
will do the main work of transforming your body shape into a woman's.
But they need help because of all the testosterone floating round your
body which will stop them having the optimum effect.
We're sending in two more types of hormone to work against these -
otherwise we'd have to castrate you. The androgen receptor antagonist
will effectively stop the testosterone from being able to have any
effect on your body, and the androgen inhibitors will tell your testes
that there's enough testosterone already in your body and they'll cease
producing any more."
She got up but continued talking as she went back to her terminal.
"Once the hormones kick in, you'll notice many changes. Your breasts
will grow, maybe by even a cup size or two. Your aureolae and nipples
might swell a bit too and everything will be much more sensitive.
Your penis and testes will shrink. Your face will become more typically
female in shape. Your body fat will move away from the waist and toward
the hips and bottom. Your body hair growth will slow and becomes less
dense, and may lighten in colour. You'll tend to lose muscle tone and
be prone to putting on weight with less food. Your skin will become
finer and softer, and more sensitive.
You'll sweat less and smell nicer. Your hair will become fuller and
grow faster. You may lose your male sex drive but gain a female one."
She sighed. "All these things have been documented, but you might only
experience some of them. It's all very unpredictable."
She came and helped me sit up. "There's one thing you should know.
We've tried to calculate your programme so that we'll get the best
results possible in the shortest possible time.
That was the brief. That means the treatment programme is exceptionally
aggressive. You *will* be very ill for a week or so once we start the
course. I'm afraid there's nothing we can do about that."
She paused looking into my eyes, pursing her lips. "I thought you
should know."
I took her hand. "Thank you Doctor Dwyer." I said.
She placed her free hand over mine. "Mary," she said.
***
The terminal in my room woke me with a triple chime. I knew as soon as
I awoke where I was and why, and felt curiously more purposeful today.
I flipped the screen open and checked the morning headlines. The arms
buildup in Kazakhstan was continuing, and fresh combat had broken out
in Georgia and the Ukraine. The little red flag waving on my mailbox
icon showed that I had correspondence.
I clicked it open and was greeted by a Vidclip of Miss Loth.
"Morning Commander. I hope you slept well. The enclosed document is
your agenda for today. We have no items until eleven hundred so please
feel free to take a stroll and a swim, and we'll see you at eleven.
Please do *not* shave this morning, Commander."
I opened the agenda file:
=========================
Agenda - Commander Pierce
=========================
11:00 | Procedural and Welcome | D Loth | Director's Office
11:30 | Initial consultation | Dr S Easton | Room 206
13:30 | Lunch | D Loth | Lake Consequence Room
15:00 | Laser therapy | Dr S Easton | Room 206
17:00 | Consultation | Dr M Dwyer | Room 214
I bluetoothed the agenda to my personal tablet and then looked in the
wardrobe.
There was my first shock of the day. My clothes were all gone. In their
place a range of unfamiliarly feminine-looking garments.
Frowning, I picked out a rather fitted black top with a low-cut neck
and a pair of black leggings. I looked in the mirror.
Ridiculous, and the leggings did very little to conceal the unfeminine
looking bump on my groin. I selected a pair of brand new Fila trainers
and left the room carrying my data tablet.
***
I had noticed one thing. Well, noticed is probably not the right word.
A realisation had seeped into me over the last hours suddenly surfaced
in me as I waited for Ms Loth.
There were no men here.
Apart from Dennis, who had vanished as quietly as he had entered my
life the previous evening, and Commander Bond, who had also, I
presumed, left the facility, everyone in the complex, from MP to
cleaner, was female. I was in a world of women. Of course, I was no
fool and the reasoning behind this situation was obvious, but he
realisation hit me with some force nevertheless.
So I sat in Ms Loth's spare but elegantly furnished office, awaiting my
appointment.
The small, kidney-shaped desk seemed to be finished in a black, stone-
like surface like obsidian. I looked at my pale face in the mirror-like
stone, wondering how long it would remain familiar to me.
"Good morning Commander!"
Loth's voice snapped me from my reverie.
Once again she looked spectacular, dressed in a simple but beautifully
cut black trouser suit; I found myself admiring her as she poured tea
and we made small talk. Then a small thought popped, unbidden, into a
corner of my mind...
*....I hope I look as good as that by the end of this...*
What was that all about? I sipped my Lapsang Souchong and continued to
smile and listen, smile and listen.
***
Pep talk aside, one aspect of my meeting with Ms Loth had been useful.
In her schedule overview for the first fortnight, she had indicated
that I would be spending most of the first ten days out of commission
due to Dwyer's drug therapy.
That in itself was worrying. More so was what I was hearing from Doctor
S. Easton as I lay naked under the scrutiny of a vast array of scanning
equipment. Ms Loth had walked me to Easton's consulting rooms where I
had for the first time spoken to this extraordinary dried out husk of a
woman. Tall and exceptionally slender, she was a sinister combination
of schoolmarmish frump and vampire glamour.
She spoke in a cigarette-ravaged basso profundo and punched the air
with half inch scarlet talons as she made a point. The faded tweeds she
sported were an uneasy counterpoint to the black patent stilettos on
her feet. Every five minutes or so she would emit a rumbling cough from
her red, lipsticked mouth.
"Good. Your body hair is quite fine," she said as I lay naked, cold and
embarrassed before her, fearing for the little hair I possessed. She
continued her computerised examination of my anatomy, droning on in her
bass monotone about the changes I was to undergo.
Much of it sounded a little too permanent for my liking, and I said so.
She paused and walked over to me. "Commander Pierce," she said, "I
think you know that we all owe a debt to our country. Some more than
others." She turned and went back to her console, then went on to
finish her consultation in silence.
***
That afternoon I had my body hair removed.
Permanently.
Doctor Easton had had me drink a strange, tasteless blue fluid at lunch
which she had explained to me was a specially developed enzyme with a
radioactive marker attached to it, designed to affix itself to the base
of all the hair follicles in the body. This was used to create a
targeting matrix for an advanced computer-guided laser system that her
laboratory had developed that would quickly and painlessly remove all
the targeted hairs.
There was a large machine at the back of her consulting room which
comprised of a metallic framework inside which was a suspension harness
big enough to accommodate a human body. The framework was mounted on a
set of articulated gimbals which permitted 360 degrees of free rotation
in all axes. At the top of the framework was the laser projection
assembly. It seemed like a pretty efficient solution and I wondered if
the government developed these sorts of things all the time. I supposed
that they could make quite a lot of money in the commercial market.
"This will be going into production and on sale in the US later this
year," said Doctor Easton, clicking over to me in her spike heels, as
if reading my thoughts.
"Remove all your clothing please."
Dumbly, I complied, and stood self- consciously, trying to cover my
groin. Easton had a tube of a colourless gel in her hand, which she
proceeded to smear all over my scalp, eyebrows and pubic area.
"This is a barrier gel which prevents the marker signal from being read
by the targeting system," she explained efficiently as I stood in acute
embarrassment while she worked the excruciatingly cold gel into my
pubic hair. She then gave me a pair of dark blue goggles to put on.
"These will prevent removal of your lashes and protect your eyes from
the laser mesh".
After a while, she stood back and looked me over. Apparently satisfied,
she nodded, and indicated that I should follow her to the depilation
machine. I stepped inside the spherical framework and Easton began to
strap me into the harness, which attached at the wrists, upper arms,
ankles, knees, waist, chest and neck with translucent straps which I
supposed would allow the laser mesh to penetrate. Then she went over to
the control panel and pressed a combination on the touchpad which made
the harness retract into the framework so that I was raised up and
suspended in mid-air, my arms and legs wide open. It felt utterly
perverse.
I heard her moving around behind me, then a cold sensation in my
buttocks, followed by a sharp needle. A coldness seeped out from where
she had injecting me, and I realised I couldn't move.
"The targeting computer works best when the subject is immobile," I
heard her intone emotionlessly. I heard her pressing another
combination of keys and the framework began to rotate slowly. I was
bathed in a cold, blue light in which I could just distinguish
individual, infinitesimal laser beams. It was not an unpleasant
sensation, somewhat like being tickled very gently all over my body;
after a while I drifted off into a semi-sleep.
When I came to I was covered in a thin layer of ash. Easton was using a
small hand-held vacuum cleaner to remove it all, and I realised that
this was the remains of my hair. The paralysing drug was wearing off,
and I began to flex my arms and legs, which had pins and needles.
Easton went away and came back with a rather nasty looking pen- shaped
implement.
"What's that?"
"Pen laser depilator. I'm going to sculpt your eyebrows and bikini
area."
I thought that that sounded too much. "Wait a minute. I mean, is that
really necessary? I thought women did that kind of thing themselves?"
Easton stopped, and shrugged. "I thought it might be more convenient
for you. It's your choice."
"No thanks. I'm not going to be wearing any bikinis anyway.
And I'd prefer not to have no eyebrows for the rest of my life." Easton
shrugged again and clicked away. After a while, there was a whine from
the mechanism and the harness lowered me to the floor.
"Go and shower thoroughly in tepid water," she said, handing me a
towel. "Then report to Doctor Dwyer."
***
The machine had done its work. I was as smooth as a baby all over and
it felt very strange. A red rash had appeared on my skin, but Easton
had told me this was normal and would wear off overnight. The sensation
of clothes on my hairless skin was novel and intense. Mary Dwyer was
not in her consulting room when I arrived, and I was puttering about
when she walked in.
"Hello, Commander Pierce."
"Doctor Dwyer.
What's the news?"
She smiled. "Good. Your blood's come back fine. Any ill effects?
Dizziness, nausea?"
I shook my head and sat down.
She stood and looked at me for a while. Then appeared to come to a
decision.
"Well, I don't see any sense in delaying." She walked over to a
cupboard and came back with a bottle of colourless fluid, with a label
that said "PIERCE" on it, and a large syringe. As she was filling the
syringe, I began to panic.
She noticed me sweating and shivering, and stopped.
"Afraid?" she asked, gently. I nodded. My mouth had gone dry and I
couldn't speak at all. She walked over and put her arm around me.
"You're a very brave man," she said quietly, "and your government
doesn't deserve you." I couldn't say anything.
"Shall we proceed," she went on, "or do you want to wait?"
I couldn't answer for a while, then I looked into her green eyes, and
whispered, in the tiniest voice, "do it."
She rubbed my upper arm with alcohol and then the needle went in. I
watched the colourless fluid drain into my vein.
I don't remember much of the next few days. Mary told me later that
they had to keep me sedated for most of the time as I was too sick and
in pain to cope. I don't remember undergoing any of the procedures that
they completed during that time. I don't remember. All I remember is a
sensation of falling into a deep, dark well, revolving slowly until I
was utterly consumed.
***
I woke up and looked at the bedside clock.
It read 6:30. I had no idea whether it was morning or evening. I had a
vague recollection of needles and hands manipulating me in my bed. I
had a sick, dry taste in my mouth and a sharp pain in my groin. There
were dull aches all over the rest of my body, especially around my
face, chest, abdomen and bottom. I tried to raise my head but that was
too much.
After a short rest, I found that by concentrating very hard, I could
raise my hand to my bedside table for the glass of water there. But
when I tried to close my fingers, there was no strength there to lift
it. I sighed and closed my eyes, drifting into sleep.
***
I opened my eyes and looked up to see Dr Easton looking down at me. I
found it hard to focus on her face. She had taken the sheets off me and
was examining me with a terrifying briskness. I felt her hands move
over my hairless body feeling my chest and groin, flexing my arms and
legs. Then she nodded at someone I couldn't see and covered me up
again. I heard footsteps then the light was turned off and my door
clicked shut. I let my eyes close again, vaguely aware of a dull pain
in my chest.
****
I woke again, feeling stronger. I could turn my head and raise my arms,
and felt very much more alert although still dizzy and nauseous. I
noticed the drip in my arm through which a colourless fluid was
passing. I identified a sharp pain my groin as I moved, and the same
soreness in my chest that I had felt earlier. The clock read 2:00 and I
had the feeling that it was early morning. The facility was quiet. I
was madly thirsty and wanted to get rid of the stale, chemical taste in
my mouth. I reached for the glass of water but couldn't locate it, so I
turned on the bedside lamp and sat up, letting the sheets fall from my
body. I was overcome by a moment's intense nausea, then realised from
the tug that the pain in my penis was caused by a catheter. I found the
water and sipped eagerly.
I looked down at my body for any changes, but apart from the strange
hairlessness the only thing that was apparent was the shocking amount
of weight that I had lost.
I had prided myself on my taut and muscular build, but that was gone,
replaced by a pale, fragile gauntness. For the first time I wondered
how long I had been out. I looked at my chest. I was no idiot, and I
knew what the pain signified, but I could detect no changes there. I
felt my chest and was greeted by a sharp pain from my nipples which
began to discharge a weak, colourless fluid. Shocked, I moved my hands
away and mopped up the secretion with a tissue from my table. I smelt
it. It had a musty, familiar smell, like milk and old laundry.
Suddenly exhausted, I dropped the tissue by my bedside and collapsed
into a sudden sleep, no dreams.
***
I woke sometime later to find that someone had come in and covered me
again, taken the tissue and refilled my water glass. The light had been
turned off and the clock read 6:43. I sat up again and turned the light
back on, noting that I felt much less dizzy this time.
I pulled the sheets down and examined my chest closely.
The pain came again, accompanied by the discharge, which seemed more
viscous this time. I also noticed that the sudden pain was accompanied
by a feeling of intense pleasure running through my body, accompanied
by my nipples standing erect, like little brown jelly beans. I felt the
area around the nipples and noticed a hard mass under each nipple,
which was extremely tender. I realised with a sinking feeling that my
breasts were growing more than I had previously thought. I found that
the sensation of manipulating my hard nipples was extremely pleasant,
sending little jolts of intense feeling down to my groin. Oddly, but
probably for the good, I did not get an erection. I turned the light
off and lay down, fiddling with my nipples and spreading the mucus
discharge around them. I soon fell asleep and had an intense dream of
making love to Mary Dwyer in a huge red bed shaped like a heart.
****
I woke up and was embarrassed to see Mary smiling down at me. I smiled
back.
"Good morning," she said, "I hear that you've been waking a bit. How do
you feel?"
I thought for a moment. "I feel fine. My nipples are very sore and I
think they're growing a bit"
She leaned down and began to examine my naked, hairless body. I noted
that the drip and the catheter were gone and I was ravenously hungry,
which I took to be a good sign. The sensation of her hands on my chest
was driving me crazy and she noticed me squirming.
"Rather an intense feeling?" she said.
I nodded.
"It will be," she continued, "for a while. The development seems to be
proceeding fine. Once we get you back on solids, you should experience
some real growth."
I didn't know what to say to that, so I said nothing.
There was silence for a while, while she completed my exam. Then she
straightened, punching some notes into her tablet.
"Good." She sat down next to my bed. "Let me fill you in on what's been
happening.
You've been in and out of it for a couple of weeks. During that time,
the hormone cocktail has done its work and you have the body chemistry
of a teenage girl now. What we did a couple of days ago was take you
off the aggressive programme and implant a slow release package into
your abdomen. This will help stabilise you and get your body used to
the dosage which you'll have to maintain for the duration of your
mission."
Again, I could think of no suitable response.
Mary rose. "At the same time, Dr Easton has been doing some more work.
The body hair is gone for good, and she's started doing some collagen
work on your face. it's quite striking actually. Your hair's grown out
quite a bit too - that's been accelerated by the hormone programme."
She paused, glancing at her watch. "I have to go now." She started
moving towards the door. "Are you cold?"
I nodded. She went to the cupboard and got me something. It was a white
silk night-shirt. She helped me put it on. The silk felt fabulous
against my hairless body.
I'll get a nurse to bring you a meal. Liquid for now, I'm afraid." She
grimaced. "Bye for now."
After she left, I spent a while feeling myself through the sheer fabric
of the nightie. I was assailed by unfamiliar feelings of utter
sensuousness and pleasure.
Then suddenly, I felt overwhelmed by fear and anguish and broke down in
a racking fit of tears.
I woke again to find that I had made stains in the chest and groin of
my nightie. I noticed the glass of Complan by my bedside and felt a
wave of shame at the idea that the nurse would have seen the state I
was in. But the hunger overcame me and I drank all the Complan and some
more water, before drifting off into a confused sleep.
***
When I woke up next, I felt fitter and stronger. There was another
glass of liquid food next to me and I drank it down with relish. I
decided to try and get up and was pleased to find it quite easy, with
only a little shakiness. I walked to the loo and had a pee, wincing at
the pain, which I guessed was from the catheter. Then I walked over to
the sink to wash, and saw my face.
I was shocked at the change. The face that looked back at me was gaunt
and pale, but the changes that Easton had made were clear to see. She
had built up my cheekbones and given me a very noticeable lip implant.
I looked, in fact, very petulant and, I'm embarrassed to say,
kissable.
Then there were my eyebrows, which were thin and arched, accentuating
the blueness of my eyes. With a flash of rage, I looked down and saw
that my pubic hair too had been sculpted into a neat triangle, sat
incongruously on top of my hairless cock and balls. Bitch. My choice,
indeed.
Startlingly, though I had not shaved for two weeks there was not a
trace of stubble on my smooth face. My hair also seemed much thicker
and longer. I stepped back and looked at the whole picture and was
astonished at how female I looked already. From the noticeable bumps in
my chest to my reduced waist and my almost entirely hairless body.
Topped by that face. For the first time I believed that they could do
it. That I could. And, strangely, it made me feel better. I went to the
cupboard and found a pair of black cotton panties, which I slipped on,
then put a fitted black v-neck top and a pair of brown flared slacks on
top. Suddenly curious, I went back to the mirror to see what I looked
like.
"Very good," said a voice behind me. I whirled guiltily. It was Miss
Loth. She walked up to me and around.
"Actually remarkable. You look like one of those emaciated and rather
strange-looking girls that were popular with the fashion editors a few
years back. What do you think? Does it feel all right?"
I sat down on the bed. "Actually, I'm quite surprised at how un-upset I
am." I said, speaking slowly and carefully.
Miss Loth nodded. "I hear that a shift in psychological perspective
often accompanies these treatments. Are you in pain? Dr Dwyer said that
she spoke to you yesterday and that you seemed to be over the worst."
I nodded.
"Good. We need to build you up a bit now so that we can complete the
reconstructive program and begin the behaviour training. The schedule
is short and Commander Bond is coming to review the results in a month.
Are you reading those?"
She pointed to the pile of women's magazines and catalogues on the
coffee table. I shook my head.
"I think you should. I've been authorised to buy you any clothing you
see that you like in the catalogues.
I'll call in later to get your choices."
Then she walked briskly away, closing the door behind her. I sat for a
while, then walked over to the mirror again, looking at the feminine
figure looking back at me. She was right, the chemicals had changed the
way I thought about myself. There was no doubt about it. I should have
felt disturbed and outraged at what I saw, but didn't. I walked
resignedly to the table, sat down and picked up the copy of Scene that
was top of the pile of magazines.
***
Over the next two weeks, I went back onto solids then was put on a
highly pleasant high protein diet that built me up quickly. This was
combined with a regular series of gym and aerobics classes that quickly
put some shape onto my bones. And I have to say that the shape was
quite a good one.
I had not filled out in the areas I was accustomed to. My breasts had
grown and I now filled a 36B bra. Weight and muscle had gone onto my
thighs and bottom, but my waist remained a trim 26". My hair grew some
more.
Doctor Easton had reviewed my progress and told me sniffily and with
some disappointment that she did not consider further reconstructive
liposculpture necessary in my case.
Mary and Miss Loth both praised me at all turns, and secretly, I took
care of my appearance as I found that I valued their praise. Loth also
told me that Commander Bond had been called away to The Honduras on
security business and had postponed his review and briefing 'till a
fortnight's time.
Meanwhile, I began weapons and combat training again in the tactical
arena and found to my pleasure that I had not lost any of my edge.
Allied with this, I began to take voice coaching and deportment
training.
Suddenly, the facility was bustling with feminine activity centred
around me. A hairdresser called Mindy visited me and gave me a nice,
fashionable cut.
Beauticians attended me to pamper, manicure, massage and treat me. I
learned make up quickly and new clothes arrived daily as I became
carried away by the adventure. I began to experiment with different
styles of appearance and Mary would often find me turning up to our
daily check- ups dressed in a crazy variety of costumes, from slinky
evening wear to mutton- dressed-as-lamb club-kid style.
I built up a collection of wicked lingerie and learned cunning ways of
concealing my cock to a highly convincing degree. I began to realise
that a new personality was emerging and "she" was quite extrovert,
loved attention and dressing up.
By the time I was to be debriefed by Miss Loth, prior to the arrival of
Commander Bond the next day, I felt that we had achieved the
impossible.
I was a mission- ready miss.
***
I walked down the corridor to Miss Loth's office. I felt utterly and
confidently female. Through aggressive reinforcement therapy, they had
turned Lieutenant Commander Anthony Pierce into a convincing analogue
of a young, fashionable woman. My mannerisms, my voice, my patterns of
speech, everything down to the way that I walked, had been modified and
programmed.
So I clicked down the corridor in my red Gucci spikes. I was wearing a
burgundy fitted suit from Miu Miu with big lapels, flared cuffs and a
pencil skirt with an asymmetric slash up the back. My long, slim legs
were encased in sheer pale tights from Jonathan Aston.
My face was made up to match my outfit, with pale shadow, a smudged
brown under-eyeline and dramatic carmine lipstick, Rocker from MAC, and
matching blusher. There was a coat of clear gloss over my lips which
were pouting like they would explode. My bob was pulled back into a
severe bun with a diamante butterfly pin from Anthropology offsetting
the severeness.
Underneath, I wore black shantung silk underwired bodice and panties
from La Perla. My cock was tightly restrained behind. I smelt
lusciously of Extravagance d'Amarige, Givenchy.
I knocked and entered. Miss Loth was there, and Mary. Doctor Easton had
left the facility a week ago, and most of the other workers were
already gone. I suddenly realised that I had not seen another man since
Bond had left that eternity ago. I walked over and sat, smoothly
crossing my legs at the knees. I smiled.
"Hello Commander Pierce," said Miss Loth. "I
must say that you look spectacular as usual." With a pang, I realised
that I now must look as good as she did, and thought back to that
strange thought that I had had way back when at one of our first
meetings.
"Thank you," I said quietly.
"I'm reporting for my debrief, ma'am."
"Yes," said Miss Loth. "First, we have to say goodbye to Miss Dwyer.
Her task is finished and she's being relocated back to her research
post in Durham. She requested to see you before she went." With a quick
smile, Miss Loth left the room.
I got up. Mary walked over to me and we hugged. I was surprised to see
that she had tears in her eyes. "Commander Pierce," she began.
"Anthony" I interrupted, aware that this sounded a bit ridiculous now.
"I'm... sorry." she went on.
"Sorry?"
She looked up, smiling. "Sorry, yes. To change you against your will.
You bear it so well, and I'm very proud and happy to have worked with
you."
"Mary," I said, taking her hand, "you made it easy for me by being my
friend." I was crying now too, "like you said, it's not completely
permanent. At least I'm fortunate enough to be enjoying it. I must have
been some kind of perv in the first place.
Please let's keep in touch.
Once I get back and I'm back to normal, I'll call you."
She nodded and squeezed my hand. "Goodbye Anthony. My car's waiting."
I leant and kissed her softly on the cheek. She started to move away,
and I stopped her.
"Lipstick." I said, wiping her cheek. She let go, walking to the door.
She turned and looked back at me, a little wave, then she was gone.
A moment later, Miss Loth returned, and gave me a hanky for my tears.
"You and she were close, weren't you?" she asked.
I nodded.
***
Miss Loth had informed me that Commander Bond would be coming to see me
at 0830 to brief me on my new identity and my reinsertion strategy. She
had prepared a Navy dress uniform for me as Bond had requested a formal
debrief.
I now sat in my room, dressed in my Royal Navy uniform blouse and skirt
suit and regulation black stockings and heels, completing my make-up.
It was 0814. I gave myself a quick spray of Chanel No.5 and waited,
trying to gather my thoughts. I was now extremely nervous about
everything from the mission, the start of which would conclude what had
turned out to be a surprisingly enjoyable phase of my life, to a return
meeting with Bond, whose presence I awaited with a strange mixture of
terror and anticipation.
How would he judge me, this strange neutered thing? Would he treat me
with contempt? Or would he like what he saw? I felt hopelessly
confused.
For the first time in a long time, I thought about Christina and my
parents.
Would they recognise me now? My dad would be horrified, I was sure. It
was better that they thought I was dead. Or was it?
Suddenly overcome, I cried, burying my head in my hands. What had I
done? What had I let them do to me? I looked up into the dressing table
mirror. Mascara running, my face a mess, I suddenly saw Anthony Pierce
in there and realised that in serving my country, I had become a
traitor to myself. I gazed into the mirror, tears running down my face,
unable to move.
The phone rang.
I looked at the clock and realised I was late for my briefing. I picked
up the phone. It was Miss Loth. I apologised and set about fixing my
face, giving myself an extra, defiant coat of red lipstick.
Then I rushed from the room.
***
Bond said nothing as I entered. He was standing with his back to me, by
the desk. I snapped to attention and saluted.
"Lieutenant Commander Pierce reporting as ordered, sir!"
Bond turned, raising an eyebrow as he took in my appearance. A smile
twitched across his mouth. "At ease, Pierce. Take a seat."
I sat, crossing my legs. It came naturally now.
Bond sat at the desk opposite me.
"The situation in Japan has progressed since we last met, Pierce. We
now have an ideal insertion opportunity for you."
"Sir?"
"How are you with children, Pierce?"
"Sir?'
He rose. "Follow me Lieutenant. We're going for a drive."
***
Bond's DBX was parked in a country lane a quarter of a mile from the
concealed hidden exit of the Q branch facility.
I walked, enjoying the fresh air of a cool late summer morning,
realising that I had never before been outside in my female disguise.
Bond was silent beside me. I felt very tense and alert, nerves on edge.
Bond held the door for me and I slid into the passenger seat of the
bullet grey Aston, legs together, like a lady. Again, the smile
twitched across his face. Again, I noticed the scar across his chin,
and wondered how he had got it. I glanced up and caught the full
attention of his steel grey eyes.
We looked at each other for a moment, then I looked away, confused.
Bond shut the door and got in the other side. He started up without
fastening his seat belt, lit up a Cartier and we drove on.
As we drove through the hazy sunlight, Bond briefed me on my new cover
legend. I kept my eyes fixed on the road ahead, very aware of his
presence next to me. My new name was Jane Masters. I was 28, a
Cambridge graduate in Oriental languages who had been working as an
account executive at a West London media agency for the past two years
before leaving this week. Prior to that, I had travelled extensively on
a parental inheritance. I was by all accounts the sort of posh,
fashionable trash who hung out at 192 and the Fifth Floor of Harvey
Nicks.
I had a little flat just off Powis Square in Notting Hill and drove a
metallic lime green Volkswagen Beetle. I liked soul music, salsa clubs
and New York. Now I had applied for a job at the Fist's