A New Style of Education Part 1
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A New Style Of Education - Part 26 free porn video
A New Style of Education
by Karen Page
If you haven't read A Strange Attraction to Concrete Cows it would be
advisable before reading this chapter.
Part 26
Jill closed her eyes and began to describe in detail the events following
her mother's death.
* * *
Mum was dead. How could this happen so quickly? Yesterday she'd found out
about Jill and she didn't freak. I had hope that with Anna and Erika gone,
I could still learn the lessons I needed to learn; and admittedly, enjoy.
Now there was no one. The only people who knew were Anna, Erika and Beth.
Anna and Erika had been snatched away, and Beth was lying in a coma.
Mums words as she lay dying drifted through my grief stricken brain, 'You
must tell Dad about Jill'. How could I do that? Dad was a very open and
understanding person, but he'd just lost his wife and his daughter was
lying unconscious. How could I tell him that his son liked dressing as a
girl? No, it was best that Jill died with mum. I could be Bill. I HAD TO
be Bill for everyone. Mum had the right idea about adapting clothes. I'd
been sure that with a bit of thought, I could do it.
I raised my head and wiped away the tears. Stacey, the kind nurse who'd
made sure I was okay, had disappeared and left us alone in our grief. Dad
was crying like I'd never seen before. He'd lost his true love and his
life will never be the same. Mum had been his soul mate. Even when they
weren't together, they still so obviously had feelings for each other. The
way Mum dropped everything to rush to nurse him better when he'd been
attacked and the obvious sorrow of having to leave him again told me that.
I could tell she'd been so torn between wanting to be with him and the
need to protect us from whatever secret they had. Was it Julia, or
something else?
What would I do now? How would we live without Mum? Would we live with Dad
or would we again be parted from him? What would happen to me and Beth?
Why did she have to die? Why? Life was so unfair.
"Mr Toms?" eventually prodded a nurse who looked more senior than Stacey.
I hadn't heard her come in and by Dad's reaction, neither had he.
"Yes?" he eventually replied, his voice sounding soft and highly
emotional.
"When you are ready, let me know. I need to go through some things with
you."
"I suppose now's as good a time as any," he said, his eyes never having
left his departed wife and love.
I felt a bit in the way. I really didn't want to leave my Mum, but the
longer I was next to her, the longer I realised that she was no longer
there, just her body.
"Can I go and see Beth?" I suddenly blurted out, not wanting to know the
details of what was going to happen to Mum. I wanted to remember her as a
kind and loving person and not a corpse.
"I'll take Bill to see her if you like?" offered Stacey, surprising me
with her sudden appearance. She looked different and it took me a moment
to realise she was out of uniform.
"Are you sure?" Dad asked.
"It would be my pleasure. He has been such a brave boy and it would be
best he is with the living."
"Oh, I see what you mean," said Dad, giving a dazed nod. "I'm not really
with it at the moment. Why don't you go to see Beth and I'll sort out what
needs to be done here. I think you have done very well Bill. I'm proud of
you."
Stacey took me by my arm and led me out into the corridor, down a flight
of stairs and out into a courtyard.
"What are we doing out here?" I asked as we walked into the cold winter
weather.
"You have been stuck in a room helping your mother pass-on with her
family. She died in peace knowing love. You need a bit of fresh air, then
we'll get a little to eat ..."
"I'm not hungry," I interrupted.
"... and when I think you've eaten enough," continued Stacey, "I will take
you to see your sister."
"But ..."
"No buts, it's got to be butter," joked Stacey, taking the wind out of my
sails. "Look, you need to be strong for your Dad. By the looks of things,
he made a big personal sacrifice to please his wife during her death."
"What do you mean?"
"Never mind. Look, let's go and raid the canteen."
The canteen wasn't far away and I was furnished with a chicken curry. It
was rather bland, but Stacey said I wasn't allowed to leave until I'd
eaten at least half. During the meal Stacey didn't say much, which I was
rather grateful about. As I ate, I tried to block out the picture of my
Mum lying on a hospital bed, tubes attached and her slowly, but with
certainty, dying.
"Photos help," said Stacey.
"What?"
"Photographs. They help you remember the person as they were, rather than
the picture of them dying. Do you have photographs of her?"
"Oh yes, I have plenty of photographs," I smiled weakly, thinking of the
piles of photo albums in the cupboard. "I just wish there were more of us
all together. This year Dad has been away with work."
"Your Dad has probably changed a bit over the last year," warned Stacey.
"Just be patient with him, as he probably will have a lot of guilt over
his wife's death. Even though he isn't to blame, he'll probably wish he'd
been with her over the last year."
"Oh," I said, wondering what she was talking about. "Why are you out of
uniform?"
"My shift finished a little bit ago. However I wanted to stay. It helps if
there is continuity of treatment."
"Thanks," I said wondering how much extra time she'd put in. Now she was
putting in extra, looking after me. My thanks didn't seem enough, but I'd
no idea what else to say.
"Are you finished?"
"I think so."
"Okay. Let's go find Beth."
Beth. At long last I'd see my sister. After Anna and Erika, Beth was the
one other person in the world that knew about Jill. She didn't mind, sort
of understood and, most importantly, had helped me when I asked for it.
She never told tales on me and when the chips were down, would stand by me
till the end. In some ways I missed Beth more than Anna and Erika. Last
year I'd been without my father, my mother was now dead and I didn't know
how Beth would be. How could my life get any worse?
"Will she survive?" I asked, as we made our way to see Beth.
"We can ask when we get there," replied Stacey. "Don't forget that Dr
Patel said earlier that she was in a coma. I don't work in that ward, so I
don't have the latest information."
When we walked into ICU, we had to ring a bell and we were let into the
reception area. Here there was a desk with a nurse behind a computer
monitor and a corridor leading to, what I presumed to be, where the
patients were being treated.
"Hi, you must be Bill," said the nurse as she rose from behind the
computer and approached me.
"Yes, how is Beth?" I asked, getting straight to the point.
"Why don't you have a seat, while I see if one of the nurses who are
looking after her is available," smiled the nurse. "I understand your Dad
will be down shortly."
"Can you stay with me for now?" I asked Stacey.
"I really shouldn't, as this isn't my ward," she said, "but I'll stay for
a few moments, till the nurse comes."
"Thanks," I said, taking a seat on a chair. At least this one was padded
and not like the monstrosities that were in Surgical Recovery.
"She will be with you in a few minutes," the ICU receptionist said on her
return and then went back to hiding behind her monitor.
The minutes passed and a middle-aged nurse appeared. "Hi, I'm Wendy
Roberts. I'm one of the nurses who've been taking care of your sister.
Since she is in a coma, she's under supervision here, but when she wakes,
she'll be moved to a normal ward."
"Oh. Do you know how long it will be before she'll wake up?"
"No," Wendy said in a matter-of-fact manner. "We have to just wait and
see. It was only a minor injury and ..." Wendy's pager went off, making me
jump.
"If you'll excuse me a minute. I need to just check on something."
With that, she was gone.
"Looks like I'll be here a bit longer," laughed Stacey.
"Sorry."
"It's okay." She paused and then asked in a quieter voice, "Does your Dad
know about you?"
"Know what?"
"Since your Mum died, your mind has been elsewhere and you have been
acting a lot more feminine. Since you weren't like that when you first
came in, I assume it is something you know about and therefore you hide it
when you want to."
"Oh," I whispered, a funny feeling swelling up my chest. I suddenly found
myself crying buckets of tears. All the control of my emotions over Mum's
death was freed as it was replaced by the thought of being exposed to my
Dad. It would kill him, finding out about Jill, after how much else he'd
just lost. My Dad loved me as Bill and I didn't know how I could take the
chance of telling him and losing my only remaining parent. No, I decided
I'd be Bill as planned.
"That is behind me now," I sobbed. "I need the love of my father."
"True, some parents aren't understanding, but I'm sure your Dad would be."
"How did you know?"
"You aren't the first person I've met who's dressed like you have and
after I'd met a few, I began to see the signs. Don't worry, I won't tell
anyone. It's just you are young and I thought it would help you to know
that you aren't the only one - you aren't alone."
Just then Wendy re-appeared, her face lit up like the Christmas
decorations that were rapidly disappearing. "I have some news that will
cheer you up," she said, not knowing the reason for me being upset. "Beth
has shown signs of starting to coming out of her coma."
"Starting?" I said rubbing the tears from my face with my school sweater.
"I thought she would wake up, just as if she'd been asleep."
"No, it's not quite like that. Her mind is showing she is slipping to
normal sleep. She will probably wake up for a little time, but slip back
to sleep."
"Can I be with her?"
"You shouldn't be alone with her," firmly stated Wendy, obviously
following the rulebook.
"Bill wasn't any problem when he was alone with his mother," interceded
Stacey. "And this is ICU, where you'll be closely monitoring Beth anyway.
How alone could Bill be?"
"I suppose, but ..."
"And his Dad will be here soon. It might help Beth if she hears a familiar
voice."
"True, but ..."
"Well that's sorted then," smiled Stacey. She turned to me and said, "Good
luck Bill. Now remember what I said about trust."
"Yes Stacey. Thanks."
"Anytime," she waved and disappeared out of ICU and out of my life.
After again being warned that Beth might seem worse than she was, I was
taken to see her. There was a vast array of equipment monitoring her due
to the coma. It all seemed very clinical, but at least I could see her.
"Hi Sis," I said, taking the seat that had been offered. There was no
response. In some ways this seemed just like the scenario that I'd had
with Mum seven hours ago. In some ways it seemed like another time,
arriving at the hospital and hearing about Mum and Beth. In other ways, it
seemed like it just happened.
"Well Sis, today certainly has been a day I never want to go through
again. Yesterday afternoon, I thought that day would be the worst I'd ever
been through and it turned out to be one of the best. Today, things are
just the opposite."
"Keep it happy," said one of the nurses. "Most people find it difficult
talking to someone who is non-responsive, but you got straight into it.
Have you done it before?"
"I talked to my Mum for hours," I replied, trying not to let my emotions
show.
"How is she doing now?"
"She died about an hour ago," I spat. I didn't mean to sound upset or
bitter, but I couldn't help it. Was this nurse stupid? My sister was in a
coma after being in a car accident with my mum. I blinked, trying to stop
the tears but it just seemed to make them come quicker. My Mum, the rock
of my life, was dead. I'd been denied my mother's help in my complicated
future.
"I'm sorry," said the nurse, coming across to me. "I've just come on shift
and wasn't aware what happened. By the way, I'm Ingrid."
"Beth won't die, will she?"
"She is doing very well," carefully informed Ingrid. "The neurologist, who
examined her just before you came in, said that she was making good
progress."
"Wendy, the nurse I saw earlier, said she was starting to slip out of the
coma. I thought she would be awake and talking by now."
"Oh, heck, no. You've been watching too many films. It is a slow process.
Her body has suffered a serious trauma and it will have taken a lot of
energy out of her. She has a lot of drugs helping her, some of which act
as heavy sedatives."
"Oh," I said sadly. I'd hoped to chat with Beth before Dad arrived.
"I'll tell you what; you chat with Beth, which will help her a lot and I
will point out different stages of recovery as they occur. It would just
bore you if I got all medical on you."
"Thanks," I said, turning back to Beth. She still looked the same as had
moments before. Her left arm in plaster and cuts on her face were the only
visible signs of the accident. I took her hand into mine and sighed, the
whole situation reminded me of what I'd gone through several hours before.
"Why are her eyes taped shut?"
"They'll probably come off soon. If her eyes are left open they'll dry out
or get dust in them. You can't blink while in a coma, so we keep them
closed."
"Thanks," I said, pondering on all the small details that I'd never have
thought of, which must be routine for these staff. I resolved there and
then that if she started to come round, I wouldn't leave till she was
awake. "Well Beth, I have some exciting news for you, Dad has come to see
you. He is just with Mum for a little bit, but will be here shortly. I
don't want to give everything away, but he looks a bit different from
before. His hair is longer and there are a few other things, but he's
still the same person."
I'm sure I felt her hand move slightly against mine. I doubt you could
really call it a squeeze, but I'm sure I'd felt something. I looked at her
in amazement and was sure I could see a small smile. Perhaps it was my
imagination, but I'm sure she was trying to respond. I thought about
calling Wendy, who had come into the room, or Ingrid, but didn't really
want to disturb them.
Wendy must have noticed my glance around the room and asked, "Are you
okay?"
"I think she tried to squeeze my hand," I said becoming excited. "Is that
a smile?"
Wendy came across and took a look. "You know, I think you may well be
right about that smile. I'm going to remove the tape keeping her eyes shut
so she can start to focus as she comes round. Keep talking to her. You are
doing great."
Wendy gently removed the tape; however her eyes stayed shut instead of
springing open. I was helping my sister. I'd been with my mum when she
died and I so wanted to help someone live. If my talking was really
helping then I knew I'd talk to her all night if I had to. I again blocked
out the rest of the room and gave my total concentration to Beth. Now what
would Beth like, ah yes...
"Beth, how would you like to move to Milton Keynes? I hear they have a
great shopping centre which is so close. Think of how rubbish the shops
are locally to us and how long it takes got get to somewhere where they
have a few decent shops. Anna said the other day that she caught the bus
into Milton Keynes centre and she was there in fifteen minutes. It seems
they have more shops in the one centre than what you've been used to and
just opposite is a huge cinema complex, restaurants and enormous indoor
ski slope."
I took a breath. There was no response. This was harder work than I
thought. Until I'd been shopping with Anna and Erika, I'd tried to avoid
shopping, so I wasn't really used to talking about it, especially to
someone who wasn't responding.
"If we do move to Milton Keynes, which is likely at least, I will be near
Anna and Erika again. Before Anna left, she took an interest in me playing
the oboe and I'm thinking about teaching her. Hopefully it is something
that we can do together. I've missed her so much since she left and was
hoping that we could one day be together, I just never expected it to be
so ?"
I got another squeeze, this time it was a bit stronger. There was no doubt
in my mind that it was her. My sister was regaining consciousness.
"That's it, Beth. Can you hear me? Squeeze my hand again." I encouraged,
my voice again rising in pitch as I almost willed her to answer. She
didn't and I didn't get another squeeze. She'd always been the more
obstinate of the two of us.
"Another squeeze?" asked Wendy.
"Yes. It was a bit stronger this time." I replied without looking up.
"I think I saw a smile," said a familiar voice behind me.
"Dad!" I said with a jump. "I didn't hear you come in."
"I've only been here a few moments and I didn't want to disturb you.
You're doing so well and it seems like it is helping your sister."
"Why don't you have a turn," I said as Dad pulled up a chair. "I've been
talking nonstop and I'm sure she's tired of listening to me."
"I don't know what to talk about." Dad seemed at a loss as what to say.
"Why don't you tell her about Milton Keynes?" I suggested. "Or some of
your trips away?"
"Okay, now let me see. Okay, as you know, I live in Milton Keynes. I've
got a three bedroom house in one of the southern areas. Anna and Erika
live less than a mile from my house. Apart from my job with Planetwide,
I've been helping out by teaching part-time at a school not far away."
"Really?" I interrupted my Dad. "Why didn't you tell us before?"
"Really. I didn't say because you'd want to join and it would have upset
you because you couldn't."
"Er, why would I want to go to that school?"
"Because they have a great orchestra which is so good that it goes abroad
a few times a year and plays concerts."
"Wow, can I go there?"
"See?" he laughed. "I said you'd want to go, and the answer is no, because
the school's full."
"Awws," I said, feeling disappointed. The orchestra at the school I went
to was okay, but it was nothing special. The county orchestra was more fun
and I was hoping that I would be able to apply to the national youth
orchestra, but when there had been an opening for an oboe player, I didn't
feel I was ready."
"Are you ready now?"
"I think I'm good enough to try," I said carefully. "Playing with the
county orchestra just proved to me that I'm doing better than I thought.
Sure the music is harder and the quality expected higher, but I never
struggle."
"Well, we'll have to see what opportunities come up to stretch your
skills."
I wondered what Dad meant by that. He didn't say anything, but waited for
me to finish my thoughts. I never finished them as I was interrupted by a
noise coming from the bed. Beth's eyes were flickering as if she was
trying to open them, but didn't quite have the energy. I grasped hold of
Dad's hand with excitement as we both watched and listened.
"Jill," eventually came a weak voice. It was obviously a great strain and
she drifted back to sleep.
"Who's Jill?" Dad asked.
My heart sank. Did he know? His face was inquisitive so he probably didn't
know. "A friend of hers," I replied, mentally crossing my fingers.
"I missed so much being away," said Dad sadly, fresh tears in his eyes.
"Beth never mentioned her on the phone. I've probably missed so much over
the last year."
"It's not your fault," I said, trying to cheer him up. It didn't work as
Dad just shook his head, tears falling gently down his face. "I've missed
a year of your lives, and the last year of your mum's. I can never regain
what I lost."
"Then look forward to the next few years, when the three of us can be
together."
* * *
Jill stopped her tale, as she unexpectedly broke down.
"Jill, Jill, it's okay," said Anna, flinging her arms around her
distraught partner.
Jill just continued to sob, her body quivering uncontrollably. Nothing
Anna or anybody else in the room could say anything to console her.
"What set her off?" Paula whispered to Emma.
It had obviously not been whispered quietly enough, as Jill said, "But we
won't spend the next few years together. I will never see my sister again
and outside school lessons, I can't see Julia. Julia is just a teacher to
me now, not a parent."
"What do you mean?" Wesley asked.
"It's getting late," David interrupted. "Why don't we all go to bed and
let Jill recover a bit."
Jessica stared at David intently and said, "Jill, it'll be okay. You'll
see your sister again when you finish school."
"No I won't," Jill cried, the tears that had started to dry erupting once
again. "We can never see our families again."
The room filled with questions as everybody seemed to want to talk at
once. Helen shrugged her shoulders and shouted, "QUIET!" When the
hullaballoo decreased she said gravely, "Jill's right, we'll never see our
friends and family again."
"Is this a Hayfield Hall rule, or is it the same at The Manor?" Cassandra
asked Melissa.
"I'm not aware that we're banned from seeing our family after we've
finished," answered Melissa. "I'll ask tomorrow."
"I've just talked to Rachel," David interjected. "She said that she and
someone called Ellen will be right down. Who's Ellen?"
"Dr Ellen Hansen is the chief psychiatrist at The Manor," explained
Melissa. "Who's Rachel?"
"Rachel is Dr Rachel Ruiz. She is our head psychiatrist."
"So how do you know about it?" Jessica asked Helen.
"On the first day we arrived, David worked it out. He mentioned it to
Rachel and she explained it to us. Since study partners don't have
secrets, I was told. I was devastated, as I was very close to my family."
"So why didn't you tell us?" demanded Emma.
"Because we were asked not to. Heck, I wasn't ready to be told. Do you
think you would have been?"
"No," eventually admitted Emma. "I don't think I'm ready now. I suppose
it's too late to change my mind about coming here?"
"Would you really want to leave?" asked Paula in apparent fright.
"I love the school," she said slowly. "But I miss my family, especially my
sister Sarah."
There was a sharp rap on the door. Helen looked around and asked,
"Everyone ready?"
"Let them in," a few voices said. With no dissenters, Helen opened the
door, letting in not just two stonily faced psychiatrists, but the two
serious heads of school.
Valentina
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