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Chapter 12 Brenda called the FBI office and made contact with Bill Cline. "Hello, Bill, this is Brenda Watson." "Brenda, good to hear from you, what do you have for me?" "I made a preliminary list of people for you to investigate. I don't know anything about them other than they seem to come around more than once and they have packages that could be used for drugs. How do you want me to deliver it to you?" "There is a small Italian restaurant across from the William Jefferson hotel on fifty-first that would work very nicely. We can have a nice dinner and I can see what you have listed to date." "What time would you like to meet?" "Let's say seven, what will you be wearing?" "A black skirt and a lacy white blouse. I'm about five-foot five without heels and have dark hair. See you then," she said. Brenda lowered the phone and placed it on her desk. She felt the nervousness of the adventure starting to build inside. Things were finally starting to happen. Brenda was early and entered the restaurant at around six-forty-five and walked to the bar and ordered a lemon drop. Having a false ID from the government had its pluses. She sat so that she could see everyone who entered and they could see her. "I haven't seen you in here before," the bartender said as he delivered Brenda's drink. "It's my first time, I'm meeting someone." "My name's Danny," he said as he extended his hand. "Hi, its nice to meet you, I'm Brenda," she said as she took his hand in hers. "Is it just that you haven't found this place before, or are you new to the city?" he asked. "I just moved here a couple of weeks ago." "Where did you come from?" "Virginia, I was going to school there." "What do you do now?" "I work for a modeling agency, how much do I owe you for the drink?" "Eight dollars." Brenda reached into her purse and laid a ten-dollar bill on the bar. "Keep the change," she said. "Thanks." Brenda sipped her drink and wondered what Bill Cline looked like. She knew that a person never looked like the voice on the phone and Bill Cline sounded like a man of Latin extraction, tall dark and handsome. She let her eyes wander around the room and liked the bare brick walls and the funky artworks hanging above the tables. The lighting was dim, kind of romantic and the aroma of olive oil and garlic permeated the establishment. Brenda could feel her stomach growling, she was hungry and would have to eat soon. I'd better watch what I drink or it will go right to my head, she thought. Brenda heard some noise coming from the doorway. A couple entered and the hostess seated them at a secluded table. Brenda was drawn to their interaction. They must be on a first date she thought. Brenda watched the subtle signals each would pass to the other, she was smiling and he was talking, she would reach across the table and touch his hand and then pull away, light dancing on her perfectly done nails. Brenda was so engrossed watching the couple that she didn't hear the man until he sat next to her. "Are you Brenda?" he asked. Brenda jumped when she heard his voice. "Yes." "I'm Bill Cline, it's nice to meet you," he said as he extended his hand. Brenda took his hand to shake. It felt cold and damp, almost like a fish. Yuk, was all she could think. "It's nice to finally meet you Bill," she said. Bill Cline wasn't what Brenda had expected. She had dreamt of a dark Latin lover type, the hero of love novels, but Bill wasn't even close to that. He was maybe five-foot- eight, severely over-weight, and the most noticeable feature was his hair, or lack of. Bill was in his early fifties and time had not been kind to him. He had bags under his light gray eyes, a rather bulbous nose which had turned purple and pockmarked with the consumption of too much alcohol. He had small lips, best described as sliver lips and his face was red from the exertion of walking from the cab to the restaurant. Brenda had a hard time keeping from staring at his hair, which was black with gray specks, grown long and combed from one side to the other to cover the total loss at the top of his head. Dandruff specks were very visible on the shoulders of his rumpled dark blue suit. Bill ordered a drink, a double shot of Jack on the rocks and downed it in two gulps. "I'll have another," he said to Danny. Danny looked at Bill and then at Brenda, the look of concern was obvious on his face. This couldn't be a date, a pretty girl like Brenda wouldn't be caught dead with a slob like the man she was with, either she was a hooker or this was business, and from the look of Brenda the latter applied. Danny delivered the drink to Bill and gathered the two twenty dollar bills from his hand. Brenda watched as Bill drank half of his second drink, God this guy's an alcoholic she thought. "Maybe we should get a table and eat something?" she asked. "Let me finish my drink and then I'll order one at the table," he said as the last of the drink slid down his throat. Bill had drank his cocktails so fast that the alcohol hadn't reached his blood stream yet so he seemed absolutely coherent as they walked to a table and were seated by the hostess. "May I order a double Jack on the rocks?" he asked the hostess. "I'll have your waiter bring it to you," she said. "Do you have the list for me?" he asked Brenda. "Yes, right here." Brenda knew she had better give him the list before the drinks hit him or he would forget he even had it. "How long will it take to investigate these people?" "It depends, maybe a month, it shouldn't take too long," he answered. The waiter returned with Bill's drink and placed it on the table in front of him. "Would you like another?" the waiter asked Brenda. Brenda had barely tasted her drink and shook her head no. "How thorough is the investigation?" she asked. "We'll know what size panties the women wear and how many condoms the guys use," Bill laughed as the alcohol started to be absorbed into his system. Brenda noted that Bill seemed outgoing and yet sad in a different way, she hoped the alcohol wouldn't change him too much. "Are you ready to order?" asked the waiter. "I'd like the veal picata," Brenda answered. "Soup or salad?" "Salad please." "And you sir?" Bill lowered his drink from his mouth and said, "I'll have the osso bucco, what's the soup today?" "Minestrone and clam chowder." "I'll take the chowder." "Very good, would you like another drink sir," noting that Bill had already finished his glass of bourbon. "I think we'll have a bottle of wine, send us a good red." Brenda was becoming uneasy with Bill's alcohol consumption, his first drink was just reaching his brain and the next three were waiting to help him along, and now wine, I hope Bill isn't a nasty drunk was all she could think about. Brenda had to do something to keep him from drinking so much. "Would you like a piece of bread?" "Sure." Brenda buttered a piece of bread and handed it to Bill. "Thanks." "Have you worked for the FBI for very long?" she asked, wanting him to have to think rather than drink. "Long enough to destroy my life," he answered with a sullen look on his face. "It destroyed your life?" "Yes, I lived for this job and then it took everything I had from me, my wife, my home, and my health." Brenda didn't like where this was going, but before she could change the subject Bill continued. "I gave them everything. I was shot on a stakeout and had to work in the office after that. I hated it and I guess I was pretty miserable at home so my wife found someone else who treated her nicely and it was bye, bye. She got the home so I ended up living in an apartment. I gained a lot of weight and my heart started to fail, I had a by-pass last year. I only have two more years until I retire and then I can do all the things I missed out on." The waiter returned with a bottle of wine and poured a small amount for Bill to taste. "Ah, hell, it tastes fine." The waiter poured both Bill and Brenda a glass of wine and left to get their food orders. Bill got a sad look on his face and looked as though he wanted to say something but as the drinks took effect he couldn't find his thought, he just felt sad. "Are you alright?" Brenda asked. "Yeh, I'm fine, I was trying to remember something." The waiter served their meals and left. "You know, we have been trying to find out about this drug thing for quite a while," he said. "I hope Tiffany and I are able to help." "Where is Tiffany, I'd like to meet her too?" "She had a photo shoot." "Maybe she can come next time," Bill said as the words were starting to slur. "Is there anything you can tell me about the investigation?" Brenda asked. "Not really, after Natalia was killed the whole thing went cold and now you're our best hope of finding something on these people," Bill said as he filled his glass with more wine. Bill's speech was beginning to slur badly and Brenda knew asking anymore questions would be futile. The rest of the meal was eaten in silence. Bill drank the rest of the bottle of wine and finally finished his dinner. Brenda waited until he was done. "How does this work, do I pay you for dinner or what?" she asked. Brenda was disgusted with Bill. He had come to dinner with her and drank until he was drunk. First he was disgusting to look at and then he did this, drank until he was oblivious to what ever was going on. Brenda wanted to leave and leave now. "I have a credit card, don't worry, the government will pick up the bill." "Then I'm leaving, I have to go home." Bill could see that Brenda was angry and he knew why, he had made a fool of himself. "Brenda, please wait, I want to say something to you." "There is nothing to say, I have to leave." "Wait, please, I know I drank too much tonight and I don't blame you for wanting to leave. Most girls would want to leave when they first see me. I know what I look like and almost every girl I talk to is short and to the point and may I say it, a bitch, wanting nothing to do with me. I walked into this restaurant tonight and saw you sitting at the bar waiting for me and my stomach dropped. You are so pretty and I, I'm so ugly and, and , I thought you would be repulsed, and, God this is so hard to say, I thought you wouldn't want to talk to me so I thought drinking would help me talk to you and, and, I know I drank too much, can you forgive me?" Brenda looked at Bill and felt nothing but sadness for this man. He was so insecure that he felt he had to get drunk to talk to her and she felt nothing but contempt until he bared his soul. Brenda reached across the table and took Bill's wrist into her hand. "Bill, please don't ever feel that way with me. I just wish you didn't drink so much, I would have liked to have been able to talk to you." "I'm so sorry. You have no idea how I felt when I saw you, you're so pretty and God I'm such a jerk." Brenda knew Bill was feeling sorry for himself, and the booze wasn't helping, she knew she had to leave. "Bill, I'll call you tomorrow, are you alright to get home by yourself?" "I'll be fine." Brenda went to the bar and asked Danny to call for a cab. "Is your friend alright?" "He'll be fine, just don't let him leave without a ride." "I won't. Please come back again, I'd like to buy you a drink." Brenda blushed and then said, "I'd like that." The taxi arrived and Brenda left after saying goodnight to Bill. She didn't like leaving him but she knew he was a big boy and could take care of himself. Brenda felt bad for Bill, he was a really sweet man but had his priorities screwed up. His insecurities were ruining his life and if he didn't get a grip on himself, when he retired he would drink himself to death. Brenda thought this evening would be exciting, passing on information about the assignment, being undercover, all the typical mystery excitement. This evening didn't end as she thought it would, Bill was a drunk and a pathetic person to be around, she felt sad. There was no excitement passing along information, just the opposite was true, it was boring. Bill wasn't the exciting Latin lover she envisioned, he was only a sad man with a job to do and a drunk beside. Where had she gone wrong she wondered, where was the gun battle, the skulking, the shadows? Here she was in a cab riding home to an empty apartment wondering what she had done. She did this thing for excitement and had become a woman for what, to be an undercover agent saving the world, hell she could have done that as a man. Brenda lowered her hand to her leg and her nails grazed her knee. The slippery feel of her nylons on her nails made her think of something else, her femininity. Brenda's legs were crossed at the knee, her skirt had raised to mid thigh. She saw the driver staring at her in the mirror and for some reason she like it, she felt like a woman, not cheap, not sluttish, but attractive, for some reason she liked the man's stares. Brenda arrived at home and went to change. She closed the door to her apartment and it bumped her chest. She felt the bolt of lightning go through her body, "OUCH," God what was that all about? Brenda removed her clothes and looked at her very sensitive chest. Her nipples were red and swollen. Her breasts were puffy, and God it hurt to touch them. Brenda became worried, she wondered what was happening to her, her breasts had never felt like this before, I'm going to die was all she could think about. She finally went to bed and slept, she would call the doctor in the morning. Morning came and Brenda had another dilemma, what to wear. She felt especially girlish today and her chest still hurt if she touched it. Brenda downed her hormones and continued her search for just the right thing to wear. Brenda found a loose fitting blouse and a short skirt that complimented the outfit. She felt her legs and noticed a small amount of stubble. I'll have to shave them again. This girl thing is becoming a major amount of work to look nice. Brenda turned on her shower and waited for the water to warm. She entered the shower and lathered her legs and drew the shaver along their length. Her skin had grown softer and her legs seemed to have more shape, she mused. These changes were exciting her, she loved the feeling of her growing femininity. Brenda rinsed the lather from her legs and soaped her body. When she reached her chest the water seemed to have taken part of the pain away and only the swelling remained, she became excited, she was growing breasts, her skin was tight and sensitive as her new flesh rose beneath it. Brenda turned off the water and dried herself. She found a pair of lacy thong panties to wear. She no longer had to worry about showing that thing she was becoming to despise, the hormones had seen to that. It had been months since her last erection and she had become very adept at tucking herself back. She slid the panties up her soft smooth legs and shivered at the feeling of them as they caressed her skin. She kept thinking of how cruel it was to have been born a man and missing out on wearing clothes like this for most of her life. She found a matching bra and inserted her breast forms and noted that they seemed very tight against her breasts, almost uncomfortable. Brenda looked in the mirror and saw that she now had cleavage, not a lot but it definitely was cleavage, she smiled, today she could wear a blouse that showed she had that cleavage. Brenda did her makeup with a dramatic touch, she felt a need to look especially nice. Brenda rolled a pair of sheer charcoal pantyhose up her legs, she loved the way they felt after she had shaved, sexy. Brenda looked through her clothing and changed her mind, she would wear a skirt to mid thigh, a camisole, and her Ann Taylor blazer which matched her skirt. Her black four-inch sandals finished the look. It was a warm autumn morning for this time of year so Brenda didn't need a coat to ward off the cold. She stood waiting for the subway train to arrive and started to feel uneasy, all eyes were on her, the women and especially the men were staring at her. Brenda looked around and wondered what was wrong. "You're very pretty this morning young lady," the old woman next to her said. "Thank you," she replied. Then she knew why people were staring, she was gorgeous. She stood out like a rose in a field of thistles, Brenda didn't know whether to smile or hide her head from embarrassment. The arriving train made the decision for her. She boarded the car and remained standing, her skirt was short enough and sitting would just make her situation worse, she was becoming very self-conscious. As men past her they would rub themselves against her trying to cop a feel. By the time she reached her destination she felt violated, why do men think they can do things like that to me she wondered. Brenda felt dirty. Brenda entered the lobby of her building and the security guard looked up and smiled. "You look exceptionally pretty today Miss Watson," he said. Brenda blushed, "Thank you Carl," she replied. The compliment made her feel good again, God I love being a woman she thought as she heard her heels clicking on the polished marble floor. Brenda entered her office and called Carla to announce her arrival. She sat down at her desk and crossed her legs at the knee and slipped one leg behind the other at her ankle. She loved the feeling of her nylon clad legs as they rubbed against each other. She felt her heart beats increase when she rubbed her nails down her thigh to her knee, she was becoming aroused. Gain control Brenda, or it will be a long day. Everyone that entered the suite complimented Brenda on how stunning she looked. "Brenda, you look better each day, how do you do it?" Melissa asked. "I don't." "Yes you do, you're gorgeous today, I just wish you were taller so I could hire you as a model." "You're going to make me blush." "You're a beautiful woman Brenda be proud of that. I'm glad you wore something nice today, I forgot to tell you that we are to attend a party at the mid-town galleries this evening, so I hope you haven't made plans already. The girls will be modeling several different clothing lines and I'll need you to help get them ready and to mingle with the guests, I hope you don't mind?" "Of course not Miss Benson." "God, stop being so formal with me, call me Melissa, will you?" "Yes, Melissa." "Good, and I love that camisole." "Thank you." Melissa entered her office and Brenda saw the light go on that indicated she was talking on her private line. The light went off and then Brenda heard Melissa's cell phone ring, but she couldn't hear the conversation. Melissa exited her office thirty minutes later. "Brenda, I'm meeting my date for tonight and I'm going to pick out a suit for him to wear this evening. I want him to look perfect with my dress, I'll be back in a couple of hours." "Okay Melissa." Fifteen minutes later Mario entered the suite and laid several packages on the receiving table. "Could you sign this Brenda?" he said as he handed her the signature board. Mario looked at Brenda and didn't smile or even acknowledge the fact the she looked very nice this day. Brenda knew that subconsciously she had done this for Mario, she was really smitten by this man. She knew he wasn't available but it didn't hurt to make him notice her, it made her feel good when he complimented her. "Well good morning to you too Mister Mopey face," she said. Mario was in a funk, that was obvious, but why, even on the darkest of days he had a smile for Brenda. "I'm sorry Brenda, I'm not in a very good mood today." "Why, what happened?" "My girl friend broke up with me last night." Brenda's stomach jumped and then she asked, "Why would she do that?" "She has been seeing another guy on the side and decided to dump me. I thought we had something special going on, but I guess I was wrong." Brenda stood and walked around her desk and stood directly in front of Mario. Mario really hadn't noticed Brenda through his anger but now as she came into focus he saw what a beautiful woman she was. Brenda had always been just another girl to flirt with and tease, after all he was in love with his precious girlfriend, he may have flirted but he really only had eyes for her. Mario looked at Brenda's flawlessly made up face and really looked at her for the first time. Brenda was cute, very cute but she had an inner beauty that shown in her eyes. These were eyes he could fall into and never want to come back again. He looked down and saw the barest amount of cleavage peeking above her camisole and then farther down to her trim waist, to her rounded hips and then to her curvaceous legs. Mario had never looked at Brenda like this before and he saw a woman that was exciting him like no other woman had ever done before. "Oh Mario, I'm so sorry for you," she said as she reached out and touched his hand. Maybe it was static electricity or something else that made Mario jump, but Brenda's touch had made him feel wonderful. "Don't feel sorry Brenda, I'll get over it. I'm sorry I didn't notice when I came in this morning but you look beautiful." "I do? Thank you, I'm glad you noticed." "Brenda, I have a lot of deliveries to make today but I would be honored if you would have lunch with me." "You're asking me to lunch?" Brenda couldn't believe her ears, she had dreamed of a moment like this from the first time she had seen Mario and now it had come true. "Yes I am, Will you?" "I'd be honored, come by when you can, Carla will cover my desk while we're gone." "See you later and Brenda, thanks." "For what?" "For being so beautiful." Brenda couldn't answer, all she could do was blush. After Mario left Brenda called her doctor to voice her concern about her breasts. "Doctor, the reason I called you is that my chest really hurts lately." "Let me get your chart, ah here it is. Yes I imagine it does, from what I can see here is that your previous doctor put you on a low amount of estrogen so your body would get used to it and to produce feminine curves but not so great as to destroy your masculinity. You have had some development as a female, mostly in your hip area and a small amount of breast growth. You asked me for breasts so I significantly increased your estrogen so that would happen. You already had some estrogen in your system, so the increase should, and I can guess it did, jump start breast tissue growth. You're becoming a young woman Brenda and because of your age it should happen quite rapidly. You have probably lost the function of your male parts by now, hormones will do that you know. I would recommend removal of your testes in the future and that way we could stop the anti-androgens which would be much better for your body." "How long will it be before I can throw away my breast forms?" "That depends on you, all girls develop differently whether they were born that way or as in your case a girl that is transitioning." "Transitioning?" "Yes, that's what you are doing isn't it, becoming a woman?" "I guess I am, I really haven't given it much thought, I just know I want breasts." "Brenda, you're scaring me, there is a lot more to what you're doing than just growing breasts. The hormones you're taking are going to change you more than just making your breasts swell, your whole body is going to change. Your mind won't be the same after this and you probably won't think like a man ever again. They can change your sexuality because you will want to prove your femininity to yourself and what better way than to be with a man that finds you attractive. These aren't things you play with Brenda, are you sure this is the direction you want to go?" "More than anything." "Well, it's your decision to make and we did promise to do what ever you wished when you started this thing, I wish you luck Brenda and don't worry about the discomfort in your breasts, you're just becoming a woman. Come see me in three weeks, I want to take a look at you and see if I should back off on your estrogen levels." "Thank you doctor." Brenda felt better about her chest, but now the doctor had planted the seed of doubt in her mind. Was what she was doing the right thing or was it just another adventure Matt always jumped into without any thought of what the consequences might be. Brenda loved the feel of her small but developing breasts but she really hadn't thought about the rest of what she was doing. Was her lunch date with Mario just a way to prove her femininity and was she attracted to him, or was her brain changing like the doctor said it would? Did she really want to become the woman she portrayed or did she just have a fascination with breasts and after she had her breasts would she want to keep them, after all, they were forever unless she had them cut off. What about the rest of what the man had said, remove her testes, just a nice way of saying cut off your balls, ouch, just the thought of it hurt. Brenda started thinking about what she was doing. The agency had tried to make her appear to be a woman as a disguise and she loved the way she felt, it was exciting, she wasn't Matt, she was Brenda, she was looking at gender from the other side, but now it was becoming serious, this wasn't a game anymore, this was the rest of her life. Brenda lowered the phone and placed it on the cradle. She didn't feel good anymore, she had doubts. She thought of the time she went out and ended up kissing, no almost raping that guy just to prove she was a woman, she felt so stupid, what a fool she thought. She finally realized that she was playing a dangerous game with her life. Brenda had jumped into this assignment with her eyes wide shut. She had persuaded Dirk to go along with her optimism thinking this would be fun but now it had become a real life issue. She no longer knew whether she was thinking rationally about her situation, she wanted breasts and she wanted to see Mario in a romantic situation, and yet she now had this nagging thought in her mind that what she was doing was wrong. The girl thing was fine as long as she didn't forget that she was Matt, but what she was doing was becoming Brenda and now she wasn't sure if that was the right thing to do, damn, why did she have to call the doctor, everything was so simple, be a girl, have breasts, date the guy, just do what every red blooded American girl does, except she wasn't a girl, fuck, why did she make that call. Tiffany walked into the suite and interrupted Brenda's thoughts. "Wow, you really look nice," Tiffany said. "Thanks." "Are you going to the show tonight," Tiffany asked. "Melissa just told me about it, I guess I'll go, its not like I have anything else to do," Brenda answered with sarcasm in her voice. "My goodness didn't we get off on the wrong side of the bed this morning." "I'm sorry, I have some issues to deal with and, crap, I need someone to talk to." "How about me?" "Maybe tonight, and if I do please don't be judgmental." "I won't, I promise." The morning past and Mario came to take Brenda to lunch. "Hi good looking, ready to go?" "I guess." "Wow, what happened to you Miss Sunshine?" "I'm sorry, but I'm having a really bad day." "Do you want to talk about it?" "Maybe, I'm not sure." "Hey, you don't have to go to lunch with me if you don't want to." "I'm sorry Mario, its not that, I really do want to have lunch with you and I'm afraid I might be bad company." "Come on, let's go, you're so cute you couldn't be bad company." Brenda couldn't help herself, she stood and smiled at Mario, he had a way of making her feel better about herself. It must be that sexy smile she thought. Mario watched as Brenda walked toward him, her legs seemed to go on forever as she perched on her heels. Brenda had an athletic figure, not voluptuous but trim, it seemed to fit her like a glove. He wondered why he hadn't noticed her before? She really was a stunning looking girl. "What are you hungry for?" he asked. "Anything would be fine," she replied. "I only have a half of an hour, how about pizza, there is a place right around the corner." "That sounds good, let's go." Mario took Brenda's hand and led her to the elevator. Her head told her to pull it away from him but her heart said to hold it tighter. He finally let her hand go when they reached the pizza restaurant. Mario ordered a slice for both of them and led Brenda to an empty table. Brenda lowered herself and tried to pull her skirt down with little success, she would leave little doubt as to the beauty of her legs. Mario took Brenda's hand back into his and asked, " What was bothering you earlier?" "Some conflicts I'm having, I'll work it out. What about you Mr. Mopey, you seem a bit more cheerful this afternoon." "I was still thinking about that bitch dumping me this morning. After I saw you, you changed my whole outlook on things." "What do you mean by that, did I scare you or something?" Brenda giggled. "You've got to be kidding, you're gorgeous today." "Thank you, it took a lot of work to look like this." "You could show up in a plastic bag and look cute, don't undersell yourself." "You'll make me blush saying things like that." "It would look good on you. I'll get the pizza." Brenda was glad Mario offered to pick up the pizza slices, she didn't want to have to try to keep her skirt pulled down more than once today, I'll have to remember to wear a longer one next time, she mused. Mario returned and placed the slice in front of Brenda. Steam was pouring off the slice and the abundant cheese was running off onto the paper beneath it. "Mmm, that smells so good," she stated. "Let it cool a little or you'll burn the top of your mouth." "Tell me more about your girl friend, why did she dump you?" "She was seeing another guy all the while she was dating me. The worse part is that he was a friend of mine, we played on the same softball team." "I'm sorry to hear that, why did she choose him over you." "He asked her to marry him." "Did she date him for a long time?" "I don't know, I didn't even know she was seeing him and I don't think he knew about me. Jim isn't the kind of guy that tries to steal another guy's girl friend." "Have you talked to him about it?" "No, and I don't think I will, it wouldn't be fair to him, I'm just angry at Jessica for doing this to me." "What are you going to do?" "Find someone nicer than her and bring that someone to their wedding, do you have any plans for later next year?" flirted Mario. "Now I know what Cheryl meant, you are the worse Mario," she laughed. Brenda's pizza had cooled enough to eat and she took a bite, they make the best pizza here she thought as the flavors invaded her mouth. "Are you saying I'm rushing things?" "You silly goose, you don't even know me and you're asking me to go to a wedding with you?" "Okay, I guess I rushed things a little, would you go out to dinner with me instead?" "I'd like that, when?" "Is this Friday too soon?" "That would be perfect, what should I wear?" "Something casual, we'll go for a burger and then watch the Knicks play ball." "What's the Knicks?" "Our basketball team, it'll be fun." Brenda finished a third of her pizza slice and wrapped it in her napkin to eat later. "Is that all you're going to eat?" asked Mario as he finished his slice. "I'm full, I'll finish it later." "You'll waste away to nothing if you don't eat." "I put weight on just breathing air and I don't want to get fat, so I don't eat that much." "Are you ready to go? I only have a half of an hour for lunch and I have to get back to work." Mario reached down and helped Brenda to her feet. Damn she has nice legs, he thought as her skirt lifted almost to her panties. Brenda blushed and reached down to pull her skirt to a decent level, it was thrilling to expose her legs this way but she knew nice girls didn't do that and she was a nice girl. I'll have to wear something less daring next time I come to work, or I won't be a nice girl for very long. Brenda placed her pizza slice in her purse and was surprised when Mario took her hand and started walking back to her office. His hand felt rough and strong, it was the hand of a man that worked hard for a living. His hand made her feel safe and protected as they walked. Mario liked the feel of Brenda's hand in his, it was small and petite, soft and feminine and it was making him forget all about Jessica, Brenda was a special girl and he was beginning to like her. "When I get back to the office I'll give you my address, what time will you be by Friday night?" "The game doesn't start until eight and the burger place is near the garden and I'd like to spend some time with you before the game so I'll pick you up around five if that's alright?" "I'll be ready." Brenda wrote down her address on a piece of paper and handed it to Mario. "Thank you for the pizza," she said. "Your welcome, anytime you'd like to go again let me know." "I will," Brenda said with her sexiest smile. The afternoon past quickly and it was time to go to the party at the artist's gallery. Brenda and the models were taken to the building in a van that seated all of them. Brenda was finally going to have some time to talk to her friend. The gallery was located in an old warehouse that had been converted to a high end gallery. The gallery was located on the second floor of the building. Great care was taken to keep the feel of the original building. Cast iron stairs with worn marble treads led to the second floor, which had the original flooring. The wood had been sanded and varnished to a luxurious shine and the brick walls were sandblasted to a clean rough finish. Paintings were hung on the walls and various partitions were placed about the floor with more paintings on display. The showing wasn't to start for another hour so the girls would have time to get ready for the fashion show. Various designers had sent samples of their current lines to be seen. They ran the gamete from business to dressy or casual to sexy, it was going to be quite a night. Brenda wanted to spend some time with Tiffany as they really hadn't had much time to talk since Tiffany had been hired, and tonight would be a good time for them to become friends so when they were seen talking a red flag wouldn't go up. "Hi Tiffany, let me help you set up your wardrobe for the show," Brenda said. "Thanks, I'd like that." "What are you going to wear first?" "I think they want to go with the more conservative suits first and then work toward the more sexy items. God Brenda, you really look hot today," Tiffany said and then she whispered, "You have cleavage, how did you get that?" Just as softly Brenda answered, "My hormones are kicking in and my breasts are growing." "Oh my God, I'm not going to grow breasts am I?" Tiffany asked with obvious concern in her voice. "No Tiffany you won't unless you want to. That's what I wanted to talk to you about and there is no easy way to say this other than just come out with it, I'm thinking of transitioning into a woman." Tiffany looked at Brenda in stunned silence. This assignment had just gone beyond some casual undercover work, it was fucking up her friend. " You're right Brenda, we have to talk and we can't do that here, after the show I want to take you home with me, you can stay the night, but we really need to talk." "Okay, I'd like that." Brenda hung the fashions in order for Tiffany and then went to help Connie. "You should have helped me first Brenda, I'm the star here," Connie admonished Brenda in a condescending voice. "I'm sorry Connie, I just wanted to get to know Tiffany better, I'll remember next time," Brenda answered, thinking, what a bitch. "I'll be right back, I have to go to the little girl's room," Connie said. Brenda sorted Connie's fashions and was done by the time Connie returned. Brenda noticed a trace of white powder under her nose and she seemed to be in a better mood. "Connie, you'd better wipe under your nose or people will know what you were doing." Connie turned scarlet with embarrassment, she had just been busted and even worse, by the receptionist, this could get bad. "Don't worry Connie, I'm cool with it, where did you get it?" Brenda asked. "It was in my purse, would you like to try some?" "No, I can't." Brenda had to put Connie at ease about her drug use or she might blow her own cover if she was judgmental. "Why not, it will make you feel good." "I really can't, I'm allergic to it. I tried it in high school and my heart stopped. Luckily one of my friend knew what to do until the ambulance arrived or I would be dead." "Oh my God, you poor thing, can you do anything else, like grass or meth?" "I'm afraid to try so all I ever do is have a drink." "Well at least that's better than nothing at all. Did I tell you that you look really nice today?" "No, but thanks." "I'd love to borrow that skirt and heels someday if it would be all right?" Connie wants to borrow my clothes, Brenda thought, how much more girly than that can I get, another girl wants to borrow my clothes, Brenda wanted to hug herself and she decided Connie wasn't such a bitch after all. The show started and Brenda stayed behind the changing partition to help the girls dress. They would wear an outfit and walk around the room mingling with the guests answering questions about the clothing they were wearing The usual walk on the runway would last maybe a minute at the most, but these walks were lasting for more that ten minutes each and the girls were returning out of order so things were getting hectic. "Brenda, please pay attention to which girl is returning, we're falling behind," Melissa said. Melissa had just arrived with her date and went behind the partition to help Brenda. "I'm sorry Melissa, I thought I had everything in order." "Don't worry, I'll help you, you take those four racks and I'll take these three, we'll be done in no time." "Thanks Melissa, you look absolutely stunning." Melissa did look stunning in her Versaci gown, She had borrowed it from one of her prized customers and here she was working right along with Brenda in a dress that must have cost five thousand dollars. "Who's your date Melissa, he's very handsome." "Oh that's Gerald Bratton. When I need a date I ask him to take me, we're just friends. He's the head of the drug enforcement unit for the NYPD." "Oh." Now Brenda knew what was meant by keeping your enemies closer, Melissa would know right from the horses mouth so to speak what, where, and when the drug unit was going to do anything, no wonder she had never been busted. The girls donned their last outfits and went to engage in conversation with the guests. Tiffany wore brown four-inch sandals, nude sheer panty hose, a mid thigh brown leather miniskirt, a beige camisole and a matching brown leather vest, she looked hot and when she saw herself in he mirror she knew she would have trouble with the male guests. She would have wanted to have a date with herself if she could have. "God Tiffany, you're so pretty, I'm jealous," Brenda said to her friend. "Don't be, its not all that great having guys falling all over themselves for you." "I don't know about that," Brenda giggled. "You're going to have trouble yourself little girl, you really look nice tonight." "I doubt it, not with all you girls in the room, no one will even see me." "They'll see you believe me," Tiffany whispered again, "If I was Dirk I'd be after you in a heartbeat so don't sell yourself short." Brenda blushed when Tiffany said what she did about being Dirk and being attracted to her, now things were really getting strange. Tiffany and Brenda entered the gallery and began to mingle. A tall very handsome man came to talk to Tiffany. "I was watching you all night young lady, you made the other models pale in comparison." This man had extraordinarily good looks and was dressed impeccably. He was turning heads wherever he went. Tiffany hadn't noticed him earlier nor did she care to notice him right now, after all he was just a man and she had no use for a man. Tiffany felt her face begin to warm, my God, I'm blushing, I don't believe it, this guy is making me blush. "Thank you, but you must be blind, the others are much prettier," Tiffany replied. She couldn't believe she just said that, she was asking for a compliment and even more unsettling she was flirting. "There was no doubt that you were the star tonight, you were turning heads everywhere you went. What's your name?" "Tiffany, Tiffany Rollins." Tiffany wanted to say more but she was dumb struck by her inability to talk to this man. "I'm Robert Stanton, Tiffany. I'm very pleased to meet you, will you join me for a glass of wine?" "I would like that very much." No you wouldn't, what in the world is wrong with your mouth Tiffany, think before you talk and while you're at it why don't you remove your hand from Robert's arm and escort yourself to the wine bar, you look too comfortable walking arm in arm with this man. "What would you like Tiffany, white or red?" "I'll have white please." Robert handed Tiffany a glass of chardonnay and escorted her to look at the paintings. Robert was quite knowledgeable about the various artist's works which were on display. Tiffany was becoming mesmerized by Robert. His soft melodious voice, his good looks, and all the information she was learning about the paintings, was making her warm. She found herself leaning into him as he spoke and the alcohol made her relax to the whole man, woman thing. Tiffany enjoyed the warmth radiating from Robert's body as they strolled the gallery together arm in arm looking so much like lovers. "Oh Robert, what a beautiful painting," Tiffany gushed. It was a painting of a man and woman shown looking across a lake from the rear, she was wearing a virginal white dress and he was wearing dark clothing of the era, probably the 1700s and they were holding hands, a most romantic pose. "Yes it is. It's one of my favorites." Tiffany was drawn into the painting, the couple intrigued her, who were they and the romance of the painting made her feel as though she was there, she moved closer to Robert wanting to feel his manliness, she wanted to feel like the girl in the picture. Robert looked at Tiffany and knew that now was the moment he had waited for. He turned her head toward his with his finger and saw that her red lips were slightly parted waiting to be touched. He lowered his lips to hers and they kissed, softly but with passion. Tiffany responded, this was heaven she thought, the soft ruggedness of his kiss and the feel of the slight growth of beard touching her face, she pictured herself as the woman in the painting being kissed by the man she loved. Their lips parted and their eyes met with a lovers gaze, not a word was spoken as they kissed once again, this time with much more passion as Tiffany pulled this man tight to her. This kiss lasted much longer than the last and finally they parted lips knowing that they must have been quite a show for the other attendees. Tiffany opened her eyes and looked around the gallery and saw the smirks and smiles of those who saw the expression of love the couple had displayed. Tiffany felt embarrassed for being so open with Robert, she had felt love toward this man and kissed him so very openly, what would people think, they really weren't a couple, not yet she thought as her mind returned to the painting and she took his hand in hers. She looked down and saw her long dainty fingers and red nails intertwined with his strong manicured hands, they looked perfect like this, lovers hand in hand, Tiffany let a sigh pass her lips, she was falling in love. Just as suddenly as Tiffany had fallen in love, Dirk surfaced to break that spell. What in the hell am I doing he thought, shit I just kissed a man, no, I kissed him twice and now I'm holding his hand, oh my God, Tiffany pulled her hand from Roberts' and said, "I need to go to the bathroom." Tiffany almost ran to the door and threw it open and found the toilet. She looked down and threw up the wine she drank. God a man kissed me, fuck, what's happening to me she wondered, as tears formed in her eyes and then ran down her cheeks and dropped onto the floor. Tiffany stayed in the bathroom until Brenda came to find her. She had been in there for over ten minutes and Robert was beginning to worry. "Tiffany, are you alright?" Brenda asked. She could tell her friend had been crying. "No, I'm not alright, that man, that Robert kissed me." "He kissed you, is that all?" "Is that all, didn't you hear me, he kissed me." "And what's wrong with that, God he's so handsome I wish he would kiss me." "Yuk, Brenda, you're sick. Brenda, I'm a man and kissing another man isn't right, I just feel sick that I let it happen." "Tiffany, right now you're a beautiful woman and not a man. Robert doesn't know you were a man and you shouldn't feel any guilt as to what happened. You should feel wonderful to have a man like that want you, you're a girl now Tiffany, go back and enjoy your evening." "But I'm not a girl and I don't want to be a girl, I hate all this deception BS, I just want to go back to being Dirk." "You know you can't until this assignment is over and if you act like Dirk, Tiffany will be killed. Let yourself go, be Tiffany heart and soul, it will save your life." "Do I have to kiss Robert again?" Tiffany sniffed. "Only if you want, now come on silly girl your world awaits." The two girls returned after Tiffany repaired her makeup and the little actress was all smiles once again. There were no more kisses that night, Tiffany couldn't bring herself to do that but there was a spark that Robert had lit in her heart, which she would have to deal with. The party ended and Brenda followed Tiffany home for their soul barring discussion. "I like your apartment, it's cozy," Brenda said as she looked around the front room. The FBI had provided Tiffany with a very nice apartment, nicer than Brenda's and it was in a much nicer area. "Thank you, I like it but I do miss my place back home." "Do you mean that dump you were living in before this assignment?" "Hey, it wasn't a dump." "If living in a laundry hamper isn't a dump then I don't know what is?" Dirk had a bad habit of throwing things everywhere, especially his clothes when he was living in Virginia and Matt was always reprimanding him on what a slob he was. Tiffany's apartment was different though, It was as though a different person lived there, everything was in its place, no clothes were strewn about, in fact it looked as though it had been dusted, something Dirk would have never done. "I don't know what happened, I moved in here and I just couldn't let it look bad, what girl could?" "Did you say girl?" "You know what I mean, I just couldn't let it be dirty." "How's your part of the investigation going, have you found anything yet?" Brenda asked. "Not really, I haven't been here long enough, what about you?" "I've found a couple of things. I made a list and gave it to Cline for investigation and Connie uses drugs." "How do you know that?" "She had white powder under her nose after a trip to the restroom." "It figures, no wonder she's such a bitch." "I don't know the rest of the girls very well yet and it might be easier for you to get information from them than it would be for me." "Any one else that might be of interest?" "Just supposition, Ron the engineer spends way too much time on our floor and much of it with Melissa and some of the delivery guys might be bringing drugs with their packages." "Speaking of delivery guys, the buzz is that you're seeing Mario the UPS guy." Brenda turned bright red, betraying any though of lying about her feelings for Mario. "It's nothing we just went to lunch." "He told Donna you were going to go to the basketball game with him, are you?" "Yes," Brenda said sheepishly. "Matt, what are you thinking, you could compromise this investigation." "Please don't call me Matt, Matt's gone, I'm Brenda now." "You're not Brenda, you're Matt, Brenda is just a charade for this assignment and you'd better not forget that, when this is over Brenda is going away." Brenda's eyes filled with tears when she heard the harsh words coming from her friend. "How can you say that, I love being Brenda," she said as the tears ran down her face and dropped onto her legs. Now Tiffany felt like shit, she had just made her best friend cry and only because she had decided that they both hated being girls. Tiffany went to Brenda and took her in her arms and held her while she wept openly. "I'm sorry Brenda, I didn't know you felt that way." "Well I do," she replied indignantly. "I thought you were kidding earlier when you said you wanted to transition." "I wasn't." "You weren't kidding about your breasts than, were you?" "No, I want breasts, I want everything." Tiffany let her friend go and stood. She backed away and looked at Brenda. "Brenda could you stand for a minute please?" "Why?" "I want to see something." Brenda rose and stood looking at her friend. Tiffany really hadn't looked at Brenda for some time. When they were training they looked like girls all the time but Tiffany could always see a little of Matt when he looked really hard. Maybe it was the surfer's shoulders or little things like that. They had been harder to spot as the training sessions came to an end and probably because of the hormones, Brenda had grown softer looking. Tiffany really hadn't taken a good look at her friend for a while and now she did. Brenda's face was soft looking, very cute and with out the subtle masculinity that was once there. Her hair was long enough to frame her face perfectly, her brows plucked and lifted to make her eyes appear large and bright. Her makeup although a bit smudged from crying, looked like it belonged on her face, it was sultry and sexy. She was lucky to have a barely noticeable Adam's apple, Tiffany had seen bigger bumps on real girls. Her shoulders were now narrow and soft looking, her skin was soft and smooth, almost like velvet. Tiffany's gaze continued down to Brenda's breasts and the cleavage swelling from her camisole. Her waist was tiny and her hips swelled as they reached her leather miniskirt. Her eyes continued down to her legs and she could see the curves the hormones had sculpted from the masculine muscle that was once there. Finally down to her dainty feet wrapped with sexy sandals with four-inch heels, there was no longer a man standing in front of Tiffany but a woman, a very pretty woman. Tiffany felt her penis becoming engorged, her friend was turning her on. Brenda didn't like the way Tiffany was staring at her, she felt dirty and exposed. They were friends and now she felt like something else, like some dirty tart. "You're beautiful," Tiffany said with sincerity in her voice. Brenda didn't know how to respond. She looked at her friend and saw a kind expression on her face and she melted, she felt pretty again. "Thank you," she said softly. "Do you really want to remain a woman?" "Yes, more than anything, I feel so right." "Why are your breasts still growing?" "I'm taking more estrogen now. When we were taking it before they didn't want to screw up our bodies so everything couldn't be reversed. The hormones softened our bodies and gave us some curves but not a lot. For some reason my breasts started to grow, just a little and it was then that I wanted real breasts. I asked the doctor about it and he increased my hormone levels a lot and it made things happen a lot faster, I can feel my whole body changing." "You've grown more feminine looking than before, you look like a real girl." "Thank you, that means a lot to me." "May I see your breasts." Brenda felt embarrassed, she wasn't sure if she wanted to show them to anybody. "I don't know, they're not very big." "Please Brenda, I just have to see if what you're saying is true." "Okay, I'll show you, but no laughing," Brenda said with a smile. Brenda removed her camisole, bra, and forms as Tiffany watched. Tiffany was becoming aroused as her friend removed her intimate clothing and when she saw Brenda's small swelling breasts and large red nipples she went to Brenda. Tiffany raised her hand and touched Brenda's nipple oh so softly and felt it grow hard. A bolt of lightning crashed through Brenda's body and she moaned. She had never felt anything so intensely seductive in her life as Tiffany's touch. Tiffany looked at the wonton expression on Brenda's face and lowered her lips and they touched each other's mouth. Brenda's lips felt different than Roberts did, and it felt as though she was kissing a girl. Brenda's lips parted and Tiffany thrust her tongue into Brenda's mouth. Tiffany was disappearing and Dirk was taking over the seduction. His hand found Brenda's breast and began to caress the nipple. He felt Brenda yield to his advances, she was like a virgin being seduced for the first time. Brenda broke their kiss and whispered, "We shouldn't be doing this," and then returned her lips to his. Tiffany was feeling the discomfort of the gaff as she became hard. Brenda no longer wore her gaff, the hormones had made her impotent and she no longer worried about getting an erection and now wore the panties of her choice, thongs. Tiffany felt Brenda's tongue caressing hers with a passion built over months of celibacy. Brenda's passion was growing beyond her control and she now loved what her friend was doing to her but felt some guilt anyway. "Please stop," she whimpered and pulled his mouth back to hers, "Please," she whispered as she felt her skirt grow loose when Dirk had found the zipper and lowered it. Brenda felt her skirt slide down her legs and Dirks hand rub her feminine rear. Her cheeks had also become extremely sensitive in the last month as they grew to feminine proportions. Brenda was swooning with the seduction and try as she may she couldn't stop what she was doing, Dirk had seduced her. "Please Dirk, please don't," was all she could say as the kisses continued. Dirk removed his mouth from Brenda's and caressed her neck with his lips, making her moan. Brenda's breaths were becoming short and as Dirk found her nipple with his mouth she was succumbing to what ever he wanted to do. Brenda was in a state of bliss. She was a woman being seduced by a man and knew she had found her place in life, no more questions or doubts, she would become a woman. Brenda felt Dirks arousal against her leg and she felt fearful, not as a man being touched by another man but as a woman being touched by a man's hard penis for the first time. Brenda reached for it with her hand and touched it, feeling it pulse when she did. Dirks lips were firmly attached to her breast and waves of pleasure coursed through her body as he suckled her nipple. Brenda rubbed his penis with her hand and held it. It felt so hard through the gaff as she slid her hand along the length and it made her feel even more like a woman doing so. She heard Dirk moan when she touched it. Brenda felt Dirks hands find the top of her pantyhose and felt them sliding down her legs with urgency. She reached down and unbuckled the ankle strap on one shoe and felt the hose come off that foot. Brenda felt Dirk lift her into his arms and carry her into the bedroom and lay her on his bed. The assault on her nipples continued as Dirk caressed them with his tongue. "Please," she moaned, "Please," as she continued rubbing Dirk's gaff. Dirk wanted Brenda, she had driven him over the edge and all rational thinking had disappeared with the lust for each other, he as a man and she as a woman. "Wait, I'll be right back." "No please don't go," she begged and pulled him to her lips to kiss him once more. Dirk broke the kiss and said, "I won't be long." Dirk went to the bathroom and returned with a jar of Vaseline. "Dirk, we shouldn't do this, it's wrong, we work together, we," Brenda's words stopped as his mouth once again found her breasts. Brenda was breathing hard now, her eyes were glazed and she reached for Dirk's penis again. She found it and held it once again and when Dirk kissed her on the mouth again she knew she wanted him inside of her, she needed her passion to grow beyond her breasts. "Dirk, I want you inside of me," she whispered. Dirk felt Brenda pulling at his gaff and just by accident pinched his penis. Dirk jumped with the pain and felt it deflate slightly. "Brenda, STOP, what are we doing, my God I almost forgot you're my friend Matt, we can't do this, shit, I'm so sorry," Dirk said. He had just seduced his best friend and almost had sex with him, God he felt dirty. Brenda felt like her face had just been slapped. Her desires had gained control of right and wrong and she felt ashamed for what she had allowed to happen. "What we did was wrong," she said sheepishly, "But it was so wonderful. Thank you for being able to stop before something bad happened, because I couldn't." "How did you become such a girl Brenda, I would have never done what you were doing." "That's because your not a girl, you look like one but you're not one yet." "I'll never become one Brenda, I don't want to." "I didn't think I wanted to either, but look what happened to me," Brenda said. "You're different than me, you go all out and could care less about the what happens as a result, but I want to be a man after this is all over," Dirk said. "Maybe I am different, but don't be to sure that you won't want to change your mind. You might like being a girl more than you think and changing back won't be fun either." "I still don't think I could do this much longer," Dirk said. "It will have to be as long as it takes," Brenda said. "I still don't like it. When Tiffany takes over my personality I'm not Dirk anymore and I hate that. Tonight you helped me find Dirk again, I love you Brenda." "I love you too, but not as lovers, we just lost control. I really should go before anything else happens. I have lots to think about," Brenda said. "We both do," Tiffany replied.