Corrita . Part 3 free porn video

Corrita Part 3. I urge the reader to go back and read Parts 1 and 2 before starting Part 3. There is a lot of history contained in those pieces. Briefly Sam Haber is a financial whiz at a NYC investment firm. To relax he writes romance novels aimed at a Hispanic audience. To learn more about how women do things he started experimenting with dressing in women's clothes and calling himself Corrita del Barco. While dressed up he met Hannah Peterson and they felt an immediate attraction. The only problem was that Hannah is gay. The relationship has had rough spots but Sam declared an intention to become a woman and has asked Hannah to marry him. Chapter 1. Nothing Moves Quickly. I sat in Dr. Ki's waiting room and tried to amuse myself by looking at a sailing magazine. It was only five months old which I guess is up-to- date for a waiting room. Bored with the magazine I looked around and spied a small wire sculpture on a side table and thought about a piece of art that Hannah had given me. Then I thought about Hannah and our plans and felt overwhelmed. Five weeks earlier I asked Hannah to marry me and she said she would. The problem was that while I was male and she was female, Hannah was lesbian and not one to experiment with heterosexual sex. She had fallen in love with me when I was dressed in women's clothes and playing the role of my nom de plume Corrita del Barco. It hadn't been easy and I did a couple of stupid things. Somehow we worked it out, healed the wounds and now were two girlfriends, even lovers. We had dinners together and took long walks. We kissed deeply and hugged with her breasts rubbing against the a-cup forms I wore. We told each other our secrets and dreams. We even slept together but I kept my gaff and night gown on and other than a kiss or a cuddle nothing happened. When I proposed marriage I knew what I was getting into. Hannah Peterson would marry Samuel Haber and thus be legal in New York State. Then I would change my name to Corrita del Barco, start hormone treatments and begin living full-time as a woman. As soon as possible I would have sex change surgery and we would settle down as a loving couple. Of course nothing is that simple and five weeks after I proposed I still was dressed as a man, I hadn't spoken to my employer and the hormone therapy had not started. I glanced up when a woman called my name and dropping the magazine I followed her into the office. She asked me to wait in an exam room and left. I thought about Dr. Ki. My primary care doctor had recommended him as a good endocrinologist who worked with a number of transgender people. When I first met him I was put off by Dr. Ki's cold manner and clipped speech. As the appointment went on I realized I was in the hands of a caring and knowledgeable physician and relaxed. That first exam was intense and I have never been so prodded, pinched and stared at in my life. The fat on my rib cage, under my nipples, on my back and on my arms was pinched with a measuring device. My genitals were handled and scrutinized. My eyes and ears were peered into. An EKG was taken. Even the soles of my feet and the palms of my hands were looked at. A complete medical history was taken and when I could not answer some question, because my parents had died young, Dr. Ki asked me to call relatives for the answers. Of course I left a urine and blood sample. Dr. Ki came in and gave me a brief smile. Then he at down, opened up a laptop computer and waited silently until my records came up. He didn't offer to shake hands or call me by my name and I wondered if he was just very formal or possibly a bit shy. Finally the computer was ready and he flashed me his quick smile again. "Ah, Mr. Haber. I received your fax about your parent's health and your therapist's letter. I will say that Dr. Harper's approval of the hormone therapy is couched in hesitant terms. I also looked over my notes again to read your reasons for starting this therapy before living full time as a woman. I would like to ask you a few more questions." Dr. Ki took his time with me, double checking his notes from the prior visit and showing a lot of caution. I expected him to give me a prescription for some kind of estrogen pill and a pill to cut down on my testosterone production. He explained that because of the reasons I was doing things and because I was not yet living full time as a woman he was only going to prescribe the estrogen. "We'll start this way Mr. Haber because most of the effects are reversible and when you have been living full time as a woman for at least two months and I get further information from your psychologist we can discuss the use of progestogens and anti-androgens." I thought that I would be taking pills but I left with a sample pack containing six small Band-Aid like patches to be applied and replaced on the third and seventh day of a weekly cycle. The drug was Estradiol and before I left the office I was handed a list of side effects to watch for and a lecture on what the drug could and couldn't do. I also made an appointment for three weeks hence. To get to the appointment I left work at lunchtime and so was back at my apartment by 3:15. I checked my messages, dumped the mail on the table and quickly took my clothes off. I went into the bathroom and took out the patches. Reading the instructions carefully I washed and dried an area of my stomach to the side of my navel and above the belt line. Then I peeled off the liner and applied a patch to my skin. I felt dizzy but I knew it was because of the step I had taken not because of the hormones. Seven weeks earlier I had decided on a plan of action. Five weeks ago I proposed to Hannah. Finally I had done something concrete. I washed my face and rubbing my cheek decided to shave. I really only had to shave every other day but it was easier to cover the shadow if I shaved every day. My legs, arms and chest were still smooth so I skipped shaving and depilating them. After I was done I walked into my bedroom and opened the closet. Most of the space was taken up by jackets, suits, trousers and men's shirts. One quarter held Corrita's clothing. I knew I needed more. I needed a lot more. Before I decided to change gender I had no problem going out and spending a few hundred dollars on clothing, now I had to watch my budget. It was warm for late May and the windows were open so I closed the closet and pulled a pair of panties, some running shorts and a t-shirt with flowers on it from Corrita's dresser drawer. I got the cloth bag that held the breast forms and applied the double sided tape and held them against my chest. In a few minutes I would be dressed comfortably. I would put on some lipstick and a dusting of powder. Then braless and cool I could sit in my apartment and think over the past few weeks. The first thing I did when dressed was to call Hannah's home phone and leave a message. "Hi Hannah. It's Corrita. I just came back from Dr. Ki. Please call because I have some great news." As I sorted through the mail I thought about the money side of the plan. I was well paid by my employer Jerome and Field. I had been a financial analyst there for six years and recently was promoted to team leader with a raise and an office. However I also purchased a condo apartment three years earlier and between paying off the loan I had taken out and dealing with the monthly maintenance bill I didn't have an enormous amount of extra money. My romance novels brought me in a few thousand dollars a year and I had some personal investment income, but that didn't add a lot. I sat with a calculator and a cup of tea and played financial games until I kept arriving at the same answer. If I left Jerome and Field I would have nine vacation days and a floating holiday due me. After that I could live on my savings for almost four months. So I had four months and two weeks to find a job that paid adequately. What was adequate? It had to pay at least $49,000 more than the combined loan repayments, maintenance fees and taxes on the apartment. Then I would not have to touch my investments. I made a list of people in the New York area who had either tried to hire me or hinted that I might want to talk with them. I crossed off names and put question marks beside some and ended up with three solid possibilities. One of the possibilities I underlined twice. I would talk with Hannah and then sit down with Mr. Field, the co-owner of the firm and let him know what was going on. Maybe I could stay at the firm but he was on vacation until Monday and it would take a few days beyond that to get an appointment. I was itching to move but everything dragged. Unlike in the romance novels I wrote, I couldn't manipulate time or have things occur when I wanted them to. I asked Hannah for patience when I proposed to her. Now I needed to be patient as well. Chapter 2. It Means Looking After Each Other Hannah came over that evening. I changed from the running shorts to a pair of jeans but other than that stayed as I had been. Hannah was dressed for her work as an electrical engineer, nice but casual. We kissed at the door and then again in the living room. Hannah dropped her bag on a chair and we sat down to eat a pickup dinner and talk. After dinner we moved to the couch. Over the past months we found a comfortable position. I sat in the middle of the couch and Hannah sideways at one end with her legs draped over mine. We could hold hands, and see each other. We could lean over and kiss but there was a kind of separation that made us feel comfortable. I told Hannah about the visit with Dr. Ki and pulled up my t-shirt so she could see the patch. I explained what Estradiol could do, a bit of increased breast size, change in body but not facial hair, emotional changes, softening of the skin, etc. I explained what it couldn't do such as change my voice. Then I told her of the possible side effects. When I was done she sighed. "Christ Corrita, you are taking some chances aren't you." "I knew about them when I started. You are worth it love." We held hands and then I pulled her closer and we kissed and hugged. I knew she liked my hand on her breast and kept it there. She slid her hand under my shirt and ran it up and down my back. It was nice to be held, to be warm, to be loved. Finally we separated and I asked if we could talk about plans and pulled out a calendar. Hannah smiled and then sat very erect with her knees pressed together and put on a serious face. We laughed at our pseudo business poses and got down to discussing dates. "Corrita, I know we have to have a quiet civil wedding but I want a real wedding with a minister too. I want to invite friends and have a party." "OK is that for Hannah and Sam or Hannah and Corrita?" "Oh what do you think? I know a minister who is really pro-gay rights and he has done religious ceremonies for same sex couples. They are not legally marriages but we'll already have our civil marriage in place." We talked further about things to do and people to talk to. I had called my closest male friend Mike and we met for coffee and talked. He'd given me the cold shoulder since then and I concluded that our friendship was over. I talked with my neighbors across the hall and got the opposite reaction and we kept trying to find a mutually open evening so that we could have drinks and get to know each other. Finally I broached a subject that Hannah had been ducking ever since we became a pair. "Hannah, you said we'd invite friends to the wedding or at least the important one, not the civil ceremony. What about relatives? I'll invite my Aunt Clara. You never speak about your family." I could feel the chill that emanated from Hannah. Her lips drew to a thin line and she was about to tell me to drop it. "No Hannah. Not this time. If we are lovers and are going to be married we can't hide things. I need to know." Hannah got up and started walking back and forth. She stood with her back against my desk and faced me, pale and tense. Twice she started to speak and faltered. Finally clenching her fist she began to talk. "Four years ago I came out to my family; all good Christians, good Scandinavian Lutherans. You know, forgiveness and light and good will among men. Since then the only thing I hear when I call is them telling me not to call again unless I have recognized the depths I have fallen to and reconsidered my choice. Then they hang up. I used to send Christmas cards but I stopped when they came back along with pamphlets about the evils of homosexuality and once an article about a psychiatrist who claims he can cure it." I knew enough to say nothing. I just looked at her and waited. "I mean fuck it. My uncle is a drunk who beats his kids. My sister can't keep a job for more than three or four months. My parents live in a goddamn shack but I'm the one who can't come to Thanksgiving dinner." I recognized the time had come and went over and hugged her. Hannah never really cried. She shook and some tears fell but the sobs and full release were choked off. I said nothing but did what I could to send her warmth and support. We stood there locked together while I thought of the many ways I was lucky. After a while we calmed down and made a few more notes in my calendar. Then we leaned against each other and talked about nothing in particular. I think that was my favorite part of our evenings together. I was as usual in some distress because of Hannah's closeness but there was nothing I could do. Hannah asked if she could stay over and I said yes. It was a formality we had. If she brought her canvas bag it meant she had a change of clothes. We always pretended that she needed to ask and I always said yes. I hadn't stayed over at her place yet because it would be awkward for me to change from Corrita to Sam on work mornings but we planned a weekend together in the near future. It was an odd arrangement. We never saw each other without something on below the waist even if it was just a pair of lacy panties. We slept in nightgowns or pajamas. Hannah never saw me with just my forms on. Either I had on a brassiere or a shirt, or I wasn't wearing the forms. We kissed and fondled but only with our clothes on. Neither of us was satisfied but neither of us would break our unsaid contract. Hannah had given me a pair of light cotton pajamas. They were short sleeved and white with little hearts on them. That night I wore a white gaff under them. When I was done washing and changing I handed the bathroom rights to her. She came out wearing a t-shirt that reached the middle of her thighs. When she bent over I could see a pair of light blue panties peeking out. My heart was racing but I tried to show nothing. I set my alarm and we lay down beside each other. I turned my head and kissed Hannah on the cheek. "Good night love." Hannah rolled on her side and laid her head on my chest. "You are so good to me Corrita." I didn't know what to say so I kissed the top of her head. Then when she raised her head I kissed her forehead and her lips and we lay side to side holding on to each other as fiercely as any drowning man clutched the random plank that floated his way. As our clench loosened I placed a hand on her breast. She moaned and moved closer to me. My mind was swirling, part of me wanted release while knowing I couldn't achieve it and the other part wanted to hear Hannah moan and sigh and to give her the release she desired. Hannah ended my irresolution my grabbing my hand and shoving it under her nightshirt. For the first time I had laid a hand on her bare breast and felt the hard nipple beneath my palm. I kissed her as my hand wandered back and forth. Occasionally I would pinch a nipple slightly listening to her gasp. I lifted her nightshirt and easing down kissed her right breast and then her left and Hannah tore her shirt off, grabbed my head and held me close while moaning "Corrita" again and again. "Hannah, please trust me." I eased down until I slipped off the end of the bed and pulled her to me with her legs draped over my shoulders. A previous girlfriend had loved this. I gently kissed the inside of her thighs and occasionally rubbed my nose in the middle of her panties. I smelled her musky and exciting odor. My hands gripped her hips and occasionally she would shudder and her thighs would squeeze my ears. She hadn't objected to what I had done so I shifted my head and slowly pulled down her panties waiting for her to say stop. When her panties lay on the floor I pushed my face in and gave a gentle lick to her clitoris. Hannah almost screamed and sat bolt upright. I started to pull away but she grabbed my head and held me in there as I licked and nipped and drove her to an orgasm. Later we lay side by side. She was tucked into me occasionally kissing or rubbing a nipple. She had put on her shirt but the panties lay where we left them. She moved her head and kissed me on the ear. "You know Corrita I have been dreaming of you between my legs for a long time." I just lay there. My penis, trapped in its spandex cage, strained and ached. "I can't wait to run my hands between your legs. To lie in bed with you with no clothes on, I mean you wearing no clothes. I will kiss you and bite you and drive you insane and then you will come in my arms." To my shock Hannah's leg slipped between mine and rocked back and forth against the smooth front of the gaff. "You are so nice smooth down there, and I will lie on top of you and grind into you..." I did not know that it was possible to have an orgasm when your penis is trapped and unable to become erect. Hannah rolled on top of me and I lost control and bucked and gasped and came as hard as I ever had. When I recovered I opened my eyes to look up at Hannah. She kissed me on the forehead. "Wow. Feel better little one?" I nodded. Hannah straddled me and kneaded my chest feeling the extra fat where my breasts would be. "I don't care how small your tits will be. I don't care if they don't get any larger. All I want is my Corrita." She eased forward and once again I buried my face between her legs and she rocked and cried and laughed and came again. In the morning we woke up entangled. I went to the bathroom with a pair of clean panties and stripped off the mess that was my gaff. I washed down, put on the panties and went out to the kitchen to get the coffee going. I heard Hannah in the bathroom and smiled as I thought about the previous night. When she came out we hugged. "I'm so glad you could let me please you Hannah." "Please me? You drove me out of my little mind." She smiled and looked up at the ceiling. "You know lover, we may have some issues but we do take care of each other." I had to agree. Chapter 3: Hesitations Suddenly things sped up and I went from fretting about how slow progress was to worrying about the accelerated pace of life. Mr. Field's secretary made an appointment for me on the Tuesday after his return from vacation. The Feingolds, my neighbors across the hall, and I agreed to have drinks at their apartment on Sunday and Miner House, my publishers, sent back a final draft of "Sunsets in Juarez" asking for me to look it over one last time before it went to print. At work I spent extra time making sure that all my projects and paperwork were in order. I didn't think I would be asked to leave immediately but who knew. Mr. Field might order me out on the spot. Hannah and I decided Corrita would spend the weekend at her apartment and we would come back together on Sunday evening for drinks with the Feingolds. We had a dinner together and saw a movie but mostly talked on the phone. I spent hours in the evenings rereading Sunset in Juarez looking for typos and other errors. The Minor House editors were pretty good so I didn't have many corrections to make. When I finished late Thursday night I stepped back and looked at the cover art. A man and a woman were embraced on a balcony. The background was a city in soft focus. I looked at the couple. Neither of them looked the way I had pictured them when I wrote the book but they didn't actually vary from the descriptions. I wrapped the book and made a note to hit the post office at lunch and send it back. After work the next day I faced the prospect of packing for the weekend. I felt unprepared for spending two nights and two days with Hannah. I thought of the various things we might do and then laid out some clothes. "OK, I will take the white and the pink gaff, two pairs of panties, the light colored lacy bra and the black and white mastectomy bras, pantyhose and some knee highs." I looked at the clothing a moment or two and threw my black gaff on the bed. I decided to dress in my women's jeans even though they were really too large for me now. One of my men's polo shirts would do along with sneakers and white sox. Aha, I threw in an extra pair of white sox and a long sleeve polo. I carefully folded and packed my flowing black pants, a silk shirt and an open work vest. I added the peasant shirt and denim wrap skirt. Then I looked at my closet and put in the short nightgown. After that it was just a matter of getting dressed and putting on my makeup. Then the makeup and toiletries went in the bag and feeling as though I was prepared for a week away I was ready to leave. As I put on my sneakers I realized I had forgotten to pack shoes and tossed in my sandals and the black two inch heels. Walking down to Hannah's place on 12th Street I enjoyed the cool air and return of evening light. I think the period from the middle of April to the middle of June is my favorite time of year. I had on a windbreaker and my black sweater but that was all I needed. I would have to buy a nice raincoat with a liner. Sam's trench coat was far to masculine. Occasionally someone would give me a second or even a third glance. I knew that even though I was persuasive as Corrita, at first glance people could be confused as to whether they were looking at a small feminine man or a masculine looking woman. My friend Lou had told me to emphasize the masculine side of Corrita. Then if people had to think about it they would decide that I was deliberately going for the butch look. At 14th street two women walked toward me arm in arm. They gave me a long look and a smile. I smiled back and laughed at the circumstances. Two women, arm and arm, maybe gay, smiling at me because they were thinking maybe I was gay. Then again maybe they were just smiling. One of them was dressed in jeans, a t-shirt, a multi pocketed dark green canvas vest and motorcycle boots. If Corrita was butch then that was an outfit she had to have. I would ask Hannah what she thought. Hannah buzzed me in and I pulled the rolling bag up the three flights of stairs to her apartment. I had to smile thinking how a year ago I would have been panting at the top. Now I was about 14 pounds lighter. I was walking more and even exercising four or five days a week in my apartment. I rolled the bag to her door and before I could ring the bell it opened and Hannah leaned forward and kissed me. Dinner was a big salad, some cheese and bread. We ate almost silently, occasionally mentioning something from our day or asking a question. Hannah buttered some bread and looked up at me. "Corrita, what's wrong? You're not yourself at all." "Myself" I laughed. "Well that could be a subject of a whole ?nother conversation. No, it's just that on Tuesday I meet with Mr. Field and tell him that I am transgender and will be living full-time as a woman. I doubt anything horrible will happen though he probably will ask me to resign but I keep having these fantasies of being ordered to leave immediately or him shouting my secret up and down the halls." "But he won't do that." "No." We cleaned up after dinner and while Hannah searched for a video she had rented I looked around her place. She had much less space than I had. Her walls were hung with art work and on the surfaces were vases or the electronic toys that she made in her spare time. My condo still looked sterile, even though I had started hanging framed posters and buying things to put around. "OK ready?" said Hannah. We sat on the rug with our backs against the couch and cuddled as we watched The Bridges of Madison County. Hannah loved the film. I thought it was OK. Occasionally we put it on pause to go to the bathroom or get a drink. When it was done we were leaning against each other feeling mellow. "Hey, while walking here I saw a woman dressed in an outfit I thought might do well for me. She had on blue jeans, a white t-shirt, and canvas vest with lots of pockets and heavy black boots. You know the look don't you?" Hannah chuckled. "You're butch my love but not the motorcycle type. You said you needed more clothes and had to watch your wallet. Well I've lived on a budget all my life and know how to buy clothes so why don't we go shopping tomorrow. We'll get you some nice stuff for interviews or work and something tough to satisfy your soul." We stood up and got ready for bed. As before I changed in the bathroom and washed up. I came out wearing panties and a nightgown that almost reached my knees. It was too large for me but comfortable. When I came out my jaw dropped. Hannah was putting clothing away in the bedroom but she was nude. I just stood and stared. It had been our habit not to walk around without wearing something below the waist and we were usually more modest than that. I looked at Hannah. She was lean without being skinny. Her skin was clear and light in color. She turned to look at me and I gazed at her small firm breasts and her nipples. I looked down. A few nights before my face had been between her legs but the lights were off. Now I could see the light blond hair on her mound. "Do you like what you see?" I just nodded. "I figured after Tuesday night there wasn't anything you hadn't seen or touched." She came over and hugged me. "We can take it slow. I trust you Corrita." Hannah went into the bathroom and as I hung up some garments in her closet I could hear the water running. It occurred to me that she hadn't closed the door. Embarrassed to be eavesdropping I listened to her urinating and then flushing. As I tried to sort out my feelings I heard her wash, and brush her teeth. I had grown up with an older aunt and we were very careful about each other's privacy. There were some things I would have to adjust to. Hannah slipped on some pajamas and we lay in bed. Her hand stroked my thigh but I didn't feel as if I could move or respond. "Honey what's wrong." "I think I'm scared. After Tuesday, well the emotions were so high, and I'm afraid I'll lose control. I don't want to hurt you." "You wouldn't." "But how can I know." Hannah sat up and turned the light on. "You can know because I trust you. I know Corrita and I've met Sam. I hate doing this but I'm talking to Sam now. Sam you are a good, gentle, honest and brave person. You could have run away or played me along but you took a chance and told me who you were. Then when we broke up and it was ugly, you took a chance and wrote me a letter saying that we needed to meet and heal some wounds." "Sam I am a good judge of character. I grew up with some real losers and selfish pricks. I have no doubts, none what so ever, that I can lie in bed with you and touch you and be touched by you, and we can drive each other crazy and you will never hurt me." I looked at her and sat up as well. I reached over and Hannah took my hand and squeezed it. We sat quietly occasionally turning to give the other person a brief kiss on the cheek. "It's something else isn't it? Corrita remember you said we could not keep secrets." I said nothing for a moment. "It's not a secret. Something happened at work yesterday. I went into the men's room and when I finished washing I looked at the mirror to adjust my tie. I looked at myself and said "Damn I wish I were dressed in my own clothes." "Your clothes?" "Uh huh. Hannah I am committed to what I am doing. I won't back down but sometimes I get scared. I get very scared. Up until know I was Sam being Corrita. There were my clothes and Corrita's clothing. Suddenly I think it's reversed. I'm Corrita playing at being a man. That's scary." "It's wonderful my love." "Yes but it is very scary." Hannah pulled me to her so my head lay against her breasts. She rocked back and forth. Every so often she'd stroke my hair or the back of my neck. "Corrita, let's just sleep tonight." "Yeah I think so." "Goodnight love." "Night love." Hannah turned the light off and we slept. Chapter 4: Corrita in Tow I woke that morning to find that I had rolled towards Hannah and my face was against her stomach. She was stroking my hair and as I looked up she smiled. "Sleep well, love?" "Uh huh." "I couldn't face waking you, you looked so content. I'm glad you're up though, I have to pee." Hannah climbed out of bed and like the night before left the door open as she used the toilet. I sat with my back against the wall feeling as happy as I have ever been. Yes I would talk with Mr. Field on Tuesday and might lose my job but right now I was in paradise. When she was done I went in and sat down. The seat was still warm from her use and I sat there and relaxed. I wiped, washed my hands, rinsed my mouth and went out to start the day. Hannah was making coffee and when she turned around I hugged her and gave her a kiss. I still felt odd having to look up to kiss someone but Hannah was almost six inches taller than I. We hugged and rocked back and forth and I felt my erection growing so I broke the clinch and helped put out cereal, juice, bowls and other breakfast items. We discussed the day and decided to mix shopping with some galleries Hannah wanted to see. I started to map out the route to make it the most efficient but Hannah laughed at me and told me to leave work at the office. It promised to be a warm day so I laid out the denim skirt and the peasant blouse. "These are just too large for me. I feel sorry that I'll stop wearing them. They were like an entry to a different world." I waited until Hannah had left the room for a moment and slipped my panties off and pulled on the white gaff. When I had tucked myself in I pulled off my nightie. I put my forms into the mastectomy brassiere and got into that and continued dressing. I had pulled the blouse over my head but did not have the skirt on when Hannah came back in. As I wrapped the skirt around me I watched as she undressed. When she was naked she stretched for a moment and I gazed at the angular form in front of me. I could not resist the urge so I came up behind her, wrapped my arms around her with my hands on her breasts and kissed the back of her neck. "Christ your hands are freezing." I started to pull away my Hannah put her hands over mine and pressed into me. She moved her hips back and forth and then turned around and holding my head kissed me repeatedly on the forehead, the lips, the eyes and my mouth. It took us a while to get going but finally, despite repeated breaks to kiss, we left the apartment and hand in hand walked the streets of the East Village. Hannah occasionally pulled me into a store and we looked at bargain clothing. I pulled her into a used bookstore and picked up two romances I hadn't read. By the time we stopped for lunch I had tried on a lot of clothing and now had a pair of jeans that fit me, as well as a pair of khakis that would be good for casual wear. I purchased a pair of grey slacks that were a new experience because they had no pockets and they zipped in the back. They would be good in a work environment with a blazer. I also purchased two plain blouses that would go well with the slacks. I bought a dress I would not have looked at but Hannah assured me it was perfect. I could not wear a brassiere with it because the back was cut low, but the front was high enough to cover the forms. It was black with a chain belt and wide shoulder straps that ran down the side until they met about half way between my waist and neck. Over lunch we discussed clothes and Hannah told me to order my panties from Lands End and said she show me some catalogs when we got back to her apartment. After lunch we wandered down to Soho and went into a couple of galleries. Maybe I'm blind to art but where Hannah saw emotion and action I saw streaks of paint. There was one piece I liked but I was watching my dollars and $1,200 for a painting was not in the budget. While randomly wandering we passed a women's clothing store and in the window was a simple grey suit. When I started dressing as Corrita I had dreams where I was in a man's grey suit but with red nail polish on, or in a brassiere. This suit was the women's equivalent. I pulled Hannah in and we gazed at the label. "Wow that's expensive." "I know and I don't want to spend the money, but this is what I am looking for. Oh hell, let's risk it." Hannah persuaded me we could find this suit or one almost the same at a lower price at a number of stores in the city and we wandered out. Back at the apartment we sat down with some juice and a stack of catalogs. I had post-it notes in my bag and we went through the catalogs picking out outfits and accessories. We looked at the prices as much as the styles but in the end between what I already owned, the day's shopping and what I would order, I would have three outfits I could wear to any office. I leaned back and stretched and Hannah straddled my legs and sat down. "I'm taking you out to dinner Corrita. Do you feel adventuress?" "I guess so." "Good lets go and wow the world." We took turns showering and as Hannah showered I changed into the black gaff and pulled on my pantyhose. I was applying the tapes to the forms when Hannah came out. I stood there feeling very awkward. It seemed alright for Hannah to see me without the forms but when I had them on I preferred to be covered. The forms were a symbol of the charade I was playing. Now I stood with them in my hands. Hannah walked by me oblivious to what I was doing so I tried to slow my breathing while I pressed the forms against me and put on my brassiere. "Oh no honey. You have got to wear that new dress we bought. I've been fantasizing about it all afternoon." I took the dress out and then went into the bathroom and took off the brassiere. Then I pulled the dress over my head. I was tangled for a moment in the built in slip and bra-like support but got it settled and looked at myself in the vanity mirror. "Come on out and let me see you." I stepped into the bedroom and pretending to be a model turned around, ending by facing her with one hipped cocked and my hand resting on it. I lifted my chin and smiled. "Today's young woman needs something for the evenings. This outfit by Giorgio, Francoise and Finkelstein, renowned designers and pickle merchants, draws its inspiration from the automotive industry..." "You are a goof." "Yeah and a nervous one. This outfit screams "look at me." Hannah adjusted the dress a little then while she dressed I did my makeup and hair. I wore the thin gold chain necklace that Kate had given me when she and Lou took me out for the first time as Corrita. "Hannah?" "Yes love." "This necklace, I wore it for the first time when we met at the Charley Dog. I haven't been back there since that night. Let's go again." Hannah smiled and nodded her agreement. I put on my black heels and we looked at each other. I was dressed in a classy black dress. Hannah was wearing tight black slacks and a silver top that hugged her tightly. I saw she wasn't wearing a brassiere. She had on low heels and towered over me. "You really need to pierce your ears and get a better hand bag." Hannah grabbed her jacket, threw me my sweater and taking me by the hand pulled me into the hall. "Let's hit the town." Chapter 5: Noticing and Being Noticed. Hannah declared we were going to the west side to a great and noisy place call Marreta's on Hudson Street. We laughed and bumped into each other, held hands and generally had a good time as we walked. Something was different tonight and I worked hard to figure it out. It was only after we had been walking about ten minutes that it clicked. People were no longer ignoring me. Normally when I was outside I blended into the city crowds. Now a lot of people were giving me second looks. "Hannah we're in trouble." "What's up?" "People are looking at me. They are no longer ignoring me. This is going to be bad." "Nonsense. Corrita you are very, very persuasive. They are looking at us because we are a pair of sexy girls dressed to kill and out on the town." I was uncertain but Hannah linked her arm through mine and we kept walking until we reached the bar. I had been in the friendly environs of the Charley Dog and the wall to wall scene at Rubyfruit but this was different. Marreta's was no noisier than Rubyfruit but Rubyfruit was laid back compared to this place. A DJ was blasting music. Women were dancing. Loud voices and laughter tried to outdo the music and the air reeked of sexuality. Hannah and I linked arms and fought our way to the bar. We managed to grab a small space by the corner and pressed tightly against each other waited for the server to notice us and take our orders. Sipping our drinks we looked around. Hannah spotted a more open space and we made are way through the bodies, balancing our drinks as we went. Occasionally Hannah would shout a hello to someone or get a kiss on the cheek. She would shout something back and the women would smile in my direction. Against the wall we had some breathing room and I leaned over and commented about the crush. "Oh it's often like this. It's a hot zone." "Yeah I can almost smell it." Hannah laughed and kept looking around and waving at people. We parked our drinks and danced a bit. Most of the dances were fast and free but one was slow and with Hannah taking the lead we turned in small circles. Her hands pressed against my bare back and I could feel her breasts against me. I leaned against her, smelling her scent above the m?lange of odors in the bar. Part way through Hannah dropped both of her hands to my backside, pulled me against her and leaning on each other we finished the dance. Somehow we attracted attention, ordered some food and tucked ourselves into a tiny space at a table. I was onto my second glass of wine and feeling happy. We mostly stared at the crowd and occasionally shouted at each other. While looking around I noticed a couple coming towards us. In the front was an unattractive, gangly woman. Following her was a classily dressed blond who would have blended into the conservative world I normally lived in. Hannah looked up. "Hi Nancy, Hi Kim." She waved at them to find seats and drag them over. We all huddled together around the table and made introductions. I didn't say much and after a couple of glances in my direction the two women talked with Hannah. I sat back and watched. I tried to understand why Kim, intelligent, funny and very attractive would be with Nancy. Nancy had a stick thin body with arms that seemed poorly coordinated. She did not add anything intelligent to the conversation and had a weird laugh. Then I stopped and thought about Hannah and me. Hannah was tall, slender, pretty and self confident. Corrita was short, a little overweight, not pretty and something of a wallflower. I laughed and remembered the clich? that opposites attract. Hannah looked up at me when I laughed but I just shook my head and kept my thoughts to myself. We danced some more and I met more of Hannah's friends. Then we gathered our belongings and drifted out the door. Walking back I held Hannah's hand. "Hannah I think you've been protecting me. I mean we meet your friends in passing but we never have them over or visit them." "I could say the same about you." "True. Yes. But tomorrow we're going to have drinks with the Feingolds and there is this guy, Phil, in accounting that I've become friendly with. After I talk with Mr. Field I'll talk with Phil and if he doesn't run we'll have him and his wife over for dinner." We walked for a while before Hannah said anything. "You are right. I think it's because you are my secret and I'm reluctant to share you. I'll call my friend Sarah and she'll drag what ever guy she's with along and we'll do something." "You know Corrita I've figured something out." "What." "When you are dressed even the slightest bit butch no one give you a second glance unless you're their type of woman. Tonight and a couple of other times you've been dressed in more feminine clothes and everybody takes a second look. I don't know if they are questioning whether you are he or she or if they just think you're interesting and attractive. That's what's been going on." "Yeah I know that. I figured that out a while back. Corrita is supposed to be butch but I find I like the more feminine clothes. I mean, I don't like frilly or girly but I like this dress or the knit dress I have." We climbed the stairs to her apartment and I collapsed in the arm chair. I sensed that something was in the air. It was as though Hannah was discontented or on edge. We made small talk about the evening and then she went to the bathroom. As usual she left the door open and I heard her curse. "Oh damn." "What's wrong?" "Oh it's my period. It's a couple of days early and I was hoping we could have some more fun tonight. Oh well we'll have to be content with snuggling." We sat and talked for a while and our conversation turned to personal and intimate things. I talked about what heterosexual sex was like. Hannah told me some of things she really liked in bed. I described my dream girl and Hannah did the same. Then we laughed because neither of us matched the other's description. It was very late when we finally crawled into bed. We kissed a little and then with Hannah pressing in behind me we nestled like two spoons and drifted off to sleep. Chapter 6. Encounters Hannah shook me out of bed early that Sunday and getting on the phone called Sarah and made plans to meet for breakfast. I went into the bathroom, took a quick shower to wake up and brushed my teeth. While Hannah sat on the toilet and talked to me through the open door I slipped the forms into a mastectomy bra and pulled on a pair of panties and tucked myself in. By the time Hannah came back into the bedroom I had put on my polo shirt and was taking the labels of the jeans we bought. I watched Hannah as she walked around and her naked body looked beautiful in the soft light filtering through the blinds. She was not self-conscious at all and talked while she dressed. We finished at about the same time and I went to put on some makeup and do my hair while Hannah got on the computer to check her e-mails. "Hey Corrita." "Umm?" You were saying that you haven't met my friends. Well remember I told you about my college roommate? She and her husband are going to be in town next week and want to treat us to dinner. He's a computer geek who made it good and is rolling." We talked about that for a while and Hannah told me more about her roommate Pat. We left the apartment in a sunny mood and walked to the diner where we were meeting Sarah for breakfast. In my jeans, sneakers, polo shirt and sweater I was not dressed particularly feminine and once again people's eyes passed over me with no second glances. When we got to the diner Hannah spotted Sarah and some guy. We went over and sat down. Introductions were made and while I liked Sarah from the start I instantly disliked her current boyfriend Dave. Every thing discussed had to have a snide comment made by Dave. He cultivated cynicism and seemed proud to show off how little he cared for society or traditions. I wondered how much I had been like that before I started acting as Corrita and then becoming Corrita. Sarah worked at Barnes and Noble and Dave at St. Luke's Hospital. I found out he worked in Medical Records Department. I guess they found a quiet place in the files for him to work and gripe. I couldn't imagine him working with patients. We spent a long time over breakfast. My skills in deflecting questions came in handy. When we left I felt that Sarah would become a friend and I hoped that she would dump Dave. Back at the apartment I sat at the table and took out my little notebook. "You know Hannah, I wasn't very smart." "What's up love?" "Well we've been introducing me to everybody as Corrita del Barco and Miner House Publishers is saying that Corrita del Barco is a pen name. The story is that Corrita took the name because she was worried about her job and her family. I think we have to find me a different last name and hope not too many people comment on the change." Hannah leaned against the table and thought for a bit. "Nope. This might be better. I mean if someone asks if you are the author of those hot romances you can laugh and say "No" but that you do get asked a lot and someday you have to read one of them. I think that the coincidence will be funny but believable." I hesitantly agreed and acknowledged that changing my name now would set off any number of alarm bells. Then Hannah laughed in an embarrassed kind of way." "But you are right, we really have forgotten something. It occurred to me over breakfast. Its, well..." She stopped and looked a little flustered. "You should go and bank some sperm shouldn't you. I mean we may want children at some point." I just stared at her. "You mean you'd..." "Yes, I think I'd like some children at some point and I'd want them to be yours." I stood up and hugged her. "Of course. I'll take care of it soon." I was shaken. It didn't occur to me that when I proposed to Hannah that I was embarking on a family life. I liked children but the thought of the responsibility of being a father, no make that a mother, to them was scary. I made light of the situation but Hannah caught on and in later conversations we discussed the matter again and I did preserve some samples. The rest of Sunday was spent relaxing. I read the Times and Hannah read a book or worked on one of the electronic toys she built for fun. At one point I put down the magazine section and looked at her. Her back was to me and she was sketching a diagram in a notebook. The light from the window made her hair almost silver. She was wearing a t-shirt and I could see the thin strap of her brassiere through the fabric. Though she was writing with a pencil another was stuck behind her ear. I was struck by a wave of affection and also a feeling of contentment. It seemed a shame to comment on the time and say that we had to get moving if we were to get back to my place for drinks with the Feingold's. Hannah stretched and while I laid out nicer clothes and packed the rest she changed into a pair of light blue slacks and a yellow polo shirt. I stripped down to just my panties and brassiere. I pulled on transparent black knee-high hose and then put on the silk blouse. I had become proficient at buttoning blouses from the opposite side. Then I pulled on the flowing black slacks and the vest and turned to look in the mirror. Corrita looked back at me. She smiled as I put on the gold necklace. I realized that maybe I wasn't unattractive. Maybe there was something for people to look at. I turned sideways and looked again. "Admiring yourself?" "No just thinking that maybe I'm not unattractive." "You just need more trust in yourself." We finished up and stopped for a long kiss before heading out the door. As we walked back to my apartment I asked myself why I had changed at Hannah's. We should have left fifteen minutes earlier and changed at my place. I could have made the walk in sneakers, not in heels. Then and there I decided that high heels were an instrument of torture and when possible I would wear either flats or low heels. We dropped my bag and our coats off at my apartment and it was time to have drinks with the Feingolds. I was quite fearful because even though I had met them any number of times in the hallway this was the first time that Corrita would be sitting down with people who both knew her status and were outside of my intimate circle. I looked in the hall mirror. I was dressed more formally than Hannah and I asked if maybe I should tone down a bit, but she assured me we were fine. I fussed with my hair a bit. Hannah said it looked great. I asked if the earrings were OK. Finally Hannah pulled me across the hall and rang the Feingold's bell. Janet Feingold opened the door and gave us a hesitant smile. Then she recovered and asked us to come in. Jack waved from the kitchen where he was struggling with a wine bottle. I could hear in the background the noise of their three year old and Janet told us that they had brought in a babysitter for a few hours. The three of us stood in the entry way and made the little comments that I have learned are expected of women. I complimented Janet on her necklace. She told me how much she liked the blouse and vest combination and asked where I bought it. Hannah and Janet talked some more about the necklace and then we made our way into the living room. The conversation faltered and stuttered a few times until Jack broke down. "Oh this is a fool's game. Sa.. I mean Corrita let me ask a question. Are you going to be living as a woman all the time? I mean what are your plans?" Janet started to protest but Hannah and I laughed. I gave the Feingold's a big smile. "I was wondering how we were going to get around to that. OK, here it is." I asked the Feingolds to please keep our secrets and then laid out the basic outline of our plans. Janet thought the idea hilarious and Jack was intrigued. It was when we mentioned that we were going to have a private religious ceremony which would be the real wedding that we attracted their attention. Janet was off like a shot and I heard in her voice the desire to plan a wedding. Hannah and I finally managed to get her to put on the brakes and explained we were talking a very small affair but that we would, of course, appreciate her input. After that the conversation flowed and we talked more about jobs and hobbies and the Feingold's son than about me. Before we knew it, it was almost 7:00 and Hannah and I made our goodbyes and left knowing we had made some friends. Back at my apartment we talked for a few minutes. Then Hannah headed out to finish some chores at her place and sleep alone. We lingered a little while at the door, took one last kiss and waved goodbye. I sat back and thought about the weekend. There had been enough snacks at the Feingolds that I didn't feel like eating. Hannah and I had spent two days in close quarters. We were good together. Every day made me feel more confident in my decisions. On Tuesday I would take the next big step and tell Mr. Field what was going on but that was Tuesday. I leaned over to the phone to call my Aunt Clara in Buffalo. I was keeping her well informed about me as well as keeping in touch in case she needed some one to talk to. It was only when I visited her over the winter that I realized how lonely a life she led. I resolved to have her come down for a visit some day soon. Chapter 7: Steps Monday at the office passed easily. I was wondering what I would say to Mr. Field if we passed in the hall and he asked what the meeting was about but I never saw him. Phil and I had lunch together and I left about 6:00. Arriving home I listened to my messages. Helen called to tell me that Sunsets in Juarez had been sent to reviewers and outlets and should be on the shelves within the week. I sorted the mail leaving the bills out to be paid and glancing quickly at Newsweek to see if there was anything of immediate interest. Then I went to change out of my suit. I hung up my suit and looked at my closet. Though Corrita's clothing was taking over, Sam's clothes still took up the majority of the space. I tried to think what I would do with the suits and slacks and blazers. I would keep one suit and one blazer and pants combination for things such as the civil wedding but other than that I intended to truly live full time as a woman. As I glanced over the hangers I noticed a blouse I bought at Yesterday's Garden and remembered that as well as selling used clothes they bought them. Hannah and I would haul my clothes down there some weekend and see what we could get for them. I spent the evening in the bottom half of a running suit and a t-shirt. I ate a light supper, paid bills, read the Newsweek and continued editing the third of the romances I would send to Miner House. Later, in the shower, I mused about tomorrow. Some of the things I did such as going out dressed as a woman I could just toss aside. Other things were permanent. I had proposed to Hannah. I would not change that. Tomorrow I would tell Mr. Fields I was transgender and planning to live full time as a woman. Once I said that I could not step back. Oddly, the nervousness I felt earlier was leaving and a calm settled over me. I was ready for what ever happened. I dressed for the office no differently than normal and conducted business as if this was a day like any other. Then at 3:15 I walked across the floor and smiled at Mary, Mr. Field's secretary. She nodded, buzzed Mr. Field and signaled me to go in. I went in and closed the door. Mr. Field nodded at a chair and I sat down. "Afternoon Sam, please don't tell me you are going to leave us." "I hope not Mr. Field. A lot depends on what you say." "Oh God; you're not in trouble are you? We don't need the SEC on top of everything else." "Oh no. Rest assured everything I am here to talk about does not involve work I have done. No insider trading. Nothing like that." Mr. Field relaxed and I took a breath. "You see Mr. Field, I am transgender. Shortly I am going to begin the real life test, which means I will be living full time as a woman. I like this company and the people in it and I'd love to continue working here. At the same time I don't want to cause problems. If you think I should leave I'm willing to give appropriate notice and put off my next step until after I'm gone." Mr. Field just sat and looked at me for a few moments. Occasionally he would shake his head. Finally he found his voice and we talked for while. He asked many questions including where I would look for a job. After a while we just sat silently. "Sam, you cannot appreciate how much I value the way you are handling this. I don't know how we will deal with this. We are not so large a company that you could be lost in the swarm of thousands of employees nor are we so small that we could react like a family and treat you like the odd relative." I thought about Hannah's family and how they reacted to her coming out. "If you do leave I will personally write you the best recommendations you have ever seen and I will call people for you. In the meantime I want to talk to Mr. Jerome and also Frank down in Personnel. They will be careful with this information. Oh, and don't worry, you won't be asked to pack up and leave on a moment's notice." We stood up and shook hands and I thanked him for his support. Leaving his office I went back to mine and shut the door. We had been together for almost an hour. I had heard his words and tone but also heard the underlying message. My time at Jerome and Fields had come to an end. We would arrange a suitable going away party and I could be hush hush about what I was planning to do. In the world of finance that happened often enough that people would be only a little curious. It was time to open my list of contacts and start making calls. After I made sure I was calm I opened my door and got back to work. People would drift in and out and I was able to look as if everything was normal. I was choked up though. I wasn't afraid of the future. I knew I'd be able to find some kind of job. I didn't want to leave this place. I entered college at seventeen and ended up in a five year program that awarded a B.A. and an M.B.A. From college I went straight to Jerome and Field and I liked the company. In the past year I shed my prickly nature and started to like the people I worked with. It was going to be hard to make the break. A bit before 5:00 I shut my door and picked up my cell phone and dialed the number of John Lange. John ran a boutique money management firm that catered to athletes, actors and others who needed help in handling their finances. Lange Financial, Inc. not only guided its clients in matters of investing and long range planning but taught them how to balance check books, how to set up yearly budgets and even how to fend off long lost relatives who crawled out of the woodwork asking for loans. Occasionally people would ask my advice about money management because they knew I worked in the financial world and sometimes I would refer them to John. Over the past two years he had dangled jobs in front of me and we got to know each other socially though we never became close friends. "Lange Financial, how may I direct your call?" "Hi, it's Sam Haber is Mr. Lange still at the office?" "Let me put you on hold sir." "Hello Sam" boomed John "please tell me you are leaving the stodgy halls of corporate finance." "Could be John; I have a tale to tell. When can we meet after work?" I remembered John's sense of humor and continued. "I suggest some dark dive where no one can overhear our dastardly plans." John laughed and we made arrangements to meet Thursday after work. I made a note on my calendar and prepared to leave. Preparing to leave and leaving are two different things and at 6:30 I called Hannah and told her I was stuck at the office and settled down for a long night and pizza while we tried to predict what a failed coup in South East Asia might do to the oil market. On Wednesday I waited for a call from either Mr. Field or Personnel but nothing happened and I reminded myself that I wasn't the only issue they were dealing with. Hannah joined me for dinner at my apartment and we talked finances. Up until this point Hannah did not know how much I was making at Jerome and Field. She just knew that I made a lot more than the $38,000 she earned at her job. I told her how much I felt I needed to earn to keep the apartment and then mentioned what I was walking away from. "You see when you put together my salary, options and bonuses I pulled in $183,000 last year and this year is on track to be bigger." Hannah grew pale and she just stared at me. "$183,000?" "Yes and that is not a big salary in my world. If I were a trader I might be making more than a half million. I don't think John Lange can afford to meet my current earnings. I hope he can at least meet the minimum I need to keep this place. If he does then I don't have to raid my savings and investments and can use them for the therapy and surgery which won't be covered by insurance." "Oh God Corrita, again and again you are making these sacrifices and taking the risks and all I do is sit around a watch you sticking your neck out." "You are doing something very important. You love me and give me the strength to pursue a goal. Until this all started I worked at my job because I was good at it and I earned good money. I don't particularly like the world of finance but I have an innate sense of the markets. I wrote novels because they killed time and relieved stress. But when Corrita entered my life I had a challenge I never planned for. When you entered my life I suddenly had a prize worth any struggle." Hannah came over and hugged me. We sat together for a bit. "You know Corrita when we marry we'll combine our incomes. I don't earn a lot but it will help." I kissed her. "I hope that we can combine our incomes and live well, not just scrape by." I arrived at the office filled with nervous energy and tried to lose myself in the reports and tasks of the day. Whenever my phone rang I would jump expecting to hear Mr. Field's secretary on the other end. At 3:20 my phone gave off the single ring of an internal call. "Haber here, hello." "Hi Sam its Jack Field. Can you come on down to my office." I grabbed my pad and put on my jacket. I might be going to talk about me or he could be asking for some information on a possible business venture. My heart was pounding and I gave a brief smile to Mary who waved me in. "Hello Sam, close the door and take a seat." I got myself settled and looked at Mr. Field who sat very still for a moment." "I talked with Bob Jerome yesterday about you. He would not give his opinion because he is around the office so little these days but I know him enough to know he is not happy about this. I talked with Frank down in Personnel and he was strongly of the opinion that we should let you go. He of course told me of our legal position but I don't think that is an issue here. He mentioned a few people in middle management who he thought would be very upset including your current supervisor. We discussed moving you within the company but nothing looked practical. I'm CEO so I could overrule him but that would be bad for the company as a whole." Mr. Field sat for a moment without speaking. "I'm sorry." I just nodded. "I also discussed your terms of leaving with Frank. I can set the terms of your departure. We looked at your file and you have ten days of vacation and holiday coming to you. We'll add two weeks of vacation pay onto that. I wish we could keep you. I'm sorry." I had expected the news but still it was like hearing a judge pronouncing sentence. I just sat feeling very cold. "So do you have any prospects? Oh I asked you that on Tuesday." "I'm meeting with John Lange after work." "As I said I'll write you a letter of reference that will be glowing." "Thank you Mr. Field. Oh, I'll have a letter giving two weeks notice done by the end of the day." I left the office still feeling cold. I had taken another step and felt like I was struggling in icy water gasping for breath and reaching for the life ring which was not there. Chapter 8: Sometimes It is Easy I went back my office and closed the door. On my computer I pulled up the letter of resignation I had prepared earlier. I reread it but there were no changes that needed to be made. It was time to give it to my supervisor. Louisa Owens had been in charge of the analysis unit for years. Our relationship had always been professional and chilly. We worked well together but never talked socially beyond the standard good mornings or a have a good weekends. She was a good supervisor and gave me excellent reviews in part because I never sprung surprises on her. Now I would be telling her something I knew she was not expecting. I knocked on her door frame and she signaled me to come in. Afterwards I sat back in my office. Ms. Owens had read the letter, asked if there was something wrong in the unit and then asked if my files were in order and whether I would be able to delegate the projects I had been working on. Then she said the company would miss me and went back to reading something on her desk. As I said, chilly. I didn't tell anybody at work about my leaving. I decided to leave that for the morning. I thought about calling Hannah but knew I would get too emotional. I just sat with my door closed and tried to calm down. When 5:00 rolled around I put a smile on my face, deflected offers to go out for a drink and with resume stashed in my attach? went to meet John Lange. I arrived at the bar early and grabbing a glass of wine found a table near the back. When John walked in I waved and smiled. Seeing John always brought a smile to me. On the phone he soun