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Data Transfer By Rachelle Walker Bill Hartford scanned the screen in front of him. The programming codes would seem like hieroglyphics to most people, but Bill could understand them easier than reading the local paper. He scrolled down looking for errors in the codes, something that would ease his mind as to the malfunction that plagued him earlier in the day. Three years of 80 hour work weeks now hung in the balance. As a software engineer it was Bill's job to live on the cutting edge of programming, developing programs for both civilian and military usage. He was developing software for use by Police to quell riots by having this weapon single out the most intense and violent offenders and disabling them with a sonic burst. The weapon was to read the person's body language, posture, and other physical outputs, including thermo and sound sensors, to pick out its targets. The weapon he designed used the latest sensors and computer chips, scopes and targeting equipment, as well as ergonomic designs to allow the user quick and comfortable deployment. The weapon looked great. The problem was, it just didn't work. Today's test was an utter failure. Bill and his staff were preparing to introduce the weapon to select law enforcement agencies, but the powers that be insisted on a private showing before taking the weapon to market. Bill had finished loading the program into the weapons powerful computer and waited for the reboot. Across the test range three volunteers waited to be "zapped". Once the weapon was ready the Firearms Expert took control of the weapon. The three targets, standing amidst of group of 15 additional volunteers, began yelling and taking aggressive postures. The Firearms Expert raised the weapon and pointed towards the crowd and hit the scan button next to the trigger. The weapon scanned the crowd, looking for its targets. To this point all seemed well. As the weapon picked the three volunteers out of the crowd, the laser sight took aim at their midsections. The Firearms Expert then pulled the trigger. Instead of a high intensity sonic pulse hitting the targets, the lasers seemed to rapidly intensified and release a light burst. Upon hitting the targets, their bodies received third degree burns the size of a dime at the point of impact. One unfortunate soul had his clothes erupt in flames and received additional burns. If not for the quick thinking of several other people close by, he would have burned to death. Needless to say, the project was now indefinitely delayed, until the problem could be found. An inspection of the hardware found no issues. This meant that the problem lay in the programming, Bill's dept. Bill rubbed his eyes and stretched. He had worked 10 hours straight since the accident and had yet to find the problem. Settling back into his chair, he glanced at the clock at the bottom of his computer screen. "8:57 PM". Bill lived alone ever since the death of his wife in a car accident 8 years earlier. At 33 years old he was well respected in his field and highly sought after by several companies. Two year after his wife's death, Bill was contacted by the U.S. Army to develop software for them. After a successfully meeting their specifications and needs, every branch of the Armed Services and private law enforcement sought his skills as well. The company he worked for now was a "black company", under the supervision and ownership of the U.S. Government. The company still produced civilian software, but most of their work was for military applications. Bill engrossed himself in his work. It aided in relieving the pain he harbored since his wife's death. They had been High School sweethearts and knew from the moment they met that they would marry each other. At the age of only 20 they said their vows and began what they thought would be a life-long journey together. During the first two years of marriage Bill's wife, Melissa, worked while he finished college. After graduation he was immediately hired as an assistant programmer and this allowed Melissa to quit working. He lavished her with gifts and fine things and bought a house to begin raising a family in. About 3 weeks before her death Melissa greeted her husband with the news that she was pregnant. They rejoiced and gathered friends and family alike to share their news. This was the happiest day of Bill's life. It was also the last one. The day began as any other. Bill had left for work and Melissa got ready for her doctor's appointment. She rushed out of the house, running a few minutes behind, grabbing her purse and car keys as she left. Hurrying into her SUV she didn't notice the bulge on the left front tire. The drive itself was going to be easy enough. One mile to the freeway, six miles, exit, and then turn left. Three miles down the interstate the tire gave way. The vehicle lurched violently to the right and flipped. It rolled four times, partially ejecting Melissa, and came to rest on top of her. Fortunately for her she was killed instantly. After the funeral Bill was left to pick up the pieces of his shattered life. He quit his job and used the proceeds from selling his house to go back to school and get his Master's Degree. After the successfully writing the software for the U.S. Army, the U.S. Government hired him as a programmer and his career grew from there. Bill downloaded the program codes to discs and shuffled them into his briefcase. The security system in the building automatically engaged at 9:30 PM and all employees were required to leave by that time. Only security personnel at specific locations within the building were allowed to stay. Walking out and locking his office Bill took the few short steps to the elevator. As he waited for the doors to open, he reflected on the events of the day. 'What went wrong?' he thought to himself. The ding of the bell signaled that the elevator had arrived. Once he reached the lobby Bill acknowledged the night security guard. "Have a good night." "I heard things didn't go as planned. Figure it out yet?" the guard replied. "Hopefully tomorrow." "Ok...get some rest professor. You look tired." Bill smirked and gave one last wave as he headed out the door. By 9:00 PM most nights, almost every business in town has closed for the evening. Day after day Bill would drive the same route barely noticing the stores as they slipped past him. However tonight one brightly lit store stood out against the blackened strip. Curious he slowed to get a better look at it as he drove closer. It was a tiny shop, squeezed between to other downtown specialty stores. He read the overhead sign: "Spatial Research Unlimited". 'Strange,' Bill thought to himself. Looking at the storefront window he read "Computer experts! Programming/Debugging/Security". He stopped his car. Bill sat in his car staring at the store. 'Must be a new store,' he thought. He stared for another minute. "HONK!" Bill jumped in his seat and looked in the rearview mirror. The driver behind him was waving angrily for him to move. Bill simply waved his hand in apology and pulled to the curb. As the driver of the car behind him drove by, he made sure Bill saw his sign of international friendship. Now parked, Bill's interest turned back to the store. He gazed through the rear windshield at the tiny store. Bars guarded the windows, but the computer systems on display were like none he had ever seen. Bill just had to get a closer look. Getting out of his car, he walked up to the windows and stared at the items there. This store had some amazing systems, some that might even rival the ones he worked on for the government. He shuffled slowly, inspecting the hardware in front of him. Looking a little to his right, the door seemed to be slightly ajar. Like a moth to a flame, Bill was drawn in. The electronic tone signaled the owner that someone had arrived. He glanced at his watch. "Right on time." "Hi, Bill. I'll be right with you." Bill froze in place. "How do you know my name?" Bill asked as he stretched to see who had addressed him. "You just look like a Bill," Terrell said as he casually walked up from his storeroom. He saw the bewildered look on Bill's face. "Don't worry about it. I do that all of the time. One of those 'sixth sense' things." Bill took a couple of steps deeper into the store while keeping an eye on Terrell. However soon enough the hardware in front of him pried his attention away. He ducked and peeked, looking at the computer from all angles, marveling at its construction. Terrell gave him several moments to himself. "I don't recognize the brand," Bill said to Terrell. "You wouldn't. I build them myself," he replied. "SRU II. What does that stand for?" Bill said, pointing to the label on the computer case. "Spatial Research Unlimited, second edition." "Oh..." Bill said and again looked at the computer. After another moment or two he turned to gaze at the rest of the store. While the front part of the store seemed to be devoted to computers, the back part of the store looked more like a magic shoppe with items straight out of folklore and gothic tale. "Having trouble debugging your program?" Terrell asked. "What?" Bill turned surprised. "What makes you say that?" "Like I said earlier, it's one of those sixth sense things," Terrell said and then walked past the counter into the showroom. "I'm not supposed to talk about my work. It's classified," Bill said, now wary of the storeowner. "I know, but I've seen it before. Someone stressed out about work, can't find the solution to the problem, just need to clear his or her mind. It seems getting around something you are comfortable with temporarily removes the stress." "How do you know I work with computers?" Bill asked, still not believing Terrell's excuse. "Your I.D. badge is still on your jacket." Bill looked down and saw the Terrell was right. He unclipped the badge and shuffled it into his pocket. "By the way, my name is Terrell." Bill just acknowledged with a nod and began looking over the odd store once again. He was amazed at the variety the small store carried. One end was modern, cutting edge computers, and the other was straight out of the dark ages. "What's with all the magic stuff? Kinda strange to have it in a computer store, don't you think?" Bill asked. "No, not really," Terrell replied. "Magic is just illusions. Computers also perform a type of illusion." "I don't follow." "Just think of computer generated movies, cartoons, accident re- construction, virtual makeovers, virtual reality, the list really goes on and on. None of this is real. They are all just illusions developed in the computer. It's the human mind that brings life to it. Magic is the same way. It's just the way the mind perceives the information given to it." "So you're into illusions?" Bill said. "In a way, but I believe someone needs to be based in reality. My number one business is computers, but magic is a close second." "So the name, Spatial Research Unlimited, is based on exploring different forms of illusions," Bill added. "I knew you were a smart one," Terrell complimented Bill. "But it's the illusions based in reality. Knowing which level of reality you're on is your key to happiness." "Levels of reality?" "Think about it. You've got the conscious and subconscious to start, right?" Bill nodded yes as Terrell continued. "Well, within each of those realms, you have different levels. Ever been in a dream that seemed so real only to wake up and wish it were? Or, how about a coma patient that will suddenly awaken, only to slip back into a coma days later? Who is to say these people don't have real life somewhere else on a different level? This is what my company is all about, exploring those possibilities." "I still don't get the magic. It's just slight of hand anyway," Bill coolly replied. "If that is your perception of it, yes. But, if you open your mind, the possibilities are endless." Bill contemplated what Terrell told him and looked over the different items for sale along the side wall. He browsed the displays for just a moment longer and then turned to leave. "You miss her, don't you?" Terrell asked. Bill just turned and stared. "That's why you work so hard, try to be so engrossed in your work you don't have to think about it." "Yes, I miss her," Bill finally admitted after a long silence. He twirled the wedding band Melissa had given him as it sat on his finger. He could never bring himself to take it off. Terrell stared at the floor and took a step towards Bill and then looked up at him. "She loved you too. More than she loved herself." Bill's eyes began to fill with water. After another moment a noticeable sob came from him. Terrell just watched. "She was the reason I lived," Bill said through his tears. "I was lost in her, and I loved every minute of it. Now I'm just lost." "Do you have a picture of her?" Terrell asked. Bill slowly pulled out his wallet and fumbled to open it. Several of the pictures he had inside fell to the floor. Feeling clumsy and out of sorts, Bill bent down to pick them up. Terrell assisted. "Here," Bill said handing a picture to Terrell. "A very beautiful woman. You were a lucky man." "I only wish I could see her every day, in real life, not just these pictures," Bill said, staring at the picture of his wife. "Perhaps one day you shall," Terrell answered with a slight grin. Terrell helped Bill stand back up and handed him back his pictures. Bill sniffled once or twice while re-arranging his wallet and when it was to his liking, he shoved it into his back pocket. "I'm so sorry to be blubbering in you store. I just didn't expect it to hit me like it did." "Ah, think nothing of it," Terrell said. "I thought you just might need to vent." Bill nodded in slight agreement. "What I really need to do is go home and..." "Debug your program," Terrell finished the sentence for him. Bill wiped the remaining moisture from his eye and then looked Terrell over. 'How does he know so much?' he thought to himself. "Why don't you tell me what happened. I work with the National Security Advisor's office from time to time and have top-secret clearance," Terrell told Bill. "How do I know you're not just telling me this to get me to talk?" Terrell held up one finger as if to tell Bill to hold on. He walked behind the counter and pulled out what looked like a business card holder. Walking back to Bill he handed it to him and Bill flipped it open. Bill recognized the seal of the NSA and knew what top-secret clearance ID would look like. Bill closed the small case and handed it back to Terrell. "How long have you worked for the NSA?" "About three or four years. I work mostly as a consultant, but help them debug some of the most complicated programs when they have issues." Bill looked around the shop at some of the computers Terrell had built. "Have you heard of the 'Law Enforcement Violent Offender Restraining System' or L.E.V.O.R.S. for short?" "L.E.V.O.R.S is said to be near completion. You working on the project?" Terrell asked. "I am the project. It's my design, my programming. My failure," Bill replied dejected. "What went wrong?" "I'm not sure, but I've isolated it to somewhere in the firing sequence. The power transfer initiator overloaded and when that happens, it's supposed to dump the power back into the back-up charge unit, but instead it re-routed the power to the laser sight. The pulse generators never got the cue to fire." "What caused the overload?" "That's the problem. There shouldn't have been one. When the hardware checked out, I re-wrote the program to reduce the power flow to the initiator to check the system, but then the weapon shuts off due to low power. We are only talking minute changes in power output, and with the calculations so precise, even these changes will render it useless or deadly." "Do you have to programming with you?" Terrell asked. "I've saved it to discs. I was going to look over it tonight," Bill answered. "Tell you what," Terrell said putting a hand on Bill's shoulder, "let me look over your program and see if I can't find what's wrong. Stop by and pick it up in the morning on the way to work. This way you can get a good nights rest AND get your program de-bugged." "Why would you do that? What's in it for you?" Bill asked, still skeptical. "Because sometimes it's just nice to do something for someone else without them asking." Bill looked into Terrell's eyes and relaxed a bit. Without saying a word, he shook his head slightly in agreement. He exited the shop and walked to the passenger side of his car. Once inside, he rummaged through his briefcase until he came across the discs. Closing the door behind him, Bill once again entered the shop and then handed the discs to Terrell. "These discs are write-protected and encrypted. You'll need the SAUL42 decipher module to read them." "Not a problem," Terrell said taking possession of the discs. "By the time you come back tomorrow morning, I'll have the issues with the program isolated and either fixed or a re-write ready for you to download and replace the bad code." Bill relaxed into his bed, trying to forget the events of earlier in the day. He closed his eyes and the program codes he stared at all day scrolled in front of him, teasing him to find the error. He growled in frustration and shook his head to rid himself of them. He took several deep breaths and sank further into the mattress. Now free of his tormentor he let his mind drift, allowing random thoughts, ideas and images dance in his head. Tension fled from his body and soul. Vivid colors and calming sounds filled his senses. He lost himself to the world and gave himself to the sensible chaos of dreams. Bill awoke at 5:45 AM refreshed and alive. In fact he felt the best he had in years. He whistled a light tune in the shower, nearly danced to the breakfast table, and was hard pressed to find anything negative in the morning paper. At about 7:30 AM Bill made his way to his car. With his happy-go-lucky attitude this morning he nearly forgot to stop by Terrell's shop to pick up his program. He thought it still might be too early for the shop to be open, but nearing the area, the lights were already on the OPEN sign was clearly visible. Bill parked across the street and made his way to Terrell's store. "Good Morning, Bill!" Terrell said still unseen by Bill. "Good Morning. I was on my way to work and was wondering if you had finished looking over my program." Coming out from the backroom Terrell held Bill's discs in his hands. "Sure did. In fact, I've got the fix ready for you. This program will do everything you wished for," he said with a slight grin. "What was the problem?" Bill asked taking the discs "You were right, it was in the firing sequence. Besides having two characters transposed, I found that if you pre-charge the pulse generators, they are ready to accept the charge quicker and lessen the possibility of an overload." "But how do you overcome the problem of the power necessary to pre- charge and still have enough to fire the generators?" "By activating the back-up charge unit first. By utilizing this power, you don't lose any intensity in power from the main unit and if the system malfunctions and overloads, it's dumped right back where it came from," Terrell said proudly. Bill looked at his discs. "Did you re-write the program already?" "No. Here," Terrell said handing Bill yet another disc. "Upload this fix into your computer at work and into the main unit. It will work fine. I did simulations and it worked every time." "What do I owe you for this?" Bill asked grabbing for his wallet. "No Charge. It's on me." "This just doesn't seem right. Surely your time is worth something," Bill insisted. "Yes it is, but if you get this system to work, and you will, that will be repayment enough. When you're done, look inside for what made you happy and embrace it." 'What a strange thing to say,' Bill thought to himself. "Thank you, really, thank you," Bill said. "You're gonna be late. Go on, get to work." Bill looked at his watch and knew Terrell was right. He shook his hand and headed for his car. Under the watchful eye of security Bill entered the building. He greeted the guards and then yelled for someone to hold the elevator. He took the short ride 3 stories underground to his lab and prepared to upload Terrell's program and integrate into his own. He threw off his jacket and laid his briefcase next to his computer. Pulling out the disc he inserted into the drive. The computer whirled and whizzed and then fell silent, waiting for Bill to stroke the next command. Bill decided it would be best to look over the programming patch Terrell made for him before loading into the mainframe. He opened the file and began reading the program. Everything was straight forward, or so he thought. Bill failed to question the sub-routine written cryptically to appear to be a redundant process in the firing sequence. The reality was, it would drastically alter Bill's life forever. With his own curiosity satisfied, Bill loaded the program onto his computer. Already having a backup of the original program, Bill allowed the computer to integrate the patch and reboot the program. When the process was complete Bill ran simulations for several hours, using several different scenarios to test the program. The weapon fired every time. The only thing left now was to do live trials. Bill re-assembled the staff from the day before and most of the volunteers to stage the test. After yesterday's accident, everyone, including Bill, wore fire retardant vests over their clothes. If the test was successful the vests wouldn't matter, but this time Bill opted to be the only "violent offender" in the group. "If anything is going to happen, let it happen to me. I won't be responsible for anyone else getting hurt," he told the group. After everyone was in place Bill loaded the new program into the prototype and let it reboot. When the weapon came online, Bill walked to his place among the volunteers. "Begin recording," Bill told one of the staff. "Recording active," came a voice over the speaker system. "Begin test fire #1249 of L.E.V.O.R.S.," another voice announced. Bill began the act as ugly as he could, to stand out above the other volunteers, who were also yelling. The Firearms Expert raised the weapon and pressed the scan button to allow the weapon to begin. Within moments the weapon singled out Bill from the crowd and lined the laser sight on his mid-section. Gulping as he realized the weapon had him in its sight, Bill continued to appear agitated. The Firearms expert slid his finger back to the trigger and paused. When he was sure the weapon had locked its target, he fired. The pulse hit Bill like a linebacker hits an unprotected quarterback. He flew backwards about 10 feet, knocking several others over as he flew. The shock also knocked the wind from his lungs. Landing on the padded floor Bill assumed the fetal position as his body struggled to recover. As the gathered crowd watched Bill the weapon made several unexpected flashes and noises. The Firearms expert sheathed the weapon and stood back. The weapon shut itself down and appeared to begin to reboot. The medical staff rushed to Bill's aid. As the precious air began to re-fill his lungs, Bill rolled over and lay on his back. The medical workers began assessing Bill's condition, checking his pupils, heart rate, and breathing. It was another two full minutes before Bill had regained enough wit about himself the attempt to stand. "What does the test data look like?" Bill asked, still winded a bit. The answer was several seconds in coming. "Looks good Bill! Except for an unexpected shutdown of the weapon, everything went perfect!" an unseen voice announced over the speakers. "How do you feel?" "Like a mule kicked me." "You were down for over two minutes. That's more than enough time to take down a subject. I'd say we've got a successful test!" the voice proclaimed. The people in the room cheered, except for Bill. He walked over to the weapon and picked it up. It had already rebooted and appeared ready to fire again. "Why did the weapon shutdown?" Bill asked. "Don't know yet. There appears to have been a momentary lapse in power and the system rebooted." "Could it be the programming?" one of Bill's assistants asked. "Maybe, but it could also be the hardware learning to work with each other for the first time. We'll have to re-test and see." Bill and his associates reset the mock riot with another person "volunteering" to play Bill's former role. After seeing the way Bill was affected by the pulse only a serious bonus encouraged someone to step up. The second test fire produced the same result on the victim, but the gun did not hiccup as it did the first time. It was ready to re-fire within seconds. The weapon was designed to fire up to 12 times per minute with a maximum of 50 shots, before the weapon would need to be re-charged. It produced no permanent injury to humans or animals, but only disabled them long enough to be subdued. 7 more tests were run that day, each without incident. The team gave the shutdown of the weapon on the first test up to a system break-in. With the successful testing of L.E.V.O.R.S. now out of the way, Bill turned the project over to the marketing dept for final fit, finish, and packaging. Bill's prototype was a bit bulky, but several designs were already in the works and were close to production quality. It would still be at least 6 months before the unit was ready for street use, but enough units would be produced for demonstration purposes around the country and the world. He now also had time to relax, to remove himself from his job until the next project schedule started. That would be three weeks from now. Three weeks. Bill had wrapped himself so much into his work that he didn't know what to do with that much free time. He stopped at the local market on the way home and bought himself a bottle of his favorite wine. He was going to celebrate privately and relax, or at least try to. He picked up a nice T-bone steak, thick and juicy. Every bite and sip of wine that night seemed like it was the first time he had ever tried them. He fell asleep on the couch, having finished most of the bottle. The alcohol allowed him to rest peacefully for the second night in a row. The sun peeked through the shades in his house, waking Bill from his slumber. A slight, yet discernable hangover was about him. He forced his right eye open to get a look at the new day. Assured he was in a familiar place, he closed his eye and threw both hands and arms over his head to stretch. He felt hair grace his arms as he stretched, but didn't yet become alarmed. It was only when he began running his hands through his hair he did realize something had changed. Bill sat up abruptly and the hair he felt with his hands fell to his shoulders. He grabbed the hair with both hands and pulled it in front of him so he could see it. "What the...?" Bill said aloud. He grabbed his throat. It hurt to talk. Maybe it was the wine. He let go of his hair and re-adjusted on the couch. His head was still swimming from the wine, but he managed to steady himself. He lowered his head and the blonde locks that now crowned his head swung into view again. This was enough to get him off of the couch. He stumbled through the kitchen as his pants suddenly began to fall down. He grabbed, held them tight, and made his way towards the master bathroom to get a better look at what was going on. The light in the bathroom flickered to life and Bill squinted, as it was almost too bright. He stood in front of the mirror, but hesitated looking in it yet. He wanted to prepare himself for what he would see. Gathering his courage he looked. His mouth dropped at the reflection in front of him. The blonde locks were just the start. Bill's face, which had pre-maturely aged due to stress and grief, looked years younger and had more refinement. His lips appeared fuller and full of color. His nose looked narrower. His beard was almost non-existent. He gazed lower to look at his body. Overnight he seemed to have lost more than 30 pounds. The small gut, that normally pressed his belt to the breaking point, was not there. He looked at his arms and noticed a considerably less amount of hair on them and although he was not an athlete, even the muscles he did have seem diminished. All Bill could do was stare at his image for the next 20 minutes. It was only the phone ringing that snapped him from his twilight zone ride. "Hello?" Bill said as he grabbed his throat again in pain. "Bill? This is Kelsey down at the lab. We've been going over the data from your test yesterday and found something strange. Can you come down to the lab to see what we've found?" "Uh, I don't feel very good today Kelsey. Maybe tomorrow." "But I really think you should see this," Kelsey insisted. "It's something that would interest you very much." "Kelsey, I just don't think I can make it to the lab today," Bill said again while massaging his sore throat. Kelsey was silent for several seconds. "Tell you what. Stay put and I'll be there in about 20 minutes." "No! Wait!" Bill tried to shout, but it only hurt his throat more. It wouldn't have done him any good anyway. Kelsey had already hung up the phone. Bill's mind began to panic as his realized that a member of his team was coming over. He had no explanation as to the changes that occurred overnight and he frantically tried to come up with some sort of cover story to tell Kelsey when she arrived. He twirled his hair nervously in his fingers waiting for her. Kelsey arrived at Bill's door exactly 20 minutes after she hung up on him at the lab. She was a beautiful, 20 something woman with long brown hair and deep brown eyes to match. She had a near genius level I.Q. and had she not chosen computer science as her career field, everyone always told her she could have easily been a runway model. She was also Bill's most senior staff member. She pressed the buzzer by the door and waited for Bill to answer. Bill cautiously peeked through the eyeglass in the door to see if anyone else was with her. Seeing no one else he slowly opened the door. "Bill," Kelsey said as she burst in without really looking at him. "We've found..." She stopped and looked at Bill. "Oh my gosh..." Bill closed the door. "What's going on with you?" Kelsey asked in disbelief. Bill just shrugged. Kelsey temporarily forgot why she came over and looked at Bill from head to toe. If not for his distinctive green eyes, she would have hardly recognized him. "You look so, so...different," she finally said. "I know," Bill said again, grabbing his throat. "Why the sudden change?" She was looking for answers. "Well, I didn't do it!" he protested. "Then, who did?" "I don't know! I went to bed and everything was great. When I woke up, I looked like this!" Kelsey didn't know what to make of the situation, but as she stood there looking at Bill, her mind suddenly put Bill's situation and the reason she came over together. Her eyes got big as she realized that not only might she have the answer to Bill's predicament, but to what they found in the lab. "What is it?" Bill asked confused. Kelsey didn't say anything, but opened the laptop and set it on the coffee table in his living room and sat on the couch. Bill sat down beside her and watched as she began to access files of the test data from yesterday. She stopped and looked at Bill. "What I am about to show you, we found hidden in the programming code during the first test yesterday, the test where you were the subject. We were looking to make sure that the power glitch after the weapon fired was a fluke. It wasn't." Kelsey opened another file and turned the screen towards Bill. "Do you recognize her?" Bill looked at the screen. "It's Melissa." "Your wife?" "Yes. It's the picture we took the day we announced to everyone that she was pregnant. I have that picture in my wallet," Bill said confused. He got up and went for his wallet in the bedroom. He was shuffling through the pictures when he re-appeared to Kelsey. "It's not here. I don't understand. I had it just the other night." "Well, here's something else that is going to blow you away. That power glitch wasn't a glitch. It was a purposeful memory purge and reboot." "What?" Bill said now concerned. Had he let Terrell take advantage of him? "Yes, but there's more. While the code that was purged is no longer on the programming, a record of what it did is," Kelsey explained to Bill. "Here's what happened." She showed Bill the data from the test session. "When the weapon fired, it activated the pulse generators as it should have. But there also was a data transfer stream imbedded within the pulse that struck you. As the pulse shock wave hit you, so did the data stream. We were able to decode the data, even though the original programming codes were gone." "What did the data say?" "It was the picture of Melissa," Kelsey said as she brought her picture back up. "Now here's the part you may not want to hear. Look closely at the picture. See her hair. Now look at what is hanging from your head." Bill studied the picture closely and then pulled several strands of his own hair into view. The similarity was undeniable. "Bill, this may sound crazy, but this is what I think. Somehow you found a way to send visual data via your sonic pulse generators to, for lack of a better word, 'infect' a subject with data." "But I didn't write that code." "Well, if you didn't, who did?" "I consulted with someone who has top secret clearance, and he assured me he could find the error and fix it. When I picked up his patch yesterday morning, I looked it over before loading it into the program. I didn't see anything strange." "It must have been hidden in one of the sub-routines then," Kelsey stated. "For what purpose?" Bill said still not believing what he was hearing. "Think of all the applications, Bill. You could re-write someone's memory, encode genetic links or hybrids. It could cure diseases that medicine can't by deleting bad cells and replacing them with good one." Kelsey paused before continuing. "But I think in your case, it was to change one person into another." "What? That's absurd!" "I know it sounds strange, but look at the evidence in front of us. You are beginning to look like your dead wife Melissa! You've already got her hair. I can see your nose is similar and you've lost enough weight to make Richard Simmons proud! Several of us down at the lab theorized that the programming data that was purged was designed for what I am telling you and that is why I called. I am seeing proof of that theory before my own eyes!" Bill just sat there, looking at the image of Melissa on Kelsey's computer. He was at a loss for what was going on. If there were a malicious program that 'infected' him, what changes would come next? "If you're correct, what now?" Bill asked. "I think we need to get to down to the lab and run some tests." "I can't go out looking like this!" he protested. "Besides, I can't use my I.D. It doesn't look like me anymore!" "Stand up," Kelsey said striking an idea. "Come on, stand up." Bill reluctantly did so. "Hmm, you're about the same height I am, but a bit bulky." "I hope you're not thinking what I think you're thinking." "It's just to get you in the door. I'll bring you up there as a visitor through security. Once in the lab you can change and we'll get clearance from the brass to re-issue you an I.D. based on the changes that have taken place. It's still you on the inside, isn't it?" Kelsey said looking into Bill's eyes. "Yes it's me!" Bill said, slapping away Kelsey's hand and walking away. "Look, we've got to find out what's going on. We could be on the verge of a great discovery here." "I just don't feel comfortable being the guinea pig, that's all." "Like it or not, that's the role you're playing. All of the equipment necessary to find out what is going on is at the lab. I can't transport it here, you have to come to it." Bill sighed deeply and shook his head in disgust. He knew Kelsey was right, but he didn't want to face the reality of the situation. "Tell me, exactly what you have in mind?" Bill asked coolly. "Well, for sure you can't go looking like that." She stopped and thought for a moment. "We can go for one of two looks. Either we can make you look like a very effeminate man or more of a tomboyish woman." "Why don't you just cut my hair and I'll go looking, shall we say, not as manly as I'm used to." "Oh, no. I can't cut your hair," Kelsey said. "Why not?" "Because we need to see the changes that occurred as they exist now. Cutting your hair will only compromise our data. Look," she said walking towards Bill, "let me take care of this. I'll get you in and we'll go from there. Stay here and I'll be back in about a half hour. Don't go anywhere." "Like I really plan to," Bill said sarcastically. He rubbed his throat again, trying to soothe it. It took Kelsey almost an hour to return to Bill's house. While he was waiting he turned on the T.V. and flipped through the channels. Not much of interest was on, but he tried to watch to keep his attention from returning to the changes happening to him. Even though he barely noticed them, slowly he continued to change. Bill sprang to his feet when he heard the doorbell ring. He practically ran to the door and peered through the eyehole. Kelsey was there, but so was another woman. Kelsey must have heard him on the other side. "It's OK Bill. Just open the door." Bill slowly opened the door just enough to allow the women entry and then quickly shut it. He eyed the other woman with deep suspicion and Kelsey with a little contempt. "Who's this?" Bill asked. "This is my friend and hairdresser Stacy." "Your hairdresser? You invited your hairdresser?" "Yes!" Kelsey stated. "I did. And if we're going to be convincing, then I'm going to need her help." Bill just stared again, not happy with the way this day was going. He looked down at the two large bags the women brought in with them. "What's in the bags?" "Just some clothes, shoes, and shampoo." Bill peered down into the bags. "Seems like an awful lot for just that." "Look," Kelsey said, taking hold of Bill's shoulders and turning him around towards the bathroom, "work called and they are expecting us in about an hour or two. We don't have time to argue." She pushed him forward as she finished. Stacy grabbed both bags and followed. Over the next hour Stacy and Kelsey worked Bill over. Stacy washed and styled his hair, while Kelsey worked over his nails with a badly needed manicure. In order to make the process go smoother, neither Kelsey nor Stacy allowed him to look in the mirror. He fussed several times when Stacy applied mousse and used the blow dryer, but Kelsey chided him. "You are acting just like a teen-age girl! Chill out!" When Stacy had finished with his hair, she stood back and asked Kelsey. "Well, what do you think?" Kelsey nodded in approval. "I like it, but something's is not quite right," she said and tapped her temple to prod the answer. "I know!" Kelsey turned and began to fumble through her purse. She pulled out some eyeliner and other makeup. Bill stood up and objected. "Oh no you don't! I thought we were just trying to get me into the door, not make me up like some hooker!" "It's just a little eyeliner, mascara and foundation. It will help bring out your eyes better, cover your beard, and help with the illusion. Besides, I won't use a whole bunch." She walked closer. "Look. See. I'm wearing some now. You can hardly tell." Bill inspected her eyes. He had thought that her eyes naturally had the highlights and long lashes. "Do you think I look like a hooker?" "No." "Then what makes you think I would do that to you? Hmm?" Bill didn't answer. "Just sit back down and close your eyes. I promise it will look good and go with the look." She pushed Bill back into the chair. It didn't take long for Kelsey to make up Bill's eyes and face. When she was done, she and Stacy inspected their work. They stood there shaking their heads in approval. "That will do. Now all we need to do it get some clothes on you and get to the lab," Kelsey said. "Let me look in the mirror," Bill told the pair. Stacy quickly grabbed him. "Not yet. We're running out of time and need to finish," she said. "I need you to take your clothes off," Kelsey then said to Bill. "What?!" Bill said. "Not everything, just your shirt, socks, and pants. I've got to see what will fit you. Those clothes you've got on are so droopy, I can tell." Bill just stared at her again. "Come on, we don't have time for this." Bill slowly began to unbutton his shirt. "Hurry up!" Bill undid the last button and removed his shirt. He undid his belt and his pants immediately fell to the floor. He stepped out of them and then peeled his socks off. "Now the undershirt," Kelsey told him. "Why?" "Because, that's why! Now, come on!" she said, trying to hurry him along. Somewhat embarrassed Bill slowly removed his undershirt. As Bill dropped the shirt to the ground, both women gasped. They stared at Bill for a moment and then Stacy leaned in towards Kelsey. "He's got baby boobs." Bill overheard and looked down. He tried to say something, but no words came out. He slowly reached up and touched them to see if they were real. He hadn't felt anything strange on his chest, but as soon as he touched them, a new sensation permeated his body. He looked up in shock at the women. Kelsey just looked at Bill and seemed to be caught off- guard. "Well. I didn't expect this. I guess we'll just have to work around it." She fumbled through the bags she had brought with her and pulled out a blouse with a matching set of slacks. She handed them to Bill. "Here, try these on." "They're women's clothes," he protested. "Duh! What did you think you were going to wear, sweats? They would surely search you then. I told you before, we've got to make this look convincing." Bill grabbed the clothes. "Let's just get this over with." Bill put the blouse on first. "The buttons are backwards," he said. "Oh, here," Kelsey said and began to button the blouse for him. Once buttoned she took the slacks and had Bill step into them. While a little tight at the waist, they otherwise fit. She then pulled the blouse down a little to cover the top of the slacks. When she was done she turned Bill to view the look. "I think it will do." "What about shoes?" Stacy asked. Kelsey reached into the bag and pulled out a pair of loafers. "I know these don't exactly match, but I'm sure he's not used to heels," she said to Stacy. "Try these," Stacy said turning to Bill. He slipped one foot in and the shoe fit. He then stepped into the other one. Kelsey agreed with the look. "Okay. I think we're ready." "Wait a minute! I think I need to see what you've created. I still have some say in this you know," Bill said. "Go ahead, look in the mirror." Bill swallowed hard and stepped in front of the mirror. As his reflection came into view, he slowed. When he had a full view of himself, his jaw dropped. "Melissa." "What?" Stacy asked. "I look like Melissa, or at least really starting to." The women looked at each other. "Bill, there is one other thing we're going to need to get straight before we go," Kelsey said. "What's that?" he asked, while still staring at himself. "Your name. Security will ask your name. We've got to come up with one and you have got to be able to say it quickly or there will be issues." "How about Billie?" Stacy asked. "Perfect!" Bill looked at the women. "Billie?" "Why not?" Kelsey said. "It's really not that different from your name now and it's easy to remember." "I'm not going to need any I.D. to get a visitors pass?" Bill asked. "Don't bring any I.D. with you. It will only create confusion. I'm going to call the lab now and tell them were on our way. If we have issues with the guards, we'll tell them your one of our volunteers for testing and some of the labs workers will come up to meet us." The trio left Bill's house through the garage and Stacy said goodbye there. She swore she would keep quiet about what she had seen. As she drove away in her car, Bill and Kelsey hopped into her Jeep Liberty. The drive itself is relatively short, only about 15 minutes. Still it felt like hours and Bill felt every eye staring at him. They pulled up to the security gate and Kelsey rolled down her window. "Good Day, Kelsey. And who do we have with you today?" the guard asked peering through the window. "This is Billie Hartford. She's doing some volunteering for us today." The guard looked closer at Bill. "You related to Bill Hartford?" "Yes. He's my cousin." His voice sounded more hoarse than earlier. He rubbed his throat. "Kissing cousins," Kelsey joked. "Ok, proceed to the guard station inside and get your visitors pass. You know, chicken soup is very good for sore throats," he said to Bill. "Thank you, I know," Bill replied. "You ladies have a good day." Kelsey accelerated past the guard shack and into the lot. "Passed the first test," she said. "What do you mean?" "Didn't you hear him? 'You ladies have a good day.' That was plural, he thought you were a lady." Bill crossed his arms in disgust. "Let's just get this over with." Kelsey pulled into her pre-assigned spot and got out. Bill just sat there. Kelsey peeked back into the vehicle. "Will you get out? I don't want to have to drag you into that building." Bill just turned and looked at her as if unimpressed. "You know Bill, for someone who's going to need my help to figure out what's going on, you're sure being stubborn and making it hard for me to do so." Bill suddenly felt bad about the way he was acting. "Sorry. I guess you're right." He opened the door and got out. Both he and Kelsey walked the short distance from the parking lot to the main entrance together. As he walked he noticed how the fine fabric of the blouse rubbed across his budding breasts. He looked down and saw that his nipples were erect and very obvious to everyone. "My nipples are showing," Bill whispered to Kelsey. She looked over at him. "Not much I can do about it now. They'll go back down in a little bit," she assured him and walked into the lobby of the building. Bill followed, apprehensively. The guards at the security desk stood as Kelsey arrived. They recognized her, but were unsure of the woman behind her. "Ms. Kelsey. Is this woman with you?" one of the guards asked. "Yes. She is here as a volunteer in my lab for the day." "Ok, I'll need your name and your I.D. badge," he said to both women. "Billie Hartford," he whispered. The guard stopped. "What is your name?" he asked again. "Billie Hartford," Bill said as loud as he could. His voice was almost gone. "She has a case of laryngitis," Kelsey said, signing her in. "Oh. You any relation to Bill Hartford?" Bill tried to answer, but his voice failed him. "Cousins," Kelsey answered handing the sign-in log back to him. "I thought I saw a resemblance." Turning and grabbing a Visitors I.D. badge, he clipped it to Bill's blouse. "Make sure you wear this I.D. while you're in the building. Have a good day." The pair made their way to the elevator and Kelsey pressed the button. As they stood waiting they glanced back at the security guards. Bill smiled a fake smile and the younger of the two waved. Somewhat embarrassed, Bill looked away just as the elevator doors opened. Kelsey noted the exchange. The doors opened and the pair entered their work area. Almost immediately, several members of Bill's staff met them. Being second in charge to Bill Kelsey began to give orders and set everyone in their place. Bill was led to another room adjacent to the lab and given a gown to wear. "Mr. Hartford, please. I need you to disrobe and put this on. It will make it easier for your examination and more comfortable for you." Bill was more than happy to rid himself of the clothes Kelsey dressed him in. But even with the gown on it was obvious that changes had and were taking place. Most notably still were his breasts. They had grown slightly larger than when he first noticed them at his house. He could also tell that his body proportions were changing, but not yet sure how much. This would be discovered during his exam. For the most part that which made him male was still intact. He couldn't tell if it was the cold, nerves, or the changes elsewhere on his body, but it looked like it was trying to play hide and go seek with him in his pubic hair. He grabbed the head of his penis and pulled. Momentarily it stretched out to it full length. When he released it, it dropped and began its recoiling efforts. Not sure what to think Bill exited the small room into the lab. Over the next several hours Bill was subjected to every test the lab could think of. They brought in the medical wing and their equipment, as well every computer tech the company had to try to decode the programming retrieved from the disc Terrell had given Bill. As much as they tried, the group could not get the program to re-boot or integrate. Even their anti-decryption efforts were wasted. By about 6 PM the assembled team had enough information to begin to draw conclusions as to what happened, was currently going on, and the future results. Bill was left to lie on a gurney in the middle of the lab and could see Kelsey discussing the results with the director of the government wing of the company in the observation lounge. He watched to see if he could read their body language to get a grip on the evolving situation. After a couple of minutes Kelsey finished and looked down at Bill. She pushed the mike button for the lab. "Bill, I'll be down in a minute." Bill shook his head and then stared up at the overhead light shining on him. If he moved his head just a little, he could catch a reflection of himself. The image he saw looked less like him and more like Melissa. "Hey," Kelsey came up and spoke softly. "Have you got your voice back?" Bill shook his head no. "Ok, just listen then." She then adjusted the gurney so Bill could sit up. "This is what we know, and what we think is happening. It appears that your consultant Terrell is well known to our agency and he has done work for us in the past, but he recently became upset over payment for some work he had completed. He is one of the best, if not the very best computer programmers out there. Our government hired him because they felt it was better to have him on our side than to lose him to another agency or government." She paused and sat on the end of the bed. "Our computer team spent the better part of the afternoon trying to decipher his program. Evidentially he has come up with yet another encryption program and until he is willing to release it to us, there is no way we can dissect the code." Bill motioned for some paper to write on. Kelsey handed him the pad she had with her. Bill scribbled for a few moments and handed it back to her. "We've been looking for him, but his shop is not where you said it was." Bill looked at her with wide eyes. "You're sure about the location?" Bill shook his head yes. "I'm sure they'll find him, don't worry." "With that being said, let's turn to what's happening with you. Obviously you know certain changes are taking place. The question is how far will they go?" She just looked at Bill. "It appears the answer to that question is all the way. That is, you will completely change to look like your wife Melissa. We did a DNA profile and compared it to your profile on record. We also took samples in 1-hour intervals to gauge the rate of change. Others compared the photo of your wife to how you now appear and we compared that against the last physical your wife had at her O.B.G.Y.N. It appears that your DNA is systematically being re-written to match your wife's. When we look at the rate of change, everything should be complete in the next 12-16 hours." Bill sat there in disbelief for a moment. A tear weld up and splashed on the gown he was wearing. Kelsey handed him a tissue from her pocket. After he wiped his eyes, he asked for the pad of paper again and began writing. Kelsey read his note as he was writing and answered, "I know you didn't ask for this, but we don't have anyway of reversing the effects. Terrell is the only one who could, but he's nowhere to be found. At this point it's best that you begin to accept what it happening to you. You are becoming who Melissa was when her picture was taken. Every aspect of her physical being will replace who you were." Bill began writing again. Kelsey cut him off. "As far as we know, this is just a physical transformation. From the testing we did, inside your brain, it's still you. You are going to need some therapy to help you accept, but I want you to know, I will help you through this." She put her hands on Bill's now much daintier ones. "I consider you a friend no matter what, or who you look like. You trusted me enough on this project to promote me to the head of the class. That's not something I'm going to forget." Kelsey leaned in and gave Bill a hug. Kelsey leaned back at looked at Bill. "There's one more thing I need to run by you before I let you rest for the night. Since we know that the changes that are taking place are going to run their course, you need to decide what name you want. You can choose Billie, or since you're going to end up looking like her, Melissa. Maybe even one completely different. Once you make a decision, we push through the paperwork and get all of your records changed. Since this was not your fault and you're a valuable member of this company, The Director told me to ask." 'Billie,' Bill wrote on the pad. Kelsey smiled. "Billie it is. Do you have a middle name?" Bill shook his head no. "Ok, Billie. You've had a hard day and it's not over yet. I'll be here all night if necessary to help you through the final stages. I'll order you some dinner and see you later." The next several hours proved to be the most painful. As his body turned into Melissa Billie suffered cramps and nausea. Bones would suddenly pop and her skin pull tight to match form it was covering. At about 3:30 AM, that which made him male made its last appearance. It became engorged with blood and stood full erect for about 2 minutes and then began to slide slightly lower and into his body. The pain was unbearable. Kelsey ran down from her perch in the observatory and ordered the medical staff to give Billie morphine. She held Billie's hand while she screamed in pain. Kelsey flipped Billie's arm over, so an I.V. could be administered, but before the medicine could be introduced, Billie blacked out. The staff in the lab just stood there for a couple of moments. Kelsey felt Billie's pulse and it was strong. She then slowly lifted and folded the gown onto Billie's abdomen to look at the final stages of the change. "This is for science," she said to herself. As the entire room watched, the last of Bill's penis withdrew from sight. The skin around the groin area began to shift and fold. Kelsey didn't know when it had happened, but his testicles were already gone. Within two minutes of the disappearance of his penis the unmistakable design of female genitalia replaced it. It was another 3 minutes before the skin fixed itself into its final position. Kelsey looked over at Billie who was still passed out. Her hair was wet and matted with sweat, and beads of perspiration rolled down her face. Kelsey wetted a cloth and wiped her down and then laid the towel on her forehead. She turned to the nearest attendant. "Let's go ahead and start an I.V. and get some fluids into her just to make sure she doesn't dehydrate. Now that the process is near completion, get another full-body M.R.I. to compare her earlier results. I also want photos for the file." Billie slept for over 12 hours after the transformation's final stages. During that time her team was able to collect data and confirmed that her body had completely changed from male to female. As promised they pushed through the paperwork and changed all of Bill's records to reflect the new person he had become. Billie awoke as Kelsey clipped the new I.D. badge to her gown. "Hey, how are you?" Kelsey asked softly. "Okay, I guess," Billie said in her new feminine voice. She grabbed her throat in surprise. "Still hurts?" Kelsey asked. "No. It doesn't," Billie said and paused. "I sound like Melissa." "For all intensive purposes, you are Melissa. The final change happened right after you passed out." She looked at Billie and said, "You want to see?" Billie shook her head yes and Kelsey helped her get out of bed. The pair walked towards a full-length mirror with the I.V. in tow and Kelsey allowed Billie to view the change. Billie stood there looking at herself for about a minute and recognized Melissa's beautiful frame in front of him. "Can you remove the I.V.?" Billie asked Kelsey. "Sure," Kelsey said and then removed the tube attached to the needle still in her arm. Once she was clear of the I.V. Billie removed her gown and stood naked in front of the mirror. She was mesmerized her image and slowly raised her hand and softly stroked her left breast. She let her hand slowly fall to her mid-section where she seemed to draw a line with one of her nails. Seeing her hand in the reflection she pulled it out front of her and inspected it. She began to cry. "What is it?" Kelsey asked concerned. "This tiny scar, here by my index finger. Melissa told me how she got it slicing carrots for her mother." She allowed a tear to drop to the floor. "I guess I am Melissa now." Kelsey picked up the gown off of the floor and re-dressed Billie. She led her back to bed. "We're going to run a few more tests, but I'm going to go and get you some more appropriate clothes for you to wear. I'll be back in a couple of hours." She then kissed her on the forehead. "If you're hungry, I'll get someone to get you something to eat." Kelsey used the measurements taken at the lab to buy some clothes and underwear for Billie. She arrived back at about 8 PM and Billie was sitting at a table sipping a Coke, reading the data that was collected during his/her transformation. She motioned for Billie to follow her to the small room. She first changed into the gown for some privacy. "Here, put these on," Kelsey said once the door was closed. She handed Billie a pair of white panties. She slipped them on and then removed her gown. "I know what's coming next, but I think I'm going to need your help," Billie said talking about the bra. "Just slip your arms through the straps. Good. Now place your breasts into each cup and grab the ends of the bra and pull it behind you. Good." "How do you clip this thing?" Billie asked. "Let me get that for you. We'll practice later. You'll be a pro in no time. There. Now turn around and look at me." Kelsey inspected the fit. "Let me adjust the straps a bit. Go ahead and pull it down a little so it rests under your breasts. That's it." She adjusted the straps a little more. "There, how does that feel?" "Strange, but comfortable. I never knew how much these things weight just hanging on your chest," Billie said cupping each breast. "Well, you're a full C-cup." "They always looked good on Melissa. I always had fun with them." "Now you can have fun with them by yourself, if you know what I mean," Kelsey teased. Billie then realized at some point she would probably explore her new body in detail. "Let me get used to them first," she responded a little embarrassed. Kelsey just laughed. "I got you a different pair of slacks and a new blouse for you as well, as some shoes you can walk with. They have a small heel, but you shouldn't have a problem with them. Since none of your old clothes will fit you anymore, I'm going to take you with me to do some shopping." Kelsey again helped Billie get dressed. This time it was a pair of black slacks, a blue blouse, and a pair of black ankle boots. When she was dressed she looked into the bag Kelsey brought with her. "What else is in there?" "A robe and some night clothes. It was going to be a surprise, but we're going to let you get out of the lab and go home tonight. I would like to stay over, if you don't mind, just to make sure everything is still ok." "I guess," Billie said a little surprised. Kelsey then clipped Billie's new I.D. badge to her. "We'll brush out your hair and then head home. We both could use some rest." Billie was glad to be home. Technically she was still in charge of the L.E.V.O.R.S. program, but was also a subject now, part of the program. She would return to the lab for the next three days to see how she was adapting to her new life and study the results with the remainder of her team. Kelsey also spent the night at Billie's home and slept on the couch. Billie's dream that night brought images of her life as Bill. Specifically, around the time he and Melissa celebrated with the family about the announcement of her pregnancy. He remembered the friends and family that joined with them and the feeling of pure joy in his heart. The dream then shifted to the lab and Kelsey talking to him about what was happening. "You are becoming who Melissa was when her picture was taken. Every aspect of her physical being will replace who you were." Billie shot straight up in bed. "I'm pregnant." Kelsey held the clipboard close to her as she walked up to Billie. The look on her face told Billie what she already new. "The test came back positive. You are a little more than 2 months pregnant." Billie said nothing. "The medical staff wants to keep tabs on your pregnancy and they've scheduled an ultra-sound with an O.B.G.Y.N. who is employed by us. The appointment is tomorrow at 10 AM. In the meantime they want you to begin taking some pre-natal vitamins." "I don't want to be pregnant," Billie finally said looking sad. "I haven't even gotten used to being a woman and now I'm going to have a child." "I know. But, if you don't want to have the child, you could get an abortion." Billie thought about it for a moment. "No, I don't think so. If I'm pregnant it means that this child growing in me was the result of Melissa's and me being together. It would be like seeing her die twice if I killed this baby." Billie paused. "No, I'm going to have it. Maybe I just have to get used to the idea." Kelsey walked up to Billie a little closer. "Billie, I can't imagine what you're going through, but as a woman, I want you to know I can sympathize. You're going to need some close friends and I would like to be one of them. You're in a unique position none of us will ever experience. You grew up as one gender, experienced the joys and trials of that gender, and now you're completely the other. You're also about 8 y