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Do Boobs Prove Intelligent Design? free porn video
Do Boobs Prove Intelligent Design?
By Cal Y. Pygia
Breasts are remarkable structures. Not only are they functional, but
they're also beautiful, with a design that's truly hard to beat
(although, among gay guys, the penis and testicles are likely to
demonstrate superior inventions). I wouldn't be surprised if breasts
become a new linchpin in the age-old cosmological argument, or argument
from design, which suggests that the intelligent design that's evident in
the universe presupposes an intelligent Designer--not Gianni Versace, but
Almighty God:
Any universe that includes human female breasts suggests intelligent
design.
Ours is a universe that includes human female breasts.
Therefore, our is a universe that suggests intelligent design.
That's not a bad argument, actually. I mean, a lot of chicks have
absolutely amazing boobs: Gillian Anderson, Catherine Bell, Halle Berry,
Jessica Biel, Brooke Burke, Geena Davis, Rosana Franco, Carla Gugino,
Anne Hathaway, Katherine Heigl, Jennifer Love Hewitt, Janet Jackson,
Angelina Jolie, Nicole Kidman, Heidi Klum, Lucy Lawless, Heather
Locklear, Cindy Margolis, Katharine McPhee, Laura Prepon, Rebecca Romijn,
Shania Twain, Reese Witherspoon, Catherine Zeta-Jones.
When a guy's near any of them, he's apt to feel that he must take off his
shoes, as Moses was told to do on Mt. Sinai, when the Hebrew leader had
entered God's presence, because he was standing on hallowed ground.
What's more, a chick doesn't have to be a celebrity to have hot hooters;
she doesn't even have to have a pretty face (after all, man has invented
the paper bag). God (or nature) has blessed many millions of maidens,
pretty and otherwise, with truly beautiful bosoms.
Of course, just as philosophers have devised the problem of evil to
counter the cosmological argument, insisting that our universe has many
features--disease, mental illness, suffering, and death, for example,
that mitigate against the theory that the universe is the product of an
intelligent, let alone an omniscient and loving, God--critics of the
notion that breast design indicates an intelligent (and aesthetic)
Designer might also have their hands full, so to speak, with such
counterarguments, as it were, as Goldie Hawn, Tara Reid, Victoria
Beckham, Jessica Simpson, Jane Fonda, Sophia Loren, Marilyn Monroe, and
Jane Russell.
Most of these women are past their prime (or dead), to put it mildly, but
a few--Jessica Simpson and Tara Reid are cases in point--are still young
enough (and alive enough) to have boobs that aren't so scary that they
give voyeurs and would-be gropers nightmares. Nevertheless, death and
decay aside, the exception proves the rule: Despite the occasional
mistake of a "celebrity" with Jessica Simpson or Tara Reid breasts (and
the boobs of cadavers), there are way more beautiful boobs than there are
ugly ones.
Still, ugly breasts are unsightly, and the existence of women who sport
them may suggest the opposite of the thesis that "any universe that
includes human female breasts suggests intelligent design"; that is, ugly
boobs may suggest that "any universe that includes human female breasts
like those of Jessica Simpson or Tara Reid suggests a random and blind
evolution of life."
Another potential flaw in the "breasts prove intelligent design" argument
might be teensy-tiny, itsy-bitsy boobies, such as those sported by Selma
Blair, Kate Bosworth, Sarah Michelle Gellar, Paris Hilton, Kristin Kreuk,
Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen, Debra Messing, Erin O'Connor, Nicole Richie,
Dominique Swain, Charlize Theron, and many others. These women's chests
are, in some cases, flatter than men's, looking as though a mosquito just
happened to zero in on these chicks in just the right places.
Tiny tits may (or may not) be functional, but they're hardly impressive,
or even (dare it be said) beautiful, for the simple reason that there's
nothing there. For how can boobs be beautiful when they're altogether
absent? They can't. Therefore, the most (and the least) that thimble-size
titties can ever hope to prove is that "small breasts prove the existence
of an intelligent, but not necessarily an aesthetic, Designer." If no-tit
chicks are considered beautiful, as, admittedly, the ones I've mentioned
are, they must be considered attractive for reasons other than their non-
existent boobs. (Maybe they have gorgeous asses or beautiful minds?)
(By the way, big breasts, in and of themselves, aren't necessarily
beautiful, either, as the knockers of Roseanne, Rosie O'Donnell, Queen
Latifah, and Mike Tyson indicate.)
Even more destructive, perhaps, to the argument that breasts suggest the
existence of an intelligent and aesthetic Creator is the fact that man
can, and frequently does, make boobs that are every bit as beautiful as
any that God (or, for that matter, nature) is alleged to have made.
Celebrities undergo the surgical knife every day to "augment" their
boobs, to have them reduced, lifted, reshaped, or otherwise retooled.
Even male-to-female transsexuals, who undergo sex-reassignment surgery,
including breast implantation, often receive boobs that are considered
bigger and better than most women's all-natural counterparts. Such
preferences for man-made mammary glands suggest that man-made titties are
better looking than the real deal. If that's the case, it doesn't say
much for the divinity of a divine Designer's design for breasts.
But the argument takes flak from the other side of the transsexual
equation, too, because female-to-male transsexuals, who undergo sex-
reassignment surgery, can't get rid of their tits fast enough,
considering them to be unnecessary, useless, and, in some cases, even
ugly and repulsive. Ergo, the argument that the beauty of human female
breasts evidences the intelligent design of an aesthetic Creator seems
pretty weak and flaky.
Lest women and their lesbian admirers contend that this essay is sexist
or misogynistic, let me confess, freely and openly, that men and their
gay lovers shouldn't be smug or arrogant, for these same counterarguments
can be made if one asserts that masculine assets, such as a cock and a
pair of balls, prove the existence of an intelligent and aesthetic
Designer. Some men have miniscule pricks, undescended testicles, and ugly
dicks, just as some women have tiny titties, weird nipples, and just-
plain-ugly boobs. As a proof for the existence of God, as an intelligent
and aesthetic Creator, an argument from design that employs either boobs
or cocks and balls just doesn't seem, in the final analysis, to pass
muster.
Mckenna
- 16.04.2021
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