Butch And Stacy 8 free porn video

I am spending the summer with my best friend Matt. Due to an odd set of circumstances I got mistaken for a girl (partly because my birth name is Stacy but everybody has always called me Butch) and adopted by the friends of Matt's little sister, who got me a full makeover at the mall. I have a couple guys interested in me, as well as a girl! I am happier than I've ever been, Matt is disgusted, and his little sister Zoe is furious and threatening to expose me. So I was out at the park last evening, avoiding her. Monday morning I was up early, doing my stretching and aerobics. "I should maybe get some weights for a better workout; light ones" I thought as I watched myself in the mirror working out. The girl in the mirror looked younger than my fifteen years, but she also looked healthy and fit, with springy red curls down to her shoulders, bright green eyes, and lightly tanned skin with a sprinkling of freckles. She also looked a little smudgy and bedraggled; time for a shower! I was using much more bath and body product than I ever had before; everything had a special purpose. I wanted to take really good care of my hair and skin, to look my best. My new friends had taught me this, Sarah, Cho and Natalie; beauty does not come in the form of expensive makeup, but in taking care of yourself, eating well, exercising, hydrating, and a good daily routine of cleansing and toning. I buffed my knees and elbows with a loofah, and then decided to do my wrists and ankles too. It was fun to realize I could still skateboard as well as ever; Sarah had cleverly used my skills yesterday to get me introduced to new friends at the park. But there was no way I wanted to keep on looking like grungy scuffed-up skateboarder Butch, nope. It had been amusing to see the guys astonished to discover that a "girl" who looked like I do could still have mastered some cool routines. Out of the shower, toweling off, patting dry rather than rubbing, finishing up with toner and moisturizer, I had come to enjoy the morning routine. It made me feel good, ready to meet the world. Hm, what to wear today? There was nothing special happening, just baby sitting and trying to avoid Zoe. No fancy bra today, the kind really meant for outerwear; I opted for basic white cotton, comfy and functional. I chose light shorts with a pattern of small red and white checks, and a crop top of unbleached cotton with a little embroidery at the neck and hem. It had wide sleeves (which helped make my arms look thinner), but was short enough to show off my belly button. I was was not used to shorts like these; the fabric was so light that it tended to almost cling to me, revealing my shape. Always before, my baggy heavy jeans and cutoffs had disguised my body rather than displaying it. I wondered if I was starting to show signs of vanity; I never had done so before. I shrugged. I had never had a good reason to be vain before, either. Now I did. I added some low cut liner socks and a pair of simple white sneaks, a light touch of translucent color here and there, and I was ready for the day. Good, nobody was in the kitchen. I grabbed a multigrain protein bar and poured a glass of juice. Liz walked by in a robe, yawning and rubbing her tousled hair, but saying nothing. I went outside to wait for the kids. Cho had set me up as a babysitter with a nice young couple. They had two preschoolers. I had cared for them for one week, and got a good paycheck for my efforts. Most of that had gone to pay off Sarah and Cho for the loan they had given me for the salon (Natalie said that my modeling work had paid off my debt to her), but I had a little left for odds and ends. I was admiring the front flower garden when the kids finally arrived. "Sorry we're running a bit late; here's their lunch, no medications today, see you at 5, you do have our cell number don't you, gotta dash, buh-bye!" The mom gave each kid a loud smacking kiss and tore off. The preschoolers were both grinning up at me. We had had a great time when we were last together, and got along together really well. They did not want me to use their real names, for some reason. When I asked them what they were called, the little boy pointed to his sister and said "She's 'her'" and she had replied "And he's 'him'". So I had said, "Delighted to meet you, Lady Her and Lord Him!" They acted like that was hilarious, and had gone on making a regular game out of their names. SInce we were already in the garden, I kneeled down there and pointed out some of the flowers. "Do you know what these are?" I asked. "Flowers!" Lord Him proudly proclaimed. I smiled. "Right you are! But different flowers also have different special names, just for the kind of flower they are. Do you know, Lady Her?" She looked musingly at them. "I know some names but I'm not sure which are which? Short little flowers with different colors, like purple and pink, they might be petunias, or maybe pansies...?" "Excellent!" I clapped my hands. "Yes, these ones here are the pansies, and those are the petunias over there. Could you tell them apart next time?" She nodded her head eagerly; the boy sulked, but then brightened up. "Hey, I know that one!" he shouted, pointing to a patch of bright yellow. "Dandelion!" "Silly", said his sister, "that's just a weed." But before he could sulk again, I plucked out the few dandelions and displayed them before the children. "Some people call them weeds, but I say they are wildflowers, and beautiful in their own right. Let's go in and find a little vase for them." We found a juice glass that was just the right size. I trimmed the bottoms of the flowers, hoping that it might give them a few extra hours of freshness, and put them in water. A lovely miniature bouquet. Lord Him was proud. "Not weeds, not weeds, SEE?" he said, pointing at them. I heard stirring-around noises, so in order to avoid meeting Zoe I took the kids up to my room. I tried to show them how to somersault but it was tricky for them, they kept flipping over sideways. Still, they had fun and it was good exercise. I gave them pony rides on my back, one and then the other; I was getting exhausted but they didn't want me to stop! We got out my bag of crafts and made twisty shapes of of chenille covered wires, and tried some simple jigsaw puzzles with big pieces, and drew freehand shapes with crayons. I heard the door slam, which meant Zoe was outside. I took the kids down for lunch; their mom had packed fruit, crackers, and yogurt tubes for them. I got a cup of coffee, and some celery and hummus. They each tried a taste, but made a face. "Ugh, that's grownup food!" they complained. "What, do I look like a grownup to you?" I asked, pretending to be offended. The girl looked at me thoughtfully. "Maybe not quite yet, but you're still really really old!" I laughed. "It doesn't seem that long ago to me that I was going to the babysitter myself" I replied. "But people do change as they get older, the things they like to eat and to do change too." The kids looked at each other. "Will we not like playing games when we get old? Will we not like crackers?" I smiled. "I still like games, don't I? It's sort of like adding new things without throwing out old ones. I still like a lot of things we did today, but I have found new things to like as well." "Will we want to eat yukky stuff like hummus?" they asked. "I can't say; you will have to grow up and find out. But if you find out you like something new, somthing you never imagined you could like..." I paused, looking down at my new body, "If it makes you happy, what's wrong with that?" Their mom should be on her lunch break now, so I tried calling her. I was in luck, she picked right up. I explained that I wanted to take the kids for a walk, and end up at a store that sold ice cream cones; could they each have a small, baby-sized cone? Sure, she said, that was fine, she'd pay me back. Oh that's okay, I replied, I just didn't want to spoilt their dinner or break any dietary rules. So, after lunch, we walked out past the front garden again. "Pansies. petunias" Lady Her said, pointing. I nodded and patted her head. We opened the front gate and went out on the sidewalk. I was carrying a little hemp shoulder bag now, and reached in it. "Can you guess who I have in here? She has special powers, and will lead us on a trip!" The kids were excited. "A fairy? An alien? A frog who is an enchanted princess?" Grinning, I pulled out a shiny new copper penny. "It's Miss Penny!" I exclaimed. They looked puzzled. "See here, Miss Penny has two sides, one with a picture of somebody, and one with a building. When we flip her in the air, she will come down with one of these sides up. If it is the side with the person's face, we will keep going straight. If it is not, we will flip it again, and turn right if we see the face or left if we see the building. We will do this every time we come to a corner or a crossing or a street." "Let's flip Miss Penny right now!" exclaimed Lady Her, so I did. "She says flip again to decide whether to go left or right" I declared. "May I?" asked Lord Him. What a polite kid! He didn't exactly toss it, but sort of slammed it down on the walk, but it bounced around enough so that it spun and made us wonder which side would end up on top. "It's the building!" I said. "So what way do we turn now?" "Uh", said the girl, "I'm not really sure, and Lord Him isn't even real good with getting his left and right shoes on the feet where they belong." "We'll get used to telling where Miss Penny wants us to go, don't worry, and the more times we practice, the more Lord Him will understand right and left!" I replied. "This time, she is saying turn left." So we turned, and walked down the sidewalk past a dozen houses to the next corner. There I flipped again, and the coin told us to go straight. Then we turned right, then left. The kids sometimes took turns, and I twice had to chase after the penny as it rolled toward the gutter but it was all fun, they had a great time. We made a twisting path, sometimes coming upon a corner we had seen before from another direction. Along the way, we would point out things like birds' nests, chipmunks, bottle caps, babies in strollers, and even dandelions. Eventually, after some time, we ended up at Joe's Quik-Stop. We were a little overheated by now from all our exercise, but it was cool inside. I ordered two baby cones; Joe had a freezer full of excellent hard ice cream flavors for dipping. I let the kids take their time and choose exactly what they wanted. "Sometimes we need to let others make decisions for us, like Miss Penny was doing, and it was fun", I told them. "But sometimes we make our own choices, all by ourselves, like with ice cream flavors, and that can be fun too!" They each had a very small cone (I whispered "baby cone" in Joe's ear; the kids hate to be called babies) and I had some bottled spring water. We all sat on stools and took our time; I had to use some of my water with a napkin to clean up their hands and faces afterward but they were happily contented. "Bye Joe, see you soon" I waved as we headed out. "Bye, Stacy, come any time" he waved back. I had come to know so many people, and all as the new me! I had never been this confident, and had never felt so accepted. "Will Miss Penny tell us how to get home now?" the kids asked, looking around. They had no idea where we were, but of course I did. "No, guys, I'm sorry but Miss Penny is tired now. She tells me it has been a long hot afternoon and she wants to take a nap!" They looked at each other and nodded. "We do too", they said in unision. "Here we go then" I declared, and led them back the shortest way home. I had little mats for them on the floor of my room, and they curled up there and went right to sleep. I must have dozed off too, because before I knew it, a horn was tooting outsde, and a voice calling up to us. Their mom was back. They were all full of happy stories for her, and I could tell she was pleased with me. She insisted that I take some cash for the ice cream, even though it was more than I had spent. She pressed it into my hand. "Worth every...every penny!" she laughed, and patted me on the head. I felt funny; she patted me just like I patted Lady Her. But it was a good kind of funny feeling. Rather than go back in for supper, I just hopped on the bus and went to the park. Using my ice cream money, I bought a tuna melt and a dill pickle at the Hub. Evan was there, and he came over and sat by me. Jet planes were roaring overhead; we looked out to see the crisscrossing patterns left by their contrails. "There's an Air Force base not too far away", he commented. "They do training and maneuvers but they also like to do precision flying, like that. Want to try it?" "What?" I gulped. "I can't fly!!?" He chuckled. "You can get air, right? I saw your skateboarding skills. Why don't we go over to the park and try some precision routines, like the planes are doing? Close order drill." It sounded dangerous, a good way to have an accident, but fun. Maybe some of old Butch was still alive inside me. So Evan borrowed a board for me and we found a good long path free of traffic and started off. At first we just weaved in and out of each other's paths, sometimes cutting it pretty close. Then he did a kickspin and circled around behind me and I did the same with him. He jumped over my path, back and forth, and I did the same with him. We jumped onto the picnic tables and went grinding back and forth around each other, on the tops and on the benches. I did slam into him one time, but he grabbed me around the waist and kept me from falling. We mixed it all up, improvising, not noticing the crowd that had gathered, just totally into the moment. Then we reached the bottom and Evan exclaimed "Whew! I've had it!" Tossing his board aside, he collapsed into the grass on his back, looking up at the evening sky. I joined him there, lying beside him. "Is this a private party or can anybody join?" asked Zach, as he lay down by my other side. "Hey, this looks like fun!" said Sarah as she landed beside Evan. "Oho, I turn my back and you are lying down with strange guys!" exclaimed Kevin as he came over and landed beside Sarah. "Who are you calling strange?" asked Evan. "Who are you calling a guy?" I dared to ask. By then we were all laughing together, it was just so silly and so spontaneous. "Look" Sarah said, "the jets are still doing their precision routine..." We enjoyed the sight, and then Zach said "Yeah, just like Evan and Stacy, just exactly like that." I was so contented, it was just a perfect moment, friends around me, laughing, having fun, being part of things. I wished it could last forever. I wished it didn't have to disappear after our phone call to Mom next Sunday night. But it looked like Zoe would tell everyone my secret after that, and I would have to live the rest of the summer as a hermit and a freak. ................................................. Tuesday was rainy; I mostly played indoors with the kids. We made a city out of old boxes and packing crates, and taped paper plates on them for windows. We colored the details in with crayons. The kids had to explain what they were trying to draw because the pictures did not often resemble anything definite. "That's a dog!" "That's a bush!" They both looked a lot alike. But they tried hard and had fun. One "house" had little blobs of pink, purple and orange near it, on the bottom at each side, as if they were guarding the entrance. "I bet I know what those are", I told Lady Her. "Really?" she smiled hopefully. "Are they petunias?" I asked. "Yes, yes!" she exclaimed, jumping up and down, so proud of herself. For a while we went out on the patio and looked at the rain (there was a partial roof) and went to the little front porch too. It didn't thunder, but I told them how my mom had said the thunder was potatoes falling out of a potato wagon in the sky, that the grey clouds were the bottom side of potato fields and on the other side, away from us, were farmers with carts full of potatoes and sometimes some of them would fall off and make a rumbling sound. They seemed to like that story, although neither of them had ever seen any kind of farm in their lives. Zoe was in the kitchen, so I took some soup and a sandwich up to my room for supper. "Don't make a mess up there!" she ordered. But I was not messy. At seven, Evan came by and took me to the church to rehearse. The choir director, Mr. Waverly, got us each our parts and played them through for us, first separately, and then in harmony. He was really talented. Evan dove in with more confidence than I had, but eventually we were doing pretty well together. "Evan, try dialing it down just a little, you're drowning her out" the director said. "Am I too weak?" I worried. "Nah, he's just way too strong!" came the chuckled reply. Evan chuckled too. Singing is thirsty work; we took a break to get some water. "Have you talked to Tiger?" Evan asked me as we sipped our drinks. "Oh, is that the girl from Zoe's gang that I haven't met yet?" "Right, she's got a group and they have a recording, they're really good. But she needs a solid soprano for backup vocals and I think you would be perfect." "Well, maybe you can introduce us?" And he said maybe he could. We rehearsed some more after that, and the director was quite pleased. "You are both making fine progress, this piece should be ready well ahead of scedule." He could not meet with us that Thursday though, because he had private lessons. So, we agreed to meet at Evan's. The director would bring over a taped accompaniment. Evan drove me home in the twilight, and left me at the door. He cupped his hand behind my head, tilting my face up to his, and kissed me gently. I tried to enter quietly but Zoe had been looking. "Do you have any concept how disgusting you are?" she ranted. "Not really, I suppose, since I don't feel at all disgusting" I said. "It's just wrong, it's all wrong! Everything you do is a lie. You're fooling everybody just so you can have sex! That's it, isn't it? It's all about sex." "That was a sweet gentle kiss. If I want sex, maybe that will happen too, but not on your front step." "ARRGGH!" Zoe screamed as she fled. At least for once I had the last word. ...................................................... Wednesday dawned misty, but the rain had stopped. I got the impression that it would be a steamy humid day, so before it was too late I called the kids' home and asked if they could bring their swimming gear. Neither one could swim yet, but the pool had a shallow end where we could splash. So I told them my plans, and we started out playing in the muddy yard. We made mud pies, and declared what flavor each one was. We used pots of mud as finger paint, and made designs with it around the concrete skirt of the pool. We laid out a course for Fox and Geese, a mud circle divided into four quarters. Everywhere a line touched another line was a safe base; in between those spaces, the fox, who was "it", could capture the geese. I made the course small enough so that the kids could usually get to a safe place before I, the fox, could catch them. But there were many close calls, and the kids dove into safety so many times that they were thoroughly slimed...and so was I. Fortunately we were all wearing our swimming gear! Then we used the outside hose to clean ourselves off, and I put my thumb over the end of it to make it into a power spray like a super soaker, and we had fun with that. Liz was up, and she brought us out some cheese sandwiches and apple slices, with lemonade. Then we messed around in the shallow end until the kids were thoroughly tired, and we hosed the chemicals off ourselves, went inside to towel off and change, and all took our naps. That evening when I went to the kitchen Zoe snorted and got up to leave, but I just said "Don't bother". I walked a few blocks to Joe's place and sat on the stool in his deli munching a reuben sandwich. "Tough day, kid?" he asked. "Not really, the kids were fine, why, do I look a little down?""Yeah, frankly you do, Stacy. Is there something on your mind? You can tell old Ucle Joe." I doubted I could tell him the truth though; what a shock that would be for him! So I just said "Oh, I am in kind of a complex situation, and it looks like there are bound to be some fireworks because of that, next Sunday night when we call my mom. I might not be coming around for a while after that..." He looked at me seriously. "I don't know what's up, but I couldn't imagine you getting into any really serious trouble. I have all kinds come in here, and you happen to be one of the nicest girls around." I smiled ruefully. "Well, maybe appearances can be deceiving. Thanks. Joe." As I was slowly, reluctantly walking home, I got a call on my cell. It was Natalie. "Hey Stacy, can you come over?" "Sure, I'd like the chance to get away from here. Are you planning more art works? Shall I wear my fancy undies?" I was joking because lately she had been asking me to pose in the nude. She chuckled. "Not tonight, but maybe soon. I do have some more ideas for mythical themes. You do realize you're a real moneymaker for me, don't you? I've sold every one of your paintings, for a good price. But no, tonight I just want to talk." I had to ask her to remind me about which bus connection to take to get to her place, and before long I was there. She met me outside the door, wearing a faded blue summerweight dress. I was wearing something similar, a simple lightweight white sundress. I enjoyed the feel of the breeze on my legs. "Come on up", she invited. I said hi to her mom as we walked through, and got a warm reply. Her loft was a little stuffy, although fans we blowing. There were several half-finished canvases around the place but nothing more than half done. I sat on an ottoman while she chose to sit cross legged on the floor. "I can't seem to call up a clear image of you any more, Stacy, that's why these are unfinished", she confessed. "I called Zoe this week and she told me there was some kind of mystery about you and she could tell me more next Monday. Now I begin to notice the mystery too, some kind of aura hovering around you...or is it just my hyperactive imagination?" "No, I probably do have a weird aura, and most likely it will indeed be explained next Monday. I have secrets, ones that upset Zoe, and I am not brave enough to explain them right now." Nalatie folded her hands in front of her and looked at me seriously but said nothing. I went on, "If you found out that my secrets were shocking and unpleasant, maybe you would cut me off. Maybe you would never want to see me again. I would understand that. But I hope you would still have some good memories, because I know I will have some." One small tear trickled out of the corner of her eye. "Whatever could be so horrible?" "Something physical and psychological" I said. "What, you mean you are covering up the fact that you had an abortion or something?" I smiled sadly. "It's no use playing guessing games. Everyone will find out soon enough." "If I show you mine, will you show me yours?" she asked. "What can you possibly mean? You've already seen me nude plenty of times, what is there left to show?" "Secrets, Stacey. I will show you mine, and I want you to show me yours." I hugged myself and started to shake. "I can't! I'm just too scared. Please understand, I do trust and respect you, but I'm just too scared..." "Hm! Well, I'm going to tell you mine anyway. Maybe you'll feel more like trusting me when I'm done." She went on, "It all started when I was a little girl...Mom and Dad never bothered to get officially married, they just had everyhthing in joint name...He was a builder, and did some architectural work he wasn't licensed for but he was pretty good...I was still a preschooler when the economy took a bad turn and he lost a lot of business...He got real moody and started drinking heavily, and bringing in some disreputable guys he called his 'drinking buddies'...I became their favorite amusement, they would pinch me and paw me and fondle me, and I was scared...I told mom, and she didn't believe me, but she hid in the closet the next night and saw them pull down my pants and poke themselves into me...She grabbed a snow shovel from the closet and whacked him over the head with it...the other guys ran off but he called the cops...too bad for him I had physical evidence all over me, bruise marks, scrapes, and their damned DNA...he ended up going to jail, mom got a protection from abuse order, and neither one of us could ever stand getting close to a man after that." I hugged her, I couldn't help it. When she found out the truth, she would despise me, but I still couldn't help it. Poor, poor little girl. "So you were my first love, the first person i ever kissed since I was little. See? I am drawn to you, and feel I can trust you, and somehow I need to be with you..." Natalie said. "Oh, Natalie, how I wish I could be that for you. I do care deeply about you...as a friend. I want you to be happy and at peace. But before you make any decisions about me, you had better wait until after you hear Zoe's message Monday; it could change your mind." She stuck out her jaw. "Not likely! Zoe can get too deeply involved in her feelings and opinions, it seems to me. I can't imagine anything that would make me feel any differently about you." Even if I turn out to be the same sex as the guys who raped you? I asked myself. "You are a good person, Natalie. People can see it in your work, filled with light and inspiration. That work shows your spirit, a beautiful spirit. That little girl was never to blame for being a victim, and someday she will move on and put it all behind her, difficult as that will be. I believe this." "So does that mean you still won't tell me?" she asked. "You will find out in just a few days anyway. All I can say is that yes, I have been keeping a deep dark secret from everybody, and I did so in order to be happy without caring enough about their feelings. But that is all I dare say, right now." I felt a cold chill, even in the heat of that room. This was like a foretaste of what would happen when Zoe told everybody. True confessions time. I was not sure I could face it. I got up and looked at the door. "Maybe I should not have dumped these heavy things on you right now, when you have your own demons to confront", Natalie told me, "but I'm not sorry. I needed to tell you, and I'm glad you know. Maybe next time we can be more relaxed." "Next time had better be before Monday then", I said, "and I am rehearsing with Evan tomorrow, and helping at the shelter with Cho on Saturday." "Perfect!" Natalie somehow managed a smile. "I just so happen to be free Friday evening! See you then." ................................................. Thursday Lord Him had the sniffles. I hoped I hadn't made him sick with all our water play. We had to tone down our physical fun, which disappointed Lady Her, but we still had a good time. I sneaked some supper, reheated leftovers, out of the fridge before Zoe could confront me. Matt came and went but didn't make any trouble. I had some hot water with lemon juice, which mom used to give us in order to prevent a cold. I had an uneasy feeling that I might be catching Lord Him's bug. What to wear for my visit to Evan? With an impish grin, I chose the vest and short set with the green ruffled bra meant to be seen, the one that looked like iceberg lettuce quartered for salad. It was outrageous, in a sexy but girly way. I wanted the chance to be that, just one more time. Evan picked me up and we went to his place. We rehearsed some, to the taped accompaniment. His folks said goodbye, they were going to a movie. We both sat on the edge of his bed and stared at each other. I was blushing, and I swear his face was even redder than mine. "So, ah, what do you want to do?" I finally asked. "I think you know what I want to do, am I right? So all that matters is what you want to do", he replied. "Evan, you should know that I have been holding a secret about myself, one that Zoe will reveal to everybody next Monday. It might, it probably will, change the way you feel about me." He looked at me steadily, eye to eye. "I cannot imagine anything at all that would change how I feel about you. Unless maybe you are an axe murderer. Or, hey, have you got some vile STDs?" I saw he was kidding but still, I was grossed out. "Ewww! I'll have you know I have been a total wallflower forever, ZERO social life, right up until this summer! So there's no way." He patted my cheek and said he knew that already. So, now what? Everyone I knew would most likely hate and reject me in a few days, when Zoe spilled the beans. He might not hate me any more then if I had not loved him now, than if I had. So what if it meant I was gay? To me, right now, those were just labels. I only wanted to be happy, just for once. I wanted to feel special, in a way I never had. Maybe I would have no future at all, maybe this was my last real chance to be alive. All right then, let me please be truly alive. "Ah, do you mind if I freshen up a little bit first?" I pleaded. "Sure, the bath's just down the hall" he reassured me. So I sponge-bathed as thoroughly as I could, and touched up my makeup. I did not want any boy smells wafting from my body...what a fraud I was! This guy was gay anyway, who was I trying to kid? But I wanted him to like me as a girl. I even found some aloe vera lotion and rubbed it up inside me, so it would feel like I was moist. I was a little bit ashamed, but even more than that I was determined. I walked back in to his room and promptly shed my clothes. I was pleased and amused to see that I got instant attention from a certain part of his body. "Ah, excuse me, I'll go freshen up too" he muttered, and raced off. When he came back, I was waiting for him, coiled up on his bed. "Evan, if you don't mind, can we please not go all the way this time? I've got no experience, and I'm very tight, and just don't feel ready..." "That's fine, you are in charge here" he said in a kind voice. Then he lay down beside me. His hands explored my body; everyplace he touched felt tingling and alive. I rolled over and kissed his chest. His curly bronze hairs there tickled my nose; he smelled like sunshine to me. He was kissing my neck and shoulders. Would my fake breasts taste funny to him? Too late to worry now. I was kissing him all over too, and licking his skin, his tanned skin over those fine muscles. He was stroking my butt now. I felt him caress me there, and noticed how my flesh responded, how plump and bouncy it had become. I really did have more curves! With a shock, I realized how completely I was no longer Butch from a month ago. By now I was gasping; his mouth found mine, and his tongue entered me. I wanted to melt all over him like warm jello, like toasted cheese. His hands were moving over my crotch now. I placed mine on his. He caressed and pressed and urged, and so did I. Suddenly I spasmed, my body flew into an arc, I was quivering all over as if my fingertips were jammed into an electrical outlet. Evan was doing the same. I felt him swell, tense almost to bursting, and then... He burst. What a mess! It was all over me, and him. We both laughed. "I think I need to freshen up again", I giggled. "Me too", he laughed. "Can we do it together?" So we did. Earlier , showering together would have been an extreme turn-on. Now, it was just soothing and comforting. His strong arms were around me. We embraced, and washed each other. Before I knew it, it was time to go. His folks would soon be home. I quickly dressed, while he bundled up his sheets and put them in the laundry. "Won't your folks know what we did?" "I expect they could have guessed anyway", he confessed, "but to tell the truth, my sheets are often messy like this. I'm a healthy young boy!" And we both laughed and hugged, and he took me home and said goodbye with just a light peck on the cheek. Friday, Lord Him came with a bag of medicine and instructions, and Lady Her now had the sniffles. We mostly watched videos and told stories. When their mom eventually came to pick them up, I told her maybe a trip to the doctor was in order; they both seemed to be getting worse. She nodded silently; she was worried, too. That evening Natalie invited me over for Pad Thai and conversation. I was glad to escape from the house, and accepted eagerly. We ate in their breakfast nook in the kitchen on two stools by the counter. She had one steaming bowl between us, and we gobbled up the peanutty noodles as quickly as their spiciness would let us. "What's this stuff in it, egg?" I asked, thinking of Chinese food. "Tofu" Natalie said, grinning at my grimace. "You liked it until you knew what it was, didn't you? This is extra firm but still soaks up the flavors nicely." Finally there was one noodle left and we both tried to slurp it up at the same time, so our lips met in the middle. I gasped, and she giggled. "That wasn't planned", she explained. "In fact, I wanted to apologize for coming on to you. I value you as a friend, and don't want to scare you away. I've just been feeling the need for something more, and I can't stand guys, and you..." "I what?" "You seemed different from everybody else, maybe more free, I don't understand it but I just get this feeling around you that you're not like all the others, and maybe that allows me to feel more free somehow, it's hard to put into words...but anyway, let's be friends, ok? Just friends, that's ok with me, and maybe something else will work out for me..." I squeezed her hand. "I'd love that", I said. Then I thought about what Monday might bring. "Natalie, I've been keeping a secret from everybody, and Zoe is going to tell you all about it on Monday. When you hear it, you might not like me any more." "So you mentioned before; have you done something terrible?" "I'd say it's not so much what I've done as what I've been." "A terrorist? A spy?" I remembered how that's just what Zoe said I was, a spy, a guy in the girls' locker room. I sighed. "You'll find out soon enough. But if you are shocked by what you hear, please remember that once we were friends, and know that my feelings toward you will never change." And I laid my face on her shoulder and bawled! She patted my hair...the second one to do that this week...and said not to worry, it would all be fine. Meaningless words, maybe, because she couldn't know what might happen, but I cherished the affection behind those words. We had hot jasmine tea in the family room, and watched a dumb old science fiction movie with the sound off, while we made up dialogue for the characters. Then we hugged, and it was time for home, and bed. Saturday was super hot, as soon as the sun came up. There was no breeze. The poor pansies and petunias in the front garden were wilting, even though they were special hybrids meant to tolerate the heat. I put on some loose muslin drawstring pants and a striped peasant top; it had long sleeves, but despite the heat I felt the need to still protect my limbs from the dogs and cats, so I would have to put up with a little discomfort. It was too hot to cook any breakfast, so I had some cereal and rode off to Cho's shelter. She was already there when I arrived. The shelter was sweltering. It turned out that one of our duties today would be to cool off the animals by grooming some of them, and bathing most of them. If I had to do it alone, it could have been miserable work, but with a friend it was fun. We laughed constantly, throwing gobbets of soap foam at each other, making ourselves beards out of the bits of fur we became covered with. I had forgotten my lunch, but Cho shared her yogurt and cashews with me. "You amaze me", I said. "No matter what happens, you've always got a smile. It makes everybody else feel better." "Well", she said, "I'm healthy, we have a nice place, I have everything I need, and especially an excellent family." "Yes, your mom is super nice" I told her. I had met her when Cho introduced me to the family I was now babysitting for. "My dad is too", she said, still smiling. "We talk all the time, about everything." "Oh? I'd like to meet him too!" Her eyes fell. "Well, that's something I can't smile about. We came to America before he did, because he was still under contract at his University and wanted to finish out his term. But before he could join us, he was put on a no-fly list. Some colleagues of his in the North- North Korea- were implicated in suspected nuclear arms deals, and because he had known them and talked to them he was under suspicion too. So he's been working all this time to clear his name, and join us. But he won't give up! None of us will! Where there's life, there's hope! Terence said that, the Roman dramatist." She impressed me so much, not just by being so smart, and in a culture different from her own, but in her courage and strength of characer. I hugged her. "Stop it! You're getting your soapy fur clippings all over me!" she laughed. It was more of the same work all afternoon. By the time we were done, we were red with overheating, and pasted with matted down fur mixed with soap. The manager called everybody outside, and without warning or any permission from us, hosed us all down with a garden hose! Her assistant used another hose, and in about ten minutes we began to resemble human beings again. Some volunteers griped, but I was glad for it, even though my clothes were now clinging to my body. I could see that Cho's nipples were standing out firm because of the cold blast of water, and instead of being aroused as I should have been, as a guy, I was just worried that my nipples would not look realistic now, that people could tell they were fake because they weren't reacting. Sunday meant going to church; it was stony silence in the car. I rode up front, and Zoe sat behind her mom, scowling, with her arms crossed. She was wearing the white outfit that I had worn that first weekend, and the dressy ensemble I had chosen looked too similar, I felt. If she had just been talking to me, we could have avoided this conflict. But she had been silent, and now I am sure this fashion faux pas just added to her resentment. We might as well have been riding in a hearse. Nobody said anything. Evan greeted me warmly when we got there, and I got some nice smiles from some of the older people. I looked around. "Hey Matt, where's Lila? Doesn't she usually sit near you?" He scowled. "None of your business." The sermon was about "do not let the sun go down on your anger", so I made so bold as to ask Matt afterward if he could please stop being so mad at me. He looked down at his feet. "I am over my head with this whole thing. It's still really hard for me to think of you as my old friend Butch. But if I look at you as a whole new person, somebody I just met, then it's better, and I'm really not so mad. But Lila..." He looked back at the empty seat she had usually occupied. "Lila has broken up with me. Coach has placed me ahead of her brother Kevin on the depth chart at middle linebacker; that's a choice position in our 4-3 defense, and Kev counted on starting there this fall. Coach is trying to retrain him to start at outside linebacker but everybody knows it's sort of like a demotion. Kev is cool about it, but Lila hates me now. That's life, I guess...and here just a week ago I was mad at mom for 'picking on my girl', and I was believing Lila's lies about you...I've got a lot to learn." I patted him on the wrist; he flinched, but then gave me a little smile. That afternoon Sarah called and said Evan had a conflict and wanted her to take me over to Tiger's. The directions were tricky, she was in a part of town I was not familiar with. So Sarah came over on the bus to escort me. I was thankful that Zoe did not bother confronting us...not yet. Tiger lived in a neat little two story brick house with a white picket fence all around it, very middle-America. We lifted the latch in the front gate, pushed a button by the door, and got a quick reply: "Come right on up", over the speaker. So we let ourselves in. The entry led into a broad hallway with stairs running up one side and a series of rooms opening off the other. We took the stairs. I noticed there were two rails running along one side of the stairs, one high and one low; I couldn't figure out what they were for. At the top we came up into a broad open loft space. In one corner there was a bed, dresser, desk chair amd mirror, as in anybody's room. But the rest was entirely different. It was a sound stage, a recording studio, with a raised platform, and lots of electronic gear, lighting effects, instruments of all kinds...I was impressed. Track lighting made a spotlight upon a girl on a stool in the middle of the sound stage. She had a guitar in her lap, and was busily strumming away and singing. She had headphones on, and I saw lights on some dials on a control panel, so I guessed she was recording, and tried to keep very quiet. "Don't worry, this is just a practice demo for me to work from" she told us, looking up. She was very dark, her hair was in dreadlocks. Her unconventional makeup consisted of bright spots of color, little circles daubed here and there. Her ears were pierced, many times, and the colors featured there were bright red, gold and purple, which colors were repeated in her metallic headband. "Wanna hear it?" she smiled. She tabbed a remote on her hip, and the voice and guitar played back at us, rhythmic, quirky, fascinating. "It's not like anything I've ever heard", I said. Tiger grinned. "Yeah, it was hard to get a record contract because we did not fit a 'genre', Finally somebody decided to take a chance on us as metal funk world punk or something." We all chuckled at that. "So this is the new girl?" she asked. I stepped forward. She looked me up and down. "You sing or dance?" she asked. "I never did much dancing, but I am a gymnast which might be sort of the same thing, and I do sing", I replied. "So sing something." I didn't know anything in her style at all, so I did something I had never done before, I sang a song by Pink, "Conversations with my thirteen year old self"*, where she comforts the unhappy girl she had once been. I have no idea why, but when I got to the end, I was crying again! My face was buried in my hands, and my shoulders were shaking. "I'm so sorry", I sobbed. "This is embarrassing." "You have a good voice", Tiger said calmly. "If you are interested, I could use you in backing vocals. You would need to move around some, though, provide some visual interest." So I did a backflip and a cartwheel. I was still wearing my church outfit, so my skirt flipped up and they both could see my panties, but so what? Besides, Liz had disguised my boy parts perfectly. Tiger laughed. "Not quite what I had in mind! But I can see potential for sure. Let's go downstairs." As she got down from her chair, she grabbed two metal contraptions. They looked like short crutches, or those footed walkers that old people sometimes use. On top, they had metal tubes. She slide a forearm into each tube and leaned upon those things, letting them carry her weight. "Birth defect" she explained casually. "You just learn to live with it." She led the way to the stairs. There, she undid her crutches and carried them as she sat in a chair which was attached to the two rails I had seen. Pushing a button, she glided down to the first floor, where she put on her crutches again and went to the kitchen. "What'll you have? Juice, coffee, tea, seltzer. water, smoothies? I love smoothies." We thought it would be fun to have her whip us up something creative, so she busied herself with the food processor for awhile. They were delicious. "What's in them?" I asked. "Oh, different fruit, kiwi, berries, but I add honey and whey and stuff; I need extra nutrition. I just burn off too many calories." I looked down quickly at my tummy; I didn't want to get fat from this stuff! Tiger snorted. "I wouldn't worry if I were you; you seem to have a high metabolism too." I allowed that maybe I did after all. Or maybe I was just active and ate right. I looked over at Sarah and said I was sorry to hear about Kevin and the team. She shrugged; it didn't really bother him nearly as much as it bothered Lila. He would still be a starter. "So, you and Matt are talking again?" "I'm working at it", I said. "But maybe nobody will talk to me after tonight." And I told them how after we called my mom Zoe had sworn to reveal my deep dark secret to everybody. "So why not just tell us right now, and get it over with?" Tiger asked, with a wicked grin. "Ah, well then, the secret wouldn't be deep and dark, would it?" I stammered. "But mostly, I'm scared and ashamed. I just can't do it." Tiger put her hand on my shoulder. "You might be surprised what you can do, once you make up your mind. Look at me; my name is Katherine and my folks called me Kitty, but everybody has called me Tiger since I was 5, because I have a fighting attitude. I refuse to give in." I said I admired that, but was not sure how to handle what was going to happen. What if everybody hated me? What would I do then? Tiger looked me straight in the eye. She said "My mom is a great bridge player, a champion. When I was little, she told me that a player is not responsible for the hand they get to play. It may be a great hand or a terrible hand, but that doesn't matter. You get your points not for the hand you are given, but for how you play that hand. See? Some people start off with advantages, others with problems, but what matters most is what they do with what they've got. Otherwise you can get overly proud, or depressed, get worked up about the hand you've been given, instead of working on playing it out the best way you can. I got a mixed hand; my body is a real pain, in more ways than one. But I have talent, brains and determination. And friends." She squeezed Sarah's hand. "So I intend to play to win. And you can too, Stacey." In a week, those words would come back to haunt me. We visited for a while, Tiger gave me a copy of her CD, and we went home. I thanked Sarah and went in the house. "About time!" Zoe fumed. "We're almost ready to call your mom!" But Aunt Liz could not get through. Sometimes there was a dead silence, sometimes a dial tone, sometimes a busy signal, sometimes electronic noise. She tried for half an hour. "This is bogus", she hissed. "This number should never get a busy signal; somebody is trying to disguise this as an ordinary line. Well, the situation is serious, and I am going to go over that somebody's head." She dialed another number. It was answered immediately. She gave a code word and an alphanumeric code. "You should not call here. Prepare to disconnect" we heard a voice tell her. She replied "You just tell her that everything about Stacey is going to be exposed immediately unless she talks to me. This is a crisis. Call me back, or the shit will hit the fan." She hung up. "They do not like you to stay on the line too long anyway; otherwise the call might get traced. Don't worry, they have my number, they read every incoming number automatically." In just a few minutes we did get a call back. It was not mom. "Yes...Yes...I see" Liz said, and hung up. "She is in deep cover, everything is about to go down right now, they contacted her through an instrument which pulses physically rather than using sound, she has to use tactile code...I guess she's with the bad guys this very minute...they said she acknowledges the situation and will call us back this time next Sunday. If she doesn't, that means she's dead." "Are you okay?" Matt asked me. I was shaking all over. "Maybe it's just the stress" I gasped. But Liz felt my forehead, looked in my eyes and in my throat. "She's sick. Matt, get the thermometer." I had a high fever, it turned out. Liz gave me some medication and juice and put me to bed. I could hear Zoe complain outside my door "I'm not going to wait! I've waited long enough! You only asked me to wait for one week, which I did, and now I'm going to tell everybody." Liz was firm. "No you will not. This was unforeseen. You heard what her control told me; we will either hear back in one week, or Stacey will be an orphan. Grow up! This whole thing is much bigger than your issues with it." Zoe said something rude and slammed the door of her room. I called Cho right away and had her make other arrangements for my kids. It turned out not to be a huge problem because they were both too sick to come over anyway. Then I called Evan and Natalie and asked if they would please just this once for my sake try singing together; she could take my place in the duet. They hardly knew each other, but agreed. If it didn't work, the duet could just be cancelled. My fever was high, I was delirious. Liz had to change my sheets several times, they were soaked with sweat. She had me sit for an hour in a tub full of icy cold water. That helped a little but of course I was shivering. My new friends came by, and were hurt when Zoe snubbed them. Zach called, and sent a rosebud. Liz took me to the doctor; I had a bacterial infection, verging on pneumonia. He gave me a strong antibiotic. I spent most of the week in bed, only get up to go the the bathroom; Liz made me take long cool baths instead of showers, to help reduce my temperature. It was so hot outside, too, I just felt miserable. I had two nighties and one pair of pajamas, and I was always sweating through them so quickly that I could not keep any clean to wear. Liz got me another nightie, above the knee but modest, lightweight, with cap sleeves; it was light blue, with green kittens on it. I thought of Tiger, and tried to be strong. By that next Saturday I looked like hell, like roadkill, but at least I was starting to feel better. Come Sunday, I was still too weak to go to church. I just sat downstairs, staring at the phone, until night fell. Then it rang. It was the phone call we had all been waiting for. ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, "Conversations with my thirteen year old self" all rights reserved by the artist and creators. EMI Blackwood Music Inc Words and music by Alecia Moore (Pink) and Billy Mann