The driving lessons
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Trudy's Hard Lessons free porn video
Trudy's Hard Lessons
It was three weeks since my outing with Michael and I had heard nothing
from him, not even a message via Sam. Sam and I were still good friends,
in fact closer than ever. Finally I asked Sam if Michael was OK. Yes she
replied, as far as she knew. He was either in his room studying or out
somewhere with his university friends.
I said no more. It was as I had always thought, that however much
Michael or anyone else liked me, my sexual position in no man's land,
would prevent any intimate relationship.
Things had settled down at school. They had tired of the taunts and the
skirt lifting, even Jenny and her little gang of dimwits had left me
alone.
I was walking back from town where I had had permission to do some
shopping, when Stuart fell in beside me. We had hardly spent more than a
few minutes in each other's company since the start of term. He had
suddenly shot up, grown about three inches since our time in France as
many boys do at his age. He now towered above me. He was just as brawny
as ever, and although in the lower sixth form, he was in the first
fifteen rugger team as a front row forward. This made him quite
attractive physically. When we had met this term, he had been brotherly,
concerned for my welfare, not like the suitor of our time in France. He
offered to carry my school bag as my other hand was gripping two plastic
carriers of shopping, tights and stockings, the shoes I had promised
myself and a new handbag that I had just had to have.
We decided to take the shortcut to the boarding house, through the long
passageway which ran behind the houses on the main road. I always liked
that footpath, it was quiet and traffic free, and there were scents of
gardens and rear garden life, people gardening or hanging their washing
or just enjoying their space. Halfway along where there was a bend,
Stuart put his free arm inside my open blazer and slipped his hand into
my skirt waist. I knew how strong he was, a typical farm boy. "What are
you doing," I demanded sternly.
"I know you enjoyed sex with me, when you stayed at ours. It gave me a
real thrill. Why not have that again."
"What are you saying? You expect me to let you do it here, now?"
"Not here now, but we could ride out into the country on our bikes and
find a place where we could have some fun. I haven't seen you go out
with flash Harry in the Mercedes again, so you must be getting
desperate."
"You mean Sam's brother Michael," I squirmed and removed his hand from
my skirt, "that was just a friendship thing, staying with the Kydd's
over the Saturday night."
"Then there were all those nights with Elie. I know you two were doing
it in France. I sat outside your door twice, just listening to the
giggling."
"Oh Stuart. You are like a peeping Tom."
"You should be flattered. I don't see anyone else at school wanting
you."
"Now you are being insulting."
"Truthful. You should hear what they say about you. I still have the
photos........"
"You use them and I would tell Vanessa."
"There's only you in them. I would just say that you had asked me to
take them and that somehow someone had got hold of them from you."
I could see there was a problem. I didn't think Stuart would go that
far, but he might. My joy from my little shopping trip was all gone. I
had vanquished the bullies and taunters, got over my disappointment of
not hearing from Michael and now this. I tried to appeal to his better
nature.
"Stu, I know you really wouldn't do that. We have been such good
friends. We can see more of each other, go for walks or something, but I
just don't want to have sex with anyone. The hormones are making me a
bit sex less and I have too many other pressures on me. I can't even
think about it. In any case, I just don't want to do it."
"Not even with Michael?"
No, I thought to myself, especially not with Michael. If I ever had a
relationship with Michael or anyone else I really loved, I would not
want it to be a homosexual act. I wanted to be a whole woman and love
like a woman.
"With no one." I said emphatically.
"OK. Had to try, cause I really enjoyed screwing you. Let's see more of
each other though. Let's go for a bike ride on Sunday. There's a pub out
in the sticks where I go for a beer. You can have a girlie drink. How
about it?"
"OK, but really, no funny business."
"Course not."
I was glad when we reached the quad and we went our separate ways. I
suddenly felt tearful. Unfortunately Mrs Henderson was in the hallway,
so I could not escape to my room immediately.
"Trudy, what's the matter?" she asked.
"Oh nothing really. Just someone said something. I'm used to it." I
summoned up a wan smile.
"Is there anything we can do?"
"No it's fine. Just a weak moment and someone caught me off guard. I'm
fine now. If you'll excuse me, I need the loo."
I escaped. In my room I lay and considered what was to be done. Stuart
could easily put photos on line and they would circulate round the
school like wildfire. Somehow I had to get those photos. In the meantime
I would have to try to placate Stuart without compromising my own
feelings.
Sunday came and after lunch Stuart and I set out for his pub. On the
way, we converted our dress to civvies, taking non school wear from our
saddle bags and changing behind an old barn. I thought Stuart might jump
me, but he didn't, although I saw him sneaking a look as I changed into
a full skirt and jumper, then disposed of my school wear into my
bicycle basket.
Stuart bought a pint for himself and a gin and tonic for me in a long
glass with plenty of tonic as I had requested. Then we had another. I
loved gin and tonic, refreshing, sweet and sour. It was not until we had
mounted our bikes and ridden a mile or so, that I realised I was quite
squiffy. By the time we reached the old barn, I felt physically sick.
Stuart was concerned, helped me off my bike and held my clothes. Before
I realised what was happening, he had grabbed me as I stood skirtless.
"Come on baby," he said, "let's do it. I really want to."
He already had his hand in my panty girdle that I wore to contain my
masculinity. He found the zip and peeled it down my abdomen. I felt sick
and frightened, disgusted and yet baser instincts were taking over and I
gave in, letting him do as he wanted, penetrating my anus, painfully
ramming into me, pumping, thrusting, gripping my breasts through my
brassiere, completely possessing me. I didn't know whether I wanted to
squeal with pleasure or scream with disgust. Somehow in spite of my
alcohol clouded mind, I knew that I had to get those photos. All the
time he was pumping into me, I was feeling more and more ill. I tried to
remove myself from my body, separate my brain from the physical pain.
I wanted to be possessed but only by someone I wanted to possess me. All
the time Stuart was raping me, I tried to think of the gentleness of
Michael, tried to think of the kindness of Vanessa and my parents. It
all became a dream, I thought he would never stop.
When I came to I was alone. My clothes in disarray, my head thumping.
Stuart was nowhere to be seen. My bicycle lay beside me. I looked at my
watch in the half light of dusk. Supper was in fifteen minutes and I had
three miles to cycle. I put on my uniform and stowed my civvies in the
basket, then pushed off on the bike, wincing as my seat hit the saddle.
I was incredibly sore. Gradually my thoughts were clearing. I realised
now that the whole outing had been engineered so that Stuart could do
this, and when I had passed out, he had left me. The three miles were
full of pain. Luckily there were no hills and I made the quadrangle with
two minutes to spare. I went to the girls loo and checked myself,
cleaning myself up and making sure my clothing had no tell tale marks.
I was therefore late into supper and told James the head boy that I had
felt ill and had to go to the loo. He said I did not look well, had I
better see matron? I said I would see how I was after supper. I saw
Stuart with some cronies and ignored him. I went and sat with Wally who
was alone.
"Hi," he greeted me, "you don't look well, not your usual pristine
bright eyed self. Is the strain getting to you?"
"No, I'm in trouble and I need your help, but you have to promise not to
tell anyone. Do you give me your word?"
"Of course. I saw you and Stuart go off on your bikes, also saw him come
back over an hour ago alone. Is it something to do with that?"
"Something. Look we can't talk here. I can't eat this," motioning to the
soup before me, "I'm going now. Meet me in the chapel as soon as you
can, but don't let him see you."
"OK."
I waited in the dim light of the chapel for what seemed an age, but was
in fact only a few minutes. I was relieved when Wally entered.
We sat in a pew by the door, the only ones there.
"So what happened?"
I told Wally all I could remember. I told him about staying with Stuart
and the photos.
"What are we going to do with you?" He said.
"This is the second time he has blackmailed me. I have to get those
photos. Then we have to do something about Stuart."
"I'll see what I can do. Let me talk to him. I'll pretend to be his
friend and see where he keeps his stuff. My bet is that the photos are
in his study somewhere."
"When we shared a study, he kept all his personal stuff in his locked
tuck box. If I can get his keys then I could look for them."
"Not you, you can't be caught in the boarding house as you are now.
We'll get Peter to help. Look, Stu plays squash, He can't play squash
with a bunch of keys in his pocket. I will play him, meanwhile Peter can
take his keys from his pocket and look in his box."
"What if he locks the locker in the changing room?"
"I'll try to make sure he doesn't. We don't usually, lock. Half the keys
are lost anyhow. If we get the photos, what then."
"I want him gone. I want to get him expelled."
"You could go to the police."
"No Wally. I don't want him to have a police record as a pervert.
Perhaps set him up to get caught drinking or something."
"I'll talk to Pete, see what we can come up with. We'll keep this just
between the three of us. Are you OK physically?"
"I am going to have a long bath at the Henderson's if they will let me.
I will be OK."
"You go. I will stay another few minutes. I always thought Stuart was
agricultural, but this is a different league."
"Thanks Wally." I didn't know whether to kiss him or not. He seemed to
sense my diffidence and kissed my cheek. "Thanks, you are a brick," I
said.
"It will be OK."
I left him sitting in the gloom. As I crossed the Quad to the
Henderson's house, I was met by Stuart.
"I've been looking for you," he said sheepishly. "I was so worried about
you, didn't know what to do."
"So you abandoned me. I might have died if I had choked on my sick.
That's it Stuart, I've had it with you. I want those photos."
"No you don't. I said you were my dirty little Trudy and you still are.
Perhaps next time I won't have to get you tipsy first."
"You really are a bastard."
He had his back to the chapel as I kept backing towards the Henderson's.
I saw Wally emerge from the chapel. I had to keep Stuart's eyes on me.
"You like a bit of rough treatment, I know you do. If you could succumb
to Tom and that fashion bloke...........then why not me?"
"Perhaps it is no longer what I want."
"Turn the World upside down for what Sissy boy Trudy wants. Not me. You
do what I want and I keep the photos safe."
"Goodbye Stuart. It's over."
I turned on my heel now that Wally had disappeared.
I lay in the Henderson's bath for half an hour. I douched myself,
scrubbed my skin clean and cried a bit. All I wanted was to be the girl
I knew I was. Is that too much to ask? It was an unproductive
conversation with myself. I emerged pink and glowing. I put my
nightdress on and my thick fleecy dressing gown. I found it difficult to
look in the mirror. I took two antihistamine to make me sleep and went
to bed at just past nine. I remembered Scarlet's words in "Gone with the
Wind', when she could not cope with her worries, "I'll think about it
tomorrow, tomorrow is another day'. In spite of the awful day, I was
asleep almost immediately and did not wake until 7.00 next morning when
my radio alarm sprang into life.
I dressed carefully, having pressed my skirt and blazer. This day I had
to look better than ever. I used my hair straighteners, did my subtle
make-up and descended the stairs. Mrs Henderson caught me in the hall.
"Let me look at you," she said. She took me to the light of the front
door. "Well, you look fine this morning. I was worried about you last
night. You are not drinking are you Trudy?"
"No Mrs Henderson. I had a bilious attack yesterday. Felt awful, but the
bath and a good nights rest, you can see I am fine now."
"Just be careful Trudy. I worry about you."
"No need. I have some good friends here. They look out for me."
"And a lot of enemies. We do know what goes on. If it gets out of hand,
we are here for you. I feel for you as though you are my daughter.
Whatever, you can confide in me and it will be between the two of us."
"Thank you Mrs Henderson. I have to get to breakfast, but thank you so
much."
I ate a hearty breakfast with Wally and Peter, the whole greasy works,
fried egg streaky bacon and fried bread, orange juice and tea. Wally and
Pete were like a couple of conspirators. Breakfast done we went our
separate ways. I did not see them for a couple of days. Then at tea
Wally presented me with a plastic carrier.
"The contents of his box. You better check through and see what's there.
We didn't like to. We did look on his computer but there was nothing on
there as far as we could see."
I left my tea and went to my room. I played the three discs through my
computer. I found grainy photos of me on the one entitled "Stuart's
engineering'. The light had not been good when he had photographed me,
and if one didn't know it was me, then one would have just thought it
was some stripper. I put his memory card and stick through and found a
better photo on the card. I selected and deleted. I kept the engineering
disc, but managed to break it in two, breaking a finger nail in the
process.
I put the rest of the stuff back in the carrier and phoned Wally. He
said he would put it back somehow.
I heard nothing. When I saw Wally or Pete, they were cheerful but non-
committal. Wally was positively jaunty. "It's in hand," he said with a
wink.
The police arrived in some strength. Our form room was barred to us and
the sniffer dog was put in. Then they moved to the boarding houses.
Stuart was summoned to the Headmaster. We were prevented from talking to
him. He and a boy called Riley were picked up by their parents. The news
spread round the school and was then reported in the local paper. Two
boys charged with possession of an illegal substance. Riley it was said
had a bottle of whiskey hidden inside a TV shell, along with a packet of
cocaine. Stuart had weed in his tuck box. We never saw them again, they
were spirited away. We heard months later that they were both let off
with a caution. Stuart went to Agricultural College as I was informed by
Vanessa. I was free of him. I treated Wally and Pete to a slap up
Chinese meal. I could not thank them enough.
Meanwhile school went on as normal. I had at last, after two terms
become just one of the girls. I spent another weekend with the Kydds but
Michael was not there. I asked after him and heard that he was on an
expedition in Norway, a botanical survey. They told me he was working
very hard.
It was Easter, a year since I went to Stuart's home. Vanessa rang to ask
me up, but I said that I had to revise. It was too early to face Stuart
and anyway, I had revision to do for exams. I was invited to go to
France again in the summer hols and I readily accepted. I was confident
that I could keep Stuart at bay, but Vanessa hinted that he might
actually be in New Zealand, getting experience on a farm out there. That
sounded ideal to me. If it was just the four of us, Claire, Elie,
Vanessa and me it would be ideal. Life was looking better again. In the
absence of any friendship with Michael a time with Elie was an exciting
prospect.
All this time, my breasts were swelling. I had gone from a size 32A to a
32B. I loved them. They were perfect, pert, easily managed and were no
longer tender. I had had my leg hair laser treated and it was just fuzz
where it had not disappeared. My parents had found the money for me to
have my lower ribs removed in the Easter holiday. It was somewhat
frightening, but it would give me a much better figure. Mother deposited
me in the private hospital in Brighton and went off to stay overnight at
a hotel. I was prepped almost immediately, having had all the blood
tests a week before and I was soon on the trolley, heading to the
theatre. A nurse walked beside me holding my hand. I remembered people
in green gowns and masks peering down at me, then nothing more until I
awoke in my room. I had a certain amount of discomfort and a little
swelling at the bottom of my rib cage, but was given pills to deaden the
pain. I groaned when I moved but as the day went on the pain subsided. I
had two small wounds next to my spine. Next day I was home. The wounds
were where they had inserted the wire that separated my ribs from the
flesh and they had then sawn through the ribs. It was all healing
nicely. I used the recuperation time to revise for my exams, playing
Mozart nonstop as a background. It was tuneful, but undemanding, soothed
and shut out other noises of doors slamming and my brother trying to
tune his old car.
Over the next week the bruising and swelling lessened. I examined the
effect in the mirror. My waist was higher and also smaller by a whole
inch and a half. My figure was more hour glass than it had been. I
looked at my hips which after a year of oestrogen were more rounded. It
was a pleasing result. My spirits, down over the Stuart affair, were up.
I felt healthy, happy and able to carry on with my transitional life. A
surprise awaited me three days before I had to return to school. Mother
took me to a spa for all the treatments, massage, facial, manicure,
pedicure and finally hair and make-up. I emerged on top of the world.
Mother looked good too. "I am so proud of you," she said. "I have often
wondered whether I did the right thing after that episode with Heather.
I felt that I had made you what you are when you could have been a
contented normal boy."
"Mummy," I reverted to my childish name for her, "don't you remember
even when I was tiny wanting to have girl's clothes and a ribbon. What I
did with Heather was just curiosity, not sex. I cried with shame at the
time, knowing that in the eyes of my little world, a boy being put into
a dress was not normal, and I wanted to be normal above all. I was
frightened that people would not like me if I didn't conform. But you
finally did what I had always wanted you to do. I love being a girl,
imperfect as I still am, and I am afraid, always will be. I will never
conceive, never have a period, but I hope to live as a woman as far as
possible. You couldn't have been better."
"I couldn't want a better daughter," she said. I glowed within as we
walked arm in arm to the car.
Back to school. I had a new uniform, well skirt and blazer. Mother
wanted me to be the smartest. I was pleased to get rid of the clothes I
had worn after Stuart had raped me. I had heard nothing from him,
thought I might, but no. He must have realised that his discs had been
tampered with. Had he guessed that my friends had engineered his
expulsion?
I settled back to the routine. Sam was my best friend still amongst the
girls. I was invited to spend the weekend with her family and readily
accepted. I had given up on Michael, but that did not stop me wanting to
see him. I was surprised when it was Michael who turned up in the Merc
to pick me up. I was unaccountably embarrassed to see him and it must
have showed.
"Hi," he said casually, "you look good in that summer dress. Has that
made you blush or is it something else."
"I didn't expect it to be you picking me up."
"I haven't yet. I'm taking Sam to a club tonight, so you had better get
appropriate clothing. I'll wait."
I ran back to the Henderson's and rooted through my clothes, selecting a
mini dress which was six inches above my knee and some T bar shoes with
three inch heels. I stuffed them into a carrier and rejoined Michael,
throwing my stuff onto the rear seats. As soon as I was belted in, he
let in the clutch and we were away, the rear wheels spitting gravel.
"How was Norway?" I asked in order to break the silence.
"Yeah fine, loved it. Wild, right up in the Northern mountains, a
wilderness, but full of interest. Do you like wild places?
"I think so. I don't know. I was once frightened as a child when I got
lost in the marshes in Lincolnshire. But I liked Scotland when we went
there."
"I may go to Canada this summer. That is supposed to be even more wild."
"That will be fun," I said lamely.
"Sorry I haven't seen much of you Trudy. I had to have a break before I
became infatuated with you. It wouldn't have been fair to either of us
would it? Not as things are at the moment, you know, with your physical
state."
"No. But we could surely be friends, you know, no kissing other than
well, greetings and goodbyes. I'd like to be friends with you."
"I think I can do that now. I couldn't before."
We turned into the Kydd's driveway. Mr Kydd was mowing the extensive
front lawn. Sam emerged from within, a young man following after her.
She introduced him as David. Apparently we were going out as a foursome
to the club. We spent the afternoon knocking a tennis ball about on
their court in the back garden. Then we ate a leisurely meal prepared by
Mrs Kydd. She was a good cook.
Sam and I went up to her room to get ready for our clubbing.
"Where do you want me to change? I asked.
"I thought here, with me. Why? Oh, I see. Trudy you are just my girl
friend. Nothing could make me think of you as anything other than that.
I know you are touchy about your "bits', but I know who you are. Trudy,
my best friend."
I undressed and used her shower, then as I was dressing Sam showered. By
the time she emerged, I was doing my face, then running straighteners
through my hair.
Sam was going through her wardrobe, trying to make her mind up on what
to wear. As if to prove what she had said about considering me a girl,
she was completely nude. I found it immensely flattering. Eventually she
put on bra and pants and a top and mini skirt. As she did her makeup,
she kept up a running conversation with me. Then surprised me by saying,
"Don't you like Michael?"
"Of course I do. Whatever makes you ask that?"
"Only, he took you out once, then never again. I thought you had turned
him down, because he sulked for a long time. Then buried himself in his
degree course. So what happened?"
"I like him a lot, even more. He likes me, but unlike you, he does see
my male side. We agreed that at the moment, we can only be friends. I am
a sort of work in progress. You wouldn't want to move into a house
before its completed, would you? Anyway, I have to find someone who
would be prepared to put up with me."
"How do you mean?"
"I won't be able to have babies. No matter how good everything else is."
"Oh. I hadn't thought of that. I would like you to be my sister-in-law.
Perhaps you will just have to be my sister. He is always asking after
you, though."
"That is very reassuring. Let's not talk about it anymore."
"You know Stuart?"
"Yes."
"Well he was a friend of yours. What happened to him? I mean he didn't
seem the sort of person to use weed. How is he?
"Don't really know. He is at agricultural college. I think he is
spending the summer working in New Zealand. His mother has invited me to
go to France again."
"Oh will you go?"
"Probably, yes I think so. Vanessa has lots of contacts in Paris and we
get gifts from the fashion houses, and it will be fun, Vanessa, young
Claire and Eleanor and me."
"Oh, I thought you might come with us to Italy."
"That would be nice. Where?"
"We have a place near Venice, Punta Sabbioni, twenty minutes on the
ferry to San Marco. It will just be my parents and me, Michael is
probably going to Canada. It would be great if you could keep me
company."
"Sam, that's so kind of you. I would love to come if I can work it in
with France."
"You'll try though won't you?"
"Of course, dear Sam." I kissed her cheek and watched her face light up
in the mirror.
"Brill, wicked," she said.
We went out eventually at nine, early but then we were commanded to be
back at midnight, Sam's father reminding Michael that we were only 16
and it was in school time.
We danced a bit. Sam and I only had soft drinks as Michael said he was
responsible for us. David proved to be a really good dancer, even
pulling off a bit of street. He was also very funny. Michael was quite
serious. Eventually he and I just sat, watching the scene and listening
to the music. The DJs were quite good. I wished I was somewhere where I
could talk to Michael, but it was impossible against the deafening
music. I was quite glad in the end to be going. I went to the loo and
there was Jenny with some other girl I did not know.
"Shouldn't you be in the boys loo?" She asked loudly. Other faces turned
to see what was going on but thankfully the noise of the hand driers
deadened her voice. Her friend giggled nastily. I ignored her and shut
the cubicle door. Whe I thought they had gone I emerged. Written on the
mirror was "TRUDY NASH IS A BOY!" in an orangey lipstick. Sam was
already wiping it off.
"Sorry, she whispered, couldn't stop her without making a scene."
"Thanks," I muttered.
I sat next to Michael as he drove us home, wanting to touch. We dropped
David a couple of streets away, then we were home and more or less
straight to bed.
I slept in Sam's king size with her. I feigned tiredness, not wanting to
talk, but I lay there thinking about Michael and wondering whether I
would ever have a meaningful relationship with someone I really loved. I
must have dropped off because the next thing I knew, Sam was shaking me.
It was 10am. She was cuddled into my back, hugging me.
"Wake up sleepy head. It's another day, Scarlet," she said, aware of my
love of the film and book.
I turned to look at her. Thank God for you Sam, I thought. Then I put my
thought into words. "Thanks."
"For what?"
"For being my friend, my best friend."
"Thank you for being mine. It works both ways you know. You are not
Scarlet O'Hara, alone out there fighting the World. Don't get bitter.
You are lovely, a good person, No matter what, we have each other."
I hugged her and kissed her forehead. Then rolled out of bed.
By the time we descended for breakfast, it was nearly lunch time. Mrs
Kydd offered us a biscuit until lunch was ready. It was raining hard.
Michael was in his room studying, Mr Kydd was reading his paper in the
conservatory. I offered to help in the kitchen, but was told there was
nothing to do. Sam produced Scrabble, but before we had made more than
one word each, lunch was ready, roast beef and Yorkshire pudding,
horseradish, roast potatoes and all the veg. Michael joined us for
lunch, so charming and funny, very upbeat.
After lunch the three of us played Scrabble, arguing over words, Michael
producing words we had never heard of and swearing they were right. It
was a lovely time. I looked at myself sitting on the floor, long slim
legs protruding from my mini skirt, the rustle of my silk blouse across
my bra as I moved to place another word. I could not believe my luck in
being here with these dear people.
At half term I had yet another appointment with the psychiatrist
overseeing my transition. Have you ever met a nice psychiatrist? I have
seen three now and I had gained the impression they all needed to see a
psychiatrist. But he was well pleased with me. He placed me on the list
for surgery. I would be eighteen by the time I went under the knife. I
could not wait for my body to match my mind.
Suddenly all my self hate generated by the Stuart business and the
problems with Jenny and others, seemed as nothing compared with the
brightness of the future. I checked dates with Vanessa. We would go to
France at the end of school year, mid July, then after two weeks I would
go to Venice by train to be with Sam. Life was looking up. I felt
confident, beautiful and I had good friends too. Could a girl want more?
Hortense
- 08.09.2022
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