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The Secretary by Belladonna My name is Rachel Tyler according to everyone I'm in day to day contact with, but I was born Robert Tyler. Robert now seems more like a ghost to me than a prior version of myself. He no longer exists. Rachel subsumed him nearly two years ago when she introduced herself to the world. Back then, I was a wunderkind. I was 30 years old and in charge of a company that I had built from the ground up. After I moved away from my parents and everyone I knew to start a new life for myself after college, I briefly held a decent paying job. I saved every dollar I could to start a business. At first, I was just selling garbage on the internet, but somehow that turned into profits for me. Then, I started to invest those proceeds in the stock market. The market took off, and I was sitting pretty. It didn't take me long before I had a little corporation called Longmore Industries going in the nice little town of Longmore. I had a salesman and a secretary named Cathy down at the small office that I rented. The salesman left for better opportunities, and I replaced him with two young girls fresh out of college named Angela and Katherine. They were better looking than my old salesman was and were competent at their jobs. That was all that was needed of them. Most of the company's money came from investing some of the corporation's profits, but the corporation's operational revenue was in the black too. Robert Tyler had been something of a ghost at the company to outsiders from the beginning. I never dealt with clients in person or by phone. That was what I had the saleswomen for. They dealt with clients, and they made pitches for new ones. I just oversaw their work. I even rented the office through a realty agent who I only dealt with once. Literally, only that one person and my employees ever dealt with Robert Taylor, the owner of Longmore Industries, in his corporate capacity. It was all for the best since Robert wasn't long for this world. I remember the day it all changed. I went to work that day dressed in my normal pinstriped businessman's suit with sheer black pantyhose underneath. I had worn tights or pantyhose under my suits hundreds of times before without incident. I was always careful not show my legs. I wasn't in a relationship so no one ever saw my hairless legs. I made sure to wax frequently. I had kept my whole body hairless from my neck down since I moved out of my parent's home and moved to the other side of the country. I kept my body soft and as feminine as I could. The pantyhose or tights over my legs helped make me happy. I loved to be a little en femme in public since I couldn't be so completely because it was deemed unacceptable by society. At home it was a different story. I spent most of my time at home in women's clothes and shoes. I played out my fantasies working for a fictional boss as a secretary in my home office. I loved to parade around in heels and skirt suits. The day was like any other at the office. I examined the work of my two saleswomen. The work was typically satisfactory. They were competent saleswomen. They did enough to satisfy me, but they always seemed to have more talent than they used. They were both young and underachievers, but I wasn't a task master. They did enough to help make the corporation highly profitable in addition to my investments that had panned out. I walked out of my executive office and into the larger office. I looked at my secretary Cathy as she was typing away. She looked up at me as my office door closed behind me. I took a step and felt my pant leg get caught by the door, but I kept moving forward as I tried to stop myself. I felt the snag and then the tear. Cathy glanced at my pant leg and then looked more intently as she saw my pantyhose. She put her hand over her mouth. I was sure she was about to bust out of laughing, but she gave me a serious look. I thought it was mild shock, but, now, I think she saw this as her opportunity to advance. Katherine and Angela noticed Cathy's surprised look and my reddened face and came over from their desks. Angela giggled while Katherine tried to stop her. However, the girls in their mid-20's found that such efforts were difficult and in vain. They both started to giggle at their employer's expense. Cathy put a stop to what I wouldn't. Angela and Katherine stared at my secretary who had scolded them in a stern voice. I thanked Cathy for calming Angela and Katherine down. Katherine asked me, "Why are you are wearing pantyhose?" I hemmed and hawed before I said, "It's not something I do regularly. I just felt that it was kind of cold outside, and I wanted an extra layer of clothing." That successfully convinced no one. I looked at their disbelieving faces with unease. Angela walked over to me and bent down, she moved my tattered pant leg away and examined my legs. She smiled and said, "They're shaved." I blushed in embarrassment. I tried to explain, "That's to make the pantyhose feel better on my legs. It's purely for comfort." Cathy almost laughed at my pathetic lies. I gave up the charade at that point. I said, "Girls, I'll be honest. I've cross-dressed before. Just around the house. I only wear women's clothes beneath my male ones in public. I hope we can all be adult about this and put it behind us." Katherine then asked, "Why don't you dress up as a woman in public?" I paused and said, "I can't do that. It's not acceptable behavior." "Why don't you just do it here then?" Angela interjected. "Girls, I'm not really capable of pulling it off." Cathy laughed and said, "Yes, you are. Look at your dainty little arms with baby fat where your muscles should be. You've got small hands and feet too, just like a woman. You're only 5'6". That's not very tall for a woman. A little more than average, but nothing more. You've already got long hair and thin eyebrows." I nodded as she listed the features that I loved about myself. I loved my feminine qualities and loved hearing about them. Angela chimed in and said, "Don't forget his legs. They're perfectly thin and toned." Cathy nodded and added, "And you've got girlish features like your narrow nose and small head." I blushed as she described me. I laughed it off and said, "It doesn't matter. I can't bring myself to do it. I've tried before, but I can't." "Nonsense", Cathy declared, "you'll do it. I know you can. We know what you are now. Don't try to hide it." I felt a tear reach my eye as I realized that my humiliation was already complete with these girls. I was not a man in their eyes. I batted the tear away with blinks and said, "You're right, Cathy. I'll do it." Cathy grinned broadly. Angela and Katherine looked at each other with smiles. I had nothing to lose with these girls. I was already a pantyhose wearing, leg shaving guy. A skirt and heels wouldn't make much a difference in their estimation of me. I got the office back to working and went home that night. After dinner, I decided to layout my outfit for the following day. I went into 'Rachel's' bedroom to look at my female clothes. 'Rachel' was my female alter ego. I had 4 bedrooms in my home. 1 was used as my study. 1 was used for storage. The other was my male bedroom, and the other was my female bedroom. My male bedroom was full of my male clothes, and spartanly adorned. My female bedroom was just the opposite. In that room, I embraced all aspects of femininity. I had a pink bedspread over my floral sheets. I had paintings and pictures of pretty flowers and ballerinas on the walls. The white furniture was full of my tights, pantyhose and bras. My closet was carefully organized by the clothing type. My skirt suits and business blouses were on one end, while my dresses and my bedroom wear were in the middle and my casual skirts, dresses and tops were to the other side. The top of the closet and floor of it were littered with shoes. It was mostly heels, but there were some flats, wedges, and pastel flip-flops in there. I selected a simple black skirt suit. I decided to wear a pair of sheer black pantyhose with them. I looked at my various shoes and selected a conservative pair of 2?-inch black, patent leather heels. The rounded toe helped minimize the size of my feet, which were only a size 9 anyway, but I didn't want to make them look any bigger. I figured the cushioned foot bed would be good on my feet too. I went to bed that night excited about the next day. It was the first time I could remember being excited about going to the office. The next morning, I showered and ate a quick breakfast before I headed into 'Rachel's' room. I combed my hair down so that it was straight and manageable. I then sat on the bed and slowly rolled my pantyhose up my legs. I waited for my excitement to subside before I reached into them and tucked away my member. I put on the black pencil skirt of the suit next. I felt so girlish as I pulled up the back zipper and walked in the small, measured steps my constricted legs were forced to take. I attached my breast forms with glue and helped secure them in place with a black bra. I put on a teal, satin blouse and then finished off the ensemble with the black suit jacket. I then sat in front of the vanity and did my make up. I applied a little lipstick and mascara, with a touch of rouge. I then placed my makeup in my black purse. I zipped my purse closed after I placed my male wallet into it. I walked over towards my closet, picked up my black pumps, and slipped them on. I then headed down the stairs and into my garage. I slumped down as I opened my garage door and pulled my sports car out of the garage. I was carefully trying to not been seen. I wanted to make sure that none of my neighbors saw me as I drove en femme. I got down the street and felt more relaxed. The farther I got from my home, the more comfortable I became being Rachel. I felt at ease being her by the time I reached my office. I pulled up in front of the building and exited without even thinking about how I was dressed. I unlocked the office, headed into my office, and got to work. I heard Cathy enter the office. She came in to my office to check me out. She froze where she stood when she saw me. She was genuinely surprised with how I looked. Cathy shook her head and asked me to stand in front of her. I came out from behind my desk. She sized me up like a piece of meat. She said, "I wish I had your legs." I smiled at her complement. She was a short woman of only 5'1". She was not fat, but her legs were thicker than mine. I asked her, "How do I look?" "Are you serious? You look lovely. I would never guess that you were a guy if I knew better. You look just like any other young, professional woman." I smiled and thanked her. She said, "You're welcome, dear. You're pretty average looking for a girl. I wouldn't go entering any beauty pageants, but other than that, you're set." I blushed, smiled and ignored the fact she called me "Dear" instead of Mr. Tyler, which I guess would have been pretty ridiculous to call me at that moment. I heard the door open again, and heard Angela and Katherine's voices. They usually came in together. I walked towards my office door to go out and greet them. As I did, I caught Cathy staring at my steps. She saw how femininely I walked. She noted it. I caught her and blushed. She knew I had real experience in heels. I came out and Angela and Katherine froze as they stood near their desks. Angela's mouth dropped. Katherine giggled a little and said, "You look like a girl!" "Isn't that the point?" I asked. Katherine nodded and said, "You really look like a girl." I nodded and said, "Thank you." Cathy put her arm on my shoulder and said, "She's a complement whore, girls." We all laughed a little. Then I motioned the girls into the conference room so we could talk. I smelt the coffee in there that Cathy had put on while Katherine and Angela were first examining me. I had the girls sit while the sound of the coffee brewing filled the silent room. I looked down at the girls and said, "So what does everyone think?" Angela smiled and said, "You make a better girl than a guy." I blushed. I didn't know how to take that. Was that a complement of my femininity or a condemnation of my masculinity? I knew my frame was more like a girl's than a man's, but I knew no one questioned my gender as a man, only my sexual orientation. Angela asked, "Do you have name you call yourself, Ms. Tyler?" I smirked as she called me Ms. Tyler instead of Mr. Tyler like she always did. I responded, "I call myself Rachel." Katherine said, "Rachel? That's a nice name for you." "Thank you", I replied. Katherine continued, "Ms. Tyler, you really walk like a girl." I shrugged and said, "I guess." "How long have you been walking in heels?" Cathy asked. I said, "8 years." Angela giggled and said, "That's longer than me." I blushed and said, "Well, that's not really important. You walk just as good as I do in them, and I could never pull of those pointy toed, sling backs." "You like them?" Angela said. "Of course. What are they Calvin Klein? Angela nodded, smiled broadly and turned to Katherine. Katherine giggled and asked me, "Where did you get those shoes?" "I ordered them on line from Lord and Taylor's. I love them, they're Steve Maddens." "You buy Steve Maddens?" Katherine asked. "Well, yes. I love his shoes." "I do to. Especially, the one's you've got on." "Thanks, they're one of my favorites. I've got some grey one's I like more, and some black suede ones with bows on them." Katherine looked at me with an amused look and asked, "How many pairs of heels do you have?" "I counted once, and it was like about a 110." I saw three jaws drop. I had really given myself up. This wasn't something I did some of the time. My cross-dressing was a regular occurrence. Something I did whenever I could. Cathy had known me the longest. She smiled at what I had admitted and what I was wearing. She seemed to have confirmed everything she ever thought of me. I figured that she thought of me as girl. Cathy then blurted out, "I want a cup of coffee." I saw that it was made and was already standing, so I instinctively walked over and poured her a cup and put in a little milk. I didn't think anything of it. She didn't ask me to do it; I just did it for reasons I don't even pretend to know. The looks I got as I brought it back to Cathy conveyed shock at what I had done. I began to realize that I had just fetched my employee coffee. I placed it in front of Cathy and tried to play it off, saying, "Just felt like being one of the girls for a bit." Cathy smiled and nodded. She gave me a probing look as did Angela and Katherine. They all had picked up on something about me. Katherine asked me, "Can you get me a cup of coffee too, if you're just being one of the girls." I smiled and said, "Of course, Ms. Smith." As I turned away, I almost could have hit myself for saying it. I had slipped into my secretary fantasy. I looked back at the girls as they examined me as I poured the coffee and added milk and sugar the way Katherine liked it. They all knew there was more to my cross-dressing than I was letting on. I brought the coffee to Katherine who said, "Thank you, Rachel." She had addressed me by my first name. Well, not really my first name, just what I had told them I called myself. I smiled and failed to correct her. The girls picked up on it and Cathy asked, "Rachel, why did you call Katherine Ms. Smith?" I shook my head and said, "I don't know. I guess I was being proper." "Proper? How so?" Cathy asked. "I'm not sure. I didn't mean anything by it, Cathy." "Oh, so you call me by my first name and not Katherine?" Cathy said with mock indignation. I knew I shouldn't like that tone from a subordinate, but it turned me on. I said, "I'm sorry, I'll be sure to stick to calling you all by your first names." Cathy replied, "Why not our last names?" "Because you're my employees. You call me by my last name, not the other way around." "Rachel, I don't think that's right", Katherine interjected. "Well, Ms. Smith..." I caught myself calling her that again. I was slipping into my secretary fantasy again. Angela piped up and said, "You did it again, Rachel!" I shook my head and heard Cathy say, "Maybe you'd like to assist the girls around here for a little while?" I shook my head and Cathy said, "Hear me out, Rachel. You could be the secretary and I'll work your job for a week. I'll be just as capable as you in making sure the other two do their work. I'm sure you could do my job." "I can't do that, Ms. Roberts", I replied while I was almost simultaneously damning myself for saying it. "There, you called me by my last name like a secretary would, not a boss. You want to do my job. Just admit it." I wanted to admit it, but I feared I'd lose their respect if I did. I shook my head and said, "I don't, really." Angela smiled and said, "Rachel, can you get me that file behind you." I turned and walked a few steps towards the counter and took the file off of it. I felt like a secretary as I picked it up and walked it over towards Angela. I handed it to her with a smile like a good secretary would. Angela said, "Thank you, Rachel." I replied "You're welcome, Ms. Torre." I realized I couldn't help myself. As long as I was dressed as a woman I was going to be acting the role I wanted to be a woman in. I wasn't a female boss, I was a female secretary in my fantasies. My whole life, I'd been playing out the role alone. Now, that I was dressed as a girl at work, the fantasy role was taking over. What I wanted to be was overtaking what I was supposed to be. Cathy then said, "You really want us to believe that you don't want to be a secretary, even for a little bit?" I did not reply. I was silent and still. Cathy continued and said, "Rachel, we're not talking about forever here. Maybe a week tops. What do you got to lose? Do you think we'll really think less of you for acting like a secretary for a week? You're already in a skirt for God's sake. We're not going to think you're less of a man for wanting to be a secretary too." Cathy took me down a few pegs with that one. I nodded and said, "I do want to be a secretary." She smile and said, "Then do we have a deal. For one week, we'll swap jobs. Is that okay?" I nodded. Cathy reached out her outstretched hand and said, "Deal?" I shook her hand and she stood up. She asked me to sit at the table. I did so next to Angela and Katherine. Cathy then laid down the rules, "Rachel, you're to call me by my last name like I used to call you." I nodded in acceptance of this. Cathy continued, "Unlike me, you're to call Ms. Smith and Ms. Torre by their last names as well. It will help secure your acceptance of your position." I nodded. I badly wanted to call them by their last names. I didn't need to accept my position though. I was more than capable of playing the secretary after years of doing so in my head and at home for a fictional boss. Cathy noted my acceptance and said, "Good, now, girls get to work." Katherine and Angela stood up and went to their desks while I followed Cathy to my office. I got her set up in there. I showed her where I kept everything. She then set me up at her desk. She showed me where everything was filed and what work had to be done. Everything she showed me filled me excitement. I had long envied Cathy for being a secretary. I wanted to do it so badly. Now, I was getting a chance to essentially be her. As I sat at her desk to fill out some forms, I saw her close the door to my office. It was a clear show of authority. It wasn't my office anymore. It was hers. I was just the secretary and would have to knock to be permitted to enter. It didn't take me long to get a call. I picked up the phone and said, as Cathy always did, "Longmore Industries, how can I help you?" The voice responded, "This is Mr. McCardle calling for Katherine Smith." "I'll transfer you right away, sir." I replied before transferring his call to Katherine. It felt good to field a call like a secretary. After I finished filling out the forms, I knocked on Cathy's door and said, "Ms. Roberts, can I come in." "Yes, Rachel", she replied. I entered and handed her the forms. She smiled as she took them and said, "I've got a few things for you to do, Rachel." I smiled and said, "What are they Ms. Roberts?" "Well, I want you to order us lunch from Mario's. I'll be having Eggplant rollatini. I want you to get the other girls orders as well. You'll be picking it up there." I nearly flipped out when she said I had to pick it up. I shook my head and said, "Ms. Roberts, I can't pick it up. They'll know what I am." She shook her head and said, "First, they won't know. You're to effeminate for them to pick up on your hidden masculinity. Furthermore, you have no choice in the matter." I nodded in resignation. Cathy continued, "I want you to set me up an appointment on the 14th for a mani-pedi at Sherri's Nails in the afternoon. I also want you to copy these documents", she said as she handed them to me. I took them from her hand and she continued, "But first, go get me a cup of coffee." I nodded and took her cup as well. I placed the papers on my desk and headed for the conference room to pour her a cup coffee. As I walked past, Angela and Katherine, Katherine asked, "Can you get me a cup, Rachel?" I replied I would as I picked up her cup and Angela asked for one as well. I took their three cups into the conference room and poured each a cup. I put in milk into all their cups and put in sugar into Katherine and Angela's. I almost had to laugh at myself then. I was their boss, but if anyone saw me then, they wouldn't possibly think that. I carried their coffees back to them. As I placed a cup on Katherine's desk, she said, "Thank you, Rachel." I replied, "You're welcome, Ms. Smith." I turned to Angela and handed her a cup. She smiled and thanked me. I smirked as I walked away to deliver a cup to Cathy. I walked in and gave her the cup. She took it from me and waived me off dismissively as she talked on the phone. I felt a surge of sexual bliss as I was dismissed like a secretary instead of being respected like a boss. I walked out of her office, picked up the papers and brought them to the copier. I made the copies she asked like she had done for me a thousand times before. I went over to Katherine and Angela and asked if they wanted anything from Mario's. Both of the girls gave me their orders. I called up and put in the order. I then called the shop for Cathy's mani-pedi. I heard the girl on the other end say, "Sherri's Nails, Anna speaking, how can I help you?" "Um, yes, I'd like to schedule a mani-pedi on the afternoon of the 14th?" "Okay, just let me check the book. Okay, we're good to go. Is 3 P.M. good?" "Yes. Thank you. That would be perfect." "Okay, and who is the appointment for?" "Ms. Cathy Roberts." "Cathy Roberts?" "Yes." "She's a regular here." "Oh?" "She's never had anyone else call for her. Who are you?" I blushed as I said for the first time, "I'm her secretary." "Secretary! Wow, she's really moving up in the world. About time. Okay, you tell Cathy to come in at 3 on the 14th", Anna replied. "Thank you, and have a good day", I said before hanging up. I smiled as I hung up the phone, but then I looked up and saw Katherine standing before my desk. She dropped a file on my desk and asked, "Can you file this for me, Rachel?" I smiled and said, "Of course I can, Ms. Smith." I took the file, went over to the filing cabinet and put it away. I turned and saw Angela coming towards me she handed me some documents she needed copied and asked if I could do it. I smiled and nodded. I sat at the copier making her copies like a good secretary. I brought them to her, went back to my desk, and started doing some of Cathy's work. As lunchtime approached, I headed for the door. Cathy stopped me before I could get out the door and gave me a ticket and some money to reclaim her dry cleaning. I smiled and said, "I'd be happy to pick it up." Cathy rolled her eyes like I had no choice in the matter and my happiness in doing so didn't matter. I smirked and headed for my car. I drove down to the dry cleaners and headed for the door with a little trepidation. These were going to be the first people seeing me en femme who did not know me. I gulped before I walked in. I smiled and said in a high, breathy voice, "I'm here to pick up some dry cleaning." The woman took my ticket and nodded. She handed me two of Cathy's pantsuits. I paid the bill and headed out the door with a smile on my face. The old woman had not let on that she thought I was a man. That made my day. I then headed to Mario's with renewed confidence. I walked into Mario's with my chest out and my head up and looked around. The place was largely empty except for the staff. The girl working the counter looked at me and asked if I had an order. I told her I made an order under the name Rachel Tyler. Again, no one indicated that they thought I was a man. The girl nodded and got the two bags full of food. I paid the bill, and was later reimbursed partially from Cathy, Angela and Katherine. We all ate our desks like usual. Only now, Cathy was ordering me to get her a soda out of the fridge. I dutifully went and got it for her. If I was going to be a secretary, I was going to be a good one. I opened it and knocked on her office door. Cathy let me enter. I moved towards her and put it on her desk. She smiled at me before I left her office and sat back at my secretary's desk to finish eating. Cathy came out after she was done eating and ordered me to get some files on her desk. I don't know why, but her orders turned me on. My manhood was surging in my pantyhose as I went through the filing draws to search for the files Cathy requested. I brought them in after I found them and placed them on her desk. She looked up as I brought them in and mumbled, "Thanks." I smiled at the small amount of thanks she provided me. I felt more like a secretary than ever. I knew I loved it as much as I had fantasized I would. As my first day as a secretary ended, I felt better than I had in years. I was finally doing what I wanted to do. I went home and pulled into my garage quickly so no one would see me in my skirt suit. I made myself dinner and followed that up with a shower. I put on my pink, satin slip after I dried myself off and sat on the couch. I watched TV for a bit before I turned in that night. After I ate the next morning, I showered and slipped on my black, opaque tights. I dressed in a cream, pleated skirt and a black three quartered sleeve blouse. I brushed my hair and put on my lipstick, eyeliner, and blush. I put on my grey, satin open toed platform pumps. They were my favorite pair to look at because of the crisscrossed straps at the vamp and the 4-inch stiletto heel. It made feel so feminine when I wore them. After I put them on picked up my black leather purse and headed into my garage. I drove to the office eagerly awaiting another day as a secretary. I was finally doing the one thing I always wanted to do and it was making me happy. I couldn't imagine my life getting any better. I saw Cathy as I entered. She smiled at me. I smiled at her and asked, "How are you, Ms. Roberts?" "I'm good, Rachel. How are you enjoying your new position?" "I love it. I can't believe I get to do it." Cathy smirked and said, "Well, maybe you should stay there a little longer." I nodded before I realized what she meant. I asked, "How much longer do you have in mind?" Cathy shrugged and said, "A few years." "Years?" I said with shock. "Yes. I think that's how long it will take you to get this out of your system." "I can't do that, Ms. Roberts. The business needs its leader." "I can lead it, Rachel." "I know you can, but I need to make sure it's run profitably." "If that's your problem, let's draft up a clause then that's let you take the company back over if its profitability drops." "Well...." I said before trailing off. I knew she had me where she wanted me. She wanted to be the boss. She was exploiting my weakness. She was using my desire to be a secretary for her own ends. She was positioning herself. She was going for the kill I smiled and said, "Let's make a deal." She smiled and pointed to the conference room. We sat at the table and started hammering out the deal. We each had offers and counteroffers. We first settled on the length of the contract, which would be two years. She would run the company for two years, and I would be her personal secretary during that time. I would have the right to terminate her and resume my old position if the corporation's profitability declined by more than 10% from its current amount, I was terminated, or if I decided to sell the company. The last part was a sticking point. She did not want me to have that power because it gave me an out. I saw it as a protection against abuse. I eventually persuaded her that the out wasn't much protection because it would result in me losing my company and the position I wanted in it. We then limited Cathy's powers. She was prohibited from selling the corporation's assets. She could only spend the money the corporation made. Other then that, her position was invested with all the powers I had exercised. She had near despotic control over the company. As we finished haggling over the terms, she asked me to type up the contract. I went over to my desk and typed up the contract. I presented it to her when I was finished. She looked over the terms, and they met her approval. She signed the contract and pushed it over to me. I looked at it for a few minutes as I ran through what I was really doing. I was giving up control over my business for two years. For two years I would be living out my fantasy whether I wanted to or not. With a hint of trepidation, I signed the paper. Cathy took it away from me and placed it in the safe in what was to be her office for two years. Cathy then stood up. We walked out of her office and towards Katherine and Angela to tell them what we had agreed to. They looked stunned as they heard Cathy's words. Angela looked at me with a look of fear in her eyes as she said, "You signed a contract putting Cathy in charge for two years?" I nodded. Angela leaned back in her chair. Katherine smiled at me and said, "Well, it'll be nice to have you as one of the girls around here, Rachel." Angela still looked concerned. Katherine smile faded as soon as Cathy started to speak again. Katherine realized that we all wouldn't just be girls in the office. Cathy was clearly marking her territory to show her dominance. We all knew a serious change was coming the minute that Cathy said to them, "Girls, since my position as your supervisor is secure, you will all be calling Ms. Robert's from now on." The girls and I nodded in acceptance. Angela looked at Cathy with worry in her eyes. She later confided in me that she figured that she had just witnessed the trade of an easygoing boss for a taskmaster. To some extent, she was right. Cathy was far more demanding of Angela and Katherine than I was. They both became much more productive as Cathy laid into them in a way I was far too meek to do. Of course, their clerical work increasingly became mine after that until the increased profits they created funded the hiring of a secretary for them. After Maggie, the new secretary, came on board, I was simply Cathy's personal secretary. Other changes were more immediate for me. After my first week, I noticed my pay had been slashed down to what Cathy's had been. I went to her office to ask her about it. I knocked on the door and waited for permission to enter my former office. I cleared my throat and asked, "Ms. Roberts, I notice my pay has been cut. I would like to know why?" Cathy looked at me with a peeved look in her eye. She said, "Rachel, have you looked at yourself lately. You wearing a grey skirt suit not a businessman's suit anymore. You're wearing 4-inch heeled, black and grey pumps. You're a secretary now, not the boss. That's what secretaries make. You wanted to be one. I can't pay you what I pay Katherine or Angela. Deal with it. I get to set the salaries around here, and you make much more than minimum wage. So I wouldn't complain if I were you, or I will dock your pay, Rachel." I nodded submissively and said, "I'm sorry for wasting your time, Ms. Roberts." I walked out of her office and back to my secretary's desk with a powerful erection in my tights. A certain sexual excitement came with each weekly check from that point on as I dealt with that further reminder of my new position. I got secretaries pay while Cathy, now, made more than Katherine or Angela for the first time. The reduced salary was just part of my reduced status in life. I had usually paid out the company profits to myself in the form of a bonus, but Cathy decided to put an end to that. She reinvested the funds into the Corporation to grow it. This was a dramatic change in my financial status. I no longer had the money to support my home. I had the money in the bank to easily pay for it for two years, but I saw no reason to spend down my saving to keep it. I put my house on the market and sold it for a substantial profit in a short period of time. I then rented an apartment I could afford on my secretary's salary. The apartment was about a sixteenth of the size my former home. I had to put almost all of my male clothes in storage because I only had enough room for my female clothes in my closets. The loss of my masculine clothes resulted in me giving up being a man away from the office. I lived as a woman 24/7. I shopped as a woman, I sat around the apartment in woman's clothing, and I slept in woman's sleepwear. I grew my nails out and maintained a French manicure. I loved the way they looked. They kept from me even being tempted to go out and buy men's clothing. Going out as a male was out given the effort it would require to eliminate the female look my hands were now lucky to possess. My apartment was decorated with a woman's touch too according to my neighbor when she came in and told me a single male lived there before me. She remarked at how dingy they make things look. I shared a laugh with her, knowing that I had always decorated my homes like a woman. I wasn't like a regular man. I was a skirted one. I was a man really in touch with his femininity. It was perhaps my only side. Only my biology makes me a man I suppose. I liked the flowery print on my bedspread. I thought it looked pretty. I liked my pink bedroom walls and rug with white molding around the windows, doors, floor and ceiling. I knew it was girlish, but that was the point. I wanted to drive home to myself for those two years that I was a girl. Not the man I was accidentally born as some cruel joke. My other apartment rooms were painted in pastel colors with reprint paintings on the walls of pretty nature scenes. It all helped me feel like the working woman I was sure I was supposed to be born as. Next, I decided to sell my sports car. I loved that car, but I had bought it to impress women. Seeing as I was now wearing a skirt for two years, impressing women seemed like a lost cause. Not too many women go running after a guy wearing tights, heels and a skirt suit. Men in lipstick don't turn girls on, unless they're Goths. Keeping the car would be a waste. The only person trying to get with me at that point was my neighbor Carl. I thought his attempts at wooing me were cute, but I have no sexual attraction to guys. Still, I had to struggle to make it clear I had no interest in him, after I initially flirted with him despite my disgust at the thought of being with him. He just wouldn't take no for answer though. One day, Carl came to me in the lobby and asked, "Rachel, would you like to go out sometime?" Now, I had turned this man down more then a few times so I finally decided to lay a bomb on him. "Carl, it's not you. It's me. I'm a lesbian." He looked at me cross-eyed. Unfortunately, so did another neighbor, an older woman who was a terrible gossip. Soon after, she made sure that I was the Dyke of 4b. Carl let up after that. We were friendly, but I got the feeling that Carl was like a number of the other guys in the building and was just interested in seeing me with 'another' woman. I did eventually put my sports car up for sale, and Cathy of all people told me she wanted to buy it from me. I sold it to her for a fair price and bought a new red, Honda Civic and some new clothes with the proceeds. I came to regret selling it to Cathy though. Every day, I was reminded of my status when I came into the parking lot in my Honda and saw my old foreign sports car in the Boss's parking spot. I would look at it as a reminder of what I had given up every time I saw it with that novelty license plate reading 'KATHE'S.' It was tough until she had my old car painted pink. I felt violated when I first saw it. The car I had bought to impress women, would now result in a man being a laughing stock if he drove it. I knew that I could never drive it again as a man until I had it repainted, if Cathy was willing to sell it back to me in two years. I had to let go of it, I figured. That sports car was a part of me that was gone. It was my phallic substitute that was gone and was now more suiting of Barbie than a man. So was my ever-increasing wardrobe. I was sitting on a fortune, so I never passed up the opportunity to by a skirt, dress, blouse or pair of heels I liked. My closets were literally overflowing with women's clothing. I had casual dresses for when I went shopping. The only pair of pants I had was from my lone my male suit that I kept in case of an emergency that required Robert to show up. I loved going to work as Rachel. By the end of the day, I always hated my heels, but at the beginning of the day, no matter if my heels were grey, black, blue, purple, white, tan, red or brown, I loved to look at them on my feet. The uneven pressure on my feet with every step just cemented my female status. There were more employees around me seemingly by the week. The office grew more and more crowded as Cathy kept growing the company. The reduced profitability clause looked like a joke as we started to taking in more money than ever before and our profitability grew in kind. It reached the point where we even had to move into a new office to accommodate the new staff. That was an odd feeling. I was leaving the office I had started the company in to be a secretary in the company's new office. When we got to the new office, I didn't even have a key to the executive suite. Only Cathy did. Her office was her office. It was never mine. It was larger than the one I had been in. There was no question in my mind that it was her office, unlike the one back at the old workplace. As the company grew, Cathy's tasks for me did as well. I was increasingly taking her calls and screening them. She was handling so much more business than I had. She had so many meetings that had to be set up and calls to take. I was getting increasingly taxed as her secretary. Cathy knew it and decided to hire another secretary for herself. Meredith, the new secretary, handled Cathy's calls, set up her meetings, and arrangements while I was Cathy's' gofer and typist. I picked up her dry cleaning, her lunches and fetched her coffee. I made her copies and helped out the other secretaries that had been hired for the new staff as well as Angela and Katherine. I loved the new secretaries at the office. They were the only one's I didn't have to call by their last names. They had the funniest stories about men they had slept with. I had to fabricate a little in this area, and when Angela overheard me saying one of them, it was more than a little embarrassing. She had to pull me aside and ask me if I was being serious when I was talking to the secretaries about men. I assured her I wasn't. I loved complementing the girls on what they wore. We all did it. Even the women in the higher positions complemented us, and we complemented them. My shoe collection was the envy of the office girls. Speculation often followed my shoe collection. They were particularly directed at how I could afford them. Rumors swirled through the office that I used to be an exotic dancer, a hooker or was secretly a rich girl. I would giggle at the Rumors I heard and dismiss them off hand. None of my fellow secretaries loved their job the way I did. They used to marvel about how happy I looked when I was typing, filing something or even getting my boss coffee. I would laugh to myself about what they would think if they knew the truth about why I was so happy to do it. I'd wager they'd be more likely to be disgusted than understanding of me. At Cathy's meetings, I had to sit and take down the minutes of her conferences with the employees and client. I had to make copies of them when asked. I often felt my most deliciously lowest and subservient as a secretary when Cathy would order me to get coffee for the clients that were strangers to me. To them, I was just a secretary without a name worth remembering. I liked that thought. It only bothered me when a man I had known as Robert showed up for a meeting with Cathy. His name was Ryan. We had known each other back in high school on the other side of the country. I couldn't believe that he had moved to where I was. Cathy picked up on my nervousness immediately. I think she sensed that I knew who this man was. As he was seated at the conference table I was sitting at to takes notes at, she asked, "Mr. Jenkins, would you like a coffee?" "That would be nice", Ryan replied. Cathy looked at me and said, "Two coffees, Rachel." I slowly stood up. I felt wobbly in my heels for the first time. I walked towards the coffee maker in the back of the room. Cathy couldn't help but say in a level I could hear, "Don't mind her, Mr. Jenkins. She's a nice girl, but she's a little slow." I bit my lip and went about pouring Ryan and Cathy a cup of coffee each. I made Cathy's up and then I said to Ryan, "What would you like in yours, Sir?" "Just milk", he replied. I put in the milk and carried the cups back to the table. I approached Ryan with trepidation. He barely looked up to notice me as I placed his cup before him. They both thanked me, and I took my seat at the table. As they hammered out the deal I was taking notes on. I kept seeing Ryan look over to me. I was sure he knew who I was. When the deal was through, he came over to me and shook my hand. He looked me in the eyes and said, "Have we met before?" "No", I said as I shook my head. "Were did you go to school?" "Around here", I lied. Ryan shrugged and said, "Well, it's nice to meet you. I hope Cathy doesn't run you too ragged." Cathy smiled and said, "The girls around here have it too easy." Cathy motioned Ryan towards her. She showed him out of the conference room. As they left, Cathy seemed to give me a look that showed she took great pleasure in making me feel my position in the company. I was a little conflicted that her efforts aroused me so. I felt good when she would drive home the point that I was only the secretary that all of the new employees thought I was. That was part of what trouble me about the growth around me. Only Katherine, Angela, and Cathy knew who I really was. Every one else just knew me as one of the girls. I was not only one of the girls, I was a secretary. I called most of the corporation's employees by their last names. There were male employees now. Some of whom were managers. I was a little concerned by their presence at first, but eventually I got used to it. They were all perfect gentleman around me and the other girls. They did occasionally get a little stuck up around me and condescending because I was a secretary, but that was par for the course. They never really pushed to hard on me because of my position as the highest boss's secretary. I'd fetch them coffee on the occasion, give them files, file their files, and they'd thank me and complement my appearance. As much as I wasn't turned on by the men, I was turned on by their complements. I liked being desirable by men even as I simultaneously was disgusted at the thought of being with them. The new employees didn't even know the company was owned by a Mr. Tyler. They only knew that Cathy was the boss, and I was Rachel Tyler, her secretary. I had overheard that a few employees thought Cathy was the majority shareholder. That made sense as an assumption. She was the boss. No one would think that I really owned the company unless they knew it. In the eyes of our clients and most of the corporation's employees, Cathy was the boss. Many of our clients knew her in that role. I had avoided them, but she sought them out. I'm sure more than a few of them believed she owned the company. Yes, Cathy had sure made it difficult to get rid of her. The growth of the company had changed my circumstances as well. I can't see how I could ever come back and explain my absence or that anyone wouldn't know that I was really Rachel. I had girl talked about clothes and shoes with the female employees, and had been complemented on my feminine appearance by the men. How do you explain that you really were a man wearing heels and skirts, who just happens to love them and knows a lot about woman's fashion? How do you explain, that you were a heterosexual man letting men complement your girlish appearance without an issue? How could any of them respect me as a boss after I fetched each of them at least a cup of coffee or two during those two years? How could I go in there and establish my authority after being talked down to by them? No, it's becoming increasingly clear to me that my only options are to sell the company or stay on as a secretary. A majority share holding secretary. Cathy has me right were she wants me. I'm trapped in the role of her secretary and secret employer unless I want to give up my company. I really should hate her for it, but I can't. She's given me something I can't let go of. As much as the heels kill my feet, I really can't deny it. I can't run from what I am now. I am Rachel Tyler, secretary, and I am exactly where I want to be.