Amy 9: Say Hello To Your Friends! free porn video

Amy 9: Say Hello to Your Friends! by Amy Komori The original characters and plot of this story are the property of the author. No infringement of pre-existing copyright is intended. This story is copyright (c) 2010 Amy Komori. All rights reserved. Chapter One: The Care and Feeding of an Amy "Amy?" I was lying on the floor in my room doing my homework. It was Saturday afternoon, and I was aching to be sucking in some fine fall air down at the skatepark, but I'd started 9th grade at Delacroix High School just a few weeks before and I was swamped with work. I hadn't remembered having so much homework when I was a guy going to high school but apparently things had changed in the interim. Well, that was only fair since so had I. "Amy?" It was Emily, leaning in my door. "What?" "Have you been using my razor?" "Uh..." Shit. Yes, I had. There was no point in lying; Emily usually saw right through even my cleverest deceptions. "Yeah, I kinda did..." "Kinda? You should've asked me first, Honey Bunny. Or better yet, get your own, okay?" "I-I... really was hoping... you wouldn't notice." "Why are you hiding this?" What a question. I hated when people asked questions like that, because they made you ask yourself that question and the answer was usually something you didn't want to dredge up from deep inside. To dodge thinking about it I said, "I just... I don't know." Emily came into my room and sat on my bed. "Dude, don't sweat it. Just get your own razor. These blades aren't exactly cheap." "Okay. Sorry. Really, I am." "How long have you been shaving your legs?" I shrugged. "It's all right, Honey Bunny. If you want to shave your legs and stuff, it's totally cool. I'm just kinda interested because you're like my ongoing project." "Well, I've been doing it since just before school started. Gina and Sarah both do it. So I just thought maybe I should, too. To fit in." "Since when do you care about fitting in?" "Apparently since I started shaving my legs." "Okay," Emily said. "I just want you to know you can come to me if you have any questions about this kind of stuff, okay?" "I wanted to, but you're never around these days." "Yeah, yeah. I have classes and things are just so hectic now. Also a pretty large and ever growing population of stupid friends who I hate. Anyways, I have been giving you lots of thought, so I have lots to tell you. About you. Who you're becoming. What you're becoming. And what you've become, too." "Oh." I frowned. What I had become was something I was prepared to deal with, but this new idea of becoming instantly had me on guard. Wasn't I me already? The new me? "Anyways, I think it's totally cool you're exploring this side of yourself." "You got pissed at me before." "That was different. I-I don't know what that was. Besides scary. This is cool, Amy. This is you being you." "Yeah..." "I mean, I know some girls in my art classes who don't shave their pits or legs. To me, that's kind of gross but you know?whatever. If it doesn't like affect me personally, then I'm cool with just about anything someone does. Whatever floats your boat and all. But if you like doing it, then go for it." "It's kind of a pain in the ass though and I don't have like lots of hair or anything. God, I could imagine doing this when I was a guy. It would've taken all day." "I don't remember you being all that hairy." "My legs were. Oh! And I cut the shit out of my ankle." I rolled up my jeans cuff and showed her all that remained of what at the time seemed like a deep gash?just a thin white-ish line almost lost in the general tan of my skin. "Can I ask you something?" Emily said after inspecting my micro-scar. "Yeah, of course." "I was just wondering..." Emily started, then thought for a moment. "Is it that you want to be a girl now? I mean, is that what you want out of life?" I squinted, thinking about it. "I'm not sure. When I first changed I thought I'd stay a guy inside, but now I don't know. I thought before I was this totally open-minded guy, but when my dick kinda... turned into a vagina and I de-aged and stuff, I really felt ashamed. Like becoming a girl, especially a girl kid, was shameful." "That really sucks, dude. You don't feel that way now do you?" Emily looked a little like she was bristling, right on the verge of getting angry with me. "No. In fact, I feel pretty bad for... um... feeling that way about it," I said, and Emily visible relaxed. "I mean, I desperately wanted to stay me more than I wanted to stay a guy, I think. I don't know. It's kinda muzzy now. Plus, that point is pretty moot, huh?" "Well, you may not wanna hear it, but you've got a different brain now. I wonder if your thoughts still go the same way as they did. I kinda... doubt it." "I'm the same person. I still remember everything from before, all the way back to when I was a baby. I still like the same foods and stuff." "Not hardly. Not any more than I'm the same Emily I was when I was a kid. And you did it in reverse." "Yeah..." What Emily was suggesting might have upset me pretty severely if she'd said it another way, but somehow it came out just right and I totally understood what she meant. So, weirdly enough, at the moment I didn't feel as bad about that different brain/different person concept. I'd grown up, grown down, changed physical sex. I was still a version of me, but a different me in the way an adult has a continuity to the child or in my case, practically vice-versa. And as I grew, I'd become yet another version of me, just as I would have eventually if I'd stayed Martin. She added, "You've probably gone through a lot more changes than either of us fully realize. I mean, you also have to factor in different genetics and hormones and the age reduc?holy fuck?puberty all over again. Now that I think about it, I'm actually really impressed with just how well you've held up." "Yeah, like getting arrested and into fights and having such a varied and jam-packed social calendar prove how well I've adjusted." "Fuck that, Honey Bunny. You know what I mean. Okay, so you went off the deep end a few times. You got turned inside-out. And you're still here, still kickin' it. You fuckin' rock." I shrugged, thoroughly embarrassed. "Well, whatever, like I said before, it's totally cool if you want to be a girl now. I mean, it might be a relief or something to let go of your old life. Or?I don't know? maybe you're going to incorporate it somehow, like growing up. Whatever you decide, you know we're sisters to the end." I smiled. We were both wearing our power beads. Emily could totally destroy me with sarcasm and smart ass insults and quips and stuff, but she also had this way of making things feel so right sometimes. Like now. It was like she'd turned on my Easy Bake oven and we were heating a single cupcake with the little lightbulb. I was that cupcake. We were waiting for the batter mixed from the old me and the new to rise into warm, spongy cake deliciousness. All this stuff?my bracelets, my black mesh dress, shaving my legs?would be the frosting on the cupcake, adding to the deliciousness. When I thought about it, I hadn't been into inline as a guy, and I totally loved doing crazy shit with Gina?I was liking her more and more every day?and I was just as happy in guy clothes, too. I'd also come to enjoy talking back to people, and cursing and not giving a fuck about what people thought about me?kinda. While I was being honest with myself, I admitted I did have a need to have people like me and think I was cool and stuff. Oh well, nobody's perfect, as various people often told me in both my lives, not knowing what the fuck they were talking about. I told Emily all that, and she smiled and said, "Fuck yeah, Honey Bunny. Don't be embarrassed about liking what you like. You don't have to explain it to anyone or justify it. And if you decide you're a girl, then welcome to the team, kid. That's what the world needs?another mean- ass chick. I can't be the only one in town. I mean, I can still be the best one, but you can be like second best. Or maybe third, behind Gina. 'Cause she is pretty awesome." "She is, isn't she?" I rolled over on my back and stretched out on the floor, some of the loose leaf pages from my homework sliding on the stirring air and disappearing under my bed. Fuckin' Gina, dude. I pressed my palms against the rug and smiled up at the ceiling, just thinking about her. "Do you feel better about stuff, Honey Bunny?" "Kinda. I guess if I do become a girl after all, I'll be cool with it. When this first happened, I swore I wouldn't. Now I'm thinking, why not? It hurts a lot, people aren't even aware of the shit they do to you, but as fucked up as I am, I kinda like a lot of stuff about my life now. You and Mrs. Komori, Gina and Sarah. Skating. Oh yeah, I'm supposed to go to Gina's today to meet this new chick. She's like this amazing musical prodigy or something. I have to be there at 3?" "It's 3:30, dude." My eyes went wide. "No!" "Yes!" I jumped off the bed and grabbed my shoes. "Oh my fucking god, Emily, can you give me a ride to Gina's? She's gonna be so pissed a-and?" "Lemme grab my keys, Honey Bunny. We'll talk some more another day, okay? There's a lot more I want to tell you. I actually have a whole journal I've been keeping, tracking all this stuff and charting it!" The journal thing blew my mind, but on the way over to Gina's, Emily clammed up and would only sing along to the Pixies blaring from her CD player. She made me do it, too. Chapter Two: Our Almost Famous Moment Sarah McAvoy was sitting on some boxes in Gina's garage when I got there. Her face lit up when she saw me and she hopped off and came running out to meet me. "Oh shit, I'm so sorry," I said, wincing. "Is Gina pissed?" Sarah laughed. "Um... only very. Lena is here, too." "The super musical girl?" We went into the garage, which Gina's family mostly used for storage. Anyways, there weren't any cars parked there, just some faded oil stains to show where they'd once been. For now Gina's drum set was against the back wall, in the shade. And in a guitar stand was this amazing guitar, a real Fender Jaguar, with a pink pick stuck in the strings near the topmost fret, at the head. I kind of zoned out on how beautiful it was, black and red and a color that was somewhere between gold and orange, and shiny, with the curves and lines so familiar from Nirvana videos and photos?it was like seeing celebrity in person. My tongue found its way through my teeth and lips and I kind of chewed it softly, breathing funny, just in love with this gorgeous chunk of pure rock aggression. I almost wanted to cry I was so desperate to touch the guitar, but I didn't dare. Time lost all meaning until Sarah poked me in the shoulder and told me to wake up. "Huh?" "You looked like you were hypnotized or something." "That's like the exact same kind of guitar Kurt Cobain played. He played lots of others, but this is like THE guitar." "Oh." Sarah was unimpressed. Not a Nirvana fan. My fingers ached to trace the guitar's smooth, warm finish and I was drawn into a stumbling step towards it, my arm starting to move, but before I could find fulfillment, the door opened and Gina and this other girl burst out. "It's about fuckin' time," Gina said. She had two glasses of Coke or Pepsi in her hands and gave one to Sarah. "I don't get a Coke?" I asked. "I'm your guest." "Late guests get nothing, Mulan," Gina said, and she took a long drink of her soda. Then she added for the benefit of the other girl, "Doesn't she kinda look like Mulan?" "Your mom looks like Mulan," I muttered. "Hi, I'm Lena," the new girl said. Lena had light brown hair, almost blond, and wasn't as tall as either Gina or Sarah, but she was taller than me. Oh well, I was getting used to being the short friend, although I'd finally cracked the 5-foot barrier. Lena had on a floral print button-up short sleeve shirt and flared jeans and some black mary janes with fancy scrollwork designs on them near the toes and I fell in love with them instantly. "Your shoes are so rad," I said. Even I couldn't believe that was the first thing out of my mouth to Lena. "Thanks." "Apparently, I'm Mulan, by the way," I said, cutting my eyes at Gina. "I know who you are, Ko More Ee," Lena said. "I'm trying to ko more ee, too, but it's kinda expensive, huh? Sarah says you're like a big time skater." "Not so big. I wish I were better at it, though." "Sarah says you play guitar, too." I shrugged. "Um... kinda. What else did Sarah say about me?" "She said you were a radioactive mutant. Can you play like a mariachi song or something? I'd love to hear it." I laughed a little like Beavis and Butthead, all tittery embarrassment and looked at Sarah, who was looking on with this admiring expression, trying to encourage me. "Go ahead, you can use my guitar," Lena said. "Um... okay..." I picked up the Jaguar and held it gingerly, then slipped the strap over my shoulder, feeling the weight. Lena had all these tiny buttons pinned to the strap and I wanted to look at them, but three sets of eyeballs were staring at me, urging me to play. Gina had climbed onto the little stool behind her drums, Sarah was back on the box, and Lena was just standing there, her weight on one foot, pleasantly smiling at me. "Hold on a sec," Lena said, and turned on her amp. It popped and I could hear the guitar strings vibrating as I fumbled around. Lena turned down the volume a little. Taking the pick in my fingers, causing the strings to ring a little, I fingered an E chord and strummed it. It wasn't a very pretty sound. Gina burst out laughing. I shot her an angry look and she looked away with wide mischievous eyes, totally unintimidated by me. Inspired by the ride over with Emily, I started playing "Here Comes Your Man" by the Pixies, very unsteadily, watching my fingers the whole time, not daring to look up at Lena. I had never been good at guitar and it'd been about two years since I last even held one. Not only that, but my thin fingers and weak hands proved next to useless in trying to hold down chords. My strumming was pretty unsteady, but at least I remembered to tap the time with my foot. I played through to the first chorus and then stopped, thoroughly embarrassed and blushing. "That was pretty good," Lena said in a tone that didn't exactly convince me she really felt that way. "She sucks!" Gina blurted, sounding way too happy about it. "She... she does not," Sarah protested. "She's just kinda out of practice." I shrugged sheepishly, looked down and said in a small voice, "I kinda do suck." "That didn't sound very mariachi to me," Lena said. She came to me and took the guitar away, lifting the strap over my head for me. She played through "Here Comes Your Man" with the intro riff and the short little solo and by the time she was finished, Gina had joined in on drums and it sounded pretty sweet. Sarah and I both clapped. "Thanks," Lena said, shrugging and not looking at is in this becomingly shy sort of way. "I've been playing guitar since I was like 6. I play piano and trumpet, too." "You're so amazing!" Sarah squealed. Her face was turning dark pink. Lena gave her head a little humble shake, but she knew she as the shit and I could tell. She just had this air holding the guitar, with her fingers forming chords even when she wasn't strumming, the sense she was about her business. Competence. She exuded competence, the same way Patrick did on his skateboard. "Let's play some songs," Gina said in this decisive voice. "Sarah can sing." "What will Amy do?" Sarah asked. "She can be our groupie," Gina said, snickering. I frowned and shrank, feeling teensy, like 2 inches tall. I was totally outclassed here and wished I'd gone skating instead. Then I could've shown off a little. So all I was good for was being the groupie, huh? Suck on this 360, Gina. Why oh why was I crushing so hard on you? The three of them played several songs in a row, just really easy stuff. Ramones mostly, and "Great Balls of Fire" because I'd talked up how cool it was when Sarah sang it. Sarah's voice was so pure and clear; she had the best tone for someone so young, but there was this little hiccup to it, this feeling of someone slightly overwhelmed by her own gift. Gina was okay on drums, her strong suit being energy rather than time-keeping; she actually had a tendency to run away with the beat and Lena kept having to shout to her to slow down a little. And Lena? Lena was just totally amazing. There didn't seem to be any limit to what she could do. Even her mistakes were badass. I just sat on Sarah's box and watched and listened, admiring them so much and feeling smaller and smaller. I wanted to be a part of what they were doing so badly. I thought this was increasingly a metaphor for my entire life. On the shelf across from me I saw some paper and a pen. I hopped off the box, went and grabbed the pen, then sat on the box with my foot up and wrote Sarah's name on the rubber rim of my sneaker in big block letters and then drew a little flower coming out of the y in McAvoy. Chapter Three: Heidi Strikes First A couple of hours later, I had to head home. The cool thing was, Lena said she had an old bass that was her dad's and an amp and the next time I could try playing, too. I looked over at Gina with a wicked look and said, "Groupie, my ass. You can be my groupie, baby." Gina just grinned this big fake grin and shot me double birdies from behind her drums and with that I said my goodbyes and started trotting home, suddenly a little excited about this whole garage jam session thing We could maybe start a band. Gina and Lena? Holy shit! I started laughing. They rhyme! I made up my mind to make a huge deal out of that next time we were all together to get back at Gina for that groupie crack and for calling me Mulan all the stupid time. "What the fuck are you laughing at, Komori?" I stopped. Up ahead were five girls I knew from school. One was Ashleigh Bodine; she was the one who called me out. Three others were nameless, just face-familiar. And the last, the tallest, was none other than Heidi Fleegleman, an up-and-comer in the popularity field. She was a year ahead of me, a sophomore. Then it hit me?these were some of the junior varsity cheerleaders. And Heidi was their boss. You know, the captain. The following year she'd be on the varsity squad and probably finish out her high school career as captain of that, too. "That's her," Ashleigh Bodine told Heidi. Then she looked at me. "We've been looking for you." "How did you know I'd be here?" "Ever heard of a little invention called a telephone? I called your mom." "Oh. Okay, cool, see ya at school, Assleigh." I started walking towards them and they blocked my way. The thing about the junior varsity cheerleaders was Sarah, Gina and I were smoking clove cigarettes behind the gym after school one day during the first week of school when the cheerleading squad walked by on their way to practice. They looked so wholesome and neat in their white t- shirts and blue shorts, their ponytails swinging. I wanted to corrupt them all in a sick way, until they were like the tattooed cheerleaders in the "Smells Like Teen Spirit" video. Fuck yeah-- zombie cheerleaders. Anyways, I apparently said something a little disparaging-- go figure?that got overheard and we got into a pleasantly diverting shouting match and Heidi ended up shoving me against the wall. After that she and I were like mortal enemies or something. And now Captain Fleegleman was right in my face, looking like she wanted to kill me. "I know it was you, Amy," she hissed. "You know it was me, what?" I asked. "You know exactly what I am talking about." "No, I don't know exactly what you are talking about." "The keying? Of my mom's car? Are you trying to tell me you didn't do it?" "I must be, dude. I have no idea what you're talking about. I don't even know what kind of car your mom drives." "You're gonna pay for it, bitch," Ashleigh Bodine suddenly said, her voice kind of shrill. Heidi grabbed the front of my shirt and and put her finger on my nose and I had to go kind of cross-eyed to look at it. I kept waiting for her to press it and say, "Beep," but instead she just pulled me really close and said, "She's right. You're gonna pay for what you did." "If I did it, I'd pay. But I didn't do it, okay?" Heidi let go of my shirt and I shoved through the girls' line. Someone booted me in the ass, not hard but just enough to get my attention. I spun around, seeing red. I wasn't really sure what I was going to do, though. I mean, five against one? No thanks. I turned back around and started walking, my hands in tight little fists. "Yeah, you better walk away," Heidi called after me. "You're gonna let her walk?" Ashleigh Bodine asked, her voice full of disappointment. "We came all the way over here and?" "This isn't over," Heidi said. "So don't think it is, you little bitch." I trembled with adrenaline but said nothing, just kept walking. My heart was pounding. I really didn't want to go through this shit again, the second year in a row. Chapter Four: Music-players Club We practiced in the garage the next weekend and Gina's parents were home and kind of orbiting about. I thought they were hilarious, and Gina's rotund butterball mom brought us sodas while we practiced. And she was super-talkative and embarrassed the shit out of Gina by telling us how when was a kid, the school psychologist told them she had self-esteem problems and maybe developing an interest outside school would give her self-confidence. Gina's folks took her to a music store and told her to pick out the instrument she most wanted to learn. A big-ass drum set it is for the little lady! That really showed me another side of my brash friend and her very bad attitude. It did nothing to ease my futile crush on Gina, so hot with this short, boyish, messy dark hair, all these kick-ass freckles, and firm wiry arms from playing the drums half her life. Anyways, we practiced for a while. Good as her word, Lena had brought this big Peavy wood-finished bass for me to play. I strapped it on and thought I was going to fall over from the weight, just staggered around like I was drunk. "Holy fuckin' Jesus!" I said. "This thing is heavy, dude!" "Okay, here's an E," Lena said and played a string on her guitar. I gaped at her. An E? "What's that for?" Lena gave an exasperated glance at Gina, then back at me. "Tuning. Turn the first tuning knob to match the frequency or resonance or... like make your E vibrate like my E so it sounds kinda like it." She plucked the string again. I concentrated and turned the knob. "Flat, flat, flat, flat, stop!" Lena said, but I'd gone too far. "Sharp, sharp, bring it down." "I can't hear the vibration," I said. "Am I doing this right?" "Here, let me do it," Lena told me and turned the knobs on my bass with one hand while plucking strings on her guitar with the other, and listening. She told me what strings to play while I stood there staring at Sarah and making her giggle. "Your strings are E-A-G-D, okay, Amy?" Lena said. "Yeah, E-A-G-D. Got it." "I lose patience sometimes, so I'm sorry I was kinda snappish. I forget not everyone has perfect pitch or an ear or whatever. You know?" "Yeah." "We'll work on it. Okay, all done!" "Okay, what do we play first?" I asked. Lena was already noodling away on her guitar and Gina was doing a little roll on the snare. "Um..." Gina said. Then she giggled a little like Butthead and started imitating him in this deep-ish voice. "Let's play like, some Motley Crue and then some Metallica and after that like maybe some old Sabbath?" "I-I don't know any of those," Sarah squeaked. Gina laughed really loudly, this huge, braying laugh, then stopped herself. "I'm just messin' with ya, dude. Amy, since you're like the newest member and the worst, you should pick. What do you know?" "I know like... one Pixies song and I already played it for you and you made fun of me, so fuck you." "Let's do this," Lena said and she started playing "I Just Want to Have Something to Do" by the Ramones. Gina and I instantly recognized it and joined in. Lena had to come over to where I was standing so she could point to the correct notes for me and Sarah just looked lost and sad and not singing. "Come on, Sarah," Lena said. "But I don't know that song," Sarah said. "No prob," Lena told her and started singing the words. Sarah nodded, then joined in all haltingly at first, missing the beats and meter but rapidly growing in confidence until we'd actually played it all the way through five times. The fifth time was pretty passable, despite my almost constant mistakes and Sarah's dropped words. Lena covered for us pretty well with her loud, aggressive playing. "Okay, I think we can all handle that," Lena said. "I'll teach ya some more songs you can learn." Because I was pretty raw and kept screwing up, Lena had us try out some punk stuff, like more Ramones, Buzzcocks, Sex Pistols and anything with as few chords as possible?like early the Who and Kinks-- which probably drove Gina's folks insane. As they say, no good deed goes unpunished. This kind of music wasn't Sarah's strong suit, but she bore up pretty well and it was hilarious as hell hearing her try to wrap her lovely pure alto voice around Joey Ramone and Johnny Rotten vocals?Lena and I had to keep teaching her the words. I actually sang on the Who songs we did and one version of "Ever Fallen in Love (With Someone You Shouldn't), which was fun and I was surprised to find I had a nice singing voice of my own when I actually tried. The middle part of practice consisted mostly of an argument between Gina and me about how she was always calling me Mulan. Once I'd come to like it?she meant the comparison as a compliment?and she knew I did, just to stay one up on me, she switched to another, less frequently used, name. One I couldn't stand. "That's like the tenth time you've played that line on the wrong string... Claudia Kishi," Gina said. "Oh my God!" Lena cried, laughing. "She does! She totally reminds me of Claudia Kishi!" "What's so funny about Claudia Kishi?" I asked. "Why do you keep saying that?" "Babysitter's Club, dude," Gina said, talking slowly as if I had brain damage or was some super-slow child. "I'm like Kristy, Sarah is Mary Anne Spier and Lena is Stacey?" Lena interrupted. "Sarah looks more like Mallory." "Oh fuck Mallory. She acts more like Mary Anne." Sarah was nodding her head. "But Amy doesn't act anything like Claudia. Plus, Claudia has long hair and does all that artsy stuff and outfits. Oh her outfits!" Now they were all laughing while I stood there totally lost and starting to get mad. They started singing this song Gina explained was the theme to the "Babysitters Club" TV series she loved back when she was in first grade and then they got into an argument about the TV version of Claudia, who was supposed to be Japanese American but Lena thought looked more like Phoebe from "Friends," while Sarah defended her as an early influence on her own life. Then they all agreed the movie Claudia looked more the part but they were disappointed not enough time was spent showing her obsession with making up crazy outfits and wearing them. And neither the TV show nor the movie held a candle to the books. All this was like a totally foreign language to me and while I found a lot of what they said really amusing and laughed a few times, I mostly just stood there wearing a bass that wasn't mine and wishing I'd experienced all this stuff with them. "Other than putting barrettes and stuff in her hair, I still don't think Amy's like Claudia," Sarah said. "Oh, other than being Asian, too. I mean, Claudia's a super-fashion plate a-and?" "Amy dresses like a boy," Lena said. "I mean it's so crazy how many little thingies she puts in her hair, but yeah. Boy. We should do something about that." Sarah nodded cheerfully and they started telling me all this stuff I should be wearing and I started yelling at Gina for bringing up this whole stupid topic, wasting all our time and embarrassing me. She apologized in a snickering sort of way that re-ignited my crush on her and then I was melting and hoping no one would notice and after that, I was totally shivery and defenseless against her so I shut up with my face blazing and my brain and heart all confused and ready to let her call me Claudia or Mulan or Honey Bunny or anything. I did peep, "The kids at the skate park call me Ayumi." But no one heard me. Then Gina counted us off and we tried the song we'd been playing before our Babysitters Club meeting and once again, I fucked up so many times. But it was so much fun and I found myself hopping around and shaking my head so hard one of my barrettes came loose and hit Lena in the face. Chapter Five: A Taste of Cheerleader-Fu Things got very sweaty in the garage. It was early fall, but still hot as hell, and humid. I was so proud of Sarah; she was in good voice that day. She was really more Tori Amos than the rest of us, and we should have tried some things more to her taste because we were all in love with her, but while Lena could probably adapt piano to guitar, I was doing pretty well just to plunk away on one or two stings. And the bass was so heavy, just killing my shoulder. It made my bones feel really flimsy and delicate for some reason. What we all had was sloppy sweat running into our stinging eyes, so Lena bolted. "I cannot fucking take this heat anymore!" she shouted, and disappeared around the corner. We took off after her, because we knew where she was headed: Gina's backyard pool. We caught her, shoved her in fully clothed, then jumped in ourselves. Screaming, splashing, acting like idiots. That first shock of cold felt so good. I came up gasping for air, saw Heidi Fleegleman and Ashleigh Bodine, plus two of the other girls in their group on the other side of the backyard fence, out in the alley. "Amy Komori!" Heidi shouted. "Get your skanky ass over here!" "What's she doing here?" Gina asked us a group. "Oh shit," Sarah whispered to me. "Don't do it. Maybe she'll leave." "Doubt it," I whispered back. I thought this was the perfect time to teach little Sarah a lesson about sticking up for yourself. After all, Gina would have my back, and maybe Lena would, too. Which meant I could go girl-to-girl with Heidi. She was a lot bigger than I was, but I thought if I maybe leaped on her or something I could maybe get her down on the ground and even things up a bit. After all, I'd gotten lucky once before. Anyways, Gina and I climbed out of the pool?Gina had murder in her eyes?and we trailed gallons of chlorinated water across the concrete, then the grass. My clothes felt cool and waterlogged, all heavy and stuck to me. Heidi's nostrils flared and she said something no doubt catty to her friends which I didn't hear, but they laughed. Gina and I climbed over the fence and it was on. No turning back now. "Okay, here's my skanky ass," I told her. "Now when I bend over, you can kiss it." She verbally abused me. The keying incident. The fact that I was swimming fully clothed. Various things about my being a lesbian (and no, my brief rep as the Skatepark Blow Job Queen for all the boys?which Patrick had finally mended somewhat?meant nothing to her on that score), a freak, a bitch, a slut. Then, the main event: "Also, I've decided I'm going to kick your little Japanese ass for keying my mom's car," she concluded. "Oh, and let's make this like a regular thing, okay? I'll be doing this every chance I get until you pay for it." That did it. Taller than me or not (and with those big, firm thighs cheerleaders always get), Heidi was going down hard. I clambered over the chain link fence, landed lightly on the other side and shoved Heidi as hard as I could. Which, much to my dawning dismay, wasn't very hard at all. My last thought before Heidi?her fist looked as large as a basketball as it came towards my face-- popped me one was, "Maybe I should reconsider this whole fighting thing." BAP! The fist smacked my face in an explosion of pain and I closed my eyes and fell under a flurry of slaps and punches. I also managed to get a couple shots in myself as Heidi landed on top of me; she must've had 15 pounds on me (I was skinny) and a lot more muscle from all her dance and gymnastics classes, not to mention that she was one of those "bottom pyramid" girls who held up the others and got to see their undies. This fucking sucked. Everyone, even me, thought I was so tough. I was the girl who'd beaten up a boy in 8th grade. Heidi literally but unintentionally made me eat grass?I mean, she didn't shove it in my mouth or anything; it just got in there and I swallowed some while shouting at her-- made tears run down my filthy face (I was sloppy-muddy now), made me feel helpless as hell as I struggled underneath her. I hated her more than anything in the world, would have called down lightning from heaven to obliterate her, but there were only a few puff ball clouds and they were no help, no help at all. Heidi straddled me across my stomach and pinned my arms, her face looming up over mine like a vengeful sun goddess. "Fuck you," I gasped. She spit in my face. I told her to fuck herself again. "You're going to pay for my mom's paint job," she demanded. "Your mom's blow job? Not... bloody... likely..." Spit. "You are going to-" "I didn't key your mom's stupid car! Get the hell off me!" Where the fuck was Gina? She was my girl, she was fearless and strong?she was being held by Ashleigh and the other two girls. Sarah was just standing there, looking pale and all Lena could muster were a few words of protest. "You keyed my mom's car. I've got witnesses." "Who?" Damn, she was crushing me and I could barely breathe. "I don't have to tell you. You just get me the money by the end of the month, or I will kick the living shit out of you like this every day for the rest of the school year." With that, she got off me. Ashleigh shoved Gina to the ground and backed off in a hurry. Sarah and Lena got me to my feet. I was wrecked, no fight left, breathing hard. Mud, grass, pine straw. I'd been wearing this pink tee with the old Atari logo printed on the front. I fucking loved that shirt, and now it was ruined. I thought my nose was running, but Sarah quickly told me it was blood. I sniffled as we watched the cheerleaders took off down the alley. Just then, Gina's parents came rushing out in an uber-tizzy and took me inside to wash my face. Chapter Six: Oh Bondage, Up Yours! The worst humiliation ever. That's what I felt. Getting my ass kicked by Heidi and being known as the girl who got her ass kicked by the awesome and gorgeous Heidi Fleegleman meant developing this fear-thing, this terrible, idiot feeling that stood right in the middle of my heart and shouted defiance at everything I thought was true and made me feel beyond retarded. I wanted to crawl under my bed and never come out, never face the stupid assholes at Delacroix High again. Being afraid of someone again?and it was worse than with Mike but not nearly so bad as with Darla-- was torture. I kept up a front around my friends, but when I'd pass Heidi in the hall, I couldn't meet her gaze, and my cheeks burned and my heart thrummed like an engine out of tune with itself. Nervousness. My hands would intertwine like they had minds of their own. "I've got something to tell you," Sarah said one day as we skipped off campus for lunch. "What?" "Remember how we were talking about Babysitters Club?" "Vaguely. Do you have like any of those I could borrow so I can understand more about them or?" Sarah nodded. "Yeah, they're for like kids, but I still... I still have all mine. Anyways, one thing about the series was they were always solving mysteries. There were all these extra books that weren't part of the main?" "Go on." "T-the point is I know you didn't key Heidi's mom's car. You didn't did you?" "No. I probably would've told you if I did." "Yeah. I didn't think you did. But I'm... I'm on the case. I'm gonna find out who did do it and as soon as I can prove it, I'm going to tell Heidi's mom." Sarah, silly, sweet Sarah. I felt all warm and squishy towards her, even hugged her and kissed her on the cheek. She turned red and everything she said until we got to Burger King came out in a stammer. As we ate, she kept up this nonstop monologue about Babysitters Club Mysteries and Super Mysteries how she used to always wish she had friends like that and could investigate haunted lighthouses and museum thefts and get lost on deserted islands with them and how into those books she'd been all through elementary school, all without taking a breath. How she could do that and still manage to eat, I had no idea. Maybe from all the singing. Walking back to campus to slip back in among the other students like ninja chicks, we both sort of got off on what a beautiful day it was, not quite summer, not quite fall but something in between and totally awesome. I almost forgot the hum in the back of my mind that was Heidi Fleegleman. We infiltrated the school just in time to hook up with this other girl we hung out with sometime. Her name was Dallas?her parents were really fucked up hippies from the 60s and had named her older sister Heaven?and she was nursing one of her frequent migraines and claiming she wanted to shave her head in time for a quick clove cigarette smoke all together before our next period. I told the girls I'd catch them later, took off and ran right into Heidi?my fear flaring like an orchestra warming up, my heart a timpani-- and some of her friends. They'd been waiting for me. Ashleigh Bodine had a key to the A/V room, so they grabbed me by the shirt and forced me through the door. Ashleigh Bodine stood guard. No escape that way. "What?" I asked, sounding defiant but feeling scared. Someone was dribbling a basketball inside my ribs, apparently. "Here's what," Heidi said. "I've been thinking. I know you're not ever gonna be able to pay me what you owe, so I came up with like this really awesome alternate plan. The football season's just barely started and Julie is having trouble in geometry class. Her mom's making her quit the squad so she can spend more time studying." "Hey, I'm in geometry. How about I tutor her for a small--" "Wow, you're so nice, Amy. Yeah, see, that was a really good try and all, but that's not what I was thinking. Not at all." What she then told me chilled me so much I broke out in goose bumps from the horror of it all. I wanted to vomit. Heidi was absolutely the most evil person I'd ever met in either of my lives. My mouth sort of hung open. Because I wasn't suffering enough after having had my ass handed to me, Heidi decided I would be the dumb chick's replacement on the squad. "But I'll suck! I've never cheered in my life! I don't even... I don't even like cheerleading!" "Everyone knows you're like this hot shit rollerblader. Maybe those skills will translate with some practice." "First off, it's not rollerblading. It's inline skating or just rolling. And second, there's no way I'm doing this! There's no way in hell I'm gonna join your bullshit cheerleading squad. I mean, I'll pay you your fucking money, but you can't make me do that." Heidi pushed me up against the wall, a simple gesture that argued otherwise. "You cuss too much," she said. "We're not even friends, Heidi," I protested. "Do you really want to see me around that much?" "Are you trying to talk me out of, or into, doing this?" "Not only that, she kind of has that Michelle Kwan thing going on," Ashleigh Bodine added, a very thoughtful look on her face. "Or, she will when we've cleaned her up." "Oh yeah," one of the other girls said. "It's like diversity, right? We need like more minority members on the squad. Michelle Kwan here would make us like a Benneton ad." Fuck! Did everyone have to compare me to whatever Asian chick first came to mind? This was getting more than ridiculous. Education time for racist cheerleaders. "Michelle Kwan is Chinese, dumbass. I'm Ja-" Heidi interrupted: "Whatever, Chinese, Japanese, don't know, don't care. You're the dumbass, but we need another body on the squad, so you're it." I had to know one thing: "Why are you doing this?" Heidi smiled. "Because I hate you, Amy. You make me sick. So the second the last bell rings, you better have your ass down on the practice field. Or I'll make you wish you had." She looked down at my sneakers; out of reflex I did, too. Sarah's name stood out there like an accusation. "Why do you have a girl's name on your shoe?" Heidi asked. "I just do." "You'll just have to wear those until you can buy some cheer shoes," Heidi informed me. She smiled sweetly and squeezed my nose and they left. As she followed Heidi out the door, Ashleigh Bodine gave me a weird little look and then I was alone in the A/V room with the VCRS and overhead projectors. I slowly slid down the wall and just sat on the floor, contemplating the ruination of my life. Could they really do this? Make me join the cheerleading squad? The creepy custodian found me and cussed me out. I was too heart-broken to even tell him to kiss every square inch of my ass. Which, come to think of it, was probably a good thing, because later that year he got arrested for having a huge hydroponic pot growing operation at his house and a ton of firearms.