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Back to School Badly By Ingrid Halb Bunnie Toy sat scowling, looking at her shoes. She had wanted to get the calf-high boots with the three-inch heel. At 4'2 and 55 lbs, she was the smallest person in her class, and wanted the extra height to make herself taller. Her foster mother on the other hand had wanted to get her patent leather mary janes and white ruffle socks, which would have made her look like a total baby. In the spirit of compromise, her foster mother had bought her ballet shoe flats with a bow on the toe. She had also insisted that Bunnie wear the plum-colored leggings and black pleated skirt with green blouse. After all, it was important a girl look nice on her first day at a new school. "You couldn't last one day, could you?" Steele asked. The two of them were sitting across from each other, in leather-bound armchairs in front of a large wooden desk. Bookshelves lined the walls except for an oversized television turned to Nickelodeon. Richly carpeted flooring and expensive drapes, gave the room a cultured elegance. Each child had an untouched juice box beside them. Bunnie glowered at the boy. Like her, Steele Strongshaft was in the fifth grade. Unlike her, Steele's trust fund could afford to send him to a private school, while her foster parents shopped at Wal-Mart and sent her to public school. She resented his professionally groomed, short blond hair; his name brand Polo shirt and blue jeans; and his Italian leather loafers. She resented it all, mostly because it was her fault. "I was just experimenting," she said, shrugging dismissively. "Experimenting! You had mesmerized half the boys in your class into changing clothes with half the girls in your class!" "It was a simple investigation on the reversal of gender roles," Bunnie said with a sigh. "Something clearly relevant to our current situation." "Uh huh," Steele said. "Then why did you have the other half of the class naked?" "Well, I needed a control group, didn't I?" she said, raising her hands in the air as if to highlight the obviousness of her answer. Bunnie brushed at a bang that threatened her vision, before crossing her arms angrily. "You're lucky the school called your foster mother instead of the police," Steele said. "Yeah, real lucky," she said with a snort. Everything about this situation irritated her. The clothes she wore, her skinny little arms, her ridiculous mop of hair, but mostly the fact that she was here begging for handouts. Actually, her hair was not that bad. It was an unruly mop, but it was thick and lustrous black. If it was short for the average girl her age, it was only because six months prior she had been a 62-year old scientist named Richard Wilder. "That woman has it in for me!" Bunnie said. "That woman is trying to teach you how to be a proper young lady." "She paid someone to shoot steel barbs through my ears!" "Those are earrings," Steele said rolling his eyes. "And they're normal for a girl your age." "It hurt," Bunnie said with a pout. Steele looked askance at Bunnie. If his mannerisms were a little effeminate, it was partially because he was still a little boy but mostly it was because six months prior he had been Richard Wilder's wife, Dr. Miriam Jackson-Wilder. "Look, Bunnie," Steele said, a hint of exasperation in his voice, "I don't like it anymore than you do, but until we get this corrected, we're going to have to pretend to be a normal boy and girl." Bunnie just scowled. "At least promise me you're not going to experiment on your classmates anymore," Steele said, sighing. "Maybe," Bunnie said warily, "if I can have the theta wave parabolic sensor." "What do you want it for?" Steele asked. "I have some observations to make." "Fine, I'll let you have it if you promise me you won't experiment on your classmates." Bunnie scrunched up her mouth and did not respond immediately. "Well?" Steele asked. "Fine!" she said finally. "Fine what?" "Fine, I promise not to experiment on my classmates," she said, throwing her hands in the air. "All right then," Steele said nodding. "You can have it. But if you go back on your word..." "Who me?" Bunnie said, batting her eyes. All the while, she was thinking there was nothing in her promise that prevented experimenting with people who were not her classmates. *** Jared Anderson sat in his desk prior to Biology class, looking bored as the other students filed in and noisily took their seats. He hated Biology. But then again he hated most of his classes. All he really cared about was football; football and beating up on losers! At 6'4" and with the ability to toss the ball 60 yards and hit a runner full out, Jared was untouchable as far as normal school discipline was concerned. Jared enjoyed high school and his social stature. He liked the stability of the social order and his place near the top. This bred a certain confidence, which left him immune to if not confused by unexpected changes to the normal social structure. "Hello, I'm Ms. Toy," Bunnie said, as she strode in front of the class. "And I am your substitute teacher for the day." Jared thought that this had to be a joke. Bunnie may have been dressed in an adult jacket and skirt suit, with nylons and high heels, but there was no disguising the fact that she was clearly an elementary school girl. "Your regular teacher, Mrs. Halverson, has asked me to demonstrate theta wave asymmetric transference," Bunnie continued as she wrote 'T.W.A.T.' on the dry erase board. This brought a lot of giggles from the class. Bunnie ignored the giggling as she proceeded to set up an apparatus on the teacher's desk before turning to face the class directly. "I will require a test subject to serve as a focal receptor," she said, her eyes immediately focusing on Jared. A small squeal escaped her lips as she rushed up to him and began to feel his biceps. "Yes! You'll do perfectly!" she said, looking up at the seated Jared with a disquieting smile on her face. Bunnie would have skipped back to the teacher's desk if her shoes would have let her. As it was, she clenched her hands excitedly on either side of her face and squealed a second time as she hurried back to the apparatus. "Now hold still while I focus this or we might not be able to switch," she said as she sighted along the device in Jared's direction, twirling knobs and twisting dials. Jared was confused as he watched the odd little girl put a metal ring around her head and plug leads from the ring into the machine. "Are you ready?" she asked him. "There may be some initial disorientation from the height difference. I think you'll find that the heels help. Try to walk on your toes. Oh, and record your impressions and feelings. Remember, this is for science." With that, she pulled a trigger and the apparatus she had set up on the desk began to hum and vibrate. Jared began to feel somewhat muddle-headed and for a brief moment, he had the impression of looking at himself from across the room, but this was cut short by several loud pops and a crackling sound, as well as the smell of something burning. "Crap!" Bunnie yelled, as she began beating on the apparatus. "Crap, crap, crap, crap, crap!" Jared shook his head and gathered his wits as he watched Bunnie try to turn the machine off. It was putting out a lot of smoke now and it was clear that she had burned her fingers a couple of times on the machine trying to turn it off. The fire alarm went off just as actual flames began to come out of the top of the machine. Jared got up to leave along with the rest of the class. "No!" Bunnie yelled. "Don't go! I can fix this!" Jared had had enough. He did not know who this crazy girl was but he did know that he did not want anything more to do with her. Also, a fire alarm was like a permission slip to skip school. A small boom and a serious fireball coming out of the apparatus were enough to send everyone out in a rush. The last Jared saw of Bunnie, was her beating at the flames with her jacket as he rushed out the door. *** Bunnie sat in the booster seat of her foster mother's car. Her hair was slightly singed and her face, arms, and clothes were heavily smudged with soot. Her nylons were torn in numerous places and somewhere along the way she had lost her shoes. She did however, cling possessively to the burned remnants of the T.W.A.T. device wrapped carefully in her jacket and held in her lap. "Really, Bunnie? A fire?" her foster mother asked. "The school system wasn't big enough, you had to go and irritate the fire department?" "Lighten up, Deborah," Bunnie said, "it was an accident." "Don't you 'lighten up Deborah' me!" her foster mother said. "Do you have any idea how much trouble you are in, young lady?" Bunnie just shrugged and stopped listening. She was more concerned with the T.W.A.T. device than anything her foster mother had to say. It should have worked. Okay, maybe she could have double-checked the power leads and an interrupter switch probably would have been a good idea, but she had been so close! That large, muscular boy's body had almost been hers! She sighed, thinking about being a high school boy again instead of being stuck in this little girl body she now held. So close! Maybe if she repowered the core she could pull up the boy's memory foci again. "I am so going to talk to that lawyer again," Deborah said. "I do not get paid enough for this. What were you doing at that high school anyway?" "Experimenting," Bunnie said, as she started to clean off and disassemble the T.W.A.T. device. *** Jared was somewhat bleary-eyed the next morning as he made his way to school. He had not slept well. He was not normally subject to dreams but for some reason he had been kept up half the night by a series of nightmares. These had been particularly vivid with a large threatening 'something' trying to catch him all night. It left him shaken and on edge. His state of mind worried him. Football practice was this afternoon and he hoped he would be coherent enough to remember and perform the plays when called upon. Ever since those dreams, he had been half overwhelmed by feelings of angst bordering on depression. This was not him. He did not normally think this way. "Jared, wha'sup," "Theo, my man!" Jared said, greeting his number one wide receiver. His reply caught in his throat almost as soon as he made it. Something about Theo looked different. He looked... good. "Crazy shit, yesterday," Theo said. "I heard it was terrorists set that fire." "What?" Jared said, distracted by Theo's broad shoulders and big hands. "The fire, dog, you remember, yesterday?" Theo said. "What? Oh, yeah, that was just some chick messing," Jared said. He had never noticed Theo's deep-set eyes before or that squared-off jaw line. "For reals? Well, pretty crazy shit anyway." "Yeah," Jared said. For some reason he felt nervous and tongue-tied talking to his friend. He shifted from one foot to another and avoided eye contact as he reached up a hand behind his ear to play with something that did not seem to be there. "You all right, dog?" Theo asked him. "Yeah, yeah just tired is all," Jared said. He hated the idea that he was saying 'yeah' a lot. God, Theo must think he was an idiot or something. "Well, be ready for practice today or coach will have both our asses," Theo said. "Later, dog." "Yeah, later," Jared said, shaking his head to clear his thoughts when he caught himself looking at Theo's departing backside. "What the hell is wrong with me?" he said aloud. Jared hoped that the weird feelings would go away before practice that afternoon. Instead, they just seemed to get worse. He felt mopey and depressed. All day long, he bounced between the feelings of wanting to be noticed and wanting to meld into the background. The worst part was what Jared came to call 'girly' feelings. He caught himself checking out a few of the guys in his class. And one time, he actually imagined that he had been wearing a bra. It had seemed so real. He actually felt the straps on his shoulders. Changing for football practice was a nerve-wracking experience. He kept worrying that he would have a girly moment at an inopportune time. Fortunately, he managed to suit up without incident. Maybe I'm starting to shake out of it, he thought as he trotted out on the football field and promptly blacked out. Jared woke up and staggered forward, only catching his balance by grabbing hold of the clothes rack in front of him. He knew instantly that something was odd. He was inside. He had been outside. There were clothes racks all around him. He was in a clothes store. This was the mall. What happened to football practice? Jared instinctively looked to his wristwatch. He was surprised to see a small skinny watch on a small skinny wrist, his skinny little wrist. He stared at both his hands in disbelief. His fingers were too slender, with long manicured nails covered with chipped black nail polish. How was he supposed to throw a football with hands like this? There was something wrong with his clothes. They felt funny. Black and white hair fell over one side of his face distracting him as he looked down at himself. Brushing that aside, he looked at his clothes in confusion. The scruffy red Reeboks he wore were the most normal part of his outfit. The semi-opaque black leggings and short white skirt were the oddest. His outfit was topped off by a grey hoodie with pink strings over a red t-shirt. "What the hell..." he said, stopping short to reach up at his throat, surprised at the high timbre of his voice. Jared was starting to freak out as he touched his hair, his torso, his hips and upper thighs. He was having a hard time believing what his fingers were telling him. Looking around in near panic, he spotted the three-way mirror by the changing rooms. He rushed for it, feeling his body move in unfamiliar ways, stopping short to look at the image of the girl staring back at him from the mirror. She was young and very thin. Her hair was long in front and cut short in back. Mostly black, it looked dyed, and had white and pink forelocks along either side. It hung to the left, mostly covering one of her eyes. The eyes were green but heavily outlined in black. She wore too much makeup, and bright red lipstick. She sported piercings on the lip, nose, and eyebrow, as well as at least four earrings on the one visible ear. "No fucking way!" Jared said in that same unfamiliar voice, watching the girl in the mirror mimic his every movement. *** Bunnie had the T.W.A.T. device partially dismantled on her workbench. She was staring down the barrel of the aiming device while flicking on the trigger with one hand. The drive capacitor had come loose. She had been sure that the bubblegum would have held it in place. Apparently, the gum lost cohesion when heated. Maybe if she removed the lower safety shield, she could jam in a bigger capacitor. That would give it even more punch! "Bunnie!" "What?!" she called, turning just as the device fired, sending a beam of energy behind her head and singing her hair. "Supper's ready!" Deborah called. "I'm busy!" Bunnie called back. She looked back at the scorch mark on the wall and sniffed the air suspiciously. "What are we having?" she shouted. "It smells like hair!" "Chicken fingers and french-fries," Deborah called back. Bunnie thought about it for a moment. She could reassemble the T.W.A.T. at any time. There was nothing saying she had to get it done today. "I'll be right there!" she shouted, slapping the housing loosely back in place and brushing the loose pieces into a drawer. She rushed out of the room, leaving the T.W.A.T. device on the workbench. Several of its LED lights were lit green and blinking. *** Jared stood beside the bleachers and watched the football team practice. She was trying not to draw notice, which was easy since very few people took notice of the skinny freshman emo girl. "Jared Anderson," she said, watching the school's star quarterback run through some short pass drills with his receivers. The school was still abuzz about how Jared had a 'breakdown' on the practice field and had to miss school for a week. There had been guest speakers and sensing sessions on dealing with the stress of high school. No one had seemed to care that Jenny Keller had been acting equally weird. Jared wondered if that was Jenny out there in his old body. Or was that 'her' old body? Jared shook her head. It was all so unfair. No one understood the depth of her anguish. Her entire identity had been upended, only to have the hollowness of her previous life held up for admiration by the shallow beings that ran this school, while she suffered alone. Could they not see the hypocrisy? New 'Jared' seemed to be having no difficulties. Jared sighed and threw the Hello Kitty backpack over her shoulders as she turned to leave the football field. She was Jenny Keller now, had been all week, and she was beginning to get the feeling that she might have to be Jenny Keller for the rest of her life. Over the last few days, her reactions to the boys in her class made her think she might be more girl than she cared to admit. The one optimistic note in her new life was that she had started having 'boy' thoughts today. At first she thought they were just more thoughts about boys, and tried to suppress them. But as the day wore on, it became more apparent that she was having thoughts about being a boy. That was why she was skulking around the practice field. She had hoped that closer proximity would trigger more memories and maybe switch them back. Nothing, or even worse than nothing. Watching the young, healthy boys work up a sweat was triggering memories of a different sort, ones that clearly belonged more to Jenny than Jared. She walked in depression. As Jared, she had had dreams of a professional football career. There had already been college scouts and invite letters. His future had been bright. It still was, but now it belonged to someone else. So what was Jenny's future? Jared had never given much thought to career choices for women. All she could think of was nurse, waitress, or secretary. There was also wife and mother, but those thoughts left an acid taste in the back of her throat. She could change her electives to take more of a business track. If she joined the right clubs and maybe volunteered for a few charities to beef up her r?sum?, she could get her grades up enough for a scholarship at a decent school, maybe even Ivy League. Then a law degree, followed by a starter position with a blue chip company. Before too long, he would be on management track with a trophy wife, 2.5 kids, and a mistress on the side. Jared stopped cold in her tracks. Where had that thought come from? *** Bunnie was staring at the T.W.A.T. device. She had been staring at it for about twenty minutes without touching it. It was together again, or mostly anyway. Sure, there were a few parts left over but that was not going to affect anything important. She was sure of it. But the darn thing still was not working right. She had tried recalibrating the acquisition matrix but it would not reload. Maybe if she purged the primary receptor and dumped the acquisition into the receptor feed. Then if she upped the gain, it should be enough to focus on a new target. It could work! Bunnie busied herself for a few hours making the adjustments before holding the T.W.A.T. up in triumph. At last! Success! Of course, it did require a trial run. Bunnie carried the T.W.A.T. out of the lab and set it carefully in the hall facing the family room. The sound of the television covered the slight click sound as machined parts snapped into place. Bunnie carefully aligned the device at her foster mother sitting in the Easy Boy recliner and pulled the trigger. Nothing happened. Oh, right, she thought, and then upped the gain before pulling the trigger again. The results of the T.W.A.T. device were immediately apparent. The television signal cut out. "What the..." Deborah said, clicking the remote futilely. "Bunnie! Are you experimenting again?" Deborah turned around to see Bunnie standing there in the hall beside the T.W.A.T. device wearing a long white lab coat, oversized protective gloves, and safety goggles. "No?" Bunnie said. *** Jared Anderson pulled his Audi into the student parking lot and stepped out. He gave his hair a quick comb and lit himself a smoke before heading towards his classes. Life was good. Oh, sure, he was not 'Jared Anderson', star quarterback anymore. He was not even a senior. But he was male! And a devilishly good looking one, he thought, smirking beneath his Raybans. He was not sure how it happened, but two days ago, he had gone to sleep as Jenny Keller (loser, freshman emo girl), and woke up as Gordon Lacroix (junior in a business track with an eye for a law degree and a management track position in his father's company). And rich! This was great, maybe even better than football. As an athlete, he had a long shot at a short professional career. As the son of a rich man, and a future lawyer, he had the gift of cash that kept giving. And girls! He was beginning to realize that Gordon Lacroix got even more pussy than the star quarterback did. Yes, life was good. Jared's musings were cut short by a pull on his arm. He was half spun and half turned himself around to look at who was accosting him. He was shocked to look down at the face of Jenny Keller. "We need to talk, GORDON," she said, a hint of menace in her voice. *** Bunnie tore through her junk drawer looking for a class II capacitor. She had an idea for a morphic adaptation unit that would react to latent memories. That kind of machinery would let someone generate an exterior physical change that matched the mindset of the initiator. If that worked then she would be able to create a male version of herself based on her memories alone! For that she needed some sort of analog thought capture device and was hoping to find enough parts to build one from scratch. She could ask Steele for funding and pay someone to build the capture device, but then he would go on and on about waiting until the trust fund matures and how it was wrong to experiment on people. Bull cookies! There was no way she was waiting eight years. By then she would be a short woman with big tits. She did not want to be a short woman with big tits. She wanted Steele to be the short woman with big tits. She was supposed to be the tall man with a large penis. Unfortunately, a completely unpreventable event had switched their matrices, so that his wife, Miriam had become Steele Strongshaft while he had been doomed to be Bunnie Toy. Bunnie sat back down at her workbench, sighing in frustration as she brushed her bangs out of her eyes. It just did not seem fair. Why were things always going wrong? Her eyes lit upon the partially reassembled T.W.A.T. device. Oh, hey, she had forgotten about that. Now there was a device with promise. Theta wave asymmetric transference was brilliant! And it had almost worked, too. She thought back to that tall, muscular football player. That would have been awesome to be him! Bunnie held the T.W.A.T. device behind her ear with one hand with the other arm extended as if about to throw a pass. Unfortunately, the T.W.A.T. device proved awkward in her diminutive hands and it slipped, falling to the floor with a crunch noise. "Oh, poo!" she said, retrieving it from the floor. Not too bad, she thought, she could fix this. She began tinkering with the pieces. Maybe she should fix it all the way and take another shot at that football player. The more she tinkered, the more she liked that idea. Morphic adaptation was a stupid idea. It would have to be the size of a phone booth to work. What kind of acronym was M.A.U. anyway? It sounded like the noise a cat makes. A wicked smile crossed her lips, as she made some temporary patches and slapped the T.W.A.T. together again. Clearly, more experimentation was needed. "Here kitty, kitty, kitty," she said, as she carried the T.W.A.T. device and started stalking through the house. *** Jared stood cautiously at the door to the school and looked nervously over his shoulder for any sign of Jenny Keller. He had been doing everything he could to avoid making contact with her. Jared had been Gordon Lacroix for over a month now and was intent on staying that way. If that meant leaving the real Gordon Lacroix stuck as that whiny, depressing bitch, then so be it. It had not been easy. This school was not that big. He had asked his new parents about transferring to a private school and they were surprised at his sudden change of mind on public schools. That caused him to back off. He did not want them thinking we was anyone other than their son Gordon. In any case, it was impossible until the end of the school year. That meant at least another four months of avoiding Gordon/Jenny. "Hi Gordon." Jared jumped at the sound of a female voice. He relaxed when he saw it was Julie Morgan. Julie may have been just a sophomore but she was still one of the hottest girls in school. He had noticed her even before he started changing. "A little jumpy?" she asked, smiling. "Nah, I'm cool," he said, visibly relaxing. Girls were a distinct perquisite to being Gordon Lacroix. They were all over him. Not only were they extremely willing to please the good- looking rich boy, but they also served as a shield. Their competitiveness kept lesser girls like Jenny Keller away from him. He had heard that one of them had even gotten in a hair-pulling, fist- throwing fight with Jenny when the younger girl would not quit. As much as he liked a good catfight, Jared was grateful to have been well away from that. He wished the former Gordon Lacroix would just quit stalking him and get used to being a girl. Maybe she would get a boyfriend and leave him alone. "Good," Julie said. "Hey, I was wondering if you were going to Tyler's party." "Tyler?" "You know, Tyler Martin, on the football team?" she said. "His parents are gone for the weekend so he's having a party. You going?" Of course he was going. Tyler's parties were legendary! As Jared, he knew Tyler, but he did not think Gordon did. He had to figure out an angle to get him into that party. The football team was almost sure to be there. And he really wanted to talk to 'Jared' and find out how he was doing since his 'breakdown'. He had to be careful how he asked it, but he wanted to find out if that was the real Jenny Keller in his old quarterback's body. "Wouldn't miss it," he said. "Taking anyone?" Julie asked. Jared smiled. Julie was clearly playing for an invite. He considered it. It was a step down to go with a sophomore, but she was smoking hot. He admired the low-slung Capris she wore and the equally tight pink rib- tickler she barely wore. The girl was dressed to impress and she was having the desired effect on him. Why not go for it? He always did like blondes. Jared was about to answer when he was stopped by a momentary dizziness. When he looked again at Julie his appreciation of her turned to amusement. Could she be any more obvious? Here she was flapping her tits just to be invited to the social 'highlight' of the shallow people's calendar, a football party. Pathetic. She did not even like him for him, she just liked him for Daddy's money. What a phony! Even her hair, if you are going to color it, why not be creative? And that makeup! Jared could think of a dozen different shades that would be more interesting than that strict adherence to whatever it was she read out of the latest copy of Seventeen. The color drained out of Jared's face when he realized what was thinking. He was thinking girl thoughts! "Are you alright?" Julie asked him, touching him on the arm. Jared flinched at the touch and looked around frantically for any sign of Jenny. "I... I have to get out of here," he said, panic tingeing his voice. "What? Wait! Why? Don't go!" Julie said. But Jared was already walking briskly out the door and heading for the parking lot. He needed to get out of there and get out fast. He was not going to go back to being Jenny Keller. Not if he could help it. He was going to get in his car and get as far away as possible. As he walked, he began to feel bothered by an odd feeling. It took him a few steps to realize the odd feeling was the absence of a bouncing on his chest. That made him panic, which made him run, which made the feeling worse. He was hyperventilating as he reached his car, fumbling for his keys. "I'm not Jenny Keller, I'm not Jenny Keller, I am not Jenny Keller!" he repeated frantically as he got the door open and got in. He had just gotten the door closed and was reaching with his keys to start the car when he was overcome by a severe coughing fit complete with smoke billowing out of his mouth. When he could finally breathe again and his eyes stopped watering, he saw that he was no longer in his car. Instead, he was sitting on the steps by the school's back entrance, near the soccer field. "You going to bogart that?" Jared turned to see who was talking. It was a tall skinny boy with black hair dressed in black jeans, black t-shirt, and black trench coat. He looked like he was wearing eye makeup and had a studded dog collar around his neck. He gestured towards Jared's hand. Jared looked at his hand and saw that what he had thought was his car key, was in fact a hand rolled cigarette of some sort. But more disturbing was the fact that he was wearing a short, fishnet, finger- less glove and his nails were long and painted dark purple. He passed the joint on to the boy in stunned silence and watched as he took a practiced toke before passing it on in turn to a short girl dressed in black and red. There were three other people there, all dressed primarily in black. The Goth kids. He knew who they were. Not their names, but where they hung out, the back steps of the school, by the soccer field, here. He was sitting on the back steps with the Goth kids smoking a joint. Jared looked down and was not surprised to see that he was a girl again. A Goth girl wearing clunky black boots with purple laces, torn fishnet stockings, a black puffy knee-length skirt with a purple belt and a dark purple t-shirt. Long straight black hair with lots of purple highlights fell over his shoulders all the way past his enormous breasts. They were huge and their cleavage was on open display. No, he was not Jenny Keller. He was Carol Hofstra, aka Crazy Carol, aka the Purple People Eater. He was the crazy Goth girl with the big tits that always dressed in purple, the one everyone said was a lesbian. He was stunned, and when the joint came around again, he took another toke without thinking, not overly surprised at leaving purple lipstick marks on the roach. *** "Well hello Inspector Turtle. What brings you here today?" Bunnie said in a lyrical voice, she was holding a toy bear in her right hand moving it back and forth, as she spoke. "Hello, Dr. Bear," she said, waving a toy plastic turtle in left hand as she spoke in a deeper tone. "I am here because of strange things going on." "Oh, won't you come in and have some tea," she said, once again moving the bear. "And you can tell me all about it." "All right, Dr. Bear, but I warn you I have the full weight of the law behind me," Bunnie said in the deep voice she used for Inspector Turtle. "But I am just a simple scientist, do not fear me," she said as she walked the toy bear and turtle to the other end of her workbench. A plastic tea service was set there with two teacups on top of a shoebox with two doll chairs set around it. "Now then, won't you have some tea?" with that she sat the bear and turtle in the doll chairs and poured imaginary tea from a plastic teapot into the cups in front of them. She held the cup to the turtle's mouth before she spoke again in the deeper voice. "This is excellent tea, Dr. Bear," she said. "But I still have questions." "Of course, Inspector Turtle," she said, "but please, have a biscuit first." With that, she held a chocolate chip cookie to the turtle's face. "Num, num, num, num, num," she said. "Excellent biscuit, Dr. Bear. But I still need to ask you about Barbie." "Oh, you mean this Barbie!" Bunnie said, pulling a towel away to the right, revealing a naked Barbie doll wearing an eggcup on her head and secured with copper wire. "You monster! What have you done to her?" she said in her turtle voice. "She is my greatest experiment!" Bunnie said in the lyrical bear voice. "And you will help me finish!" "I must stop you!" she said in the deeper voice. "You can't! You've been drugged!" "It was the tea, wasn't it?" "No! It was the biscuit! Now it is time for you to become Barbie!" "You monster!" "Mu wa ha ha ha ha ha!!" Bunnie said as she fired the T.W.A.T. device at Inspector Turtle. "Oh, no! I am Barbie now!" she said in a very high voice as she moved the doll. "Yes, and now you are my slave!" she said in her Dr. Bear voice. "No, no, no! Yes! I will do whatever you say," she said in the very high voice. "All right, Inspector Turtle, or should I say Barbie? Now we will get you dressed." "Bunnie!" Deborah yelled from the other room. "Are you experimenting? The television's out again." Bunnie looked anxiously at the tea party she had set up. She was wearing a dress and hat she had taken from Deborah's closet, along with some gloves and shoes that did not fit, but felt grownup. "Yes," she called out in haste. "Yes, just me experimenting." "Well, stop it!" Deborah called. "I want to watch my shows." "I want to watch my shows," Bunnie repeated in a high nasal voice. "What was that?" Deborah called. "Nothing," Bunnie called. *** Jared sat on the back steps with the other Goth kids and stared defiantly as students walked by. People were idiots. Especially boys. Every one of them was just a liar, horn dog, poser. She had found that out quickly. Her first reaction after the change had been to hide her assets and maybe ease off the Goth and purple colors a bit. Nobody took her seriously. So called 'normal' people treated her like a freak or thought she automatically wanted sex. She knew she was big up front, especially for high school. At a large D or small DD she seriously hoped she had stopped growing. But really, she had a brain too. Two months of being Carol Hofstra may have been enough for her to start coming to terms with being physically female, going through two menstrual cycles tended to have that affect on a person, but it was not enough to fully embrace the idea that she was now a girl. Not that anyone else at school had any trouble defining her as a girl. The reactions of her male classmates and teachers were consistent enough for her to start considering boys as an opposite sex, if not the opposite sex. Perverts all, not one of them could consistently make eye contact with her. In response, she had decided to flaunt it. Carol's wardrobe led Jared to believe that the real Carol Hofstra had probably come to a similar conclusion. If people were going to treat her as an outsider freak, then let them do it on her terms. Besides, she was beginning to like purple. She might even get another tattoo, her fourth. Well, her body's fourth, Jared's first. She was thinking of something to signify transformation, but still Goth. Her first thought had been for a death's head moth, but that was a little too 'Silence of the Lambs'. Gordon Lacroix walked by, his latest blonde conquest on his arm. Jared was not sure, but she thought he might have nodded in her direction. "What a phony," one of the Goth girls in her group said. Jared muttered her agreement, but for entirely her own reasons. She was pretty sure that Gordon Lacroix was in fact the real Carol Hofstra. If so, then Gordon was a true enigma. He had not attempted to contact Jared, had in fact gone out of his way to avoid her. Jared had wanted to stay in close contact with Carol in the hopes of switching back. That had proved socially awkward and over time, the two settled in to their new respective cliques with no further contact. Jared sighed in wistful regret. She had enjoyed being Gordon, with money, girls, and a future. It was apparent that the real Carol was also enjoying being Gordon. The new Gordon was if anything, even more of a womanizer than Jared had been. That made sense if one believed the rumors of Carol's sexuality. If she had been a lesbian, then being transformed into Gordon Lacroix with girls throwing themselves at her feet, might make her reluctant to switch back. That made sense for new Gordon, but what did it say about her? For Jared was certain about one thing after being Carol Hofstra for two months. New Carol was no lesbian. She was amazed at how her body responded to male attention. She had fought it for a long time but lately had tried letting a few boys do more than look. Nothing more than second base as yet, but she was wondering what more would be like. Damn it! If she was going to be stuck as a girl, and it was beginning to look like she was, then why not go all the way? With the proper precautions, of course. And it would have to be with the right kind of boy, no losers or phonies. It would have to be with someone who made her laugh, who saw the absurdity of cliques and high school life. Definitely someone who saw her as more than a fabulous pair of tits. Maybe Erik Warner, she thought, he was cute. Or maybe Kyle Pennefeil, he was sort of Goth, Goth friendly anyway. Of course Erik hung out with a more proper crowd and his parents were active members of the PTA. Kyle on the other hand was likely to be future trouble. Rumor had it he was involved with drugs, which would not do. Clearly, it was much more important to consider the parents' reaction, what with local elections coming in the fall. The school budget did not need another scandal. Jared brought herself up short with that thought. Why was she thinking of school budgets? *** "Happy Birthday to You! Happy Birthday to You! Happy Birthday dear Bunnie, Happy Birthday to You!" Bunnie looked at the cake in front of her with mixed emotions. On one hand, it had eleven candles on it, which meant she was one year closer to the fate she had planned for Miriam. One year of wasted efforts and failed experiments. On the other hand, it was chocolate. "Go ahead, Bunnie," Deborah said. "Make a wish." Bunnie blew out the candles, wishing for a new thermo-coupler for her nitrogen input manifold. Everyone applauded when she succeeded in blowing out the candles. It was a small party. Deborah was there, as was Steele and his lawyer. Bunnie had Dr. Bear with her. Inspector Turtle was under restraint back at the workbench awaiting further experimentation. Deborah had urged Bunnie to invite classmates, Bunnie wondered why. "Here you go, Bunnie," Steele said, handing her a gift. "I hope you like it." Bunnie tore through the wrapping and opened the box to pull out a new micrometer relay switch. "Oh hey, this is cool," she said. "I can really use this. Thanks Steele." "You're welcome, Bunnie," he said, a big smile on his face. "I got you this, Sweetie," Deborah said, handing Bunnie another gift. "Steele helped me pick it out." Bunnie tore through this wrapping and pulled out a new thermo-coupler for a nitrogen input manifold! "Do you like it?" Deborah asked nervously. Bunnie's eyes glowed as examined her gift. "This... is... awesome!" she said. "Really?" Deborah asked. "You really like it?" "It's the best present ever!" Bunnie said. "Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you. Thank You!" "I'm glad you like it," a rather startled Deborah said as Bunnie wrapped her arms around her foster mother's neck. "It's perfect!" Bunnie said, giving Debora a kiss on the cheek. "Thank you!" "You're welcome," Deborah said, astonishment in her voice. The rest of the party was short. Of course, everyone stayed for cake, but Bunnie was too excited about her presents to socialize for very long. Before too long, Bunnie was back at her workbench hooking the thermo-coupler up between her T.W.A.T. device and a liquid nitrogen source. She had a malicious look on her face as she turned the T.W.A.T. towards Inspector Turtle who was restrained by electrical tape. "So, Inspector Turtle," she said. "You thought you had bested me! Well, learn the folly of defying me! Mu wa ha ha ha ha ha!" In the other room, Deborah sighed as her television went to blue screen in the middle of 'Two and a Half Men'. "I probably should have predicted this," she said aloud to no one in particular. *** Jared looked out the window of his office and let a long sigh escape his lips. He was still the vice-principal. It was a week past graduation and he was still the vice principal. Given all that he had gone through this year, still being the vice-principal was progress. He was Mark McKenzie. He was the vice-principal. This school depended on him. Sure he was 34 years old, whereas before he had been an 17 year old student, but at least he was male. Not an ideal solution, but one that worked. Especially when he considered how close he had been to giving in to feminine urges. It still made him shudder now, even four months later. He was probably going to need therapy for years to come. Thank God for graduation. At least two of his problems were gone. His original body, Jared Anderson the quarterback, was graduated and with a football scholarship was expected to eventually start for State. Kind of an iffy choice for a would-be professional athlete. The 'breakdown' and shaky recovery play after the switch, probably limited his options. Carol Hofstra was also gone. That one was messier. The old vice- principal as 'Carol' had a serious freak out and her parents had pulled her out of school early. Jared had tried to keep track of her. Last he heard, she was enrolled in the local community college, trying to make up her high school credits. All that Jared cared was that she was far away from him. That just left Gordon Lacroix and Jenny Keller to deal with. Lacroix was no problem. The boy was actually enjoying his new status. Jenny was another matter. Even after seven months, she was still a moping, depressive mess. Jared did not look forward to another three years of her being in his school. Jared sighed again. Next year was going to be a bear. Of course, if he practiced over the summer he might be able to really nail that standing back flip like coach wanted. And if his boobies grew over the summer, like he hoped they would, he just might be able to make the senior cheerleader squad. It could happen, he wouldn't be the first sophomore to make the team. He was a way better cheerleader than that slut Alicia. Jared's eyes grew wide when he realized what he had been thinking. *** "Why are you here, Bunnie?" Steele asked. The two children were back at Steele's house, in the TV room. Bunnie was drinking from a juice box and tapping the toes of her boots together as she sat watching cartoons. Deborah had finally gotten her the boots she wanted; the calf-high ones with the three-inch heel and she took every opportunity to admire them. "Just visiting," she said, reaching for another cookie. "Do I need a reason to visit my favorite... person... friend... wife?" "Uh huh," he said. "Why are you really here?" "Fine, Mr. Smartypants," Bunnie said. "Here. I'm returning your theta wave parabolic sensor." Bunnie handed Steele a bag of parts. Steele looked suspiciously inside the bag before pulling out a chunk of circuitry with wires dangling off. "What did you do to it?" he asked. "Just a few experiments," she said, defensively. "It looks like you were trying to build an asymmetric transference device." "No," Bunnie said, rolling her eyes. "That would be stupid. Besides, it didn't work." Steele looked at Bunnie as if he wanted to ask her a question, but just shook his head instead. "It's a good thing you weren't," he said. "The expected result would have been disastrous." "Yeah, disastrous," Bunnie agreed, and sat looking thoughtful for a while. "Hypothetically..." she said. "And just so I can see whether or not you agree with me, what exactly sort of disastrous results would you expect?" "Well, Bunnie," Steele started to say, talking slowly. "If you had used this to observe someone's thought patterns, there was a chance you could have caused that person to switch bodies." "But that's exactly... I mean, go on," Bunnie said. Steele smirked once, much to Bunnie's annoyance. "And if you had tried to use it for that," he said. "You could have found yourself on the cusp of an inverse asymptotic attractor every time you encountered the theta wave field." Bunnie looked thoughtful. "You would have switched randomly every time someone triggered the device," Steele explained. "Exactly what I had been thinking!" Bunnie said. "Good thing I didn't do anything like that. I mean, having seen it ahead of time and all." "Of course, it probably would have gone up in a huge fireball the first time you used it," Steele said, chuckling. "Yeah," Bunnie said, avoiding eye contact. "Good thing I didn't do that." Steele looking extremely puzzled as he reached in the bag of parts that Bunnie had given him and pulled out a singed Barbie doll head with an eggcup wired to it. "That's mine! I need that!" Bunnie said, jumping up to snatch the doll head back. Steele leaned back and shook his head. "So the only reason you came by was to bring me back my theta wave parabolic sensor?" he asked with great suspicion. "Yes," Bunnie said, crossing her arms and jutting her chin out. "Really?" Steele asked. "Absolutely," she said. "But since you brought it up, I was wondering if you were using your analog memory recorder." "What for?" Steele said. "I want to use it to build a working thought capture device," Bunnie said, excitement building as she discussed her work. "I thought I could use it as the primary input on a morphic adaptation unit." "You want to be able to change things into whatever you're thinking about," Steele summed up. "Yes! Exactly! I call it a Modular Optimized Memory Morphic Induction Emitter!" Bunnie said, her eyes glistening. "M.O.M.M.I.E.?" Steele said, incredulously. "You named your machine M.O.M.M.I.E.? You have issues." "I do not!" Bunnie said, jumping up in indignation. The Barbie head rolled out between the two kids. Bunnie bent down to snatch it back up as quickly as she could. "Besides," Steele said. "Wouldn't it be simpler to just call it a M.A.U.? It makes it sound like something a cat would say!" "It makes it sound like something a cat would say," Bunnie murmured in a high mocking voice. "What?" Steele said. "So can I have it?" she asked clearly, with a straight face. "Yes," Steele said, reluctantly. "But I know I'm going to regret it." Bunnie squealed. This was going to be awesome! And it would work! This time she was sure of it. THE END