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CYBERANNIE © 2011 by Anthony Durrant When I went into the V.R. game store, I went up to the counter and asked Mike, the man seated behind it: "Have you a copy of Headhunter III?" "Naw, King," he replied, "it's already sold out, and we won't be getting any more from our supplier till next week." "Damn!" I said, then looked around the showroom and spotted CyberAnnie, a game which was intended for girls. "Well, since I don't want to go home empty-handed, I'll take CyberAnnie instead, Mike, as it looks like a good game." Grabbing the display copy, which was the only one left in the store, I went up to the counter with it, and used my credit chit to pay for the game. I then shook Mike's hand and then walked all the way home, where I unlocked the front door and went into the house where I lived. Delighted with my new buy, I washed my hands and then hurried to my bedroom, where my V.R. pod - which had been my father's before he died - was standing. Opening the pod, I climbed into it and slammed the lid down over me, then opened the game package and put the GameJewel I found inside into the console. I then activated the pod and felt the three microdishes mounted in the top clasp my forehead. "This might not be Headhunter III," I said to myself, "but I bet it'll be just as much fun to play, and to enjoy!" And then my mind was plunged into the V.R. world of CyberAnnie, the title character of the game. CyberAnnie was an orphan living in an orphanage in a city run by a fellow called Big Daddy. During the opening sequence, CyberAnnie escaped the cruel orphanage on a quest to find and stop Big Daddy because he was a despot who ruled the city with an iron fist. After this opening sequence, control of the game was handed over to me, the player. For the next few hours, I played CyberAnnie, channeling my frustration at not being able to buy Headhunter III into my gameplay. Soon, I had fought my way to Level Eight and was pounding my way through the doors of Big Daddy's palace. Following the final maze to its centre, I finally confronted Big Daddy in his private chamber and rushed to the attack. He was very powerful physically, and I ended up having to take him down twice because after I'd punched my way through his human disguise, he emerged from it as a huge, fiery dragon who promptly attacked me. I did succeed in vanquishing him, though, with the special sword I'd assembled previously, a weapon called ThinkPink. Once Big Daddy was down, the game was over, and my score shot up to over 100, 000 points. This was when the incident that was to change my whole life occurred: my score was so high that my old rig couldn't take the physical strain and promptly short circuited with my body still lying in the pod. I could feel power surge through me as my pod's mechanisms broke down and it automatically dialed the Emergency Services before shutting down completely. After what seemed like an eternity, I could hear voices in my room, and then the paramedics cut through the hinges and locking mechanisms of my pod and removed the lid. They then lifted me out and placed me on a stretcher, then took me downstairs on it to the front door. Once there, the paramedics opened it so as to allow them to take me through and then out to a waiting ambulance. They then loaded me onto the ambulance headfirst, before entering the control cabin, from which they closed the doors and drove off. As for me, my body was still sparking and twitching from side to side, and I shouted: "I did it! I scored over a hundred thousand points, and I beat CyberAnnie!" Then I blacked out. Soon afterward, I came partially awake and heard a man say: "Mr. Baggott, you were caught up in the short-circuiting of your V.R. game rig. We just barely got you out of there in time." "Thank . . . you . . ." I said as I realized I was being pushed along on a cot to one of the hospital rooms nearby. As I was being wheeled along, I blacked out again. *** When I awoke, I found myself lying on a bed in the cardiac ward. Realizing I had made a terrible mistake in playing CyberAnnie so hard for so long, I groaned in anguish and stared out the window for a while. Then an entirely new and different set of memories popped into my head - those of Annie Wellington, the dying little girl whose memory engrams had formed the basis for the CyberAnnie character's A.I., to which I was linked when I was controlling the game myself. "Yes," I said to myself, "I am King Baggott, but I am CyberAnnie, too. Somehow, the game's A.I. and my mind and body have fused to become one and the same!" Rising from my hospital bed, I walked over to the window. Raising a hand to my face, I made a fist and watched it crackle with new energy. Delighted by what I saw, I grabbed a chair and hurled it at the window, smashing the glass, then climbed out onto the fire escape and ran down it to the street below. As I ran, I smiled and started to sing: "People call me daffy, Which may be true - But I think I'm brilliant, How about you? "Boom, boom, Ain't it great to be crazy? Boom, boom, Ain't it great to be crazy? "People think I'm daffy, Crazy in the head - Please pass the ketchup, I think I'll go to bed! "Boom, boom, Ain't it great to be crazy? Boom, boom, Ain't it great to be crazy?" I used my new powers to run all the way home at superspeed, loving the experience all the way. "First, I'll have to get myself a costume," I said to myself, "and then I'll devote myself to finding Big Daddy!" *** After making myself a proper CyberAnnie costume, I tried it on and found that it fit perfectly. Somehow, while I was out, I must have morphed fully into a girl. "Wonderful!" I said. "Now that this girl is properly attired, I can go to the Crystal Palace Museum's opening night dinner tonight and see if I can find Big Daddy there. If not, I will have to comb the whole city for him!" And then I threw open my bedroom window and leaped out into the evening air, jumping from rooftop to rooftop until I finally arrived at the museum. I then ran over to the chimney and jumped down into it, then slid all the way down to an old fireplace from which I promptly emerged. Hurrying over to the main part of the museum, where a dinner table had been set up inside the model of a fossil rhinoceros, I watched as the mayor toasted the two guests of honour, Glammazon and another heroine, the Crimson Archer: "Since the two of you have been appointed as the city's official defenders, you have done a truly awe-inspiring job. Good health, long life!" "Good health, long life!" the other guests shouted as they raised their glasses to Glammazon and the Crimson Archer. "Hey, what about me?" I shouted as I dropped from a Baluchitherium skeleton onto the table set in the rhinoceros's stomach. "Do you really not remember your CyberAnnie, Big Daddy, or do you remember abandoning me when I was a little bitty kid?" "I've never seen you before!" he replied with astonishment. "Neither have I, girl!" Glammazon cried as she leaped from her chair to confront me. The Archer also stood up and aimed her longbow at me, but just before I could shoot, I leaped up from the tabletop to a huge skeleton of a prehistoric beast just as Glammazon chased after me. "Take one more step, and I'll mow ya down!" I cried. "This is a Primegenius Mammuthus Americanski, and it's ready to rumble!" Glammazon threw back her head and laughed. "Silly girl!" she cried. "That is the scientific name for a prehistoric mastodon!" "Well, well!" I replied. "I'm a better scientist than I thought. But, you still can't catch me, can you, Glammazonski?" And then I leaped from the mastodon's back onto the grass of the Prehistoric Man exhibit. Grabbing the strobelight that illuminated the exhibit, I tore it loose from its mountings and hurled it at Glammazon, who immediately caught it and set it down on the floor. I tried to run, but was caught by surprise by the Crimson Archer, who stepped right across my path and fired a gas arrow into my face that knocked me out promptly. As I collapsed to the floor, I saw Glammazon hurry over to the archer, and then I blacked out. *** When I awoke, I found myself in some sort of laboratory, lying strapped to a bed with probes attached to my forehead. "Her brain patterns read as a combination of the CyberAnnie A.I. and a man named King Baggott!" Glammazon was telling the Archer. I tried to break free of my restraints, but couldn't: there were power dampers on my wrists. "Let me go!" I cried, and Glammazon said: "Not just yet, we're not - you've become rather a puzzle to us, Ms. CyberAnnie: our tests reveal that you're genetically male, yet on the outside you appear to be a very normal female." The Crimson Archer emerged from a pod at the back of the lab, where she too had been playing CyberAnnie. Her hood was down, and I could see that she was the spitting image of her mother, Glammazon. "Whew!" she said. "I almost made it to Level Seven, but then I got killed by a Bull Fighter, so I decided to end the game there and then and come out of my pod." "Well, I'm very glad you did, honey!" Glammazon said. "This is CyberAnnie, the villain who you helped me to capture tonight, Louise." "Wow!" cried the Crimson Archer. "I had no idea. Are you feeling comfy in those manacles?" "I am, yes!" I replied. "They're tight, but I can still move my wrists. Why have you brought me here to your lab?" "To study you, of course!" Glammazon replied. "We've determined that your consciousness is fused with that of a copy of the CyberAnnie A.I.!" "Yeah, I know!" I replied. "I battled all the way up to Level Eight and destroyed Big Daddy, then - VAVOOM! - everything went up in sparks, and the A.I. and I became one!" "How long did that take?" the Archer asked. "Most of an afternoon and evening - I didn't even stop to have my supper!" I replied. "Now I have a transformed body and all of Annie Wellington's memories, and I love it. I just LOOOOOOOOOVE it! MMMMM!" "What did you just say?" Glammazon asked. "I said, 'Now I have a transformed body and all of Annie Wellington's memories, and I love it!' Why would you want to know?" "Annie Wellington was the daughter of Horace Wellington, the founder of B.B.M!" she replied. "She died a little over two years ago." "Yeah, I know!" I said. "He used her brainwave patterns for the CyberAnnie A.I.s because that was the real Annie's last wish. She wanted to live on forever as a game hero!" "And so, it seems, she has," Glammazon replied, "but since the release of CyberAnnie into the public, there've been a rash of deaths connected to the game, all of which involved players using Mark Two rigs or compatibles, all of whom were fried to death in their rigs. If Wellington's planning something awful, I want to know all about it right away!" "And I was one of them!" I said. "My rig's an old Voltron Two - I've upgraded it so that it's compatible to the Jewelplayer, the unit that CyberAnnie is usually played in. Now, can you please tell me where Big Daddy is?" "Damned if I know!" Louise, the Crimson Archer, retorted. "Isn't he a fictitional character, Mom?" "That I assume, yes!" Glammazon replied. Because both women were over 7 feet tall and heavily muscled, I wondered who they might be. So I asked Glammazon: "Can you tell me your real names?" "Why, King, don't you know us anymore?" I looked into Glammazon's eyes, and then the truth dawned on me: this was Anna Roentgen, the wife of my childhood playmate, Jedediah Roentgen. I had recently learned that Jed had been shot after completing a growth serum, leaving Anna widowed, but I had not seen them for many years. Now, suddenly, she and I were reunited under the most bizarre circumstances imaginable. Neither of us said a word as she injected some of the growth serum into my right arm. "What was that for?" I asked. "The jolt to your nervous system caused by the serum should stabilize your merged consciousness!" Glammazon said. "And, after it's passed into your system, we'll set you free!" "Why am I not growing?" I asked. "Because I only gave you a mild dose of the serum!" she cried angrily. "Isn't there anybody who can tell me where Big Daddy is?" I asked, and she replied: "Helen Tasker might know, King." "Who's Helen Tasker?" I asked. "She's the cyborg who escaped the clutches of Wellington's former rival, Hacker/Bennett Incorporated!" Glammazon said. "My dad used to tell me stories of her at bedtime. She lives in a little cottage with her human husband in the forest. Once you're stable, we'll release you, and we can then take you there." "I'd really like that!" I replied. *** I went with Glammazon and the Crimson Archer in the Glammobile from the dome containing the city into the forest, following the road to stay as safe as we possibly could. Eventually, we came upon a small cottage in the forest, where Glammazon stopped the Glammobile and we climbed out, then headed to the cottage door. When nobody answered Glammazon's knock, she kicked the door in, and the three of us walked into the cottage. Looking around, I spotted a lump in the bed and sneaked up to it. Bending over the lump, I shouted as loudly as I could: "BOOGLIE-BOOGLIE-BOO!" When there was no fearful scream from the lump, I peeled the sheets back and found a blonde female cyborg lying on her back with her head severed at the base of the neck and the neural chords there ripped apart. "Fooled by the oldest trick in the hero's book!" I groaned, and the Crimson Archer said: "Well, stop scaring us and repair her!" Using a repair kit labeled HELEN that I found on the bedside table, I skinned the two halves of the broken chords, twisted them together and capped them, then applied some solder to the newly made splices. I then reattached the cyborg's head to her body and watched as her eyes opened. She sat up on the bed and said: "Where the hell am I, girl?" "In Helen Tasker's cottage!" I replied. "I assume she was the one who tore your head off your shoulders, Ms. Whomever-you-are!" "The name's Amy Becker!" she replied. "Yeah, Helen attacked me and must've killed me. She's a wild one, that one: strong and dangerous." "Look at this!" I heard the Crimson Archer say as she and Glammazon stared at a figure hanging from the ceiling by a noose tied to a ceiling fan. Glammazon pulled the noose off the fan and laid the prone form of a female cyborg on the ground. I looked at it and said: "Not another one!" "'Fraid so!" she said. "She's broken two of them out to claim the old standing reward on her head. But, where is Helen herself?" Walking over to the second cyborg with the kit, I lifted her head off her body and spotted the damaged neural chords at the base of her neck. Quickly soldering the broken and twisted ends of the wires together, I put her head back on her body and watched as she too awakened at last. I asked: "How did you come to be hanging around?" "That bitch Helen got me!" she shouted. "I cornered her in the kitchen, and she grabbed me by the arm and swung me into the fridge. Me, Paula Preston, one of the greatest huntresses of them all, stopped by one of my own prey!" "Won't you help us find Helen?" I asked. "Paula Preston help mere humans?" Paula cried. "I should think not! A cyborg, yes, but humans are just pathetic weaklings!" "Paula!" Amy cried. "I am a cyborg, too!" "Yes," she said, "I can see that. You're Amy Acker Becker, a Wellington cyborg like myself. I assume you met Helen as well, and ended up beheaded like I was?" "Indeed!" Paula cried. "Sister, we must find and capture Helen so that Wellington can scan her and find out how she was constructed, for only her creators knew that secret. The data will then be used to create the CyberAnnie prototype." "I have a good body already, thank you!" I replied. "But I kind of like that idea." And then I charged Paula like a bull elephant in heat, knocking her to the ground. Leaping to her feet, she grabbed my leg, but was grabbed and pulled away by Amy. While the two cyborgs battled it out, the Roentgens and I fled the cottage through the back door and closed and locked the door behind us. Not far away, we found a third cyborg sitting in a chair on the deck beneath the awning. She was sitting absolutely still, but her fingers would occasionally tap the arm of her chair. In front of her, I spotted a big mound in the backyard garden, which Helen had planted a briar in. The climbing plant was growing on a large cross set at the head of the mound, where a grave marker would've been. "Helen's husband must've died!" I thought. "If true, what a sad thing to happen to the poor lady!" Turning back to Helen, I looked into her eyes for the first time. She was beautiful, with bronze-coloured skin and dark hair. Her face was heart-shaped with high cheekbones, an asset for such a remarkable person, and her eyes were brown, with the lids canted slightly upwards, perhaps in imitation of Helen of Troy. Her body was slim but muscular, and her legs were long and strong. She apparently noticed me, for she turned her head toward me but did nothing. "So this is Helen Hacker!" Glammazon said, smiling down at the lady in the chair. "I know how it feels to lose someone you love, Helen!" she told Helen as she reached into a receptacle on her utility belt and pulled out some shortening bread, which she then handed to the cyborg. "This shortening bread should help you overcome your pain and anguish!" Taking Helen's hand, Glammazon sang to her: "Mama's gonna make you shortnin', shortnin', Mama's gonna make you shortnin' bread!" Lifting Helen's hand, with the bread in it, up to her slim, straight nose, we watched her smell the shortening bread. Seemingly intrigued by the scent, Helen bit into it, chewed 24 times, then swallowed. Judging by her facial expression, she enjoyed the taste, and in fact she gobbled the rest of the bread down eagerly. Light surged into her eyes, and she leaped to her feet. Taking a deep breath of the afternoon air, Helen sang: "Put on the skillet! Put on the lead! Helen's gonna make you some shortnin' bread!" Tapping her feet, Helen danced to her cottage door as she sang: "I wanna shout! I wanna sing! I feel like doing the 'Chicken Wing!' Helen's gonna make some shortnin', shortnin', Helen's gonna make some shortnin' bread!" As we followed her into the cottage. I asked Helen: "Why are these two cyborgs after you?" "They think Hacker/Bennett discovered a way to make my A.I. so lifelike that I essentially AM human, but they're wrong. I'm not an A.I., I was a man named Leonid Kinsky. My mind was downloaded into this body over fifty years ago, after I was captured and taken to Hacker/Bennett's Artificial Intelligence Institute. This is why, if the people running Wellington think they can create another cyborg based on my brain patterns, they're sadly mistaken. Worse, Paula threatened to dig up my husband if I didn't tell her the 'secret' of my supposed artificial intelligence, CyberAnnie." "You know who I am?" I asked. "My neighbour's kid plays CyberAnnie!" Helen replied. "Plus, I heard on the radio that you'd escaped from the hospital where you were being kept for observation by the doctors, then turned up at the museum opening, uninvited, on the same night that Glammazon and the Crimson Archer were being honoured by the museum for recovering their long-lost mounted wood bison. They captured you not long after you crashed the party." "Yeah, I know!" I said. "And thank goodness they did, because they were able to stabilize my merged consciousness completely." *** When we'd reentered the cottage, we saw that Paula and Amy were locked in combat, and so Helen walked up to the two of them and pulled them apart. "I don't know what made you two fight each other, but stop it right now!" she cried. "I don't know why these people repaired you two, but THERE WILL BE NO MORE FIGHTING HERE!" Paula and Amy immediately stopped glaring at each other and bowed their heads, as dictated by their subliminal Wellington programming, in shame. "Do you two know where Big Daddy is?" I asked, and Paula looked oddly at me as Amy took me by the hand and said: "If you mean Mr. Wellington, he lives at the company headquarters in the valley nearby. You can't miss it - it's the first building on the right. In fact, it's the only building on the right!" "Joker!" the Crimson Archer said. "Could you please draw us a map to there?" I asked. "I'm sure Glammazon and the Archer will be really, really grateful to you when you do. Plus, I'll be really grateful, too!" "Yes, I'm sure you would!" Paula said as she got out a pen and drew a map on one of Helen's plain white place mats. Glammazon tucked it into a pocket in her cape, and then Helen grabbed the two huntresses and threw them out the door, and we watched as the two of them ran quickly away. "Good riddance!" Helen said with a smile, and then she sang: "I'll put on the skillet, I'll put on the lead, I'd better go and make that shortnin' bread!" *** Once the shortening bread was cooked, Helen served slices of it to us, because she was so delighted at having regained her fighting spirit. It turned out to be delicious, and while eating it, we discussed how best to reach the Wellington H.Q. from the cottage - should we take the Glammobile or use Helen's dune buggy? "The dune buggy works best on this terrain," Helen exclaimed, "and has four-wheel drive." "Yes, but the Glammobile is better because we can use its onboard weapons against the Wellington Building's defenses, Helen!" Glammazon replied. "If we use your dune buggy, their laser grids could tear us to shreds - even you!" "I'm a cyborg, remember?" Helen asked. "I'm powerful and very hard to kill, which makes me the only weapon you'll need against Wellington." "Shut up, both of you!" I cried. "Why not compromise and put the four- wheel drive from the dune buggy in the Glammobile?" Both Helen and Glammazon looked at me in amazement, and then Helen smiled and said: "Now, that's the best idea I've heard yet! CyberAnnie, you're a genius - that's just what we'll do. I wonder why I hadn't thought of that very idea myself, though?" The four of us then set off in the newly modified Glammobile on the road to the Wellington building with Glammazon at the wheel and Helen riding in the back with me: Glammazon wanted to be with her daughter. We followed the map Paula had drawn up for us, and soon we arrived at the manmade valley where the Wellington Building was located. As soon as we pulled up to the entrance, I saw the cameras on top of the building turn toward the four of us. Before Helen or I could react, Glammazon activated the Glammobile's weapons systems and blew off all four of the cameras. Then the four of us left the Glammobile and headed closer towards the front door on foot. At the door, we watched as Glammazon pulled a laser from her utility belt and used it to cut around the lock. When the lock had been severed, the Crimson Archer kicked the door in, and the four of us entered the building - only to have an emergency door slam shut behind us, preventing us from leaving through the exposed jamb! Once we'd realized we were trapped, the four of us turned and walked down a corridor toward the east, at the end of which was a wall bearing an inscription: "Simon says the four of you need the Thermoplast Key if you are to reach me!" "And where would we get THAT, I wonder?" Helen asked bitingly, although I could tell she regretted her sarcasm as soon as she'd spoken. As we turned the corner, a large robot appeared and came toward us from the other side of the corridor and said: "You are Helen Hacker, the cyborg created by Hacker/Bennett to rival the Companion Cartwright model. You will be captured and scanned to learn your A.I.'s secret." As soon as the robot had finished speaking, Helen ran forward and knocked his head off with a flying kick. We turned down the hall and spied two more such robots coming toward us. It was the Archer who took them out with a volley of arrows from her longbow. When they were down, we stepped past them and hurried down the corridor. Soon, we came upon what appeared to be a huge mouth which said: "Simon says that to pass by me, you must give me food that is gold and then I'll sing you a note of sweet victory." Shaking her head, Glammazon led us away from the mouth and we ventured further down the corridor. Soon we came upon another inscription; this one read: "Simon says: who is Aphrodite's son?" "That's easy!" the Crimson Archer said. "Her son was Eros, the god of love, and I don't take kindly to riddles like that!" But nothing happened. "Eros was called Cupid by the Romans!" Glammazon said, but STILL nothing happened. "How about Gerald?" I asked. "Or Tom? Or Dick? Or Harry? Why not those?" Helen threw back her head and laughed. "I can't believe the three of you!" she cried. "Aphrodite's younger son was Aneas, the Trojan hero, who went on to found Rome." As if by command, the wall on which the inscription had been written crumbled away, revealing a hidden oval chamber behind it. The four of us quickly entered the chamber, where we found a compass and a key inside that was made of plastic. I grabbed the key and Glammazon grabbed the compass, then we left the hidden room. As soon as we reached the end of THIS corridor, we found a metal door with yet another inscription reading, in the clearest and plainest English possible: "If you wish to pass through here, you must put the Plastic Key in the lock!" I put the plastic key in the lock, but when I tried to turn it, it wouldn't move, so I pulled it out again. Then I suddenly realized what had happened, and said: "Simon didn't say!" "What do you mean, girl?" Helen asked me. "The key didn't work because Simon didn't say! The lock and door must both be phony!" "Outta the mouths of babes!" the Archer cried. "She's right!" Glammazon said. "The messages and the magic mouth's riddles all began with the words 'Simon says.' I played that game as a child and should've remembered it. If the caller doesn't say 'Simon says,' you're not supposed to perform that particular action." "Which means the REAL door is on the wall with the face of Johnny Wellington, the founder of Wellington and the purchaser of the Companion Cartwright line of cyborgs, on it. The keyhole must be his mouth. Go ahead, CyberAnnie, and insert the key." Helen urged as she shook her head ruefully. I inserted the key into Johnny Wellington's mouth and smiled happily at him as I said: "Hey, Big Daddy! Glad to see ya!" The wall slowly slid open and the four of us entered the corridor behind it, which led directly to a room with a broken tram on a track leading through a tunnel to the other side. "Oh, I don't believe this!" Helen cried in frustration. "How are we to get across?" Glammazon asked, and the Crimson Archer replied: "I can use a rope arrow to get us across!" "Better not!" her mother retorted. "It's too dark in that tunnel to see where we're going. No, the only way we'll escape is by using the tram." "But one wheel is broken!" the Archer cried. "And I can replace it with this heavy grate set in the floor near the door!" I said. Grabbing the grate, I ripped it from its mountings, broke the damaged wheel in half to remove it from its axle, and attached the round gate to the bared axle, bending the clamps on the axle into it to hold it firmly in place. Then we all got into the tram, and Glammazon turned the Thermoplast Key, which was in the starter, and its engine revved up immediately. A few minutes later, the brakes on the other three wheels released and the tram zoomed along the track and through the dark tunnel. Eventually, we emerged and arrived in a huge room. Since the tram hadn't braked, we flew off the end of its track and landed on the level below the tunnel mouth. After Helen helped the three of us out of the damaged tram, we looked around. On the wall we could see an inscription that read: "Simon says that Johnny Wellington was lost in these tunnels many years ago, after the death of his daughter. See if you can find him before our flying guard robots find YOU!" We had to follow the walls of the huge room to the corners and then turn there, all the while being attacked by huge flying silver robots, which Helen would grab in each hand and slam into each other, smashing them apart. She did this at least three times before I stopped her. "Let the others fight these robots!" I cried. Once we'd battled our way to the other end of the huge room, we found a door with a lock on it, and this inscription above it: "Hide-de-ho and fiddle-dee-dee, Try to open this lock without a key!" I reached out toward the lock so as to put my finger in the keyhole and thereby pick the lock, but Helen interrupted and grabbed my arm. "Simon didn't say!" she growled. "That lock has to be booby-trapped in some way!" "Then, how'll we get through?" I asked. "Like THIS!" Glammazon yelled, and then she knocked down the door with a flying kick, after which the four of us walked through the empty jamb and into a smaller chamber, where we saw a man with Big Daddy's appearance sitting behind a desk. "DADDY!" I cried exitedly as I rushed up to him. "It's me, CyberAnnie!" "Annie Wellington died two years ago!" the man behind the desk said as he shoved me away, prompting Glammazon to hurl an oddly-shaped boomerang which knocked off his head, sending it flying into the wall, as his body crumpled to the ground, pulling a curtain down from behind. As it did so, it revealed the body of Johnny Wellington encased in a plastic cube and seated in a chair. "Big Daddy's dead!" I exclaimed, and then I broke down and cried as Glammazon and Helen knelt down beside me on the floor. "Yes," Glammazon said softly, "Big Daddy's dead. But please dry your tears and try to think about what that means, honey: if he's dead, then he's not the person who completed the CyberAnnie V.R. game engine, or the finished game itself. CyberAnnie, this means that Johnny Wellington didn't kill those gamers. The A.I. running the company is the real killer." "Then Big Daddy didn't do it!" I cried. "Yes," Helen said, "Big Daddy is innocent!" "WHOOPEE!" I cried joyfully. Then I saw that the desk's console was still active, and that there was a line leading from what I now saw was a broken cyborg into it. Grabbing the line, I pulled it out of the phony Big Daddy and then out of its port on the console. Then I looked at the console itself and saw the word S.I.M.O.N. written on it, which stood for Synthetic Intelligence Made to Oversee New V.R. Game Design: Simon, for short. "So, Simon DOES say!" I thought as I showed the other's the A.I.'s name. "Yes, I suppose he does!" the Crimson Archer said with a smile. "I wonder what he'll say now?" "Very little!" Glammazon replied. "I doubt he has the ability to speak without the link to the Johnny Wellington cyborg we killed. We must find a way to talk to him." "Why not talk to the desk?" I wondered, then turned to the desk and asked, "Why have you been murdering the CyberAnnie players using old or compatible rigs?" "My programming compels me to answer you truthfully!" the A.I. replied. "Simon says that I created the CyberAnnie game's engine so as to kill people using old or compatible rigs because I felt that the game should only be played on our new JewelPlayer unit. I don't want the game to be played on any other rig!" Suddenly, an emergency door slid down inside the door jamb, and Glammazon quickly hurled another boomerang at it, preventing the door from fully closing. This provided us with a possible avenue of escape for later. "So, you've been using my game to kill people, huh?" I asked. "Well, I'm sorry, but I can't let you keep doing that!" Grabbing the desk, I braced myself and then ripped it out of the floor, then hurled it through the nearby window, causing it to fall to the ground below us and shatter into a million pieces beneath a graffiti on the wall that read, "A long Vader go." "And that is the end of Simon!" I shouted eagerly. "He won't be hurting anybody anymore, guys, so let's party!" "Save that for later!" Helen said. "Right now, we've got to think of getting out of here, and it looks as if our only escape route is back the way we came." She and Glammazon then pushed the heavy emergency door back into the jamb. "What do you call those boomerangs?" I asked. "Glammarangs, of course!" I cried. Once the door was completely out of the way, we left the small chamber and returned to the big one, where we found the guard robots lying inert: Simon, who controlled them, was dead. A few minutes later, the Archer stumbled upon a golden apple in a niche on the wall. Grabbing it and putting it into her pouch, she said: "This golden apple is the 'food that is gold' that'll satisfy the magic mouth in the maze, which is probably guarding the exit from this building." "Good thinking, Louise!" cried Glammazon. We then linked arms as we walked happily to the tunnel and sang at the top of our lungs: "The merry-go-round broke down, But you won't see us frown. We became the best of friends When the merry-go-round broke down. "Oh, we've had a wonderful time Saving Earth for just one thin dime. Up and down and over we've spent Making friends, one hundred percent! "The merry-go-round broke down, But you won't see us frown, For we became the best of friends When the merry-go-round broke down - When the merry-go-round . . . broke . . . DOWN!" THE END