Amy 13: Hellbound free porn video

Amy 13: Hellbound by Amy Komori The original characters and plot of this story are the property of the author. No infringement of pre-existing copyright is intended. This story is copyright (c) 2010 Amy Komori. All rights reserved. Chapter One: The Girl Who Broke 10000 Maniacs Sunday was Skate Day with Michelle Cho, after attending church services at the Southern Baptist megachurch just outside of town. Obviously, the first part was true but the second never happened. Instead I got up feeling pretty fucking good about myself and ate cereal while poking fun at Emily's hangover (again!). She'd been out most of the night with some new guy she'd met at school, some ultra-cool art student like herself, only he was into snowboarding and hiking. I'd never known Emily to give a shit about either of those things, and actually she kind of made fun of him in a drowsy, lazy way that showed her brain was barely functioning and also that she was definitely interested in this dude. "It's like only a matter of time before you buy a snowboard," I told her. Emily just kind of half-smiled with her head in her hands and her eyes barely open. The reason I got to skate despite having been grounded was my grades were pretty kick-ass and I'd been working so hard at being a cheerleader and all, so Mrs. Komori decided to give me time off for good behavior, just like didn't happen to Tim Robbins in that prison movie. If she'd only known what I was up to with my friends the day before, I probably wouldn't have been allowed out of the house until graduation. Just thinking about Gina behind the wheel of that car gave me even more of a glow. Actually, as a result of her having ruffled my hair and daring to drive us all the way out to Piney Ridge, my feelings for Gina were undergoing a transformation. It started the night before when I lay down in bed and started replaying the day in my mind. The more I thought about Gina the more I kind of felt this antsy want. I'd almost admitted to Willis Wallace I had a crush on her, but increasingly this wasn't just some kid's crush or the mild warmth of affection. It was something more. A lot more. The other person I had a crush on?did I feel the same way about her? Maybe a little, but not nearly so strong as what I was feeling for Gina. But while that was in my head and making lots of noise?and even that morning I still felt the tingling of it all over as if all my nerve endings had woken up all at once and everything inside me was signaling want, want, want just the same way I'd wanted better skates or to be able to do a flatspin or to play bass even half as well as Lena played guitar or to be a cheerleader or to stop being a cheerleader, only stronger than all of those-- the main thing I was thinking over what Willis Wallace had told me. Why the fuck would Heidi key her mom's car and blame it on me? After showering and dressing in a gray tee and some huge jeans with frayed hems, I caught a ride with a headachey but coming-to-life-again Emily to the skatepark and joined my friends. Not being able to duplicate my now-legendary flatspin didn't bother me in the least. I mean, I had the perfect excuses anyways: I was really distracted by this growing Gina-feeling and I still looked pretty cool sliding down the inside of the vert on my back or my stomach. Patrick tried to talk to me all day, too, but I just ignored him because I felt like treating him like shit that day as a result of having considered his boners a bit too much at Willis's. Mostly, I just wanted to hang with Michelle so I could ask her what she thought about Heidi's fucked up little scheme. "What does it mean?" I asked Michelle. Gina and Sarah had already given me their opinions?added together and divided by two, they felt Heidi was a bitch and also bunnies were the cutest. Not exactly helpful. Michelle was dressed all in black again. Black helmet?like mine?black tee, black longsleeve under-tee, baggy black Dickies. She raised her eyebrows thoughtfully and said, "I dunno. I think it means Heidi-ho totally has it in for you to the point her brain's exploded." "Well, explosion or not, I'm quitting cheerleading," I told her. "Really? You mean you don't like being the Buttercup of Delacroix High? God, I'm gonna miss seeing your little drawings on those posters in the hall." I pushed her helmeted head back and just smiled kind of wryly. She rocked to the side and bumped me with her shoulder. A knee pushed into my back and I looked up to see Patrick the Boner Boy standing over me. I had to squint one eye because of the sun. "You gonna talk to me today, Ayumi?" he asked. "Fuck off, dude. You frogged me last week." "So? You pushed me." "Look at this shit, dude," I said, and showed him my arm. The bruise was dark and a little yellow around the edges. I knew most of that was Gina's fault, but I didn't think Patrick had to know that. "Oh, fuck, dude," Patrick jeered. "You gotta be tougher than that if you're gonna skate here. Little cheerleader princess hurt her widdle arm." A couple of guys laughed, so I just turned away and pretended none of them existed. "You know Heidi's gonna freak right the hell out when you quit," Michelle said, picking up on the secret ignore-Patrick signals flying through the air between us. "You're quitting cheerleading?" Patrick asked. "Dude, why don't you go fuckin' skate or die?" Michelle said. "What are you, her bodyguard? Or her girlfriend?" "You're sick, dude." "Do you munch her carpet and stuff?" Michelle was blushing now and I'm pretty sure I was, too. She tried to push Patrick's leg, but he just stepped back. We both liked Patrick, but sometimes he really took shit too far, plus it was still supposed to be National Be Mean to Patrick Day. He seemed to sense something wrong because we weren't firing back at him, so he just kind of shrugged and went to set up for a run on the vert. "Hey, Patrick!" Michelle suddenly yelled. I looked back and Patrick was right up on the edge, just about to drop in. He looked back at us. Michelle said, "She tastes like cotton candy down there!" Everyone was shocked. Including me. All conversation stopped and Patrick gave us a crooked grin then disappeared over the side. Michelle stretched out on her back and kicked her skate boots as she screamed out her laughter. Yeah, it was pretty funny, but at the same time I wasn't exactly thrilled with it. "Dude, some of these guys are stupid enough they're gonna believe that!" I said. "Try not to think so much," was Michelle's reply. Chapter Two: Take This Job and Shove It The main plan was quitting the cheer squad the next day. It was so much easier admitting I wanted out than in, but I was anticipating this magical moment with what felt like being cheerfully scared. I kept it to myself all day, but I went about my business with a teensy stomach ache while acting like I didn't have a care in the world. I joked around with my girls at lunch and in the hallways whenever we met each other between classes. Hidden behind all that was this feeling Heidi was going to freak out completely and stomp me to death before anyone could react and pull her off. When practice time came around, I didn't dress out at all. I had all my cheer stuff?except, of course, my cheer shoes, but they actually belonged to me?in some plastic bags from Target. I just showed up at the practice field in my regular clothes, all in black, black from head to toe, with Michelle as my inspiration. Plus I just liked wearing black. I had on this cool three-quarter sleeve oxford, pinstripe pants, my Vans with Sarah's name still visible. I wore my rebellious puka shell necklace and had both my wrists loaded down with colorful beaded bracelets. I was pretty sure Frank Black would agree I looked like an erotic vulture. I'd psyched myself up on the walk. With words and actions, I was going to hurt Heidi, stab her deep in her plastic Barbie doll heart. Then she was going to kill me. But that was okay by me! "Here ya go," I said to Heidi and handed her the bags. "What are you doing?" "I'm quitting. I don't think I need to be a cheerleader anymore." I cut my eyes over at Monique and Saffron. They looked hurt. They cared what I did. I tuned them out because I was deeply into the moment. Simultaneously scared shitless and elated, feeling jumpy and capable of committing suicide by mouth. This was supposed to be my triumph. Faster, Amy-cat, kill kill! "You think you're quitting?" Heidi asked. "You think you're gonna walk out on us? With four games left in the season? And Homecoming?" "Looks like. I mean, whatever deal we had is pretty much busted now anyways." "Deal? We never had any deal." "Some of us here could tell you otherwise, Heidi." "Look, go put on your stuff and we'll forget this happened." "You know I was at Willis Wallace's house Saturday, don't you?" I had no idea if she did or not; I just wanted to get a reaction. "No, I don't. What is he, your boyfriend?" Wow, Heidi was cool. I thought I saw just the faintest eyebrow quiver, but her expression stayed the same: disdainful. Some of the girls laughed. Monique, Saffron and Kimmy definitely did not. I could imagine what they must be thinking about me. Ashleigh Bodine was eyeing both Heidi and me, probably hoping for a beatdown and I doubt she cared which of us lost. I shrugged, looked back at the school. "Yeah, he's my boyfriend. I'm actually three months pregnant with his half-geek baby." Cheerleaders gasped. It wasn't that they believed my story; they just couldn't imagine anyone actually saying such a social life slaughtering thing about herself. Heidi just smiled grimly and said, "If that's what you want, go on. But you know I'm gonna break your ass anyway." "I don't care anymore. I don't know why you did all this shit to me, but I know enough to know you're as fucked up as Willis Wallace. Actually, you're way more fucked in the head than that. At least he's totally harmless." Heidi's face finally clouded and I knew I'd won. I also knew I was inches away from a second ass-whipping at her hands. The humiliation was too much for her and to push it now would be a massive mistake. So I decided to declare victory and just walked away, praying she wouldn't come after me and hit me from behind or something. I'd survived! The worst era in my life was over! I felt full of helium, ready to float off the surface of the earth. Every step was lighter than the last. Sarah and Gina?heart flutter-- were standing over by the gym, so I knew I had to put on a show for them before I got overly giddy and silly. Don't show anything but total coolness, I ordered my body. But it didn't obey me. I gave my friends a fierce little grin, stuck out my tongue and made faces. "You little bitch!" Heidi shouted, her voice echoing. She obviously couldn't contain her rage anymore. We laughed at her, Gina shot Heidi a bird. I caught one little glimpse of Monique shaking her head, dismissing me. The cheerleaders sort of closed ranks and once again we were worlds apart. And that was it. I'd become a cheerleader, had a few laughs, then dumped the whole thing. People are gonna totally lose their shit over this, I thought. I didn't count on the same kind of support I'd gotten when Mike was after me, though. Heidi was still one the path to becoming Queen of Delacroix High and despite my recent popularity, I was still considered pretty outre. Also that very same popularity had been provisional, no mistaking that. So I was pretty sure the jocks who liked me before were going to side with Heidi, because she was part of their tribe and Golden Girl. Most of the other kids would just think I was just this rotten-ass bitch who stabbed her friends in the back, had a checkered rep and the freakiest geek of them all probably jacking off to images of me dressed like Katana every night in his bed. "You look weird," Sarah said. "No I don't," I disagreed. "How do I look weird?" "You were smiling, but it was kinda... I dunno... kinda scary looking." "Oh." Yeah, no shit. Chapter Three: Aftermath I was nervous going into school the next day, but everything seemed normal. I saw a couple of guys on the football team and they still went through the whole fist-bumping thing. Interesting, I thought. Maybe I was wrong. Maybe nobody gives a shit after all. My chipper mood came back and I relaxed. Then I ran into Monique between classes. "What's up?" I said. "What the fuck, Amy?" she asked. Her expression was anything but friendly, but mostly she drilled right through me with her eyes. If I could have felt her glare, it would've been a strong finger repeatedly poking me in the chest, hard enough to knock me back a step or two. I blinked a few times while I tried to figure this out. What the fuck indeed? "I can't believe you fucking quit," Monique said. "We were going to start doing stunts. Now we don't have enough girls. How could you do this?" "I-I..." was all I could manage. "I know you and Heidi have some kind of twisted... whatever going on between you. But you just dragged us all into it, you know that?" This wasn't going well so I decided to escape. Monique wasn't having it. I tried to push past her and she put her hand on my shoulder and held me up, just long enough to get in one more dig: "I really thought you were cool. Stupid me, huh?" Then she absented herself before I could even reply that I didn't think she was stupid at all, that I really liked her. Now I didn't know what to think. I had been certain this was just between Heidi and me, but it turned out other people were involved, too. I understood now I'd probably blown some friendships that might have been fun to pursue. Goodbye, Monique, goodbye Saffron. That was a cloud passing over my sun. Luckily, Gina came to my rescue and it was summer-in-fall again. She was just up ahead and looked super-delicious in long-sleeved tee and flared corduroys. Big fat leather belt around her waist, shiny burgundy oxford shoes. All I could think about for the next few seconds was how much I wanted her to kiss me. Then I was like, No, that's stupid. You're stupid for liking her this much. But my evil little heart was still going pitter-pat. "Hey, Amy," she said when I caught up to her. "You look kinda worried about something." "Nope." Twitchy, nervous, face suddenly hot. "We're taking off at lunch. You wanna hit Burger King?" "Aw yeah!" Excitement made a good cover-up for my crush-nerves. Plus it gave me something to look forward to instead of dropping into brood-mode over the Monique situation. A few people were starting to catch on that I wasn't a cheerleader anymore and even asked me about it but I just told them I had no comment, that my lawyers were working on the details and we'd be holding a press conference as soon as we got things hammered out. Then I concentrated on my studies, or at least faked it well enough the teachers seemed pleased, which in turn, made me pleased with myself. By the time lunch period rolled around, I was feeling all full of myself again. Okay, I'd alienated Monique and Saffron and probably a few other people. And yeah, Atom Bomb Heidi was due to drop on my epicenter any day now. But I still had my closest friends and they were all that really mattered. Yeah, I was actually going to miss some of the attention?I'd really loved being in front of the crowds and knew I had this attention-whore side I wanted to explore much further-- but no more football, no more pep rallies. Just being myself. I met Gina and Sarah just around the corner from the lunchroom entrance and we stood there trying to look innocent until we were sure no teachers were looking in our direction. Then we walked as fast as we dared?we had to do it just right and running would've been too conspicuous?into the empty part of the hall near the side exit. A quick look back, a clear coast and out the double doors we went. Now came the tricky part: crossing the side yard and then the street. We slipped along a brick wall near where the lunchroom dumpsters were, looked around and made a crazy dash under the oak trees. The fear was someone in authority would spot us from one of the upstairs classrooms and we wouldn't know it until we got back and a student helper brought office summons slips to our classes. "I think we made it," Gina said. We slowed to a walk, grinning at each other. "The perfect crime," I said. "We hope," Sarah added. "Everyone's talking about you, Amy," Gina said. "'Cause I'm so cute?" "Yeah, that's why. The boys wanna fuck you and the girls wanna be you. Or maybe it's the other way 'round. Because you quit cheerleading, stupid ass." "Hardly anyone's said anything to me about it. Monique hates me." "Who's Monique?" "One of the cheerleaders." "Fuck her, then." I laughed, but if only it were that simple. Ugh, I told myself. Then I said, "Well, a couple people asked me about it, but that's about all." "No one likes to talk shit to your face. They have to do it behind your back. That's the Delacroix Way." "They're talking shit about me?" "Dude, they talk shit about everyone. They talked shit about you when you joined, they're talking shit about you now that you've quit." I was a little upset and squeaked, "I don't want people talking shit about me!" "Welcome to high school." "People are mean," Sarah concluded. "I still love you, Amy." We managed to get away with our Burger King caper, too. Chapter Three: And Aftermath-ier The next day was only a little different. The jocks stopped fist-bumping me, though. The first time I met a group of them in the hall that morning, I braced myself for the pain and put on the smile I usually gave them, but they brushed on past me without even looking. I kind of stood there for a second feeling surpisingly slighted. One guy sorta looked back. I noticed some of the kids furtively glancing at me. Monique and Saffron were down by the stairway and had nothing to say, but I wasn't sure if they'd even seen me. I hoped not. After school, I headed to Gina's house to throw down on some songs. Lena showed up with her guitar about the same time, her dad giving us all a little salute before he drove away. Lena came across the grass, her head cocked to one side. The days were a lot cooler, so it wasn't as hot in the garage anymore. Gina still just wanted to talk about the Heidi confrontation. "I can't believe you did that. That was so rad, Mulan." "Yeah, I guess," I said. Secretly, I was lapping it up like a puppy dog. Or a smitten kitten. "So you're free from all that cheer stuff?" Lena asked. She was re- stringing her guitar, pulling a string through a loop with a pair of pliers. "Yeah, pretty much," I said. I was wearing her bass, the weight a lot more comfortable to me now and familiar. "But Heidi really hates you now," Sarah said. She sounded somehow mournful, as if we should regret the falling out of two such close friends or something. Sarah tended to live in the Kingdom of Pretty Rainbows. "And I hate her. So we're pretty even," I said. I was thinking about the other girls on the squad. They were probably still practicing and now the stunts were out of the question. They'd be one girl short. Oh well... "You're really getting to be famous, dude," Gina said. "If you think everyone was talking about it yesterday, today was off the hook. Quit cheerleading? Unheard of!" "Listen to you!" I jeered. "'Unheard of!' What are you, Sherlock Fuckin' Holmes or something?" "Elementary, my dear Wilson." "She means Watson," Lena said, rolling her eyes. "Don't tell me what I mean, bitch," Gina said, pointing a drumstick at Lena. Lena shot her a bird. "Are we gonna do this thing or are we gonna yak about Mulan committing social suicide?" Lena asked, but she knew the answer. "Probably more than just social," Gina said thoughtfully as she nibbled the cuticle on one of her pinkie fingers, drumstick still clenched in her fist and pointing up past her ear like an antenna. "The way she beat the snot out of our bassist here? It was like she beat us all up." I bit my lip and said nothing. Lena kind of shook it off, an annoyed look on her face. It was obvious she was running out of patience with us and itching to play so Gina clacked her drumsticks together one two three four and we ran through "Here Comes Your Man." I stopped a couple of times when I lost my place or started playing a run of the wrong notes, but Lena told me to keep going, to play it through. I tried to concentrate, to bear down and play perfectly, but that just caused more mistakes. "Okay, okay," Lena said as the last notes died away. "That wasn't too bad. Don't stop when you fuck up, Amy. Just keep playing." "Yeah," I said, nodding. You fucking said that already, I thought. I could feel my body temperature rising and this hot prickling all down my back. "I suck." "Oh, come on, dude. Don't get down on yourself," Lena said. We played for almost two hours, then I broke my G string and Lena didn't have a replacement, so we called it quits for the day. I went inside and Gina's mom gave me a glass of Dr. Pepper which I sipped on while I called home to get someone to come pick me up. The phone rang and rang and no one answered. "No one home?" Gina asked when I hung up. "Guess not," I said. "Are?" "Sarah and Lena are gone already." "Dude!" I said and jokingly waved my fists in frustration. Then I smiled and said in prim contrast, "I'll walk home then." "You want my mom or something to give you a ride?" "Nah. But maybe you can." "Shhh!" I laughed a little as I went out the door. Gina followed me out. "Practice tomorrow?" she asked. "Yeah. Why don't you come pick me up after school?" "Shut up, dude." I grabbed my books and gave Gina one last look and my heart started pounding and I actually felt a little light-headed. For a split second I thought it was just a head rush and then I realized it was because I was alone with Gina. No Sarah, no Lena, no parents. Just Gina and me and my heart thrumming away in my chest. Any lingering doubts vanished?this was definitely more than a crush! I'd done so well for myself the last couple of days, I briefly considered confessing my undying, desperate love for her. But she was smiling at me in this way that was uniquely Gina, kind of superior in a way, but not so much you'd dislike her. She was such a cocky kid, and it made me chicken out. In the same situation, I had no doubt my hero Michelle Cho would have pushed her against the wall and given her a hickey on the neck, but all I did was shake the dopey longing expression off my face while I desperately hoped Gina hadn't noticed. I felt so relieved when she didn't seem to. "See ya tomorrow at school," I told her over the sound of loudly buzzing cupids in my ears and set off down the driveway into the street before I did do something stupid. Behind me, Gina was closing the garage door, sealing the borders of our little all-girl musical kingdom until we needed it again. It was pretty late, with the sky a dark blue, not day, not night, and the air a bit cool, but nowhere near as cold as sitting in the bleachers watching stupid football games. My body was tingling all over with energy and I found myself thinking about Gina and what it might be like if we ever really did kiss. So I decided to hop like a bunny. Bounce bounce bounce I love Gina! Bounce bounce bounce I'm totally in love for the first time! That's what I was doing when I saw Heidi ahead, leaning against someone's car. At first glance she was like a gray ghost but as I got closer I recognized her and my heart did a little tap dance. She was alone, she was pissed and she had a look of pure evil on her face. If you ask me, whoever decided our team mascot should be a Blue Devil had Heidi in mind. At that moment, she was a massive hurricane, and I was the Dominican Republic. "Mind telling me what you think you're doing?" she asked. I stopped hopping and my face flushed hotly. Totally busted acting like a kid! "I'm going home..." "Hopping along the bunny trail?" I walked right at her, frowning, faking nonchalance. I'd been doing that a lot lately, so I was becoming extremely proficient at it. "I was just messing around." "I wanna talk to you." "Well, I don't wanna talk to you. We're done, Heidi." "No," she said. "Not by a long shot." I stopped and took a deep breath. "Fuckin' A, Heidi. Why can't you just leave me alone? I know you keyed your mom's car. Willis Wallace told me. He saw you do it." Her reaction: "That's crazy talk. Why would I key my own car?" "You tell me. Willis Wallace saw you." Heidi breathed out a long blast of air, her nostrils flared. Thin-lipped grimace, arms folded across her chest. But then she looked away, and that's when I knew I had her. She couldn't look at me. She said, softly, as if thinking out loud: "Willis Wallace is a nobody. No one's going to believe him over me. This is stupid." "As stupid as keying your own car to try and ruin someone's life? You may not like me, or the things I do, or the girls I hang with, but that's supremely fucked up, Heidi." When she looked back at me, Heidi was about to cry. Her lower lip trembled. I didn't expect that. I'd seen all sorts of hidden things about people in my school lately, seen life from a few new angles, and through the filter of all that, I suddenly felt sorry for this girl. As beautiful and popular as she was she must've been going through god knows what to do this kind of extreme shit. I let my body relax. I was probably about to say something nice to her. Big mistake. She suddenly shifted and then popped me right in the eye with her fist, a nice meaty thwack and a flash of light and fireworks-- a sickly squishy feeling and then a sharp stinging pain zeroed in on my eyeball. My knees kind of jellied on me and I thought I was going to fall down, but I just doubled over and took a couple of staggering steps while holding my eye. It had also shocked all thought from my brain but ow ow ow and the breath right out of me-- I couldn't speak though my mouth was hanging open in dismay, the grimacing as the hurt just kept rolling. "I hate you so fucking much," Heidi said, her voice a little crazy sounding. Of course I couldn't see her and didn't know if she was in front or behind. I still couldn't say anything and I didn't want to stand up straight. As long as Heidi only had the top of my head and my back to look at, I thought she wouldn't hit me again. The sharpness of the pain faded into anger and fear. The anger wanted me to punch Heidi back, but the fear wasn't having any of that nonsense. Breathing deeply, shaking all over with adrenaline, I let myself slowly come upright again, still holding my eye, grimacing, my good eye leaking tears. She'd sucker-punched me but I hadn't gone down. I had that at least. The only thing I could do was at least try to save a little face. I glared at Heidi and she looked like one of those time-lapse films about a partly sunny day. Her expressions were constantly shifting like the shadows of super-fast clouds over a green meadow. "I really really hate you," she said, but I thought there was the slightest choking sound to it. "Why?" I asked, my voice a little quavery. "Fuck you, Amy. That's why. You ungrateful little bitch." "Why?" I asked again. "I fucking said one stupid thing and you did all this and I'm supposed to be grateful? Why?" "I don't owe you an explanation. Like you said, we're finished now. Unless you wanna do something. Do you?" She made a little move towards me and I stepped back, total involuntary reaction, total flinch. Heidi gave a half smile and said, "Yeah, that's what I thought." Then she was walking away. Shakily, I assumed her position on the side of the car, my ass on the fender, cool metal through denim twill. I gingerly removed my hand from my eye and tried to blink. Then I lightly touched the skin all around it and it felt sore and puffy already. I had a little trouble keeping the eyelid open and the eye itself felt sensitive to light. Shutting it tight felt best, but even that was barely an improvement. A fucking black eye, that's what it was. Which was cool on one hand, but one the other, not so much considering the source. "Oh!" It was Heidi, from halfway down the block. I looked at her through my one good eye and she said something that chilled me: "You know what? You could've said no right from the start and you might want to start asking yourself why, if you haven't already. Instead, you played along and did everything I told you. Remember that, Hop Bunny. Always remember that you played along!" She whirled and started walking again, shoulders back, blond hair swinging. Oh shit, I thought. This is gonna be all over school tomorrow. And there's no way I can hide the result. I wasn't a cheerleader anymore and I didn't owe Heidi a fucking thing now. Only that last reminder proved she knew me better than I knew her and that hurt almost as much as my eyeball. Chapter Four: Amy and the Pussycats Mrs. Komori freaked out when I got home. First of all, it was like I'd betrayed the trust in me she'd shown by cutting short my grounding by coming home so late and with an injury of some kind. Second, my eye was really red and swollen and looked terrible, all of which she told me with this worried tone of voice. She got a washcloth and put ice in it, then had me lay down on the couch in the living room and hold it over my eye. She wanted to know who did it to me. "No one. Well, Lena kinda did," I lied. "We were playing and she kinda got excited and her guitar smacked me." "What were you doing with Lena?" Mrs. Komori asked, eyeing me doubtfully. "What about cheerleading?" "Um... I kinda... quit that yesterday." "Oh." "I meant to tell you." "But you forgot." "I meant to tell you but I was afraid to." Mrs. Komori looked surprised for a moment, then she stared at me, just thinking. I'm sure she was linking that new info with the black eye and coming to her own conclusion but she decided not to challenge me. I guess she thought I had my reasons. She said, "Baby, you can tell me anything. Don't ever be afraid to tell me the least little thing. Or, in this case, something fairly large. But why on earth did you go out for cheerleading in the first place?" "I thought I wanted to try it. But I didn't like it. So... I quit." "And where did you go yesterday and today? You were with Lena where?" "At Gina's. We kinda have this band now and we've been writing songs." Mrs. Komori was still peering at me very intently. She reminded me so much of Emily; they had the same facial expressions sometimes. She said, "Well, you need to tell Lena to be more careful where she slings her guitar." "It's rock'n'roll and all that," I said softly. I didn't want to continue the conversation and I was starting to feel like a little bitch for doing this to Mrs. Komori and lying about my eye. But what she didn't know wouldn't get my ass kicked again. "Okay," Mrs. Komori said. She brushed my bangs aside a little and added, "You need a haircut." Then she just asked me if I was hungry and I shook my head no. Mrs. Komori went and did some stuff elsewhere in the house and I lay there alone, feeling the wet burning cold of the ice through the terry cloth. My eye still hurt. I started shaking with anger, just wanting to kick Heidi in the face. Someone hates me, I thought. I wasn't sure if Darla had even hated me this much and I decided she hadn't or else I wouldn't even be there. Being a girl with a black eye was a lot better than oblivion, that much was totally clear. So this was what it was like to accept your destiny. It hurt. Just before bedtime, I took some Tylenol. I slipped under the covers with Heidi and Gina duking it out in my mind. I woke up the next morning and couldn't think of anything but Gina. "Oh shit," Sarah said when she saw me at school. "Yeah," I said. "Does... Does it look that bad?" "No," Sarah lied. I'd gotten a good look at myself that morning. The first thing I did when I woke up was look at myself in the mirror in my bedroom. My left eye was definitely black in the classic way. All puffy and dark and the eyeball itself was bloodshot a little. I looked like a little toughy. "Thanks, Sarah," I said. "Oh! Michelle is looking for you." "What for?" "She didn't say. She wants to tell you." "Everybody wants to tell me something, huh?" Then the bell rang and we had to split up for homeroom. People were already talking about my eye. I tried to slip into homeroom only to run into a wave of ironic applause. In first period, a couple of kids asked me what happened and I shrugged and then this one guy said, "Heidi Fleegleman happened." "What?" a girl asked. "Heidi Fleegleman kicked her ass again." They were talking about me as if I wasn't even there, so I stood up, grabbed my textbook and notebook and started to leave. But our teacher came in and made me sit back down. It was pretty much the same the rest of the day. Amy Komori quit cheerleading! Buttercup quit cheerleading! Holy shit, what a freak! Heidi Fleegleman got so pissed, she punched Amy in the face! I heard Amy keyed Heidi's mom's car. Oh yeah? If that's true, she deserved it. I don't think it's true. Why would anyone quit cheerleading? Amy's that weird girl who looks like a little boy? Yeah, that's her. I don't think she looks like a boy. She's got Natalie Portman hair! She's cute. She's ugly. I heard she was a lezbo. No way, she dates that skater dude who goes to Lee. No, dumbfuck, I heard she dates Willis Wallace. I heard she's pregnant with his baby. Holy shit, that kid's gonna be a Vulcan. Don't fuck with that girl. She parties with college dudes. After sixth period, I was at my locker feeling like a one-eyed pirate when a shadow fell over me and my first thought was, Heidi. I kind of flinched then looked. It was Superboy, the b-ball playing circus giant. "Wow, she really tagged you good," he said. Fucking tell me something I don't know, I rhought. I shrugged. "Look, I'm sorry," Superboy said. "Why are you sorry? Your girlfriend's the one who hit me." "I-I'm sorry she did that. That's why. You're like?I don't know. You really confuse me. Why did you quit cheerleading? Dude, why did you even join in the first place?" Yeah, that's the question, huh? I'm Amy Komori, I do stupid things. I told him, "I only did that in the first place because I wanted to see what it was like. Then I decided it sucked so I quit." "Heidi's pretty upset about it." "Yeah, I felt how upset yesterday. I fucking hate your girlfriend, Su?Brett." "I doubt she'll be asking you to be one of her bridesmaids, either." I had to smile at that. I didn't want to and tried to hide it but Superboy noticed and grinned back. "When's the big day?" I asked, feeling relaxed with him now. I stopped trying to hide the smile and showed it openly instead. "Hey," he said, "I'm not gonna be able to talk to you anymore. I just want you to know I don't like how she's treating you. I totally don't get... you know... anything about you or anything like that, but that doesn't mean I don't like you. I'm sorry we couldn't at least be friends or something." I started to say something really smart ass, but the poor guy was being sincere so I just said, "That's cool, dude. Sic transit gloria. Maybe we'll meet again someday. When the fighting stops." I flashed a peace sign. Superboy seemed satisfied and lumbered off into the stream of students. On my way to class, I met Saffron and Monique and they just pushed past me without even looking my way. I knew they'd seen me. So that's how it is, I thought. Then I remembered I needed to talk to Michelle Cho, so I ran to find her. I was hoping she hadn't left already. You never knew with her. I didn't often see her during the day, we didn't talk on the phone that much and the only sure thing was she'd be at the skatepark on the weekends, first there, last to leave. I didn't even know what classes she was taking?she never talked about them. Luckily, she was at her locker with Dallas. For some reason, she was doing these weird dance steps with this big metallic smile. Dallas was staring at her in this semi-amused way. While Michelle bobbed and weaved and giggled, I sneaked up on them. They were such a contrast. Dancing Michelle was wearing this ratty looking Metallica tee with a longsleeve tee under it. Dour Dallas was dressed like a blonde version of Winona Ryder in "Beetlejuice," minus the hat. She looked like a witch tired out from spell classes or something. "Hey," I said when I was close enough. "Oh man," Michelle said, freezing into this silly pose. Then she turned on me. "Lemme look at your eye!" "It's gross," Dallas said. "Heidi Fleegleman did that?" "What were you doing just now?" I asked Michelle and did a little shuffling copy of her moves she instantly poo-pooed with a mean little smile. "Something she saw on TV," Dallas said. "I didn't understand it, either." "Oh," I said. I might have understood it with a little more info, but apparently I wasn't going to get any. Michelle put her hands on my head and I let her turn it whichever direction she wanted. She looked both deeply impressed and highly amused. "That is fuckin' hardcore, Ayumi," she told me. I blushed with happiness. Dallas slumped against the lockers and chewed a cuticle. "What's this special thing you have to tell me?" I asked. "Oh yeah, cool. You remember Fuckin' Bob?" "Your boyfriend." "Yeah, my boyfriend, whatever. I was at Platters Sunday and I ran into him." Platters was this used CD and vinyl store downtown, the one we usually avoided because of the cheesy name and also because the owner was a total dick. I went in there with Emily one time and he was lecturing these two really thin guys with heavy black-framed glasses about Thurston Moore and Sonic Youth being sell-outs and when Emily couldn't find the CD she was looking for?she was going through this Possum Dixon phase?she was too embarrassed to ask them. So she told me to play up the little girl angle and ask?her theory being the guy wouldn't dare be pissy to a child-- and being stupid, I did... only to get shot down with this whithering stare and an icy, "We don't have that," which made me shrink to about two inches tall and Emily had to carry me home in her pocket. Metaphorically, obviously. But I fucking hated Platters after that. "Wow, great. Did you fuck him? Did that asshole guy who owns the place watch? He has major sex offender vibes." "No, I didn't fuck him, but I gave him your phone number. Dude, if you talk to Gina and everyone he'll let you guys open for his band at their Halloween show." "We?that's so cool!" "Are you even old enough to play?" Dallas asked. "Don't you have to be like 18 or something?" That stopped me in mid-joy. What the fuck? But she was right. I wasn't even 14 yet. There was no way any of the clubs downtown would let us in, much less perform. But then it hit me?all ages! Like when we met Fuckin' Bob. I was just about to ask, but Michelle Cho was right on top of it. "It's all-ages, Dally-doll. Must you be such a naysayer all the fucking time?" "Sorry," Dallas said sarcastically. "Tell him we'll do it!" I said a little over-enthusiastically. Of course there were some technical difficulties. One, we only had about 4 songs we could play all the way through. And by we, I mean the others plus me; Lena and Gina could've played a 10-song set easily and Sarah probably could have faked it, too. Two, I'd instantly taken it for granted the other girls would be down with the idea. And three, we still didn't have a name. Oh well, I thought cheerfully, I'll think of something!