My Wonderful Obsession 8 free porn video

My Wonderful Obsession Part 8: Makeup Lessons Phil had started attending college in Cincinnati that fall. He was studying kinesiology and physiotherapy, which he hoped would eventually help get him into a career in sports medicine. To me, that was a much better idea than trying to pursue a playing career, even though he was a great football and baseball player. Natalie was in her senior year of high school, and after graduation she was planning to take a practical nursing program. I thought that if the two of them ever got married they'd be very compatible! My relationship with Julia seemed to be progressing into something more than just friendship. I knew she liked me a lot, partly because of what happened when we first met, and maybe more so after our dress shopping episode and the dance that followed. I'm not sure why Julia was so smitten with me - I wasn't exactly a poster boy for male perfection - but the feeling was definitely mutual. Our attraction for each other was becoming sexual, too - the first time I'd ever experienced erections around a girl. There was something about her voice, her eyes, and her smell that I found thrilling. And she was looking after herself better, too - she didn't seem quite so chubby lately, and she was letting her dark hair grow longer. She even wore nicer eye makeup! Whenever Julia touched me I always got those wonderful tingles everywhere, and she told me she felt them, too. Love was definitely in the air! The fall meant voice lessons also got going again. By now I was nearly able to sight-read music as I was singing. Mrs. White was very supportive, but she was a real taskmaster when it came to achieving perfection. During the coming year she would start introducing me to the theatrical aspects of singing, like using my body and facial expressions to help convey the message in a song. For me this was more than wonderful ... I could see that goal of mine - singing in a stage production - becoming more than just a fond wish. And I was doing a lot of jogging these days. I was becoming concerned about my body shape, and I thought that running might help. My pants no longer fit like they used to - the waist was loose and they fit too snugly around my butt and upper thighs. I suspected that this was part of the effect the pills had on me, but it seemed like my body was changing a bit fast and I was worried about getting too large in certain places. Kath often ran with me, like she always had before. And she knew the reason I was doing more running now, judging by some of her comments. "So, how's everything going with you these days?" she asked one afternoon as we were jogging some park trails not far from home. "I mean, with your body. You still sound like a girl when you talk, and you don't look any more like a guy than you did last year. I don't see any hair on your face either." "Thanks for noticing everything, Kathleen!" I said with a pained expression. "It's a good thing you're my biggest fan, or I'd have to shoot you." "Well, smart aleck," she laughed, "you have to admit, every other guy in tenth grade has had their voice change by now, and they've all got at least some scraggly chin hair or a moustache. Are you just a little slow, or what?" "Let's call me a little slow," I offered. "I'm still pretty sure I've just delayed things by taking the Pill. But, hey, look on the bright side - I've made a lot of extra money 'cause I can look like a girl when I need to. So I'm not in any hurry to turn macho. As soon as I've bought my Mercedes, I'll be ready to go over to the dark side." "Maybe you should take the Pill a bit longer, so you can help me buy one too!" "Well, by my calculations, there's enough pills to last till next summer, then I'm all done. So you better hope we can earn enough for two Mercedes by then." "But I want the convertible, and that'll take a lot longer. Maybe I'll have to find you some more pills myself!" I laughed, "Sure, Kath, there must be more of them hidden in your house somewhere. I wish there was ..." She had that familiar scheming look in her eyes. "There's always more than one way to skin a cat." ***** The fall was great for working catering jobs too, and the Taylors seemed happy to still have me on their team. A new addition was Julia's little brother Shane, who was now old enought to help. We girls were back to wearing our normal outfits with white shirts and black skirts, but now I always wore a new white bra I'd bought, along with the white cotton panties I already had, and with the cooler weather I'd started wearing 'nude' pantyhose too. I had to hand wash all these items in my bathroom sink, and since the best place to hang dry them was on my shower curtain rod, my bathroom was starting to look like it belonged to a teenage girl. All I needed now was a bunch of cosmetics spread all over the vanity to complete the look! These days I was usually changing into my serving clothes and doing my nails before leaving the house, and even though I did my best to avoid letting Phil see me like that, inevitably we bumped into each other coming or going at the front door a couple of times. Amazingly, he didn't seem too freaked out to see his little brother in a skirt, but he never looked thrilled about it either. At least I'd been saving putting on lip gloss and fixing my hair for the venue, so I still looked like the Sandy he knew, but that would soon change too, and this time it wasn't my fault. One Saturday I was in my working outfit early, sharing a bite of lunch with Mom at our kitchen island, when the front door opened. I heard male and female voices, then Phil and Natalie walked into the kitchen. Natalie was her usual warm and friendly self, and she didn't even acknowledge my female appearance. We started chatting about my job and school - stuff like that. She asked lots of questions about how things were going with me, then she said unexpectedly, "Sandy, how come you don't use any makeup - a touch here and there would look great on you, you know." I was a little taken aback by her question, especially with my family present. "Well, it's not exactly necessary ... I seem to pass okay," I shrugged. "I do use lip gloss, and sometimes I do my nails ..." I held out my fingers for inspection. "They look nice. Do the other girls wear makeup?" "Oh, sure," I replied, warming to the subject. "Even my friend Julia's wearing decent makeup now - she looks way better these days than she used to. But I dunno, it's maybe a bit much for me, considering ..." "Well, why don't you let me try some on you? I promise if you think it's too much, you can just take it off, no problem. Do you mind, Mrs. Johnson?" Mom's sparkling eyes revealed that she wasn't against the idea. "I don't mind, Natalie, if Sandy doesn't. I'd like to see what he looks like too." I noticed she didn't ask Phil what he thought, and his rolling eyes gave away his opinion. At that point he excused himself and headed to the family room to find a football game on TV. But Natalie was all fired up. She fetched her shoulder bag from the front hall, and positioned herself in front of the stool I was sitting on. "Okay, darling," she said as she opened her makeup case, "close your eyes and sit still." She held my face and I felt her eyelid brush on one eye, then the other. Then she was drawing eyeliner above my eyes. "Open," she said, and she drew a line below my eyes too. "Now don't blink ..." and she started applying mascara to my lashes. The job was all done in less than five minutes. I saw Mom staring at me with wide open eyes. Natalie took a small mirror from her case and gave it to me. "Have a look!" she prompted. My hands were trembling as I took the mirror and for the very first time, saw a beautiful made-up female face in my reflection! I was thrilled, to say the least, but that's the last emotion I wanted to show. "Is that really me?" was all I could think to say. Natalie's quick eye job was perfect for me - definitely a 'less is more' result. But what would Mom think? And Phil?? Mom answered my question. "Yes, it IS you. I was kind of wondering how you'd look with a little eye makeup. You don't really need it, especially at your age, but it does make you look amazing, Sandy." "Thanks Mom ... I guess. I do feel a bit self-conscious though - but if you think it helps, I don't mind keeping it on tonight." Natalie spoke up, "Your Mom's right, you don't need eye makeup to look like a girl. But why not go the extra mile? Like I always say, have some nice clean fun!" Now that was a d?ja-vu moment - hadn't I said something like that to Julie last spring? And I was already leaning in that direction, but didn't know how and was a bit reluctant to push my dressing up to the next level. Natalie had just decided it for me! "Well, if you insist, but remember it was your idea, not mine!" I laughed. "Natalie, you're so nice - thanks so much for helping me. But you might have to give me some makeup lessons 'cause I don't have a clue how to do it myself." She nodded, "Sure honey, anytime. Just give me a shout and I'll pop over. But first you need your own makeup kit - why don't I take you to the mall and help you buy what you need? How's tomorrow for you?" Oh my God, I thought, she's being over-the-top helpful. "Are you sure? You're not too busy?" Natalie laughed, "Never too busy for my boyfriend's little sister! I'd love to help and I'm having a ton of fun!" I certainly had that impression - and Natalie was definitely into making everything she did fun. So she arranged a time with me, and before I got up to leave she whispered, "Oh, and make sure you don't look too much like a boy." That made sense, so I agreed. ***** That afternoon we did a wedding reception at a local community hall. All our clients were dressed very well, especially all the girls who were related to, or friends with, the happy couple. I saw some gorgeous dresses in all kinds of colors, and I must have imagined what it would be like to wear each and every one of them. And I was glad I was a little more presentable than usual - not only did I have my eyes done (which generated a lot of compliments from my co- workers), but Mrs. Taylor had some pretty accessories for us to wear. The wedding color was magenta, so we wore matching ribbons in our hair and around our waists, tied in bows at the back. When I visited the ladies' room I was totally blown away by how I looked in the mirror, and as you might guess I decided to do my eyes like that from then on - if I could learn how! The next day, Natalie came to pick me up at eleven. All I did to not look 'too much like a boy' was use lip gloss and clear nail polish, and arrange my hair like I usually did for work. Oh, and I had my white bra and panties on underneath, just in case. She seemed to think I looked fine, though. At the mall we marched straight to Dillards' cosmetics department, and Natalie greeted a pretty dark-haired girl who was working one of the counters. "Hi Keri!" The girl looked up and smiled. "Oh, hi Natalie. How are you?" "I'm good. This is my boyfriend's little sister Sandra." 'Sandra? Where'd that come from?' I wondered. "Hi Sandra, how are you doing today?" asked Keri as she sized me up with her eyes. "Fine," was all I could think to say. This was going to be different, I thought. "Sandra needs her own makeup kit. Maybe a few pointers too - she hasn't used makeup before," Natalie said to Keri. "Well, you came to the right place, sweetie. You've got two makeup experts to help you out today," Keri said, nodding towards Natalie. She was right - the two of them immediately began discussing what kinds of products and colors were best for my skin type and coloring. Soon I was perched on the stool with both of them taking turns trying different things on me, and explaining what they were doing and why. I got to see everything in a big mirror, and the best part was that they made the whole experience into a super training session for me. From time to time, other girls or women came by and watched approvingly for a minute or so. After what seemed like an eternity, but was actally just under an hour, we were all done. Not only did my makeup look spectacular, but I also had a stack of little boxes of everything from highlighter to mascara, and blush to skin conditioner, sitting in front of me on the counter. Keri pulled another, larger box from a display case, and told me I qualified for a 'gift' which included a large makeup case and a smaller one for travel, and even a carton of makeup remover pads. 'Whew! How much IS all this stuff', I wondered. Natalie answered that one for me. "Sandra, I don't want you to pay for this. It's a belated birthday present from me to you." "Oh, Natalie, I can't - all this must cost a fortune!" Keri spoke up. "Don't worry about it, Sandra," she smiled. "I can get staff price on everything, and besides Natalie and I had a great time using you for our guinea pig ... I mean model." Natalie nodded enthusiastically. "Oh yeah, you were just perfect. But now you're even more perfect!" She dug in her bag for her wallet and handed Keri a credit card. While the sale was being rung up, she looked at me and said "How about lunch? I'm starved after all that hard work." She looked at Keri and asked if she could join us, but Keri answered no thanks, she was the only one there that day to work that area. Then she bid us goodbye, with a "See you again, girls, have fun." Soon Natalie and I were dining on chicken salads in the food court. I gave her my sincerest look and said, "You're such a wonderful friend, Natalie. You know who I am and yet you don't seem to mind going all out to help me. How come?" She fixed me with a smile. "From the first time I met you, I knew there was something very special about you, Sandy. Maybe part of it's because you're such a wonderful singer, and I really wanted to do that myself. I'm not good enough, but you definitely are!" "Only until my voice changes," I interjected. "Maybe it won't. There've been some very successful male singers, like Wayne Newton, who had high voices. But I also really admire you as a person, and I like your style too. You always dress so well and you're always so clean - you should give your brother lessons! I've tried to convince him to tidy himself up, but you know Philip - he likes being who he is and he doesn't want anyone to change him. Typical male!" I laughed out loud. "I'll bet he'd change for you, Natalie. He's so crazy about you. He was never like that with any of the other girls he dated." I wondered if I shouldn't have mentioned all the other girls, but Natalie didn't seem to mind. "I think I know why he likes you so much." "And why is that?" she asked, leaning closer and lifting one of her perfect eyebrows. Here goes, I thought. "Well, I hope I can put this the right way ... number one, you're very smart. Number two, you treat everyone like they're really important. Number three, you laugh and joke a lot - you've got a beautiful smile, and you're so positive - I've never seen you even frown. Number four, you dress so nice - you're kind of a role model to me - and number five, you're such a beautiful person ... inside and outside." Her eyes were welling up with tears, so I grabbed her napkin and handed it to her. "Sandy, you know something? I don't really deserve all those nice compliments - but everything you said about me I could say about you too." She paused for a few seconds. "I wasn't going to say this before, but now I'm going to: the main reason I wanted to help you is because you're like a little sister to me. I don't have one, you know, and I always desperately wanted one - Sandy, I hope that didn't sound too weird ..." My heart went totally out to Natalie at that moment. "I guess I always wanted a sister too. And no, don't worry - if anybody's kinda weird around here, it's only me." She shook her head. "No, Sandy, you're being who you really are inside. There's nothing even remotely weird about that." "Funny, that's kind of what my friend Kath told me. And hey, what's with the new name you invented for me?" Natalie giggled, "Oh, it just popped into my head. I thought you should have a REAL female name for your makeup session." "Well, it IS nice. I suppose I can let you call me that, 'specially since you bought all those makeup supplies for me. But you'd better be careful using it around Phil. He's already spooked enough about all this." "Fair enough," she laughed again. "So, how much more time do you have?" "Oh, I dunno ... I have an essay I need to get done before bedtime tonight. That should only take me, like, a couple of hours. Why do you ask?" "Because we're at the mall and we haven't done enough shopping yet!" was her reply. "More shopping? Uh, like, what else do you have in mind?" "Anything you like! Isn't there something else you need, like another skirt, another top, maybe a fall coat? Jewelry? I'm your new clothing consultant, little sister, might as well use me!" I couldn't say anything for a few moments while I processed this great opportunity. Then I decided to go for it. "Well ... since you put it that way ... I was thinking about some clothes I could wear to and from my catering job. And a coat would be a good idea. But I'm paying, not you!" "Sure, if you say so, honey. Let's go back to Dillard's - they have a sale on right now." And off we went. Three hours later Natalie pulled her car into my driveway, and helped me with the shopping bags. Mom was doing some baking in the kitchen, and what a wonderful aroma! "Hi kids, how did it go?" she asked before looking up at me. When she did, I saw a look of pleasure cross her face. "Looks like you had fun." "Oh, Mrs. Johnson, it was SUCH fun. I have a new little sister," Natalie told her, putting her arm around my waist. I was wearing some of my new clothes. I had on a pair of snug-fitting black skinny leggings that covered my ankles down to my new patent- leather loafers (with a bit of heel), and a clingy blue-grey San Francisco-style cowl neck sweater that looked like a mini-skirt below its wide waist-height patent-leather belt. The outfit gave me a nice female form, especially at the hips. I absolutely loved it, and when I struck a pose with one hand on my hip and the other out to my side, Mom began clapping. We all sat down at the island and enjoyed a cup of tea and some fresh- baked muffins, while Natalie and I filled Mom in on the events of the day. I'd never felt so accepted as a girl. But soon it was time for Natalie to leave, and I saw her to the door. "Natalie, you have no idea how much today meant to me. The makeup lessons and clothes shopping were very nice, but spending time with you and getting to know you was just so wonderful - I don't know what to say. And thank you SO much for the gift." Now I was starting to cry. Natalie just gave me a huge hug, and with our cheeks touching, whispered in my ear, "Love you, Sis." "I love you too, Natalie." Then she was gone out the door. I took my shopping bags up to my room and laid the contents out on my bed. It was quite a haul - in addition to the clothes I wore home, there was a new black and grey check-pattern mid-length winter coat with a waist belt, two long-sleeve blouses, two tee shirts, a pair of stone-washed girl's jeans, and a matching jean skirt. Oh yes, and I now had my very own shoulder bag. I'd be able to go out dressed properly as a girl instead of just resembling one. In my bathroom I carefully put all my new cosmetics away on shelves and in drawers. The two makeup cases went on a shelf in my closet. Then I positioned myself in front of my big mirror and took a nice long look before having to change back to my usual self. My face was still intact with Keri and Natalie's handiwork, and I had to admit they were great makeup artists, even though it was a lot more than I'd have done on my own. But I could sure see my potential! Except for one thing - I grabbed one of my new lipsticks and applied it as I'd been shown, then stood in front of the mirror once more. That was better! Nothing like hot pink lips to set off my dramatic makeup job! I noticed one other thing about myself that I should have caught onto before. Either my shoulders were narrow, or my hips were wide, or maybe both? Other boys my age were the opposite. Maybe that's why this outfit looked so good on me - my body shape definitely seemed more feminine than masculine! I pulled off the sweater and replaced in with one of my new tee-shirts, then checked myself out again. Now the difference was even more obvious. My hips looked almost as wide as my shoulders, and I had a narrower waist. The nearly non-existent sleeves of the tight-fitting tee exposed a pair of long, slender arms, and the deep scoop neckline showed a lot of skin, making my upper body look even smaller. Turning sideways, I could see a pronounced round butt curving out noticeably from the small of my back. Adjusting the door so that I could look at the reflection of my entire backside in the vanity mirror, I was surprised at how prominent and rounded my butt looked - just like some of the girls at school. At that very moment, I felt a mini panic attack start to come on - my body really WAS becoming female, just like the other kid I read about. But after giving my head a shake I felt fine again. So what if that was happening? Like Kath said, it was me, and if I was going to look more like a girl than a boy, I'd just make a great adventure out of it. Or so I hoped I could - it might get very complicated! But the most important thing to me was, could I always look my best? After today, I knew I looked much better as a girl than I could ever hope to as a boy. There was one other small issue, I realized as my eyes scanned the front view again. Now that I only wore a tee shirt, there was nothing to hide my crotch area, and there was an obvious lump. It would be even more noticeable in jeans. So I changed into the jean skirt to put things right, at least until I could figure out a solution. I liked the new look, so much that I decided to stay that way for now and get working on my essay. An hour or so later, Mom knocked and entered to tell me dinner was almost ready. She must have been a little surprised to see me still dressed and made up, so she sat down on my bed to chat. "Sandy, honey, are you doing okay with all these changes?" she asked in a concerned voice. "I'm worried that things might be getting a little out of control." I stopped writing and turned to face Mom. "Well, to tell you the truth, I've been having some doubts too. I'm really having a ton of fun with it, but I keep asking myself the same thing, like, are things going too fast or whatever. I dunno ... it's just that everything seems to feel so right for me. Mom, are you like, worried that you're losing your son?" Mom smiled and shook her head a little before answering. "No, not really, dear. You are who you are, and I love you just the way you are. You do make a very convincing girl, and you know how much I wanted a daughter, so I have to admit it's nice having another girl in the house once in a while. But I just want you to be happy in whatever you do with your life. I was so very happy being married to your Dad, and then being a mother to you and Philip. That kind of happiness is what I wish for my children, more than anything." Then she added, almost as an afterthought, "But it would be wonderful if you both had children too." Now THAT was an interesting concept for someone like me - I wouldn't be a typical Dad, that's for sure. ***** That shopping trip with Natalie was just the first of several outings we had together. It seemed like she was willing to spend a lot of her free time with me, and I wondered if Phil ever got jealous! But he often had his head buried in his college studies or he was at a sports practice, so I guess I was the beneficiary of his full schedule. Natalie was an interesting person. One thing I'd noticed early on was her personal style - it was a lot like the models I'd seen in the store flyers and catalogs. When I was out with her I tried to emulate her style, and I'd wince when I saw other girls or women who made no attempt at looking remotely presentable - baggy tee shirts, poorly fitting jeans, or worse: sweatpants. And these were females who would probably look great if they put out just a little effort. I couldn't imagine why anyone who had been blessed with a female body wouldn't want to take full advantage of that. But Natalie was certainly one who did. Her clothes were often just casual, and she usually wore only a little makeup, unless she was out on a date with Phil, but she was always very healthy-looking and presentable, and her face always had a warm, friendly expression on it. The combination made her irresistible, in my opinion. What a lucky bum my brother was! I also have to admit I liked all the attention Natalie and I got from males. Heads were always turning whenever we were walking together, in the mall or along the sidewalk. In the coming years I'd get a lot more of that all by myself, but I never quite got used to it or took it for granted. ***** Mom's computer work was getting easier and easier for me, and I'd gotten so efficient at it that it only took me about three or four hours a week. I could now do pretty much all her day-to-day accounting for her, including bank reconciliation, monthly financial statements, and invoicing. One big improvement was getting an internet connection set up. That was new for our house, even though lots of other people we knew already had internet. I was able to go online to check her bank accounts and transfer funds between accounts when she needed that to be done. And soon I had my own email account, too. The internet was also a great source of information, as I found out when I did a search for something to wear that would eliminate my penis bulge when I was wearing my girls' jeans. There was this small thong called a 'gaff' which promised to do the job. I ordered one by mailing a check to the store in New York that carried them, and received my 'unmentionable' item a couple of weeks later. When I finally figured out exactly how to use it properly, the gaff worked almost perfectly and I was amazed at how smooth my crotch area looked with the jeans on. Another problem solved! From then on, I always wore the gaff whenever I was dressed as a girl, and I wore panties to hide it in case someone saw up my skirt. Another confession: I usually wore panties when I was my normal 'guy' self too - I just liked how they felt better than my old boxers. ***** Soon Christmas was just a few days away. Mom and I finished decorating the house, including the tree that Phil had brought home. He was getting better at choosing a good tree - this one wasn't anything like the poor 'Charlie Brown' specimens he used to pick. We got started on our Christmas baking as well. I usually made the goodies like cookies and gingerbread men, while we both worked on the Christmas cakes that we gave out as gifts. These were special times together for the two of us, and I'm very thankful for having that tradition as part of my life. On Christmas day we had our usual exchange of gifts. One of the packages with my name on it included the words "To be opened in private." After we tidied up the mess of wrapping paper, I took the box upstairs and opened it on my bed. It was a set of pajamas, quite obviously meant for a girl if the color, pattern, style and material were any indication. Inside the box was a note from Mom, saying "I thought you might like something new to wear in bed. Love, Mom." She was right about one thing - my existing pajamas, from Christmas three years earlier, were badly in need of replacing, but I never imagined I'd get new ones like these! ***** Life went on without much change for the next few months, except for my deepening relationship with Julia. I honestly found her to be irresistibly attractive - there was this amazing chemistry between us. But it was kind of one-sided when I was Alexandra, as I needed to be every time I worked a catering job with her. On those occasions, Julia would treat me okay, but no different than any other friend. But when I was Sandy the boyfriend, she would touch me a lot, hold my hand, and kiss me whever she could steal a private moment with me. And how I loved kissing her! The taste of Julia's soft lips was intoxicating to me, and I never wanted to stop. I think we both knew we were in love, but the existence of Alexandra was definitely causing trouble between us. For me it was a catch-22: I needed the income from my catering job, and I loved spending time as a girl, but the last thing I wanted to do was disappoint Julia and risk losing her. By winter's end I'd become so used to living a double life that, at home at least, I'd wear whatever clothing I felt suited my mood. But if I was helping Mom in the kitchen, I preferred being her daughter - after all, her frilly aprons looked better on me that way, and Mom seemed extra nice and talkative if I was wearing a skirt. At first Phil was noticeably uncomfortable whenever he saw me in girl mode, and that made me feel strange too, but eventually he got over it. He even got back into his good-natured kidding, including the familiar old 'You'll make someone a fine wife some day' comment. Natalie was at our house a lot, often helping Phil with some college assignment or just hanging out after taking in a movie. She and I continued to develop a closer relationship, and I suspect that she was mostly responsible for Phil's acceptance of me. A few times she took me out on a 'date' if Phil was tied up watching a game or hanging with his friends, and we always had a super time together. ***** Julia called to let me know that Prestige Catering was invited back to do the annual ladies' retreat at the big church again. When I told Mom about it, she said she already knew because Mrs. Taylor had called her to ask if she would be interested in working that job too, and that she'd agreed. I was more than a little excited at the prospect of having Mom work with me again, although I was a little apprehensive about what the speech topics might be. The event turned out to be quite wonderful. I got to serve the same group of middle-aged ladies I had looked after the previous year. They all remembered my name - I mean the 'Alexandra' version of it, and more than once Mom overheard them calling me that. They also complimented me on how much my looks had changed (for the better) and I made sure I was as gracious as possible with my thanks. While the main theme last year was marriage and family, this year it seemed to be about relationships with other women, including friends, parents, and female children. As before, I found it all very interesting and there's no doubt in my mind that it had a big influence on me. Mom was also paying attention, especially to all the anecdotes involving children. I found myself wondering what she was thinking when she heard stories about special experiences Moms had with their daughters. One woman talked about how she had three grown daughters, and when each turned sixteen the two of them had gone on a trip to Disneyland for a mother-daughter celebration consisting of fun, bonding, and of course shopping. The woman spoke about how much that trip cemented their growing friendship as women, not just as a parent and child. 'What a special thing to do together,' I thought. In a few months I'd be sixteen myself - how sad I wouldn't get to have that kind of experience! I'm sure I could see a tear running down Mom's face as she listened to the woman's story, and I felt so much empathy for her at that moment - it made me want to fill the 'missing daughter' role for her in whatever way I could, if she'd let me. On the way home, Mom and I were chatting about the retreat - all the amusing things that happened, how nice the women were, and that sort of thing. Mom remarked about how she was touched by the story told by the woman who took her daughters to Disneyland. "I wondered what you thought about that story," I said. "Did it make you wish you had a daughter, so you could do that too?" "Oh, Sandy, the thought did cross my mind. But I do have a daughter, in a way ... a very pretty one, too." She glanced sideways at me, still in my working outfit. I thought about what Mom just said for a moment, then told her, "Well, if you ever want to do something like that with me, I'm game!" Mom didn't answer, and I think she must have been mulling over a plan. But I'd have to wait a while to find out if I was right! ***** Mom had renewed her prescription for the last possible time - my pills were going to run out just before my birthday in July. That particular secret was still just between me, Mom and Kath. But there was no question in my mind that the Pill was changing my body. My little breasts were now big enough that I could trade in my training bras for real, but still padded, ones, and my nipples looked huge when they stood erect. I had to be careful what I wore on top in guy mode, and sometimes I used a wide band of cotton around my chest to flatten my breasts. Kath and I had gone shopping again to buy me real bras, and now I had four nice ones of different colors and styles. Ever since I'd noticed my wide hips and narrow waist in the fall, I had kept track of them with a cloth measuring tape. My hips were now more than an inch larger around than they were then, although my waist was still the same - except that the narrowest place seemed a little higher. Maybe that's because I was higher - I was now five-foot-six in bare feet - two inches taller than my Mom! But if any real proof was needed, you could hear it in my voice. It still hadn't gone 'mannish' like every other boy's, although Mrs. White could detect a slightly lower register which she said only made my singing more powerful and distinctive. I could hit any alto note and into most of the soprano range, so pretty much any song a woman could sing was fair game for me. Singing low enough to sound like a male was uncomfortable, though, so I avoided it if I could. My longer hair and feminine facial features were usually enough for others to mistake me for a girl, but if I opened my mouth that clinched it, so if I was out in boy mode I did my best to lower my voice. But it was definitely getting harder to fool people. So I started tying my hair back in a short ponytail - that way I looked like a lot of other guys, and since I didn't wear an earring or have ear piercings, I hoped other people would assume I was a guy if I was dressed as such and kept my mouth shut. Mrs. White's spring recital was another thing altogether. This year she decided to go along with some parents' suggestions and have a Broadway musical theme. Students could pick their own music and have Mrs. White approve it, or they could just have her pick it for them. That's the route I decided on, since I couldn't come up with a male song that was in my range. At my next lesson, she showed me several possible options, and I tried singing parts from each of them. Mrs. White's expression told me she was frustrated. "I don't know, Sandy, your voice isn't appropriate for any of these pieces. And these were the only male songs I could find that I thought might work for you. I have lots of women's songs in your range, but I'm sure you wouldn't want to sing a female part." 'Oh, brother,' I thought. 'Here we go again ...' I took a deep breath, and said, "Mrs. White, I'll sing anything I need to so I don't miss out on the recital." "I thought you might feel that way, but there's another problem - everyone's wearing a costume appropriate to their song. I don't think you'd want to wear women's clothes, would you." That was more of a statement than a question. I looked at her with one eyebrow raised. "Mrs. White, take a look at me. If I wore a dress would anyone think I was a boy? I don't look much like one and I sure don't sound like one." She looked a bit taken aback by my attitude. "No, I suppose you're right. But I certainly wouldn't want you to feel pressured into doing anything you'd be uncomfortable with." "You don't need to worry about me - I'll do whatever I need to do, as long as I get to sing something that's challenging. I love to perform, so I'm sure I'd have no problem with a dress - after all, in theater everyone plays somebody they're not." Mrs. White looked at me with an amused smile. "Well, Sandy, this is a first for me. But I know what you can do, so let me find something for you, unless you have some ideas of your own." "Sure, I can come up with a few songs I'd like to try. I'll let you know this week." My first call when I got home was to Uno Who. "Kath," I said excitedly into the receiver, "I get to do a Broadway song for my recital. You gotta help me think of a good one. Oh, and it needs to be a female part. One that has a nice costume." "Whoa, hang on. You mean that old Mrs. White wants you to sing in a dress? Is she going senile? "No, silly, it's just the way it has to be. But I wasn't exactly against the idea, either." "What a surprise. Okay then, why don't you come over and we'll go through our videos and stuff for ideas." "Great - see you in a minute!" Kath and I went downstairs to her rec room where the TV and all their video tapes and old LP records were stored on shelves. She started on the videos while I looked through the records. After only two minutes, Kath announced "Got it! Why didn't I think of this one before?" "Think of what?" I demanded. "This song's perfect for you - it will be loverly!" She had 'that' look in her eye. "You mean from My Fair Lady?" "You've got it - your big Broadway musical debut, Eliza." Okay, I thought, could I do that song? Could I do Audrey Hepburn? Why not? "That's brilliant, Kath! Let's put it on now and go over it." "I think we've got that musical on a record too," she said, and we both sorted through the Thomas's soundtrack albums until we found it. In no time we were both singing at the tops of our lungs, reading the words from the record jacket. "Good thing Mom and Dad didn't give all these away when we got our CD player," said Kath. "So you're supposed to wear a costume, right?" I nodded. "Well, this one ought to be fun - it's all rags, isn't it?" "Not THAT ugly, I hope," was my reply. I was kind of looking forward to doing a female part, and I didn't want to waste the opportunity because of crummy clothes - me, especially! "Let's check out what she's wearing in the video," I suggested. Kath turned on the TV and plugged in the tape, then fast-forwarded to Eliza's first song, 'Wouldn't It Be Loverly'. We watched it twice, and I decided I could live with the costume, even though it was pretty tattered looking. I'd need a hat, too, knit gloves with holes for my fingers, and boots with a bit of heel. I didn't even realize it at the time, but I was preparing for my first- ever appearance on a 'stage,' in a costume, singing a song from a musical in front of a live audience! To be continued ....