Kobold
- 4 years ago
- 45
- 0
I Am Nine Years Old free porn video
I am 9 years old
I am nine years old. It is Visit day, and I used to be scared of them.
Sometimes I was even angry. But now I feel nothing. Nothing but what HE
has told me to feel. I do nothing except what HE tells me to do. I am
only a toy, and as I must make sure to remind myself in so many ways
that this is, after all, all my fault.
My instructions before each Visit are very clear, and I follow them
without thinking. Thinking is something people do, and as I said, I am
only a toy. I must prepare myself as HE has told me to before I enter HIS
door.
At one time, that was a hard task for me, but not now. The flickers of
shame and disgust at myself I experience are permitted, so long as they
don't prevent me from completing my task.
My mother smiles at me as she drops me off. She has no idea what goes on
inside. Nor can I tell her. How could a nine-year-old boy tell his mother
he is evil?
It has been two years since my first Visit, but I cannot recall most of
them, except in short flashes. I do know that today's Visit is supposed
to be special. something that HE has been preparing for since HE first
learned what I am.
HE brings me into HIS office, and sits me in a chair. This little act of
normalcy is important, in case my mother suddenly returns for me. One
thing I remember from one of the early Visits was hoping that this time,
talking would be all we did. I know better now. Toys do not hope , they
only serve.
HE gives me my dose of medicine, and I remember the first time HE gave it
to me. I was a little reluctant to take it, but Mother had told me to
trust the doctor, and I knew doctors gave you medicine to make you feel
better.
HE had told me it would help me relax, and it does. I feel sleepy and I
began to tell him things I had not told anyone, not even my Mom.
I told HIM that I felt more like a girl than a boy, that I wanted to grow
up to be pretty just like my mother, and I could not imagine ever being
like my father whose suicide had brought me to see HIM.
The next Visit, HE gave me the medicine again and , HE asked me if I had
worn my mother's clothes. I say yes. HE brings out a pretty dress and
asked me if I wanted to put it on. Because of the medicine I can only say
yes.
I felt very pretty in the dress. I was still sleepy, but I felt good,
maybe better than I had ever felt in my life. HE took some pictures, and
then HE told me to change back into my own clothes before my mother came
back.
It was on the very next Visit He showed me what happens to bad little boys
who want to be girls. When HE was finished I bled, and HE said I had bled
like a girl and I was no longer a virgin.
But then I am back to the present, because I must concentrate on pleasing
HIM like a good toy must. HE has told me I had seduced HIM and must follow
through and not be a tease. I call myself a sissy slut. I had not known
those words until HE taught me what they meant.
I also must admit I enjoy our Visits. I also say I seduced HIM by being a
sissy slut, and that its all my fault because I wanted to be a girl. How
because of that I am only worthy of being a toy. How I would punished if
anyone knew how bad a boy I am. And how that would hurt my mother. I
cannot hurt my mother.
As our Visit comes to an end, I put on my clothes again and repeat what I
had said again and again until HE is pleased. HIS pleasure is my pleasure.
That is how a toy should think.
When HE first started having me do this, the medicine HE gave me helped me
see them as true, and I can say them with conviction.
I wait for my mother to come for me, and when she does, I return to the
empty state I am between Visits. Only during Visits do I feel anything at
all.
I not know that soon I will not be seeing HIM anymore.
I also do not know that the desire to be a girl will remain and grow
within me until I have to let it out.
I do not know the guilt I will feel when it does, until I unlearn what HE
taught me.
I do not know that I will forget HIM almost completely for a time.
I do not know I will ever hate HIM, or blame HIM instead of myself.
I do not know I will ever think of myself as anything other than a toy, an
evil sissy slut.
I do not know I have not been alone during my Visits, that heavenly
messengers have stood watch over me, and that they and God will comfort
me as I face these memories.
I do not know that one day I will have to come face to face with the girl
within.
I do not know she is loved and is going to be loved.
I do not know she is something valuable and precious.
I do not know she is beautiful.
I do not know these things yet.
Because I am just nine years old.
Wynona
- 13.03.2022
- 17
- 0
