Sex on the beach under the Super Moon
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The footer at Penthouse Gold stamps a 2008 copyright date on the joint, which means it’s old as hell in Internet years. I bet all the old fuckers remember the Penthouse name from long before that, though. The brand got its start as an old-school paper porn rag in England way back in 1965, and I know some of you had your first fap to your dad or your grandpa’s copies hidden under his mattress. Before the Internet, these guys were some of the biggest names in the business alongside Playboy and Hustler.
Of course, smut has changed a lot over the last 56 years. The older institutions no longer have nearly the sway they used to, and there are younger masturbators out there who think of Penthouse as an antiquated brand for old guys who need Viagra to stay hard. Maybe they’re onto something or maybe they just don’t know any better. PenthouseGold.com is a modern premium site from one of the most famous brands of twentieth-century filth. Let’s see how it holds up to other modern paysites.
A Modern Take on a Classic Brand
As a guy who reviews different porn sites literally every day, I can’t help noticing the slightly outdated format out front at PenthouseGold. It’s not ugly, but it lacks the in-your-face flash of some of the newer paysites. The logo is classic, but I think even the older masturbators out there will agree that it looks a little old and busted these days. Even some minor tweaks to the color scheme might help bring the layout into the modern era.
General presentation aside, I definitely like all the pretty girls I see all over the page. Penthouse is the kind of established brand models are no doubt eager to be associated with, if only to further their careers. There are top-shelf beauties all over the fucking place. Blake Blossom, the Penthouse Pet of the Month for December 2020, shows off her tits in a fancy-ass grotto pool. Vanna Bardot is on her knees with her ass up, demonstrating how she won the honor in January. Gianna Dior, Nicole Aniston and Gabbie Carter are other recipients of the distinction.
There a thumbnails galore from new flicks with newer starlets like Emily Willis, LaSirena69, Rina Ellis and Clea Gaultier. What I wasn’t expecting was all the vintage babes on the menu. There are Penthouse covers from decades past halfway down the tour page. Take a fap through history with Diana Van Laar (Penthouse Pet from December 1990), Brandi Lee Braxton (December 1994), Nanna Gibson (February 1998), or newer Pets like Nikki Benz (April 2010).
Poking around a bit, I can see that while they do have a lot of VHS-era vintage sex videos in the library, some of the older chicks only have galleries on PenthouseGold. According to the front-page stats, the full site contains over 10,000 videos and galleries. I typically tend to gloss over the galleries on paysites, because nowadays they’re often just auto-generated screengrabs meant to inflate a site’s content numbers. Penthouse is a classic skin rag, though, who originally made a name for themselves with nude photo spreads. The galleries here reflect that timeless still style, and will appeal to true fans of erotic photography.
Another element that might be a throwaway on other sites are the exclusive Penthouse stories. The younger perverts out there probably don’t even know about all the dirty little stories people used to send to the skin mags. Most of them were lies, but goddamn, were they fun to read. I know most of you are going to skip right to the PenthouseGold videos, but I bet grandpa flips through the letters first.
Costlier Than Paper, Cheaper Than Digital
I’ll be honest: I’ve never bought a physical copy of Penthouse. My old man had stacks of them, but we had AOL by the time I was in eighth grade. By the time I was old enough to buy my own smut and willing to shell out for something better than the free sites, the Penthouse brand already felt outdated. Reality porn was taking off in a big way at the start of the 21st century, and the timing of Penthouse Gold’s launch coincides enough that it feels like their attempt to grab back a piece of their former glory.
Now, even though I never bought a copy of the paper magazine, I do remember how expensive physical media could get. A PenthouseGold.com membership falls somewhere in the middle: it’s more expensive than a magazine subscription, but cheaper than most modern paysites. At $25 for the regular membership with lower rates for yearly or 3-month plans, it’s way more economical than trying to track down vintage copies of the originals.
Even if you did have the scratch to buy all the original magazines, VHS tapes and DVDs, you’d be missing out on the updates. PenthouseGold promises exclusive daily updates. A lot of the smaller paysites and even some of the bigger ones have been struggling under the social distancing demands of COVID-19, but what do you know? These classic smut peddlers are still banging them out!
I’ve mentioned the old-school vibes on the site, a vibe that extends to their download policy. While a lot of the newer outfits cut you out or charge you extra to save MP4s, a subscription here includes unlimited streaming and downloads on any devices. The original Penthouse appealed to porn collectors stacking magazines beneath their beds, and Penthouse Gold keeps the tradition alive for perverts who like to keep their hard drive full of masturbatory fodder.
Fresh Penthouse Porn on the Daily
Once I got all signed up and logged in to PenthouseGold.com, it was hard to know where to start. Should I dip into the videos, the galleries, the classic vault or the archive of over 600 Penthouse Pets, both vintage and modern? I figured most of you guys are going to check out the newest movies first, so that’s where I headed.
They ain’t lying about the daily updates. Penthouse Gold has added at least one new movie every day this month. Yesterday they added a new flick with Alex Sanders getting fingercuffed, and the day before that, it was Rina Ellis getting her little Asian pussy stuffed. I decided to start my official fap test with today’s update, starring Clea Gaultier.
I’ve seen too many paysites out there that do daily updates and then skimp out on the length, serving up 3-minute sample packets that barely give you enough time to lube up. That clearly ain’t the case here, as Clea Gaultier’s Threesome Fantasy runs a strong twenty minutes long. I hit Play and the camera panned by London’s Big Ben before showing Clea doing some ballet moves near the water. There’s a sexy little voiceover about how she wants to taste her dance partner, followed by a stylish black and white montage of ballet.
I skipped ahead a few minutes. The music was gone and the color had come back, and Clea had her pretty mouth wrapped around a dude’s boner. She moans and bobs her head, jerking him off and sucking his balls. The girl is fucking gorgeous and clearly loves sausage. Once the dude bends her over a chair and starts hitting it from behind, our third participant strolls in with his dick out.
One of the major elements that always separated Penthouse from Playboy was the hardcore action, which is on clear display here. Instead of just showing off naked ladies in a classy way, Penthouse Gold continues the Penthouse tradition of showing them sucking, fucking, and just generally having a fun, filthy time. By the end of Clea’s movie, she’s got wads of sticky cum dripping all over her face and tits as she cleans up her guy friends with her mouth.
PenthouseGold.com does justice to the classic brand name, bringing them into the modern era with a site that absolutely stands up against modern competition like Brazzers, Reality Kings and Team Skeet. The library takes you on a deep dive with vintage videos and original photo spreads, and keeps it fresh with new movies starring some of the current big names in naked ladies. Something tells me these guys will still be going strong in another 56 years.
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You grab my naked ass with your hands and dig your nails into me. Those pretty pink nails tear my skin, as I continue crushing my pelvis and hips in-between your passion humid thighs. I moan, "Damn this pussy is so good." Simultaneously, you clench the muscles of that addictive cougar pussy.It is obviously that you intend to prove to me you can still fuck better than any woman my age or younger. My Cock may be monstrous, but you can take me head on, and you know that I like that about you. You...
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HardcoreIt was a small arena, a basketball court in reality, but it was a sellout crowd. Dave’s comeback had a lot to do with that. He still had a small following; fans from the old days and others who wanted to see what kind of shape he was in. It was one of those occasions where someone on the undercard out drew the main event. The dressing room on the night of a fight is alive with nervous energy. Movies would have you believe that all fighters have a private dressing room, but that’s not the way...
Mary and the door-to-door salesman For the past five years, I've been married to a beautiful woman, several years younger than myself. Mary has the kind of face and figure men dream about. She is now thirty-six years old, stands five feet five inches, and weighs about 135 pounds. Her measurements are a stunning 37-28-38. Her tits are firm and full, with very large nipples and she has wide well-rounded hips that have a seductive sway when she walks. Mary is a perfect lady, well dressed and well...
When I was staying with my girlfriend in her shared flat in London, I finally realised how entranced she is by huge dicks. I've known for a few years that Mei gets really turned on by seeing or talking about bigger than average cocks, but until this weekend, it was just that - talk. I never really thought she would act on her sluttier impulses outside of our own bedroom, but perhaps she only needed the right lure. Last night I woke up alone in Mei's bed. This was a little strange because she...
Serendipity Park – Georgia As told by Emily I was so thankful the first time a race began because Jessie had to stop talking. Uncle Evil was pulling double duty as the master of ceremonies. There were only about twenty-five spectators watching but he acted like he was speaking to a much larger crowd. “I want the race to be fair, honest, but most of all very, very dirty!” he grinned wickedly. He made a lot of puns and jokes while the racers got set up. He told everyone that his favorite part...
The two nude young teenagers lay on the floor, Kendra was moaning as her fifteen-year-old sister started nibbling at her little bud. Kendra was amazed that her younger sister seemed to know what she was doing, because she knew her sister had never had sex before the men took them captive, and certainly never had lesbian sex. The older sister could feel her body responding to her younger sister’s tongue. As good as her sister’s tongue felt, and even though she knew she was going to have an...
Sex, life, & Coca-Cola Two friends meet after many years and talk about their past life. One asks the other: “And how’s your sex life”? “Same As Coca-Cola” “Oh great! ... Full of bubbles, eh?” “Nothing like that! Before it was ‘CLASSIC’, then it became ‘LIGHT’ and now it is ‘ZERO’! This one is compliments of Joe Smart! An engineer dies and goes to hell. After a while, the engineer gets dissatisfied with the level of comfort there and starts designing and building improvements....