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Penis Types

1. Expensive Penis:
Not many penis fall into this definition. Expensive penis can be recognized by the following - suit and tie, nice vehicle, expensive watches, and well groomed.
Advantages: when you close your purse and make him pay for your dates he’ll disappear.
Disadvantages: his mother will fall to her knees and beg you to take him away.

2.Cheap Penis: Is not rare at all, they live with their parents and take the bus. Because they don’t have a job to buy a car.
Advantage: once his many sources of borrowed money runs out he’ll go away.

3. Hired penis: This penis is found in southern climes of Florida and other cities and ports around the world where older women with a lot of money pay this type to chauffeur them about said cities. This penis is shallow and lonely. Stay far away from said penis

4. Virgin penis: Advantages None: disadvantages: Can be found in lower grade schools. They are already plotting for their “ coming of age “ Stay far away from them.

5. Nymphomaniac Penis. Non-existent. The word “ Nymphomaniac “ refers to the female sex only, of course it was created to label any woman who actually enjoyed sex by the academic institutions headed by men.

6. Frigid penis: this penis can be found standing outside of it’s igloo in the artic regions because he would not yield to his wife’s headache.

7. Innocent nymphomaniac penis: This penis never existed may possibly be found in another planetary world.

8. Party penis: this is a fun loving great penis to dance with and he’ll buy your drinks all night long, then take you him home where your body just knows it will get the sexual release it needs. Until he gets sick on his porch. You roll your eyes and phone a taxi.

9.Nutsy penis: his nuts hang lower than his penis causing an immediate urge to giggle. Any attention you administer to this penis will only lead to it’s owner looking crossed eyed
And shouting NO, NO NOT AGAIN as he prematurely ejaculates over himself.

In conclusion this author’s quest for the “ Perfect Penis “ only led to tears of laughter and holding my tummy as I rolled on the floor slapping my thighs in hysterics !!!

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