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My Wonderful Obsession Part 15: The Great Outdoors It was now over a month since I'd 'changed sex' for the summer. Guess what - it didn't take me more than a week to get settled into my new routine. No surprise there - I already had a lot of practice! What did surprise me was how quickly Mom got with the program and just called me Sandra. I decided that this name suited me better in casual situations that Alexandra - not only did it save two syllables but I loved how nice it sounded when other women said it, especially Mom and Natalie. I also liked the verbal reminder that I was only a girl now. But I definitely didn't want or need any more reminders of my true sex, so my boy clothes were the first to go - into storage boxes and onto shelves in the basement. Part of living full-time as a girl, I had decided, was to not have any masculine clothing items in my closet or drawers. Another part was to change up my bedroom d?cor, which I always did anyway for summer. Except this time I added some 'nicer' touches like silk flowers and a new set of bed linens, with a pretty floral pattern and scalloped trim. I did everything I could (within my budget) to help myself to not just look like a girl, but to feel like I was one too. That meant adopting some new habits and behaviors. Most mornings my routine involved washing my face and applying just a little makeup, like some eyeliner and mascara, then slipping into a pair of cotton panties, a short jean skirt and a tank top. Usually no shoes, though - just a pair of flip-flops. That would do for activities around the house or hanging out with Kath in the summer heat. But if I was going somewhere like the supermarket or drugstore, I preferred to wear a sundress and some dressier sandals - oh, and definitely a bra! I'd finish the look with my big movie-queen sunglasses, which would be pushed up to the top of my head like a hairband while in the store - that was a neat trick I'd seen many women use, and I always thought it added an extra touch of glamor and sex-appeal. Other guys must have thought so, too - and having males give me the 'eye' was just another aspect of being a girl that took some getting used to. But there's no doubt in my mind that male attention fed my ongoing obsession with my appearance, and by then I knew very well that I looked my best as a girl. By the time my birthday rolled around, I was feeling more and more comfortable with my gender change, and my tendency to make mistakes like using the wrong restroom was a thing of the past. And my speech and mannerisms had become a lot more like those of a typical girl, according to Kath who never missed a thing and always made sure I knew she didn't. One afternoon while we were soaking up some rays in her back yard she felt the urge to comment on how feminine my voice and hand gestures were whenever I spoke. "I'm not sure about this new you," she said, eyeing me critically. "You're going awfully girly on me these days. You even sound different - like, your 'S's are so ... I'm not sure what the right word is ..." "You mean 'pronounced'? Yeah, you're probably right. I think maybe I'm like, unconsciously emulating how other girls talk." "Unconsciously emulating? Wow - did your shrink tell you to say that?" I laughed, "Naw, I haven't seen him since last winter. But I have another appointment with him next month, so I'll be sure to impress him with my new vocabulary!" "Not to mention your new look," Kath giggled. "Bet he hasn't seen you in a dress before!" "Or with long hair," I added. "But you're right. That could be a little different." I shrugged, "Oh, well - he'll just have to suck it up, 'cause I'm not gonna put on a stitch of boy clothes till summer's over. That means nothing with pant legs." "Oh, you aren't? And exactly what do you plan to wear on the hike this Friday? A ball gown?" "Oh crap - you're right, I guess I'll have to wear shorts. But none of my old ones fit me anymore." "You can borrow a pair of mine if you like, and I've got some old tee shirts too ..." "I dunno," I snickered, "tomboy clothes might not be the look I'm going for." I immediately regretted saying that. "Aren't YOU nice!" Kath pouted with what I hoped was only mock indignation. "I offer to share my wardrobe with you and you insult my taste in clothes." "I'm SORRY!! I'd be HONORED to borrow your clothes," I quickly backpedalled, just to be on the safe side. "After all, they can't really be boys' if they've only ever been worn by a girl, can they?" "I'm not sure I want to help you out anymore - you aren't groveling very convincingly." I thought I'd better do as she asked. "Oh, Kathleen, my dearest-ever friend, who I admire more than anyone in the whole world, could you find it in your heart to take pity on poor little-ol' me and let me borrow some of your wonderful, stylish outdoor fashions? Pretty please??" "Say 'with sugar on top'," she ordered. "With great big spoonfuls of sugar on top!" She pursed her lips and fixed me with a suspicious stare for a moment, then said, "Okay, but you're not allowed to say one disparaging thing about my clothes, ever again. And I get to hike with Mark." "WHAT??" Now it was MY turn to act offended. "But I thought you liked BEN." "I do," Kath replied haughtily, "but I like Mark too. Anyway, I don't think you've done enough penance yet, so if you don't get to hike with your big honey-boy, maybe you'll have lots of time to think about how you can be nicer to your best friend." Kath was right, as I concluded later after giving our years-long friendship a lot of thought, just as she'd hinted I should. More often than not, it was all about me and my 'problems'. And Kath had always been there for me, even when I was all head-over-heels in love with Julia. She was never judgmental about my gender issues, either. And even though I'd never felt a boy-girl attraction to her, I knew that I loved her more than anyone in the whole world. So I resolved then and there to be the kind of friend to her that she'd always been for me. ***** Mark and Ben picked up Kath and me on Friday morning at about nine. I felt decidedly dressed-down for the hike, since I did end up wearing the two borrowed items - a pair of khaki walking shorts and an old loose- fitting light blue heavy cotton tee-shirt, which wasn't too bad as it allowed me to go braless without telltale bumps showing. On my feet I wore the same tan-colored tennis sneakers I always walked in, and a pair of matching socks folded down at the top. But at least I knew there wasn't any chance of being mistaken for a male - not with my smooth, feminine-looking legs and of course my long hair, which for today I had tied back in a ponytail - but I also avoided looking decidedly female by not wearing any makeup, nail polish or jewelry, not even my ear studs. We drove for about an hour to East Fork State Park, chatting all the way, and found a spot to park the Corolla under the shade of some big maple trees. After applying some sunscreen, we shouldered our daypacks and set out on one of the park trails with Mark in the lead. Even though it was still mid-morning, the temperature must have been close to ninety in the direct sunlight. Was I ever thankful that we were hiking mostly under a leafy green canopy, as it felt noticeably cooler in the woods, and besides I didn't bring a sun hat. The smells of the forest were almost intoxicating - more like a perfume fragrance, even though there were few flowers, just mainly hardwood trees. The wonderful aroma immediately put me in a good frame of mind, and I forgot my apprehensiveness about going on an outing with these two guys. The first six months of 1998 had been so crazy busy that this was my first hike of the year. At least I'd been able to stay physically active with dance classes and a running a few times, so I wasn't too worried about being able to keep up with my friends. But the two guys had longer legs and soon Kath and I were lagging behind, so they decided to put us in front. I thought that wasn't a bad idea, although now, with me in the lead, I was worried once again. "Am I going too slow?" I called back. "I don't wanna hold you guys up." "Nah," replied Ben, who was now behind Kath, "we're good. Mark was going too fast before and I was starting to work up a sweat, so it's better if you're up front keeping us all going the right speed." "Whaddya mean I was going too fast?" Mark objected. "I'm just trying to keep you from stepping on my heels, you turkey!" Kath was laughing, "Mark, I can totally sympathize. Sandy is ALWAYS bumping into me when we're out jogging. You should see all my bruises!" "That's because you're always stopping to pet stray animals! If you'd just keep moving, you wouldn't get hurt." "Why don't you just run in front of her?" Ben asked me. "That's 'cause she's AFRAID of stray animals," Kath kindly answered on my behalf. "Hey, Sandy, be sure and let us know if you see any bears up front. If we need to start running we want a heads-up." "BEARS?" I exclaimed. "Nobody told me there were bears in this park!" "Don't worry, Sandy, they're nocturnal," said Mark, not very reassuringly. "And Kath, you can't outrun a bear, you know." "I know that," she told him, "I only have to outrun Sandy!" "Now do you guys see what kind of friends I have?" I asked in my best poor-me voice. "She'd let wild animals eat me! Whatever happened to sacrificing your life for others?" "That's exactly what you'd be doing for us, Sandy. Dying so we could live! Guys, don't you think Sandy's sacrifice would make us survivors better people?" "I'd remember her fondly for the rest of my life," said Mark. 'Thanks a lot,' I thought. "I'd put flowers on her grave every month," added Ben, "that is, if there was enough left of her to bury." As you can tell, by now everyone was totally at ease and having a good time, even if it was at my expense. Well, I suppose we'd have had an even better time if the flies and mosquitoes hadn't found us. They only got to torment us for a few minutes before Mark pulled a can of bug spray out of his pack and gave Kath and me a good shot of the strong- smelling chemical all over. Then he and Ben used it on themselves. So much for enjoying the fragrance of the forest! An hour or two into our hike, we came to an exposed hillside where there was not only a welcome breeze, but a good view of East Fork Lake and surrounding landscape. Time for a well-deserved break! The guys immediately pulled off their hiking boots and socks to air out their overheated feet, and Kath and I followed suit. But I'd forgotten about my toenails and I'm sure everyone's eyes were immediately drawn to the bright pink color! We all enjoyed sharing the food and drinks we'd packed along, not to mention each other's company. Soon we were back on the trail, doing the back half of the loop. That part of the route was out of the trees a lot, and the temperature felt like a hundred degrees! Worse, the trail surface was all fine dust that erupted in little clouds as we walked along, sticking to anything and everything including my sweaty arms and legs. But I have to admit I still loved having the chance to go on a hike with my friends, and the exercise felt more than wonderful. Still, I was a hot, dirty, sticky and smelly mess by the time we got back to the car, and the others looked and smelled much the same! We quickly loaded our packs into the trunk and hit the road. As before, Kath and I, with the shorter legs, sat in the back. We kept all the windows open, which I think everyone appreciated as the car didn't have AC, and the extra breeze felt great. I even took out my hair elastic and let my long tresses blow in the wind. "So do you guys feel like going out for a bite after we get back?" Ben inquired. "All that heat put me in the mood for some Mexican food." "You're always in the mood for anything resembling food!" Mark shot back before Kath or I could answer. "Sounds kinda nice to me," said Kath, "but not when I'm this much of a mess." She looked at me and winked. "And my friend here happens to be a real clean freak, right Sandy? How are you coping, anyway?" "Uh, I'm like, a bit out of my comfort zone like this, so I'm gonna want a good long shower and clean clothes, bare minimum." Kath winked at me again. "What else is there, unless you wanna do your hair and makeup, and put on one of those nice summer outfits you bought ..." "KATH!" I reprimanded. Too late - the guys were already having a good laugh. Ben turned around and said, "Hey, maybe that's not such a bad idea. Then we could have a real double-date! Whaddya say, Mark?" "Whatever Sandy wants to do is cool with me," he answered with no further explanation. I took that comment as a hint that he didn't mind if I went out with them dressed as a girl. "Okay," Ben said, "so we'll drop both of you off at home and we'll go get cleaned up too. Why don't we say, like six o'clock back at your place?" He looked at his watch. "That should give you a good hour and a half to make yourselves look beautiful." Now I was sure that Ben was thinking the same thing! "See you in an hour," said the guys as Kath and I got out of the car. "So what are you going to wear?" Kath asked as we began to go our separate ways. "I dunno. What are YOU going to wear?" "Well, if you MUST know, I've been thinking about my Mom's cocktail dress. Maybe your Mom can loan you hers." "She doesn't own one. C'mon, Kath - get serious. What SHOULD I wear tonight?" "If you're thinking of doing a skirt, go right ahead. Both of these guys are expecting you to. They even dropped hints that they'd LIKE you to, didn't they?" "I guess so. And by the way, thank you SO much for the hair and makeup comment! Some friend you are." Kath ignored the dig. "Ben also said we had so much time to 'get beautiful'. If that's not a hint I don't know what is. And Mark said you could wear whatever you felt like - but I think I know what HE'D want you to wear!" She was right - they did say those things. But this situation was different - there would only be the four of us, double dating as Ben had put it - not a big group affair like the previous times the guys saw me dressed as a girl. And I certainly didn't want to be centered out. "Well okay, miss troublemaker. But I'll only wear a skirt if you do too." Kath seemed to be enjoying my squirming, so I figured she could squirm too. "Whoa, the only skirt I have is the black one for catering. You wear them a lot more than me. I'll just stick with another pair of shorts." "You're not getting off that easy, kid," I told her. "You were nice enough to lend me some of your clothes for the hike, so now I'm gonna return the favor. When you're ready come over and I'll fix you up with a nice, cute little mini ... let's see, what might go with that hair ...?" "Whatever." Kath shrugged and looked like she didn't want to argue the point any further, so we parted company and I hurried into the house to start cleaning up. When I saw myself in my big mirror I nearly died - I don't think I'd ever been so filthy. I wanted a nice, long, preferably cool shower after that scorcher of a day, but had to settle for a shorter, warm one to get all the sweat, sunscreen, bug juice and trail grime completely off. The water going down the drain looked brown for a while. Ten minutes later I stepped out of the shower, feeling a thousand percent cleaner and fresher than I did before, and surveyed myself in the mirror. For once I was wishing my hair was still short, so it would dry faster. But the perm was still doing its magic, so at least I didn't have to worry much about styling it. So I just towel dried it and pulled my hair pick through it a few times, then tossed it onto my back. I took a long, deep breath, and made the decision to put in a little extra effort to look pretty. So I fitted my gaff in place and covered it with a pair of white cotton panties, then slipped on a matching bra that offered a much-needed bit of padding. I decided that the gel enhancements would be overdoing it. With forty minutes left, I went to work on my face. I really didn't want to overdo that either, but I'd made the decision to look nice tonight and I was going to do it right. So I applied eyeliner, mascara and just a hint of smoky eye shadow that I smudged on near the outer corners of my eyes. My skin looked just fine, I thought, so I skipped the rest. Next I dabbed a bit of my favorite perfume on my wrists, on my neck and behind my ears, just as Natalie had taught me. The clock said only five-thirty, so I stopped for a moment and thought, 'What can I do in half an hour?' Easy stuff first - a pair of small silver hoop earrings and a wrist bracelet. Then the hard part - picking clothes. So I decided to stick with what works, and soon I was fastening the waist of a plain white cotton mini with front and back pockets, that ended halfway between my crotch and knees. For my top I chose a floral multi-colored form-fitting tee with a deep scoop-neck and very short sleeves. The thin clingy material clearly exposed the outline of my bra and its straps, and even more obviously, accentuated the curve of my waist and hips. My heart skipped a few beats when I checked myself in the mirror. Fifteen minutes to go, and no Kath yet, so I decided to squeeze in one more thing. I grabbed my bottle of bright pink nail polish and, ignoring my trembling hands, quickly got a coat on. 'There,' I thought - 'now all my nails match'. For shoes I picked out a pair of white low-heeled sandals with thin straps, almost in the flip-flop category, but very cute and perfect for a warm summer's evening. I was just looking myself over in the mirror when the doorbell rang, and a moment later Kath burst into my room. As usual, her face didn't have a spec of makeup on, but her long, curly still-dark hair was beautiful and she was wearing the same kind of top as me, only with a green and white pattern. It would have gone perfectly with the red hair she had before the play. On her bottom was a pair of plain brown shorts. "Trying to show me up again, I see," Kath commented as she looked me over. "But seriously, Sandy, you can be so damn pretty sometimes." I thought I could detect a note of envy or sadness in the way she said that. "And I LOVE that fragrance you have on - what is it?" "Oh, it's just Halston - I like it 'cause it's not overwhelming, just really nice and definitely girly. That's how Natalie described it, anyway. Are you wearing something?" She shook her head and said she preferred not to. 'Too bad,' I thought. "Well, we've got ten minutes before the guys get here," I said cheerfully, "so let's see what's in my bag of tricks!" We dug through my closet and came up with a stone-washed blue jean skirt, a beige one with a scalloped hem, and the pastel-blue sister of the white skirt I had on. Kath immediately grabbed that last one, and pulled off her shorts to try it on. It fit her like a glove! But we both agreed that her top wasn't a match, and while we were sorting through my supply, the doorbell rang again. I quickly ran downstairs and found Mom, who had been working in her office, on the way to answer the door. "Mom, can you please do me a favor?" I pleaded. "Ben and Mark are here to pick me and Kath up. Can you tell them we're not ready yet? Thanks!" And without further explanation I ran back up to my room, closing the door as I went in. A moment later Kath and I could hear male voices downstairs. "Did you find something?" I asked Kath. She was holding up the prettiest of my longer summer tops from the California trip. It was off-white with delicate edging around the large neck opening and hem, a lacy panel in the bodice, and very short gathered sleeves. The waistline was also gathered to accentuate the hips and bust. It was my favorite top I bought on that trip, even though I'd recently discovered that, like the pastel-blue skirt, it wasn't in my ideal color palette. "Do you think this is maybe a little too feminine for me?" she asked, obviously hoping I'd say no. "It wasn't for me, and you're a lot more female than I am, so I say go for it. I think it'll look a lot better on you with your coloring than it does on me. And Natalie said it goes perfectly with that blue skirt." That's all Kath needed to hear. She pulled off her green and white tee and I helped her replace it with my much prettier top. "Kath, I love it on you!" I gushed, as she positioned herself in front of my long mirror. I thought she looked very pleased, so I added, "You have to let me put just a wee little bit of makeup on you, pretty please?" "I've never worn makeup, you know that," she protested. "Well, until the play, that is ..." "So you already broke your perfect record - it's all over now so you might as well just cooperate, kiddo," I said gleefully while dragging her into my bathroom. I made her stand perfectly still while I gave her face the same treatment as mine, with the addition of an eyebrow pencil to shape and darken her fair brows, then I stood beside her for a side- by-side comparison. "Not bad for an amateur, wouldn't you say?" "Sandy - when it comes to girly stuff, you're no amateur, believe me," Kath replied. "But aren't you forgetting something?" She pointed at my mouth and hers. I couldn't believe what I was hearing. "Lipstick? YOU actually want to wear lipstick?" I said, shaking my head. 'Hmm - how could I forget that?' I thought. In no time we'd picked out two different shades of pink, a paler one for Kath's skin tone and one for mine that just happened to match my nail color. We both applied it quickly, and I threw the lipstick tubes, my wallet and some other essentials into my small white leather shoulder bag. "Let's get going before the guys give up and find some other girls to go out with," Kath said impatiently. Ben and Mark were waiting in the front entryway, and I noticed that they were dressed about the same - shorts and golf shirts, with leather sandals on their feet. I think they nearly croaked when they saw Kath and me descend the stairs. Neither one could utter a sound for a few seconds, and then Ben exclaimed, "Wow ... REAL GIRLS!" Kath and I looked at each other in surprise, and nothing more was said till we were out of the house. Then the floodgates opened up! "You both look fantastic!" said Ben. He glanced at Mark, who was still unable to say anything, and back at Kath and me. "I'm pretty sure you're not the same pair we dropped off here an hour ago. They were kinda sad looking, all messy and covered in dirt from head to toe." I thought he glanced at my pink nails on that last word! "But we're more than happy to take you two out instead." Mark's mouth had been open the whole time, but a few words finally came out of it. "You girls sure clean up well ... I'm, uh ... kinda blown away!" Kath went over to him and gave him a little hug. "Nice compliment, big guy - but you clean up well too ... and you definitely smell a lot better now!" Was that a twinge of jealousy I felt when she did that? "Can I sniff him too?" I asked innocently, and gave him my own little hug, hoping he'd notice my perfume. "Yes, you DO smell nice." "And so do you, Sandy! Wow! There's that fragrance again - what is it anyway?" Mark asked me. "I'll never tell," I replied in the same 'innocent' voice. "Hey, when do I get my hugs?" Ben demanded, with a big grin on his face. "I'm kinda feeling left out over here." So Kath and I both gave him a big 'groupie' hug and told him he smelled wonderful too, even though I thought Mark smelled better! Then our 'gentlemen' held the rear doors open for the two of us girls to get in. When we were all in the car, Mark asked Kath and me if we wanted the windows up on account of our hair, but we said no, our hair was still damp and it could use some blow-drying. But we only drove for ten minutes or so, till we came to a Mexican restaurant named Chi-Chi's. The guys jumped out and opened our doors for us, and same with the front door of the restaurant, which was quite cool when we got inside. Now I hoped I'd be warm enough! We got shown to a booth just large enough for four, and Kath and I seated ourselves on the inside nearest the window, facing each other. That forced the guys to choose who they'd sit next to. I was hoping for Mark, but got Ben instead. 'Damn!' I thought. A basket of fresh chips and salsa appeared within seconds, and we settled in for a fun evening of chatting, joking and laughing. It was better than wonderful to have my best friend Kath to double-date with. At the time, I felt that I would have been way too nervous if it had been a one-on-one date. Instead, I felt a lot more at ease - after all, these three people all knew me, what kind of person I was, and most important for me, I felt accepted by all of them. Even though two were guys who should really have felt very uncomfortable around me! It would be a while before I could understand why they were so accepting. But I think Keri and Natalie's choice of perfume for me must have been inspired, judging by how often Ben would lean close and sniff the air around me. He'd get a silly, drunken look on his face and pretend to melt into the seat cushion, saying something like, "Oh, Alexandra, you smell so heavenly!" Mark and Kath would break up when he did that, and eventually I just rolled my eyes, telling Ben to "Stop sniffing me so much! You're wearing out my perfume!" And Mark added, "Yeah, save some for me!" At one point, before our meals arrived, Mark asked Kath if she was warm enough. "You've got goose bumps all over your arms!" he said. Ben looked at one of my arms and said I had the same problem. He was right, but my bare legs and feet felt even colder. "Why don't we see if we can move out to the patio?" he suggested, and we eagerly nodded our agreement. A minute later we were moved to a square table outside, where it was still at least eighty degrees but very comfortable compared to the refrigerator it was like inside. And I liked the seating arrangement a lot better this time - I had a guy on either side of me. But now I had both of them leaning over and giving me the 'nose test'. "No fair!" Kath complained. "I call that perfume for next time!" "Oh, you mean you'd go out with us again, after all the abuse you got today?" laughed Ben. "Yeah, I'm such a glutton for punishment! That's the only reason I hang out with you guys," she deadpanned. "She's right," I added, "you wouldn't believe the crap she takes from me. Kath is a real masochist." "Well then, Miss Thomas," began Mark theatrically, "you're going to love being with us. No question, Mr. Wright and I are world class abusers. And may I be the first to congratulate our two lovely ladies for passing today's test with flying colors." He stood and raised his glass of Sierra Mist, followed by Ben. "A toast to Kathleen and Alexandra, who today braved searing heat, clouds of dust, ravenous insects, wild animals, and last but not least, lofty mountains ..." "HILLS," Ben corrected. "And don't forget the hungry bears," said Kath. "Hungry bears - which I ALREADY covered in the wild animals category, dear lady," Mark continued, "and lofty HILLS, if you must. Now I ask you, Benjamin, my dear fellow - did your eyes ever see two more lovely visions than the ones right here, sharing our modest table?" "Quite so, old chap," said Ben, obviously rising to the occasion. "Who would ever suspect that these two fair ladies are the same sorry lot who accompanied us on our grueling expedition?" "SORRY LOT, are we?" demanded Kath with mock indignation. I kept my mouth shut, enjoying the impromptu show immensely, which I'm sure the guys could tell by the huge smile on my face. "Ah yes, but that was before!" Mark corrected her. "NOW look at you. I ask again, Mr. Wright, did you ever see a more beautiful sight than these fair maidens?" "How could I, Mr. McCowan, when there has surely never BEEN such a sight?" By then, several other diners were enjoying the free show too, and I saw more than one guy making eyes at me, nodding his head - at least until their wives or girlfriends reined them in. 'If they only knew who I really was,' I thought with an internal smile that matched my public one. Experiences like this one did wonders for my self-confidence as a girl, not to mention cementing my appearance obsession even more firmly into my psyche! Just then our food arrived and put a stop to the guys' theatrics, unfortunately sort of - I was having a great time soaking up all the compliments, and even being the center of attention on the patio, something I definitely wasn't used to. But before I could start eating I needed to visit the 'facilities'. Kath invited herself along, and Ben called after us, "Kath - make sure Sandy goes in the right door!" I turned to give him a dirty look, and noticed that both guys were staring fondly at us. As we left the patio a lot of other guys were just staring! "Are you having fun yet?" I asked Kath as we entered a pair of neighboring stalls in the Ladies' room. "Oh, not really - just the best day of my life," she answered. "I didn't think I'd be into dating, but these guys are such a hoot to be with. And Sandy," she said sincerely, "thanks so much for helping me look nicer." "Ah, so you've decided that getting all dolled up isn't such a bad concept after all," I gloated. And did she ever look great! "You were right - I feel really good. Maybe it helps to be with guys that appreciate it." "Yeah, these guys are real gems. I don't feel the least bit uncomfortable with either one of them. And you're right, they really appreciate the effort we put in to making ourselves look good." "Sandy, you don't need as much effort as I do," Kath said. "That's bull," I replied. "We've gone over this before. I could never have what you've got, so like, put a sock in it and let's just enjoy ourselves." "Whatever you say, boss - but next time I want the guys all over ME, so I'm wearing your perfume." "Maybe I'll take you shopping for some of you own - how would that be, miss tomboy?" I asked as I put myself back together. "If you insist. You're the fashion queen." We stood side-by-side at the mirror checking our faces and hair, making a few little adjustments and touching up our lip color. Kath's eyes looked so gorgeous with my quick little makeup job, I thought. Normally her brows and lashes were the same fair color as her hair, so the enhancements made her eyes jump out and demand to be noticed. Kath glanced down at my body and whispered, "You know, you're sure getting some nice curves, kiddo." "I know," I agreed, "thanks to your help. But yours are genuine, and those guys know the real thing when they see it." "Well," she laughed, "lucky for you I only need one guy to see it." "Which one?" I inquired apprehensively. "Which one do you think?" she taunted. "You need to tell me," I pleaded in a whisper. "You're the real girl so you should get first dibs." Her eyes were sparkling now. "Tell you what - I'll decide which one I want before we get home, and you'll be the first to know." To any of the other women in the room, we were just two precocious teenage girls, but to me we were now best girlfriends, judging by our boy-crazy conversation. Kath knew who I had a crush on, so I didn't for a moment think she'd want to steal 'my guy,' but I wasn't totally sure who Mark would prefer. If I were him I'd want the real girl, not the pretender. And anyway, maybe it was premature for us to pair off when we were having so much fun as a foursome. Back at the table, we tucked into our food and quickly got back into great conversation with our guys. By then I'd decided that double-dating was the most fun I'd ever had with other boys - as long as I got to be one of the girls! So even though I had that crush on Mark, I hoped things would stay like this between the four of us. Time flew by, as it always does when you don't want something to come to an end. The evening air was a perfect temperature for the skimpy clothing Kath and I had on, even with the light breeze that made me constantly flick my long hair back from my face as I'd seen other girls do so often. The patio was lit very nicely with colored lanterns and there was a large glass-enclosed candle at our table that cast a romantic flickering glow over our faces. We'd been through two sets of desserts (one that we all shared) and never-ending drink refills, when Mark suddenly glanced at his watch. "Holy crap, it's almost ten-thirty!" he exclaimed. "I have to pick up my Mom at the airport at eleven." I was shocked at how fast the time had slipped by. We'd been at the restaurant for over four hours! "Why don't you get going and I'll go home in a cab with the girls," Ben offered. "I'll look after the check and you can pay me back later." "I feel terrible," Mark said, "but Dad made me promise to pick her up, and she'll freak out if there's nobody there to meet her." "Don't worry about it," I said. "We can get a taxi or one of our Moms can come and get us. You need to get going." Then I added, "We kinda liked having you around today, and we wouldn't want you to get grounded." "That's so true," Kath agreed. Mark rose from the table and said his goodbyes, and I sadly watched him hurry away. But he stopped and turned around, and as our eyes met he motioned for me to join him. "Excuse me a sec," I said to the others as I quickly got up and went over to where he was standing. "Can you walk with me to the door?" Mark asked. I had no idea what was up. We stopped just outside the front door. "Sandy, I just wanted to tell you how much I enjoyed spending the day with you. Remember I told you I thought you were a good sport?" I nodded, not knowing where this conversation was headed. "Well today you totally convinced me. And ... I'm not sure how to put this, and I hope you don't take it the wrong way, but ... I like you a LOT better as a girl. You really do it right, you know. And, uh ... you've got a beautiful smile." With that, he put his arms around me and I got the most wonderful hug. "I hope you'll wear this perfume again," he added as I hugged him back. Mark pulled back a little to look down into my face. "See you soon?" I simply nodded, and as I did I felt a tear start down my cheek. With that, he broke away and jogged off to find his car. When I could no longer see him, I started walking back to our table in a complete daze. Even though he didn't exactly express love for me, Mark's words had penetrated right to my soul, and I was sure I could read that feeling between the lines. Did that deepen my crush on him? What do you think? Oh, YES! After all, once again he'd made me feel special in a very romantic way. He'd also made me feel SO feminine. And now it wasn't hard to conclude that he liked me better than Kath. From that moment on, Mark McCowan was even more of an obsession for me than my looks, if that was possible! Ben and Kath were so deep in conversation that they didn't notice me until I sat back down. 'That's good,' I thought, 'these two would be really good together.' Of course, that could just have been me, justifying why I should have Mark to myself. "Oh, Sandy, my Mom's on the way to get us," Kath said. "She can drop Ben off at home first." 'Great,' I thought - 'her Mom gets to see me like this - again!' I wondered if I'd get the third degree, or worse. "I feel really bad about this," Ben said. "It was supposed to be me and Mark taking you two out, and now you have to drive ME home." "No worries," Kath told him. "I'm sure you can think of a way to make it up to us - don't you agree, Sandy?" I was still in a bit of a daze, so I simply answered "Sure." Kath looked at me strangely. "Are you okay?" she asked with concern in her voice. "You look a little odd. Did Mark say something?" I couldn't answer that truthfully with Ben listening. "Oh, I'm fine ... sorry, I was just thinking of something. What does Ben have to do?" "I have to make it up to you two - you know, for not being able to drive you home." "So what have you got in mind? Another dinner date maybe?" I prompted. "Sounds perfect to me, if you two girls can put up with us two guys again, after everything we put you through today." "Well, the hiking was the easy part, right Sandy?" Kath said with a smirk. "The company was the toughest part. But like I said, I'm a glutton for punishment, so let's do it again." "You mean you want to do another hike too?" Ben asked hopefully. "Of course!" I said nonchalantly. "Kath's right - that was the best part. But only 'cause that gave us a good excuse to get all cleaned up!" "Well, like Mark said, you two clean up VERY nicely. I'll tell you a little secret - when you went to the restroom we decided there's nothing like a couple of hot babes to make two boring theater guys look good." Kath and I immediately got into one of our infamous giggle fits. "Nobody EVER called me a 'hot babe' before," Kath cried, tears streaming down her face and taking her mascara with them. I was crying too, so I'm sure I looked the same. "Better get used to it, honey," I said between fits of giggling, "'cause now these guys are gonna expect us to look like this ALL the time." "Oh, God, spare me!" she groaned. "Ben, I have a confession to make - I'm really a boy too! That's why I never wear skirts!" I erupted into a new giggle fit at that ironic statement. During the whole strange episode Ben was paying the waiter, who must have thought we were totally drunk, even though he'd delivered only soda pop to our table the whole evening. Soon we were stumbling noisily out the front door, Kath and I on either side of Ben with our arms around his waist. On the way out we passed a group of young guys who stared enviously at Ben. One called out, "Hey, bud, aren't you gonna share?" Kath's Mom was just pulling up to the curb and before I knew it, my two friends had jumped into the back seat, leaving me to sit in the front. Nice! Then we set off, with Ben supplying directions to his place. Barely a word was spoken, other than Mrs. Thomas asking us if we'd had a nice time. As Ben opened the door and climbed out, Kath jumped out after him and I saw them quickly hug each other. So did Kath's Mom, who also got a good look at how her daughter was dressed. When we were on our way again, Mrs. Thomas finally spoke up. "Okay kids - explanation time. What exactly is going on? Sandy, I just got used to seeing you dressed like a girl, and now you're going out with boys too? And Kathleen, where did you get those clothes?" She stared at Kath's reflection in the rear-view mirror. "You're wearing makeup!" Her jaw was hanging open. Kath responded nonchalantly, "Oh, Mom, don't make such a big deal. Sandy and I went on a very nice double date tonight, with two very handsome guys, so we couldn't very well look like guys ourselves, could we? That wouldn't be fair to our dates, would it Sandy?" Great - I was hoping to keep my mouth shut and out of trouble. "Mrs. Thomas, I'm sorry if me being dressed like this offends you. It's really all in fun, you know. And those guys are our friends from the play." "Oh, Sandy, you don't need to apologize and I'm not offended - all right, maybe I'm still just a little shocked at how convincing you are as a girl. But I already know you've been spending a lot of time in skirts. I live right next door, you know." Kath took the opportunity to go on the offensive. "Mom, I can't believe you've been spying on Sandy," she said. "I haven't been spying, dear. Remember, you already explained to me about how he needed to dress for the catering job. But there were also times when I saw him come or go with his brother's girlfriend, and he was always wearing girls' clothes. Then there were the voice recitals. And the play. Now this!" "So he likes to dress up as a girl. What's the big deal about that?" Kath prodded. "He's not hurting anybody. And you forgot to mention the dance recital." "That wasn't such a big surprise after Pocahontas. But tonight, I don't know ..." She glanced over at me again. "Sandy, I don't want you to take this the wrong way - you're drop-dead gorgeous. You've got, um ... a girl's figure. And you still have that high girlish voice. Are you sure you haven't been a girl all along, and you were just pretending to be a boy?" "Right now I wish that was true," I replied sadly. "My life would be a lot less complicated. But this summer I'm trying to keep things simple, so I'm staying a girl till school starts again." Mrs. Thomas chuckled, "Funny, I never thought being a female was simple." The car stopped at a red light, and she glanced over at me. "Put your hand on the dashboard and extend your fingers, dear ... no, like this. Nice nails, by the way - and your fingers are nice and long. But see, your ring finger's longer than your index finger. Well, you might look and sound just like a female, but that proves you're a male, Sandy." "WHAT?" came Kath's voice from the back seat. I turned to see her examining her own hand. "Oh yeah, my index finger's longer than the ring finger. Cool." I'm not sure exactly why, but I found that little 'genetic test' quite depressing. Maybe I didn't like having any more evidence of my real sex, especially after what had transpired that day. Mrs. Thomas continued, "Actually, that test isn't a hundred percent. But two or three times I've seen a woman that I suspected was really a man. I'd take a look at her hands, and sure enough, bingo!" Kath seemed annoyed. "Mom, you really DO spy on people. Why can't you just live and let live?" By now we were pulling into their driveway, but we stayed in the car a little longer. "Kathleen, I'm NOT spying. I'll admit, people interest me, and I like to know what makes them tick. There's nothing wrong with that." "I know what you mean, Mrs. Thomas," I said. "I like to watch other people too. It's my favorite thing to do in the mall." "After shopping, you mean," added Kath. We all laughed as we opened the doors and got out. Mrs. Thomas asked me and Kath to stand beside each other - for inspection, I correctly guessed. "You two look like sisters now," she said, shaking her head. "And Kathleen ... you still haven't told me where those clothes came from. Not that I'm complaining - it's amazing seeing you with a real skirt on. And that top's very pretty on you. "She DOES look good, doesn't she Mrs. Thomas?" I exclaimed, happy that she approved of my efforts. She nodded, and I said, "Well ... they're actually my clothes. But I definitely like them better on her." "So now you're telling me you have a girl's wardrobe ... I shouldn't be surprised, Sandy Johnson. I suppose I should congratulate you both on your taste in clothing. Most girls seem to like looking trashy, but not you two." "Thanks, Mom - we try," said Kath with a wink at me. "Well, I think I should say goodnight," said Mrs. Thomas. "Don't be long, Kathleen - you have some more explaining to do." She unlocked their front door and went inside. When the door closed, Kath and I hurried over to my house. "So I'm dying to hear what Mark told you when he was leaving," she said wickedly as we headed upstairs. "I hope he asked you out!" "KATH! Get real - he's a GUY ... he's not going to take another guy on a date. But I did get a nice hug. And he said he liked me better as a girl." "Who wouldn't? You're major eye candy, Alexandra." "Look who's talking! And what happened between you and Ben? Did he ask YOU out?" "Naw, I wish. I'll just have to lay on a bit more charm, I guess. At least I got my own hug. No kisses, though, and I was SO looking forward to getting one," she said, trying to sound ripped off. "I didn't get one EITHER," I agreed in the same dejected voice. We looked at each other and made pouty lips. "If you were a guy I'd kiss you right now, just to make up for it," she said with a twinkle in her eye. "But I am a guy, silly," I replied with a raised eyebrow. So we embraced and kissed each other, right on the lips ... but only for a second. "Feel better now?" I asked, as I realized that I'd never kissed my friend before, on the mouth or anywhere else. "Oh, much better! Who needs Ben, anyway, when I have you!" Then she kissed me again, and we hugged tightly for a long minute. "Sandy?" "Yes Kath?" "I love you ... I don't know what I'd do if you weren't my best friend." "Same here - I love you too," I responded. "Let's always be best friends, okay?" "It's a deal." For once, a serious moment between me and Kath didn't degenerate into joking and giggling. After we let go of each other I put her other clothes in a cloth bag, and told her, "You'd better get home, your Mom's all excited to hear what kind of trouble you got into tonight. You can give me back my clothes later. Unless you'd like to keep them - they look a lot better on you anyway." "Could I? Maybe just for the summer? I'm not ready to go back to blah- boring just yet," she said as I walked her downstairs to the front door. "If Mom's going to accuse me of painting the town red, I may as well look the part." "Oh, I've got better stuff if you wanna do that!" We both laughed and hugged once more. Then she waved goodnight and was gone. As I finished removing my makeup and pulled my favorite summer nightie over my head, I marveled at the incredible day that was now drawing to a close. 'I learned something extra special today,' I thought. Earlier, while hiking and being very uncomfortable in the heat, dust and bugs, I felt totally out of my element even though I liked the company, the exercise, and the surroundings. As tough as it was on me, hiking was still one of my favorite activities. It was a huge stretch for me to let myself become so messy, but in the end it was so much more than worth the trouble. Judging by the boys' reactions when Kath and I came down the stairs, not to mention all the attention and compliments at the restaurant, going from disgusting to presentable made us look over-the- top spectacular. Even better, I felt extra special and attractive, too. If I wasn't sold on the advantages of being a girl before, I certainly was now. To be continued ....