Joanna's best friend Tiffani had called her up and invited her over to
see something very special. Tiffani was very secretive on the phone as
to what it was. She said it was something that Joanna would never
believe in a million years. With her curiosity peaked Joanna left her
home immediately and soon arrived at Tiffani's house.
Joanna rang the bell and within a few seconds Tiffani opened the door.
They hugged upon seeing each other as old friends often do. Once the
hug was broken, Joanna asked what was so mysterious that she had to
hurry over to see. Tiffani said she couldn't explain it, that Joanna
would just have to see it for herself. Then Tiffani called toward up
stairs, "Nicole, honey can you come down here?" A few seconds later,
Joanna saw him as he came bounding down the stairs, it was Tiffani's
boyfriend Nick. But the way he looked was so different and unexpected
from what she would have expected Joanna was speechless.
When she saw Nick, he was dressed like a pre-teen girl. He wore two
layered t-shirts. The one on top was a short sleeved shirt with glitter
graphics lettering which proclaimed "You Make Me Smile" in pink and
black lettering. There was also stars and smiley faces surrounding the
cutsie lettering. It had a pseudo-v-neck collar and was long enough to
reach his belly button. Layered under that shirt was a long sleeved
light pink shirt. This second shirt could be seen below the bottom and
above the collar of the first shirt. He wore a knit active pant with
stars that matched his shirt along the length of his left leg. It had
an elastic waist and a draw string. On his feet he wore peace and
rhinestone embellished booties in a brown faux suede. It covered the
bottom of his pant and hit at his mid-calf. Over the top of his bootie
you could see a grey knee length sock with a high blue band on top. On
his face he just wore a broad happy genuine smile. In his eyes was an
innocence that didn't belong on the face of anyone who was at least in
their teens. He finally stopped at Tiffani's side and she put one arm
around his shoulder in a loving and protective gesture.
"This is my daughter Nicole," Tiffani said. The look of incredulity
couldn't have been more obvious on my face. Speaking to Nicole, Tiffani
continued, "Nicole say hello to Miss Winwood, she is one of Mommy's
oldest and dearest friends.
"Hello Miss Winwood," Nicole said, still smiling. He said it with the
cheerfulness of a happy little girl. There was a joy to his demeanor
like that of a child that actually brightened the room. There was no
guile nor any hint of coercion in his speech or his movements. He
didn't seem to mind that even though he was several inches taller than
Tiffani and obviously quite more muscular that he was being held in a
protective manner by Tiffani. He didn't have an overly feminized
posture, but every hint of masculinity and adulthood was absent from his
being and his expression. Despite his physical body he looked like an
eleven or twelve year old girl.
"Nicole, why not tell Miss Winwood about yourself."
"I don't know what to say Mommy."
"Tell her your full name."
"My name is Nicole Alice Hoover." Joanna knew that Hoover was Tiffani's
last name not Nick's.
"Tell her how old you are."
"I'm twelve-years-old."
"Where do you go to school? "I go to the Christ Incarnation School."
The Christ Incarnation School is a private Catholic Elementary and
Middle School which teaches students from Pre-K to Eighth Grade. Joanna
knew that Nick wasn't a religious man in any sense of the word and she
didn't think he was even Catholic.
"What grades do you get?"
"I always get As."
"Yes, I am so proud of you. What is your favorite subject?"
"Religion is both my hardest and my favorite subject."
"Why...?"
"Because it teaches you all about Jesus and teaches you how to live.
But the best part is that it teaches you that no matter what you do,
Jesus will always love you."
"Mommy loves you too."
"Yes I know, I love you too Mommy."
"Who do you love more, Mommy or Jesus?"
" Ummmm"
"You don't have to answer. I know you love Mommy best. Tell Miss
Winwood, what did you last month."
"Ummm, let me think."
"You know that special thing on Sunday."
"Oh, yes," Nick's smile brightened even more if that was possible, "I
was confirmed into the Church. It was one of the best days in my life.
I wore that really pretty white dress and there were five other kids who
got confirmed on the same day. I said my prayers and Father Kelly
performed the service. After it was all over, Father Kelly said my
Confirmation was one of the best he had ever performed." Nick's words
tumbled out of him with such earnestness and enthusiasm that for a
moment Joanne was genuinely happy for Nick. Then she reminded herself
that Nick was a thirty-something year old man, not a twelve year old
girl.
Tiffani continued questioning Nick for a couple more minutes about who
he was and what he liked to do. Joanna's overall impression of Nick's
answers where the typical answers of a sweet, religious but innocent
pre-teen girl. After answering all of her questions, Tiffani sent Nick
back upstairs to return to whatever he was doing before being called
down stairs. Before he left, Nick said goodbye to Joanna and told her,
"I am very happy to meet you, Miss Winwood." Then even more
unexpectantly, Nick gave Joanna a sweet peck on the cheek and then he
bounded upstairs again just as he had when coming down, turned a corner
and was gone, presumably to his room.
"What...how...did you.....ummm....why?" Joanna was tongue tied. She
didn't know what question to ask first." When Joanna had last saw Nick,
he was a brute of a man. He was unemployed and had been so for almost a
year. There was nothing girlie about him. He was somewhat juvenile in
behavior, more boyish than he should have been at his age. But men are
like that sometimes, they never seem to grow up. But the youthfulness
of his personality now was something totally different. He wasn't like
a man who hadn't grown up. Or like one who was just acting like a young
person. He acted like a young girl who was acting appropriate for her
age. Like a girl who would grow into a beautiful, well adjusted woman
in a few years. Joanna didn't sense any false or maladjusted in his
demeanor. If was his physical body that seemed wrong for his
personality. It was like a young girl was put into an older man's body
and didn't notice the change. It wasn't like an older man was being
forced to act like a young girl. In fact, Nick couldn't have seemed any
happier and didn't seem to have a care in the world. Except that he
found the religion class he loved was harder than he wanted it to be.
"You want to know how it was all done," Tiffani said matter-of-a-factly.
"You took the words right out of my mouth."
"Well it all started with a virtual reality machine I obtained...Well it
is much more than just plain virtual reality. VR is just the start.
Actually it started about two months ago...."
Nick was sitting in a chair. He was dressed casually, in a pair of old
jeans and a t-shirt. He wore sneakers and tube socks. He looked quite
ordinary to himself. He had no way of knowing that he was wearing girls
cotton panties under his outer clothes.
"Where am I?" Nick thought. "I'm in someone's office. Who is this
woman at the desk?" The woman Nick noticed is middle aged, he thought
she must be about forty-five. She is professionally dressed in a
business skirt suit. I was about to say something, but the Woman gave
me a look and I decided to be quiet for a second. Then I heard a
familiar voice. It's my girlfriend, Tiffani. I looked to my left and
saw her sitting next to me. She was dressed in a pretty yet
professional skirt and blouse.
"She is very smart, but she is quite a hand full. I thought if we took
her out of public school and enter her here in your fine school, she can
find the discipline and structure she needs to flourish. She is also
quite a tomboy and I think its time she became more lady-like." Tiffani
explained to the woman.
I didn't know what Tiffani was talking about. I didn't even know who
Tiffani was talking about. Some girl. But why would she be talking
about some girl to this woman and why did I come along. Hey how did I
get here anyway. So I spoke up. "Excuse me...excuse me..."
Tiffani kept on talking like I wasn't in the room. "Look at how she is
dressed. I wanted her to wear something nice and pretty for this
interview, but she just refused. I'm at my wits......"
The lady behind the desk glared at me and in a commanding voice told me.
"Young lady, be quiet only speak when you are spoken too. Adults are
talking!" The woman didn't raise her voice. But her tone had cowed me.
I don't know why but all of a sudden I felt nervous. There was a knot
in the pit of my stomach. I was taken aback. But inspite of how I
felt, I tried to press on. "WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU AND WHY AM I HERE!" I
screamed.
"Young lady how dare you talk to me like that!" the lady bellowed.
"Young lady??? Who the fuck are you calling a lady?!?" For some
reason, my apprehension grew. It was becoming hard to look this woman
in the eye.
"I will not have such insolence in my office," the lady continued. Then
she reached for an intercom on her desk and pressed a button. Another
woman entered the office, I assume it was the commanding woman's
secretary. Then in a quieter, but still commanding tone. "Take this
young lady to the restroom and wash her mouth out with soap. Don't
bring her back here until she is ready to apologize."
"I'm not going anywhere until I get som.." It was at this point that
the secretary had grabbed me by the arm and pulled me to my feet. I
wasn't ready to stand, but she seemed to have super-human strength and
pulled me up like I was a rag doll. When I got to my feet I noticed I
was a couple inches taller than she was even though she was wearing
three inch heels. It was at this time that my flight or fight reflex
took effect and I decided to fight. I punched her as hard as I could,
but it didn't seem to effect her at all. She just continued to pull me
out of the room. Since fighting didn't work, my next option was flight.
But she held on to my shoulder tight and forced me to move out of the
woman's office, through a smaller office and then town the hall. I was
shouting for help, but even though several people saw me. Most were
small children and even the adults who noticed the commotion did nothing
to help me. As I left the office, I heard the woman say, "Now that
she's gone, you may continue Miss Hoover."
I was ushered into a lady's bathroom. Even though I was being forcibly
excorted down the hall. I noticed that I was in some sort of school for
younger kids. We passed several classrooms and a boys and a girls
restroom on our way to the destination, but didn't enter either. Then
she pushed me into a restroom that was clearly designed for the school's
female teachers and staff. Several of the stalls were taken as I could
see the feet below the bottom of the stall's doors. I yelled again,
thinking that a man in a lady's room might give me an opportunity to
escape. But no one raised an eye brow. Not even the woman who was
washing her hands at the sink. I was then lead to a cabinet and this
woman with super-human strength held me immobile with just one hand as
she fished for something in the cabinet. It was a bar of ivory soap.
My eyes flew open as I clamped my mouth shut like a disobedient child.
Which seemed appropriate since I was being treated like one anyway. She
removed the wrapper from the soap and told me to open my mouth. I shook
my head vigorously. She then took her thumb and forefinger and pinched
my nose. In less than a minute I had to open my mouth to breath and
then she popped the soap into my mouth. It tasted vile. It did have
that soapy taste that one expects from smelling it. But that wasn't the
worst it. It not only had a soapy taste, but it also had an
indescribable nasty taste I couldn't put my finger on. It was 1000 time
worse than what I expected soap to taste like. I wanted to spit it out,
but the woman's hands were covering my mouth and I couldn't.
In what seemed like forever. The woman spoke to me for the first time.
"Now are you ready to apologize?" To get the vile thing out of my mouth
I nodded my head. I was then allowed to remove the soap from my mouth.
"OK, then apologize to me first for being such a brat." With the soap
out of my mouth, I regained my courage. "Fuck No!" I spat. She put the
soap back into my mouth once again. With the woman's hand holding my
shoulder and her other hand covering my mouth, I could do nothing more
than to try and kick her. But my kicks were as ineffective as my blows
earlier. It was out this point that the woman seemed to get mad. She
removed her hand from my face and I spit out the soap. It landed on the
floor then she guided me to one of the bathroom stalls. I thought she
was going to dunk my head into the toilet but she didn't. She turned
around and sat on the toilet. She then pushed me chest first over her
lap. Then she started to spank me. Even though I was still wearing my
jeans it hurt. Actually, it hurt a lot and the pain increased upon
every slap. After she thought I had had enough, she asked me again,
"Will you apologize?"
"Yes," I stammered out. "OK, then do it."
"I'm sorry"
"Say it like you mean it or you won't sit for a week."
"I'm sorry." I said with more emotion. "And...."
And what I thought but said, "I'm sorry for being such a brat."
"And...will you do it again?"
"No I will never do it again."
"Good, now when I take you back to Mrs. Burns office you had better say
it just like that. And say it like you mean it. And mean it. Because
if I ever have to do this again, I'm not kidding when I say you won't be
able to sit for a week."
Then she led me back to the office from where this all started.
"And then what happened," Joanna asked. "I'll get to that in a moment,
but first I want to explain about the VR machine. It is so much more
than a VR machine actually." Tiffani continued, "It doesn't just go
over your eyes and ears, but it goes around your entire body so you can
feel anything it wants you to feel. It also goes, in your mouth so you
can taste things. Up your nose so you can smell things, you understand.
But it is even more than that. It monitors your heart and brainwaves
too. It can't read your thoughts but it can tell what you are generally
feeling. It also can pump in drugs intravenously so it can influence
your mood. That is why Nick felt so jumpy when he saw the school
principal. It can also give him drugs that make him feel very good too.
The manipulation of his feeling through drugs is key to this machine.
Anyway, Nick reentered the room escorted by the secretary who still had
a firm grip on his shoulder," Tiffani continued.
We retraced our steps and I was returned to the office. Before entering
the room, I saw the plaque on the door proclaiming that this was the
principal's office. When I entered the talking stopped.
"Well do you have something to say for yourself Young Lady?" the
secretary half asked half demanded.
"I am sorry for..." What did I do again, I couldn't remember for a
second and so I hesitated.
"Go on," said the Principal.
"For for cussing."
"Are you going to apologize to Miss Grannet for hitting her?" the
Principal said gesturing to the woman who had let go of my shoulder, but
was still standing behind me.
"I already did before we left the restroom." Miss Grannet nodded behind
me, even though I didn't look around to see.
"OK, OK. I usually don't go to such extreme measures when a student
acts up when first coming here, but you was just being so rude I had to
do it. Now if you behave like the young lady you appear to be, then we
can move on and won't have anymore problems. While you were gone, your
Mother and I completed your registration process. You are now
officially a student of the Christ Incarnation School," the Principal's
faced brightened. "Welcome!" There are many more rules to follow here
than in your old school. But even in your old school, cussing wasn't
allowed."
Nick didn't know what old school he was supposed to have attended. The
last school he had attended was a junior college. But this school was
obviously for kids.
"I have given your mother the school handbook. She'll go over it with
you when you get home. But I did want to tell you myself what the
school's mission is. Do you know what mission means?"
"Ummm, yes, it means what you are trying to do."
"That is right, your mother told us you are very smart. But book
learning isn't all that we think is important. We are a Roman Catholic
school and follow the tenets of that faith. All of our students are or
will be in your case Baptized into the Catholic Church. We are a family
oriented community, grounded in the Catholic faith, we strive to enhance
and strengthen the spiritual values of its students. We expect our
students to set an example of how a righteous life is led. We believe
that God has a plan for each of us. The general plan is spelled out in
the Bible. That is in general how people are to act. Children are to
mind their parents and other adult for example. But not only that girls
and boys are supposed to not only be well behaved, but girls are
supposed to act like young ladies and boys are supposed to act like
young gentlemen.
The differences between this school and a public school are that here
you must wear your school uniform at all times. There are exceptions
such as for gym class and other special more casual days, but those are
rare. In the morning before any of the classes, there will be an half
hour of group prayer followed by five minutes of quiet reflection.
Besides your academic subjects there will be two classes on Bible study
and religion. There is also a class the students call 'Civics For
Catholics'. In that class you will learn how to act like a proper
Catholic Young Lady. Your behavior is a reflection of yourself, your
family, this school and the Catholic faith in general. This class will
teach you how to look your best at all times."
After the speech, I was asked if I had any questions. I had so many,
but I really couldn't imagine actually asking any of them. I was so
confused. Not only that, but I still had that vile taste in my mouth
and my ass still hurt. I just couldn't believe that I was actually
spanked like a little kid. So thinking better of it, I said "No" which
seemed to please the principal.
Tiffani and I left the school and Tiffani was holding onto my hand. I
wanted to let go, but she held on firmly. When I tried to break away, I
found I couldn't break Tiffani's now vice-like grip. She dragged me to
the car and opened the back door and forced me into a large child safety
seat in the back of the car. She strapped me in and I found that I
couldn't reach around to unbuckle the restraint.
On the way home, Tiffani kept telling me that I would learn to love my
new school and that I was very lucky to attend and other words praising
the new school and my attendance there. I didn't want to hear any of
it. I was telling her, I didn't understand what was going on and how
could she do this to me. But she didn't seem to be getting anything of
what I was saying. She kept telling me to stop complaining that the
decision was made and I had no say in the matter.
She did answer one question I asked. "What grade will I be in?" I asked
fearing the answer.
"Why second grade same as the old school, Sweetie" was her reply.
"I'm thirty-four years old, what am I going to do in the second grade?"
I said with sarcasm in my voice.
"This is no time for pretend. You know you are seven years old and you
are in the second grade."
As we neared our house, I realized I had to use the bathroom. At first
it wasn't too bad, but as time went on the pressure started to build and
build. Finally the car parked in front of our house and I had to wait
for Tiffani to unbuckle me from the car seat. She did it in less than a
minute, but I had to go so bad it seemed like much longer. I ran for
the door only to discover I didn't have any keys. All my pockets were
empty. I didn't have a wallet either. I had to wait for Tiffani to get
to the door. But seeing my distress she did trot to the door to let me
in. I ran to the bathroom and closed the door.
I pulled down my fly and then fished in my pants for my penis. The
problem was the the fly in my underwear could not be found. All I felt
was the smooth material of my underwear. Not having time to
investigate. I unbuttoned my jeans and pulled them down. Then I pulled
down my underwear. I reached for my cock and I pointed it towards the
toilet and let loose. The relief was immediate. After about two or
three seconds, I knew something was wrong. Something wet was pouring
down my leg. I looked down and I saw I was peeing down my leg onto my
underwear and jeans. This was impossible. My dick was pointing in the
right direction but somehow the pee was going in the wrong direction. I
tried to stop peeing and try again. But no matter what I did I couldn't
stop peeing upon my legs. Finally, I decided to sit on the toilet and
that did the trick. The problem was that I now had some very soggy
pants and underwear.
I took the wet garments off and walked half naked into our (Tiffani and
mine) room. Tiffani was in there and saw me with my soggy clothes.
"What happened to you?" she said. I didn't know how to explain it so I
told her, "I couldn't make it in time, I had an accident?"
"Oh dear, do we have to put you back in diapers?" she jested. I didn't
want that, and this was so strange that I stuttered out "No, no, no."
"Don't worry, I was just kidding, but I think we had better get you
cleaned up."
She then took be by the hand and let me to the tub in the bathroom. She
started to fill the tub up with water and told me to lift my arms. I
did as I was told and she pulled my shirt up and over my head. I was
now naked except for my shoes and socks. One of my socks was also wet
with my own pee. I quickly took them off. A minute later, I was in the
tub.
"You know you are starting to get too big to take baths with your
Mommy," Tiffani remarked with a smile. "But one more time couldn't
hurt."
Tiffani had put bubblebath into the running water and then she handed me
two boat toys that she took from the window sill above the tub. Then
she took a washcloth and gently cleaned my body. We had done this type
of thing and she had gotten in the tub with me for fun and games. She
had cleaned a delicate area of mine and my arm jerked and her shirt got
all wet. She took it and her bra off and I was staring as her pretty
breasts and then I realized I had no reaction down there. I began to
pull on my member, but it stayed as soft as a noodle. This caused
increased splashing.
"What are you doing?" Tiffani asked.
"I am trying to jerk off," I said in my panic not thinking about what
was happening.
"Where did you learn to talk like that? Do I need to wash your mouth
out with soap?" She pointed the soap into my direction.
"No, please don't," I screamed. All of a sudden my heart was racing and
my mouth was puckering from the remembrance of the events from earlier
in the day.
"You have a potty mouth and it will stop right now or your mouth will be
full of soap a lot. Do you want that?"
"NO NO NO"
After that I sat there quietly and let her finish my bath. When it was
over she toweled me off and wrapped the towel around me from my chest to
my thighs. She then led me to what I thought was the guestroom. It was
all pink and sickeningly girly. There were stuffed animals all over the
room. They were on the twin bed, on the desk, on the dresser, on the
bookshelf. They were everywhere. There had to be almost a hundred of
them. Maybe not, but there seemed to be a lot. On the bookshelf there
were a bunch of picture books and several games and toys. Not all of
the toys were for girls specifically, but there weren't any that was for
boys at all. There was a closet with a full length mirror on it, but I
couldn't see into it since the closet was closed. The wall to wall
carpeting had a pretty sun, moon and stars pattern. A matching pattern
was on the curtains over the windows. Through the curtains I could see
there were child safety bars on the outside of the windows. I stood
there speechless.
Tiffani let go of my hand and went to the dresser to get some clothes.
She came back with a mostly red jersey pj set which said "I've really
been nice this year." In several colors on the bodice and a pair of
plain white panties. She held out the panties for me to step into. I
wasn't going to, but she gave me a stern look and all of a sudden I felt
very nervous. I did as I was beckoned. Then she pulled the pj bottom
up over my legs and the pj top down and I was dressed. She then left the
room and closed the door. I set on the bed ready to pull off the
clothes I had been given. But I didn't think there was any other
clothes to wear. Before I decided what to do, I was hit with a wave of
exhaustion and fell asleep.
"Are you going to really put Nick into diapers?" Joanna said with a bit
of incredulity in her voice. "No of course not, but the threat made it
easier for Nick to decide to always sit down to pee. It only took two
of three times of having peed down his leg for him to give up and pee
sitting down all the time.
In real life he was only asleep a few seconds, but when he woke up he
thought he was asleep for hours and it was morning."
A shoving of my shoulder woke me up. I opened my eyes and saw Tiffani
standing over me. She was telling me to wake up and get ready for
school. I didn't want to so I mumbled something. But she grabbed me
and tossed me out of bed and pointed me to the bathroom. "Don't forget
to brush your teeth." she reminded me.
Once inside I finally had time to look at myself. I looked in the
mirror and despite wearing clearly female pajamas I hadn't changed at
all. I looked the same. I wasn't magically transformed into a little
seven-year-old girl. I was still myself. My face was clearly a manly
face. I was still tall. I proved this by taking a bottle off the top
shelf of the cabinet. It was a bottle of aspirin. With all that was
going on, I could use something much stronger than aspirin. But it was
all I had handy so I decided to take a couple pills. But I couldn't
open the bottle. NO matter what I did, the top wouldn't come off. I
then looked around the medicine cabinet for something else and I noticed
that it had been child-proofed. There was nothing dangerous on the
shelves, not even a razor. The things that could be a bit harmful were
packaged in a such a way that I couldn't get them opened.
"Honey, I don't hear the water running. Did you brush your teeth yet?"
I heard from beyond the door.
"I'm about to Tiff," I said.
I turned on the water, but I didn't do any brushing as I was busy with
other pursuits. Several minutes later I heard her again. "Are you ready
yet?"
"Just a minute." I said as I fumbled around.
Then the door opened and Tiffani stepped in. I wasn't thinking and I
shouted at her, "I said I would fucking be out in a minute." Tiffani
then grabbed be by my arm, pulled me back to my bed, put me over her
knee and started to spank me. She spanked me hard.
"Stop, stop," I exclamed.
"Never cuss again and who do you think you are to call Mommy by her
first name!" she told me sternly but she didn't stop spanking my behind.
"I'll never do it again, just stop hitting me."
"You'll never do what?"
"I'll never cuss again."
"And what will you call me???"
"Mommy, Mommy, I'll call you Mommy."
"You had better or you will have lots of spankings. Do you want to be
spanked anymore?"
"Nooooo!!!"
"Did you brush your teeth as I told you to?"
"Yes," I lied. "Did you really?" she said as she picked me up and looked
into my eyes. "Yes," I lied again. It was at that point that she put me
over her lap again and gave me a couple more spanks to my bottom.
"Don't lie to me. Mommies always know when their children are lying."
"No, Mommy, I didn't." I confessed.
Then Tiffani escorted me back to the bathroom where she watched me brush
my teeth. Then I brushed my hair as she instructed. Tiffani then saw
the bottle of aspirin I had had on the floor. She told me that little
girls don't take or even touch any medicine with out their Mommy's
permission. She then made me promise not to touch it without her say so
again. I agreed to prevent anymore punishment to my rear.
We then returned to the bedroom to get dressed. I didn't want to go
anywhere and certainly not in the little girl school uniform that was
sitting neatly on top of my dresser. But with the pain of the spanking
firmly in my head, I had no choice but to do what I was told. Tiffani
told me to get undressed and I did. She then handed me some plain white
panties. I put them on. Next she handed me a pair of white cotton
tights. I took them and tried to pull them up my legs, but I couldn't
figure out how to do it right.
Tiffani watched me struggling and smiled. "Silly, I know you haven't
worn tights. Well not since you were a baby anyway. Here this is how
you put them on." Tiffani patiently instructed me on the proper
procedure for putting on tights. Next there was a white button down
shirt with a rounded collar that is typical for a little girl. I
learned later that that type of collar is called a peter pan collar.
Next she pulled over my head a blue plaid pleated dress that she called
a jumper. My outfit was complete with a girl tie that matched the
jumper and a pair of black shoes that closed with a velcro strap even
though there was a faux-buckle.
"You are pretty as a picture. Come on down to breakfast."
Breakfast was a sweet sugary cereal that Tiffani would have never let me
eat before all this started. But it seems I didn't have to stick to my
diet anymore. The sugary cereal was quite tasty. I hadn't eaten
anything like that in years. But I was full before finishing the entire
bowl.
After breakfast, she handed me a knapsack type school bag. She told me
that my lunch was in there, along with all the books and supplies I
would need and a change of clothes for gym. "Gym," I thought, "they
expect me to play with children in gym." Then it hit me, "A change of
clothes? I am going to change my clothes in public with children? They
can't allow that to happen."
Tiffani then led me out side. At first, I thought I was going to die of
embarrassment going outside the way I was dressed. But for some reason,
I was calm. Tiffani took my hand and led me outside. We were waiting at
the curve and I didn't feel scared at all. People walked by and no one
said a thing. Here I was a grown man, dressed in a school girl uniform
and no one even gave me an odd glance. Worst of all, I didn't feel
scared.
After several seconds I asked, "Ti-er-Mommy, what are we waiting for?"
"The school bus silly. You didn't think I was going to drive you to
school every day. Did you?"
"Well, if I had to go to school, I did think you would drive me."
"Nope, like all the other children, you go on the bus. It should be
here in a few minutes.'
Tiffani was right, the bus came a couple minutes later. Tiffani kissed
me on the cheek. Told me to have a good day at school and to behave
myself. I entered the bus and it took off after I found a seat.
I sat next to some boy who seemed to be about eight. I don't know what
this kids problem was, but he didn't seem to want me sitting next to
him. I guessed it was because I was a grown man or maybe it was because
of how I was dressed. But I soon realized it wasn't because of either
of those things. He said I was a girl with cooties and that I had
better not touch him and get my cooties all over him. I was going to be
the 'adult' and to just ignore him. But he persisted. After a while, I
chose another seat next to a ten-year-old girl. The girl smiled at me,
but didn't say much. Which was fine because I had to think anyway.
The bus pulled up at the school and I got out with the 'other children'
on the bus. There were attendants at the bus's door that escorted us
into the building. Because I was new, someone was assigned to make sure
I knew which class was mine and saw to it that I got there.
Once inside the classroom, the teacher, beckoned me to her desk. "Hello
Honey, I'm Mrs. Brown your new teacher.' Then she looked down at some
papers. "It says your name is Nicole Hoover. Can I call you Nicole?"
I shook my head, "I prefer to be called Nick."
"We have a Nick already in the classroom," she lied, "Can I call you
Nickie?"
"Nicky is fine I said."
"Nickie it is then." Then she turned to the classroom. "Quiet down
students. I have an announcement." The students quieted at the sound
of their teacher. "We have a new student today. I want everyone to
welcome Nickie to our class."
"Hello Nickie." everyone said at once.
Mrs. Brown then showed me to an empty desk and told me this was my desk
now. I put down my knapsack and took a seat. Then Mrs. Brown returned
to the front of the class and she led us in thirty minutes of prayers.
I mouthed the words because I didn't know how they went and I really
didn't care anyway. After it was done Mrs. Brown told us to spend the
next five minutes in quiet reflection. I was just looking around when
Mrs. Brown instructed me personally. She told me to close my eyes and
bow my head and to put my hands together in a praying fashion, and to
start praying. I was told to pray about that Jesus love me and is
watching out over me. That he knows everything that I do and if I do
what is write that all will be fine. To be thankful for everything I
have received. I did as I was told, but I faked my praying. After it
was over, Mrs. Brown told me she knew what I had done and that it
wouldn't be tolerated in the future.
The first thing Mrs. Brown taught the class was the difference between
'we' and 'us'. She showed us and then encouraged student participation.
She even asked me a question which I answered quite easily. She then
gave us worksheets to fill out. I didn't bother. It was all so simple.
After all it was second grade work. For a moment I thought, I would
kick ass on "Are you smarter than a fifth grader." I was sort of
daydreaming, when Mrs. Brown noticed. She told me to get to my work. I
continued to ignore her. It was then she took me by the hand, forced me
from my seat and told me she would put me in a time out. She put me in
the 'timeout' corner of the room and held me there. I thought this was
no big deal when I started getting nervous. I was starting to get
downright claustrophobic after only about 15 seconds. I don't know what
was happening, but I needed to get out of that corner. I started to beg
her to let me go. She said I had to stay there a full two minutes. It
seemed like forever. When it was done, she asked me if I would do my
work. I nodded feebly. I returned to my seat and filled in the
worksheet. By this time, all the rest of the students were finished and
the lesson continued.
After English, we did Math which was just as easy. We had to compare
several numbers and put them in order. Then we did penmanship. This
was the only subject that I had trouble with. I could of course write,
but I was expected to draw my letters in a very specific way. Mrs.
Brown didn't like the way my penmanship was so compressed and sloppy.
She wanted me to write with a more flowing style. She wanted my letters
to be well formed and flamboyant. She told me that writing should be
fun, so she said to make it more fun, I should dot my 'I's and 'J's with
smiley faces. She also told me that from now on she would grade all my
written work by my penmanship along with whether the answers were
correct.
While I was practicing my penmanship one of the boys in front of me
started giggling. I heard it but I didn't pay it any attention. Then
Mrs. Brown came up to me. I thought she was going to comment about my
script, but instead she whispered in my ear. She said she knew that
until today I rarely wore skirts. But that young ladies whether they
were wearing skirts or not must keep their legs together when sitting.
I was showing my underwear to the boy in front of me. I quickly closed
my legs. From that point on, it seemed that some boy was always looking
at my legs for a peep show. Even if I relaxed my legs for a second some
boy would start giggling and I would immediately force my legs together.
It got so bad that I would instinctively close my legs whenever I heard
the most innocent giggle, even when my legs were already closed tight.
Later in the day, we had our first religious lesson. We heard a parable
about a child who didn't follow the directions of an adult and got into
a dangerous situation. It was sort of heavy handed, but the children
seemed to get the message.
Next we were all taken downstairs for lunch. Mrs. Brown escorted us and
left us in the care of the lunchroom attendant. I looked into my bag
and took out my lunch. I was very hungry by this time. Inside a brown
paper bag was a peanut butter and grape jelly sandwich. It was cut
diagonally and the bread crusts were cut off. I hadn't had anything
like this in decades. There was also a juice box, a banana and a bag of
M&Ms. I took a bite out of the sandwich and discovered it was quite
good. It actually went well with the banana. There is something about
the mixture of peanut butter and banana that is quite good, especially
with the extra sweet taste of the jelly. I ate a little more than half
the sandwich when I was full. I did however finish the entire juice box
and ate all the M&Ms though.
After lunch the attendant escorted us to the bathrooms. Each student
was paired up with a buddy and sent in in pairs to use the facilities.
I didn't want to go into the girls bathroom with a girl, but I was told
to go. I said I didn't have to go. But I was told, that it didn't
matter and go to keep the other girl company. Also, this would be my
only opportunity to go, so I should try. I went inside, but I just
waited for the other girl and came out with her.
Our next stop was to the gym. We were put into the custody of the gym
teacher, who instructed us to go to the appropriate locker room. I
headed for the boys and was redirected to the girls locker room. There
was an attendant in the locker room. I was new so I was told to change
my clothes and put the discarded clothes into a cubbie hole. I didn't
want to get naked and change my clothes because I didn't want to scar
these seven year old girls for life by letting them see my penis. But
the attendant assured me that we were all girls here and I had nothing
to hide. Reluctantly, I did as I was told, but I tried to keep to
myself. At the worst possible moment a girl came from around a corner
and clearly saw me totally naked. She didn't say a word or even seem
phased by it. Eventually I got dressed and joined the rest of the
students in the gym. As I left the locker room, I noticed that some of
the girls were leaving through a different door and were going into a
different gym.
Everyone, boys and girls were wearing the same thing. We all had on a
t-shirt with the school logo, a pair of blue shorts, white socks and
sneakers. Today we were told that we would be playing kickball. I had
to play and I was put into right field. Few balls came towards me, but
when one did I had misjudged it and it flew over my head. When I tried
to throw the ball back into the infield I had thrown the ball into the
ground and it bounced half way back in. The boy who was playing second
base, ran into the outfield to retrieve the ball, but the player scored
before anything could be done.
When it was my turn to kick, I decided to take it easy on the children.
But when I tried to kick the ball I missed it. The student who was
pitching could be a professional when he grows up because the ball
seemed to come in very fast. I tried a little harder and managed to
kick the ball. It bounced slowly to the pitcher who threw me out. I was
determined to try harder the next time but no matter how hard I tried I
couldn't make good contact with the ball. It seemed like I was the
worst player on the field and the boys all made fun of my distress. The
girls looked like they were embarrassed for me and were a bit more
sympathetic.
The "Civics for Catholics" class was next after we returned to Mrs.
Brown's class. This class piggybacked on the religion class as we were
taught to always say please and thank you and be respectful to people in
authority like the police and firemen (and of course the teachers.) I
was frustrated after what happened in the gym and was making faces
behind Mrs. Brown's back. But every time I did, she caught me. It was
like she had eyes in the back of her head. After the class was over, I
was told I was being given after school detention for being so
disrespectful.
It was at detention where I was made to do my homework. The work was
easy, but I had to redo it several times until my penmanship was
perfect, smiley dotted 'I's and all. There were some questions that
were asked with a multiple choice answer, but instead of circling the
correct answer, you had to sign your name under the correct answer. I
wasn't allowed to sign it "Nicky"
either, I had to sign my full name, "Nicole Hoover." I also had to sign
each paper of my homework with my name at the bottom. For the rest of
the time, I had to write on a piece of paper, "I, Nicole Hoover, will be
respectful in class." At the bottom of each of those pages I would have
to sign my name again. By the time, Tiffani retrieved me from school, I
had signed Nicole Hoover at least two hundred times. It seemed that
every other word I wrote was Nicole Hoover.
Tiffani buckled me into the back seat and started to drive. My fingers
were clearly aching as I rubbed them. Tiffani told me that if I was a
good girl things would go much easier for me. Then she offered to take
me out for ice cream. I loved ice cream, even before all this happened,
but I didn't get to eat it much because of my perpetual diet. It seemed
to be a good idea and I quickly agreed. We went to Baskin and Robbins
and I got a cone. Tiffani allowed me to choose what I wanted and I
didn't even have to pick a sugar-free or low fat variety. I picked
Rocky Road and it tasted good. It occurred to me at this point that at
least the food is better now.
We got home and I was sent to my room to change clothes. There were
only panties to choose from, but in all honesty, they pretty much looked
like my fruit of the loom briefs just without the fly hole so I suppose
it was fine. Other than that, jeans and a t-shirt were fine with me
too. Once dressed, I decided to slip out of the house and get away from
this madness. But whenever I left my room, Tiffani always seemed to be
hanging around so I couldn't get to the front door. I then decided to
go through my window, but I had forgotten there were child safety bars
on them so there was no escape there.
With nothing left to do, I turned on the TV. But to my shock, I found
that most of the channels were restricted with "parental controls." I
couldn't get around it. All I could watch were shows with a TV-G, TV-Y,
Y7 or G rating. Some channels (actually most channels) were totally
blocked regardless of the rating of the program. The Three Stooges was
on one of the channels. This wasn't too bad so I watched that. Several
days later, Tiffani saw what I was watching and that channel was removed
from my choices also.
The day finally ended with bath time. I insisted that I could do it
alone. But despite Tiffani telling me yesterday that I was getting too
old for baths with Mommy, she wouldn't hear of it. I was then put into
my pjs and put to bed. I was going to turn the TV on and stay up later,
but I was soon asleep.
The highlight of my second day of school was putting on my school
uniform without Tiffani's help. My second day of school was actually a
Monday. After that it all went down hill. I was mouthing the words to
the prayers again but this time Mrs. Brown came over to me immediately
and told me to stop that. I told her "Stop What?"
"You know what I mean, and if you don't stop and pray right, you will be
in big trouble." warned Mrs. Brown. "You was just baptized yesterday
and so you have to do it seriously." I didn't want to get baptized but
Tiffani made me go to church and I had no say in the matter. All in all
it really wasn't too bad. The service was boring, but the baptism went
quick. I went up to the alter. The priest said a couple prayers. Put
some water on my head and it was done. Then I was allowed to go back to
my seat.
I didn't care and found that I now had five days straight of detention.
After prayers our lesson was on the difference between me and my. The
same sentence was written twice on the page. First we had to fill in the
blank with either 'me' or 'my' and then we had to repeat the answer
using our real name. Well everyone else's real name I had to sign it
with "Nicole Hoover" or "Nicole Hoover's" as the case may be. Also
because my penmanship was so awful according to Mrs. Brown I had to
write everything in script.
Mrs. Brown gave the students individual handouts for math. Today we
were doing verbal math problems. Each problem on my sheet referred to
Nicole Hoover. Also to reinforce the English lesson, the problems
referred to me and my. It would say things like "Nicole Hoover has two
apples. Mrs. Brown gave me five more apples. How many apples do you
have?" The other students loved that their name was in the problems. I
was a bit annoyed, but I couldn't say anything.
It seemed like the teachers had me on closed circuit surveillance,
because if I did even the smallest thing wrong, I would get into
trouble. The boys in the class were even worse. During lunch one of
the boys asked me, "I heard you think you are a boy." I said "Yes." not
thinking about it. "Then why are you wearing a dress like the girls,"
he laughed as he ran away. He must have told the other boys because now
they all looked for any reason to say my name "Nicky."
They said it with contempt and malice. The teachers said they couldn't
do anything about it, since they were using the name I wanted to be
called. They did suggest that I tell everyone to call me "Nicole." from
now on, so then they could stop them. But I didn't want to be called
Nicole. I didn't finish the tuna fish sandwich but I did finish the
Hershey bar that came with it. At least when it comes to eating of
lunch I am like the rest of the children.
The religion class wasn't too bad. It was actually the only class where
I was learning something. The "Civics for Catholics" always had the same
theme. How to act in public. The lesson was usually heavy handed. 'A
child especially girls is to be respectful to all adults.' Mock
scenarios would be acted out with the students playing a part. I had to
do my best or I was put in a dreaded time out. I don't know why I had
so much trouble with that type of punishment, but I did. Any time I
didn't perform up to expectations the teacher always knew immediately.
We played dodgeball in gym on the second day of school. Somehow I got
one of the first balls and tried to throw it, but it immediately bounced
on the floor. Then a ball was thrown straight into my stomach and I
couldn't catch it. We played three matches that day and I was out
within the first minute of all of them.
In detention after school, I had to spend the whole time learning the
morning prayers. By the end, I had learned them backwards and forwards.
But I still had another three days of detention. No wait, I had four
days, I had gotten detention in another class.
Tiffani picked me up after school again. We went home and I went to my
room and put on the TV. There wasn't much to watch with my limited TV
lineup, but there was little else to do. I didn't want to play with
toys. I somehow fell asleep while watching TV. The next thing I knew I
was tucked in bed and it was morning.
I was determined to spend my days by trying not to get into trouble. I
said my morning prayers with gusto. I should have all along, all the
prayers were about praising God which I didn't mine and God helping me
which I truly needed. I needed someone/ any one to get me away from
this mess. But I was watched like a hawk. I suppose all the students
in the second grade are watched like a hawk, I wasn't really being
treated any differently.
One of the boys pulled my dress up. He said he wanted to see if I was
really a boy. I instinctively pulled it down. That boy was made to
apologize to me and I was told he would get detention. He served his in
a different room than I had detention. I was glad to see I wasn't the
only one getting into trouble.
During one of my lessons, Mrs. Brown said that my script was really
improving. That was the first praise I had ever gotten from her and it
made me smile.
During the religion class, one of the boys threw a ball of paper at me.
I got annoyed and threw it back. The person starting the trouble
sometimes doesn't get into trouble, but the person who retaliates always
does and I was given the choice of a spanking in front of the class or
ten days of detention. I chose the spanking. I was put over the
religion teacher's lap and before her hand came down once, I started
screaming in terror and told her I changed my mine and would take the
detention. Detention had become part of my regular day. I was told
that since I already had so much detention that any infraction in
detention would result in a spanking and there would be no reprieve from
that punishment.
Whatever the sport, I couldn't do it right. I didn't know why, I had
been such a natural athlete growing up...er growing up the first time.
I finally decided to stop trying since I was such a failure and it
didn't really matter. The teacher noticed this and boom another day
added to my growing days of detention.
All my days seemed to run together. They all seemed the same. I had no
friends, how could I, they were all seven years old. Even if I wanted a
friend all the boys had it out for me. I didn't want to play with dolls
with the girls anyway.
One morning, I was feeling a little sick and when I went to pee it hurt.
I told Tiffani and she took me to a doctor. I was examined and when it
was over I was given a lollipop. Later after talking to Tiffani the
doctor told me I had an infection. It was caused by not wiping myself
after I as he put it 'made a tinkle' and that I must do it from now on
or I would get sick again. I was given medicine and sent home. It
really hurt to pee for several days and I decided that wiping myself was
a small price to pay to not have this pain so I resolved to always wipe
after peeing.
One day Mrs. Brown asked to speak with me in private. I didn't know
what I had done. I don't know how many days of detention I still had
left and my butt was sore from the last spanking. It was worse than I
had remembered.
"Nickie," she said, "you know you are the smartest in the class."
"I know," I thought to myself. I would have thought "No shit" but I had
censured even my thoughts to avoid another spanking and a potty mouth
always resulted in a spanking and sometimes that awful tasting soap in
my mouth. So I nodded. "Well there are three girls in our class, you
know them, Tina, Naliza and Paulina. They need help. If you help them
then I'll start removing some of your days of detention."
"When should I help them"
"After school instead of detention."
"You mean I just help them instead of regular detention."
"No, for ever day you help them, I'll remove a day. If you add the day
you are helping them instead of detention that is two days. "OK, I'll do
it." This was the best thing to happen to me all day. Wait it's the
best thing that happened to me since coming to this school.
The three girls were all very bubbly. They weren't dumb, they just had
a problem with some of the work. They just couldn't get it. But I
showed them and they started to pick it up. It was actually fun helping
them. It made me feel good to be helping someone. Teaching these girls
was the first thing that could be considered 'adult' that I had done at
this school.
We had a test on Friday and all three girls passed. After school that
day, Mrs. Brown surprised us with a pizza party to celebrate. It was
actually a lot of fun and I felt very proud. We were studying in a
different room than the detention room and in this room there were
games. I suppose it was the party room for when there were pizza
parties and other non-formal school events. Since, the girls had passed
their test there was no need to study that day, so they were going to
play a game of sorry. They begged me to play and at first I didn't want
to. But they looked heartbroken that I wouldn't play with them so I
did. It was a lot of fun actually. We laughed and played and the girls
told these corny second grade joke which I couldn't resist but to laugh
at. Before I knew it, we were all friends.
Tutoring them became the highlight of my day. My days seemed to fly by.
I didn't get into trouble anymore and I took part in all my classes.
Even my religion classes became enjoyable. That was the one class that
was trying to teach me to endure and to hope things will get better and
that there was salvation if I was good.
The only really dark spot in my day was gym. The sole class that added
to my now diminishing detention count. Mrs. Brown noticed my
improvement in demeanor and knew of my trouble in gym. She then told
me, I could take yoga instead of regular gym. Several of the students
from each grade took yoga instead of regular gym. This is where those
students who I saw leaving the gym was going to instead of gym. I
decided it couldn't be any worse than what I was doing now. I was the
worst player in the whole class. The boys would ridicule me and the
girls would avoid me. Except for my friends, but I was making them look
bad and I didn't want to do that to them. They were among the best girl
athletes in our school and I was starting to feel embarrassed to be on
their team.
It was arranged that day and I was going to start yoga class tomorrow.
I needed to wear a leotard for yoga though like all the rest of the
girls. There weren't any boys taking yoga which was a big plus too. I
went into the alternate locker room and started to get undress. There
were girls from the first grade to the eighth grade (the highest grade
in the middle school.) Right next to my cubbie an eighth grader was
changing. She was an early bloomer. When she took off her bra I could
see she was at least a C cup. I saw her naked breasts in all their
glory. All that I thought about it was that it must be a pain to have
to put on a sports bra, so I continued to change. I loved yoga class.
It seems I am a natural. I can stretch as well or better than all the
other girls in the class. I honestly didn't know I was this flexible.
If I had known I would have taken yoga long ago. With the only fly in
my ointment gone, my days flew by.
I was invited to a slumber party at Naliza's house. The other girls
would be there and so I begged my Mom...er Tiffani to allow me to go. I
didn't want to hurt Naliza's feelings by turning her down. At least
that is what I told myself. We started off with some games like
Monopoly and Clue and Sorry of course. Then Naliza wanted to play with
her dollhouse. At first I said I didn't want to, but they begged me.
It was actually a lot of fun, I could pretend I was the father and no
one said a thing. Then Naliza said we should all switch parts and I had
to play as the Mother. Before long I was really into it and was having
so much fun with my friends I didn't care about whether it was right or
not.
After we finished playing we all went to sleep on the floor. Even
Naliza whose house we were in. The next day I got dressed and Tina
commented about my clothes. I was wearing what I always wore, jeans and
a t-shirt. She said don't you have anything nicer to wear. When she
said nicer I knew she meant prettier or at least girlier. This made me
feel bad. I wanted them to like me, they were my only friends. They
said I am their BFF and I think they are right. The next time we got
together outside of school, I wore prettier clothes. After a while all
us girls pretty much wore the same things all the time. We started to
see each other a lot after school. They had convinced me to join their
dance class. I was also naturally a very good dancer, especially since
I was also practicing yoga.
One day, the class went on a field trip, but I wasn't allowed to go
because of all the detention I had racked up. But that is coming to an
end soon. With my friends gone I had to return to the detention room.
Inside the room there was a man dressed in a jumper and tights like I
was. It wasn't happening to just me, it was happening to someone else
too. I had become a model student recently so I was given more leeway
in detention. I found an excuse and went up to sit next to the man and
said I know what you are going through. "What are you talking about."
the man whispered. "You know the whole losing everything and being put
back into grade school as a girl. I know. It is happening to me too.
You can see that."
"I don't know what you are talking about."
"You are not really a girl, I can see that."
"I am too a girl, just like you, stop teasing me."
"No, you are not, you are a man!"
"Am not, I may not be a man, but I am older than you I am in fourth
grade. What grade are you in first grade?"
"No I am in second grade. No wait, I shouldn't be in any grade at all."
"TEACHER, TEACHER, THIS LITTLE GIRL IS BOTHERING ME." the man shouted
calling the attention of the detention teacher.
The detention teacher, pulled me by the arm and took me to a corner to
give me a spanking. The first one I had had in a long time. But this
time I was too distracted to notice the spanking. All I could think was
this man actually believes he is a little girl. I had better get out of
here before I'll go crazy like he did. Then the pain got to me. After
ten swats the spanking stopped. By that time I would try and get away
from this at all costs.
The next day after school an older boy saw me try to leave the school
alone. He said if I tried I would get caught but he could help me by
distracting one of the attendants. This wouldn't have worked before,
but I had been so good for so long that I could get away with things now
that I never could before. He told me what to do and where to wait. I
did as he said and soon he and I were off of school grounds. He said if
I went with him and held his hand no one would say anything. I did as I
was told just wanting to get away. I really hadn't thought of what to
do after escaping.
"What is your name?" he asked. I told him Nicky.
After we had gotten far enough away I told him, that I was going to go
on my own. But he convinced me to go a bit further. A little while
later I insisted he let go of my hand. Then he wrapped his arm around
me and put his hand over my mouth and led me to where he wanted to go.
I was helpless. I couldn't get away . I thought he was going to kill
me. For a moment there I had resigned myself to my fate. I didn't
really want to be a little girl anyway. But when he got me to a
secluded area, he forced me down and then I saw him open the button on
his jeans. It was then that I realized that what he wanted to do was so
much worse than to just kill me. I was going to be violated. I was so
scared I couldn't think anymore. I couldn't even struggle. I just
started crying. I was balling like a little baby, I couldn't help
myself. I could hear him saying over and over again "Nicky, you are
going to like this." Then at the last moment, when he was going to
force his, I can't even say what it was, into my mouth, I heard a
familiar voice.
"GET YOUR FUCKING HANDS OFF OF MY DAUGHTER YOU PERVERT," Mommy demanded.
She then lifted him bodily and pulled him off of me. She then punched
him hard across the mouth. He laid there until the police came to take
him away. I threw myself into Mommy's arms and kissed her. I had never
loved her more than I did at that moment. I didn't love her like an
adult with his girlfriend or even fiancee or wife. I loved her with the
complete all consuming love a child has for her Mommy. I loved her, I
wanted her, I needed her with every ounce of me.
I didn't return to school the next day or the next. I started to see a
therapist who helped me get over the incident. When I returned to
school, all my BFFs were happy to see me. Happy isn't a strong enough
word. It was as happy as a person could be and I was just as happy to
see them too.
With the love of my Mommy and my friends and the help of a therapist I
got back to normal. But I just couldn't stand to hear anyone call me
Nicky anymore so I told them from now on I want to be called Nicole.
All of the teachers and staff were very supportive and I tried to be the
best "Young Lady" I could. On the last day of second grade, I won the
award for smartest student. That is OK, but I hoped I would win the
award for best in religious studies. It was through religion that I
learned that is was Jesus acting through Mommy who saved me. That I was
being punished for not believing. But Jesus loves me and forgives me
and I will dedicate my life to him.
"And that was it?" Joanna asked. "Well, pretty much. The VR machine did
pump a lot of drugs into him to get him to do stuff. Not only the ones
that gave him great pleasure, there was also hypnotic drugs. The
hypnotic drugs had to be given at a time when he was open to what it
wanted him to believe. Why else would he learn to like to play with
dolls with the girls. When he finally cried during the attack that was
the first time he cried throughout this entire procedure and that was
the turning point. He even figuratively let Nicky go and became Nicole.
During the therapy after the attack, more direct methods could be used
to permanently remove the Nick persona from his mind and reinforce the
Nicole persona.
Here is how one of the therapy sessions went. Nick was hypnotized.
Inside the VR it looked quite conventional with the watching the shiny
object and counting down from 10. But in real life Nick was pumped with
powerful drugs. Once Nick was fully under the psychiatrist asked,
"Nickie can you hear me?"
"Yes"
"I know you are hurting. I can take all the hurt away. Do you want me
to help you?"
"Yes"
"OK, I want you to imagine there is a huge trunk in front of you and it
is opened. Can you see the trunk?"
"Yes"
"I want you to put all the things that have hurt you into the trunk.
When it is full, we'll lock the trunk so those things can't hurt you any
more."
"OK"
"What was the first thing that hurt you."
"When I was attacked."
"OK, put everything you remember about being attacked into the trunk."
Nick in his mind put the events in the secluded room into the trunk. "Is
that all?"
"I think so."
"You you remember running away?"
"Yes"
"Shouldn't you put that into the trunk too?"
"OK"
"Where did you run away from?"
"I was in detention."
"Did you like detention?"
"No"
"So it hurt you?"
"Yes"
"Shouldn't you put that into the trunk too?"
"OK"
"Why was you in detention?"
"I did bad things?"
"I wouldn't act like the other girls"
"And doing those things got you into trouble and hurt you?"
"Yes"
"Shouldn't you put them also in the trunk"
At th