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THE AWAKENING By Betty Noone The Beginning Howard Polk, Age 34, and Margaret (Maggie) Polk, age 33 were in the kitchen of their home having the most important conversation of their lives since their marriage ten years ago. They were both college professors with doctorate degrees, he in History and she in Economics. While very young for such an honor, they were both tenured at their school and each earned just short of $100,000.00 a year. They had two children, a boy named Mark, age 5, and a girl named Cindy, age 3. They lived off campus in a four bedroom, two story residence which was almost paid for. They had the respect of the community, and between them finances was not a problem. Professors have a lot of time off and they spent it on wonderful trips together and later on with the kids. Life is good. Until now. "Are you sure you want to do this?" Maggie demanded. "Yes. I cannot tell you why. But I really want to do it. I have had these urges since I was sixteen, and lately I have found that I cannot resist them any longer. I have to do this." This year Howard was eligible for a full year of sabbatical and he wanted to spend it as Maggie's maid. The idea of the sabbatical was to continue research and come back with more knowledge, but too often those taking it used it for other purposes, and the university could do little about it. "You have been on my back with this craziness for the last six months, and I can't take it anymore," she said. "You say you have to do it. Is this your final decision?" "Mag, I don't know what has taken over me. It is something I want to do...have to do." "O.K. But remember, be careful what you wish for, it may not be what you expected. When do you want to start this foolishness?" "It is two months before the end of the semester. I can start then." Exactly five weeks later, they were again at the kitchen table having another discussion on the same topic. "Well, it is soon time for you to start your adventure. I have to ask you one last time, can I talk you out of this?" "No. My mind is made up." "O.K. then. I didn't expect you to say otherwise, so I have met with my attorney and have had some documents prepared to protect us both." With that she reaches for a manila binder that is resting on the table and pulls out some papers. "What's this?" he asked. "First, this is a power of attorney putting me in full charge of any health issues you may have. It gives me the authority to make all decisions relating to your health and care. You will not have any say about the care and maintenance of your body." At the top of the page, printed in bold letters, was. IMPORTANT DOCUMENT. READ CAREFULLY BEFORE SIGNING. Howard was so eager to get on with it, he picked up the pen and signed the document without reading it, and handed it to his wife. Maggie then handed him another document which had a heading of Power of Attorney, and the same disclaimer as the first document was printed at the top of the page. "Why do I have to sign a power of attorney form?" "In your status as a maid you will not have access to banks or the need to control your finances, whatever they may be. I will take care of whatever monies you have and spend them as necessary on your behalf. You will have to trust me on this. I won't cheat you. Whenever you want your money it will be available to you. Whatever is left of it, that is. After income taxes your sabbatical bonus comes to $83,750.00. I will spend it only on your behalf. I will not use any of it for my own needs, but I have to have the freedom to spend it without having to have a meeting with you to discuss it." Again, Howard picked up the pen and signed it. Margaret took the signed documents, put them back in the folder and told Howard that they would placed in the safety deposit box at the bank. "Meeting is over." Maggie then said, got up, took the documents and left the room, leaving Howard sitting there, a bit puzzled by his wife's sudden coldness. Several days later, Maggie called for another meeting. From the day Howard signed the documents he was told to sleep in the guest bedroom as he was no longer welcome in the marital bed. Excited about the prospects of being the maid for a full year, he found that he did not object to this sudden change in his wife's attitude. "I have made arrangements with a doctor for you to have breast implants. If you are going to be my maid for a full year, I will expect you to look the part, best you can. At the end of the year, if you so desire, you can have them removed., But, we'll see about that." Howard who had been preparing himself for his new role, became much mores submissive than before, and merely said, "O.K." When?" "You will have them done the first day of your new status, which is less than two weeks away. In the meantime I would like you to empty the closets and dressers of your belongings that are in my closet and put them in garbage bags and store them in the basement. You will not be needing any male clothes as a maid. I will not be having you in any sort of uniform, so if that is part of your fantasy, forget about it. You will however, be dressed as a female at all times while you are the maid." Howard just nodded, but that wasn't good enough for Maggie. "What! I didn't hear you." "I didn't say anything." "Well, you better acknowledge that you understand what I just said," "Yes, maam." "That's better. You better start doing it now. No time like the present. We don't have much time left before your surgery." "Am I not going to meet with the doctor first?" "No. I have already taken care of all the details." Howard was surprised when on the very first day of his vacation, Maggie drove him to the clinic for the surgery. He was surprised that the procedure was not going to be done in a hospital. The clinic was located in a run-down neighborhood. They walked in, Maggie told Howard to sit in the waiting room while she met with the doctor. She then walked to the receptionist, spoke to her briefly and was escorted to the back. After fifteen minutes she returned and said that the doctor was ready for him. The doctor entered the waiting room, walked up to Howard, and introduced himself. Howard was surprised that the doctor was from India and spoke with a strong accent. He looked at Margaret questioningly, and she said, "It's OK Howard. I checked him out and he knows what to do. You will be here for several days" The doctor took Howard by the arm and escorted him back to the operating room. While he was being prepped for the surgery by an Hispanic nurse, who also spoke very little English, he was unaware that Margaret left the building, got into her car and drove home. After The Surgery The Letter Howard opened his eyes, and was temporarily confused as to where he was. After a moment or two he realized he was probably still at the clinic in a recovery room. The room resembled an ordinary hospital room, even though he knew he was not actually in a hospital. "Good morning. I see you are awake." Howard looked toward where the voice was coming from and he saw a middle aged black woman sitting in a chair in the corner of the room. "I will get you some coffee, I'll be right back." It took a few moments when she returned holding a styrofoam cup and handed it to him. He took a few sips, and found that it tasted good. "You have been sedated for a full day after the surgery so that you would not be in too much pain when you awakened," the lady said. "Finish your coffee, I have something for you when you are done." Howard drained the cup, and it felt good going down. He did start to feel the soreness in his body from the surgery. Without saying anything further, the black lady handed him a large manila envelope. He opened it and took out several pieces of paper stapled together, and began to read: Beulah: When you made your final decision to become my maid, and that was your fantasy, I made some decisions of my own on your behalf. The past two months I have been quite busy and I will tell you what has been done. First, let's get to the surgery. Obviously you are not in a first class hospital, or any hospital for that matter. What I wanted done to you no legitimate doctor or hospital would allow it. So I found this guy who insists that he is really a doctor but cannot get his license from the State to practice medicine because of the language barrier. You wanted boobs. Well, I gave you boobs. You probably cannot see them now because of the bandages but they are the size of little watermelons. Really nice ripe watermelons. You will soon realize that having that weight constantly on your chest will become a real nuisance. You will also realize that they often get in the way, but you will get used to it, eventually. Then I authorized some facial surgery for you. The doctor removed some cartilage from your nose, shortened it a bit, and mashed it down. There is a reason for this which I will explain further, in this letter. He also injected your lips with collagen so that they are pronounced like so many black people. Next and you are not going to like this. In your transformation to be a woman I had you castrated. Yes, you have no nuts. When you finally get to my house, (yes, it is my house now.) I do not want you to have access to your penis. So, I had the doctor insert some plastic balls back into your scrotum in order for the ring to be attached to your scrotum and penis which is now holding the chastity device. Yes, this will be attached to you forever. Don't look for the key, there is no key. I had the parts soldered so that they cannot be removed. I have been assured that if you soap the vents that are on the tube you can keep yourself sanitary. In order to keep your prostate healthy, you will have to be milked at least once each month. Before you leave the doctor will perform this for you, and show you how to do it yourself. Nobody wants to do it for you, so you will have to learn how. He will give you a thin, flexible dildo to insert and find your prostate to massage. From what I have been told it will be best if you are on the floor on your hands and knees while this is done. You will find that there will be no ejaculation or sexual pleasure from it, just an oozing of your fluids. Put some paper on the floor so you don't make a mess. But to maintain your health, the doctor advises that you do not forget this procedure every month. The doctor will give you a prescription for some kind of estrogen drugs for you to take to complete your transition. It will be good for one year...fifty two weeks. It will cost you $100.00 for each shot and you have to inject yourself either in your thigh or buttocks once a week for a full year. If you have the doctor do it, it costs another $100.00 a shot, and I didn't think you could afford it. Before you leave you will be instructed as to how to safely do this. Finally, and here is the good part. You will notice that your skin color is quite a bit darker than normal. You have been given a dose of melanin. Not ordinary melanin, but an experimental drug, which while I am assured is safe to use, is not authorized by the FDA for use on humans, yet. By the end of today your skin should be the color of chocolate. This will last for only three months, but you will return to this clinic in two weeks for a booster shot, and it will become permanent. I advise you to do this because if you don't your skin will become blotched all over. You will look like you have some sort of exotic disease and people will shun you. So you are not only going to be a woman, but a black woman. So far, I have spent $23,500.00 of your money. The woman who is now in your room has been hired by you at the cost of $2,000.00 a month for two months. She will train you in how to be (first) a black woman, and (second) how to be a maid working for white folks. Her name is Katisha and she will take you to her home and begin your training. Pay attention. The sooner she tells me that she is satisfied, the sooner you will be able to come to my home to work. If it takes another month for this to happen, I have authorized it. She will be your mentor, and I hope that you two can become friends. As I said, I have been busy on your behalf. You know that I have several judges who are my friends and they have been very helpful. So you will find that you have a new identity to go with your new looks. Your name is Beulah Washington. Howard Polk no longer exists. Find your new birth certificate showing that is who you are. You are going to be a lower class black person so I had your birthplace changed to South Carolina. I was able to change your name and your race, but they balked at changing your gender until that actually happens, if that is what you will want eventually. I also had your name changed at the social security department, and you will find a new social security card from the government with your new name. Your number has not been changed so that all of the money you paid into it will not be lost. Of course, you realize that we are now divorced. Howard does not exist. I made a deal with the University and we agreed on this: If you never come back they will deposit (given to me) an additional $30,000.00 in cash. I had to really fight for this and they finally agreed to pay your health insurance premiums and cover you for ten years. Now to you and me. My children, yes, they are my children are still young. As you know my daughter, the youngest, is three. I figure that I can guarantee your employment for at least ten years. If you are lucky, fifteen. We'll see. Your parental rights have been terminated. What court, looking at you, would give you those rights, anyway? I have prepared an employment contract which I will ask you to sign the first day you arrive for work. It is for one year only, as I have been advised by my attorney that an employment contract for longer than one year may not be valid in this State. I promise that I will renew the contract each year for a minimum of ten years, provided that you don't have me dismiss you for cause. You, on the other hand, may quit whenever you so desire. Your work week will be Monday through Friday, plus one day per month on weekends, should I so desire. You will be given room and board, plus $200.00 per week in cash. This will not be taken from your personal funds, but I will accept this as my expense. Some final things and then I will be done. When you arrive, you may not, and will never recognize me or the children or any of my friends and colleagues by any means. You will look like a stranger, and if I find out that you have tried to tell my children it will be cause for instant dismissal. You will address me as Mrs. Polk, or Ma'am. You will be respectful at all times and know your place in my household. I will not abuse you in any way, and our relationship at all times will be employer and employee. Should you need to make any inquiry as to your remaining cash balances that would be in my care, you may do so only by mail. We will never have such discussions face to face. Now I have to tell you, that you hurt me. I never believed in a million years that you would really go through with this. I told you more than once, be careful what you wish for. Well, I took your fantasy to another level. You will be a lower class black woman for the rest of your life. You not only destroyed what I thought was a pretty good marriage, but in your excitement you were willing to walk away from our marriage, our children and our life together. You also left without caring that I now had to live on half the income that I enjoyed when we were together. I am making enough that I can stay in this house, but you have taken away the extras that our joint income provided. I will no longer enjoy taking those special vacations. That is all I have to say for now. I think I have said everything that needed to be said. I will look forward to seeing Beulah come to work. When you are through reading this letter, give it to Katisha and she will burn it. If you like, read it again, so that it burns in your mind. While Beulah was reading the letter, tears began to roll down his cheeks. He wanted to be a maid, it would be fun. He thought the kids would accept him and still call him 'daddy.' He didn't expect to be a black woman. He didn't expect it to be lifelong. But it was too late now. Katisha, seeing the tears handed him a tissue. Beulah let him read the letter once more, then took it from him and then left the room. She took it to a sink, put a match to it, and watched it while it burned to a crisp. While she was out of the room Beulah put his hand on his crotch and felt the plastic around his penis. His hands then went to his chest where he found his boobs. They were huge and floppy. Then he realized that a lot of big black women have humongous breasts. And now, so does he. Katisha came back into the room with a pan of warm water and a special comb. In preparation for this day, he had not had his hair cut, so while it was far from shoulder length, it was long enough for what Katisha planned to do. "Gonna do your hair, girl." she announced. She went around to the head of the bed where she was able to reach the hair on his head. "You don't have kinky hair, but with this style, nobody will know." With that she wet the comb and began to fill his head with corn rows. It took almost four hours for her to complete this. She finished the ends by putting them into little colored beads that had holes drilled into them for this purpose. During the four hours, the doctor came in, examined him and pronounced him fit to be discharged. He was served lunch. By this time the color of his skin was turning browner by the minute. By the time it was ready for his estrogen, the change was complete. The doctor returned with the needle for his first estrogen shot, gave Beulah instructions as to how to inject himself. Finally, the doctor and the nurse helped him out of the bed and had him go on his hands and knees on the tile floor. The nurse put a piece of plastic under him and the doctor lubed and inserted the narrow dildo, finding the prostate gland. He found it quickly and manipulated the dildo in order to massage the prostate. Beulah was in tears, not from pain, but from embarrassment as no-one left the room while the doctor did this. Slowly at first, but a dribble came out of the plastic shell holding Beulah's penis, then as the doctor continued to push and turn the dildo, a slow stream of semen went on the plastic. There was no sexual release. The nurse handed Beulah a wet, warm towel and he wiped himself. The doctor then gently removed the bandages from Beulah's face and chest. He carefully removed the bandage that was covering the suture on the scrotum. His face was black and blue, the doctor said it would heal in a couple of weeks. The doctor shook Beulah's hand, wished him luck. and went to see other patients. "Let's get you dressed, honey," Katisha said. With that she handed him a paper shopping bag filled with clothes. "Put these on. Because you are so tender there, I will help you with your bra, but you must learn to do this yourself." With that she took out a huge bra, 48D and gently inserted the little watermelons into the cups and then adjusted the straps and clipped the back together. He was handed cotton panties which he put on. Then a cotton slip. Finally a housedress in his size along with lace up shoes with a two inch heel. "These clothes are not new!" Beulah complained. "I got them at good will. Where we are going, you will be marked if you wear new stuff, except for going to church on Sunday. I am taking you to my home. You not only will stay with me during recovery, but from this day on, you will learn what it is to be a black woman. In any case, the clothes are clean. That is where we folks get our stuff. We cannot afford to shop in regular stores." When Beulah finally got dressed, Katisha took a ladies handbag from the shopping bag. She put lipstick on Beulah's sore and puffy lips, and said, "Let's go." They walked out of the clinic and no-body said 'goodbye'. "Where is your car?" Beulah asked. "People like us don't have cars. A car in my neighborhood, unless you are in one of the gangs, won't last ten minutes. No, we use the El and busses. And we walk." They waited on the corner at least 45 minutes before the bus Katisha was looking for came by. Then they had to transfer to two more buses in order to get off, and then walk the two blocks to where Katisha lived. This was almost more than Beulah could physically take, being weakened from the effects of the surgery. But time does not wait, and Katisha told him there was much to do. It is now late afternoon, but Spring time has arrived and it is still light out. Katisha advised Beulah that it was sort of safe to walk the streets when it was light, but that the gangs came out after dark, not only to sell drugs, but to arrogantly give everyone else a hard time. Never, never, go out by yourself after dark in this neighborhood. By the time they got to the apartment building and walked up the three flights Beulah was exhausted physically and mentally. Too much has happened that was unexpected, and he was not ready. He noted the condition of the neighborhood he was now in and how different it was from where he once lived. The trees were dead. Litter and garbage filled the little patches of lawn in front of the buildings. Some houses were boarded up, abandoned. So different from the large, grassed home sites, and pretty houses from just a few days ago. Upstairs, Katisha showed him to his room. which contained a single bed with a thin mattress, a dresser and small closet. He noticed that the closet had some clothes already hanging in it, and correctly assumed that they were for him. Exhausted, he lay on his small bed, closed his eyes, and promptly fell asleep. He thought he was asleep for only a minute or so, when he felt someone gently shaking him. "Wake up, girl," Katisha said gently. "Where am I?" Beulah said groggily. "You're home. Put some cold water on your face. It is time to eat." He got up, found the only bathroom and put some cold water on his face. He suddenly noticed his hands and face. They were chocolate brown. He looked at his legs,..brown. He picked up his skirt and checked his belly. He was chocolate brown all over. With the corn rows on his head, the flattened nose, the puffed lips, he was a black woman! It frightened him a little, but he was hungry and he put the fear aside and went to the kitchen to eat. He sat at a rickety wooden table about the size of a card table and a chair that had once been painted a white enamel, which was now yellow with age and pocked with flaked paint. Katisha served up two plates, one for each of them. There was grits, collard greens and one pork chop. He never had grits before, nor greens, the pork chop fried in bacon grease. but he was so hungry that everything tasted good. He finished the entire plate quickly. "We folks buy only what we can eat that day. We can't afford to make extra food. You will learn our way" It was a long day for Beulah and by 8:30PM was ready to go to bed. Katisha handed him some bed linens and he made his bed. He found a cotton nightgown hanging in the closet and put it on, He went to the bathroom and realized that from here on he would have to sit to pee. He finished and climbed into bed. Just before he closed his eyes, he looked at his brown arms and hands, and wondered what had happened to him? What had he done? It was precisely 3:17AM when Beulah was awakened by a noise. He didn't know what it was, but lay in bed, his heart racing. Then he heard it again. Six shots fired from an automatic rifle rang out in the night. He quickly got out of bed, and went to Katisha's bedroom. "What is it, Beulah? "I think I heard shots." "You did. It happens most ever night, child. You will soon pay no never mind. Go back to bed." He did as he was told, but it took some time before his heart began to beat normally, and he was able to fall asleep again. The neighborhood was quiet for the rest of the night. When he awoke, he thought to himself, "Shots. What have I done?" He got out of bed washed himself, found a toothbrush and a paper cup with baking soda in it. There was no toothpaste, so he wet the toothbrush and used that. When he mentioned the lack of toothpaste to Katisha, she said that baking soda was cheaper. In the kitchen Katisha had him stand next to her at the stove while she showed him how to prepare grits. When the grits were ready, Katisha fried the bacon and Beulah fried the eggs. He looked for the butter in the fridge and finding none asked where it was. "Butter too 'spensive. We use bacon grease for all our cookin'" There was a mason jar of grease resting on the counter filled three quarters to the top. When Katisha finished frying the bacon, she brought the skillet to the mason jar and poured the grease in the skillet into the jar. Bacon grease is used for all cooking. According to Katisha there is only one way black folks like their eggs. Fried on both sides until the yolk gets hard. Beulah soon found out that this is what was for breakfast every day. No juice, no fruit, no cereal. Bacon, eggs and grits. By now Beulah was getting used to seeing that he was brown and stopped fretting about it. There was no full length mirror in the apartment but he thought he looked OK, When he asked Katisha for confirmation, she said, "You gonna be OK, bitch." "What are we going to do today, Katisha?" "We gots to wait 'til 10. The store don't open 'til then. We gots to get you some more clothes." There was to be no idle time for Beulah. It was only 8:30 by the time the breakfast dishes were washed and put away and it was too early to shopping. Katisha used the time to patiently show Beulah how to thread a needle and thread and how to mend a torn seam. Never having done it before, it took a little time for Beulah to get the hang of getting the thread through the needle. But Kaitsha was patient. Sitting by his side, and gently encouraging him to do it properly. They left the apartment at 9:45 as it was a four block walk to the store. On the way Katisha said, "Ever body calls me 'Kat'. You can too. I gonna call you 'Boo' 'cause Beulah too much of a mouthful to say all the time. OK?" Boo nodded his assent. They got to the store just a little after ten and the front door was just being unlocked by an employee. Boo found the walk tiring, particularly now that he had ten pounds of breast pulling on his shoulder and giving him a backache. He mentioned it to Kat and she said he would get used to it, but that's the way it is. Boo didn't say anything, but was very disappointed that the store was a Salvation Army Resale shop. They went inside and Boo quickly found out that there were a lot of black women with big feet and needing big sizes of other clothing. Finding shoes to fit in size 12 was not a problem. They found one pair for daily use, so that Boo could change off, and one dressier pair for going out and for church. They found underwear, coat, blouses and a hat. "Why do I need a hat? I don't think my wife owns even one hat," he blurted. "Listen, nigga, you aint got a wife." Kat angrily replied. "You'se is a black bitch, and you better come to terms with it. We know white ladies don't no more wear hats, but no decent black woman goes to church without one. And on Sunday we is going to church." They had three shopping bags full of clothes, all of them used, but in good condition. This should be enough to tide Boo over for the next couple of months. The total bill came to $117.43 and Kat made a note of the amount as she would be reimbursed by Mrs. Polk. They also bought a wallet, a comb and brush. At the jewelry section Boo selected a nice ladies' watch and several rings. The doctor had pierced his ears and there were studs in them now, but when the holes healed new earrings could be put in. Kat selected a pair of really large hoops and told him that was what he would wear when his ear lobes were ready. They walked back home, having to stop to rest several times along the way, as the walk was still too much for Boo to make otherwise. By the time they got home it was time for lunch. Both Kat and Boo helped to make lunch. Grits, spaghetti from a can, and Wonder Bread. Wonder Bread. Boo forgot that Wonder Bread was even on the market. In his previous life all bread came from the bakery. Grits was served at breakfast, and now at lunch. Kat sensed the question and said, "Grits is three times most ever day. Better get to likin' it, 'cause youse is gonna it it all da time." It was Kat's plan that Boo not have any idle time to ponder his plight. She had plans to keep him busy from the time he woke up until the time he went to bed. During lunch, Boo asked Kat why she talked so 'black' when she spoke much better at the clinic. "We folks got to speak two languages. One for the white folks, and then our own kind of talk. When I am home I speak like ever one else in the 'hood. It might take me a day to get back into it, but I am more comfortable speaking my own kind. And you better get to start speakin' lak ah do, 'cause you aint gonna last long out here if you don't." The entire afternoon was spent in learning how to separate the clothes for washing, how to clean and sterilize the bathrooms, and how to be on one's hands and knees, hand washing a floor. This was not for Kat. This was to learn what to do for the white lady. He was then taught how to iron. It took a little doing as Boo was impatient and tried to iron too quickly. It didn't come out exactly right and Kat had him do it over and over again until he learned. Several times Boo let the iron get too hot and burned the fabric. Angrily Kat called him a dumb black bitch, and by now, Boo's nerves were frayed, and he put the iron down, and sat down on the kitchen chair, put his hands to his swollen face and began to cry. And cry he did. Kat let him cry himself out and gave him no outward sympathy. Privately she felt sorry for him, but this was all part of breaking him down and making him learn his new and low status in life. Kat knew that there would be times when the white lady would lace into him just as she did. He had to learn/ After dinner, more grits, beans and fatback. Boo ate with relish as he was being run ragged, and by the time meal time came around was quite hungry. He began to enjoy what was served, even if everything was fried in bacon grease. That night shots again rang out in the middle of the night waking Boo up, but this time his heart did not race from fear. He waited a few minutes to make sure that all the firing was over, and soon closed his eyes and returned to sleep. In the morning, when washing up and giving himself a quick shave, he noticed that the swelling and puffiness around his face and around his breasts was significantly reduced. When he was alone he often found his hand circling the chastity belt, but instead of finding a penis found the plastic tube. In time, these explorations became fewer and fewer. He found out that with his humongous and heavy breasts he not only needed to wear his bra all day, but needed a night bra to sleep in. Otherwise he would wake up from the pain when he rolled over on one of his breasts. The first couple of nights he was so tired, it didn't bother him but when he became more rested he found that the little colored beads at the end of his corn rows hurt his head when he laid down. Kat told him that he would get used to it. That corn rows was the best style for him now as he only has to have them taken down and re- plaited once every six weeks. He asked about washing his hair, and was told that when the hair is set, a special gel is used and that the hair needs no shampoo until the next set. Saturday came and Kat usually went out on the town that night. Because Boo's body had not completely recovered enough she stayed home with Boo. He was not to be left by himself for even one minute. Instead, she used the time to begin to show him how to use the sewing machine. There was an old Singer in the closet which was brought out. Boo got involved with running a straight seam, and when he learned that fairly well, was shown how to do it with different fabrics. Boo was amazed at how time flew by when one was sewing. He found that he liked to sew and mentioned that perhaps he could get a pattern or two and make some things for himself. "Too'spensive," Kat told him. Jus' do as I tole you." "Yas'm" Boo found himself saying. Boo was told to be ready at 8:30 AM the next morning, being Sunday. He was told to put on his best dress, and for the first time, nylons, and the good shoes. And not to forget to wear the hat. They left a few minutes after that and walked five blocks to the church. Eighty percent of the congregation was women. Those men who did attend looked uncomfortable. The preacher began the service and spoke softly at first. Behind the altar an organist and drummer played hymns or accompanied the preacher's text. After about fifteen minutes, the preacher began to warm up. Salvation, Repent! And the congregation responded with 'amens'. By the half hour mark of the preacher's oration he had the congregation on their feet, hands clapping, turning around in place, some running up and down the aisle in ecstasy. Boo had never experienced anything like this before. At first he sat in his card table chair (the auditorium did not have pews) and observed the goings on. But before he realized what he was doing, he was on his feet, clapping and saying 'amen' along with the rest of them. By the time the preacher was finished everyone in the building was spent. Ushers then passed around the donation baskets and Kat put in ten dollars. She whispered that she put in five dollars for him and that she would add it to the bill she sent to the white lady. White lady! Boo has been kept so busy that he forgot about his wife and children, and for a brief moment began to wonder how they were doing, but his reverie was interrupted by being introduced to the pastor. He was welcomed warmly and hugged. The hug took him by surprise, but he responded. He realized that this was the first sign of affection that was shown to him during the entire week, and he missed it. He promised the preacher that he would return the following Sunday and would probably soon become a member. A group of volunteer ladies served coffee, iced tea and cookies. Boo was taken around and introduced to many people, all of whom greeted him warmly. It must be remembered that while Boo is referred to as 'he' he is presenting himself as a black female and that is what everyone who meets him thinks he is. He is a male because he still has his penis, and because his new birth certificate says so. Until other developments may (or may not occur, he will be referred to in the male gender.) After the social at the church a group of ten ladies walked to the local restaurant catering to the residents of the neighborhood. It was now 1 PM and every one was exhausted from the church experience, but everyone was also getting hungry. Boo had been to many lunch buffets in his previous life, but never one like this. The restaurant was a store front and the owner had a table reserved for them as this was a weekly affair. It was $4.95 all you can eat. There were steam tables with all sorts of foods, not of which Boo was familiar with. Biscuits and gravy, sweet potato pie, pecan pie..all sorts of stuff. And of course, grits. Boo sampled many of the dishes on the trays of the steam table. Some he liked, others he didn't care for too much, but he ate enough to satisfy his hunger, and what he ate, he liked. It was 1:30 PM by the time Kat and Boo walked home. The streets were quiet and relatively safe. It was a warm spring day and many of the tenants were sitting on the stoops in the front of the house, making conversation with one another. That day the outside temperature got up to 84 degrees and the apartment was stifling when they got inside. They opened as many windows as they could, but there was no cross ventilation because other tenement building were in the way. There was no air conditioning nor even an electric fan. Boo asked what they did when summer came and the temperatures was much higher and was told that they 'sweat'. He had a thought that white folks had air conditioning and not realizing it at the time, it was the first time he identified as 'us' against 'them.' He first realized the conveniences that the whites take for granted that are not available to those blacks living in the ghetto. When they got home, Boo was allowed to take a 45 minute nap, after which he was awakened by Kat, who brought him into the small living room and they both sat next to each other on the ratty sofa, and Kat began to teach Boo how to knit and crochet. While this was happening they had television on. Sunday afternoon had football games, golf contests and basketball, but Kat put on the Black Entertainment Channel, and they watched some mindless shows. All the while both kept their hands busy crocheting. Boo was merely crocheting a patch so that he get used to doing the stitches before he went on to a pattern. By 8 PM he was told to get to bed as they had to be up and out of the house by 6:30 AM and in order to do so, the latest he would be allowed to sleep was 5 AM. Boo asked why, and was told he was going to accompany her to her job as a cleaning lady. They had to leave at 6:30 in order to be at the white lady's house by 8AM. And there was two busses and one 'L' train involved in order to get there. He was given an old wind up alarm clock and he set the clock accordingly. They both were ready and on their way in time. Boo was accustomed to having time work for him. He found out that black ladies are slaves of time. They have to accommodate their schedules to the transportation system. If it takes an hour and a half to get to their destination, then it takes an hour and a half, and one merely has to do it. That with a car it would take thirty minutes or less to make the same trip is immaterial, because they don't have a car, and can't afford one. Spring was in full bloom, so the ladies did not need any coats or sweaters. They each carried their own handbag, holding in the crook of the elbow by the strap. When they arrived in the suburbs, the trees had all their leaves out, the fruit trees were in full bloom, and many of the gardens had beautiful displays of tulips, lilacs and other early blooming flowers. But they had to walk fast to get to their destination, and could not pay any attention to it. When they arrived at the white lady's house Boo began to walk up the front walk to the door, and was stopped by Kat. She told him the help always used the back door. Also, if he had to go to the bath room he must only use the one at the back of the house, and never any of the family bathrooms. Kat introduced Boo to the white lady and told her that Boo was her cousin in from South Carolina and that she would help with the cleaning, that is, if the white lady didn't mind. Kat made it plain that there would be no extra charge for Boo's work. The white lady had no objection. The white lady was very nice and asked if they would like a cup of coffee before they started. Boo would have liked one, but Kat told the lady, "Thank you ma'am. But we better get to work now." When the white lady left the room, Kat whispered to Boo, "They will always try to be polite and offer you something. You must never take it. They then feel that they have to sit with you and make talk. You must learn that you are not their equal, and you are here to clean, nothing more." Boo did notice how Kat's English improved when she was among the whites. It was Boo's first time on his hands and knees scrubbing the kitchen floor. He was assigned all of the dirty work, and Kat supervised him to make sure that it was done properly. They took a fifteen minute lunch break, and the lady fed them baloney sandwiches. Later, Kat told Boo that baloney was all she was ever served for lunch. It was the cheapest meat one can buy, but if you are hungry enough, you eat it. They worked until 4 PM when Kat announced to the white lady that they were done and ready to leave. The white lady handed her an envelope with cash for her day's work. The lady also gave Boo ten dollars, and Kat said she didn't have to do that, but the white lady insisted, and Boo took the money. It was the first money he had in his purse since the surgery. Up to now Kat took care of all expenses. He knew that anything spent on him was going to be paid back. At the end of the day they both were tired, and had to walk back to the bus stop to catch the transportation on the way home. It will be past 6 PM before they got home. When they finally got to their neighborhood, Boo noticed that Kat clutched her purse close to her body, lest anyone try to snatch it. And so for the next ten days, Boo was constantly being tutored. He learned how to cook for themselves, and also was taught how to cook for the white folks. Black folks eat a lot of fat, white folks a lot of lean. Blacks do not eat much fresh fruit or vegetables except those that come from the South. The days flew by and each day his swelling and bruising cleared up. By the time it was ready to re-visit the clinic he could see how he was going to look. Chocolate brown, all over, a mashed-in and flat nose, full lips, covered with a head of corn rows. He became more accustomed to the weight of his humongous breasts and while he thought he would enjoy having real breasts of his own, he realized that they were such a bother, and constantly in his way. Their weight also made his back hurt, and he had to stand erect to compensate for that. But he made the very picture of a heavy black woman. Unless someone grabbed at his penis, no-one would be able to tell. The doctor examined him carefully and pronounced everything a success. He reminded Boo that he had to use the dildo in ten days time, and Boo shuddered a little, but nodded his head in assent. The next Sunday both ladies went to church, where the pastor greeted them warmly and again welcomed Boo to the congregation. He had a gift for Boo, and presented him with a bible. The services were as wild as before and when it was over they were spent, but satisfied. Again the ladies met for their $4.95 lunch at the Afro-diner, and by the time they got home, they both picked up their work and watched TV until it was time to turn in. After the second night of shooting in the streets, Boo found that they didn't even wake him up anymore. Boo was being kept so busy that he had no time to reminisce about his old llife. How was his (ex)wife doing, and the kids? His mind was being kept busy every minute of every day, and had no time to think about what was. When he saw himself in the mirror he saw a black woman named Beulah. By the end of the second month Kat told him that he was to stay in training for an additional two weeks and that it was cleared with Mrs.Polk. Boo made arrangements with Kat so that he could come and sleep over on his week-ends off. Kat charged him $50.00 a week, which was a lot since he was only going to earn $200.00 per week from Mrs. Polk for a full weeks work But where can you go for $25.00 a night? Besides, he became fond of Kat, and hoped that she felt the same towards him. Kat never saw Boo as anything but female, so had no trouble in not thinking otherwise. Going Home It was now mid-summer and Kat notified Maggie that Beuhlah was ready to start her new job. The first Monday in July was the date set. Boo was to arrive at 8AM and had to get up at 4 AM to get ready, and because he was not sure how long it would take public transportation to get there. He had purchased a cardboard suitcase at Good Will for $3.00 and the night before he packed what he thought would be necessary to stay the week. He had his cornrows re-done the previous week. Not only did his hair need washing, but the hair grew and loosened the tightness of the 'do'. Even with giving him extra time, he found that he was walking up to the house, suitcase in hane, 20 minutes late. He started to walk up to the front door, and then remembered his instructions and went around to the back, and rang the bell. He waited for a couple of minutes, and no-one came to the door, so he rang the bell again. Just a few seconds later the door opened and there was Maggie. When she saw this person, the color of chocolate, hair in cornrows, puffy lips, flat nose,and a huge bosom where his dress showed the valleys of his breasts. The hormones have started to take effect and with the high-fat diet he gained 11 pounds. His skin was hairless and smooth, His face became rounder and softer. His voice, while still deep,making the change in speech patterns made it seem to fit the person using it. Maggie had been nervous about this meeting, not knowing what to expect was completely taken by surprise. She involuntary gasped bringing a hand to her mouth. She quickly recovered and invited Beulah to come inside. "It's so good to finally meet you," Maggie said. "Thank you, ma'am." She opened the door wider and gestured and Beulah entered the kitchen. Maggie said, "I didn't know what to expect, and I have been tense about this moment." "Yas'm" "Can you make the coffee? I will be right back." "Thank you, ma'am. I can do it." It took Boo a few minutes to find the coffee canister and prepared a fresh pot of coffee. He found the cups,saucers and spoons and set one place setting on the kitchen table. In a few minutes Margaret returned with some papers in her hand. She found Beulah quietly sitting at the kitchen table, his hands folded in his lap. Before the meeting, Maggie steeled herself and wanted to act aloof toward this person who she felt wronged her. But seeing this pitiful woman, a woman that had absolutely no resemblance to the man that was once her husband, her heart melted. And regret about what she did to him entered her mind. A doctorate in History, a college professor, making a lot of money, honored in his community, now sitting at the table looking exactly as what he had become. A fat black woman, not even literate! When she entered the kitchen, Beulah got up and got the coffee pot and poured his lady some coffee. "Where's your cup?" "I didn't know you wanted me to have coffee, too." "Oh, yes. Before you start, we have to go over some things." "Yes'm" Beaulah went to the cupboard and poured himself a cup of coffee and brought it to the table. "Tell me," she said, "how's it going?" "Ma'am. The rules are we are not s'possed to talk about personal." "I made the rules, and I can break them," Margaret lashed out at him. She saw that she made him cringe and was instantly sorry about her outburst.. "I'm sorry, Beulah. I guess I am tenser about this first meeting than I thought. I had no right to holler at you." "Yas'm" "So how are things going?" , she persisted. "Ma'am?" "I want to know how you are handling this situation." "Ma'am, it is certainly different what I fantasized. I din't 'spect to be a fat black lady. I din't 'spect to be living in the ghetto. It has problems." "Tell me." So Beulah told about the nightly gunfire in the streets. The lack of conveniences like an automobile, or cable TV, or air conditioning. He told her of the filth and garbage that the city never seems to collect. The cockroaches in the halls. And now that it is summer, the broken screens that let in the flies and mosquitoes. And the heat. The brick tenements absorb the sun's heat during the day and when the sun goes down the bulldings give back the heat that they were storing during the day. This is why entire buildings have the tenants sitting on the stoops until the early morning hours, waiting until the apartment gets cool enough for them to be able to sleep. And finally he told her of his fear of being killed. The gangs control the streets. They do what they want, and sexual attacks on women is common, and the police don't seem to be able to do anything about it. He told her he feared that if he was attacked and they saw that he not only had a penis, but that it was locked in a cage, he would be beaten and killed. He told about the humiliation of having to milk himself monthly. He also told about some of the wonderful people he met. He talked about the church, and their acceptance of the new lady. How they have enjoyment that is more intense than white folks do. And then he stopped talking. "My God, I didn't know." "Whites don't know anythin' that goes on down there." "Do you still have it on?" "Ma'am?" "You know. The thing it is locked up in. Do you still have it on? "Yas'm" "Let me see it." "Ma'am?" "I said I want to see it. It is nothing that I haven't seen before, you know." "Yes, ma'am." With that he got up from the chair, lifted the skirt of his dress and pulled down his cotton panties. And exposed the locked penis to his employer. Maggie walked up to Beulah, and took the plastic in her hand. She then felt the two plastic balls that held the chastity ring in place. "I'm sorry," she said. "I was terribly hurt, but I shouldn't have done this to you." "I have accepted it, ma'am." "Does it get hard?" she asked. "No ma'am. It has come that I don't even realize it's there most of the time. Without, you know, my nuts, I don't have any urges of any kind no more." "Are you attracted to boys?" "No ma'am. Not boys, not anything. The hardest thing is to milk myself every month." Maggie let go of his penus and Beulah put his panties back in place, dropped his skirt and sat down at the table, facing her. "Well, let's get down to business. This is an employment contract. My lawyers tell me that anything in excess of one year that the contract may not be legal, so it is for one year from today. However, you have my word, that you will have at least ten years of employment. My youngest, a girl, is three and I will probably need someone to look after her at least until she is thirteen, maybe longer. She did not say the obvious, and that is, what happens to Beulah after that? You will work from Monday through Friday. I may need you one Saturday or Sunday each month to help with any gatherings or party I might have. I will pay you extra for your time. If you are not needed on the weekend, then you must leave Friday night after you have cleaned up after dinner. "Yas'm." Maggie continued. "You will get room and board, and $200.00 per week. I know that sum is low by today's standards, but right now that is all I can afford. You may eat whatever you prepared for the family, but you will eat it in the kitchen after the family has been served. After dinner, you will check with me to see if I need you for anything else, and if not, you are free to spend the rest of your time in your room or in the kitchen. You may not join the family during our recreation. Is that understood?" "Yes ma'am." "The job shouldn't be too difficult, except for the mess my children make. Children will be children you know". Boo nodded his head in agreement. "Right now the kids are in summer day camp and they will both be home by three P.M. They know that a new maid is coming and they are anxious to meet you. You didn't read the documents the last time, but maybe you should read them now." "No ma'am. Nothin' mo' gonna happen to me that hasn't already." "One final thing. From this moment on, never, and I mean never, because if you do I will fire you on the spot, discuss your previous life in this house with me or my children. Any communication you might want to make, such as your cash balance, mail it to me, and I will mail an answer back to you. Do you understand?" "Yes, ma'am." With that, Maggie passed the paper to him with a pen, and he picked it up and signed it. She took it back and left the room. She shortly returned without it in her hand. "Well, let's get started, I will show you to your room." She walked to the rear hall, and stopped at a small room about ten by twelve feet in area. It used to be used by Maggie as a house plant room. It had one window facing the rear yard, and drapes that could be drawn to keep out the sunlight. There was a single bed and pillow in it. On it was some bed linens for the bed to be made up. There was a dresser that while in decent condition, did not match the bed. A small TV and clock radio. And a phone. Beulah put the suitcase and opened it and began to take out his clothes and put them away. "By the way, Beulah, the phone has am intercom. When you see the red light on, pick up the phone and I will tell you what I want. You may not use the phone for outside calls without my permission. Also, the bath down the hall is for your use. You may not use any of the other bathrooms in the house." "Yes ma'am." As he was putting his clothes and personal items away, Maggie became aware that Kat had cheated her. She sent in requests for payment for clothes that were new and purchased in regular retail establishments. And the shoddy stuff that Beulah had did not match that. There was only cotton. Cotton panties, bras, skirts. No stockings except in brown cotton. No nylon hose. Nothing really to make a girl feel feminine. Maggie did not realize that some blacks find that cheating whites is not a crime, but a sport. "This will not do," Maggie thought to herself. "What size are you, Beulah?" "Don't rightly know, ma'am. Different stuff has different sizes. I try them on, if they fits, I take it." "When you are finished unpacking, wait here, I will be back shortly." It didn't take but five minutes more to unpack and he put the empty suitcase on the floor. He sat on the bed, and waited as he was bid. It was almost an hour before Maggie returned. In her hand was a number of printouts. "I know I told you that a uniform would not be necessary," she said as she entered his bedroom, but the clothes you brought with you are not acceptable. I went on-line and printed out some nice uniforms for you to wear. Also some shoes and stockings. I really don't want you to be a formal maid, well, maybe when I have company, but I also want you to be dressed nice. Let me measure you to determine what size you are, and let's look at some of the stuff I printed out. Then we can order it. Since it is a uniform and not your own clothes, I will pay for them myself." "Thank you, ma'am.' She measured him and while doing so, she was amazed at Beulah's huge breasts and the valley they made. She went to her computer and ordered everything that was necessary, and paid extra for next day delivery. Along with the uniforms, she ordered two new pairs of shoes with a two inch heel, one in white, one in black. He was not aware, but Maggie ordered a few skirts and blouses, a raincoat with a lining, panties. She ordered three bras, suspecting that the ones he had were not the correct size. Nightgowns in nylon instead of cotton. Black lisle hose to go with the serving uniforms, but regular nylon thigh-highs for everyday wear. In other words a complete wardrobe. She really began to feel sorry for this pitiful human being that she destroyed, and vowed to pay for the new wardrobe herself. When she returned she found Beaulah waiting patiently sitting on the edge of the bed with his hands folded in his lap. "Let's go, Beulah, I will show you the rest of the house." With that she left the room and Beulah followed her to the staircase and they went upstairs. Maggie showed him the master bedroom, ignoring that he spend many years there, he was Beulah now. She wanted her sheets changed twice each week. Mondays and Fridays. The kids bedrooms, once a week, unless one of them had an accident, which could happen. The toilets must be disinfected and washed every other day. The vacuuming once a week, the day was left up to Beulah. The kitchen floor must be hand washed at least once a week, and more if it gets dirty. "I forgot to ask, Beulah, can you cook?" Yes ma'am. I can make most anything you want." "And I understand that you can sew?" "Yes ma'am. I can repair a tear by hand, but I am also good on the machine." "That's good to know." With that the front door bell began to ring. And ring again, and once again. It was the kids returning from day camp. They went downstairs to open the door and both kids ran into the house. And stopped when they saw Beulah standing with their mother in the foyer. "Is this the new maid?, Mark asked his mother. "Dears, I want to introduce you to Beulah. She will be staying with us, and helping mommy keep house." The boy solemnly held out his hand to shake and Beulah took his hand in his and shook it. He hadn't seen his children in over three months. Truth is, he hadn't had time to even think about them. They have grown a lot in such a short time. Cindy, never saw a black person before and was fascinated by Beulah. She held on to her mother's skirt and pretended to be shy. Beulah knelt down to her side, and softly said, " I hope we can be friends, Cindy." With that, Cindy left her mother's side and rushed to Beulah and gave him a big hug. Maggie smiled. It was going to work out. Cindy insisted on showing Beulah her room and her dolls, with Maggie in the background, watching her daughter bond with Beulah. After fifteen minutes, Maggie said, " It is time to leave Beulah alone now. You will have plenty of time with her later on. She will be staying with us all day now." "Ma'am, it's getting close to four o'clock. What would you like for dinner?" "It's been a hectic day, I think I will order in. Pizza sound O.K. with you?" "Yes, ma'am. I haven't had pizza in awhile." Maggie ordered the pizza and when it came, Maggie insisted that Beulah join them in the kitchen to share the meal. After Beulah cleaned up the mess and threw the garbage into the garbage bin. he asked Maggie, "What time would you like breakfast, and what would you like, ma'am?" "The kids have to be fed and ready when the camp bus picks them up at 8AM. They will have juice. Can you make pancakes?" "Yes ma'am." "Mark can get dressed by himself. You just have to wake him up. Cindy needs to be wakened and dressed. If I put the clothes she is to wear tomorrow in her room do you think you can handle it?" "Yes'm. And what would you like for breakfast, ma'am?" "Juice, coffee and a bagel. The bagels are in the freezer." "Yes ma'am. Thank you ma'am" "Do you have to keep on calling me 'ma'am?' "I think it proper, ma'am." With that, Maggie shrugged her shoulders, told him she was going to bed and left the room. Beulah has been up since 4 A.M. and it was a stressful day. So although it was only 8:30 he went to his room, set the alarm clock, changed into a nightgown, brushed his teeth, and took out the bible that Kat had packed for him. Laying in bed, Beulah realized how quiet it was. Too quiet. No ambulance, police or fire sirens. No gun shots, no screaming neighbors having an argument that went through the thin walls. It would take getting used to the quietness of the suburbs. He tried to read the bible, but his eyelids began to close, he turned off the light, turned over and was asleep in seconds. He was wakened by the alarm ringing at 6 AM. It took him a half hour to get dressed and ready. He went to the kitchen, started the coffee and the batter for the pancakes. At 7 he knocked on Mark's bedroom door until Mark answered, and Beulah told him to get up, dressed and come down to breakfast. He then went into Cindy's room, gently wakened her. When she saw him she smiled and put out her arms to get a hug, which was done with joy by Beulah. He got her dressed and by 7:30 both kids are in the kitchen eating their breakfast. They were crazy about the way Beulah's pancakes tasted. It was not long after that the camp bus horn blew outside, and the kids ran to the bus while Beulah stood at the door to see that they got on it safely. He then had some orange juice. He hadn't had any in over three months and the first couple of sips were strange tasting. He then found some corn flakes in the pantry and had that with milk. He found himself thinking that he missed his grits for breakfast. He was sitting at the kitchen table when Maggie walked in, and said good morning to him. Beulah jumped out of his chair and got the coffee pot to pour Maggie a cup. He served her juice, and stood while she finished it. He already had the bagel in the toaster, and asked what she would like to put on the bagel. She told him that there should be some cream cheese in the fridge. He went there, found it, and put a serving of cheese a plate and with the appropriate silverware served his lady. "I think I can quickly get used to this pampering, Beulah." "Yes, ma'am." While she was eating breakfast she told him to be ready at ten as they were going to the Motor Vehicle Department to get him his license. Beulah suggested that since he hasn't driven a car in over three months, could he test drive her car before hand, because he was sure a driving test would be given. Maggie thought that was a good idea. She had gotten rid of the two Lexus cars that they had, and she purchased a Chevrolet Impala sedan, and had over $20,000.00 left over from the transaction. Beulah did not have any trouble remembering how to drive. Maggie took with her copies of his new birth certificate and social security number, as well as the insurance card and auto registration. When they got to the department they had to wait 45 minutes until their number was called, but when it was, everything went smoothly. He passed the drivers test, had a new picture taken and was handed new drivers license. Nobody at the department made mention of the fact that while what looked like a black female on the picture, male was designated on the license. In their business, they probably didn't even notice. He put the license in his wallet, and the wallet in his purse, and Maggie then drove them home. This took longer than expected and it was 12:30 by the time they got home. Beulah found some canned soup and made some ham sandwiches. He set her place in the dining room and she sat there and was served by Beulah. When she was finished, Beulah cleaned the dining room table of the dirty dishes, and then ate his lunch by himself in the kitchen. Maggie made no comment. Maggie then gave Beulah a list of what she would like for dinner, and told him where the grocery was located, and gave him $20.00 cash with which to shop. She told him to drive carefully. He had no trouble driving, it came back quickly. He found the store, shopped, returned home and put the groceries away until later. He was told that the family prefers to eat no later than 6 P.M. Beulah ma'am-ed his understanding. Maggie left to the computer room and Beulah, got his pail, soap and rags and proceeded to disinfect and wash the family toilets. He worked around the house doing this and that until five, when he went to the kitchen to prepare dinner. It was a busy day. The kids came in at three. Cindy hung around Beulah while he worked in the kitchen and Mark went to his room to play computer games. Beulah didn't see Maggie all afternoon. At 5:15 the phone in the kitchen began to buzz, and the intercom light was on. He answered,