My Wonderful Obsession 34 free porn video

My Wonderful Obsession Part 34: A Night to Remember You're probably thinking, 'Alexandra Johnson, you silly girl - when are you going to grow up and realize you don't have to chase after every good- looking guy who comes along? Men like Rob are a total dead end for you! Just get things sorted out between you and Mark, for Pete's sake!' Now that I'm past thirty I get all that, believe me! I really WAS stupid, wasn't I? But like I told you, I had my reasons ... or maybe excuses, like the one Dr. Westerman gave me about the lack of a father figure in my life. I really DID want to get back with Mark, most of the time ... but on that particular Saturday evening, all that mattered to me was going out on a romantic date with the handsomest man in the whole world - Rob Hewitt. The fact that he was attracted to ME - a not-quite-eighteen-year-old boy who really only looked like a girl - was too amazing and thrilling for words. Well okay, to be fair to Rob he didn't have any gay tendencies at all. He never doubted for a second that I was exactly what I appeared to be: a pretty, twenty-something girl ... and that day I'd make double-and-triple sure I looked every inch the part. I was going all-out to knock him dead! Why? Well, let's just say I wanted badly to find out how much wow-power I possessed, to attract a man who had no clue I wasn't anything but who I appeared to be. THAT would tell me, maybe more so than any of my other experiences en femme, whether I had the chops to make it as a woman in the real world. Especially if it came to spending the rest of my life as the 'trophy wife' of a normal, red-blooded heterosexual male! So I played the femme role to the hilt that night. My co-workers had already tipped off Rob that Sandra was a 'princess,' so I conducted myself accordingly. I only called him 'Robert,' and I made sure he opened every door for me, held my coat for me, ordered for me, and stood until I was seated and rose whenever I did. I even let him pay for everything. That last item might have been a mistake, in retrospect - he probably thought I'd be willing to repay him some 'other' way, if the evening's developments are anything to go by. But I'm getting ahead of myself, aren't I? You already know Rob was taking me to a seafood restaurant, and as we were being led to our table the thought struck me that he must have picked the priciest one in the entire state. Our table was set with white linens and real silver and china, and the table center was a floral arrangement with three red candles of differing heights in the middle - a good start for someone who was looking forward to being romanced. But that wasn't the end of it - Rob expertly ordered a bottle of white California wine, which got tastier with every sip, and for appetizers we shared seared rare Ahi tuna and scallops (yes, scallops - to think I'd bugged Kath for letting Ben feed her an aphrodisiac - now it was MY turn!). I figured I'd passed my first test when the waiter didn't ask to see my I.D. For the main course we had Maine lobster - a first for me! Now, I'm not the biggest fan of shellfish but that night I sure had no trouble pretending I was. And we had the most wonderful conversations about all kinds of things. Actually, like before I preferred to let him do most of the talking. I loved how he said things in that cool accent of his, and how when he smiled his blue eyes always sparkled, and how he seemed to work a compliment into just about every sentence. Oh yeah -- and how crazy-good- looking he was! I found out a lot more about this amazing guy - like, he had two sisters (who must have taught him how to treat girls) and his folks still lived outside Boston where he grew up. He had a law degree from an ivy-league school, but didn't know if he'd ever use it. Skiing was his all-time passion (no surprise there) and he got his start at age four. When I asked him what he did for fun in the summer, he told me he mostly traveled and did some rock climbing here and there. But no work - that was just for the winter months. From all this I gathered his family had money and he could afford to live the good life. I found myself thinking of Rob as the quintessential 'good catch' - a handsome prince for me, the princess! One thing Rob and Mark had in common was how they would pay attention to you and no one else, like you were the only girl in the whole world. I recalled one of my co-workers complaining that her boyfriend's eyes wandered all over the room when she was out with him, especially whenever a hot chick walked by. Not either of my guys, thankfully! Pamela Anderson could be seated at the next table and you'd swear they never noticed, they'd be so fixated on you. I positively loved that - talk about the princess treatment! Of course, it might have had something to do with how I chose to dress myself - Mark had told me a dozen times how pretty I looked in my white eyelet dress, and I guess you could say on this particular date I was wearing my white 'eyeful' dress - meaning Rob had a great view of my wonderful new cleavage, thanks to the low-cut bodice and that sexy push-up bra! Okay, so hormones might have had something to do with it too ... whatever it takes, right? Anyway, remember how I said I needed to be super-careful around Rob? Well, either I completely forgot about that, or his charms were too much for my defenses, or it was the scallops, or the wine had put me into the 'mood' ... but being there with him in that romantic setting, talking about ourselves and our lives, our hopes and our dreams, and being enveloped in that wonderful feeling of being the most special girl in the whole world ... well, how would YOU react? Like me, I'm sure - you'd feel like you were falling in love with him. So when he reached his hand across the table and took mine in it, I gave him a little squeeze and smiled as though to say, 'I was wondering if you were EVER going to get around to that!' Dessert was the most special and romantic part of the whole meal. Not just because the cr?me brulee was the best I ever tasted, and not only 'cause the Irish coffee was devilishly delicious, but mainly because Rob had moved his chair closer to mine so he could spoon a little dessert into my mouth and kiss me after each sample. You can bet I was looking forward to every taste! I have no idea how long we spent at the restaurant, but when Rob announced it was time to leave I felt like we'd barely just got there. After he paid the check he helped me up and held my hand as we walked back to the coat check. I remember I was feeling decidedly tipsy from the wine and the Irish coffee, so with my purse tucked under one arm I held on tight to his arm with my free hand, feeling very thankful for the support. Just then we passed a young-ish woman with a familiar face, a little on the plump side, though at that precise moment I couldn't place her. She looked at me, then Rob, for a second or two and kept going. It wasn't until we were at Rob's SUV that I realized who it was - Mark's sister Marci! I fervently hoped she hadn't recognized me, and by the way she just passed by without saying anything, I concluded she didn't. Soon we were driving downtown to the club Rob had found, and if I'd thought it wouldn't be as classy as the place we just left, I was mistaken. It was what Rob referred to as a "proper dance club, catering to a more 'mature' clientele." I was thankful I'd taken the time to redo my lipstick on the way there, because when we were greeted by the doorman, the coat check woman, and the server at our table, nobody asked to see my I.D. That chic dress and Mom's grown-up-looking jacket didn't hurt either. Rob ordered us some champagne as I checked out the huge room. It was kind of round, with a large hardwood dance floor surrounded by tables and chairs, and there was an eight-piece orchestra on a raised platform off to one side. Beautiful chandeliers and wall sconces illuminated the table areas, while colored spotlights and floodlights lit the band and dance floor. A large mirror ball was suspended above the center of the floor. The place appeared to be full - at least a couple hundred patrons, every one of them more than twice my age. "I didn't think you'd mind coming to a place like this," said Rob matter- of-factly. "I knew we'd be the youngest ones here, but I love ballroom dancing and I was sure you would too, the way you move your body." I was still quite apprehensive though - like I said, I'd never danced with a guy before, only girls. And that night I was expected to dance like a real woman, with a male partner, letting the man do all the leading. Was I EVER glad I'd got back into dance classes with Kath. Because earlier that winter we'd learned traditional ballroom dances, even though it was a modern dance class and there were no men in it! But we hadn't spent much time practicing, just enough to get the hang of them, and we all had to dance both the male and the female parts. Soon Rob was leading me to the dance floor. I made myself remember which of his hands I was supposed to take, which ended up being no problem since that was the hand I was already holding. Dancing with Rob felt pretty awkward at first, but after a minute or two of his leading I began to relax a bit and just enjoy the moment. It still felt strange, though - the whole experience reminded me so much of dancing like this with Julia, except with her in the dress and me in the suit! As enjoyable as that was, I thought, this way around was a LOT nicer! It felt so amazing to have his arm around my waist, holding me close ... and I got a nice kiss every time our faces were close. When we weren't smooching he kept up a steady stream of compliments about my face, my hair, my eyes, my fragrance, and of course my dress and shoes. Just the thing an appearance-obsessed girl would thrive on! And as expected, he only seemed to be looking at me. I couldn't say that, though - I found myself constantly checking out what the other women were wearing, and I couldn't help noticing how many other men didn't have Rob's qualities. Or maybe they were just surprised to see a young woman like me there, and that's why they couldn't help staring. Whatever it was, I didn't really mind but I'm sure their partners did! When the orchestra took a break I retrieved my clutch purse and excused myself, heading straight for the ladies' room. I hadn't gone since home! While I was fixing my face a few of those women said hello and asked me if I was enjoying myself, or told me I had a very handsome husband (or boyfriend). I was as gracious as I could be in my replies, of course. Two ladies complimented me on my dress and my red shoes, and I smiled and replied "Thanks so much!" Did I ever feel thankful I had the right body for that dress! Only a very few women I saw there would've been able to fit it like me, though - and that realization made me promise myself I'd do whatever it took to keep my figure as I got older. I'm sure we danced just about every number that evening, and with Rob's expert leading I got better and better as midnight came and went. Most of the dances were standard ballroom fare like the foxtrot, the waltz and the jive (which Rob was especially good at), so we weren't dancing really close all that often. But whenever we were, I felt the firm bulge between his legs pressing into my abdomen and I'd feel both apprehensive and thrilled. 'Just don't let him talk you into going to his hotel room,' I kept reminding myself. Around one a.m. the orchestra leader thanked his audience and they played one last number before winding it up for the evening. It was a slow dance, and by then I'd shed Kath's red pumps in favor of dancing in my stocking feet, which had had enough of those shoes for one night. Rob held me extra-close and our lips were together more than they were apart. I was quite tipsy from all the wine and champagne by then, and that evening I discovered something important about myself - namely that I got very amorous when I had alcohol in me! Soon Rob was putting my shoes back on for me and helping me into my coat, and he supported me with an arm around my waist as we left the club. It was quite cold outside, so while we were waiting for the valet to retrieve Rob's vehicle I snuggled closer, sliding both my hands under the front of his jacket while he wrapped his arms around my back. And I helped myself to a nice, long romantic kiss! "I had SUCH a good time tonight, Robert," I said sincerely, if a little slurred. "I'm going to miss you so much. Do you really have to leave?" I know, I probably shouldn't have said that, but he just smiled at me in reply. Soon the valet was holding my door while Rob helped me get settled into the passenger seat. I almost forgot to keep my legs together like a lady as I swung them into the car! Rob then fastened by seat belt for me, which I appreciated 'cause I probably couldn't have done it myself without breaking a nail. "I'm going to miss you too," he finally responded after he got himself buckled in. "Do you work tomorrow?" "No, I usually don't work Sundays," I replied without stopping to wonder why he cared. "That's good, because I'm not ready to say goodbye either. Let's go back to my hotel for a while." I know, I know - I did say it wouldn't be a big deal to tell him no, and to just take me home. And I'd been reminding myself all night not to get talked into it. But you weren't there! If you could have seen how incredible-looking he was that night, and felt how his deep blue eyes burned right through into your soul, and how indescribably special he made you feel with every single word he spoke, I guarantee you wouldn't have done a single thing differently than I did. Or maybe you would have done one thing differently, if unlike me you were a real woman. Whatever - I'll just blame it all on the wine and champagne. "Well ... uh ... I guess that'd be all right .. just for a little while," I agreed, my defenses at an all- time low. Rob kept talking while we drove, but I don't remember much of what he said because my alcohol-fogged mind was busy trying to devise strategies to make sure he wouldn't discover my secret. As we walked hand-in-hand through the lobby towards the elevator, the man at the front desk addressed Rob with a "Good evening, Sir". All I got was a crooked smile. 'He thinks I'm a hooker,' I guessed - and strangely the notion didn't bother me at all! Now I half-expected Rob's room to look cluttered and messy like Phil always left his, but no, it was immaculate - not a single item of clothing in view, and his suitcase was even put away. I wondered whether he'd prepared the room especially for my visit. Probably did, I thought. And it was a nice room, too - king-sized bed with a fluffy white duvet and tons of pillows, and a great view of the city lights from the huge top-floor window. "Let me take your shoes off for you, dahling," he smiled, sitting me on the bed. "I put your poor feet through a lot tonight." "Yes, you've been very mean to them," I half-kidded as I offered him one foot at a time. He was right, though - I'd never spent so much time in heels and all that dancing sure didn't help the discomfort level. Rob gave each one a very welcome massage, telling me how pretty he thought they were, and then he sat next to me and leaned over to kiss me. I let him have just one short kiss, then got up and walked unsteadily to the window. "You have a nice view," I said weakly. "I'll say," he responded. I turned around and noticed he was checking ME out, not the city lights. He rose from the bed and came up behind me. "The nicest view in the whole world," he added as he wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me close. A second later I felt his lips and his warm breath on my neck, just below my ear. My head automatically leaned the other way and I felt millions of tingles run up and down my spine ... and for a brief moment there was a stirring inside my gaff! 'No, not you, not now!' I silently cursed, and I think that made it go away, but sadly the tingles did too. Rob kept kissing my neck, and then my shoulders, and I realized one of my hands was running through his thick hair and the other was over top of his hand as it caressed my stomach through the material of my dress. Before I knew it my head was leaning back and he was kissing the front of my neck, then all over the bare skin above my breasts. My heart began thumping loudly as his lips came closer and closer to those soft mounds of flesh, then all of a sudden he was kissing around my cleavage and the exposed skin of my breasts. I can't begin to describe how incredibly delicious that felt! To have my very own breasts, and be able to show them off with a super-sexy demi-bra, and have a hunky man planting kisses on them - what could be better? Well, I was about to find out. But before that, I managed to slide Rob's suit jacket off his shoulders and arms so I could put my hands on his shoulders and chest. We were now standing face-to-face, locked in a passionate embrace, and I was on the receiving end of the most wonderful, delicious French kiss I could ever have imagined. Time seemed to stand still, so I have no idea how long that kiss went on, but at some point I came to realize that Rob had a massive hard-on! And that pleased me more than I thought possible, even though it should have scared the living daylights out of me. Before I knew it he'd maneuvered me towards the bed and all of a sudden we were lying on the soft duvet, still kissing up a storm but also exploring each other's upper bodies with our hands. Every time one of his hands found one of my boobs I felt major spasm of tingles go all through me! You might have expected it to be Rob, but no ... it was actually I who took it to the next level. All I did was loosen his tie and unbutton his shirt, so I could feel his bare chest with my hands, but I guess he took it as a signal that it was okay to do the same with me. He managed somehow to undo the little hook at the top of my dress and unzip me a bit, then I cooperated by moving an arm so he could slip one of the straps off my shoulder. In a moment I felt his warm hand cupping one of my breasts through the thin material of my bra and I said a silent prayer of thanks for Dr. Cooper and the progestin she was giving me! What an incredible experience! But I was ready for more - and I knew Rob certainly was - so I wiggled my shoulders and moaned and thrust my boobs out so he'd take the hint, and he obliged by unzipping me another few inches, sliding off the other shoulder strap and peeling the bodice of my dress down, while I pulled his tie over his head and helped him out of his shirt. Now all that was between us was my cute little lacy bra! Rob rose slightly from the bed for a better view, and in a loud whisper said, "You are absolutely gorgeous." "So are you," I replied - and let me tell you, was he ever! Rob's chest and shoulders were every bit as well-proportioned as his face, and he had that classic 'six-pack' going for him too. His chest had just the right amount of dark curly 'fur' on it. Like, what a masculine guy! And the thing I loved best was how incredibly feminine that made me feel. Now I could totally get why girls go for the well-built, buff male, and why they'd want to be at their most attractive for him. But the view didn't last more than a few seconds, 'cause Rob was back on me, smothering my neck, shoulders and cleavage with kisses and caressing my boobs through the fabric of the bra. Now maybe I was still under the influence, but strangely I still didn't feel too concerned about where all this was heading. 'Is he going to take off my bra?' was my only thought - or wish. I got my answer soon enough. Rather than just slipping the cups up and out of the way, he reached around my back and unhooked me, and seconds later my bra was on the carpet and Rob was taking in the new unobstructed view! There was a twinge of panic as for a brief moment I felt naked, and worried my boobs might not 'measure up' to his standards, but when both of his hands began softly caressing them, causing another massive wave of tingles to go through my entire body, I instantly forgot my fears and just let him do what he obviously knew best. "Mmmm ... darling, that feels SO wonderful," I purred. "That's the idea, dahling" he said, "I want you to feel wonderful." There was more sincerity in his voice than I was accustomed to hearing. What flashed through my mind at that instant was something his old girlfriend Katie told me back in Vermont - how did she put it? That Rob was so giving of himself? Oh yeah - that he took the time to make sure you had great orgasms. Well, as much as I'd do anything to have even one little tiny orgasm with Rob, that wasn't the least bit likely to happen to me, I figured. Maybe that's why I just lay back and let Rob have his way with my breasts - and he didn't disappoint! His expert caresses were far and away more pleasurable than anything I remembered with Mark, and if I'd been lucky enough to be a real female I'm pretty sure that alone would've been enough for me to come right then and there. But Rob had more in store for me. With our eyes still locked on each other's, he lowered his head to one of my boobs until his lips were almost touching the nipple. I could feel his warm breath, and the anticipation almost drove me crazy. I could see that nipple standing full and erect, trying to close the short distance. It was probably me that did that. Or maybe it was Rob. But I'm SO glad I didn't have to wait forever for him to take me in his mouth. First his lips lightly touched my nipple and I let out a very loud moan. Then he started kissing it softly and I felt my back arch as more and more waves of tingles shot through my upper body. And then, finally, his open mouth was upon me, and his tongue was circling my nipple, and my moans turned into cries of absolute pleasure! Until that moment I had NO idea my breasts were capable of causing those unbelievable sensations. But Rob had only gotten started! His circling tongue increased its wanderings as he took more and more of me into his mouth. Honest - I didn't think men could have a mouth big enough to take a girl's entire B- or-C-sized breast, but Rob proved me wrong that night. And I couldn't have been more thrilled! Unless you've experienced it yourself, you have NO IDEA how amazing it feels! And how you want it to just go on and on for- absolute-ever! Now Rob DID spend a lot of time concentrating on my boobs, but even I wasn't naive enough to think that would satisfy him. Soon he was putting his hands in other places, like on my ass and my thighs, which finally began to ring the alarm bells in my brain. 'What if he feels the straps of my gaff?' I wondered. Maybe he'd assume it was a thong. But what if he didn't? He had experience with women! 'And what if his hand goes too far up my leg?' A feeling of panic began to set in. But by then, luckily, my brain was starting to think more clearly and I remembered the 'offense is the best defense' strategy I'd worked out on the way to the hotel. What can I say - I was a guy, right? And guys know what other guys want - or more accurately, what their needs are -- don't they? So, while Rob's hands were exploring the curviest, most feminine parts of my body, mine went after the hardest, most masculine parts of his. I know, that's not exactly what a 'lady' would do, and certainly not a 'princess,' but it's what THIS princess needed to do to protect her 'honor.' I hoped Rob wouldn't be too put off by his new girl asserting herself like that! I don't really think he was. At first he probably figured I was only interested in feeling up his six-pack, but as my hands circled ever lower to his waist, he rolled over slightly to make it a bit easier for me to undo his pants. Which I accomplished in record time because one of his hands was now all the way up the back of my dress, his fingers feeling their way into my lace panties, and the other was like three inches from my crotch! I beat him to the punch by tugging his boxers down and wrapping my hand around his now-freed cock - which elicited a major gasp from Rob's mouth and a noticeable stiffening of his entire body. 'Gotcha!' I giggled to myself, and I didn't waste a second letting my hand start moving up and down. 'My God, he's so beautiful,' I mused as I feasted my eyes on the sight of his manhood. Rob was helpless, and his roaming hands ceased their movements although the one on my ass just held on good and tight. "You don't need to do that ..." he protested, but I simply replied with a passionate wet kiss, still pumping him slowly. When I came up for air I whispered into his ear, "But I want to, darling ... I'm sorry -- you can't come in me tonight. I have a ... a little problem right now ..." "I don't ... mind," Rob protested again, although I'm not sure exactly what it was he didn't mind. "Well I do, darling," I said softly. "I need this to be perfect ... and it can't be like that tonight. I'm sorry ..." "I still love you," he said between gasps. Oddly, it didn't occur to me till later that he'd never said anything like that to me in the first place. But that made me feel more confident I was doing the right thing for him. "And I still love you," I breathed in the sexiest voice I could conjure up, and I'm sure I really meant it. Those words must have got him even more excited, because now his breath was coming in short gasps ... which told me he was really close! So I shifted position a bit to lay my head on his stomach, facing all the 'action,' and even though my 'offensive plan' never included what happened next, I let my face be drawn closer and closer to his penis. Was it because I could detect his wonderful masculine smell mixed with his cologne (which he must have applied around that area), or was it simply because I wanted to give him the greatest amount of pleasure I could to make up for what he wouldn't be able to receive from me? Whatever - my lips closed lightly over his soft tip and my tongue made little circles around it ... and in response Rob's back arched and his cock stiffened even more, driving the tip right into my mouth! I responded by clamping my lips and tongue firmly around his huge organ and sliding them up and down its shaft, with my hand still doing its own important job near the base. I tried my best to control how fast I went, but Rob - he was moving his pelvis faster and faster. At that moment I knew this wouldn't last much longer! "OH MY GOD," Rob called out, and my hand and mouth simultaneously felt his cock pulsating wildly. I helped him along by speeding up my hand while hanging on for dear life with my lips, and then, at the exact same instant he yelled "Aaaahhhh" and a wash of hot tangy liquid erupted into my mouth. "OH MY GOD," he said again, this time sounding completely out of breath and energy, and his body went totally limp. But not his cock - it stayed fully erect, as I knew from my own experience it would, and I played the innocent girl who knows nothing at all about men's orgasms by continuing to suck and lick at his super-sensitive tip. Of course, that drove him insane and it was such fun to make him squirm! "For God's sake, Sandra, please stop!" he begged. "But you're my lollipop and I love sucking you," I giggled. "Don't be mean to me, Robert." "You're being mean to ME," he croaked. "That's my prerogative," I corrected him. "I'm the princess - did you forget? I get to treat you any way I want." Then I went back to sucking and licking him, just to prove my point. "Uh, don't get me - aaahhh -- wrong ... I love how you treat me, I really do ... but - aaahhh - that's really sensitive right now ... you have no idea!" "But it's so yummy! You have to let me finish my lollipop, Robert!" "DO you really - aaahhh - have to? Why don't you - aaahhh - let me do something nice for you instead?" "You already did, you silly man ... you made me feel like a woman tonight." I can't believe I said something that truthful, but thankfully he seemed to interpret it the right way. "You ARE a woman, Sandra ... a beautiful woman. You didn't - aaahhh - need me to make you feel that way." "Yes I did, Robert," I said sincerely, finally breaking away from his penis but leaving my hand there to protect my new 'property.' Good thing I didn't feel the need to elaborate, and good thing he didn't ask me to. "Uh ... I think I need to visit your bathroom." "There's some mouthwash on the counter if you need it," he offered helpfully. "And there's some bottled water in the fridge ..." "Thank you ... but you're not allowed to move a muscle, okay? I'll be right back!" I gladly took him up on his offer - as much as I didn't mind swallowing my man's come, it did leave a peculiar aftertaste and it seemed to clog my throat, making me feel like I needed to cough. After gargling and rinsing and taking a few much-needed sips of water, I returned to the bed, my upper body still bare. Rob hadn't moved, but he'd propped his head with a pillow and his eyes had followed me around the room. "Your breasts are perfect," he said softly. "You like them?" I giggled. "I'm glad. They're all I've got ..." "I wouldn't say that," Rob smiled, pulling my upper body close to his again. "You have a lot more than just perfect breasts going for you." I giggled again, absolutely loving his compliments. "But admit it, you're a boob man first and foremost, right?" I teased, dangling one of my drooping mounds directly over his face. His eyes twinkled and he cooperated by taking it into his mouth again. This time, in this position, his mouth and tongue felt even more wonderful on me. I began to think I could actually come with this kind of stimulation, as long as it was this very man doing the stimulating. How much better it would be if I could only feel his wonderful cock penetrating me at the same time! Still, it really WAS incredible, and I was surprised to find that my breath was coming in shorter, faster gasps, just like his had been when I was pleasuring him. All of a sudden he switched sides and I realized that one of his hands was back on my ass while the other was now on the damp breast, softly kneading it as his wide-open mouth and firm, expert tongue did their magic on the other. I was the helpless one now - one of my arms was supporting me and the other was behind Rob's head. 'Oh my God,' my mind screamed, 'I LOVE having my own boobs!!!' And I loved what Rob was doing to them - somehow he knew exactly how to drive me crazy with pleasure. I wanted SO much to have a release, but I also wanted him to keep doing this forever. Then a picture found its way into my imagination - a picture, or maybe more like a physical sensation - of Rob's big gorgeous penis finding its way between my legs and slowly working its way into my vagina, filling and stretching me and plunging in and out, and in and out, his mouth sucking and licking my breast all the while ... and then it just happened! A huge wave of intense tingles coursed through my neck, my shoulders and my spine. Not anything like the climactic releases I'd experienced as a sixteen-year-old boy with Julia, or even the ones I often gave myself, but erotic and wonderful just the same. And all the more so because it was really the first 'orgasm' I ever experienced as a girl. And all it took was the most perfect man to make it happen! My arm gave out at that moment and I slumped sideways onto the bed. Rob was back on me in a second, kissing my face and lips and telling me how beautiful and sexy I was. Then he got me back by sucking on my boob again, and I squirmed and begged him to stop - not because it was too sensitive, but because now it felt like his sucking was tickling me to death! Of course he didn't, any more than I had with him. So in a panic I reached for his cock and was surprised to find it as erect as it was before. As soon as my hand closed around it Rob's mouth came off me and he let out a gasp. "Oh, so that got YOU all excited too," I giggled. This was like, too wonderful for words. My hand started pumping him again and he responded by sucking in a big breath. Knowing I was in for another treat, I climbed on top of him, tugging my dress up slightly so I could straddle his legs, and went to work - oh sorry, I mean play! Both of Rob's arms reached out and his hands went straight for my boobs, and while he held on there I concentrated on being as kind as I could to Rob's already-sensitive penis while at the same time making sure my right hand gave him the maximum stimulation. I rested the palm of my left hand firmly on the pubic bone just above his cock, 'cause I knew how much more exciting that would be for him, and just went for it. Rob's eyes were still wide open, and as he watched my hands have their way with his manhood, he gasped, "You have the sexiest fingers ... and I love your nails ..." "Is there anything you don't love about me, Robert?" I prodded in a high girly voice, knowing what his answer would be but craving it just the same. "NOTHING," he cried out, and at that precise instant a big spurt of semen erupted out of the end of his penis and coated my hands - and part of my dress as well! "My, aren't YOU easy to please," I giggled. "I hardly have to do a thing ..." Rob's breath was labored. "That's just it, Sandra ... I'm not that easy ... to please. It's all you ... you're SO sexy!" "Me?" I asked in my sweetest innocent voice. I liked where he seemed to be heading. "Yes -- YOU. You're ... amazing. I didn't think there were girls ... like you ... in the world. I've been seriously stuck on to you since the moment I met you. I'm not kidding ... you have any idea how attractive you are? ... and I don't just mean your looks ... and how you dress ..." "You're too kind, Robert." "No I'm not. I'm just being honest ... that's all." "Well, I happen to be very attracted to you, too. And it isn't just your blue eyes, and your hunky body ... you're very nice to me, and I like that. Oh yeah -- thanks for keeping your promise." He laughed, "You mean about the princess treatment?" "What else?" "Well, you WERE quite a bit of of trouble ... but nothing I couldn't handle." "Watch it, mister," I giggled -- both my hands were now holding him, and he was quickly going limp. But I gave him a firm little squeeze to get my point across. "Okay, okay - you win! Just be careful with that thing, okay?" That got me giggling like a little girl. I must say, I was totaling loving that situation. Thank God I'd managed to wriggle out of the impossible spot he tried to steer me into. And all it took was a few 'manual' and 'oral' skills I'd acquired on my own and with my ex-boyfriend. After helping Rob get cleaned up (and cleaning myself up, for the second time), we just laid on his bed for a long while, kissing and caressing each other. What a dream guy he was, I mused, to keep giving me the kind of attention I needed after sex. No wonder Katie missed him so much, I thought for the umpteenth time. But very soon I would be the latest girl to miss him. He was about to return to his jet-set life, leaving me behind and, for all I knew, probably finding himself yet another girlfriend somewhere out west. And the thought that our love might be over just when it getting started made me feel so alone, empty and cheated, even though he was still right there holding me close, that I couldn't enjoy the moment any more. So I finally got up the gumption to ask him to take me home. When we arrived at my house we made sure we had each other's phone numbers and email addresses, and Rob promised to call and write as often as he could. As we embraced and kissed passionately he told me he wished I was going with him the next day. "I wish I was too ... more than anything," I replied, and I could feel the tears trickling down my face. He lightly brushed them away with his finger. "Maybe you can come out to California this summer ... we could spend some quality time together." For once that didn't sound like the familiar take-charge Rob - maybe because he knew I held those cards myself. "We'll see," was all I could think to answer. He nodded silently, then got out and came around to open my door. We held my hand as we ascended the steps to the porch, and I put my arms around his neck and let him kiss me long and hard one last time, even though my heart was hurting really badly. Then we said our goodbyes and he was on his way. ***** 'Another all-nighter,' I thought wryly as I slowly transformed myself from that sophisticated, sexy young woman (albeit with the tear-streaked makeup, messed-up hair and stained cocktail dress) to the more familiar teenage girly-boy in a short pink nightie that usually stared back from my mirror at bedtime. I hoped I'd made it to my room without wakening Mom or Phil - like, as if I needed any of their disapproving comments THAT night. I was sure I'd hear it all in the morning, and that would be bad enough. Like, don't get me wrong - I know all too well that I was playing with fire that night. Thankfully I never got burned, but I very nearly got badly scorched. It still amazes me how I got away with some of the things I did at that age. Anyway, the numbers on my nightstand clock read 4:37 when I finally slipped between the sheets. But for the longest time I couldn't sleep a wink - and not only because of my intense feelings for Rob. I just kept rehashing the events of that unbelievable evening over and over, thinking hard about how they had affected my sense of the person I was and how I was hoping to live my life. I thought of Erica's assessment of me - like, how my feelings and emotions usually dictated my actions. True enough when it came to Rob. My entire relationship with him sprang out of my heart's desire to experience everything life could offer for a woman. And having a man of Rob's qualities want to court me, and romance me - or probably more accurately, have his way with my body - well, to me that was the ultimate form of flattery, don't you agree? But I'd lusted after him too. The alcohol was a factor, no question - and maybe the hormones played a part as well - but there was no denying the sexual attraction I felt for that man. Like, I really, really wanted him to make love to me, and I wanted so badly to make love to him. Was that the final proof I was gay, I wondered? After all, I loved every second of my two encounters with his big, wonderful penis - even if I had no vagina for him to put it in. Or was it just my developing female nature reacting as it should to a male who was kind, good-looking and marked for success in life? I couldn't decide which, so I just shrugged and decided I didn't care. But more importantly, had I fallen completely in love with Rob Hewitt? Well, duh! THAT was pretty unavoidable, knowing what I was like at that point in my life. When I told him I'd miss him, I wasn't kidding - in fact, I was already feeling the awful vacuum of his absence, and he hadn't even left town yet. I wondered how and when I'd get to see him again, and if I could cope in the meantime. Another thought that occurred to me was how glad I was that my boobs were still a hundred percent natural. I'd read in Seventeen about how a guy can tell you have implants, and for me that night, it was super-important that Rob never get the slightest hint about the real me. Besides, he told me he thought they were 'perfect' - he'd never say that if they were fake, would he? And I SO enjoyed how he made love to my breasts -- if I'd had implants I'd be so worried they might be a turn-off for him that there's no way I could ever come. So I resolved to stick with my hormones and forget about undergoing that kind of surgery. Now the OTHER kind of surgery - that was an entirely different matter. If my mind had any doubts before about whether I'd end up with my own vagina, that night had put them to rest once and for all. Like, there was absolutely NO WAY I was going to miss out on real live sexual intercourse with a man. What went through my mind was the concept that, no matter how well I could pass as one, all my other female experiences wouldn't amount to anything more than play-acting. By that time in my life, I knew how much I loved being with guys - I mean, hanging out with them, doing fun things with them, joking around with them, dating them, kissing them, and yes, making love with them too. Actually, it was more of a need - a need to be treated like a girl in every possible way, and to be someone's girlfriend, someone's fianc?e, and someone's wife. And I knew that as much as I loved girls too, they'd never be able to fulfill all those needs, especially with how I was planning to live my entire life in skirts. So, no matter what people like Mark and Erica had to say about the subject, for me the die was now cast - I'd be pursuing sex-change surgery as soon as I could afford it. And if that meant Mark and I might never get back together, well, so be it. My encounter with Rob had proven to me that Mark wasn't the only fish in the sea. One thing for sure - that night would be one I'd always remember as a turning point in my life. As the lace-trimmed curtains on my bedroom window began to brighten, I drifted off to sleep at long last, the new dawn's first light helping make me feel cautiously optimistic about my future as a woman. ***** Speaking of Mark - or more accurately Mark's family, I finally did something I'd been intending to do but putting off for months - take Megan out to see a movie. One Saturday afternoon I rode the bus to their house, and took her with me on another bus to the AMC theaters at a mall not far from there. As awkward and uncomfortable as it was for me to go anywhere near the McCowans, things seemed to go not too badly, at least at first - Megan met me at the door and gave me a big hug; I got another one from Mrs. McCowan (who said she was glad I was growing my hair out again), and answered her questions about school, my job, and of course the upcoming play, and I managed to get out of there without too many uncomfortable moments. I couldn't bring myself to inquire about my ex, but I was about to find out anyway. On the bus ride, Megan spilled her guts about all that. I could have done without the gory details - Mark and Pam had been dating steadily since I broke up with him, and Megan was none too pleased because Pam was always 'hanging all over him and smooching him." She told me I needed to "steal him back from her" because "she isn't as nice to him as you were," and besides, "you're a lot prettier," and "you're way more fun to do stuff with." If Megan thought I was prettier, that was okay with me (though I sincerely doubted it was true - remember, I'd met Pam before). But, as if to prove her last point, we really did have a good time that day. We saw 'Toy Story' which Megan said was back in the theaters before the release of the sequel later that year. I'd never seen it before, and at first I thought would be too juvenile for either of us girls, but she really wanted to see it again and we both ended up loving every minute of it. What a fun movie -- like, we'd both grown up playing with so many of those toys, and it was just so funny to see them as computer-animated live characters! After the show we were both in great spirits, so we strolled around the mall and did a little shopping. We visited the cosmetics section of the Macy's store and I purchased some lipstick and nail polish while Megan bought lip gloss, but not before we'd both tried out several colors and shades on each other. Then we spent a really fun half-hour trying on costume jewelry, and I bought her a sterling silver neck chain she liked a lot. It was beginning to feel like one of my shopping trips with Natalie, only this time I got to be the 'older sister.' Just outside Macy's there was a small bridal shop that had the most gorgeous strapless wedding dress in the window, and we both stopped to admire it. Now remember, Megan was something of a fashion expert, having spent much of her childhood choosing skirts, tops and dresses for her legion of Barbie dolls, so I gave her credit for knowing her stuff when she told me that wedding dress would look perfect on me. How could I disagree? It certainly had all the feminine details I loved, like the empire waist, sweetheart neckline, and tons of pretty lace details on the bodice. The most wonderful, breathtaking feature was the sheer lace- trimmed overlay on the skirt. "It's totally beautiful, Megan," I said. "You should go try it on," she suggested rather forcefully. "Oh I can't do that," I lamented, trying to not to sound like I disagreed with her. "You have to make appointments at these places. Anyway, I won't be getting married anytime soon ..." "You might," she persisted. "I've been telling Mark he should propose to you." "You've been what? Megan -- like, he's dating Pam. Why would he propose to ME?" "Don't you know anything, Sandy? He still loves you - that's why." That piece of news took me aback. I thought Mark had forgotten all about me. "Uh ... are you sure about that? Like, he never calls or anything ..." "That's 'cause he doesn't think you love him anymore. That's what he told me, but I said you DO love him. You really do, don't you?" "Of course I do." "Then why don't you get back together and get married?" Oh my God, I thought, if only it was that simple. But how was I going to explain it to Megan? "Well ... I'd really like to, but ..." "But nothing. Just do it, Sandy. You have to save him from Pam!" I nodded, trying to think of how to respond. "Uh ... okay, I'll do my best, Megan. But it's kind of up to him ..." Meaning, he'd have to accept that I was getting the operation. "I'll help too," she said, sounding enthusiastic about our prospects. As we walked from the bus stop back to the McCowan house, we were both chatting away in great spirits. My mood changed to apprehension when I spotted Mark's car in the driveway, though - 'Is Pam here too?' I wondered. As much as I wanted to see Mark, I decided I'd better do a quick U-turn at the door. But I never got to. He was there waiting for us! "Uh, hi - how are you?" I inquired, pretty lamely I thought considering we hadn't seen each other for months. SO awkward! "Not bad - how about yourself?" No obvious warmth, or anything that would suggest he was happy to see me. "Okay I guess ..." Megan intervened at that moment and said to her brother, "Mark, you need to give Sandy a hug!" "Only if she wants one." "Uh ... sure!" I replied, trying to sound eager even though I just felt uncomfortable. So we embraced, although I didn't sense much in the way of affection in the way he hugged me. All I could think was, 'this doesn't feel right at all.' But obviously I couldn't say anything in front of Megan. So all I did was thank her for hanging out with me that day, and I told Mark how nice it was to see him again, and I turned tail and scurried back to the bus stop, half expecting (and hoping) my former boyfriend would run up behind me and offer to drive me home. But that never happened, and I spent the entire bus ride in a fog, oblivious to all the men's stares, wondering what was wrong with Mark and whether I could ever get back on good terms with him. ***** It's funny how relationships can ebb and flow, isn't it? Fortunately for me, when Julia and I were on the outs the year before, I met Mark and he filled that awful void very nicely. And after that love affair totally imploded, Julia came back into my life and we were getting along once again. Well, not exactly like we were before - like, we could never be girlfriend and boyfriend again - but this time we were more like two girlfriends, which is all I could have hoped for. We often ate lunch together - which was nice for me, seeing as how most of the other kids tended to steer clear - and we'd help each other with our homework assignments, compare notes on the accounting work we both did for our Moms, and talk about clothes and makeup - and sometimes, even guys! Yes, Kath and I were still best friends, and we always would be, but that friendship was kind of different. With Kath it didn't matter which sex I was or wasn't, and she herself seemed as androgynous as ever, or maybe tomboyish was still the best description. I know it shouldn't have mattered to me, but it did - I figured, if God gave you a real female body, why wouldn't you take full advantage of that? You know, have tons of fun with pretty clothes, makeup, jewelry ... and break a few boys' hearts? Julia, on the other hand, had really come into her own as a young woman - I mean, she'd slimmed down and was dressing a lot nicer now, even wearing a skirt to school on occasion (making me wonder if I could get away with that), and her awful makeup jobs were a thing of the past. SHE was doing the girl thing right, in my opinion, and I often found myself envying her for being a natural-born female. One day at lunch I noticed Justin Bradford stealing glances in our direction from across the room. He was eating with some of his friends, but he was the only one there who seemed interested in what we were doing. "Don't look now, but the school creep's checking us out again," I said to Julia. "Is he? Hmm ... he seems to be doing that a lot these days. Maybe he has the hots for you." "Julia! That's not very funny." "I'm being serious. Maybe he has a thing for girls like you ..." "Well I don't have a 'thing' for idiots like him." "Okay, but you have to admit -- he HAS mellowed a lot, hasn't he?" she remarked. "Yeah, I guess so," I agreed, "if by 'mellowed' you mean he can go a whole month without being a complete jerk ..." "He could go an entire year and I still wouldn't forgive him for all that crap back in ninth grade." "Me neither. It'll be nice when we graduate and we never have to see him again." "Him or his buddies." Then she abruptly changed the subject. "So -- how is the play coming along?" "Oh ... way behind as usual? Yesterday Nelson called it a train wreck. Nobody knows their lines yet, and we only have like two weeks to go." "How about you? Perfect as ever, I suppose?" I laughed out loud. "Oh, do I wish! I don't know why Nelson did this to me. Like, I have to memorize two entire parts and do all their songs? I'm going to mess up so bad ..." "Oh, as if you'd ever mess up! You're little miss perfection, aren't you?" "I think you mean miss 'IM-perfection.'" Still, it was kind of cool to hear Julia call me a 'miss.' That was progress! "Well I'm counting on you to knock 'em dead like you did last year. Remember what I said?" "Not really ... oh, you mean like, I found my calling or something?" "Exactly. This is what you do, Sandy. Like, last year I thought you totally became that girl ... what's her name?" "Hodel." "Yeah, Hodel. The cute little Jewish girl. You were so believable I thought you were Jewish." "Kath was way better than me." "Yeah, she did a good job, but you have something extra - like, you really connect with the audience. In that one song you had everybody in tears. Me included." "That's very nice of you. But now you've made me even more nervous? Like everyone's gonna have such high expectations." "You'll be great - I just know it." Well, I didn't have anywhere near the confidence in myself that she seemed to have in me, but that did help me resolve to do my very best to finish learning my songs and my lines. The bestest thing ever, though, was just that Julia was my girlfriend once again. To be continued ....