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Hammer's Garden of Rare Beauties By Rohmer Fan I reloaded my shotgun after another zombie burst into bloody pieces. Ever since I graduated high school last month, I had done almost nothing else but play this zombie game at the truck stop down the road from my house. A neighbor of mine worked behind the cash register and showed me how to open the machine and get all the free games I wanted. Because my parents both worked graveyard shifts at Walmart, I had a lot of time to myself. I was dreading starting community college in the Fall because I had no reason to be there. I didn't know what I wanted to study and the only people I was going to know there were assholes who picked on me in high school. I got picked on a lot, actually. I was overweight and had figured out a long time ago that it was better to just stay quiet than say the wrong thing, which I would always do if I opened my mouth. I was hoping I'd be able to make friends in college, even if I were surrounded by the same old goons. I felt like I had a chance to start over. I rolled my eyes as I heard the rumble of a bunch of bikes pulling into the gas station. These biker guys would always mess with me. I looked out the window to see if it was the same group that usually came in and did a double-take. It was definitely a different group. While every bike had a scary biker guy on it, almost all of them had incredibly hot girls riding behind them. It was unreal to look at, like something out of a movie. One of them was this gorgeous Asian girl with long hair. Her ass was sticking out of her really small cut-off jean shorts. She looked like a model or an actress. As they pulled to a stop, I saw that she had large flower-looking tattoos all over her back, which was exposed because all she was wearing up top was a white half-shirt. As a few of them got off their bikes and started walking towards the truck stop, I turned back to the game. The hot girls would only make the teasing even worse if I got caught looking at them. Two or three guys and the Asian girl came into the truck stop. I could see their reflections in the blank game screen next to the zombie one I was playing. They looked rough. Out of the corner of my eye I saw a taller guy wearing all black leather. I was used to bikers being bigger guys, and this one was no exception. He had a little bit of a gut, but otherwise was pretty muscular. The other two guys he came in with were of normal weight. All of them had beards, but the tall guy's was the longest. "Lotus, fill up my tank. I'm going to get us some beer." The Asian girl walked back out after the tall guy barked at her. The guy who spoke grabbed a 12-pack of something off the ground and put it up on the counter, then he sighed sharply and bellowed, "Son, do you work here? Ain't nobody the fuck in this place going to ring us up?" I looked over at him with a deep sense of dread and said, "The guy working the counter is probably in the back on the computer." My voice sounded frail and sniveling in my head. "Well shit." He started looking around. "Fuck it, I'm taking this shit." He laughed and started walking out. Before he got out of the door he paused and chuckled to himself. I turned back around to play my game again and heard the tall man say to one of the guys he was with, "Hunter, 'member I said I was gonna take care of you, brother?" There was a long silence and then the other two guys walked out. The tall guy stayed and walked over to me. "What's your name, son?" "Michael." He sucked his teeth. "You got an Apple shirt on, Michael. You like those guys? Apple? I hate that shit myself." I shook my head and said, "No, it's just a shirt I got." He nodded. "So, Red. Do you like pussy?" I stared at him. I always got picked on for being a redhead. "Shit son, it's an easy question. Do you like pussy or not?" I swallowed my saliva. This guy was loud and had eyes that really bore into you. I wasn't just intimidated, I felt like I was going to wet my pants. "Sure." He patted me on the back. "Sure. Sure you do. Me too. You see that tight little Asian chick? That's Lotus, I hit that shit morning, noon, and night." He scoffed then paused and gave me a long look. "Look, I'm in a damn good mood, Red. Why don't you come with us and I'll have a few of my ladies take good care of you. Would you like that?" He had a big smile on his face. My instincts said, "No, run," but there was something about him that made me feel like an affirmative was the only answer he was interested in getting. Also, I had to admit that just about anything was better than playing games alone at a truck stop in the middle of the night. But I felt like it would be a nightmare if they brought me along just to make fun of me. I looked down at the ground and asked, "Why me?" He reared his head back and looked at me with wide eyes. "That's a damn good question. Well, you make me sad. You're here all by yourself playing a damn game in the middle of the night while I'm swimming in pussy. Makes me feel sorta sorry for ya. Come on, Michael. You can ride with me. Call me 'Hammer.'" As I walked out towards the biker gang, everyone stared at me like I was an alien except for the girls. They just sort of looked through me and nodded with half-smiles. ~ On the back of Hammer's bike, I felt fat and exposed. My love handles were poking out from under my shirt and I felt like my jeans were too tight. I would probably have been more embarrassed if I wasn't scared shitless. The entire bike gang drove past a fancy golf course and then onto a beach which looked deserted and parked on it. "I know what you're thinking, Michael," Hammer said as I got off of his bike. I wondered if he was talking about how scared I was. He could probably tell. "I know what you're thinking. You're thinking 'how are these biker motherfuckers going to get away with fucking around on a private country club beach' and my answer to that is that I know for a fucking fact that this whole thing is closed and shut down for a month, and we're free and clear the whole time. Ain't that nice?" He laughed. Near the tree line I saw a few tents already made up. Most of them were pretty large. There was a campfire already going on the beach about fifty yards away from the tents. I could see a few bikers and girls already there sitting on sections of wood logs. "Brought y'all some beer." Hammer sat down at the campfire and the rest of them looked at me. "This here's Red. He's my guest tonight. Now you're not part of the biker gang or nothin' but you can hang out with us tonight. We've gotta word for young people, guests, like yourself we let hang out with us. 'Fawn' so if somebody says, 'hey fawn, hand me a beer' they're talking to you. Got me?" I nodded. 'Fawn.' I started to wonder if any of them would bother to give me a ride home. As the rest of the bikers sat around the fire and started drinking, I took note of the girls. They were all beautiful. Each one was unique and had a certain style of tattoos. Lotus had flowers tattooed all over, which I assume were lotuses. On the other girls I saw: roses, vines, eyes, snakes, white petals, honeysuckle, and a bunch of other flowers I didn't recognize. I was barely paying attention to the conversation when Hammer, who was sitting right beside me forced a beer into my hand. "Drink up, fawn!" He grinned. I took a sip. It was nasty. I hated the taste of beer. I kept drinking it to fit in, but I didn't drink it fast. "Red, do you know what humulus is?" I shook my head. "Well no shit, why would you? That was a trick question. Humulus is the shit in beer that makes you feel good. See, you take the hop-flower and you extract humulus from it. It's sort of like an opiate. Beer comes from adding that stuff to fermented malt, kind of. Anyway, it's a long boring process and I could tell you all about it, but think about this: there is a very pretty little flower this beer." I nodded but had no idea what he was talking about. "A lot of these girls have flower tattoos, y'see. Flowers are fucking girly, aren't they? We guys all have tattoos of guns and knives and shit. But all of us badass biker dudes are sitting around drinking flowers. Isn't that just gay as hell?" Everyone laughed including Hammer. "Girls, why don't you walk around and show Red your pretty tattoos." As the hot girls walked around the campfire I noticed that their eyes had this glazed over look. I assumed they must be on some kind of drugs. One of them, a blonde wearing jeans and a red bikini top with rose tattoos, looked especially spaced out. When she came near me she started babbling. "Oh wow, red hair. Hey, look at all that red hair. I like red, guy. Look." She unbuttoned her jeans and pulled them down in front of me, then lifted her shirt. She had roses tattooed all over her crotch and lower belly, as if the rose blossoms were all piled up on top of her vagina, which I could see plainly. It was the first time I'd ever seen one in person, other than the one time my Aunt's bathing suit had come off by accident in the community pool. I managed a timid, "That's nice." Everyone laughed. ~ As the night quieted down, I started getting drowsy. "All right assholes, me and Red here are gonna have a little chat over in my tent. Give us some privacy, y'hear." Everyone nodded. Earlier, Hammer said he wanted a chat just between us before the end of the night, so I followed him and Lotus back to their tent, which was pretty large. Lotus took a few blankets out and laid them out on the ground for me to sit on. There were some coolers and buckets of things everywhere and a nice looking cot on the opposite side of the tent from where I was sitting. I noticed a little sand in the tent near the entrance, but not much. Hammer sat in a folding chair near me with Lotus on his lap and started talking. "What do you think, Red?" "I don't know. What do you mean?" "Do you want to join us? You got along with everybody, I could tell they like you. How about it?" I had a lot of fun tonight. I felt included. This was the most anybody had ever paid attention to me, really. They were all a little intimidating, but I didn't feel scared. "I don't know." "I can tell, Red. You're fed up with your life, aren't you? You don't have shit to do, do you?" I shook my head. "Well, I'm going to go to community college this Fall, but I'm not looking forward to it. I know a bunch of assholes that are probably going to be there. I need to get a job, too." Hammer scoffed and said, "That sounds like a bunch of bullshit. You stick with us, you can relax on the beach, have a good time, we'll take care of you. Now's your chance, Red. Cut ties with the past, start a new life. Lotus, you have a good time, don't you babe?" She nodded and kissed his cheek. I looked up at him. He looked serious. I was waiting for him to start laughing at me. I was waiting to hear, "I'm kidding! We'd never want a fat ass like you around!" He just smiled at me and raised his eyebrows. Lotus was looking at me too. "It sounds too good to be true. Yes, please. That's what I want. Please don't be messing with me. What do I have to do?" Lotus and Hammer smiled at each other. Hammer turned around and started fishing through a cooler near his seat and said, "That's a good question. I mean, this is a biker gang and all. We've got a pretty hardcore initiation type thing." I nodded. "Yeah, that makes sense. I hope I can do it." I wanted to sound brave and cool in front of Hammer and Lotus, but I also felt like I could fail whatever test they had in mind. I always failed. I wondered if they'd want me to fight or steal or something. I couldn't really do any of that. I could play the zombie game. That's about the only thing I'm good at. "I'm sure you can, Michael." Hammer pulled a shampoo bottle out of the cooler and handed it to me. "Open the cap and drink it." I looked at it. It was an orange Prel container that said "Conditioner for oily hair". "So, drinking conditioner... that doesn't seem too dangerous." Hammer laughed really hard. "Red, that shit isn't fucking conditioner, but holy fuck that's funny. I'm gonna remember that. Eh, no, that bottle's got your initiation drugs in it. Shit's gonna change your life." He grinned. I opened up the bottle and smelled it. It didn't even have a smell. It looked sort of gray. I was tired of being a boring loser. I thought, "If I were Hammer, I'd look the person who gave this in the eye and drink it right down without thinking twice." I put the bottle to my lips and chugged the whole thing in one gulp, then handed the empty bottle to Hammer. "Damn son. You're braver than I thought. There ain't no turning back now." "What's next?" I said. The liquid didn't have a taste to it at all and I didn't feel any different. "Well, you passed the first test with flying motherfucking colors." He paused and squeezed Lotus a little bit. "Y'know, next up there're gonna be two or three other things but first, let me tell you a story. There once was a guy named William Simpson, most people called him Bill. He was one of the people who studied the Switch when it broke out in this country. You know about that disease, don't you?" I nodded. We had read about it in biology class. "Good. Well, Bill was a lab guy at the Center for Disease Control, AKA the CDC. He worked in Atlanta and had a boring life just like everybody else. It was his job to figure out how the disease worked. You see, we'd never heard about anything like this before, Red. Something that could radically change someone's DNA like flipping on a light switch. Sex, sexual orientation, age, puberty, hormones, the mind - it was powerful stuff." I guess I was starting to feel the effects of the drugs. I was fighting keeping my eyes open. At this rate, I was going to need to sleep here or I might fall off of the back of a bike if someone tried to take me home. "Well Bill wanted to get ahead of the game. Instead of worrying too much about stopping this disease, which isn't even life-threatening, he started exploring other uses. What he learned about epigenetics in just a few years is still considered vastly important in the field. Vastly." He licked his lips. "But they didn't appreciate him. He only lost a handful of monkey test subjects and never a single human one, but still. They were scared of his ideas. They fired him, Red. This genius. They didn't just fire him, they got him thrown in prison and then blacklisted him. Shocking, I know. But Bill was smart. He kept all of his research and even a good amount of material he snuck out of his lab. This was his research, son. He wasn't just going to let some asshole steal his glory, was he?" Lotus came over and sat beside me and started rubbing my head but I was already pitching backwards. I needed to take a nap. I leaned back and closed my eyes. "Sure. Rest a little. We'll have plenty of time to talk. I brought you here for a reason, Red. I took one look at you and thought, 'this kid is special.' Maybe it was those big eyes of yours." I could hear him chuckling while I was starting to fall asleep. ~ I woke up covered in sweat and groaned. My head had never hurt this bad. I guess this is what you call a hangover. "Morning." Lotus was lying on the blanket beside me with her face only inches away from mine. She was looking at me with adoring eyes and stroking my hair. I tried moving but all the muscles in my body were so sore that sharp pains shot through me. I groaned loudly. "Don't try moving. Your body will hurt. Okay?" She smiled at me. "I don't understand... What's happening?" Lotus smiled at me. "We're going to be good friends, okay? Won't that be nice?" "Lotus, is that brand new fawn of ours up yet?" Hammer walked into the tent and walked over to give me a close look. I just decided to stay still and be quiet. He tapped my head with his finger a few times and said, "We all took a vote last night and everybody's looking forward to you being a new part of the gang. That head of yours... it's gonna be going a little soft, I know you won't mind, but I thought I'd tell you just the same." I took a deep breath. I was having a hard time concentrating. Hammer smiled and looked me over. "You're already slimming down, Red. What I gave you last night is my own personal version of the Switch. The modification of the Y chromosome is still where the magic happens, but I cut out the whole three week process. The three day version I made is a little more painful and you'll get some memory loss, but otherwise you'll be healthy." He chuckled. "Actually, you'll be a knockout." I looked over at Lotus and tried to think. Was he saying he was turning me into a woman? That's what the Switch did. "Why?" I managed to get that much out. "Well, Red, to be honest you're fucking perfect. We needed another girl to even things out and you were ready and willing to join up. You're 18 so we don't have to worry about parents coming around looking for you. I've been sending your parents text messages all day saying you're running off to the East Coast to live with some guy. That should be enough." I moaned. Things were starting to get fuzzy. Hammer sat down in his folding chair and grabbed a beer. "This initiation of yours is my version of the Switch, I call it The Hammer. You like that? Anyway, The Hammer is what ended up getting me into trouble. It beefs up some of the side effects of the disease. Y'see, The Switch normally makes your brain a little soft. During the three week version, you start slowly noticing changes as the hormone dump rebuilds your frontal lobe and does a few other things. I figured out why the disease was doing this while nobody else did because I didn't have all that politically correct bullshit in my head. The reason the disease did that is because sex makes you stupid." He laughed. "Adolescence is a bitch, isn't it? Well, it turns you into a complete fucking retard. The regular disease only does this a little bit, like I said. Mine gives you a big wallop all at once," he looked at his watch, "and in just a few hours, I think." I moaned. I felt myself shivering. "Yeah, so about your body. I put some stuff in this to make you hit all the right spots during your switch. I mean, I'm not gonna have any ugly bitches in my squad. All of this is epigenetics 101. The disease makes it all easy, otherwise I wouldn't be able to get all the changes in the right order like I want." He got up and walked towards the entrance. "Lotus is gonna keep you company, right Lotus?" She nodded. "I'll be back in a few hours after some barbeque to get your head right, Red." He paused. "Actually, I just thought of a name for you. You got red hair, and that shirt of yours has an apple on it, so from now on your name is Apple. Get some rest, Apple. Next couple of days are gonna be hard." Hammer walked out and Lotus kept stroking my head. "You're gonna be so pretty, Apple. I do all the tattoos. There's a lot we can do with apples. Apple trees, apple blossoms, apple seeds, candy apples, apple cores, lots of green, yellow and red." She kissed my forehead and covered me with another blanket as the shivers got worse. "Apples were the forbidden fruit, you know. Adam and Eve in the garden. I know you'll be happy with us, Apple." With my body in pain, covered in sweat and chills, I felt Lotus put a pill in my mouth and a few minutes later I fell asleep. ~ "Can you hear me, Apple?" I woke up with my body on fire and Hammer looking at me like a prize catch. Lotus was sitting up on my bed at my feet. The blanket was drenched in sweat and I smelled like a locker room. I could feel my eyes rolling in my head. I tried to remember what was going on. I vaguely knew that Hammer had given me a ride here and I'd gotten sick. "Apple, can you hear me? Nod if you can." I nodded but a lot of things seemed distant. My name was Michael. I lived in Encinitas, California. I had parents and their names were... I don't know. I remember they worked late night shifts at Walmart. "Do you remember my name, Apple?" "Hammer." My voice sounded different. Lighter. I felt lighter, too. I curled into a ball. My body felt so small. "Good." He grinned. "You know you're my little fawn and you're going through an initiation into my group. You were telling me how much you wanted to join last night." "Mmm." I remembered the campfire a little and then Lotus talking about apples. "We're all looking forward to having you with us, Apple." He picked up my arm and took my pulse. "I'm going to take a blood sample." Hammer pricked my finger and took some blood. I looked at my hand. It seemed so tiny. I mumbled, "My name is Michael. I live in Encinitas, California. My parents work at Walmart." Hammer grinned at me. "All of those things are part of your old life, Apple. We're your new family now. Your new friends." I thought that sounded nice. New friends. A new life. "That's nice." I said. "Glad to hear. I was worried I'd have to... be more persuasive. Modify things." Lotus spoke up, "You mean like with Rose, Hammer?" "Yes, Rose." Lotus frowned. "I love Rose, but I'm glad you don't have to be that way with Apple." She patted my leg. I moaned as the pain came back. "Lotus, take care of Apple. Use the pills. This is going to be the worst of it." Hammer grabbed some beer and walked out of the tent. I spent the rest of the day and then that night switching from terrible pain to sleep, with Lotus nursing me the whole time. My name was Michael and I lived in Encinitas California, but I was Apple now. It was a nice name, Apple. Apple... something. I couldn't remember my last name. ~ A man I didn't recognize was picking me up and putting me on some towels near the bed. "He must be really strong," I thought, because I knew I was overweight and he was holding me like I was made of nothing. I felt drool all over my face and my body was sticky with sweat on top of dried sweat on top of even more dried sweat. My hair felt gross and was thick on my head. "I'm dirty." I reached towards him and put my hand on his arm. "You're awake? Lotus, I'll clean up the bed and stuff if you wash Apple off." I saw Lotus get down on her knees beside me. "Thanks, Hunter. Let's get those clothes off, 'kay." I looked up at her and then Hunter. He was older, maybe as old as my dad, but instead of looking like a boring old guy, Hunter seemed kind of cool. Lotus tugged at my wet shirt and started pulling it over my head. My body was sore and I let her take it off. It was hard to raise my head, but I did a little and looked down at my body. I remembered being fat before. A fat 18 year old boy who stared at his body every day and hated himself, but that was all gone now. I was thin. Very thin. Lotus tugged down my baggy jeans and underwear then tossed it on the floor. I lifted my arm and felt around my crotch and there was nothing there. All my years as a male were a blur, but I remembered some things. I remembered being made fun of in the locker room during high school gym. The other boys called me fat and made fun of how small my penis was. They could see through my white briefs. I hated that memory. I remembered my first crush, a pretty girl with blonde hair whose name I forget. She always dressed nice. She sat near me in... I forget what grade. Was it high school? She was nice to me when nobody else was. I was thin now and a girl like her. My smooth and hairless torso was small and frail, but I had soft spots on my chest and my nipples seemed large. At least nobody would pick on me for being fat anymore. "Apple, you're already getting so pretty. I've been thinking about all the nice tattoos I'm going to give you." She started squeezing a sponge on my stomach and cleaning me. It felt amazing as the room temperature water poured around my stomach and between my legs. As Lotus cleaned my body off, I looked up at her face. It was like I was seeing her for the first time. She looked serene. "You're so beautiful." When I said this she looked down and smiled at me. "Hunter, do you hear how sweet Apple is?" I turned my head a little to look at Hunter while Lotus washed my upper torso. He glanced at me and then quickly looked away. My nipples felt very sensitive to the cool air as it blew on my wet body. I had no idea what my crotch really looked like at this point, but I felt the water dribbling around something new there. My legs were so thin that there was a space between them even though they were close together. I thought about Lotus and how good her body looked. I hoped mine would look like that. "Lotus, I'm glad I'm not fat anymore." She was washing my neck and shoulders. "Nope, you're nice and thin. What do you think, Hunter?" This time he looked at Lotus and then me and said, "The change is huge, yeah. I wonder how Hammer does it. Like, last night he told me what Apple's freakin' measurements would be. I don't get it." He let his gaze linger over my body as Lotus washed down my legs. "My buck is brilliant, isn't he Hunter? I love him. I know a lot of girls have to shave, and wax, and take birth control, and lots of other things but he fixed all that for us. Can you turn Apple over for me?" He came towards me and picked me up. My body was wet against his dry rough hands and as he turned me over I felt the breasts I'd begun to grow jiggle a little bit. As he placed me on my belly, hair fell around my head. It was longer and thicker than it had been. Lotus started sponging my lower back and around my waist. "Lotus, are any of the other girls here like me?" "What do you mean, Sweetie?" "Like, guys who got switched. You said Rose was..." "All the girls here were. I was. Most of them begged to do it after Hammer had a few people on his crew who knew some trannies and stuff. Before any of that though, I was the first." Lotus sounded proud of this. She was washing my butt and between my legs. It finally occurred to me that I should be embarrassed to be so exposed with Lotus and Hunter around, but I wasn't. I felt like either one of them could pry me open and look in every crevice and I wouldn't mind. Now that I was feeling a little less dirty, I would've let them touch me anywhere as well. Lotus continued her story. "I know the disease blurs some memories, but I remember some things. Like, I was apprenticing at a tattoo shop somewhere outside San Fran when I met Hammer. I remember that my parents were Korean and that all of my tattoos disappeared during the change. Hammer was already running with Max, Jake, and Crow. Hunter, hold her head up over the bucket so I can wash her hair." So I was a "her" now. That made sense. I was going to be a pretty girl. I was looking forward to it. At least I wouldn't be an ugly fat redheaded guy anymore. When I really became a girl, I wouldn't care who saw any part of me. As Hunter held my body up and Lotus ran her fingers through my hair, I started to look forward to when I could at least move around on my own again. ~ The sound of Lotus getting fucked was enough to rouse me from my sleep. I was still sore all over, but it felt boring and clammy, like a normal cold rather than stormy and painful. Luckily I was already lying on my side facing Hammer and my caregiver while she rode him on their cot. I wouldn't have to struggle to turn myself over to watch. I had watched a lot of porn on the internet, but I had never really seen anything like this. Lotus was on top of him and just slowly moving her hips back and forth. There wasn't any crazy humping or anything. She was just moving back and forth on it and looking Hammer in the eyes with her mouth hanging open a little, panting. Hammer had this serious but pleasant look on his face as if he was being served tea. He was pretty muscular but he wasn't as good looking as Hunter. It felt strange to think about guys in terms of "good looking" or "not as good looking." I felt new instincts creeping in but I couldn't say what they were or even how to describe them. I still didn't remember asking Hammer to make me a woman, but I could imagine why I did. I thought about the kids picking on me. Did I even have any friends? I couldn't think of a single one. I didn't remember my parents ever really talking to me. I hated my body. I wanted to lose weight but when I started to try it always felt too difficult. It was easier to deal with the mockery than to change my whole life around dieting and exercise. I remembered something else. I recalled a time where I lay awake at night daydreaming about killing myself because just stopping, no longer existing, seemed like a relief. My life as Michael from Encinitas seemed like a terrible thing now. As I watched Hammer's face, I thought that maybe he chose me because he could tell. That must have been it. Hammer met me and he knew that I was kind of worthless and that he could start my life over, in a way. While I didn't remember much about my life before now, I did have some general knowledge. The big thing about the Switch, other than that it was usually not just sweating but had gross poop type stuff, was that it changed your sexuality. There was a really popular HBO TV show showing a character going through the Switch. It's about a girl who changed into a guy and started liking girls. He lost all of his friends but eventually got into football and got a girlfriend, I think. If I started liking guys, I mostly wondered if I would start liking guys that were the type to pick on me. What if I found that attractive? I closed my eyes and thought, "Ew, no." There was something stupid about those people. Their eyes had this judgmental immaturity in them. I wanted to get away from that. I wanted to be looked at with eyes that had patience and care in them. Hammer's eyes had a little bit of that, but I could tell he also saw Lotus as his plaything. She was beautiful. I had drifted off thinking about myself, but Lotus was still riding the man who had changed me. Looking at Lotus, I thought, "Is that something I'll want to do?" It was completely out of the realm of imagination for me at the moment. Lotus looked like she was in heaven though. About the only time I ever felt really good was eating ice cream or cake. Maybe having sex as a woman was like that. Now that she was completely naked, I could see that her tattoo was all one piece and took up half of her body. It was a work of art. It was a light green pattern running everywhere: legs, belly, arms, back, shoulders, and neck. It was mostly these green leaves that looked like they were floating in water, and some of the leaves were topped with big flowers that were in just about every color. "Looks like we've got an audience, Lotus." Hammer was eyeing me. "I'm sorry," I said, and pulled the blanket over my head. "Apple can watch, Hammer. Sweetie, pull the covers down." I did and Lotus was smiling at me. Hammer had the same look on his face he'd had the whole time. "I'm gonna get you off then go take care of Apple, okay?" Hammer nodded and Lotus pulled herself off of him and turned around. Sitting on his chest, she bent down and started sucking his cock. When Hammer came a minute later, he closed his eyes and patted her on the ass. "You are one fine piece of ass, girl. Apple, you listen to everything Lotus teaches you, y'hear." Lotus sucked him a little more and then stood up. Hammer lit a weird looking cigarette. "Apple are you thirsty?" "Yes, very." She put a glass of water up to my mouth and I drank it all, then another. I used all my strength to hold myself up as best as I could to sip and Lotus helped by putting her other hand behind my head. The blanket feel down a little and my breasts came out from under it. "Mmm. I did good work with you Apple. Tits already big as Lotus's and they're not done growing yet. And I knew those big eyes and that pouty mouth of yours would look better on a chick." Lotus drank some water herself and then got under the blanket with me and pressed her body against mine. She was hot and it felt nice. I fell asleep with her arm around me while thinking about how happy she looked with Hammer inside her. ~ I woke up with the sun already bright and suddenly felt that everything in my body had stopped. Lotus was quietly sleeping next to me and we were both completely naked. I was intensely thirsty and started looking around for some water. "Mmm, Apple. I'm glad you slept so long. Gave me an excuse to sleep too." She started feeling my chest and I realized that my boobs were gigantic. "Oh wow. They're so big. Let me look." As I turned around to face her I looked down at myself. All I could practically see was my boobs. They felt fat, but in a nice way. It wasn't like having love handles or a big stomach. Lotus squeezed one and giggled. "I feel better Lotus. No headache and I can move around." "Aww, it's like you're all grown up now. I bet you're hungry." I nodded. Lotus got up out of bed and put her jean shorts on and a white bikini top. "There's some barbeque outside. Hunter brought some clothes for you to wear. Crazy Joe used to have an army surplus store so when we need clothes we just get with him and go to the storage unit he keeps all his old inventory in. If we want anything else, it just depends." Finally having the ability to do so, I sat up on the blankets for the first time in days. She handed me a small stack of clothes. It was mostly camo and some solid gray. "Lotus, I just want to be naked." She laughed. "You can be sometimes, but most of the time you need to wear clothes, okay?" She patted my head. For the first time I was looking down at my crotch. There wasn't a single hair to be found anywhere, which felt strange. I had a really wide gap between my legs and my vagina seemed huge. It was big and pink, with large lips on both sides. I raised and spread my legs to get a closer look and the pink flesh easily widened to let me see the wet, dark pink insides. I looked up at Lotus, who was staring at me, with wide eyes. "This one is pretty big, isn't it?" Lotus nodded. "Tulip has a big one too. Crow says it makes her good to eat. You really are just like an apple." She smiled. I started to really wonder what I looked like, but there weren't any mirrors around. I stood up and tried to look at my body as much as I could. Other than my breasts, everything was so small and thin. My hair was long and most of the way down my back. I tried arching my head around to look at my butt, but it just didn't work. My tummy actually seemed a little toned. My stomach started growling and I took a sip of water that was left on a table near the blankets. I looked at the clothes. I had a gray shirt and some gray shorts that said "ARMY" in black letters on them, then a dark green camo shirt and shorts, and a small string bikini that was gray camo. I felt a vague memory of having gray camo cargo shorts sometime in the past when I was a male, but I couldn't remember anything about wearing them, just that they were a hundred times bigger than the shorts in front of me. "Before you put on any clothes, let's put some sunscreen lotion on, ok?" Lotus brought a huge bucket from a corner of the tent and opened it. "Looks gross, right? Hammer makes this stuff himself because we use so much of it." It was full of cloudy goo. I cupped my hand into the goo and put it all over my body. Then Lotus and I put it on each other's backs where we couldn't really reach otherwise. Afterwards, I put on those gray shorts and the camo bikini top. The shorts barely covered my ass and the bikini was small, but I didn't mind. I minded more that I had to get dressed at all. It was like everything that I used to feel embarrassed about had been wiped off of my body. "Lotus, am I pretty?" I looked at her. We were the same height or really close to it. I didn't even remember how tall I had been before. "You're beautiful. After we eat I'm going to give you your first tattoo. I'm free to do whatever, but the Hammer gang rules are 'no tats on the face and tits' though I've gotten a few to creep down off the shoulder a little bit and pushed the limit." She grinned fiendishly. As we walked outside, I squinted in the sunlight. The tent had been bright during the day, but it was still shaded. I didn't see any guys anywhere, but a lot of girls were around a fire pit in their bikinis. It had a large pig roasting on it, which already smelled delicious. As I got closer, one of the blonde girls with purple, orange and pink flower tattoos got up and walked towards me. "Tulip, this is Apple." Lotus said, and the blonde girl put her arms around me and hugged me close. I hugged her back and it felt really good. "Apple, I know you've been through hell. If you need anything, let me know okay?" Another girl with dark brown hair that had blue flowers and female eyes tattooed all over her walked up and hugged me as well. "My name is Iris, Apple. You can talk to me, too." "Thank you, Tulip and Iris." I went and sat down with the other girls, who introduced themselves as Jasmine, Lily and Violet. Tulip got me a big plate of barbeque and some skillet made cornbread, which I tore into as if I hadn't eaten in years. While I ate, the other girls talked about how pretty I was and how they were jealous of my bust size. The compliments made me feel good. I didn't remember spending much time around girls. I bet none of them ever found me attractive. I thought about my crush and it occurred to me that I felt completely comfortable around Lotus and Tulip and the others. I thought they were pretty, but I wasn't nervous around them. That felt different. "Apple, can I give your hair a little trim to get it out of your eyes later? It'll take a minute." Iris asked. I nodded. "You should do that before I give you your first tat. I'm so excited!" Lotus clapped her hands together. Everyone smiled. Iris looked at Lotus and said, "You've been slacking off lately. Lily's been begging you to do that leg one you promised for a while." "Oh, I know. I'm sorry. I want to spend a few days on Apple and then I'll do anything you guys ask. I'm just feeling very inspired." Lotus was beaming. I got the impression that she was the leader of the girls but maybe a little too nice. Like a mom. Tulip bit her lip and said, "Maybe you should wait until after the initiation, Lotus." Lotus made an 'oh' expression and everyone got quiet. "I kind of remember Hammer talking about the initiation, but I felt like it was just the Switch. Is there something else?" Lotus tilted her head and looked at me, then smiled a little. "Yeah, there are a couple more things. We all had to go through it." Everyone nodded. Violet spoke and said, "It's supposed to be a surprise." Violet had light brown hair and a demure look with thick bangs. I noticed that almost all of them had fair skin except for Lily and Tulip who had more olive complexions. Hammer's sunscreen must work really well if they all sit in the sun all day and don't get tanned or burned. At Violet's remark, Lotus turned to me and said, "It's a surprise, but... Apple, when you saw me with Hammer last night, what did you think? I mean, did you think 'she looks like she's having a good time, I'd like to try that.'?" The group raised their eyebrows at me. I said, "Let me think." I closed my eyes and imagined Lotus riding a man, but I pretended it wasn't Hammer. I thought about Hunter since he was better looking. I saw her spreading her legs over him and putting his cock inside her. I felt myself warming up in my crotch and thought that it might be really nice to try something like that. "Yeah, I think if it was the right person I'd like to do it." I smiled at her. She looked at me serenely and said, "Then you're going to be okay. Just remember that all of us had to do the same thing. It will bring us closer together in the long-run." I didn't know what to expect, but I knew that with these girls keeping me company I would be okay. ~ The guys and a few of the other girls came back around supper time. Before that, Tulip was in charge of the food and I assisted her with tearing the pig up and getting the barbeque sauce ready. She told me that all the girls were required to do during the day was food, water, laundry and keeping things tidy, like picking up trash. She showed me where they got fresh water from and where all the buckets were kept. There was a small fountain and bathroom connected to the golf course not too far inside the woods where the spigot was. I peed for the first time as a girl, which felt strange. Outside the bathroom, the golf course looked mostly abandoned from the view of it near the bathrooms. Either abandoned or unkempt. When they guys came back they all whistled at me and congratulated Hammer on bringing in another "doe." He had to correct them and remind them that I wasn't a doe yet. After the excitement died down, everyone started getting their plates of food ready. Hammer came up to me and put his hand on my shoulder. "Apple, show me your little tattoo." I pulled my shorts down and showed him the light green apple with a bite taken out of it that Lotus had tattooed right above my vagina. It had hurt at first, but I got used to it until it felt like a tickle. While she was doing the work, she told me all about her other ideas. Her favorite one was to do lots of apple tree branches with apples and blossoms all over my back. I really liked my little apple tattoo. I think because of where it was it reminded me a lot of how different I was now. "Perfect." He started looking at my torso and said, "I knew they were going to be big, but your tits look fucking great, Apple. Shit. You must have some good genes for tits. I underestimated that a bit." He laughed. "They feel good. Thank you." I liked how they felt when I touched them and it made me happy that the other girls were jealous. "Mhm. Look, why don't you make a plate of food for Hunter over there? He looks lonely." I went and put some barbeque on a plate with some cornbread and green beans, then grabbed a can of beer and brought it to Hunter who was sitting by himself on one of the wood log pieces farther away. As I approached, he looked at me and took a deep breath. "Hunter, I got you some food." He took it from me and looked at me for a while. He seemed pissed. He drank the beer in one long sip and then tossed the can away. I sat down next to him. He had a couple of weeks' worth of beard growth which made his jaw look really strong, this was emphasized even more because he was mad about something. His sharp brown eyes were too upset to maintain eye contact for long. "Are you okay?" I asked, knowing he wasn't. I thought about him holding me and picking me up in the tent. I felt close to him. "I'm pissed but I probably shouldn't be. It's just the way this shit goes, I guess." He looked at me and sighed. "I'm new to this crew, so I'm finding out some stuff as I go along. I've run with a few other crews, and they all had their occasional fucked up shit, so I shouldn't be surprised." He looked me and seemed to relax a bit. "Ever heard the phrase 'be careful what you ask for'?" "Yeah, I've heard that. What did you ask for?" I leaned back on the seat. I wanted Hunter to look at my body and I could see him glancing at it. He smiled and leaned his head back. "I'll tell you later. How old are you, Apple?" "18." "Do you know how old I am? I'm 37. Isn't that old?" I thought about it. "I guess. You don't look that old, though. Some of the other guys look way older." He sharply exhaled air. "What do you think of all the other guys here?" "They seem okay. They're all interesting. You're pretty interesting too." He raised his eyebrows and said, "You think I'm interesting?" "Yeah. Like, I want to know what you're thinking." He looked at my eyes and squinted, "Apple, I know you Switched, but do you feel different? Do you think differently now or something?" "Umm. I don't know. While I was Switching everything felt really confusing and I had a hard time concentrating, but I can at least talk now. I am having a hard time remembering things from before a couple days ago, but I don't feel nervous or weird about it. It's like I just don't care about my past very much. I know I feel better how I am now." Hunter looked troubled, but he responded with, "Right. I get that. I've burned bridges and pulled up stakes a thousand times over. There is no greater feeling than starting fresh, but... it's a lonely life." I smiled. "I don't feel lonely at all. I spent all day with Lotus and Tulip and the other girls. I got my first tattoo. Do you want to see?" "Sure." I stood up in front of him and pulled my shorts down so he could see my apple but I let them go down farther than I had when I showed Hammer. I wanted Hunter to see everything. He looked away and then up at me. I made a pout and he looked down at my crotch. When I had been a guy I knew I was getting turned on when I got hard, but now that I was a girl I couldn't tell that way. But I could tell just by feeling. I "knew" and right now I knew I was getting turned on by showing him my pussy. "That's a nice one. Lotus is going to do them all over you, too?" "Yeah." I pulled my shorts up reluctantly and sat back down. While Hunter ate his dinner I told him about all the plans Lotus had for designs. As Hunter was finishing up his meal, I saw the gang leader approaching with a big grin. "Nice to see you two getting along. Apple, I'm going to borrow you for a bit for the next step in the initiation, then I'll bring you right back to Hunter, 'kay?" Hunter looked away from both of us and I couldn't see his expression. I got up and followed Hammer as he walked back to the campfire. He put his hand on the lower part of my back and said, "Apple, I'm not going to lie. None of the girls liked this next part, but it's the rules." He whistled and the rest of the guys stood up. "Let's go, assholes." A couple of them, Ugly Frank and Spider, were grinning at me. The rest were just sort of shrugging. Hammer said, "Follow me," and I walked behind him as he walked towards the beach away from the campsite. He put his hand on me again and said, "I like you, girl. Usually this shit is a surprise, but I'm gonna go ahead and tell you the good news. I saw the way you and Hunter were talking. That makes me feel real good see, because I'm giving you to him later tonight. That's the final bit of the initiation. That's why I invited you into the group to begin with. I knew you'd be just right for that guy and he needed a doe. I was tired of looking at his lonely face. How about that, Apple?" "You mean I'm gonna stay with him like Lotus does with you?" "Mhm." "That sounds nice. Thank you." He rubbed my back a little. I knew I couldn't stay with him and Lotus forever, and Hunter was definitely the most interesting guy in the gang. I thought about when I'd shown him my tattoo and thought that I really wanted to try having sex with him. I wouldn't know what to do, but if he wanted to try I would. "Before that happens though, all of the other guys in the gang, including me, are gonna lay a blanket down on the beach and get a piece of your ass." I stopped walking. "What?" Hammer looked at me. "Don't 'what' me, Apple. You heard. Now I know you Switched and like dick now, so don't act all high and mighty." I felt scared. "But I've never done it before. Does it hurt? There's so many of you..." "It only hurts at first. Most of these guys probably won't even do too much. Their does have got them pussy-whipped so bad they can't even enjoy the initiation. Shit! I live for it, Apple. Now c'mon." I started walking but my legs were wobbly. He was right, I mean about me liking guys now. I could tell that had changed when I was flirting with Hunter. But this seemed so wrong. "Let me ask you something, Apple. What is so crazy about having sex with a stranger? Or more than one guy? Women do it all the time. Do you ever really know a person? No, you don't, you never do. The trust you feel for a person close to you is in many ways an illusion. You will never have sex with someone that isn't on some level a stranger." "Yeah, I guess." "Mhm. Also, how many sexual partners do you think a woman has in her life? On average a dozen, maybe more. If I give you to Hunter tonight and you're never with another man other than him, that would only put you right at average. Does it make that much of a difference if it's all at once?" I shook my head. I guess he was right and anyway I knew I had to go through with it. The rest of the girls had. "How long will it take?" He took a deep breath. "That depends on a couple of things, but not too long I don't think." We were now far enough away from the campsite that I could barely make out figures there against the fire when I looked back. I thought about all the other girls. Had this been a secret from them too? As Hammer waved to the other guys and put a large towel down, I tried not to make eye contact with anyone. Crow, one of the older guys, said, "You offer a blindfold, Hammer?" "Aww shit, she doesn't need no blindfold." That was Ugly Frank. Spider high-fived him. I decided that I definitely needed a blindfold. "I'd really like one." Crow walked towards me with what looked like a torn sleeve and motioned for me to turn around. I did and he wrapped the blindfold around my eyes and tied it really tight. I couldn't see anything out of the top or bottom. I felt a hand guiding me forwards and then the towel beneath my feet. I felt large hands pulling my shorts down and my bikini top off. The hands felt rough, which meant it could have been anyone, but I also felt that the forearms were thin and muscular. Not all the guys were thin. I knew Crow was and a couple of the other guys, like Max and Spider. I felt the man start kissing me and touching me between my legs. I thought about Hunter and started kissing him back. Maybe that's how I could get through this, if I just imagined this was all me and Hunter. The idea of it made me wet and the man started playing with my breasts and kissing my nipples. It struck me as odd that nobody was talking. I heard some breathing and the occasional cough, but that was it. Another person's hand came up behind me and started squeezing my pussy between my legs. His finger felt good and I arched my back a little bit so it would slip inside me. I thought about how nice it would be if Hunter were to do this. After the man's finger was in me, I heard someone standing around say, "Damn!" I'm pretty sure it was Ugly Frank. While I was being played with in the front and back, I felt another man grab my waist from the side and start kissing me after I turned my head towards him. The man behind me went down and started licking the lips of my vagina, which felt really good. I started catching my breath while being kissed because of the sensations. The man in front of me started taking off his clothes and I felt him take my hand and guide it to his penis. I took it in my hand and started stroking it a little. It was already hard. The man who was kissing me from the side pulled away and started gently pushing my head down, so I went down on my knees. The man in the front started coming closer with my hand around his cock, and eventually put it right against my mouth. I thought about watching Lotus sucking Hammer last night and tried to picture Hunter. I put his cock in my mouth and I heard him exhale air. For some reason I could tell it was Crow from the way that it sounded. I knew they would all get a turn, but it was still a little odd to know which one was there. I didn't really know what to do with the sucking, so I just pretended it was like a push-pop that I couldn't bite down on. I had barely started sucking on it when he pulled out and I felt some warm liquid on my chest. The man who had been beside me had been rubbing my head the whole time I was sucking Crow's dick. The guy behind me bent me over and spread my legs, I felt him slowly entering me and once he was almost all the way in I felt a sharp pain. He put his hands around my hips and pulled me closer to him and the pain made my body jerk. It felt kind of good, too. Like a nice pressure pushing against my insides. He started slowly going back and forth and the pain subsided. For the first time I really took notice of how big my boobs were as they swung around. Thankfully, the man behind me grabbed them and held firm. The kissing man to my side came around to the front and I felt his penis against my face. I was propping myself up on all fours so I couldn't use my hands, but I took it into my mouth and sucked on it. The man behind me started speeding up and I moaned from the feeling. "This isn't so bad," I thought. I felt that he was a pretty muscular guy from the grip. He stopped and I felt something warm inside me. As soon as he pulled out, I felt some juice dribble out. The guy in front of me started hitting the back of my throat and it was more like he was trying to fuck me in my mouth than I was sucking him. As I thought, "I prefer the other way" I felt him shoot some warm goo. He pulled out and it took me a few tries to swallow it because it was sticky. I felt a hand on my ass as another guy got up behind me and stuck his cock in me. He was done in just a few pumps. Instead of cumming in me, he pulled out and did it on my back. ~ At some point, I lost count of the guys taking turns with me from the front and behind. I know there are only eleven bikers, I counted before it started, but it felt like more. Maybe some were going twice. I could tell a few of them had bigger bellies so those were probably the guys whose names I didn't know. I wondered who Hammer was talking about when he said some of the guys were, "pussywhipped." My back was covered in their cum. I thought about what Hammer had said, about how having all those guys at once was the same as spreading them out. That was completely wrong. I was already sore down there and it wasn't getting any better. I felt a man grunt and get down next to me. I couldn't see anything, so I didn't know what he was doing, but he lifted me up on top of him. I could tell that he was lying on his back on the towel. His penis was hard against my vagina in this position. He pushed his cock into me and started lifting me up by the arms to ride it. It felt huge and hurt a little bit. I squealed for the first time. "Big ain't it girl." I could tell from the voice it was Ugly Frank. I whimpered a little. I was losing my nerve and ready for this to be over. "Apple, it's almost over. You're doing great." I heard Hammer say. I didn't really know what I was "doing" that was so great, but it was nice to hear that it was almost over. I was ready to go back to the relaxing and calm camp and be with all the nice girls. I wouldn't even care that all the guys there had fucked me. I just hoped Hunter wouldn't hate me for it. The thought made me sick to my stomach. Ugly Frank was taking a lot longer than everyone else. He was playing with my ass and tits a lot. I thought about what Lotus had done in this position and blanked my mind. I remembered that my plan was to pretend I was with Hunter. I was on top of Hunter and I wanted him to be happy. I put my hands on Hunter's stomach and started working my hips back and forth. I started getting wet which made the soreness go away. Hunter tweaked my nipples a little bit which got me wetter. I moaned as I worked his cock back and forth inside me, making it hit some nice deep spots. His hands gripped me tightly around the waist and I could tell he wasn't going to be able to hold out very long. A wave of his cum went into me, though I could tell he was trying to hold back. I smiled but snapped back to reality after Ugly Frank said, "Holy fuck, girl!" I pulled myself off of him and stood up, feeling his cum drip out onto my thigh. "Am I done yet? Please, say yes," I said to the darkness. "Just about, Apple. You can take your blindfold off now." I felt someone untying it in the back and when it came off I saw Ugly Frank pulling his jeans up. I looked back at Hammer who was completely nude and hard. Ugly Frank said, "Apple, you're gonna have to teach Ivy some of that shit. I have never in my life had pussy that good. Goddamn." I frowned at him. It wasn't him that I was having sex with, it was Hunter. As Ugly Frank walked away, it was just me and Hammer. I assumed everyone else had left when they finished with me. "What's next?" "I'm going to fuck you, Apple. But I like doing it in the ocean during the initiation." Somehow I knew that none of the men who had been screwing me was Hammer. "Isn't it really cold?" It was almost October, though the weather was always nice around here the water got pretty cold at night. "It's cold. But I created you, so I get to properly baptize you. Come on." He took me by the hand and led me towards the water. "You made me very happy just then, Apple. When I watched you riding Ugly Frank, I thought 'she's going to be very happy in this new life.' Aren't you, girl?" "Yeah, I was thinking about Hunter when I did it. I think I kind of understand why this is the initiation. I thought about it during." I paused for a while. "It's like this whole group is based on sex, isn't it? You wanted me in the group to give Hunter a doe. It's like he's not really part of the gang if he doesn't have one. But you can't just go around giving women away, there has to be a catch." "Apple, you are blowing my mind. I think you're the only girl who figured that shit out. Let's just keep it our secret, okay? The others might not see the big picture like you do." I wouldn't say anything. Well, maybe I would to Hunter, but he probably had this figured out already. That's right, he was pissed earlier. I bet it was because of this. He knew they were all going to fuck me before I became his. I wonder how long they'd gone without a new girl. Had Hunter done any initiations? The idea of it bothered me. It upset me that I might be making some of the other girls jealous. Earlier, when they were saying, "we all did this" maybe it was more to make them feel better about me having sex with their bucks than the other way around. "Hammer, sex makes things so complicated." He smiled at me. "Sometimes. Sometimes it's just good sex. Go on and get in the water." It was really cold, but it actually felt good against my body. I guess I kind of overheated a bit during the sex. The water splashed against me as I got deeper, and when I was about waist deep Hammer splashed me. I gasped because the cold water hitting my boobs was shocking. "So cold!" Hammer laughed and splashed me again. "Apple, let me know when you're ready." I sighed and bit my lip. He had been hard the whole time. I was kind of waiting for it to go soft but it didn't. At least it wasn't Ugly Frank. "I'm ready." He quickly walked near me and kissed me, he was about thigh deep in the water. He then forced my head under the water and then brought me back up. "You are now baptized as my creation, Apple." I snorted a dribble of saltwater out of my nose then he picked me up by the ass and spread my legs in mid-air. I felt the head of his penis against my vagina and he kissed my lips as he slowly penetrated me. He forced my body against him getting deep inside me. I felt his long beard against my face as he started fucking me hard. In a flash Hammer finished inside me and held me close. He kept the same expression he had when he was having sex with Lotus. Like I was serving him and he was deciding if he was pleased or not. In a way, he was right: I was his creation. I felt him go soft and he put me down into the water, then led me back to the shore by hand. "Apple, did you know that mankind only recently discovered the usefulness of monogamy? You can tell by the shape of the penis that polyamorous practices were such an integral part of our species' existence that it altered our very genes. The end of the penis has a part called the 'glans' which evolutionary theorists think might serve as a 'scoop' to remove previously deposited semen from of the vagina. What that means is that there's a part of my cock that is only there for one purpose: to get rid of the jizz those other guys put in you." I absorbed the idea and asked, "Hammer, can I get pregnant?" "Probably not. I inhibited the release of eggs in your body. Actually, that might go away with time. I can see the body tricking itself into maturing that way. I've been doing this for five years and no girls have gotten pregnant yet." When we got to the towel Hammer shook the sand off of it and then quickly dried himself. He put his jeans back on while I dried my body and my hair. I put on my top and my shorts though I still didn't mind being naked. As we walked back to the camp I felt like I had a very different perspective on things. I used to be intimidated by guys like this, but now they seemed needy. Some of them, anyway. I think a few of the guys were just as uninterested in the initiation sex as I had been. As I walked back into camp about half a dozen of the girls I'd spent the day with met me and hugged me. I started crying, not from the gross sex, but because they made me feel so good by being there for me. ~ After the reunion with the girls, I went with Tulip and Lotus to the nearest beach shower where I gave myself a good scrubbing and put on some new clothes, my camo shorts and shirt. As we walked back, the other girls asked me about what happened. "Was anyone rough with you?" Lotus sounded concerned. "No. Even if they had been, I wore a blindfold so I didn't know who was doing what." I looked at Tulip and thought about how I did recognize her buck Crow as the first one who finished, but I decided to keep that to myself. He probably wanted to get it over with the fastest. I bet he and Tulip are really close. "Most of them were pretty gentle. Ugly Frank went at it for a while. I could tell it was him because he talked a lot." Tulip rolled her eyes. Lotus looked at me sweetly and said, "Ivy was the last one to join before you and she's his doe. This was Ugly Frank's first time doing the initiation." "He's an idiot, Lotus." Lotus frowned. "Just remember, Apple: You only have to listen to two people in the gang and that's Hammer and your buck." Tulip yelped, "And Lotus!" Lotus shrugged. "You know, you're lucky Apple. Hunter is a good looking guy. Lily and Violet got Hank and Smitty." I assumed those were the fat guys. "Yeah." Tulip gently touched my arm. "Oh hey, tomorrow you get your doe tattoo. Look at mine." She turned her back towards me and in the moonlight I made out 'Crow's Tulip' written on her top right shoulder. I looked at her and my eyes started watering. "What's wrong? Apple, what's wrong?" She hugged me. "Do you all hate me now? Because of what I had to do with Crow and Hammer and all of them." I was sobbing. The idea of them hating me was more than I could bear. "No, Apple no." Lotus hugged me from the other side. "Yeah, we understand. I told Crow to just do it and get his ass back to camp," she chuckled. I wiped my eyes and said, "Okay." Before we got back I said, "For a minute when we were out there, I imagined that I was with Hunter and it felt really good. Like, it felt good to be a girl, and having sex. I know my body changed but it's so weird that my mind did too." Lotus said, "I'm really happy that that worked out like it did." I felt like she was choosing her words carefully. Tulip brightened and said, "Oh, it gets so much better." As we got back to the campfire I made a beeline to Hunter but he didn't look up at me as I approached and I saw him tense up. I figured he must think I'm pretty disgusting. I sat down near him and looked around at everyone else. Th