Being Me Part 3 A Cruise Diary
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Being Me
By Karin Roberts
The Cruise - Voyage of Discovery
Cruise Diary - Day 5
I woke with a slight start a noise outside in the corridor, it passed. I
looked at the clock just gone 8am.
Yesterday had been a strange day it had started so well, I had really
been looking forward to Cadiz and my trip ashore. The end though with
Mhari confirming her knowledge of my true gender had knocked me a bit
sideways.
We had come back to the ship by taxi from our visit to Santa Catalina
Castle, there was little in the way of conversation and only a brief hug
goodbye once we re-boarded the ship. I had intended to go back to my
cabin and freshen up before dinner I mean I had eaten nothing all day.
Back in the cabin I had flicked through the TV channels finally finding
BBC News and managed to catch a brief segment which said that Dad's case
was still on-going and that the police were following a new line of
enquiry. I so hoped that he would get a happy ending to it and find the
two missing girls.
I sat on the bed tiredness seemed to sweep over me I lay down for a few
seconds just to rest a little, maybe it was the stress of my showdown
with Mhari or indeed just the events of the last 5 days that were
catching up with me but sleep came quickly. It was about 4 hours later
when I woke up again I looked at the clock, it was nearly 10pm too late
for dinner now but I was famished. I looked around the room managed to
come up with a couple of packets of those little complimentary biscuits,
I made a coffee and ate the biscuits.
I finished the night by popping out on deck for a cigarette there was a
slight chill in the air I could see some lights on the shoreline as the
ship sailed on having left Cadiz. I lit my cigarette and leaned over the
rail of the ship, I'm not sure why but emotion took over and I could
feel myself start to cry. I must have been sobbing a bit too loud
suddenly a male voice said, "Are you ok dear?"
I turned a middle aged couple stood in front of me, my hand went to my
eye's it wiped away a tear I could see a mascara smudge on my finger.
"Eh, yes, I'm fine, eh boyfriend trouble," I quickly spouted out
thinking on my feet.
"Oh we all have that dear," the lady said. "I mean look at what I ended
up." With she said she jokingly said nudging her husband.
"Yeah that's right you girls stick together," he said.
"No I'm fine really thanks for stopping," I said.
"If your sure then," she said.
"Yeah I'll be fine, have a good night," I said as they started back on
there way along the deck.
I took a final drag of my cigarette and extinguished it and headed back
to my cabin, half an hour later I was back in dreamland.
.......................................................................
................................................
I lay there thinking about what Mhari had said to me yesterday, I was
confident that she would keep my secret to herself and that she would
still be a friend for the rest of the trip. But everything she had said
was correct here I was living the dream, something that I could never
have thought possible just ten days ago. Up until then there had been
snatched opportunities to let Tracey out of her box. Now here was Tracey
living a day to day life and I was letting Avril ruin part of it for me.
At best I probably had 3-4 days left before Tracey would be packed away
back into her box and who knows when she would be let back out again.
Probably never in as up front a setting as this so it was time to get on
with it and make the most of the next few days.
I slipped out from the warm covers and pulled the small nightdress I was
wearing over my head dropping it on top of the bed. I looked down at the
body I had been living in for the last few days the breasts that would
soon be gone, today was a new day. I opened my drawer and took out some
fresh plain undies, on the radiator by my bed was a sports bra I had
washed it was dry so I pulled it over my chest and then looked for a top
and shorts for today's gym visit. Once dressed I freshened up my
appearance in the mirror a quick brush of my hair, tie it back into it's
pony tail and then grabbing a towel and a water bottle I left the cabin
to begin a new day.
The gym was quiet on arrival I filled my water bottle from the cooler in
the corner and began with some stretching exercises before I did 10
minutes or so on some weights before heading out into the morning sun.
Mhari had already beaten me too it and was on the small track I waved
across as she made her way round to me.
"Morning you ok?" I asked as I joined her on her run.
"Yeah fine you sleep ok?" she asked.
"Yeah I just flaked out when I got back to the room, dunno must have
been all of yesterday getting to me."
"Well you know you can trust me?" she asked.
"I know and thanks, and you were right I am letting Avril ruin it a bit
but no more."
"Good girl now let's pick up the pace a bit and I will race you a couple
of laps." With that she was off and I was left to catch her up.
.......................................................................
..........................................................
Our workout for the day complete I left Mhari agreeing to meet in a
couple of hours to do some sun worshipping up by the pool on the top
deck. I took a quick shower back in the cabin and changed into a tight
yellow one piece swimsuit. I pulled a pair of white linen shorts over it
and then tidied up my hair and make up, before slipping on a pale yellow
sun shirt leaving it open at the front I stepped into a pair of flat
sandals and picked up my bag and a novel and headed for breakfast.
I spotted Mom and Avril as soon as I stepped out of the cabin.
"You going for Breakfast?" I called.
"Yes dear, want to join us?"
I nodded and followed them along the deck till we reached one of the
numerous resturants that opened for breakfast. We waited in line while
several other passengers made their choice from the self service buffet
that was available. I picked up a tray and took a small box of breakfast
cereal with a carton of milk, there were small bowls of freshly cut
fruit so I helped myself to a bowl with peaches and pears in it before
taking a yoghurt and a bottle of water. The three of us walked over and
took a table at the front of the restaurant overlooking the front of the
ship. From there you could see the power of the ship white waves
spreading off each side as it cut its way through the water.
"What did you get up to last night Avril?" asked as she opened her
cereal.
"Actually it was pretty boring I was so tired after Cadiz I just fell
asleep in the room and by the time I woke up it was too late to do
anything, what did you do?"
"Not a lot, had a few drinks, had a few more, picked up a couple of guys
and had wild passionate sex," Avril said.
I almost choked on my first spoonful of breakfast.
"Ignore her Tracey, we just had dinner and a couple of glasses of wine,"
Mom said drawing a smirking Avril a look as she squeezed my hand.
"So what are you up to today?" Mom asked.
"Just chilling on the sun deck with Mhari, nothing much what about you
two?" I asked.
"Don't know maybe catch a movie or have a swim, you joining us for
dinner tonight?"
"Maybe I'll let you know later on," I said finishing of my breakfast I
picked up my dishes and got up. "Enjoy your movie or swim I'll catch you
both later," I went on.
"Ok have a good day," Mom said as I walked off.
Leaving my dishes on the server, I headed back to my room stopping off
for a cigarette I eventually gpot back to my room and flicked on the TV
looking for an update on Dad's case there was nothing so I switched off
the TV and picking up a novel I had been reading I dropped it in my bag
and grabbed a towel before heading to the sundeck to meet Mhari.
The sun deck was crowded already by the time I got there I spotted Mhari
near the back and went to join her. She was already relaxing on a sun-
lounger.
"Hi babes here I reserved you a lounger," she said as I got to her.
"Thanks it's busy up here," I said.
I sat down and slipped of my shirt and dropped it on the lounger,
standing I unbuttoned the shorts and stepped out of them before folding
both garments and storing them under the lounger with my bag I kept the
towel and my novel with me before settling back on the warm canvas.
"Let's hope it's a nice quiet day," I said.
"I'll second that," Mhari said as we began our day of relaxation.
.......................................................................
The day passed exactly as we had planned, a couple of trips over to the
bar to collect cool drinks and some ice cream otherwise we spent the day
side by side. The events of yesterday were as if nothing had happened to
any onlookers watching on all they saw was two girls relaxing in the
sun, sometimes chatting sometimes quite but nothing other than that.
I glanced at my watch it was nearly half past three. I turned to look at
Mhari who had nodded off about 20 minutes ago.
"Mhari you awake?" I asked.
"Yeah sorry I just dozed for a bit there."
"Are we doing anything tonight?" I asked.
"Sorry babes I can't Dad has wangled us a place at the Captains Table
tonight so I'm booked for the evening."
"Oh very posh," I said reaching over and poking her in the arm with my
book.
"Yeah well what can I say, not that I'm looking forward to it that much
mixing with a few snobs probably over dressed and talking rubbish but
there we go."
"So we will still be ok for our trip tomorrow?" I asked nervously.
"Yeah don't worry I'll be good and won't overdo the free wine, I'll get
you at our the usual place. Have you seen or heard from Chris about
tomorrow?" she asked.
"No I think I saw him over by the Bar earlier today"
"You looking forward to it?" she asked shielding her eyes from the sun
as she looked over at me.
"In a way," I said.
"Well just remember play it cool, he has no idea about you and
personally I think you should keep it that way if you know what I mean."
"I intend to, just a day ashore with friends, nothing more," I said.
Mahri stretched and got up from the lounger.
"I better make a move, need to make myself look glamerous for tonight,"
she said striking a little pose as she picked up her towel and water
bottle.
"Well enjoy your night and I'll see you tomorrow," I said as she
playfully blew a kiss at me and walked towards the staircase back to her
deck.
I stayed on for another half hour or so before heading back to my cabin
I guess it was a night with Mom and Avril for me.
Opening the cabin door I stepped inside not noticing a first a piece of
paper lying on the floor. I dropped my stuff on the bed and looked in
the mirror untying my pony tail I ran my fingers through my hair and
yawned it had not been a energetic day but sometimes the sun drains you
of energy.
Turning I spotted the folded bit of paper I picked it up and opened it.
Hi Princess
Saw you on deck today catching some sun you looked hot !!!
Looking forward to our day out tomorrow, as you know crew and passengers
are not really supposed to mix so I will meet you on shore.
There is a Bar not that far from the dock it's called "La Fonda" if you
need to ask directions it's at Del Port Olympic by the Mal De Mestral. I
will meet you there around 11.00.
See you then Princess.
Chris xxx
I pushed the not into a drawer and began to undress in one way I was
looking forward to tomorrow in another I was apprehensive. At least
though I would have Mhari there as chaperone so if anything got out of
hand I did have some back-up. For now though it was time to get ready
and a night of putting up with Avril.
.......................................................................
After a shower I pulled on a pair of shorts and a teeshirt and padded
across the corridor to check on Mum and Avril. I knocked on the door
there was no answer I tried the handle it was open. Pushing open the
door I stepped inside.
"Mum," I called out.
The bathroom was just on your right as you walked in I could hear water
running the shower probably.
"Mum you in there," I called again.
"Yes dear just taking a shower have a seat I'll be out in a couple of
minutes."
I walked into the room the two single beds were off to the right,
lingerie was strewen across both beds, I sat down picking up a couple of
pieces and folding them they didn't look like Moms probably Avril I
thought as the bra looked too big for Mum I sat and waited.
A few minutes later Mum appeared a towel wrapped around her body and
head.
"You ok?" she asked as she crossed over and placed a kiss on my
forehead.
"Yeah fine, I just wanted to find out when you were going up to dinner
tonight, Mhari is having dinner at the Captains Table tonight so...."
"Oh very nice," Mum said as undid the towel around her head and began to
dry her hair.
"Me and Avril are going to go along to that old fashioned theme pub in
the Mall, they do some traditional British dishes so we figured we would
try it out and then have a few drinks then maybe head up to the top deck
bar for another couple before bed."
"Fine by me," I said as I heard the door opening and Avril stepped
inside.
"Traceys going to join us tonight," Mum said turning to look at Avril as
she walked across the room.
Avril just smiled and sat on the other side of the bed from me.
"We will see you at the Mall around 8," Mum said.
"Yeah no problem I'll go and relax a bit then meet you there," I said
rising from the bed I walked across the room.
"Ok see you then dear."
Leaving the cabin I checked my watch I had at least an hour or so to
spare before I needed to get ready, I grabbed my purse and cigarettes
from my room and slipping on some sandals set off to call Dad.
After a quick cigarette I found the phone booths and put in a call back
home the phone rang.
Dad answered some noise in the background voices a male then a female.
"Dad you ok, it's Michael," I said.
"Yeah fine champ," whose there I asked.
"Just me and a few other officers we came home to grab a bite to eat
before going back in," he said.
"Any progress," I asked.
"Can't say anything mate just lets say I'm a bit happier today than I
was yesterday I have a feeling this might be over soon."
"Good."
"You having a good time on holiday."
"Yeah it's been cool, I'm just about to head back to get ready for
dinner," I said.
"Well you keep those two in check," he said as the noise in the
background got a bit louder.
"I will, and good luck hope you get a result soon," I said.
"So do I mate so do I now take care that's another couple of my guy's
turned up so I better get back to the kitchen before they clean me out."
"Ok Dad take care," I said putting the receiver back.
I strolled along the deck for a few minutes then headed back to the
cabin. What would my night with Avril be like tonight.
.......................................................................
Back in my cabin I got ready for the night ahead, I stripped out of my
underwear and found a fresh pair of white cotton panties I pulled them
up my smooth legs and sat at the dresser. I had already decided on my
dress for the night. Mom's thoughtfulness before the holiday meant that
the red dress I had so lusted after all those weeks back at home was in
my case and now safelty in my wardrobe.
I applied some fresh foundation and a liberal dusting of some powder.
It's amazing how quickly you can apply make up when you become more used
to it. Fifteen minutes later I had quite dramatically outlined my eyes
and used two colours of blue eyeshadow to blend a nice evening look. My
lashes were coated in mascara and my lips a scarlet red as I finished
off by coating my lips with some light clear gloss. I took a bottle of
matching red nail varnish from my make up bag and began painting my
extended nails, another 15 minutes and nails dry it was time to get
fully dressed.
The dressed slipped on a bit easier than my first wearing which was
probably down to the increased exercise I had recently and the fact that
I had been eating mostly rabbit food on this voyage. I closed the clasp
at the neck and tied the tiers leaving a couple of inches to drop down
my bare back. I adjusted the front to ensure that I was covered down
there. This dress did not allow for a bra so it was important I was
adequetley covered. Happy with the look I selected a pair of red three
inch heels (another of my Mom's thoughtfull purchases) and pulled them
on to my feet standing I straightened the front of the dress as it fell
to an inch or so above my ankles.
Picking up a black leather clutch bag I dropped in my cigarettes plus a
fresh pack my lighter and a few make up items so that I could freshen up
during the night, the last being a rather nice perfume Mum had provided
which I liberally sparyed over my neck and wrists before dropping it in
the bag.. I was ready for the evening ahead, flicking off the light
switch I closed the cabin door and headed towards the Mall to meet Mum
and Avril.
I stopped outside the Mall for a quick cigarette before stepping inside,
it didn't take me long to locate Mom and Avril in a traditional English
style Pub. Mom waved from both by the back as I walked over to join
them. Drinks were already on the table as I arrived.
"Can I get you both another drink?" I asked as I reached the table.
"No I'll get you one," Mom said rising from her seat she passed me on
route to the bar.
I slid into the booth Avril opposite me.
"That's a nice dress, it suits you," Avril said smiling at me.
"Thanks," I replied.
"I'm sure I've seen you wear it before," Avril said another smile
breaking out on her face.
I blushed, FUCK, I mean how stupid could I have been thinking back to
that day a couple of month's ago when Avril walked in on me. I mean life
is bad enough with her around without actually giving her bullets to
fire !
I ignored it as Mom arrived back and placed a large glass of white wine
in front of me I mumbled my thanks and took a drink from the glass.
"Let's get something to eat, I'm famished," Mom said as she signalled
for a waiter to come over.
The meal passed of quite normally after that I had a fantastic steak
which crumbled in my mouth as I ate it. The conversation had been ok no
more jibes just normal dinner talk as we enjoyed our meal. A few drink's
later we were ready to move on and we all left the bar to head upstairs
to one of the bar / clubs.
"The Gallery Club" was on the fourth deck right at the front of the ship
it was quiet when we arrived a few empty tables and with hardly anyone
occupying the small dance floor. We chose our table and I visited the
bar to get some drinks. Except for Avril's one jibe earlier the night in
truth was going reasonably well soon though that was to change.
We had been there around an hour and were on our second drink when Avril
managed to catch the eye of two gentlemen sitting at a table close by.
Soon they had joined us two Portugeasue business men on a week's break,
both of them I would have said were in their early forties and keen for
some company for the evening. Their command of English was superb so
there was problems with understanding they wanted to have some fun for
the night and at least from Avril's reception of them so did we !!
Quite a few drinks later Avril had herself perched on one of the guy's
knees the other was keeping me and Mom entertained with lot's of
conversation, while some of it was witty and interesting a lot of it
resolved around him and only him with little or no interest in us.
Suddenly he gripped my hand and pulled me upwards.
"We dance," he said pulling me gently towards the dance floor.
I resisted shaking my head but he insisted, soon I was on the small
dance floor as Madonna's "Crazy For You" echoed across the deck. His
hand rested on the small of my back as he guided me around the dance
floor the other gently holding my other hand as we moved to the music.
As the song went on I glanced across at Mom she had a look of thunder on
her face as she pulled a cigarette form her bag and lit it blowing smoke
in the night air. Something was wrong but what I was not sure was it
Avril's behaviour as by this time she seemed to be trying to climb into
the other guys ear or was it the fact that her son was being guided
around the floor by a guy and she was left out. The music was reaching
it's closing bars so before he had the chance to inisit on a repeat
performance I dropped turned and while still holding his hand led him
back to the table.
As we got back he insisted in buying another round of drinks I declined
the offer but he headed off anyway I sat down beside Mom.
"You ok?" I asked as another track started up.
"Yeah I'm fine darling," she replied crushing out her near finished
cigarette in the ashtray.
"Listen I'm going to go, me and Mhari are hitting the town tomorrow, I
suppose you two will be as well?" I asked.
"Yeah probably."
"Are you staying here?" I asked.
"For a little while someone's got to keep Avril in check," she said
looking over my shoulder.
"Yeah I suppose so," I said picking up my bag and rising from the table.
"I'll come in and see you in the morning," I went on. "Maybe we can have
breakfast"
"Ok we'll see, enjoy your day with Mhari if we don't make it," she said
as she got up and planted a kiss on my forehead.
I could see my dance partner begin to leave the bar and head back.
"Eh can you make my apologies for me?" I said to Mom nodding in his
direction.
"No problem dear you have a nice sleep and we will catch up tomorrow."
"Thanks," I said turning and heading towards the stairs I began to head
back towards my cabin. I made a brief stop on our deck for a final
cigarette of the evening staring out over the dark sea I thought about
tomorrow, glancing at my watch it was actually today. In a few hours I
would be going on my first date well Mhari was coming as well but Chris
was not really aware of that but it was a date of sorts and something
just a few weeks ago was a fantasy way beyond my wildest dreams. Taking
a final draw from my cigarette I extinguished it and walked back to the
cabin. Tomorrow was going to be a big day.
Jo
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