A West Village Tale free porn video

A West Village Tale I'll admit it. Greenwich Village rules my heart and soul. I'm never leaving and I'll tell you a tale that will explain why. A few years ago on an early November evening, I walked down Hudson toward Bleecker. I had just closed Sweet Seasons, the flower and gift shop I co-own on Christopher and was walking toward my flat on Ann Street. I saw a blur run from the east side of Bleecker barely missing an old woman and heading straight into the intersection against the light. It was a young boy, perhaps 6 or 7 in a blue hooded sweatshirt. He crossed the curb and was headed for no man's land. An SUV cabbie was still on the south side of the intersection but moving very fast. I broke in a run but there was no way I could make it in time. Luckily there was a woman I didn't see on the other side of the lamppost. She barely managed to snag the hood of the boy's sweatshirt and somehow was able to pull him back to the curb. It's New York, so no good deed goes unpunished. Finally, the boy's mother catches up and lashes out at the boy's rescuer, "Get your hands of my son, you weirdo! Now!" The Good Samaritan lost her balance and fell. Two people stepped over her before I could reach down to try to help her up. She reached for my hand but stopped suddenly and grabbed her right side just below the top of her skirt. She muttered, "Hurts." I'm no doctor but I once witnessed my older brother having an appendicitis attack. I took my Blackberry out of my purse and dialed 911 detailing what I saw. I knelt down to tell her help was on the way and she mouthed, "Thanks." It was then that I understood that horrible mother's weirdo reference. I could see by the stubble on the legs below the skirt,5 o'clock shadow on the face, and a male-looking unibrow that this was a transvestite, not a natural woman. She looked ragged. Her pink nail polish was half scraped off. The skirt was frayed around the hem. The ambulance came and loaded her. I asked where they were taking her. They said Saint Vincent's, just a half mile north of where we were. I told them I was her friend and wanted to ride with her and they loaded me in the back where I held her hand. I whispered to her to tell me her name. She said Mattie Dennison. I asked if that was spelled D-E-N-N-I- S-O-N and she nodded in the affirmative. I asked if she had insurance but she shook her head no. I just wanted to be prepared when l we got to the Emergency Room so there were no delays. Sure enough, when we got there, they started asking those questions so I spelled her name out for them. I didn't know her DOB or SS Number but they said they'd get it later. I hung around the hospital to make sure she was all right. A little after midnight, Mattie was on a gurney in the emergency room, half unconscious. I asked one of the nursing aides what they were going to do with her. They said they were going that they'd wait until she could sit in a wheelchair and then they would release her. I said they should admit her because she was in no shape to go home. She said that they couldn't because Mattie didn't have insurance. I asked if I made the financial arrangements, could Mattie be admitted overnight and checked thoroughly. She said she'd get someone to try to help me. Mrs. Nelson introduced herself as the Administrator on duty. She asked what my relationship was to Mattie and I said friend. She asked how long I'd known her and I said it's been awhile but I couldn't recall exactly how long. I signed a couple of forms and gave them my American Express card. It was 2:15 AM when Mattie was finally admitted. I didn't care how late it was. I had been very lucky throughout my life through the kindness of others and I was determined to pay that forward to another T-girl in need. Reflecting on My Youth I was born Sheldon, the third of three brothers, eight years younger than Alan, five years younger than David. My Mom carried me very high and she never got nearly as big as with my brothers so everyone thought I would be a girl even though they were never able to be certain with the ultrasound. There was something there that looked like it could be a penis but it wasn't clear and other readings were more consistent with me being born a girl, but I wasn't. I was small for a boy, just 6 pounds even. From the beginning, I was sickly, catching one illness after another. When I was four, my father gave me a tennis ball to play with and I drew a face on it. When my cousin Ellen came over with her dolls, she let me play with her old one while she played mommy to her new one. She enjoyed playing with me but I cried and cried when she took it back when her Mom took her home. This was a consistent theme throughout my youth. My father was a psychiatrist and my mother taught 5th grade. Before I ever started kindergarten, they started looking for signs that I was transgendered. They also told Alan and David they thought I was different and if I didn't want to play like normal boys, they should let me alone because I was delicate. They also asked them to look out for me and protect me no matter how weird I might act. In short, they realized before I knew it that I could well be transgendered and they were determined to get me the help I needed if that should turn out to be the case. Yes, I had just about the most supportive and progressive family in the world growing up although I certainly didn't understand that or appreciate it when I was going through it. In grade school, I wanted to wear my hair long and always hung out with the girls. I watched all the girls' cartoons, then make- up commercials, and was fascinated by fashion. Everybody called me Shelly and I just assumed I was a girl. My mom dressed me mostly in unisex clothes so I could get be perceived as either by those who didn't know me. She said it was the best way to avoid notice and keep me out of trouble. Again, I've been blessed and the older I get, the more I know it. So many transgendered children relate nightmarish accounts of not only rejection but brutality by their fathers. Dad was my biggest champion. He researched my situation with his colleagues and enrolled me in the United Nations International School (UNIS), an expensive but extremely highly regarded private school. It was originally established for the children of diplomats but its mission grew to include others for whom public education was inappropriate due to celebrity or relationship to a global problem. I was admitted under the latter criterion thanks to Dad who learned that they were accepting of admitting gender dysphoric students enrolling under their true identities at an early age. From 5th grade on, I went to school as Shelley and at 14, I started hormone treatments. I was monitored for the next 6 years to make absolutely sure that this is what I wanted. 5 days after my 21st birthday, I finally had my SRS but it seemed mostly like a long-awaited technical adjustment. No one who knew me had any doubts that I was all-girl, especially my very protective older brothers. Dad also arranged an investment trust to assure I would never hurt for money. As things worked out, a combination of manager skill and luck more than quadrupled the fund within 10 years, then we de-risked before the market tanked. Timing is everything. Again, I had a very fortunate life even though I never would be able to bear my own children. I was snapped out of my reminiscing by a nurse's aide telling me that I could visit Mattie in her room now. I entered. Although still logy, Mattie managed a weak smile. We exchanged introductions and pleasantries. She said that when she awoke, she was surprised to find out she was admitted when she didn't have insurance and they told her what I had done. She said she was grateful but wanted to know why I came to the aid of a complete stranger. I told her that when she saved that kid from injury, I felt a universal attachment to her that made her no longer a stranger. Then, I shared my personal story with her along with my determination to pay things forward in life. She smiled and chewed on that for a while. She asked me what I did and I told her about Sweet Seasons. She said that sounded interesting. Eventually, she was judged good enough to be released although she was anemic but not dangerously so, yet. She was given a list of foods and things to do to elevate her red blood cell count. It looked like she was just recovering from an attack of Hepatitis A but that it was in its final stage. I asked her if I could take a cab over to her place with her to make sure she was safe and didn't get dizzy. She replied that she had been staying at the 94th Street Y but they probably put her stuff out since it's been more than two weeks since she was able to pay to share a room there. I said that she must have checked in using her male identity. She gave me a puzzled look, but then nodded yes. Mattie Finds a New Home - for Now I told her that there was a small flat above the store and she could stay there for a week as long as she helped me out some at the store and followed certain rules. She said that was too generous and she would arrange to stay with friends but I was insistent. I proceeded to get her set up in the apartment to make sure she had everything she needed. Since she had only her purse with her, I told her I would go shopping for some essentials with her. But, I had to spend two hours down in the shop to check in with my co-owner Aunt Leah and our assistant manager Helen and to take care of some paperwork and finances. In the interim, I told her I'd order some groceries for her and make sure the boy stopped down at the shop so I could accompany him upstairs to her. She started to protest but she saw my determination and chuckled in her still-hoarse voice, "You're determined to be my fairy godmother, aren't you, Shelly?" I said "You betcha" and ordered some things on the phone asking her to shake her head if she didn't like something I was ordering. Since there were no such shakes, we were set. We went shopping, walking north to Soho, and cruised some of my favorite boutiques. We picked Mattie up some jeans, long-sleeve tees, comfortable shoes, a couple of nice skirts, a classic white blouse, and one sweater dress. We also picked up four days' worth of panties and bras figuring I could help her do a wash every fourth day or so. The look in her eyes was all the payment I needed. However, I could also see that she was getting pretty bad four o'clock shadow, let alone five. Going down the checklist, it was obvious that she hadn't gotten her hormones in at least four weeks if not longer. First thing I asked is for me to let me run her a bubble bath. Mattie said, "But, I'll be embarrassed. I'm..." I reassured her, "I know you are pre-op. Those hospital Johnnies keep no secrets. In my experiences, most sisters who lack funding are pre-op and remain that way a lot longer than they want to. Of course, others choose to keep their male packages while still maintaining the outward appearances of who they really are. I'm guessing you belong to the latter group, huh?" Mattie again looked a little confused, then nodded weakly. I continued, "Either way, you haven't had access to your hormones lately, huh? Let me make an appointment with my doctor for you. Until then, I'll give you some of mine. Tell you what - after you towel off and change into some new clothes and sneakers, come with me to my neighborhood, just a few blocks south. We'll have dinner at this terrific vegan burrito place, then I'll show you my apartment. Once we're there I'll give you a few doses to take back. I also have the spare key to this apartment, so I'll give you that." I could see Mattie flushed with embarrassment. "But Shelly," Mattie protested, "you know there's no way I can ever pay you back. You're spending a fortune on me in money and even more in your time and love. I don't deserve it." I countered, "I think that boy's guardian angel would disagree." Mattie retorted, still in a hoarse voice, "Yeah, but his mother wouldn't." Both of us giggled. I had so much fun with her that evening, especially when she saw I have a baby spinet. Her eyes lit up. I invited her to play it and for once she didn't hesitate. She played Rhapsody in Blue like a trained pro. When I yelled Bravo, instead of seeming embarrassed, she got boastful saying, "Shelly, you should see me on the sax, girl." I was surprised and elated by this side of her personality. I got on Google Maps on the computer to give her directions and a Map back to the apartment above the shop and the key. I offered to walk her back but she said she knew the village too and she'd be fine. However, when I came over to the apartment at 7:30 AM the next morning to see if she wanted some breakfast, her new clothes were all in black plastic bags - she had apparently picked a box of them up at a deli on the way home. Anyway, she looked ready to leave. I was pissed. "Mattie, I told you that you need not be embarrassed. I want you to feel at home here for a week while I try to find you a job." Mattie started crying, "Sorry, Shelly, I'm just... just so overwhelmed." I hugged and kissed her saying, "Honestly girl, I understand." Then I got an idea. "Look Mattie, if you're uncomfortable because you are thinking this is charity, I can let you work some of it off. Aunt Leah's feet have been sore lately. Why don't you come down with me and help out at the store. I'll show you what to do but maybe we'll be able to get Leah off her feet awhile. " Mattie nodded and we made our way to the store. I told Helen a bit of Mattie's background and that she would be staying upstairs for a week or two. Continuing, I explained that Mattie indicated she's feel better about our hospitality if she could help us out a bit at the shop especially since she's been out of work for a couple of months and could use a fresh start. Helen thought that was terrific and confessed that both Leah and she had been a bit under the weather this week and not feeling up to par. Before long, Mattie was sweeping the floor, bringing Helen needed supplies from the back, and answering the phone. I ran some errands and returned with a few salads for lunch at 1 PM and greeted Aunt Leah. She said that Mattie was a big help as two big orders came in that morning and having Mattie to handle the back-and-forth stuff and a bit of the paperwork allowed Leah and her to focus on the customers. I stayed and worked the afternoon. After work, Mattie seemed. She said she'd just have the left-over half of the sandwich she couldn't finish yesterday for supper. I smiled and said, "OK, I just don't want to see any more nonsense about you mooching and putting your stuff in plastic bags. It looks to me as if you can more that carry your weight around here until you get back to being your old self. Just you wait and see, everything happens for a reason." To the extent that is true, one reason Mattie came into my life was made all-too-apparent Saturday just before lunch. Helen had a dizzy spell and fell on the floor. It turned out to be a stroke. We closed for the afternoon and went to the hospital. We kept the shop closed Sunday morning instead of its usual 10 - 2 Sunday hours. Eventually, we were told Helen's condition was no longer life-threatening but parts of the left side of her face and her left arm would remain numb for the foreseeable future. She would be moved to the therapy wing of NYU hospital and stay there two weeks, then go back and forth as an outpatient. I arranged for any ancillary needs not covered by our medical plan to be paid by me. Helping Mattie Get Ready for Work Leah and I spent the rest of the afternoon formulating a plan. I committed to going back to working at the shop full-time. Not hard for me, because I so love making the arrangements which was also Helen's forte. I asked if she thought it would be a good idea to ask Mattie to commit to working full-time as our Gal Friday at least until Helen got back in two months. Leah said she liked Mattie but stated the obvious that Mattie would have to learn a lot in a short period of time. She also pointed out something I hadn't paid a lot of attention to. Mattie's voice was a bit gruff and even startling at times. I said I think that's just because of the appendectomy and being down on her luck without adequate means for two months but that I would work on it with her gently. Leah said that was fine since she liked Mattie and wanted her to succeed but urge me to remember this was a flower and gift shop that catered to delicate sensibilities and then opined that it would be great if Mattie could carry herself a bit more delicately, that sometimes she didn't seem very feminine. I double-checked with Leah, "You know she's a pre-op, right?" Leah replied, "Sure, and down here in the Village, just about everyone's fine with that. It's just that in some of the ways she does things, she seems even more boy than tomboy and most pre-ops over-compensate in accentuating the femininity in their manner. Anyway, you've been great with her. But if we're depending on her and you'll be here full-time, Shelly, I just want you to be aware." "Cool Aunt Leah. I'll take care of it. I also think we'll both feel easier if we had back-up. I'll put an ad in for someone with experience willing to work part-time." Leah flashed a smile of relief. Mattie, still overwhelmed by Helen's stroke, said she felt a little guilty. She said that maybe if she had done a better job, Mattie wouldn't have strained so much and could have avoided the stroke. Afgter an hour, I finally convinced her otherwise and asked if she were interested in the opportunity I outlined, saying she would get $600 gross salary of which $150 would be kept for room and board if that were agreeable and the flat, small though it was, would be her home for at least the next two months and probably beyond that if she opted to stay. I added that we only were looking for the two-month commitment and if she wanted to look for better things after that both Leah and I - and probably my brothers - would call our resources to see if we could find an opening that made sense. Mattie asked, "Shelly, could you possibly be any nicer or more thoughtful? Are you sure you're not wearing wings under there?" I said it's easy to be nice when you've been as lucky in life as I have been - getting 100% family support in aligning my body with my soul and winding up with millions of dollars I never worked for in addition to being half-owner of a flower shop that seemed to double its success from the day I walked into it. I conceded that I work hard but said that a lot of people do and never get the breaks in life I do. So, if the Lord could bless me like that, I feel it my mission on Earth to do that for others to the extent that a mere mortal can. She gave me a big hug and then a kiss. I kissed her back. This turned out to be one of several flirtations we would have during the next several weeks. We even messed around once with a sixty-nine but then started giggling with each other. Bottom line: we grew to love each other - but not in that way. You still always need sexual chemistry and what we had was clearly friendship chemistry. And once we got that out of the way, we became even tighter friends. She even saved up from her meager earnings to buy me a bottle of my favorite perfume and to bake me a cake for my birthday. I was moved to tears. Back to that afternoon, Leah's words came back into my head. I asked Mattie if she had been getting her hormones from the doctor I had set her up with, she said yes but she had missed a treatment. I told her she knew better than that. I also had noticed that her real hair was showing from under her wig and that she only seemed to have one wig and it was getting a bit mangy. I told her since she was representing the store, I wanted to get her two more wigs so she could switch off. I told her in the meantime, her own hair had suffered from lack of funds to groom it and I would like to take her for shampoo, set, mani, and pedi. Again she started to resist, "But Shelly, I really feel lie this is becoming..." Again I cut her off, "Look girl, you represent the store best when you feel confident in yourself. Besides I could you a total makeover too, so we'll do all these things together tomorrow night." She started to demur again but I silenced her with another kiss. She laughed, "OK< I know when I'm licked." At the store, and after three weeks of her full hormone and exercise regimen, Mattie was as graceful as I was and her manner of speaking had improved quite a bit in three key areas: cadence, breathiness, and choice of vocabulary. Pitch seemed like a lost cause. It was obvious that she had been a chain smoker and it occurred to me that I hadn't found any cigarettes in her purse, nor had I seen her smoke even once. She said she hadn't been able to afford one or even bum one in over a month. Then Mattie added, "I never thought I'd have the courage, willpower or stamina to quit once I had money to buy a pack again. I started to buy a pack at least three times, but then I thought you might be disappointed in me and the thought of disappointing you after all you've done made me stop even though I knew you would never say anything bad to me about it. In other words, quitting would never have been possible if not for you and your faith in me." Then she broke down in tears again and melted in my arms. Then she added, "I never forget that I'm just like a drug addict or alcoholic, you can quit and be a non-smoker or non-drinker for months but you can only stay that way one day at a time. Not one day passes that I still don't crave a smoke, but I don't and I know in my soul that if I keep doing that each day, I'll be okay. You know what? I also used to have about 3 bottles-worth per week, but now the only wine I've had are the glasses we've had together. Even there, you must have noticed a change. The first two times we had wine, I practical gulped down my glass in two shots. Now, I drink just like you, like a lady." Mattie smiled from ear to ear, beaming with pride. I melted. Trouble in Paradise? That week Leah and I hired Nivea to work 30 hours per week for us. Nivea was petite, under five feet, thin, and about 50 years old. She had penetrating brown eyes and beautiful flowing brown hair, extraordinarily think and shiny for a woman of her age. She had worked a floral shop up in Spanish Harlem for about 20 years before it went out of business last year. She was a whiz at arrangements but didn't like phone work or working the cashbox and that her sciatica made it difficult for her to bend or sweep. We figured there was no problem there because Mattie had gotten very good at all of those things and had even gotten good at baskets and simple arrangements but still had troubles with sprays and specialty arrangements. Everything was working out pretty well until this one Thursday. Leah had a bad infection and was home with a Z-pack. At about 11 AM, I had left to go over to Helen's who was back in her home and was due to be back from her morning therapy. I came back at 1:30 PM and the closed sign was up. When I used my key to get in, I found Nivea there alone with a frightened look on her face. I asked what was wrong. She said that Mattie had left at 12:30 to grab a salad. Nivea frantically recounted, faster and with a thicker accent than I had ever heard her speak, "Mattie said she'd be back in 15 minutes and asked if she could get anything for me and I said I brought my lunch. Then about 20 minutes later, a man bought a $15 bunch of tulips and handed me a $20 bill. When I opened the cash drawer, I found some singles - about 11 left after the five I handed the gentleman. The problem is there was nothing else, not even underneath where we usually keep the big bills. As the new girl, I thought I'd be the first one you'd suspect, so I locked up until you got back. As I said, Mattie was supposed to be back by 12:45, but I still haven't seen or heard from her. Please, Miss Shelly, you must believe me." I paused to take all of this in. I forced my best smile to my face. "I do believe you Nivea with no doubts in my head. It's Mattie I need to hear from. First of all, I'm worried that it's nearly an hour since she said she'd be back. That's never happened before. She's usually so prompt. Don't worry! I have 100% faith in her. I'm sure that there's a logical explanation for this. We'll just wait until we see her to find out what it is. I just hope no one hurt her." Sure enough, 20 minutes later Mattie saw the closed sign and reached for her key. I open the door and hugged and kissed her like the mother of a kidnap victim who just got her child back. She shouted, "You don't know how glad I am to be back." I asked what happened and she said she'd tell me the whole story but before she forgot, she wanted to put money back in the cashbox. We watched her put eight twenties, ten tens, and eight fives in their proper places in the drawers. I said, "Yes, what was that about?" Mattie replied hurriedly in exasperation and with no breath under the voice, "Well we had three straight customers pay me with Franklins. Everything was drained except for singles. I saw it was lunchtime, so I figured I'd get change at the TD bank on the next corner and then grab lunch. So, it's my luck to be there when some idiot tries to rob the bank - AT RUSH HOUR. And..." She rocked unsteadily. I beckoned her to sit down, "Wait a second, honey. Compose yourself." I got her a glass of water, then asked, "I have a Xanax in my purse. Would you like one?" She nodded. "Okay, now take your time and gather yourself. It's obviously been a rough day. Did you get hurt?" Mattie managed a smile, "Thank the Lord, no. "She slowed her speech considerably and started sounding like Mattie again, "After that most of my anxiety was thinking about Nivea. I left her all alone in the store. It took another hour for the cops to get all the information and evidence they needed for the place to return to normal. It took me another 10 minutes to get the smaller bills we need. After all that, I never did get lunch. That's okay. I lost my appetite. Hey, we'd better reopen the store. We're losing money around here!" We all laughed out loud. Four weeks later, Helen was back at work. The plan was for her to work 30 hours per week the first two months and to return to 40 hour weeks afterwards. We asked Nivea if she wanted to work 40 hours per week but she preferred to stay at 30. So knowing that Leah had been looking to cut back a bit more for a while but couldn't do it whilst Helen was out, I asked Mattie if she would give us another two month commitment. A Whole New Mattie "How about six months, Shelly?" Mattie asked. "Great by me, but you can make more money elsewhere now that you're back on your feet," I countered. "But where else could I work with my best friends, doing work I love with people I love and learning more about arranging flowers which I love more each day!" Her smile was infectious. That Saturday, we had a shopping day but she wouldn't allow me to pay for a thing and I wouldn't think of doing anything to cast a shadow on her new-found self- confidence and feeling of independence. I noticed when we were trying on blouses and dresses that she wasn't using her breast forms, any more. Something she said weeks ago about her hormone therapy with her doctor beginning a new and more personalized regimen suddenly clicked into place. As I looked closely at her cheeks (both pair) and took in the inventory, I could see that her treatment was agreeing with her and probably also contributing to her self-confidence. A few weeks later, this fellow Yuriy came by the shop near closing time. I asked if I could help him but he pointed to Mattie. She came bouncing over, practically singing, "Yuriy's a good friend of mine. We lost contact for a few months but now he's back. Yuriy, I'd like you to meet my best friend, Shelly." Yuriy, a handsome Eastern European type with mid-length Sandy hair and crystal blue eyes, about six-foot-tall and lanky, said, "Hey Mattie, I thought I was your best friend." Mattie smiled, "Shelly's my best female friend. I guess you're still my best male friend - IF you behave yourself." She giggled. And with that, they were off. He continued to pick her up at the shop two or three nights per week. A couple times, she came into the shop in the morning from outside, not upstairs. I came to learn that when she did that she spent the night over at Yuriy's. Several more weeks passed before another handsome man came to call on Mattie, this one with much darker coloring about six-foot-three, 200 pounds, muscular build, jet black hair, and playful brown eyes. While Mattie was with a customer, Luke came right over to me, saying you must be Shelly. I nodded, still drinking in his handsomeness. He introduced himself as Mattie's brother. Luke said that He had met Mattie and Yuriy for dinner the evening before. Mattie had set it up and Luke had been surprised to hear from his sibling because they had not spoken for almost a year. Yuriy was raving about the changed person Mattie had become and having known Yuriy for years, Luke said the pale European was never prone to being overly complimentary before. Luke continued, how he could see it in her eyes, how this was the most self- confident and happy Mattie had ever been. Then he got personal with me. Luke said, looking at me almost in awe, "Every single compliment I paid, Mattie said really belonged to you, Shelly." "You are too kind, sir." I blushed. "I don't think you comprehend the miracles you have wrought with our Mattie. At any rate, I have a favor to ask you even though I know that technically, we just met. I made reservations at the Sea Grill at Rockefeller Center for dinner tonight. Would you please do me the honor of accompanying me as my date?" I replied, "As a friend of your sister or as in a real date type of date." 'As a formality and so you'll say yes, let's start with the first but if I have my way, it will turn into the latter," the dreamboat smiled and winked at me. I smiled and winked back. "Then, I'll pick you up here at 6 PM?" I said, "That'll work for me." My Date with Luke At the Sea Grill, we sat right by the window overlooking the rink. He looked handsome in his blue suit, white and blue striped shirt and dark tie. Even more attractive was having no ring on the relevant finger on his left hand. Of course, I already had some of the skinny on Luke from Mattie. He's a partner with a law firm in their Albany office but that have a New York office and they come down every so often. They've offered him a transfer that he's strongly considering now that he no longer has a family in Albany. Most importantly, Mattie said, Luke has a heart of gold. After perfunctory compliments were shared, he told me what a remarkable woman I was and the best advertisement for transgenderism one could ever meet. I told him that I'm glad that he knew that upfront but wanted to date me anyway and told him that otherwise it can get awfully awkward. He smiled and said with my beauty, the only way he could know was to be told. I smiled again. The waiter brought the chef's complimentary appetizer and took our order. Then, Luke looked at me earnestly and seriously saying I need to tell you some things about Mattie and me, and mostly about Mattie before you met her. I said that I knew enough to be her best friend. He said that I certainly was Mattie's best friend but that Mattie had been so overwhelmed at the force of nature I was that she could never bring herself to tell you the whole story. She has some confessing to do and asked me to do it for her. I told him I was all ears and bade him continue. Luke said, "From grammar school on, Mattie, born Matthew but almost always called Mattie by his friends, was a boy who always found himself in trouble. He got into fights with his classmates, threw a book at a teacher once, and did whatever he could to make girls feel as uncomfortable as they made him feel inside. He just didn't understand them and never saw why he would want to date one. I asked him last night if he thought that was because he knew he really was a girl inside himself. He said it's possible in his subconscious mind but he certainly didn't think it consciously. He liked looking at them and adored their hairstyles and clothes. At the same time, he was scared frightened of being humiliated by them for not living up to their expectations. He couldn't risk that, so he overcompensated by being nasty and rude to him - and virtually everyone else with whom he came into contact. Anytime anyone got close, Mattie reacted defensively and hurled insults. At college he first met Yuriy who was a graduate assistant who was the first person he really let past his defense mechanism. The two of them eventually developed a gay relationship. Shortly after Mattie graduated SUNY-Binghamton, Yuriy had gotten a job in New York City, and Mattie followed him down there. Mattie got two part-time jobs in the city. The first was tutoring the piano and the second was playing his saxophone at Friday and Saturday nights in a band at a West Village jazz club. All this was fine for a few years and when gay marriage became legal in New York, Yuriy talked about tying the knot, but then noticed some changes in attitude. The old defensiveness and surliness was back - and in spades. The bottom line turned out to be that Mattie had developed a bad crack-smoking habit and wasn't interested in giving it up. He started missing his piano tutoring gigs and eventually was fired from both of them. Then after a particularly bad night, he tore up Yuriy's apartment in a rage. Yuriy gave Mattie an ultimatum to quit crack cold turkey or leave. He promised he would. For three weeks, he did, but then fell back off the wagon - big time. Yuriy found out. Mattie begged him for one more chance. He got it and blew it. I'm afraid it's all too familiar a story. I know all about this because Yuriy came to me to see if Mattie would accept my help. When love and largesse were ineffective, I tried tough love and Mattie just cut off communications with me. " "Wow!" I interrupted wanting to give Luke a chance to catch his breath, "It sounds like Mattie put both Yuriy and you through quite a lot. I'm glad she got through it and has two good guys to love her so much." Luke smiled. "Note that we're using two different gender pronouns here. Mattie just told me about why you saw him as a T-Girl. Frankly until he called me last week at Yuriy's urging and told me about it, I had no idea Mattie enjoyed wearing women's clothes at all, let alone now considered himself, uh, herself, a woman. Here's apparently how it went down. When Yuriy kicked him out, Mattie wound up at the 94th Street "Y." He had stayed there about four weeks on the last of the money I had loaned him but now funds were running out fast and he hadn't been able to land a job. He made friends with another gay guy , Ronnie, who said he worked with this operator calling himself Mr. Valentine, who helped him make about $200 per night several nights per week. The catch is that he had to dress up as a woman and give blowjobs to these guys who stayed at hotels near the airport. Ronnie said he'd grown to enjoy it. They treated him well. He felt sexy and made good money. Ronnie said seeing that Mattie was only about 5'6", had a slender build, and a nice butt, he'd probably look sensational once Mr. Valentine gave him one of the working outfits, generally red or black dresses, and had him made up and perfumed for the work. " Luke paused. "Am I shocking you with any of this, Shelly?" I smiled. "Surprised certainly, but not shocked. A girl without money has to find a way to make a living." Luke continued, "Or in this case, a guy dressed like a girl. Anyway for about two months, he was doing well, even better than Ronnie, and Mr. Valentine was very pleased, asked if he would consider hormones and added that Ronnie had started on them. Mattie said he started to get angry that Mr. Valentine even asked him that and asserted in a snappy tone that he was a fag, not a woman. But he realized how ridiculous his own words sounded, so he started laughing so Mr. Valentine wouldn't notice he had been rude. That time Valentine let it go. The trouble is that with money in his pocket, Mattie started smoking crack again and a few weeks later, slugged one of his clients. When Mr. Valentine tried to give him a warning, Mattie walked away entirely, figuring he'd saved up enough until he could find a new "pimp." Unfortunately, crack dissolves money quickly. That's when Mattie started hitting rock bottom with no job, no money, and had run out of second chances at the Y. He tried working the streets on his own without a pimp, but no longer really looked presentable. He got made and rolled, poor Mattie slept on a park bench with nothing and not a friend left in the world the night before he met you. So, he was really seeing himself as a humiliated and busted guy in drag when you met him." I retorted, "I saw her as a heroine and a T-Girl. She must've had good in her to risk saving that boy's life. You're right, Luke. I never questioned that she was a T-Girl down on her luck. I still know that's who she was then, even if she did not recognize this herself." Luke chuckled, "You really are a force of nature, Shelly, aren't you? I can't say you aren't 100% right. The results speak for themselves. For his, uh, her first three months with you, Mattie still thought she was masquerading as a girl and you were just seeing what you wanted to see. In fact, Mattie said the feeling was a weird combination of gratitude and opportunism. On the one hand, you were the most wonderful and caring person ever, treating Mattie like an angel. However, the Mattie I'd still refer to as a he, as my crack-smoking brother that Mattie saw you as a mark, figured he would rob you and that you deserved what was coming to you. On three different occasions, he almost left you on just those terms. Those black bags you saw the first morning didn't only have Mattie's things but everything movable that could be taken from the flat. Another time, when you had gone to the bathroom after ordering food, Mattie took the cash that was in your wallet. Finally, that time the $300 from was taken from the cash drawer, Mattie had gone to Port Authority and was waiting to go to Philadelphia by bus when her conscience kicked in and stopped her. After that, she was absolutely convinced that it was fate." He paused and smiled again. "In fact that night, she reflected on everything and decided she had been in denial, that she had wanted to connect with her true self after all and that her true self is female. Without question, she concluded, you really are her guardian angel, seeing what she could not see herself, allowing her to be tempted, then resist that temptation. She said a few times she wanted to tell you that you made a mistake, that she wasn't a pre-op T-girl, that she wasn't really a woman, but each time you stifled these protests and made her feel so much better she never wanted you to stop. Bottom line: you believed in her like no one else ever did her whole life. You saw her for what the goodness in her could be and needed to be. I cannot tell you how grateful I am to you. That goes for Yuriy and my mom too. I told Mom all about it this morning. She couldn't be happier because she knew how agitated he always was as a boy. For the first time, all that terrible inner conflict Matthew suffered finally makes sense to Mom." Luke lifted our wine in a toast. "To my sister's guardian angel and best friend, may you have a long and happy life!" I clinked his glass saying, "Thank you. I wish those things for us all." I continued, "I have to ask. Is Yuriy okay with these changes?" Luke chuckled, "Okay!?! He's mesmerized by the new Mattie and more in love with her than ever. He did allow that a couple of their gay community friends gave him a little crap for betraying them by "turning hetero" but he gave them the finger and teased them about who is using labels to condemn who now. I've always really respected Yuriy and even more so now. I think they will get married eventually. I don't know whether that means Mattie will keep her male parts or eventually go all the way but that's entirely up to them. I got the impression that those two lovebirds won't bother worrying about that for quite some time." I smiled. "So, Mattie's got her man! Good for her, I'm going to have to tease her about not telling me about him. Yuriy really is VERY cute." Luke laughed again. "Speaking of VERY cute, I've got a stunning date here tonight who enriches every life she touches. Shelly, I will be eternally grateful to you." I feigned being insulted, "And if you invite me out again, will it be because of gratitude?" Luke retorted, "I will invite you out again and it's because I want to get to know you as well as my sister does. Actually, I want to get to know you better." I blushed. "As I told Mattie, all things are possible if you believe in yourself." During the cab ride home, we kissed for the first time. It was obvious it wouldn't be the last.