Bonfire Morning
by Erin Tyler
Twenty minutes later, I heard a knock at my door. Finding The Mistress'
supplies was easy, and I had them all ready to go within 10 minutes.
However, I was sure she would appreciate it if I gave her a little more
time to sleep off her hangover, and I wanted to see if I could make it
to the hospital anyway. I was still procrastinating, though, and
wondering if I could make an effective weapon that was more than just a
steel pipe and a piece of glass.
The knock prompted me to stand up. "Who's there?!" I called out. That
felt strange: here I was, alone in the middle of a post-apocalyptic
ruin, and someone had the courtesy to knock.
"...'S me," I heard outside.
"...Gary?"
"Yeah."
I opened the door a crack. He was mulling right outside. "What do you
want?"
"Uhh..." He looked behind himself. "...I'm usually shadowing Dad
around this time."
"So go shadow him, then."
"I really think he wants to be alone right now." He scratched the top
of his head. His hair was filthy; he looked like he might have lice.
"He's back there chopping wood and cursing up a storm."
I looked at his face -- he was anxious. "Are you thinking it's better
not to disturb the angry man with the axe?"
"Yeah," he said, nodding.
"So go home, then. Who's watching your sisters?"
"A neighbor, right now." He stopped scratching his head, but kept his
hand on top. "Uhh... Nat-Natsuko... I'm, uhhh..." He paused and bit
his lip.
"Yes?"
"I'm... sorry we burned you in effete."
"Effigy."
"Yeah, that. Sorry we burned you in effigy."
I sighed, and opened the door all the way. "Can you say you speak for
the whole town?" He winced. "I didn't think so. So I'm sorry for
thinking you and your dad could." I paused. "That's why your dad got
voted out, isn't it? He said something about it."
"Yeah... so I heard. He made me skip the burning last night to punish
me for the theater thing yesterday." He looked at me quizzically. "I
smell like toilets. Can't you tell?"
"No. I don't have a sense of smell." I leaned against the doorframe.
"And I am the biggest dumbass in the world."
"'S all right. Dad tries to, uh... to let everyone have their own
opinion, do their own thing, but, uhh..." He paused and tried to think
of what to say.
"It can come back and bite him in the ass?" I offered.
"Yeah! Big time." He stared at the ground and mulled. "So can I
shadow you today?"
"-Bwuh?"
"I was thinking about it last night, and... some of the stuff you had
yesterday really was cool." He peeked a little past me and saw my
clumsy art-robot. His eyes goggled. "Whoa... huh!" He blinked and
shook his head to regain his composure. "Uh! Anyway, I was thinking
that... maybe... if I follow you around some, I could..." He trailed
off there. His shoulders slowly raised. "I dunno. Understand...
better?"
"What do you mean?"
"I mean, uh..." He rubbed his face. He wasn't able to muster the same
forcefulness as his father, but when he wasn't trying to fake it, there
was a thoughtfulness there that the older Carson didn't quite have.
"Get to know... things... better. See the way you see stuff." He
sighed, and his shoulders fell. "Does that make any sense?"
"Actually, yeah, it kind of does. And I appreciate it, Gary. I really
do."
He smiled a little. "Okay! But! Uh..." He looked up at Sky Tower.
"I don't wanna go up there."
"It's okay. I probably have a few hours to kill before I need to go
back up there." I looked behind myself at my small pile, and thought
about what I had to do. "Actually, Gary, it might not be such a good
idea for you to shadow me right now. I have something I need to do."
"...Oh! Okay, well, I don't wanna get involved in The Mistress'
business-"
"-No, for myself. There's this place northwest of us called
Massachusetts General Hospital, and I need to go there to check
something out."
"The old hospital? Right before the bridge?"
I froze. Bad idea, I thought. This is a bad idea. "...So I've heard."
He smiled. "Yeah! I know where that is! A bunch of old buildings
right there by the river, real creepy place. Me 'n my friends used to
go up there and dare each other to go inside."
"Okay, then. So... it's safe to walk up there? At this time of day?"
"As safe as anywhere else around here. But if you're asking about
crooks 'n stuff, then they usually come up from the south. They'll head
further northeast, but they don't go near the river very much, which is
where you're going."
"All right." I quickly stepped out of the storeroom and locked the door
behind me. I knew what Gary was about to ask me, and I wanted to be
gone by the time he thought to ask me.
I was too late: "Do you want me to come with you?"
I sighed. "I can't ask you to do that, Gary. You're a kid."
"You're practically a kid yourself!"
"Believe it or not, I'm older than you." I tried to get away.
"I'm armed! What've you got?!" I froze. "Suppose there is some guy up
there that gives you grief! What'll you do then without me?"
I slowly turned. "Alan is already pissed at me."
"He already knows I've been up there. Besides, if he gets pissed at
anyone, it'll be me for not cleaning toilets." He scrunched his face.
"I freakin' hate cleaning toilets!"
There was no way around it: I had to bring Gary along. Safe roads or
not, the kid could protect me. "We don't attack anyone," I clarified to
him just before we left Mariel's. "We only defend."
He nodded. "That's the first thing Dad taught me."
The kid isn't so stupid after all, I thought before remembering that I
had seen him go on the offensive. Twice.
Yeah, alright, he's pretty stupid.
He led the way as we rounded Mariel's and turned left at the next
intersection. We heard loud grunting and chopping noises as we snuck
past the pharmacy -- Alan was going ape-shit on those trees -- as we
kept our eyes peeled for cougars. I thought I saw a tail lolling about
in the building next to the pharmacy, but it didn't pull back or start
pursuing us. "They probably don't need to eat again right now," Gary
whispered back to me. "...Probably."
He was meat and I wasn't, but I said nothing.
We took a right at the next burnt-out stoplight and headed north down a
one-way road bordered by the high walls that were all that was left of a
series of tall buildings. It felt like walking into a concrete canyon,
with wind gusting through in irregular intervals. Gary bundled up in
his coat and jammed a knit cap on top of his head, but didn't complain.
The road emerged onto a four-lane boulevard with an overgrown median.
It was the most open space I had seen in the city outside Parkside. The
whole scene was eerie: there weren't that many cars around. There were
some rusted-out heaps parked in spots along the side of the boulevard,
but it looked like damn near everyone had just got up and driven away.
The buildings looked to be in varying conditions of decay: some
structures -- mostly the smaller, more modern stores on the north side
of the street, to our right -- had been long abandoned, burnt up, broken
apart, and left to collapse and rot; others looked like they had been
abandoned more recently, such as a few of the townhouses and taverns to
our left, and aside from a need for a few new windows and a good
scrubbing, they could be re-inhabited today. Like the roads to the
south, the boulevard was leaf-littered and untrodden, save for a few
animals. I felt eyes on us once or twice.
"Do you see anyone?" I muttered to Gary.
"No," he muttered back. "Dad always tells me to keep my head moving and
use my peripheral vision. Try to see them before they see you." He
looked up at the fourth story of one of the buildings to our right. I
followed his gaze and nearly felt my (imagined) heart stop -- there was
someone watching us from up there, out of one of the windows. The
person quickly ducked out of sight within two seconds of me spotting him
(or her -- I couldn't tell). "Most folks won't start anything with you
most of the time." I noticed that his hand was resting on his hip, just
above the grip of his gun. "Most folks," he repeated.
"And only most of the time."
"Yeah..." His head turned to the left, but it seemed like he wasn't
ignoring the fourth-story person completely. "Let's keep going. We're
almost there."
Ahead of us was a jumbled mass of roadways, and beyond that a bridge
over the river. Before that and to the right was a complex of
nondescript red brick buildings with small, evenly-spaced dark windows.
Few trees grew around the buildings, which made me nervous. The wind
picked up as we got closer to the structures. Even without a sense of
touch, I somehow felt cold, very cold. I had a foreboding sense of
deja-vu from the place; I had been there before, but of course, I
couldn't remember when. Centuries ago, most likely.
Or maybe more recently than that.
"Are you okay?" When I wasn't paying attention, Gary had turned his
attention to me. I realized that my arms were crossed, and I was
shivering. "I thought you couldn't feel stuff."
"Yeah, I can't. This is, just..." I shook my head. "I dunno." I took
a deep breath and walked toward the nearest set of open doors.
As I got closer to the hospital, I got closer to the river. I could see
a concrete wall separating the road from the water, with little success.
The river was higher than the road, and the water lapped over the edge,
flooding the lower parts of the roadway. I hopped onto a lamp post and
shimmied up. "What're you doing?" Gary asked.
"Someone did some heavy engineering on this side of the river," I
replied. "I want to see-"
...Oh, my goodness.
What a sight it was.
The Sea Witch of Norfolk had told me that without public funding for
education and research, there were no effective institutions to monitor
and mitigate the effects of climate change.
That was obvious to me up there on that lamp post. Everything north and
west of our little peninsula, on the other side of the river, was a
floodplain. Parkland next to the river was a muddy mess; water pooled
freely in the roads, and invaded homes and businesses. Someone, some...
group, maybe the Army Corps of Engineers, had installed levees along the
river around this central area of the city. Nobody was manning the
levees, however. Nobody was fixing them. The river was relentlessly
pushing and wearing away the barrier, and as sure as the sun rises in
the morning, it would eventually win. I had noticed that we were
heading downhill as we made our way closer to the river, which meant
that Parkside was safe from the inevitable flood (probably, or just
maybe). Within just a few years, however, the area Gary and I were
standing on now would become part of the river, unless someone
reinforced those levees.
Damn it, I thought, one panic situation at a time!
I sighed and slid down the pole. "We fucked up, Gary," I croaked.
"What?! What'd we do?!"
"Not you. Me and..." I rubbed my eyes. "...You know what? Don't
worry about it. It's too late anyway."
"Wh-" Gary looked up the road, toward the bridge. "Is something coming
for us?"
"Something already came for us, and it got us."
He blinked. "I don't understand."
"Ohhh..." I gave him a light pat on the shoulder. "Don't worry about
it. Auntie Natsuko is just pining for the good old days. C'mon." I
waved him toward the hospital.
He hesitated. "How old are you?"
The inside of the hospital was dark and quiet. Deeper into the
building, I saw lights that looked natural, like they were streaming in
through windows; much of the interior, however, was cloaked in shadow.
I kept my ears open, listening for any footsteps or other noises that
could signify something was alive in there, but I heard nothing. Gary
and I delayed our journey in the lobby as we tried to figure out our
next move.
"Did you bring any lights?" Gary asked.
Crap, I thought. "No."
He patted his pockets. "I think I might have some matches somewhere...
Just, uh..." He felt inside some pockets, then some others. "Hmm..."
Wait, I thought, I have a light. Except... "Hey, Gary, I... have a
light, but, uhhh... you have to promise me you won't freak out."
He looked up from his pockets. "Whuh? Why would I freak out?"
"Well, because..." I weaved my fingers together. "I told you I'm a
person, but... I have this thing I can do, and it's one of those... not-
so-human things." He looked concerned. "I won't hurt you, or myself,
or anyone else, I swear. It's just... it's weird enough to startle
you." He still looked concerned. "Look, could you just promise you
won't pull a Junior and shoot me?!" I looked at his gun.
"...Okay, sure."
"...All right." I took a deep, fake, yet relaxing breath and said, out
loud, "Flashlight."
The lights behind my optical sensors blinked on.
Gary's jaw dropped. "Whaaaaa!" he gaped. I shone my eyes on the ground
so I wouldn't blind him, but he was already dazzled. He bent down and
looked at them. "Fucking cool!!" he yelled.
"I know, right?!" I replied.
"Oh, I gotta get me somma those."
"Aw, but you have to be a robot." He grunted in disappointment. I
looked at the floor and saw, in the dust and dirt covering it, tracks
leading down the hall, and a single pair of boot prints next to it.
"Look, down there. Those look like they might have been left by one of
The Mistress' robots."
"Is she here?!"
"No, she's back at the tower. Look at them -- they've been here a long
time."
Gary walked up to the entrance to the hall and looked down. "They go to
the left, there," he said, pointing down into the corridors. "Into some
of those little rooms down there." We followed the tracks, which were
mostly worn away. They led past a set of intact but filthy windows that
looked out into a jungle-like courtyard. After that, the tracks turned
left into a cluster of administrative offices.
As soon as I looked into the office, I saw a hint as to what The
Mistress had been doing there. "There," I said, pointing to the top of
a desk close to the door. A desktop PC tower had been dusted off and
laid on its side, then part of its cover had been taken off. "I bet The
Mistress did that."
"Why?" Gary asked, before he started poking around the nearby offices to
ensure we were alone.
"She was scavenging," I replied. "You remember her shop? Everything
she's got in there are parts she pulled from all the old machines in
these ruins." I followed behind Gary and looked into other offices.
Similar PCs and their monitors had been pulled apart. "She came out
here on a parts run, and she brought either Leviathan or Tiny along with
her. I've seen her leave on parts runs before."
"Yeah, Dad said she can be seen leaving the tower every once in a
while."
I stepped into an office and waved Gary in. "This is stuff your
ancestors used to do their jobs. It's like I told you, it's not some
kind of-" My eyes settled on something else on the desk that had been
moved: an old, yellowed letter. It was so brittle, it nearly broke
apart when I picked it up and unfolded it. "-Some kinda... alien..." I
read the letter:
Monday, June 23, 2053
Dr. O'Connor,
The Massachusetts Board of Health requests your attendance at an audit
of the state's funding for neuropathology research at the State House in
Boston on Monday, July 28, 2053 at 8:00 AM EST. Among the topics to be
discussed are your recent requests for an increase in state funding for
Massachusetts General Hospital's research program and its
Before I could finish reading the letter, the bottom two-thirds broke
off the top and hit the desk, where it crumbled into illegible dust.
"Damn it!" I yelled.
"What'd it say?" Gary asked.
"Uhh..." I had my suspicions about what it meant, but I had to be sure.
"Let's double back to the lobby. I have to check the directory."
The hospital directory behind the front desk of the lobby had also been
disturbed recently, and wheel marks on the floor told me that one of The
Mistress' robots had been there, too. This hospital did, indeed, have a
neuropathology laboratory in the basement, which was marked as floor B-
1. The nearest entrance to B-1 was down the hall straight out of the
lobby. At the first right was another hall leading into examination
rooms on the far end, an elevator to our right, and a staircase to our
left. A faded sign next to the staircase read "NEUROLOGY LABS - B-1"
with a downward-pointing arrow.
We carefully tread down the stairs, peeking over the edge first to
ensure that nobody was waiting for us at the bottom. On the first
landing, we found more skid marks from one of The Mistress' robots.
Gary sniffed the air and gagged. "Gugh," he said, "something reeks!"
He followed me down slowly, making more gagging noises the further down
we went. On the landing for floor B-1, I opened the door, and Gary
howled.
"Gary! Shut up!"
He yanked up the collar of his shirt and held it over his mouth and
nose. "Fuck, Natsuko!! Something in there fuckin' died!!" His eyes
were watering. "That shit's rank!!"
I looked inside and saw a waiting room. There was a reception desk in
the far right corner, and three hallways: one to the left of the desk on
the side furthest from us, and two more on opposite sides of the room.
Water glistened off the surface of the linoleum tile floor -- the river
was leaking into the hospital, and everything below this floor was
completely flooded. "You stay here, then," I said.
"In the dark?! No freakin' way!!"
"Then go back upstairs. I'll try not to be too long down here."
"What if something's in there?! Maybe whatever died has a big brother!"
I thought about it and sighed. "...I have to go in there, Gary. This
is really, really important to me. You don't have to follow me any
further if you don't want to."
He looked like he was ready to run out of there. "...You seriously
can't smell that?!"
"Nope."
"Aw! Lucky! The toilets back home smell better!" He jogged back
upstairs, adding, "Holler if you get in trouble!" halfway up.
Back in the 21st century, he'd be a regular Boy Scout, I thought as I
rolled my eyes. I quietly entered the waiting room and looked around.
Nothing was moving around inside -- despite Gary's fears, very few large
animals would enjoy being around the smell of (what I assumed to be)
rot. With water on the floor, all traces of The Mistress' activities
were long gone. I thought to myself, What could have brought her down
here? What could a robotics expert want in a neurology lab, where they
study brains?
The answer was so painfully obvious, it hurt. I was actually a little
shocked that I hadn't thought of it before. But I had to see for
myself. I had to know where I came from. On the wall to my left was a
plastic sign that listed the rooms of the doctors, the departments...
...And, in large white letters, the words "BRAIN BANK -- 7".
There was a brain bank in room 7, which was just 15 feet to my right. A
brain bank, like a bank where they store money, only in a brain bank...
I felt a little strange as I walked toward the glass door of the brain
bank. A little... off. A little dizzy. A little claustrophobic, as
the walls seemed to close in on me. The door was wide open, and a
cloudy murkiness seeped out into the waters covering the floor, turning
it slushy and dark gray. Fortunately, I had thought far enough ahead to
take my sandals off before walking through there... but looking into
that room, I felt them slip from my hands and land on the floor with a
splash.
I was home.
I don't know how to better describe the feeling.
A profound sense of deja vu washed over me, stronger than what I had
felt outside. The dimensions of the room: longer than it was deep, and
crowded. The ceiling-high partitions, arranged like bookcases in a
library, except these had cylindrical indentations in them that went
over a foot inward. The small desks and shelves along the wall,
cluttered with papers and laboratory equipment, and the white cupboards
overhanging them.
And the floor. The tile floor, with that gristly, gray watery stuff all
over it.
When I saw the gray chunks near the shelves, I realized they were
brains.
I wanted to heave. I tried to heave. I dragged myself inward and
looked at the nearest row. The cylindrical indentations had contained
brains at one point, and some still did, although they were all
decomposed. Rubber stoppers lined each edge of each indentation, and a
glass lid was either latched over or hanging from each hole. All of the
rubber stoppers had dried and cracked with age, and the refrigeration
that kept the brains frozen had seeped out. Without anything to
preserve them, the brains had rotted away.
This is what Gary had smelled: row after row of decayed brains in the
dark basement of this abandoned hospital.
...Had I been one of them?! It was impossible! I wasn't decayed, I was
alive! Alive-ish, anyway! I walked from row to row, looking into the
holes that were filled with room-temperature stews made from water and
rotting flesh. All the stoppers were cracked. All the seals had been
compromised. All the brains had been dissolved to lumpy nothingness.
Except for one.
The indentation stood out from all the others. Although its lid was
wide open, something seemed different about its rubber seal. I walked
over to it and got a closer look. The outer edge was dried, but the
inner edge, perhaps miraculously, remained rubbery and soft, with maybe
a sixteenth of an inch to go before the indentation's occupant would
have been consigned to oblivion. There was a tiny paper tag just below
the indentation: "Subject 172." I looked up into the dark space.
I was home.
There was something in that darkness, something deep and vast and very,
very familiar. For a moment, it felt like my lights could not pierce
its full length, and I was looking into an infinite abyss. It had been
there for centuries, patiently concealing its sole occupant until...
whatever. Until the doctors returned. Until doomsday, maybe. Until
the rubber seal gave out, which it never got the chance to. Until The
Mistress had opened the lid and removed its occupant.
Me.
I was Subject 172.
I am Subject 172.
I am absolutely positive, beyond any doubt; I have never been more
certain of anything else.
The darkness beckoned. I staggered back, horrified that I could feel
anything like that. For God's sake, I thought, let me feel physical
pain! Let me smell the stench of this place! Anything but that! I
tried not to freak out, but I was already freaking out. I quickly
clawed at the tiny paper tag and pulled it out. "Subject 172," it read,
and nothing else. I turned it over to only find blank paper.
"...No," I muttered, "no-no-no..." I looked up and around frantically,
then slosh-dashed over to the cupboards. They were filled with cups,
beakers, microscopes... and binders. Empty binders. I threw them to
the floor and ran over to the desks. "Where is it, where is it?!" I
snarled. I yanked a binder full of paper off one of the desks and
rifled through it. The binder was full of measurements, documents,
graphs and charts, all kinds of things, but nothing that said "Subject
172," or at least nothing I could see in the few frantic seconds I spent
ripping through its pages. "Where the fuck is it?!" I pulled out
another binder, but similarly found nothing. "My name, God damn it!!
What's my fucking name?! Who am I?!"
Another binder, then another. I knocked a row of them off the desk and
attacked another. "Fuuuuck... fuck!!" I knocked it, and another, to
the floor.
Then I found something: a binder, with a column full of numbers from one
to 200, and columns of numbers next to each one. And at the header of
the first row: "Test Subject #".
Subject 172.
Test Subject 172.
"...I'm a God damn guinea pig," I breathed. What was it? What did the
binder say? Something about neuro-something-something-something
research on the front cover, something I'd need a Ph.D. to understand.
They had been using me to... test it, or control it, or something. I
don't know. At that moment, I didn't care.
I was someone's guinea pig.
I looked through the binder for more notes. I found something: "1/23/18
-- Subject 172 -- administered 40 cc's of" ahhh what the fuck is this, I
thought. What the fuck is this shit?! How do I even pronounce this
shit?! I threw the binder across the room with a ridiculous overhand
throw.
I was bent forward, gasping for air I didn't need and staring blankly
ahead at the shelves. The unmoving, reeking shelves in the darkness,
filled and surrounded by the mushy remains of my companions for
centuries.
My home.
Their tomb.
I was fast approaching full-blown freakout mode. Shivering, I looked
around once more at the desks and cupboards. The floor was wet, but the
environment was so dry -- metaphorically, I mean. Even abandoned, it
all looked neat and organized. Professional. Inhuman. There was no
personal paraphernalia anywhere, no names. Of course there aren't any
names, I thought. They'd never give them names. They're test subjects.
What if some doctor lost her son that morning to some horrible disease,
only to find his fucking brain in there being dissected by that
afternoon? Nobody could ever know who they had been.
...My identity.
My entire life.
It was lost to history.
The loss was crushing -- I could actually feel it dragging me down like
a weight. I let out a hoarse cry. To prevent myself from collapsing
into the muck, I laboriously pulled myself up to the counter. I was
bawling, but no tears came. I clutched the countertop and sobbed. I
don't know how long I was there. Minutes? Hours?
When I felt a hand on my shoulder, I jumped and screamed.
"Whoa!" The person was holding a burning torch, and he took a step
back. "Relax, Natsuko!" he said in a slightly muffled voice. "'S just
me!"
I shivered and held back. "...Uh, um... flash... light," I muttered,
and my eye-lights shut off.
It was Gary. He had a wet handkerchief tied around his nose and mouth.
"I heard yelling! What's going on?!"
I held my arms close to my chest. "...This... it... Gary, they-"
"-Is there someone else here?!"
I took a deep breath and sighed. "...No," I said, a little more calmly.
"We're alone."
"Then what happened?!"
I looked up at him. I was completely, totally miserable. "Just... get
me out of here, Gary," I warbled. "Please, please get me out of here."
Gary left me alone on the stoop outside the hospital as he went into one
of the abandoned buildings across the road. When he emerged, he was
carrying a bucket. He put it down in front of me -- the bucket itself
was a little dirty, but the water looked fresh and clean. "There used
to be folks who lived out here, up until 20 years ago, when they agreed
to move to Parkside," he said. "They left some of their stuff here.
They got... big tarps, up on the roof, to collect dew and rainwater."
I absently nodded. He handed me a clean(ish) rag. "Here, wipe some of
the stink off. I found your shoes floating around just inside." He
threw them on the ground next to me, then stood up straight and looked
down at me.
I stared up at him.
He stared back.
"Um," I said, and twirled my finger. He didn't get it. "Turn around?"
He looked over his shoulder, then looked back at me quizzically. I
sighed. "I need to strip, kid."
"-Oh!!" I thought I saw a deformation in his pants, around his fly, as
he turned around. I stifled a chuckle just before I took off my skirt.
Fourteen, I thought. A rough age.
"...So what was going on down there?" he asked.
I sighed and started to wipe off my feet and legs. "It's a really long
story, Gary."
"I've got time."
I paused for a moment. "This place used to be a hospital. Do you know
what that is?"
"Yeah, where they used to treat sick people."
"Well, they did research here, too. Scientific research into disease."
"...Okay." He was following along.
"That room, down there..." I paused again. "They stored human organs
down there, Gary." His eyes went wide, and he moved to face me. "Eyes
forward, Gary!"
He turned back around. "What?!"
"Brains, specifically."
"What the fu-?! They took brains, like... outta people's heads?!"
"Yeah, for research purposes."
"Buh-why?!"
I thought about how best to explain this. "...Because you can't know
what a disease does to a person unless you get a really close look at
the kind of damage it does to them. That includes organs, and brains."
"Yeah, but-!" He sputtered. "I'd be pretty pissed off if someone came
around tryin' to remove my brain, even if I was sick!!"
"They weren't removing brains from living people."
Gary calmed a little. "...They weren't?"
"All those brains that were in there... they were removed from dead
people. People who died from diseases, or..." I looked at the ground.
"...Were in accidents..."
"So... what, they just removed everyone's brain when they died so they
could study them?"
I stood up and removed my fuku. "No. Back then, some people took part
in what was called 'body donation,' or 'organ donation.' Basically,
they agreed that when they died, doctors could take apart their bodies
and remove all the organs they needed."
"For research?"
"And to help other people directly." I washed my arms. "Doctors could
perform a kind of surgery called a 'transplant.' That's where one
person's organ gets really sick, so a doctor will replace it with the
organ of another person."
"...A dead person."
"Exactly. They could take, say... the heart out of a dead guy and put
it into someone whose heart doesn't work."
"...And... the dead guy's heart would work in the person who had the bad
heart?"
"Yeah, if the dead guy's heart worked when he died."
"...Whoa," Gary breathed out in astonishment. "...But the, uh...
brains..."
"You can't swap brains, no. But like I said, they had to look at organs
to figure out how disease hurts them. That includes diseases of the
brain. It's how people figured out ways to cure those diseases, to shut
them down before they could do any more damage, or to give people ways
to prevent themselves from ever getting the disease to begin with."
Gary turned to his side and looked at me. I threw the rag over my
breasts. "Damn it, Gary, I told you-!!"
I paused. He had a haunted look on his face. "You serious?" he
warbled. "They could do that?"
"...Whuh? Gary, what's-"
"-My mom died of meningitis."
...
...I was paralyzed. He said nothing for a few moments. "She, uh..."
He wiped his nose and eyes. "...She... I was 10, and... the girls were
real little. I still remember her. She..." He breathed in. "She got
this, uh... real bad headache one day, and she had a fever, then she
said her neck was stiff, then she had to go into a... a dark room? And
we had to be real quiet 'cause she couldn't stand light and-and noise?
The girls were real little. They were crying, so I was... told to take
them to a neighbor, but later I was told that it was so I wouldn't... I
mean, we wouldn't get sick..."
Gary wasn't looking at me anymore, but I could see the water in his
eyes. "...And then, uh... Dad and Doctor Phillips came out later and
told me she died. And we had to burn her body and... her sheets..."
He let out a little sob and covered his face with his hands. His
shoulders shook.
"Jesus, Gary. I'm..." I paused. "I'm sorry..."
He took his hands off his face and scrunched it. "...Mmnnhh!" he
grunted, forcing his tears back down. He sniffled inward hard so his
nose wouldn't leak. He took a few seconds to compose himself and slow
his breathing. I saw his father in him, right there.
And when he felt ready, he looked up at me. "...You might have a
problem with the... the doctors, and the stuff they did with the... uh,
the brains... of the dead people, down there..." He breathed in and
out. "I don't."
He said nothing else, and I said nothing else. When I was done cleaning
myself, he took the rag and wiped himself off, although he didn't need
to clean as much as I did.
And when we were ready, we returned the bucket to its place under the
tarp across the street and headed back to Parkside.
A couple minutes after Gary and I left the hospital, The Mistress awoke
with a start. "Whossat!" she blurted, then moaned. She lifted her
goggles a little and rubbed her eyes. "...Oooooohhhh... never again,
never again..." She sniffed, then looked in her coffee mug.
"...Hehn... still the best robot ever," she muttered.
With a loud groan, she lifted herself out of her chair and shambled out
of the kitchenette. "Natsuko, you here?" she called out, with more
energy this time. "Natsuko!" When I didn't reply, she shrugged her
shoulders. "Eh. Must be downstairs." She remembered she had left a
can of beans somewhere near her bed -- that was going to be her
breakfast. She poured the rest of the coffee into her mug (even though
it was cold) and shambled across the shop toward her bedroom.
That's when she noticed something was happening in Parkside.
"Mmm?" She brushed aside the plastic curtain and looked down at the
town. A crowd had gathered near the east entrance of town, the one
closest to Sky Tower. She patted herself down, but didn't find her
telescope (I left it by her bed). "Meh." She reached into one pocket
and pulled out a smaller monocular, then focused it on the crowd.
Father (/Mayor) Fitzpatrick was standing in the middle of the crowd, and
he was speaking with fiery zeal. The crowd was getting riled up.
Although The Mistress couldn't hear what he was saying, she saw him
point at Sky Tower with an accusatory fervor. "...Shhhhit," she
mumbled, then reached into another pocket and pulled out an old smart
phone. She checked the screen, which told her that the robots in the
lobby were fully charged. She checked their armaments and saw that they
still had as many as she had left them with. "'Kay, so lobby's good."
She looked around. "Tiny! Leviathan!" Her robots appeared out of
another room. "We've got a 'Bonfire Morning' scenario." Their eyes
turned red, and their miniguns popped out. "Get loaded, get downstairs,
and take opposite doors. Don't shoot unless they try to enter the
lobby. Understand?"
"Yes, Mistress," they replied.
"Teeny!" she barked, and he appeared. "Bonfire Morning! Get your
brothers down to the lobby ay-sap!" He folded into the elevator shaft.
Leviathan got in first, and Teeny dropped down. She lifted her chin and
shouted, "Natsuko, for your own sake, you better be in here somewhere!!"
I wasn't in there.
Gary and I took a left onto the pharmacy road and passed the cougars,
still lazing around in their den. Alan stormed up the opposite way,
carrying two large loads of firewood under his arms, with his axe
dangling from one hand. He looked like he was still in a bad mood.
Before we could avoid him, he saw us. "You two!!" he barked, dropping
the firewood (but not the axe, hurrah!) and accelerating toward us.
I lifted my hand and started to say, "Hi, Al-," and saw Gary shaking his
head rapidly.
Alan was near us already. "Where the hell have you two faaaauuughhhh!!"
Alan was knocked back by some invisible force. He clutched his nose and
pulled his shirt over his mouth. "Whad duh hell hab you been rolling
around in?!"
"We, uh...," I stuttered, "...I took Gary up to the hospital-"
His eyes went wide. "You toog my son where?!"
"I made her take me with her, Dad," Gary said. "It's not her fault.
She said she wanted to go to the hospital, and she said she didn't want
to take me-"
"-Nuh, nuh!!" Alan grunted, then pointed at me with full force. "You
don't take my son anywhere!!"
"I'm sorry I got angry at you," I stated quickly and clearly.
He started to say something: "Ah!" He tried to say something: "Mmm..."
He couldn't say anything.
"And I'm sorry I blamed you for the bonfire," I continued. "That was
stupid of me. I should have figured it was outside of your control."
He huffed, then took a couple steps back and lowered his shirt. "...I
got the impression," he stated, more calmly, but with some force, "that
you didn't exactly care for The Mistress. That you're bound to her
against your will."
"I am."
"Then why are you taking her side?!"
"Because I learned some things about her last night," I winced, "...and
I can't tell you what they are." He rolled his eyes. "Look, Alan...
what I said before is still true: I have to live with her, or else I'll
die. Although, frankly, if I have to live with someone, I'd rather like
them, at least a little, and I found out last night... The Mistress
isn't so... hateable." His eyes went wide. "There's a lot you don't
know about her, Alan. I got that mixed up with what you think you know
about her, and I blamed you for everything. So I'm sorry." He let out
a long sigh, like air escaping a balloon. "I am a colossal jackass," I
added.
"Huuhh...," he grunted, "...no, it's okay. You make a good point: I
can't expect you to take Parkside's side in this."
"-Deh! I don't want there to be sides!!" I blurted. "She's up there
all alone! She's lonely too, man!" He gave me a disbelieving look. I
shook my head. "I'm doing it again. Like I said, there's stuff you
don't know about her. A lot of stuff." He blinked a couple times and
nodded slightly -- he could believe that.
"She's made it pretty clear she doesn't want to be down here," he said.
"I think she actually wants to, although she doesn't know it."
"I don't think most folks want her down here, either."
"There's nothing any of us can do about that," I mumbled.
Nobody said anything for a second. Then, "...So just... what the hell
is that smell?!"
"The stuff of nightmares," I said.
"And poo," Gary added.
Alan's eyes were watering. "Okay, look... follow ten... no, twenty
steps behind me and wait outside Mariel's. I'm gonna bring back water
and soap." He shivered. "So much soap!"
The mob was moving toward Sky Tower with Father Fitzpatrick in the lead,
and The Mistress was watching them. "You wanna rumba?" she growled. "I
can dance all day, bitches! Come get some!" She put down her monocular
and screamed, "Come get some!!"
She was shaking.
The mob was almost to the door. "...Okay, okay," she muttered, then
held a walkie-talkie to her mouth. "Everyone in position?"
"Yes, Mistress," Tiny replied.
"Yes, Mistress," Leviathan replied.
"Yes, Mistress," the guard-bots replied.
"Ding!" Teeny replied, right behind her.
"Okay, get ready." A moment passed. The mob moved closer. "Get
ready!" Ever closer.
Then there was a shift. Father Fitzpatrick didn't go straight to the
front doors of the tower. Instead, he turned left and headed toward the
destroyed theater. The crowd followed.
"...Whaaat," The Mistress mumbled. "Where the fuck're you goin'? You
thinkin' of taking in a show, or getting a new dress-"
"-Fuck a duck!!" she suddenly screamed, throwing the monocular on the
floor. She turned and ran through her bedroom, then into the junk-lab.
"Natsuko!!" she screamed, but I didn't respond. Miki-chan made herself
small. "Fuck-fuck-fuck!!" The Mistress ran toward the elevator and
almost called Teeny, but instead paused, and did an indecisive dance in
place. Here, in no particular order, is a list of her most predominant
thoughts:
If she went down, the mob would try to kill her.
If she didn't bring her robots, the mob would kill her.
If she brought her robots, they would kill the mob.
If she went down and lived, then it would only be because her robots had
killed a bunch of people... which would mean another mob, or one or more
bounty hunters on her ass, and that's not even mentioning how royally
pissed that would make High Mistress Blood. (Believe it or not, Blood
could get angry -- it just took a lot of effort.)
If I died, that would suck.
"Daaaaaaaagggghhhh!!" The Mistress screamed. She ran to her radio room,
grabbing a laptop and another smart phone along the way, and turned her
newly-restored radio on. "Sea!! Come in, Sea!!" No response. "This
is an emergency!! Bonfire Morning!! I need Sea!!" Still no response.
"Fine, bitch!! You asked for this!!" She whipped open her laptop and
entered commands as fast as her fingers could type. In a box on the
bottom of the screen, she typed, "Call me you stuck-up shithead." Above
that, a map of the entire earth was pulled up, along with a line over
it. She typed in a few commands, and the line moved.
A few seconds later, the Sea Witch of Norfolk appeared on the central
monitor. "Metal!!" she screamed. "What the fuck are you doing?!"
"Answer your phone!!" The Mistress spat.
"What-!"
"-Bonfire Morning, God-damn it!!"
Sea's face dropped. In an instant, she was no longer livid. "Run," she
said in a low, calm voice. "Leave everything and run."
"They're not after me, they're after Natsuko!! She's outside the
tower!! Here, look, look!!" She held up her smart phone and showed Sea
a series of red bars on the screen. She quickly swiped each one to the
right with her finger, turning them green. "Blocked, now unblocked!!
You're cleared!! Now make an appearance!!"
Sea was confused for a moment. "Whuh-" she muttered, before
understanding dawned on her face. "...That's not what they're used
for," she grumbled.
"I don't give a shit!! You make an appearance in five minutes on the
north side of Sky Tower, or you get to explain to Blood why you let my
apprentice die!!"
"Natsuko's your-"
"Five minutes!!" The Mistress screamed, and switched off the radio.
"Jesus Ffffffuck!! Teeny!! Elevator!!"
"...I challenged him," Alan said after an uncomfortable silence.
"I didn't say anything," I replied.
"You told her about the election, Gary?"
"...Yeah, Dad."
Alan sighed. "I challenged Ossie. That's Father Oswald
Fitzpatrick...," his mind wandered a little, and he chuckled, "...our
town's resident Man of God. Great with numbers. Used to keep our
books, until the stress got to him -- then he became the town drunk. I
once watched him drain half the tavern's stores of vodka in a single
night! Had a... a revelation!" He wiggled his hands in front of his
face and looked up toward the sky. "Found God! He's been a self-
righteous prick ever since... although, I'll admit, he cleaned up good,
and he's helped a lot of people." He sighed. "But then he decided he
wanted more."
"The mayoralty?" I asked.
He scoffed. "I was never mayor! I was never elected! Nobody demanded
an election before Ossie, so it's always been in Carson hands. I
thought I could whup him by just... reminding everyone who I am." He
paused. "It didn't work."
I stopped in my tracks. "Hold up," I said. "You're telling me the
whole town got up before daybreak and decided to change their leadership
just like that?!"
"It wasn't everyone. We've never held an election before, so we kinda
decided the rules as we went along. No kids could vote, for starters.
We just asked the folks who were there for a show of hands."
"That's a really shitty election!"
"I'm sure some of the folks who weren't there will get mad once they
hear I'm out, but I don't want to start a spat between my neighbors-"
"-No! No! You don't do this sort of thing off-the-cuff! There's
procedures you gotta follow! You gotta give people time to decide!"
"You don't understand, Natsuko, I..." His eyes were watery, and not
from the stink. "...I know these people. I've helped them. They told
me to blow off," he waved his hand, "like that." He couldn't look me in
the eyes -- his shame was too great.
"...Alan," I said. "Look at me, Alan." He didn't. "Look... at... me."
He peeked up. Holy crap, I thought, I can see his son in him. "People
make mistakes when you don't give them time to think about things,
especially important things. A gaggle of your friends were wowed by
some pretty words for a moment, and then were asked to make a huge
decision. They're going to regret this, and a whole lot of people are
going to agree with them, and when they do, nobody's going to want to
follow this... Father Fitz-something any... more..."
I drifted off at the end there because I saw Father Fitzpatrick and the
huge mob that was following him. Alan and Gary soon saw them, too.
Fitzpatrick's mob pointed at us and cried out in unison.
"Oh, shit," the three of us said, also in unison.
"Brother!! Alan!! Carson!!" Father Fitzpatrick called out. I noticed
Junior to his left, his eyes glazed and fixed firmly on the ground, and
the ABCs to his right and just behind him, being held less-than-lovingly
by two men. Alan saw them too, and went pale. "A word, please!!" Alan
ran to get his girls, but was met by Father Fitzpatrick halfway.
I could barely hear their conversation. Alan growled something like
"...Rip your head-!!"
"...Not going to hurt your daughters. I'm here..." Father Fitzpatrick
looked at me.
Directly at me.
Alan traced his gaze. "...Not a threat!!"
"...Demon!!" Father Fitzpatrick stressed.
"Ossie-!!"
"-You will address me as 'Mr. Mayor,' Brother Alan! That, or 'Father!'"
Father Fitzpatrick strutted past Alan. Alan got his girls back...
...But he knew he was helpless for whatever came next.
Father Fitzpatrick strode directly toward me, his mob not far behind.
It was the torch-and-pitchfork variety of mob, with more than a few
assault rifles thrown into the mix. They were on the hunt for monsters,
and I was the creation of our very own local Dr. Frankenstein. What do
I do, I asked myself. If I barricade myself in Mariel's, they'll break
the door down!! If I run, they'll just shoot me in the back!!
I was frozen. I can't go anywhere!! I can't do anything!!
"-Faugh!!" Father Fitzpatrick cried after he got within a few feet of
us. He covered his mouth and nose with one hand. "You two!! What is
that foul odor?!"
"Bad decisions," I warbled.
"And poo," Gary also warbled.
He glared at the two of us. "You have been... copulating..."
"What?!" I cried.
"No!" Gary yelled.
"Ewwww!!" I added. Gary gaped at me, a little hurt.
"The foul aura around you confirms it!! Don't try to deny it!!" The
mob rumbled. Pitchforks and torches were raised. "Those who copulate
with demons... lie permanently with demons!" The rumble turned to a
low, continuous growl.
"...I am so sorry, Gary," I said.
"Eeegghhnn!" he whimpered.
And then...
...A voice arose on that street, drowning out all other noises.
"Whhhaaaaaat's uuuuuuuup Park-siiiiiiiiiiiiiii-eeeee-iiiiii-eeeeeee-
iiiiiidddd-ah?!" it cried out. The mob shrank in fright and turned
toward the source of the noise.
Toward Sky Tower.
And there, at its base, just outside the doors, was The Mistress, with
Teeny, Tiny, and Leviathan flanking her back and sides. In one hand she
held an intercom microphone which was connected by a curly black wire to
Teeny. Large speakers projected from his sides. Large miniguns
projected from his brothers' sides. "It's a beautiful morning, and I'm
sure many of you have hangovers!" she called out. "Let me adjust the
volume to make you feel better!" She tapped something into a control
panel on Teeny's side.
If the volume had been 1 before, she cranked it to 10. "IS THAT
BETTER?!" her voice roared across the city, followed by a loud feedback
screech. Everyone in attendance, except for The Mistress and me (I knew
enough about her to temporarily shut off my audio sensors), covered
their ears.
"There we go!" she said, the volume instantly returning to 1. "It
really is such a beautiful day! Yessir!" She glanced up at the sky.
"A beauuuutiful day!" The mob's attention was completely off me and the
Carsons. "I see you're harassing my Natsuko, there! Gonna attack her!
Gonna string her up and burn her!" She waved at me. "Hi, Natsuko!"
I weakly waved back. "...H-hi..."
"Yyyyyeah!" she said, then glanced up at the sky again, then back down.
Father Fitzpatrick bore his teeth and held his cross in front of himself
as he strode toward The Mistress. "Back, witch!!" he spat in roiling
fury as he walked up the plaza toward the tower. "I send you back to
the pits of Hades where you belong!!"
"Mmmmmm... no," The Mistress replied. "I like it here. Plus, rent is
higher in the pits of Hades."
Although Father Fitzpatrick was still quite some distance from her, he
shook holy water at her. "I send you back to the pits, so you can do no
more evil here!!"
"Evil?" The Mistress asked, then snapped her fingers. "Oh, yeah! I was
planning on doing evil today, wasn't I? Yeah, it was breakfast, then
shower, then read the paper, then evil, then buy stamps."
"You will not make a mockery of The Lord!!"
She was ignoring him (probably). "I'm gonna do some evil over there,"
she waved a little to her left, "then some evil over there," she waved
to her right, "then, like... a bunch of evil there," she waved her hand
in circles in front of her. "You'll come back later, and you'll be,
like, 'Wow! This place is at least... 85% more evil!'" She glanced up
at the sky.
A bullet struck the ground just a foot to her left, and she jumped a
little. "Hohcrap!" she chirped, then looked into the mob. "Leviathan.
Warning shot." The miniguns on Leviathan's side started to spin, and a
half-second of blazing fury poured out into the air above the mob. They
cried out and ducked, but nobody was harmed.
"Hands off your triggers, assholes!!" she snarled, before she turned
back to Father Fitzpatrick. She glanced up at the sky, then down at her
smart phone. She nodded. "Old holy douche. Leave Natsuko alone and
get the fuck outta here, or I summon a demon. Right here. Right now."
"Do your worst, you... whore of Satan!!" Father Fitzpatrick snapped.
"It's a big one! You might even know her!!" He looked slightly
confused. "Okay, you asked for it!!" She yanked on the microphone and
let it go, and it snapped back into Teeny. "Teeny!! Evil Mix!! Track
Five!!"
After that, two things happened.
First off, The Mistress danced to Fatboy Slim's "Weapon of Choice."
I'll let that sink in for a moment.
...
...
...
...
...You good?
Yeah, you're good.
I couldn't believe it myself. I heard sounds coming from Teeny, and I
thought it was just stuttery old audio that The Mistress had decided to
play for some reason. She was tapping her foot, though.
Then: "...Don't be shocked... by the tone... of my voice..." She
strutted down the stairs and shook her arms. "Check out my new
weapon... weapon of choice." She hopped on the railing halfway down and
slid the rest of the way.
My jaw dropped. I let out a snort, but I covered my mouth before I
could laugh. "Don't be shocked... by the tone... of my voice..."
Father Fitzpatrick was brandishing his cross as The Mistress tapped up
to him, adding a couple little twirls along the way. She was no
Christopher Walken, but she wasn't too bad. "Check out my new weapon...
weapon of choice... yeah."
"Back, witch, back!!" Father Fitzpatrick yelled. He took a couple steps
back himself as The Mistress continued her dance toward him, with her
robots rolling slowly along behind her and Teeny pumping out the music.
"Listen to the sound... of my voice... uhh! You can check it all out...
it's the weapon of choice... yeaaahh." She moonwalked closer to him
(and she was pretty good at that!).
Meanwhile, I looked around the crowd and saw frightened faces. People
praying. Tears. They were terrified by Fatboy Slim.
Fatboy.
Slim.
I clutched my hand over my mouth as hard as I could and thought, Oh.
My. Fucking. God. I suppose that, alone, could have counted as the
second thing. If so, then I'd like to amend what I said before: three
things happened.
Because as The Mistress danced, I saw three faces that didn't belong to
someone gripped by terror and/or confusion. Annabelle, Bee, and
Charlotte were intermittently watching The Mistress and looking up.
Charlotte whispered something to her sisters. They looked high up to
the north.
"You can go with this, or you can go with that." The Mistress wiggled
her fingers in the air. "You can go with this, or you can go with that.
You can go with this, or you can go with that, or you can go with us!"
I looked up and saw what (I thought) the girls saw.
There was the third thing, high above us: bright, colorful ribbons of
light in the sky, swirling above our heads. The Aurora Borealis, right
there in the middle of the day, just outside Sky Tower. The lights
seemed to condense into the shape of a half-ovoid with some kind of brim
around the flat end. "You could go with this, or you could go with
that."
Others were seeing what was happening in the sky, too; people were
turning their heads up and looking at the aurora, then looking back at
The Mistress with a growing horror that she was causing this phenomenon.
The half-ovoid seemed to be gaining features -- discs on its sides, like
ears, and a protrusion on its front, like a nose. "You could go with
this, or you could go with that. Or you could go with-bop-bop-boo-bee-
bop-"
A woman in the crowd looked up and saw the lights. Her eyes went wide
with terrible recognition, as if she had been violently mugged at one
point in the distant past, and now she saw the criminal again, alone in
a room with her. She pointed upward and screamed, "Wiiitch!!
Wiiiiiiitch!!"
Others looked up. "S-Sea Witch!! Oh, Jesus, it's the Sea Witch!!" The
crowd became agitated by intense fear. Two lines appeared in the center
of the ovoid. They opened...
...Into a gigantic pair of eyes that looked straight down. "Walk
without rhythm, and it won't attract the worm!" The flat, brimmed end
shaped into an enormous naval captain's hat over the eyes. "Walk
without rhythm, and it won't attract the worm!" Although the shape was
slightly fuzzy and indistinct below the eyes, it was definitely an
enormous human head hovering up there hundreds of feet in the air,
colored by the swirling rainbow lights of the aurora that formed it.
"Walk without rhythm, and it won't attract the worm!"
"It's the Sea Witch of Norfolk!! She's back!! Ohhhhhhh!!" Torches and
pitchforks were abandoned as the mob dispersed in a mad dash back toward
Parkside. "The Sea Witch of Norfolk is back!! Run!! Everybody
ruuuuuuun!!"
Father Fitzpatrick glared at the giant head in the sky. Its eyes turned
and looked back at him. He threw his cross up in front of him and cried
something unintelligible.
"If you walk without rhythm, huh, you never learn."
The music cut off. "I just summoned the Sea Witch of Norfolk,
asshole!!" The Mistress shouted. "What've you got?!"
A voice boomed down from the sky.
The fucking sky.
"HI."
Father Fitzpatrick took in a sharp, deep breath.
"Deeeeeeemmmmoooonnnn!!" he shrieked.
"UGH."
"Back!! To Hell!! With Yoooooooooooouuuuuuuuuuu!!"
"THIS ISN'T WHAT THIS IS USED FOR, METAL." I realized I recognized the
voice. The woman with the tight hair, shallow cheeks, and military
manner from the radio: the Sea Witch of Norfolk.
That's... her, I thought. It's definitely her.
But how is this possible?!
The Mistress quickly whipped her smart phone up to her face. "Ham it
up," she quietly growled.
"THIS IS DEGRADING."
"The guy's packing a piece!!" The Mistress whispered. "Ham-it-up!!" He
was -- I hadn't missed the lump under Father Fitzpatrick's robe at his
hip.
"UUUUGGGGHHHH..." Sea shook her head a little, then glared down at
Father Fitzpatrick. "...YOU... DOWN THERE... LEEEEEAVE THIS PLAAAACE."
"To hell with you, demon witch!!" he screamed back.
"HE'S NOT-"
"Ham!!"
"-AGH!! FINE!! ROLL ON F-X!!" Her eyes turned bright red. Her
indistinct lower face became pointed and serpentine, with a great forked
tongue poking out from between rows of shark teeth. The sky glowed red,
and columns of fire flanked her head. "OLD FOOL!! YOU ARE NOTHING BUT
AN INSIGNIFICANT ANT TO ME!! BOW BEFORE ME, THE ALMIGHTY SEA WITCH OF
NORFOLK!! STOP LAUGHING!!"
Who's laughing, I asked myself and looked around, but nobody was. I
could hear a chuckle coming from somewhere. Somewhere... above me? It
was a noise emanating from the Sea Witch, but it didn't sound like one
she was making; it sounded like background noise in the air around her.
"I AM THE ALMIGHTY SEA WITCH OF NORFOLK-FOLK-FOLK-FOLK-" her voice
suddenly lowered, and became more distant, "-Damn it, Rita, if you don't
stop laughing, Doug'll never have to clean another grease trap again,"
and back to booming,"-AND I WILL CRUSH YOU WHERE YOU STAND, YOU
SIMPERING COWARD-WARD-WARD-WARD!!"
The Mistress sighed. "You're already echoing, you dumbass."
A pause from Sea. Then she went wild. "AAAAAAAAHHHHHH-
WWWWWOOOOOOOOOO!!" she screamed, with fire and bats flying out of her
ears and mouth as the sky flashed and thunder clapped behind her, and
lions and bears roared in fury and wolves howled and chainsaws blared
and every God-damn scary thing happened at once in that maelstrom of
lights and rage in the sky.
Father Fitzpatrick was shaking badly. His eyes were widened in terror.
His grip on his cross slackened. He gripped his bible with his other
hand like a child clutching a teddy bear. Urine pooled around his feet.
In a moment, he turned heel and ran. But before he was out of sight, he
gathered enough of his limited courage to turn and shriek, "Alan!! I
know this isn't you!! But your son, Gary J. Carson, has fornicated with
demons!! For that, I banish him from Parkside, in perpetuity, under
penalty of death!!"
"SCRAAAAAAM!!" Sea roared, her giant snake-shark jaws descending toward
the man.
"Haaaahhhh-aaahhhh!!" Father Fitzpatrick screamed, and kept running.
And when he was out of sight, the fire and bats and crazy shit
stopped... well, except for the whole head-in-the-sky thing, that was
still there. Sea had returned to (relative) normal. "...GOOD. NOW
THAT THAT'S OUT OF THE WAY... METAL. I WANT SOMETHING IN RETURN."
"I don't owe you shit!!" The Mistress snapped into her smart phone.
"I WANT YOU TO LEAVE PARKSIDE UNBLOCKED. THERE'S GOING TO BE A
SNOWSTORM IN THE AREA IN THREE DAYS-" Alan, already looking pale and
fearful, let out a cry of anguish, "FOLLOWED BY A HIGHLY-POSSIBLE ICE
STORM."
It was all too much for Alan. "No!!" he cried as he held his head in
his hands and sank against a wall. His children stood by his side.
"No-no-no-no!!"
I wondered, What the hell?
"WHEN THESE THINGS HAPPEN, THESE PEOPLE NEED TO KNOW ABOUT IT. IT'S A
FARMING COMMUNITY. IT MATTERS TO THEM."
"They don't want you!" The Mistress replied.
"NOBODY DOES."
"I don't want you!!"
"I DON'T CARE. BLOOD WANTS YOU TO STOP MESSING WITH THE HOLO-SATS."
Her eyes turned red. "SO STOP MESSING WITH THE HOLO-SATS!!"
The Mistress started to say something, but stopped. "...Fine!" she
grumbled. "But see if you like it when I start broadcasting Queen to
your ship 24/7!"
"I HATE QUEEN."
"I know! And I've got a whoooole playlist for you to listen to!"
A pause from Sea. "GOODBYE, METAL," she grumbled. Her head de-
coalesced, and in a swirl of lights and color, the aurora vanished into
nothing.
And I was left... flabbergasted.
I looked around for a curtain, and for a small dog that could pull it
aside to reveal the real Sea Witch of Norfolk, but I saw neither of
those things. Could she be another street over, I thought, or maybe up
in Sky Tower? From the way the Parksiders spoke of her and The Mistress
spoke to her, however, it looked like she'd be an unwelcome guest no
matter where she went around here. Plus, it didn't explain the aurora.
It didn't make sense. Nothing made sense.
Alan was sobbing. Gary was in a state of shock. The ABCs were trying
to comfort their dad and figure out what the hell was going on. "...A-
Alan-" I started to say.
"Welp!" The Mistress chirped, and clapped her hands together. "Mob
dispersed, problem solved!" She turned to her robots. "Bonfire Morning
is over, boys. Stand down." Tiny and Leviathan's miniguns rolled back
up into their bodies.
"Bonfire Morning?" I asked.
"It's code for when people get sick of burning fake witches and want the
real thing! Or," she waved her hand at me, "...you know... their...
associates."
I breathed out. I couldn't believe I was about to say this and actually
mean it, but, "Thank you, Mistress."
"No problem, Natsuko. Those Parksiders try to-Holy Hell in a handbasket
girl, what the fuck is that smell?!"
"Shattered hopes and dreams," I mumbled.
"And poo!" Gary chimed.
The Mistress gagged. "...Teeny! Soap! Water! Fuckloads of both on
the double, agh-gah!" Teeny turned and rolled quickly back to Sky
Tower. "You went to the hospital, didn't you?" she asked. I froze.
"That's the last place I smelled anything so nasty. What the fuck did
you go up there for?"
"Ahhh... I... wanted to see where Miki-chan came from."
"...Oh." This seemed to be an acceptable answer. "Has, uh... Miki-
chan... said, or... done... anything..." She paused. "Ah... you know
what, don't tell me. Don't. I... I can't, I mean I don't... ah." She
waved a hand dismissively. "Y-you got the parts for the glider?"
"Yes, Mistress."
"Gimme the key, then. I don't want you getting your stink all over
them." She held out her hand.
...And that was it for my private sanctuary. She knew about it, and she
wanted in. Trying not to look too apprehensive, I handed her the key to
the padlock. She strode past Alan into Mariel's, unlocked the padlock,
opened the door, and switched on the lights. "...Niiiiice!" she called
back. "You used Miki-chan for inspiration! Kinda bulky, though. I can
see, like... three things, no, four things that won't work, right off
the bat."
She offered surprisingly soft and constructive criticism of my robot,
but I wasn't paying attention. I whispered, "Alan, what's-"
"-That was the Sea Witch of Norfolk," he mumbled.
"I know, but why's everyone so scared of her?"
He looked at me with disbelief. "She's the Storm-Bringer! The
Destroyer of Cities!" I was totally clueless. "She summons hurricanes!
Blizzards!" He jerked his hand at the sky. "Ice storms!!"
It was my turn to look at him disbelievingly. "...Alan... she can't do
that. She's a meteorologist."
"A meteor-what, now?!"
"Meteorologist. She doesn't summon weather, she predicts it. She
observes stuff like... clouds, wind speed, temperature, a hundred little
things like that, then she uses that stuff to predict what the weather
will be like a day or two days or a week from today." I peeked back at
The Mistress, who was still preoccupied with my robot and the little
shop I had set up. "She's a scientist!" I whispered. "Only she doesn't
make stuff! She looks at what's going on, then she takes a guess at
what it'll be in the future!" He still looked doubtful. "Alan, if she
wanted to kill you with an ice storm, why the hell would she warn you
about it three days in advance? She'd simply kill you with an ice
storm!"
He didn't have a response for that.
"Nat-su-ko!" The Mistress said, popping out of Mariel's. She flicked
the key at me as Leviathan came rolling out carrying the box full of
glider parts I had collected earlier. "Lock up, then let's go home."
I looked at the key, then I looked at Alan, then I looked at Gary.
And I gave the key to Gary.
"...Nnno, you lock up, Natsuko," The Mistress said.
"He can stay there," I said. Gary's eyes went wide. "He needs a place
to sleep, at least until the heat dies down in Parkside." Alan nodded.
The Mistress huffed. "That isn't your decision to make."
"But I set up Mariel's."
"My stuff is in there."
I felt some of my hope drain just before I said it: "Then I'll move it
out."
"I don't want you to!" I paused and stared at her. She sighed.
"...You got a nice little shop set up in the