Nikki, Part 13 free porn video

"Ugh," I moan as my alarm clock wakes me at 7am for what feels like the millionth consecutive day. "Morning babe," Sarah tiredly moans, wrapping her arms around my naked body and giving me a slow, soft kiss on my neck. "Hey," I reply, blinking the tiredness out of my eyes. "Looking forward to today?" "Been looking forward to it since I left in June," Sarah giggles. "Just wish you were coming with me..." "I know," I sigh. "Kinda wish I was coming too..." "No you don't," Sarah says, giving me a playful push. "You know EVERYONE would kill to have your job!" "...And you'd kill me if I ever quit it, right?" I ask, giggling as I head into the shower, my girlfriend following close behind me. "The last two months have been AMAZING," Sarah gushes. "They've been hard work!" I yell over the sound of the roaring water. "Hey, I haven't exactly been sat on my arse all summer!" Sarah complains. "Well, apart from that week in LA..." "I know, I know," I laugh. After I finish in the shower, Sarah takes her turn, which allows me to dry myself off and get ready for the day. I tie my long brown hair back into a professional ponytail and apply a full layer of make-up, including a natural eyeshadow and thick red lipstick, before pulling on a comfortable white bra and thong set and a pair of barely-black tights. My breasts have grown even more over the last three months and are now a large B cup- big enough to create a noticeable shape under everything except the baggiest sweater. It's thankful that I have a new job, as I may soon need to buy a whole new drawer full of bras! After re-touching my long, crimson fingernails I pull on a short grey pencil skirt followed by an opaque white blouse and a pair of 2" heeled pumps. The whole look is much too mature for a 17 year old girl- let alone the 17 year old boy I'd have been if I hadn't had the courage to live my life the way I always wanted- but I do need to look professional in my role as PA to the hottest modelling clique in the whole of Britain! "Mmm, sexy secretary!" Sarah coos, giving me a cuddle before dressing in a plain, casual miniskirt and long-sleeved top. "Personal assistant," I say, correcting my lover. "And look at you, sexy student!" "Still can't believe this is it," Sarah sighs. "My final year..." "'Final year' minus at least three years of uni!" I laugh, wrapping my arms around Sarah's neck and giving her a soft kiss. "Yeah, but it's not the same..." Sarah sighs. "Oh, stop being so melodramatic," I chastise, grabbing my packed handbag and my work iPad. "We made great friends at college, didn't we? I'm sure you'll meet some equally awesome people at uni. And you and Lauren are applying to the same places, aren't you?" "Yeah, that is true," Sarah says. "Where do you need dropping today?" "Same studio as last Wednesday," I say. "And yes, I will be claiming the petrol expenses!" Sarah giggles happily as we drive into the busy morning streets of London. I take a deep breath as I enter the studio. I wasn't kidding when I told Sarah that my job was hard work- each week, the Angels decide how to divide my time and I have to ensure I'm everywhere they need to be ahead of time to see that all their requirements are met, whether it's an appropriate dressing room for a photoshoot or dietary requirements for a caterer, the girls need a LOT of things prepared for them before they can do their work, and as PA, I'm the one who gets it in the neck if anything is out of place. After bringing up today's checklist on my iPad, I stride up to the bored-looking woman behind the counter. "Hi," I say to the receptionist. "I'm Nikki Thomas, PA for Hannah Dexter." "Hi," the receptionist says, suddenly a lot brighter and more cheerful when she hears who I represent. "Yes, yes of course! This way please, Miss Thomas." I can't help but smirk as the receptionist- who has to be in her thirties- addresses me as 'Miss Thomas'. Even as soon as eighteen months ago, the thought that anyone might address me as 'Miss' without question was pure fantasy, let alone in a professional capacity! "Here's the dressing room," the receptionist says, showing me the plush pink room. "Italian coffee?" I ask. "Of course," the receptionist simpers. "We've also got pink wafer biscuits, I remember reading somewhere that she liked them." "Very nice touch!" I say with a warm smile. "Show me the wardrobe space." "Right here," the receptionist says, opening a cupboard to show ample space for the outfits Hannah will be bringing along. "Very good," I say, checking off everything on my iPad and sending a message to the model I'm 'looking after' today. "I'll be honest," the receptionist says, "I expected the list to be a LOT longer." "Expecting the Angels to all be divas?" I ask with a giggle. "They're all really down to earth, actually." "I know, I watch their show," the receptionist giggles. "Must be so cool to be part of such a close-knit group of friends like that." "Yeah," I sigh as I remember the three girls who will be at college today WITHOUT me- and the other 'New Angel' who I'm still forbidden from having any solo contact with. I'm brought out of my daydream by a bleep from my mobile phone. "Whoops, looks like it's show time," I say with a smile as I quickly head back to reception, where my 'charge' for the day is waiting for me. "Hi Hannah!" I say to the tall, platinum blonde girl. "Hi Niks!" Hannah says, greeting me with a quick hug, despite the garment bags she's holding. "Mind the dresses!" I say, carefully taking the garments off of the excited girl. "Your dressing room's all ready, I've got some coffee on the go, I'll just hang these up and leave you to get ready, okay?" "God, what would I do without you?" Hannah giggles. "Me or any of the other Angels, anyway!" "You'd iron your own dresses after crinkling them up hugging people whilst holding them!" I joke. "Okay, MUM," Hannah says with mock-offence, before giggling even harder than she was before. "Anything else you need?" I ask as I hang up Hannah's beautiful dresses. "You've got a great selection here..." "Thanks!" Hannah replies. "And no, I think I'm good." "Right, I'll leave you in peace to get changed," I say. "See you on set!" "See you there, 'mum'!" Hannah jokes as I leave the dressing room. In truth, I don't mind being seen as 'team mum', even though I'm considerably younger than all six girls. It's better than the alternative of 'team little sister'... and the other alternative, 'team little brother' doesn't even bear thinking about. And yet, as Hannah and I leave the studio after a successful interview, her mostly-unworn dresses draped over my arm and notifications bleeping on my iPad, I find myself missing being 'one of the girls' more than ever. I had a gang, just like the Angels- 'had' being the operative word. "Need me to drop you anywhere?" Hannah asks as she gets in the driver's seat of the bright pink ex-London cab. "Umm," I say, checking my watch. It's 11:45- lunch time at college is 12pm, no doubt the other four 'New Angels' will be congregating there soon- but there's no way I can get there in fifteen minutes. "Nah," I sigh. "Just drop me home, please." "Can do!" Hannah says with a cheeky smile. "Even though as PA it should be YOU in the front seat driving ME!" "Once I pass my test, I promise," I giggle. "Need to get through my theory first..." "How many times have you taken it now?" Hannah asks. "Twice," I sigh. "I hate exams." "Yeah, I didn't pass my theory first time either," Hannah says. "Unlike Viks, who of course breezed through it AND passed her practical test first time with no minors!" "Yeah," I say, thinking of my friends at college. "Some people are just better at academic stuff than others..." As the cab drives down the street adjacent to my old college, a wave of emotion sweeps over me, and before I can check what I'm doing, I've leaned forward, knocking on the driver's window. "Actually, can you drop me here, please?" I ask. "Are you sure?" Hannah asks. "It's still about a mile to your home, that's not going to be fun in heels..." "I've got a spare pair of flats in my bag," I reply. "I just- I just need to see someone, that's all." "Okay," Hannah says, pulling up at the side of the road and letting me out. "See you later, Niks!" "See you, Han," I reply, taking a deep breath and walking down the back street toward my college. Sure enough, once I get near the front door, I see a familiar tall, slender blonde girl leaving the front entrance. Even though I know I shouldn't- and I could get in a LOT of trouble if I'm found out- I increase my pace- giggling at the conspicuous clicking of my heels on the pavement- to catch up to the teenager. "Hey Dannii!" I say, catching the tall girl by surprise. "Oh, hey Nikki," Dannii says with obvious surprise in her voice. "What are you doing here? I thought you'd be hanging out with your new celebrity friends..." "Nah, I was only needed this morning," I reply. "Just been for lunch with the girls?" "Umm, yeah," Dannii says. "They're all excited about the new college year." "Oh, okay," I say, taken aback by Dannii's uncharacteristic bluntness. "Did- did they say anything about me?" "No, not really," Dannii replies with what looks like a smug smile. "Really?" I ask. "Not even Sarah?" "She may have mentioned something," Dannii says. "I wasn't really listening. Look, Nikki, I can't really hang around, I'm off to a photoshoot this afternoon. You know, actual MODELLING work for Joshua Benedict. Say hi to the Angels for me!" "Will do," I wave as Dannii walks off. When I first told her- and the other girls- about my job, they were all excited, none more so than Dannii. But now... I've never known her to be as hostile to me. This is the girl who nearly turned lesbian to be with me... Now she can't stand to be around me? Remembering Hannah's advice, I swap my heels for the ballet flats in my bag and walk the rest of the way home, where I immediately switch on my computer and starting writing my latest Teen Globe column. From the Angels' perspective, I may be just a PA, a hanger-on, but I do have some limited fame in my own right, even if it just amongst pre-teen girls- some of whom will be starting their first or second years of secondary school today and might want some of my 'words of wisdom'. I even correspond (through Teen Globe, obviously) with a few transgendered schoolgirls. There's one girl I've grown particularly fond of called Laura who had a hell of a first year at secondary school- I just hope her second year goes more smoothly. After finishing my column and my correspondence, I change out of my 'work clothes' into a comfortable white long-sleeved top and a knee- length grey pinafore dress, heading downstairs just in time to catch dad coming home from a long shift behind the wheel of his taxi. "Morning!" I joke as I crash on the sofa, my non-work iPad in hand. "Don't start," dad sighs. "Long day?" I ask. "Had better, had worse," dad laughs as he makes himself a drink. "How was today's round of babysitting celebrities?" "It's a bit more involved than just babysitting celebrities!" I retort. "Though to answer your question, it was good, thanks." "Good," dad says, relaxing into his chair. "You cleared out your room yet?" "Dad!" I chastise. "We're not moving for another 2 weeks!" "Yeah, so the earlier you get it done, the better!" dad laughs. "I would say 'just leave a few essentials unpacked' but looking at the amount of make-up you're wearing that'd probably be an entire chest of drawers!" "Hilarious," I sigh. "Nikki..." Dad says, sensing that I'm not in the mood for his usual teasing. "Is everything okay?" "No," I say, before sighing. "Yes. You know everyone went back to college today..." "Everyone... Except you?" Dad asks softly. "Yeah," I say. "I've never really had a close group of friends before, certainly not at school, I just- god, this sounds stupid- I just really thought we'd be companions for life." "There's no reason you can't hang out together," dad says. "I mean, Sarah works closely with one of these friends, right?" "Yeah, that's true," I reply. "And you still see them at ballet, right?" Dad asks. "No," I sigh. "Not yet, anyway, Katie and Dannii are in a more advanced class than me, Lauren doesn't go at all..." "I hardly ever see my old school friends any more," dad says. "If it wasn't for Facebook I'd probably have no contact with them whatsoever. But they're still my friends, and they always will be." "Um, thanks, I think?" I reply. "My point is," dad continues, "that just because you won't be spending every waking second with each other, it doesn't mean that you're not still friends. And you've got the day off tomorrow, go and surprise them at college!" "Will do," I say with a wide smile. Twenty minutes later, my smile grows even wider as Sarah walks through the front door and I greet her with a long, lazy kiss. "Hey," Sarah giggles. "I REALLY missed you today... College just isn't the same without you there." "I missed you too," I sigh as we collapse back down on the sofa together. "Didn't realise how much I missed college until today..." "Everyone else missed you too," Sarah said. "Lauren, Dannii and especially Katie. We're meant to be the fab five, after all!" Really? That's not what Dannii said... Though obviously I'm not going to tell Sarah that I ran into her today. "Maybe I should drop in for lunch tomorrow?" I ask with a cheeky grin. "You know, 'do a Dannii'?" "As long as that's her only trait that you copy!" Sarah giggles. "But that'd be nice..." We spend the rest of the evening cuddling on the sofa- Sarah occasionally breaking away to sketch down ideas for her course- before heading to bed just after 10pm. As I cuddle up next to Sarah under the covers, I can't help but sigh happily, especially as she playfully wraps an arm around my naked body. "...I don't mind if you cop a feel," I whisper, making us both giggle. "They're almost as big as mine," Sarah giggles as she gently rubs my nipples, making me shiver with excitement. "When was the last time you actually wore your falsies?" "Oh, months ago now," I laugh. "Doctor reckons they won't grow that much more- I might end up a C cup, but I've been on hormones now for 16 months, any major physical change has already happened." "You... You don't want implants then?" Sarah asks delicately. "Don't really feel I NEED them," I reply. "Yes, I know Jamie has them, and she's my idol etc. etc. But I'm happy with my body the way it is." "100% happy?" Sarah asks, making me sigh sadly. "There is ONE thing I'd change," I moan. "There's a part of me that can't believe you'd actually have it done," Sarah muses, playfully massaging my one last remnant of masculinity. "I mean, sometimes I forget that you've wanted to be a girl since long before we first met." "I've been so much happier since the hormones have kicked in," I sigh happily. "It's like, this is who I was always meant to be. You saw how depressed I'd get before I came out, right?" "It was heart-breaking," Sarah whispers, continuing her 'playing'. "Then again, whenever I did what I'm doing now, I'd get at least SOME reaction..." "Trust me, there is a reaction, even if it's not obvious!" I giggle, giving Sarah a long kiss. "Get some sleep, babe." "Goodnight, sexy girl!" Sarah giggles, giving me a long, deep kiss before rolling over and quickly falling asleep. "Do you, Sarah Jennifer Phillips," the minister says, "take this woman, Nicola Christine Thomas, to be your lawful wedded wife?" "I do," Sarah says. "And do you, Nicole Christine Thomas," the minister says to me, "take this woman, Sarah Jennifer Phillips, to be your lawful wedded husband?" I take a long, lingering look at Sarah- unlike me, she's not wearing a pristine white wedding dress, but is instead wearing the smart tuxedo of a groom. And yet... Everything about this feels so right. "I do," I whisper nervously. "You may kiss the bride," the minister says. Immediately, Sarah grabs my suddenly-small frame and dips me backwards, kissing me deeply with the promise of much, much more... I blink the tiredness out of my eyes and stare confusedly at the still- slumbering form of my lover. In our relationship, even despite my change, it's always been the case that she's 'the girl' and I'm 'the boy', but as time's rolled on, that's become increasingly less the case. However, I've never before viewed myself as 'the girl' and Sarah as 'the boy'... Though that prospect excites me in a way I haven't felt since Sarah and I first started having sex. Sarah wakes a couple of hours later, showering and dressing in a fancy top and knee-length skirt she designed herself. I stay in bed, grateful for the lie-in, and see Sarah off with a lingering kiss. I eventually get up just under an hour later, showering and dressing in a pair of thick black tights, my favourite denim hot pants and a long-sleeved khaki top. I still apply a full face of make-up, of course, and when I head downstairs, I can't help but smile as dad doesn't even blink at my overtly feminine look for the day. It really is just like I've always been a girl. "Morning, sleepyhead!" Dad laughs as I slump on the sofa. "Don't get too comfortable, you're going driving in a bit." "What?" I complain. "I thought we were having a lesson tomorrow?" "And we are," dad says. "No reason we can't have one today as well, so get your shoes on!" I sigh as I pad back upstairs and slip on a pair of ballet flats, but dad is, of course, right. When I was a boy, he'd always talk about how much he was looking forward to teaching me how to drive- and now I'm a girl, that's one of a very short list of things that hasn't changed with my gender. After 90 minutes of driving around the busy streets of West London, dad starts to direct me toward home, but a glance at the clock makes me speak up. "Actually," I say, "rather than home, can we go to my old college, please?" "Planning on surprising Sarah at lunch?" Dad laughs. "That is the plan," I giggle. "Go on," dad says, taking my place in the car's driving seat as I head into the vast dining hall. As I stride through the room, I can't help but feel the gazes of the 16 and 17 year old boys find my feminine body. This had happened when I attended last year, of course, but I always actively ignored the attention. I try to ignore it now, but there's a niggling part of my brain that craves it... However, it's not a boy that I'm here to see. "Hey girlies!" I squeak excitedly as I sit down next to Sarah, opposite Katie and Lauren. "Hey," Katie says coolly. "Long time no see..." "Not too busy hanging around with celebrities today, then?" Lauren asks with a sly smirk. "No," I giggle. "They've all got the day off, which means so do I!" Lauren and Katie both laugh, but it's a polite, restrained laugh. "Besides," Sarah says, "if you want to hang out with an Angel, just say the word and we'll put in a good word with our ballet teacher..." Lauren simply blushes and shakes her head. "I... am missing this place," I say, hoping to defuse some of the tension. "Especially you guys. But, you know, nothing lasts forever..." "Yeah, that's true," Lauren says with a smirk. "Not even your open invite to those celebrity parties?" Katie asks. "Oh please," I say dismissively, "I'm just a PA, it's not like I'm famous myself..." "Says the model with her own magazine column!" Katie retorts. "And it's not like we haven't hung out with the Angels from time to time..." Sarah boasts, giving me a brief cuddle- and souring Katie's facial expression. "I haven't actually DONE any modelling in ages..." I moan. "Kinda hoping to help you with your projects this year." "Sure," Katie says. "Give me Steve's number and I'll see how much I won't be able to afford you by!" "No," I sigh. "You know I'll do it for you for free..." "Ooh, very gracious of you," Katie replies sarcastically. "Girls," Lauren says firmly, shutting myself and Katie up. "Besides," Sarah says, "you've agreed to take photos for our website free of charge, haven't you?" "Yes," Katie sighs. "And with Nikki and Dannii modelling, it's a true 'New Angels' venture!" Lauren says, bringing smiles back to everyone's faces. "...Except you do pay Dannii a token fee, right?" Sarah asks. "...And you pay Nikki in product, what's your point?" Lauren asks, making everyone giggle. Despite the initial tension, I leave lunch with a smile on my face- and not just because of the male attention I'm grabbing. Dannii's 'irritation' yesterday had clearly rubbed off on Katie & Lauren- or the other way round, I'm not sure. Katie in particular seemed to take me leaving college almost personally- which is a bit unfair considering how much better she was at the work. After briefly returning home to check my messages on my iPad, I head over to Sarah's house, letting myself in with my key. Sarah herself returns a short while later with Lauren in tow. "Hey girlies!" I say, greeting Lauren with a hug and Sarah with a kiss. "Aww," Lauren coos as she sees us kiss. "Am I going to have Snikki's company tonight?" "Stop calling us that!" Sarah moans as she gets out her sketchbooks and sewing machines. "Never," Lauren giggles, flicking through her sketchbook to a page with a sketch of a gorgeous-looking asymmetrical green dress. "I should say though... Dannii may have invited herself around tonight." Sarah's facial expression suddenly becomes blank at the mention of her 'love rival'. "Fine," Sarah says. "So tonight's Snikki vs Launnii then?" I ask. "No, really, don't," Sarah says, concentrating hard on her work. "I figured that once we'd finished an item we could get two actual professional models to, well, model them," Lauren explains. "Yeah, it's cool," Sarah says, though she's clearly tense about Dannii and I being in the same room as each other- little does she know that Dannii herself isn't my biggest fan right now... Sure enough, when Dannii arrives an hour later, she greets both Lauren and Sarah with hugs, before sitting down as far away from me as possible. "So, Nikki," Dannii asks. "Which Angel were you clinging onto today?" "Day off," I say smugly. "Only Angel I'm clinging onto today is a 'New Angel'!" I slide up next to Sarah and give her a quick cuddle, bringing the smile back to her face and deepening Dannii's frown. "Except we'll never be the 'New Angels'," Dannii sighs. "Not really, anyway." "Doesn't matter what we call ourselves," Lauren says with a grin. "As long as we're together, all five of us!" "Speaking of," Dannii says, "where IS Katie?" "Probably doing her work at home," Lauren muses. "Not like last year, when we'd all do our work together under one roof..." Even despite Lauren's positive attitude, I can't help but feel that that comment was directed squarely at me. "That's gonna be even more difficult when you're all at uni!" I joke, trying to defuse the tension. "Very true," Lauren concedes. "You know where you're applying to yet, Sarah?" "I really don't want to leave London," Sarah says. "For obvious reasons, yes!" I giggle girlishly as Sarah gives me a quick cuddle. "Aww," Dannii coos. "The more I see you together, the harder it is to figure out who's the girl in the relationship!" "That's the whole point of being a lesbian couple," I say smugly. "We're BOTH the girl." "Yeah, but that, you know, wasn't always the case, was it?" Dannii asks. "I'm not really comfortable talking about this," Sarah says coldly. "Not even amongst friends?" Lauren asks, before realising just WHICH friend of Sarah was asking the question. "...Umm, never mind. Sarah, have you made a start on that red skirt yet?" "Started AND finished," Sarah replies, the smile returning to her face. "Well then," Lauren says, "can we get one of our professional models to wear it, please?" Now giggling, Sarah steps out from behind her sewing machine and hands me a flimsy scarlet garment. Also giggling, I head into Sarah's downstairs toilet, stripping off my shorts and my tights and sliding the short skirt up my legs. I step out of the toilet and back into the 'workspace' in the kitchen, earning wolf whistles from all three girls as I parade around the room, showing off the skirt and- more importantly- my smooth, toned legs. "Now SHE'S got legs!" Dannii coos, despite Sarah's death glare. Come on, get some stilettos on and I'll photograph you! For, um, for the website." "It's okay, I can do it," Sarah says defensively. "Nah, you're busy with your work," Dannii retorts. "I'm no Katie but I can take a few photos..." With Lauren looking on expectantly, Sarah sighs. "You know where the screen and camera are," Sarah says, making Dannii giggle excitedly. A few minutes later, I'm stood in front of the white background, posing flirtatiously as Dannii takes photograph after photograph, mostly of my lower half, but a few full-body shots too. I spend the rest of the evening modelling Lauren & Sarah's 'hot off the press' creations. Even though they work very efficiently as a pair, in addition to the already-completed skirt they only manage to complete two further garments throughout the evening, a long-legged sleeveless floral playsuit that I model, and a cute backless leotard dress that Dannii models and flat-out refuses to take off after finishing the photographs, even after I demand a turn wearing it! Eventually, though, Dannii & Lauren leave- Dannii still wearing the dress, claiming she'll change at Lauren's house- and Sarah and I head to bed shortly afterwards, falling asleep in each other's arms after ending the day with an orgasm each... We're both awake early on Friday morning, Sarah for college and myself for work. After showering, pulling on a clean bra & thong set, tying my hair into a cute plait and applying a liberal amount of make-up, I pull on a pair of shiny black tights and a short black pencil skirt, following up with a cream coloured blouse and my cutest ballet flats. After grabbing my iPad and saying goodbye to Beverly, Sarah drives me to the photography studio where I ensure everything is ready prior to the arrival of my 'bosses' for the day. "Hey Nikki!" Viks says as she greets me in the studio's reception, with Charlotte following closely behind. "Love the hair!" "Hey girls!" I say happily. "Everything's all ready and waiting for you, the changing room is kitted out exactly the way you wanted, and they've also laid on the spare one in case it's too cramped." "Nah, I've been here before, it'll be fine for two," Charlotte says confidently. "Can you get me some water? I'm utterly parched this morning..." Smiling smugly, I reach into my handbag and pass Charlotte a bottle of her favourite brand of mineral water. "I don't care what Joshua says about his brand, YOU are the real Angel!" Charlotte says, eagerly gulping down the water. I stay with the girls throughout the morning, watching with envy as they model item after item of sexy lace lingerie. Both Charlotte & Viks help themselves to an armful of teddies, basques and corsets after the photoshoot ends, whilst I follow them with my handbag full of stationery and mineral water. "You okay, Nikki?" Viks asks as I lead her and Charlotte back to her car. "Yeah," I sigh. "Just... Professional envy, hehe." "Aww, sometimes I forget you're a model too," Charlotte says, giving me a quick hug. "When you turn eighteen I am SO getting you signed to Joshua, then you can do all the sexy lingerie shoots you want!" "Not sure my dad would approve of that!" I laugh. "No, but I'm sure your girlfriend would..." Charlotte teases, before handing me a small wrapped package. "I've... got enough lingerie at home." "Oh my god!" I squeak. "Thank you, thank you so much!" "Just be sure to hide it from your dad!" Charlotte jokes as she gets in Viks's car. "And take it easy on the drive home, my motion sickness is playing up again..." I slip Charlotte's gift into my handbag and walk the hundred metres down the street to where my father is waiting in his car. With a sly smile, I slip my handbag- complete with its 'secret'- onto the back seat of the car and get in the driving seat, driving away for the next hour and a half before being dropped at Doctor Williamson's office. "Hi Nikki!" The middle-aged woman greets me as I enter her office, crossing one leg over the other as I sit down in her comfortable chair. "You're looking well today." "Thanks," I say to my counsellor as I smooth my skirt over my legs. "Yeah, just been at work, had a driving lesson... Been really busy this week!" "You do look increasingly happy now that you're working," Dr Williamson notes. "This week would've been the first week back at college, wouldn't it?" "Yeah," I sigh. "That's kinda caused some problems, actually." "Go on," Dr Williamson says. "It's just my friends feel I've abandoned them," I moan. "They haven't said as much but they're clearly unhappy that I've not gone back. That, and I'm now working with the Angels, they're all big fans of the Angels..." "You think they're envious of your new job?" Dr Williamson asks. "It's a safe assumption," I sigh. "Have you talked to them about this?" My counsellor asks. "Not yet," I reply. "I'll get them on Facebook tonight. I- I really don't want to lose my friends, that's the thing..." "It's understandable," Dr Williamson says. "They were the first close group of friends you made since your coming out, aren't they?" "Yeah," I say. "We met on the first day of college last year and just hit it off from there... Though the 'Dannii incident' in February should've been a clue that it was the beginning of the end..." "Friends will occasionally fall out," Dr Williamson says comfortingly. "If you just talk it through, I'm sure you'll all eventually be happy with the new arrangement." "Yeah, I guess," I reply. "Speaking of new arrangements... I've been finding myself getting different 'urges' lately..." "Sexually?" Dr Williamson asks delicately. "Yeah," I reply. "Well, yes AND no... I'm still 'active' with Sarah, I'm still only attracted to women, but... I'm finding male characteristics increasingly attractive." "That's understandable," Dr Williamson says. "Biologically, we are hard- wired to find characteristics of the opposite sex attractive for procreation. Yes, people like yourself are homosexual, but generally speaking, female brains are attracted to male characteristics and vice versa." "So you're saying... I shouldn't be afraid of these feelings?" I ask. "Afraid, no," Dr Williamson confirms. "Though it may help to analyse these feelings- and your feelings for Sarah- to help you understand them better." After an hour of psychoanalysis, I leave the office feeling slightly less confused about my feelings, but still troubled about the disintegrating relationship between myself and my friends. As it's late afternoon- well past lunch time- I head home, where I change into a comfortable long-legged playsuit similar to the one I modelled last night and crash on my sofa, iPad in hand. I've barely finished checking my messages when the front door opens and my mum- and her very visible bump- steps through the front door. "Hey mum," I say, helping her with her coat as she sits down. "Oh for god's sake," mum sighs, "I'm pregnant! I'm not an invalid!" "I'm just being a good daughter," I argue. "That'd certainly explain why you're dressed like a 4 year old!" Mum jokes. "This is a fashionable playsuit, not a romper," I complain. "And your pigtail?" Mum asks, stroking my long, brown hair. "PLAIT," I correct my parent. "Did you tie it yourself, or did Sarah?" Mum asks. "Myself," I say with pride. "Guess that's one of the mother-daughter experiences we never had, me plaiting your hair," mum muses. "Well lucky for you you've got sixteen years of that coming up shortly," I laugh, before turning my attention to mum's bump. "Isn't that right, sis?" "Yes, yes," mum jokes as I crash back down on my sofa. "Are you, you know, pleased that she's a girl?" I ask cautiously. "Why wouldn't we be?" Mum asks. "Our first daughter turned out alright, and as we've said countless times, SHE'S NOT A REPLACEMENT FOR YOU." "I know, I know," I sigh. "Have you decided on a name yet?" "You ask me that every day!" Mum laughs. "And the answer is still no." "I can't wait to be a big sister," I say with a smile. "You're going to be a great big sister," Mum says. "I'm glad you're not moving out, not just yet." "Just remember I work full-time," I giggle, "so I'm not going to be available to babysit 24/7!" "That's what maternity leave's for," mum laughs, standing up. "You ready for dinner? And before you say anything, yes, I AM going to cook it." "Please," I say, knowing better than to argue with my mother. As my mum heads into the kitchen, I open up Facebook on my iPad and compose a new message to Katie. 'Hey girlie,' I type with a smiley face. 'Hey Nikki,' Katie replies. The conversation pauses briefly as I wait for Katie to reply, but when she doesn't, I type out a message. 'Sorry I couldn't come to lunch today,' I type. 'Was busy all day.' 'It's fine,' Katie replies, leading to another pause. 'Are you busy with work right now?' I ask. 'Sorry if I'm interrupting anything.' 'No, it's fine,' Katie replies, though I can tell- even from text- that it's NOT fine. 'Katie...' I type. 'Are we okay? Because you seem, you know, kinda distant...' 'I'M not the one who distanced myself from the group,' Katie snipes. 'Is this about my new job?' I ask. 'You knew how badly I was doing at college, we can't all be as talented as you!' 'If you were having that many problems, you'd have asked for my help,' Katie replies. 'I didn't want to be carried through college,' I type. 'If I was going to pass, I'd want to do it on my own merit, not off the back of someone else's work. I'm sorry if you feel that I've let you down somehow. I'll still model for you, of course.' 'Would Steve approve?' Katie asks, and suddenly I have a revelation- Katie has always considered herself to be a model, and yet unlike myself or Dannii, doesn't have any professional representation... 'I don't mind putting in a word with Steve,' I type. 'I'm sure he'd be happy to add you to his books.' 'Thanks, but if I'm going to get professional representation, I'd want to do it on my own merit,' Katie replies, making me wince as my own words are turned against me. 'Nikki, I'd prefer it if you didn't come to lunch any more.' 'I come to lunch for Sarah,' I type. 'Well what you two do is up to you,' Katie replies. 'I have to go now. Goodbye, Nikki.' Katie almost immediately signs out of the messaging app and I collapse back onto the sofa, groaning with frustration. Next to Sarah, Katie was probably my best friend... I'd never even considered that she might have this big a problem with me. Was it my ego that caused me not to realise that she might be unhappy being in my shadow? Was it Katie's ego making her envious? Either way, I'm going to have to give her- and our precious lunch hours- space for a while... Sarah comes home just before dinner, and after eating- and talking through the 'Katie issue' with Sarah- we head to bed. After stripping naked, however, I remember Charlotte's earlier gift to me. "Babe?" I ask. "Can you give me a sec?" "Umm, sure," Sarah says confusedly, sliding out from underneath the bed sheets and heading into the bathroom. Grinning wickedly, I unwrap the delicate items, and my heart flutters when I see them for the very first time. I slide the see-through black teddy up my legs, loving the feeling of the mesh fabric stretching over my body and the feeling of the delicate lace back nestling between my buttocks. I roll the dark hold-up stockings up my legs, before slipping my feet into my highest-heeled stilettos. After fixing my make-up and nail polish and spraying on a cloud of my sweetest perfume, I untie my plait and tie my hair into a high updo. Confident that I am every inch the sex kitten I always wanted to be, I pull the sheer peignoir over my head and recline on my bed. "I'm ready," I purr. "Okay, what the big sec- whoa..." Sarah gasps as she sees me splayed out on the bed in all my glory. "Package for Miss Phillips," I coo as Sarah stands in the doorway, her mouth agape. "Aren't you going to unwrap it? Or rather, aren't you going to unwrap ME?" Visibly shivering with excitement, Sarah takes me in her arms and kisses me long and deep. I remain completely passive as I allow her tongue to probe my mouth and her fingers to explore my body. Before too long, my peignoir is on the floor and my breasts have been freed from the teddy. I pant with excitement as Sarah kisses my nipples, gently tugging on them with her lips. It doesn't take long for the teddy to join the peignoir, and not much longer for me to reach a powerful orgasm- a 'favour' I immediately return. "I'll say again: whoa," Sarah says as she lays back in bed, panting heavily. "Sarah," I ask, gently stroking her bare belly, "this is going to sound so weird, but- are you gay?" "Umm," Sarah mumbles. "Bit of a left-field question that!" "Yeah, but it's a simple yes or no, surely?" I reply. "I mean, I consider us to be a lesbian couple." "I do too," Sarah says, but I can tell from her tone that she's not completely convinced. "Are you sure?" I ask. "I mean, worst case scenario, something happens to me and you move on, would it be with another girl?" "I wouldn't move on," Sarah says firmly. "You asked me if I'm a lesbian, and the answer is no. I'm not homosexual... I'm Nikkisexual. I don't fancy 'men' or 'women'... I only love you." My heart melts and I nearly cry at this profound declaration of love. "I only love you," I whisper back. "Call me 'Sarahsexual'!" Sarah giggles, before rolling over and giving me a long, deep kiss. "You know," Sarah says, "it IS Friday night... Six months from now we'll both be eighteen, reckon you can get Jamie to invite us on a famous Angels girls night out?" "I can ask, I guess," I say. "I mean, we've been to the occasional girls night in, I don't think they'd have THAT big a problem with it... Though that'd no doubt just drive Katie further away..." "HER problem," Sarah says smugly. "Yeah, but..." I sigh. "No buts," Sarah says with a grin. "She'll also be eighteen by then, we'll just have to ask if she can come too!" I grin as I give Sarah another kiss, before we fall asleep in each other's arms. I wake up on Saturday morning still wrapped in Sarah's soft embrace. I smile tiredly as I gently pepper her neck and shoulders with kisses, my heart fluttering with every sleepy moan she makes before she herself wakes up and gives me a gentle, lingering kiss on my lips. "Shall we just, you know, not get up today?" I ask. "Ugh, if only," Sarah moans. "Some of us don't have part time jobs but still have to find money from somewhere!" "Oh come on," I complain. "You and Lauren are surely making enough money from your online store?" "Yeah," Sarah concedes, "but it's not exactly guaranteed money..." "I can always buy some more dresses if need be," I joke. "Hehe," Sarah giggles, giving me a quick kiss as she gets up and heads to the shower, and another kiss after she dresses and drives off to her day out. I stay in bed a while longer, getting up just after 10am, showering and dressing in a very loose, comfortable t-shirt dress (I don't even both with any make-up) before switching on my computer and getting down to work. I still have a column for Teen Globe Magazine that needs writing, I still have an increasingly-popular blog and YouTube channel that need maintaining (though obviously I'm not going to be making any vlogs without any make-up on) and I have a lot of spare time in which to do it, especially since I quit my own Saturday job! I've just about finished the first half of my column for next month when my train of thought is derailed by the new Facebook message notification on my phone. 'Hey Nikki, got a sec?' Reads the message from Jamie-Lee Burke. 'Sure,' I immediately reply. 'Didn't think I was needed today?' 'Nope, none of us are working,' Jamie types. 'And on that note, up for a girls night in tonight?' I giggle before typing my reply. 'You know I am!' I reply. 'Sarah's at her Saturday job all day but I'll text her and let her know.' 'Cool!' Jamie replies. 'See you at 7!' I grin as I return to my work- nights in with the Angels may not be as fun as their regular costume parties or their nights out- at least I assume not, given that I haven't attended either of those events yet- but they are very, very fun. After firing off a quick text message to Sarah telling to meet at Charlotte's house, I start typing again, but within 10 minutes I'm interrupted yet again by another Facebook message. 'Hey girlie!' Dannii's message reads. 'Sorry I've been such a cow earlier this week... Been working hard, something I'm sure you understand! I've got the house to myself tonight, so we're all having a New Angels get-together! See you at 7!' "Ah, shit," I whisper as I read the message- I want to mend bridges with Dannii more than anything, but if faced with the choice of a fun evening with the Angels or a tense evening with me and Katie and Sarah and Dannii at loggerheads... I know which one I'd choose. I'm about to text back an excuse when an idea suddenly pops into my head and I reopen the chat window with Jamie. 'Hey,' I type. 'Hey, what's up?' Jamie replies. 'Isn't Sarah able to make it tonight?' 'About that...' I type, hesitating before sending the message. 'I've kinda had a falling out with some of my friends lately... I think they're kinda envious that I get to work with you guys, could I invite them along? There's only three more of them, and they're all really cool, honest.' 'Hmm,' Jamie replies. 'You know if it was up to me I'd say yes- I trust you have good taste in friends! I'll ask Charlotte and the others if they wouldn't mind- it's her house so it should really be her who says yes or no.' 'Thanks!' I type. As much as the 'New Angels' may be annoyed- mostly at me- getting them into a proper Angels party, even if it is just a girls night in, will SURELY get me back in their good books. I keep writing for the next half hour but can barely concentrate, I'm that excited about the prospect of the 'big party'. When I hear my Facebook message alert chime a short while later, I almost jump out of my skin, but when I read Jamie's message, my heart sinks almost through the floor. 'Hi Nikki,' Jamie types. 'I've spoken to Charlotte, and she's sorry but between you and Sarah and Becca and Adeola, our girls nights have started to become pretty cramped as it is without adding an additional 3 girls. Maybe at some point in the future. Shall we still see you and Sarah tonight?' I pause to think- do I really want to snub Dannii's party? Then again, do I really want to risk driving a bigger wedge between myself and her and Katie? 'Sure, see you at 7!' I type with a smiley face, getting a smiley face in return from Jamie. 'Hi Dannii,' I type in reply to the tall, blonde girl. 'Sorry, but I can't make it tonight, Sarah's out all day. Do you want to grab lunch tomorrow, just the five of us? My treat.' 'Sure,' Dannii replies, before logging out. I've clearly annoyed her by 'snubbing' her, and she's a girl who is VERY unaccustomed to having people say no to her. After finishing my work and eating a light dinner, I change out of my slouchy dress into a cute pleated miniskirt, a pink t-shirt and high-heeled sandals- also taking the time to apply a full face of make-up, of course- before Sarah pulls up outside in her Mini. "Girls night!" Sarah squeaks excitedly as we drive off into the bustling streets of central London. "Girls night!" I reply, laughing happily. "I, um, should say that it wasn't quite the only offer we had tonight..." "Oh?" Sarah asks. "Are you FINALLY being invited to celebrity parties? Well, OTHER celebrity parties, anyway?" "Not quite," I say. "Dannii invited all of us to her house for a 'New Angels Summit'." "Ugh," Sarah spits. "Glad you chose the REAL Angels!" "I dunno," I moan. "I don't want to drive Dannii, Katie or Lauren any further away..." "As if any of them wouldn't have done the same!" Sarah laughs. "Dannii especially, she'd sell her own grandmother for the chance to hang out with the Angels." "I think I actually heard her say that once," I chuckle. When we arrive at Charlotte's mansion, we're greeted with hugs by the other girls present- obviously the host is there, as is Jamie, Krystie and Rebecca. "Is it just the six of us tonight?" I ask, feeling slightly offended that Katie, Lauren and Dannii were excluded on the grounds of space when there'd be fewer of us than normal even if they were present. "Yeah," Charlotte sighs. "Mary's at home looking after her baby, Hannah and Viks are on a double date, Addie's got something else on, she didn't say what." "You two should have brought your leos," Krystie jokes. "Could've given you an impromptu lesson in Charlotte's studio upstairs!" "We're still doing those foot-strengthening exercises you gave us," Sarah laughs. "You want us en pointe in two months, we'll get there!" Krystie giggles as we head into Charlotte's living room, collapsing heavily on one of her plush sofas. "I'll open the wine," Jamie says, before looking at myself and Sarah. "AND the fruit juice!" "Oh as if we've never drank alcohol before," Sarah laughs. "Yeah, well I refuse to be the one responsible for getting you pissed whilst underage," Charlotte retorts. "Though March 6th next year, I am SO getting you both hammered!" Sarah and I laugh excitedly as Krystie and Jamie leave for the kitchen. Sensing a rare opportunity to speak candidly to my 'idol', I excuse myself and follow the two women into the kitchen (earning myself a sharp pinch on the right buttock from Sarah as I stand up!). "Hey," I say to the two women as I enter the kitchen. "Need a hand in here?" "Nah, we're good," Krystie says. "Is this about the thing we talked about earlier?" Jamie asks. "...Kind of," I reply. Jamie exchanges a quick glance with Krystie, who simply nods and picks up the drinks. "Back to waitressing it is for me, then," Krystie giggles, leaving me alone with Jamie. "Did your friends know about your 'offer' before you asked me about it?" Jamie asks. "No," I say. "That's a level of awkwardness I'm glad I've avoided!" "Why have you been falling out?" Jamie asks, making me sigh and slump into a kitchen chair. "It's ever since I started working for you," I say. "Don't get me wrong, I love the job, I really do." "You're great at it, too," Jamie says. "Thanks," I continue. "But... I dunno. They're clearly envious- I mean, who WOULDN'T be? They think I'm going to abandon them and be this big celebrity who forgets about her friends..." "Um, you're not exactly a celebrity, no offence!" Jamie teases. "I know that and YOU know that," I laugh. "Doesn't help that I blew off a party with them to be here tonight..." "That... was probably a mistake," Jamie says. "How long have you known these girls?" "About a year," I say. "They're actually the first friends I made at college, the first friends who've only ever known Nikki, not Nick as I used to be." "That's a fairly big deal, then," Jamie says. "It is," I reply. "I think I've told you about them before, we called ourselves the 'New Angels'... One of us is even signed to Joshua." Jamie looks lost in thought for a second, almost as if remembering something, before her concentration returns. "Sorry," Jamie says. "Is that Dannii Samson?" "Yeah," I say. "You know her?" "Vaguely," Jamie says. "I've only met her a few times but she is a bit full-on. Kinda reminds me a bit of a younger, much less mature Charlotte, hehe." "...And she's the one who was hosting the party," I moan, making Jamie grimace. "It's not good," Jamie says, shaking her head. "And believe me, I'm speaking from experience. The Angels haven't always been the close-knit group of friends we are today." "I read your blog," I say shyly. "I know about you and Charlotte..." "Did you know about the falling-out I had with Krystie?" Jamie asks. I shake my head as a surprised expression creeps over my face. "Oh my god," Jamie laughs. "That was an EPIC falling-out. Lasted almost six months, in fact. Right at the back end of 2011, we'd agreed to do a joint calendar shoot, then Charlotte got me a professional calendar shoot for Christmas so I had to pick between rejecting Charlotte's gift or going back on the promise I made to Krystie..." "Oh shit," I whisper. "That's not a choice I'd ever want to have to make!" "Long story short, I picked Charlotte, and it took forever for Krystie to forgive me," Jamie sighs. Almost as if on cue, Krystie walks back into the kitchen, heading straight for the wine rack. "You have NOT drunk that all already?" I ask. "I'm just looking for some white," Krystie complains. "As you'll know when you get old enough to become winos like us!" "Hey Krys," Jamie says with a wicked grin on her face. "Remember my 2013 calendar?" "Ugh," Krystie snorts, rolling her eyes. "You know, and I'm not proud to say this, I was actually glad when that flopped..." "But our combined efforts now are much more successful, right?" Jamie asks. "Course they are!" Krystie giggles, giving Jamie a playful hug. "What's brought this on?" "Me," I say, sheepishly raising my hand. "I kinda... Blew off a party from my old college friends to be here tonight..." "BIG mistake," Krystie says, sitting down next to Jamie at the kitchen table. "Seriously, just don't let down your oldest friends. Right, Jamie?" "Thanks Nikki," Jamie laughs. "I'm gonna be apologising for this again for the next month..." "Aww," Krystie giggles, giving Jamie another hug. "Are these the same friends you wanted to invite along tonight?" I nod. "For what it's worth, I was all for it. Don't forget I've been teaching Dannii and Katie for months, yes, Dannii's a little intense, but I really, really like Katie." "She'd be so happy to hear you say that," I sigh happily. "Have you ever given her Steve's number?" "I'll be honest," Krystie grimaces, "I didn't actually she realise she was a serious model, I always thought she was happier behind the camera. I swear, first thing after the lesson on Monday, I'm giving her his card." I smile- even though they are my bosses, the Angels really do care for me as a friend. "Do something to make up to the girls," Jamie advises. "Already taken care of," I say smugly. "I'm taking them all out for lunch tomorrow." "Aww," Krystie coos unexpectedly. "This is so cool, you've got a real mentor and pupil thing going on!" "If you're saying I look like Yoda, I'm going to down that bottle in one and hit you over the head with it!" Jamie jokes, making the entire table laugh. "Hmm!" Krystie says in her best Yoda impression. "Drinking heavily, Jamie is!" "Come on, let's get back to the party," Jamie says, leading us back into the living room, where we laugh, gossip and drink the night away. Sarah and I eventually head back to her house just before 11pm, where we head almost immediately to bed. "No peignoir this time?" Sarah jokes as she cuddles her naked body up against mine. "It wouldn't be a 'special' package if you received it every night..." I joke. "Did you have anything planned for tomorrow?" "Nope," Sarah replies. "I was thinking of maybe driving to Milton Keynes to see Karl and Kerrie, but it is a long way..." "Okay," I say. "I had planned on having lunch with Katie, Lauren and Dannii, you know, to make up for tonight, but if you want to see your brother and sister-" "Nah, I'll go next weekend," Sarah says with a grin. "Don't really want to face 'the dragon' anyway. And lunch DOES sound nice." "It's settled then," I say, giving Sarah a quick kiss. "Get some sleep. Love you, babe." "Love you too," Sarah whispers, rolling onto her side and quickly falling asleep. We take the opportunity to sleep in on Sunday morning, neither of us wanting to let the other out of our arms. After (reluctantly) getting up just after 10am, we shower before dressing for the day. After applying a full face of make-up and touching up my nail polish, I pull on a comfortable black bra and thong set and translucent black tights, before pulling on a cute knee-length indigo dress. I wear a matching pair of heels- they're brand new but go so well with the dress, I can't not wear them! Sarah dresses similarly to me, only opting for clear tights and a dress with a light floral pattern that she made herself. "You really are the most beautiful girl in the world," Sarah sighs as she encircles my narrow waist from behind. "I'm IN LOVE with the most beautiful girl in the world," I say happily. "And once again, you're welcome to cop a feel!" Sarah giggles as she gently massages my left breast, before grabbing her handbag and car keys. We arrive at the cafe for lunch just before 12pm. Katie and Lauren are already there- gratifyingly, Lauren is also wearing one of her own dresses, whilst Katie's opted for a slightly more casual look with black tights, denim hot pants and a long-sleeved top. "Hey girlies!" I say excitedly. "Hey," Lauren replies with a neutral facial expression. Upsettingly, Katie doesn't reply at all. "Have you ordered yet?" Sarah asks. "Not yet," Katie replies. "We're waiting for Dannii, you know, so that everyone's here?" I grimace as I feel Sarah bristle at Katie's thinly- veiled accusation. "Did you have fun at Charlotte's last night?" Lauren asks, barely disguising her contempt. "It was okay," I say. "So you snubbed your friends for a night that was only 'okay'?" Katie retorts. "I'm sorry, okay?" I say. "I made a mistake, I should've come to Dannii's instead. Happy now?" "Umm, no?" Katie spits in my direction. "For what it's worth, I asked if you could come along too," I say. "All three of you." "And when they said 'no', you went along anyway?" Katie replies. "I said I was sorry!" I snap. "Ah, I see you've started without me," Dannii says. "Quelle surprise." "Really, Dannii?" Sarah spits, earning herself a foul stare from the tall model. "Nikki DID say she tried to invite us to the party last night," Lauren says, clearly upset by the anger being shown by everyone. "Oh, how gracious of her," Dannii snorts. "I mean it only makes sense, someone who isn't even signed to Joshua Benedict should decide whether or not to invite the Angels' colleague along to their party..." "Joshua has well over a hundred models on his books," I retort. "The Angels barely even know you!" I flinch a little as Dannii shoots me a look of pure, unadulterated hatred. "Girlies," Lauren says to no avail. "You little fucking bitch," Dannii snipes. "You selfish, snobbish COW!" "'Selfish'?" Sarah laughs. "This coming from the girl who tried to steal Nikki away from me a few months ago?" Both Katie and Lauren gasp at this revelation. "And how glad am I that I didn't?" Dannii says smugly, earning a truly furious stare not just from Sarah, but from me too. "Hard lesson to learn, isn't it?" I spit. "Knowing that the whole world doesn't revolve around you just because you're tall and can have the pick of any boy you want?" "NIKKI!" Lauren snaps. "Bet you're loving it, aren't you?" Dannii retorts, ignoring her best friend's outburst. "Lording it over everyone else, you're the friend of the Angels whilst we're just your hangers-on!" "You mean like you used to lord over us with your fancy contract from Joshua Benedict?" I snipe. "'Ooh, look at me, I'm a New Angel AND I'm going to be a real Angel too!'" Dannii stands up, fury in her eyes. "Fuck you," Dannii spits, storming out of the cafe. "You know," Katie says coldly, "you really are a nasty piece of work. Enjoy your celebrity life, Nikki. I hope one day you realise just how lonely it is." My heart sinks and my stomach churns as Katie stands up and also walks out. With tears welling in my eyes, I look expectantly at Lauren, who simply shakes her head. "I'll... I'll talk to them both," Lauren says. "I'm- I'm sorry," I say in a very small voice. "I'm not the one you should be apologising too," Lauren says stoically. "I'll see you on Monday, Sarah." Without even eating anything, Sarah and I both leave the cafe and head back to her car, where I have a long, emotional cry. "Why?" I ask. "Why do I have to fuck everything up? My grandparents, the girlies..." "You are NOT a fuck-up!" Sarah says, giving me a much-needed hug. "I love you. I'd love you even if you weren't working for the Angels! I'd love you even if you were sat on your arse all day doing nothing!" "I love you too," I blub, letting the emotion out for the next several minutes before my eyes finally dry up. "I'm still hungry," Sarah says, handing me my handbag. "And for the love of god, fix your make-up!" I laugh a weary, but welcome laugh as I fix the make-up that was destroyed by my crying. Once I'm 'repaired', we head back to the cafe, but along the way are stopped by a group of 3 girls, all in their early teens. "Hi..." One of the girls says cautiously. "Um, are- are you Nikki Thomas?" My jaw drops as the girl asks this question- surely she can't be a 'fan'? "Hi," I reply with obviously surprise. "Um, yes, that's me!" "Oh my god!" the girl squeaks. "It really is you! Can we get a selfie?" "Sure!" I say, giggling a little. "We all LOVE your column in Teen Globe," the girl explains as I pose for the photo with them. "I mean, we're not, like, um, we are 'full' girls, but we just think you're great!" "Aww, that's so nice!" I say, waving to the girls as they walk off, their selfie undoubtedly already being uploaded to the internet. "My famous girlfriend!" Sarah beams with pride. I smile too, but it doesn't last long as Katie's words come back to haunt me. "What's up, babe?" "Katie's right," I moan. "Katie is NOT right!" Sarah retorts. "She was right about it being lonely..." I sigh, making Sarah frown. "You're NEVER lonely, not as long as you have me," Sarah says, forcibly linking her fingers with mine. "And I am NEVER letting you go. I will love you FOREVER." "And I'll love you forever," I whisper, giving Sarah a gentle kiss. "Now come on," Sarah insists. "I'm still hungry!" I force a smile on my face as we head back to lunch. Yes, I'll always have Sarah, and I'll always be eternally grateful. Sarah should be everything that I need, but... I already miss my friends. In a way, it'd have been 'better' if that had rejected me for being transgendered rather than being, well, 'me'. I'll make new friends- I already have, in fact, in Jamie & co- but Katie, Lauren and Dannii will always hold a special place in my heart, even I no longer hold a place in theirs. "Let's eat," I say to Sarah with a confident smile. If Katie, Lauren and Dannii are to be parts of my past, then that's where they'll have to stay. All I care about is the present, and the future- MY future, with Sarah.