DRABBLES- A Baker's Dozen free porn video

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////////////////////////////////////////////////////// DRABBLES: A BAKER'S DOZEN Laika Pupkino ////////////////////////////////////////////////////// #1 ////////// GHOST DICK Three months after her SRS, Michelle awoke before dawn to see a glowing apparition above the foot of her bed.. It was a dick.... A GHOST dick! It spoke in that warbling voice all ghosts use: "Mi-i-ichael! I'm the ghost of your maaanhooood! Yoooooou muuuuuuuuurdered meeeeeeeee!" A well-aimed book hit the florescent dildo, snapping the string it hung from "I know you're down there, Phyllis!" A woman in pajamas stood up Michelle sighed, "Oh Honey..... I know you hated my transitioning, and don't understand that I HAD to. But can't we discuss this in the morning? Like grown-ups? PLEASE?!" ///////////////////// //////////////////// #2 ////////// MY SHAMEFUL SECRET I took the plunge today and wore it. Under my clothes. Slid it on in the bathroom, where Janet wouldn't see Driving across town to work was a delicious thrill. Nobody could tell about my secret In the breakroom Bev and Miriam---who always acted like they found me somewhat creepy---were chatting me up. Like my secret helped me connect with them. Just us girls The boss walked by. I should've known. He has a nose for these things He recoiled, "Good God, Hendricksen! Are you wearing WOMEN'S deodorant?!" My fetish is expanding. Now I have a pink slip.. #3 ////////// A CHILD'S LETTER TO SANTA DEAR SANTA CLAUSE, I KNOW YOU ARE A MILLION YEARS OLD AND HAVE TO GO ALL OVER THE WORLD IN ONE NIGHT TO GIVE EVERYBODY PRESENTS. AND I KNOW SOMETIMES OLD PEOPLE DON'T HEAR GOOD, LIKE MY GRANMA WHO HAS A HERRING AID, AND MAYBE YOU ARE WORRIED ABOUT YOUR HOUSE WITH THE POLER ICE MELTING AND EVERYTHING BUT I REALLY WISH YOU LISTNED BETTER WHEN I SAT ON YOUR LAP AT MACIES AND TOLD YOU WHAT I WANTED FOR CHRISTMAS I SAID I WANTED A COCKATOO! NOT A COCK OR TWO! SINCERLY, MARCIA GREENBLATT (THE GIRL WITH TWO DICKS) /////////////////////// ////////////////////// #4 ////////// THE DEADPAN DETECTIVES IN: THE CASE OF THE CATALEPTIC KATOYS The fiend was taken away in handcuffs, ranting. A doctor was called in "Will they be okay, Doc?" "Hard to tell. Toxicology isn't my specialty. Why would somebody do this? Takes all kinds, I guess." Friday glared at him. "No it doesn't. Not this kind..." The abandoned furniture store was a ghastly spectacle. Apparently the Thai transsexuals were lured to America with promises of employment. They'd been put in strange positions and paralyzed with curare to form chairs, sofas, ottomans. A hundred eyeballs stared in helpless terror "Well now I've seen everything." "What's that, Joe?" "A Lady Boy Furniture Showroom..." ///////////////////// ///////////////////// #5 ////////// THE LIMITS OF ACCEPTANCE "Mom? I have something to tell you..." "Goodness, this sounds serious. Let's sit down here. What is it, Honey?" "I'm...... I'm a Tr-" "You're Transgender? I knew dear. I was pretty sure anyway. You've always seemed more like a daughter. Your father and I were expecting this. We love you no matter what." "Ohhhh that's wonderful, Mom! I was working up the nerve to tell you someday." "But you just told me..." "That's not what I was gonna say though. It's...... something else." "You can say it. My brave girl!" "I'm...... a Trekkie." "Oh God!! Where did we go WRONG?!!" ///////////////////// //////////////////// #6 ////////// GOOD NEWS/BAD NEWS (for Julie O.) GOOD NEWS: You meet this Adonis at a bar BAD NEWS: He's from Romania GOOD: He speaks English perfectly BAD: He brags incessantly GOOD: You want him anyway BAD: You're not technically a woman yet GOOD: He says he has a thing for T-girls BAD: In the parking garage, the "thing" turns out to be a crowbar! He has restraints, surgical equipment GOOD: You're a witch, working for the Magical Justice Department You've been on this monster's trail for months. You easily subdue him BAD: Before his trial, he's extradited back to Bucharest GOOD: Romanian witch-justice is swift, and..... creative ////////////////////// ///////////////////// #7 ////////// SOMETHING QUITE ATROCIOUS.. My sister Shauntisha was incredulous, "You're sayin' Kelly, our building superintendant, wasn't always a guy?" "He was always a guy, he just be in th' wrong body." "Oh God, there you go with that shit again. You know what I'm sayin'. It's just.... I mean.... Kelly! Who woulda guessed?! And does he have a..... you know." "Penis? Sure does. It's not fully functional, but it look REAL, man!" "How on Earth did they do that?" "Made it from his toes." "His TOES????" I sang my response, "Our..... super Kelly's fake realistic sex be all his toes, Sis!" ///////////////////// //////////////////// #8 ////////// THE MiSTERY WoMAN oF MYStARY (My attempt at penning the worst transender fiction ever written:) He said this elivater will took me to top of Eifful Tower and I say form here in Miniapellis?? Really??? and "Yes" he said so I did I took it and get out. He was there I dont now how he got here? I say this IS high up but not Effel TOWER high And he says no not Eiffal. It's names the "I Fall" tower Why? I ask? They say look over the egde and you'll see so I did and he push me Then I knew why as.. ,I ,F .A ,L ,L ,! .! .! Oh. And I was a man waring a dress //////////////////// /////////////////// #9 ////////// GENDER-FLUID I'd never heard the term "gender-fluid" until that day "So, what's the problem..... Mister..... Miss-" "You can't tell, can you Doctor?" "No." "That's the problem. Neither can I." "But which sex do you feel like?" "I don't." "A-HA!!" he exclaimed. Dug into my navel. Out popped a valve stem "JEE-SUS!!!" "Relax, everybody has one. But it should have a cap on it. Your genderfluid's leaked out." "My what?" "Lie back..." He put a funnel into the stem. Took what resembled a gallon of cheap blueberry punch from a cabinet "Um..... could I try that pink kind there?" ////////////////////// ///////////////////// #10 //////// THE QUEEROMETER NEVER LIES (Just a gay old drabble, circa 1998...) My new neighbor seemed nice enough, in a macho ignoramus kind of way. His cluttered apartment had porno mags scattered everywhere. He got us beers, turned on the television "That dude's a goddamn faggot." "That actor? You heard this?" "I just know. I always know." I saw one serious flaw in his claim, but just nodded "And him too!" "Gene Hackman? You sure?" "Positive. 'Cause whenever I see a homo, I get this.... reaction. Kinda like my grandma knowing it was gonna rain. Fuckin' queers are everywhere." "What kind of reaction?" "It's like....... my dick gets hard." //////////////////// //////////////////// Lightning McQueen turned his back on fame & glory to be with the woman he loved, but there was something she had been hesitant to tell him.. #11 /////////// BODY WORK (a brief tale of romance based on Pixar's CARS) "You quit racing to be with me, Lightning? Oh I should've told you. You'll hate me!" "Impossible!" "I haven't been honest. This is a new body." "Wrecks happen. But you're okay now." "No, a DIFFERENT body. I was---and my chassis is---Mustang." "Don't talk crazy, Sally. Mustangs are boy cars......... Oh." Lightning was disturbed. He'd rubbed tailpipes with this vehicle "But you're such a Porsche!" "I always was, inside. I hated being a muscle car." Lightning took a long drive. Returned "Well...... every relationship has its flaws to overcome." "So I'm 'flawed'?" "No, you're perfect. I meant mine." ///////////////////// ///////////////////// #12 ////////// Some folks call it a Kaiser Bag. But I call it a.. SLING BAG (A t.g.tale based on Billy Bob Thorton's film Sling Blade, in five drabble-length chapters...) 1.) Well they let me outta there. I dint have hardly no money, and no place to stay, but i knowed one thing. After 8 years of them tellin me i had to dress like what they wanted, which was a boy, i needed some purtyin up Then I seen it. MIMI'S SALON.. I axed, you do hair stylin? Kin ya do mine? The gal sayed well whatcha want? Ya got this nice thick long hair I sayed i dunno, what's good? She sayed how 'bout a french braid? I sayed i like french braids She tole me have a seat. Uhuhn.. 2.) The gal put my head back, started warshin my hair. That felt nice. Jesus she sayed, what ya been warshin it with, lye? Well I dint like her takin Our Lord's name in vain, and almost went for my bag right there. But that's what got me inta trouble in the first place, so I dint. Sayed i been usin institution shampoo She like jumped. INSTITUTION?! Are you that fella caused a ruckus couple years back goin around smackin folks with a tote bag? I sayed it warnt a tote bag, it was a sling bag. And i aint a fella 3.) Well mimi---that was her name---she gets a phone call halfway through doin my braids. So i go ahead and finish 'em up Where'd ya learn to do that, she axed? I sayed i just watched you Then a lady come in for a poodle cut. Mimi whispers you watch what i'm doin here. Then says lady, my cousin Gigi gonna finish you up That lady looked scared of me but sayed okay. And I could see how it should go. Did her hair real nice, and she was happy And that's how I come to work for mimi 4.) So me and mimi was cuttin, warshin and stickin fingernails on gals and gabbin. Her gabbin, mostly. And then it was five a'clock Closin' up, mimi ax what i wanna be a woman for Well why you wanna be a woman, i axed She sayed 'cause i am one, silly I sayed well so am i Oh, mimi sayed. I think i heard of this. Anyway go home and be here nine sharp I stood, wonderin where to go She axed you aint got no home, do you? I sayed no And mimi sayed a bad word, but nice like 5.) We walked 2 blocks to mimi's house, her mutterin about how crazy this was, takin in some crazy transvegemite from the nuthouse Mimi axed you won't go psycho on me, willya? I sayed yer bein so good to me, I reckon not She showed me her garage. A mattress in there. Sayed sorry it ain't much I sayed nobody's tellin me what to wear, who i "really" am. I reckon it's perfect She axed you got somethin to sleep in? Yer a big, uh ...... girl, but so was my sister Katie. Here's her nightie I slept real good that night Uhuhn ////////////////////// ///////////////////// (These last 2 aren't transgender or even LGBT but I think they have pretty good punchlines:) ////////// THE RINGER The crowds cheered for Meredith as her team helped her out of the swimming pool and into her wheelchair As she wheeled herself toward the stand to receive her fourth consecutive gold medal it was announced that her wins had all been disqualified, and she was barred from competing Meredith was furious, "Just what the hell kind of nonsense are you pulling here?" "The Paralympics are for disabled people," said the angry official The legless swimmer crowed, "Hel-LOOOOO! Are you completely stupid? You see this wheelchair? I can't walk, never could. What am I then if not handicapped?" "A mermaid!" ///////////////////// ///////////////////// ////////// THE HELLFIRE KID TELLS HIS TALE Some boys dream of becomin' ship captains, others jungle explorers. Maybe a few dream of being lamplighters. But my judgment was polluted by penny dreadfuls and tales of the old Wild West. So when the Devil offered me my heart's desire for the price of something you couldn't see and that didn't weigh nothin', I told him to make me an unbeatable gunfighter I probably shouldn'ta said unbeatable. After killing my first hundred men it warn't much fun at all. Hell one time, just to see what would happen, I didn't even draw. Somehow the feller shot and killed hisself! I'm close to ninety now, and soon Old Scratch will be claimin' my soul. But no one can deny I was a legend in my day.. The Faustus Gun in the West

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Di's okay. The thought went around like a carousel in his head as he watched her sob into Michelle's shoulder. Di's okay. Dorothy Willard looked like a grandmother but carried herself like a drill sergeant. There was a steel core under her floral veneer that Lola Crabtree was getting to know first hand. "I don't care what you think Mizz Crabtree. The law is perfectly clear in this case. My associate is at the courthouse right now filing an emergency motion in family court to stop this...

Lust

He caught your eye the second you walked into the bar. There was really only one word to describe him. Hot. He had blond skater boy hair and through his shirt was a well toned body. You walk in and sit down at a stool, still thinking how much you'd like to get in his pants, when suddenly, from behind you hear. "Can I buy you a drink?" You turn around and there he is, looking right at you. "Y..yeah" You stammer, taken aback by his looks. "My name's James" He says, while ordering the...

Gay

Im BiSexual Too pt 1

I lived in the basement of my house...my parents upstairs...and there was a room adjoining mine with a computer. Jake and I used to always get on the computer late at night when everyone was in bed and check out porn. This was our usual routine; we'd look at porn together, and then take turns masturbating in front of the computer while the other left the room. One night, though, Jake mustered up some courage I guess and suggested we both just jerk off at the same time...no big deal. So...

Freaky Hot 2

A couple nights later I was doing homework in my bedroom when Shelly knocked on my door. She walked right in, and kneeled beside my chair and just came right out and asked me "are we ok , as far as our little adventures, or , I should ask , are you cool with everything?" I just looked her eyes and blurted " I love what you're doing for me! Thank you "! She added " well you'd be honest with me and let me know if you're freaked out at all ,...

The Interview

Jason worked for the family firm for 10 years learning how it functioned, working in the various areas warehousing, sales, administration, finance, while studying for a business degree. Jason's dad Cameron had started the business importing car radios at the cheap end of the market had grown as a brand and was now a major design and distribution business national and international. As the business grew Jason would help out after school and during the holidays. His dad told him how he had hired...

Hotel Roommate

It was late, and we had just checked into the hotel for the night. The clerk had given us our keys and I was told I would be staying in a room with my Parent’s friend’s son Jonathan. mom and dad had a room on the first floor next to Ryan and Karen. Jon and I had a room on the third floor and would have to share a queen sized bed. I hadn’t really ever spent time around Jon, other than when our parents would take us all out to dinner. He was a Senior and I was a Sophomore and we really didn’t see...

Gay

StepSiblingsCaught Hime Marie Kyler Quinn Fourth Of July With My Step Sister And Her Slutty Friend

Kyler Quinn has invited her friend Hime Marie to join her family for a Fourth of July barbeque. As Kyler and Hime are hanging out outdoors and watching Kyler’s dad, Chris Valiant, grill, Kyler cautions Hime to be on her best behavior. Kyler is very worried that Hime is so slutty she’ll try to seduce her dad or her stepbrother, Kyle Mason. Eventually, Kyler goes inside to see what Kyle is up to. She finds him at the table getting ready to eat. She confesses to Kyle that she’s...

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My Exhibitionist Wife

By : Thickdick My name is Sandeep from Mysore. I am 38 yrs old and married with 2 kids. I am based in Bangalore and frequently make trips to Mysore and Kolkata as my wife is from Kolkata and I have an ancestral property in Mysore. My wife’s name is Kavita and we have been married for 15 yrs. She is 35 yrs old but still sexually very, very active. She is a Bengali and she has a very “Garam” pussy. Initially I remember, when we started having sex I could not last 5 minutes as her pussy was so...

Of Gods and Love

The river runs strong and free, carving out rock and the very earth, forever shaping the land.The surface broke, and the king of the river rose with a mighty splash to greet the humanoid figure that was approaching the river.'Welcome, boy,' Achelous said, and as he laughed the stream joined in with him. 'Another one of love's fools. Come to reclaim your sweetheart.'The river king was a sight to behold. Ten times larger than any man, he had four long scaly arms, each with an enormous, jagged...

Fantasy & Sci-Fi

Been a long time

He entered the hallway and grabbed me as I shut the door. Pushing me against the wall he probed my mouth with his tongue, hands roughly grabbing my breasts.It had been a long time since we'd met, too long.Grabbing at his trousers, I pulled him hard into my body. 'Spread your legs wide' he said 'I want to feel your soaking wet pussy' Not waiting for a reply he plunged his hand into my panties, fingers seeking the wetness.'Fuck!' I thought, I have missed this.Leaning back against the wall,...

Neighbors and NekojinsChapter 8

Robert and Emily, an older couple that lives a block over has a teenage daughter named Piper. This girl is in high school and perhaps the biggest tease and flirt of the neighborhood. The only problem is her age, but it doesn’t seem to bother many of the guys in the neighborhood like Lars. The man even suspects that she isn’t a virgin. Who are these days? It is the summer after she turns seventeen. The girl spends a lot of time at Ethan’s pool. She looks good in her bikini, looking very adult...

Lockdown With A Young Neighbour Girl In Mumbai

Day 1 of the lockdown happened without warning. She rang the doorbell 5 times to wake me up. As I groggily opened the door in my track pants and t-shirt, she was standing in her usual immaculate style. Almost perfect figure, neatly dressed in a white churidar and yellow kurta. Her big black eyes were rimmed with kajal, thick silky hair in a loose braid till mid-back, perfect lips with only lipgloss, simple rings in her ears and a smooth complexion that closely matched the golden color. She...

Spectacular 2

When I woke, I automatically knew it was early morning. I also knew I had the most delectable creature lying beside me. My sleeping cock was pressed between the cleft of her ass. I'm extremely picky about the women I bed, but this one... well, she had a vibrancy around her that I just couldn't ignore. She was laying on her side with her back to me. She was in a deep sleep so I just watched her. My mind replayed the evening's events. She was outstanding at sex. So open and willing to do anything...

Anal

Luckiest night in my life

So here i was, off work, and hoping to find some fun online.I had posted a couple nsa ads, replied to a few, and gotten no replies. But then this gurl amber told me she wanted me asap. I'm always eager and ready to go, so i hopped in my car and headed over right away. When i got there the bathroom was closed in her hotel room, and there was a pile of clothing all around us. But the bed was clear and that was all that mattered. She grabbed my hands and started kissing me. While sucking on...

Fateful Meeting Part 3

One week to the day after Kat and I first met in that lingerie shop, it was my thirty-eighth birthday. July 13, 2013. Kat picked me up at my place. We drove to a buffet where you could have just about any dish you wanted, fresh and hot. Fresh and hot, like us. You pay as you enter and take whatever you want to eat. All top quality cooking. We each picked out little samples of whatever food looked good to us. We needed energy for sex, but we didn’t want to be too bloated on food to enjoy the...

Lesbian

Helping my moms girlfriend

Martha was my mom’s best friend when I was at high school.They had known each other before my I was born. That afternoon my mom was busy at work and she called me to ask if I could go to see Martha at her home. She needed some help getting ready a special dinner to celebrate her mother’s birthday.Martha was a young widow; a mature woman, still very sexy.A while after being at her house, Martha’s eyes were shut tight, her head to one side as I tasted my first vagina ever. My mom’s friend had...

Sexy Bar Slut

As she turned into the parking lot she knew she shouldn't stop but what the hell her husband wouldn't be home for at least an hour and a half why shouldn't she have one drink to take the edge off. Parking the truck around the far corner of the building so nobody would see it she quickly made her way inside the bar. The first thing she noticed was that obviously the "older" crowd "ran" the bar during the early evening but as the night progressed the younger crowd invaded and the older guys...

Harry and the Lee GirlsChapter 3

Lilly, smiling and shaking her head, sat at the dining room table trying to eat her bowl of cereal. Paul, formerly known as Twitch, was slicing a banana into her bowl saying something to the effect that she couldn’t eat that cereal without sliced bananas; it just wasn’t done in America. She raised her eyebrows across the table at her sister, who giggled in response. Dolly knew that Paul let them eat plain Cornflakes, but his feelings would be hurt if he wasn’t allowed to take care of them in...

Awesome Sex Adventure With My Girlfriend Part 4

Thank you all for those emails and comments. Appreciate your sexiness to read my story. This is the 4th part of my adventure with my GF Me and my GF both entered car from the back door and lied down on the seat so that no one can make out. The stranger opened the car bonnet and stood there. The cyclist came and asked for some kind of support and he said no and let go the cyclist. As we both saw in the cyclist disappearing in darkness we took a sign of relief and came out of the car. It was now...

Daddys Fetish pt1

"Steph!" my dad called. "I'm going to the shops. Your mom says you need to get new underwear, are you ready to go?"I froze. Underwear shopping with dad? How embarrassing! It was bad enough to go with mom. She always made me buy such chaste and sensible things when all I wanted was lace and slutty underwear."Can't I just have your credit card and go with Tori?" I asked him."You've got to be k**ding? After the prom dress incident?" he looked at me as though I was insane. I'd been given dad's...

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