DRABBLES- A Baker's Dozen free porn video

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////////////////////////////////////////////////////// DRABBLES: A BAKER'S DOZEN Laika Pupkino ////////////////////////////////////////////////////// #1 ////////// GHOST DICK Three months after her SRS, Michelle awoke before dawn to see a glowing apparition above the foot of her bed.. It was a dick.... A GHOST dick! It spoke in that warbling voice all ghosts use: "Mi-i-ichael! I'm the ghost of your maaanhooood! Yoooooou muuuuuuuuurdered meeeeeeeee!" A well-aimed book hit the florescent dildo, snapping the string it hung from "I know you're down there, Phyllis!" A woman in pajamas stood up Michelle sighed, "Oh Honey..... I know you hated my transitioning, and don't understand that I HAD to. But can't we discuss this in the morning? Like grown-ups? PLEASE?!" ///////////////////// //////////////////// #2 ////////// MY SHAMEFUL SECRET I took the plunge today and wore it. Under my clothes. Slid it on in the bathroom, where Janet wouldn't see Driving across town to work was a delicious thrill. Nobody could tell about my secret In the breakroom Bev and Miriam---who always acted like they found me somewhat creepy---were chatting me up. Like my secret helped me connect with them. Just us girls The boss walked by. I should've known. He has a nose for these things He recoiled, "Good God, Hendricksen! Are you wearing WOMEN'S deodorant?!" My fetish is expanding. Now I have a pink slip.. #3 ////////// A CHILD'S LETTER TO SANTA DEAR SANTA CLAUSE, I KNOW YOU ARE A MILLION YEARS OLD AND HAVE TO GO ALL OVER THE WORLD IN ONE NIGHT TO GIVE EVERYBODY PRESENTS. AND I KNOW SOMETIMES OLD PEOPLE DON'T HEAR GOOD, LIKE MY GRANMA WHO HAS A HERRING AID, AND MAYBE YOU ARE WORRIED ABOUT YOUR HOUSE WITH THE POLER ICE MELTING AND EVERYTHING BUT I REALLY WISH YOU LISTNED BETTER WHEN I SAT ON YOUR LAP AT MACIES AND TOLD YOU WHAT I WANTED FOR CHRISTMAS I SAID I WANTED A COCKATOO! NOT A COCK OR TWO! SINCERLY, MARCIA GREENBLATT (THE GIRL WITH TWO DICKS) /////////////////////// ////////////////////// #4 ////////// THE DEADPAN DETECTIVES IN: THE CASE OF THE CATALEPTIC KATOYS The fiend was taken away in handcuffs, ranting. A doctor was called in "Will they be okay, Doc?" "Hard to tell. Toxicology isn't my specialty. Why would somebody do this? Takes all kinds, I guess." Friday glared at him. "No it doesn't. Not this kind..." The abandoned furniture store was a ghastly spectacle. Apparently the Thai transsexuals were lured to America with promises of employment. They'd been put in strange positions and paralyzed with curare to form chairs, sofas, ottomans. A hundred eyeballs stared in helpless terror "Well now I've seen everything." "What's that, Joe?" "A Lady Boy Furniture Showroom..." ///////////////////// ///////////////////// #5 ////////// THE LIMITS OF ACCEPTANCE "Mom? I have something to tell you..." "Goodness, this sounds serious. Let's sit down here. What is it, Honey?" "I'm...... I'm a Tr-" "You're Transgender? I knew dear. I was pretty sure anyway. You've always seemed more like a daughter. Your father and I were expecting this. We love you no matter what." "Ohhhh that's wonderful, Mom! I was working up the nerve to tell you someday." "But you just told me..." "That's not what I was gonna say though. It's...... something else." "You can say it. My brave girl!" "I'm...... a Trekkie." "Oh God!! Where did we go WRONG?!!" ///////////////////// //////////////////// #6 ////////// GOOD NEWS/BAD NEWS (for Julie O.) GOOD NEWS: You meet this Adonis at a bar BAD NEWS: He's from Romania GOOD: He speaks English perfectly BAD: He brags incessantly GOOD: You want him anyway BAD: You're not technically a woman yet GOOD: He says he has a thing for T-girls BAD: In the parking garage, the "thing" turns out to be a crowbar! He has restraints, surgical equipment GOOD: You're a witch, working for the Magical Justice Department You've been on this monster's trail for months. You easily subdue him BAD: Before his trial, he's extradited back to Bucharest GOOD: Romanian witch-justice is swift, and..... creative ////////////////////// ///////////////////// #7 ////////// SOMETHING QUITE ATROCIOUS.. My sister Shauntisha was incredulous, "You're sayin' Kelly, our building superintendant, wasn't always a guy?" "He was always a guy, he just be in th' wrong body." "Oh God, there you go with that shit again. You know what I'm sayin'. It's just.... I mean.... Kelly! Who woulda guessed?! And does he have a..... you know." "Penis? Sure does. It's not fully functional, but it look REAL, man!" "How on Earth did they do that?" "Made it from his toes." "His TOES????" I sang my response, "Our..... super Kelly's fake realistic sex be all his toes, Sis!" ///////////////////// //////////////////// #8 ////////// THE MiSTERY WoMAN oF MYStARY (My attempt at penning the worst transender fiction ever written:) He said this elivater will took me to top of Eifful Tower and I say form here in Miniapellis?? Really??? and "Yes" he said so I did I took it and get out. He was there I dont now how he got here? I say this IS high up but not Effel TOWER high And he says no not Eiffal. It's names the "I Fall" tower Why? I ask? They say look over the egde and you'll see so I did and he push me Then I knew why as.. ,I ,F .A ,L ,L ,! .! .! Oh. And I was a man waring a dress //////////////////// /////////////////// #9 ////////// GENDER-FLUID I'd never heard the term "gender-fluid" until that day "So, what's the problem..... Mister..... Miss-" "You can't tell, can you Doctor?" "No." "That's the problem. Neither can I." "But which sex do you feel like?" "I don't." "A-HA!!" he exclaimed. Dug into my navel. Out popped a valve stem "JEE-SUS!!!" "Relax, everybody has one. But it should have a cap on it. Your genderfluid's leaked out." "My what?" "Lie back..." He put a funnel into the stem. Took what resembled a gallon of cheap blueberry punch from a cabinet "Um..... could I try that pink kind there?" ////////////////////// ///////////////////// #10 //////// THE QUEEROMETER NEVER LIES (Just a gay old drabble, circa 1998...) My new neighbor seemed nice enough, in a macho ignoramus kind of way. His cluttered apartment had porno mags scattered everywhere. He got us beers, turned on the television "That dude's a goddamn faggot." "That actor? You heard this?" "I just know. I always know." I saw one serious flaw in his claim, but just nodded "And him too!" "Gene Hackman? You sure?" "Positive. 'Cause whenever I see a homo, I get this.... reaction. Kinda like my grandma knowing it was gonna rain. Fuckin' queers are everywhere." "What kind of reaction?" "It's like....... my dick gets hard." //////////////////// //////////////////// Lightning McQueen turned his back on fame & glory to be with the woman he loved, but there was something she had been hesitant to tell him.. #11 /////////// BODY WORK (a brief tale of romance based on Pixar's CARS) "You quit racing to be with me, Lightning? Oh I should've told you. You'll hate me!" "Impossible!" "I haven't been honest. This is a new body." "Wrecks happen. But you're okay now." "No, a DIFFERENT body. I was---and my chassis is---Mustang." "Don't talk crazy, Sally. Mustangs are boy cars......... Oh." Lightning was disturbed. He'd rubbed tailpipes with this vehicle "But you're such a Porsche!" "I always was, inside. I hated being a muscle car." Lightning took a long drive. Returned "Well...... every relationship has its flaws to overcome." "So I'm 'flawed'?" "No, you're perfect. I meant mine." ///////////////////// ///////////////////// #12 ////////// Some folks call it a Kaiser Bag. But I call it a.. SLING BAG (A t.g.tale based on Billy Bob Thorton's film Sling Blade, in five drabble-length chapters...) 1.) Well they let me outta there. I dint have hardly no money, and no place to stay, but i knowed one thing. After 8 years of them tellin me i had to dress like what they wanted, which was a boy, i needed some purtyin up Then I seen it. MIMI'S SALON.. I axed, you do hair stylin? Kin ya do mine? The gal sayed well whatcha want? Ya got this nice thick long hair I sayed i dunno, what's good? She sayed how 'bout a french braid? I sayed i like french braids She tole me have a seat. Uhuhn.. 2.) The gal put my head back, started warshin my hair. That felt nice. Jesus she sayed, what ya been warshin it with, lye? Well I dint like her takin Our Lord's name in vain, and almost went for my bag right there. But that's what got me inta trouble in the first place, so I dint. Sayed i been usin institution shampoo She like jumped. INSTITUTION?! Are you that fella caused a ruckus couple years back goin around smackin folks with a tote bag? I sayed it warnt a tote bag, it was a sling bag. And i aint a fella 3.) Well mimi---that was her name---she gets a phone call halfway through doin my braids. So i go ahead and finish 'em up Where'd ya learn to do that, she axed? I sayed i just watched you Then a lady come in for a poodle cut. Mimi whispers you watch what i'm doin here. Then says lady, my cousin Gigi gonna finish you up That lady looked scared of me but sayed okay. And I could see how it should go. Did her hair real nice, and she was happy And that's how I come to work for mimi 4.) So me and mimi was cuttin, warshin and stickin fingernails on gals and gabbin. Her gabbin, mostly. And then it was five a'clock Closin' up, mimi ax what i wanna be a woman for Well why you wanna be a woman, i axed She sayed 'cause i am one, silly I sayed well so am i Oh, mimi sayed. I think i heard of this. Anyway go home and be here nine sharp I stood, wonderin where to go She axed you aint got no home, do you? I sayed no And mimi sayed a bad word, but nice like 5.) We walked 2 blocks to mimi's house, her mutterin about how crazy this was, takin in some crazy transvegemite from the nuthouse Mimi axed you won't go psycho on me, willya? I sayed yer bein so good to me, I reckon not She showed me her garage. A mattress in there. Sayed sorry it ain't much I sayed nobody's tellin me what to wear, who i "really" am. I reckon it's perfect She axed you got somethin to sleep in? Yer a big, uh ...... girl, but so was my sister Katie. Here's her nightie I slept real good that night Uhuhn ////////////////////// ///////////////////// (These last 2 aren't transgender or even LGBT but I think they have pretty good punchlines:) ////////// THE RINGER The crowds cheered for Meredith as her team helped her out of the swimming pool and into her wheelchair As she wheeled herself toward the stand to receive her fourth consecutive gold medal it was announced that her wins had all been disqualified, and she was barred from competing Meredith was furious, "Just what the hell kind of nonsense are you pulling here?" "The Paralympics are for disabled people," said the angry official The legless swimmer crowed, "Hel-LOOOOO! Are you completely stupid? You see this wheelchair? I can't walk, never could. What am I then if not handicapped?" "A mermaid!" ///////////////////// ///////////////////// ////////// THE HELLFIRE KID TELLS HIS TALE Some boys dream of becomin' ship captains, others jungle explorers. Maybe a few dream of being lamplighters. But my judgment was polluted by penny dreadfuls and tales of the old Wild West. So when the Devil offered me my heart's desire for the price of something you couldn't see and that didn't weigh nothin', I told him to make me an unbeatable gunfighter I probably shouldn'ta said unbeatable. After killing my first hundred men it warn't much fun at all. Hell one time, just to see what would happen, I didn't even draw. Somehow the feller shot and killed hisself! I'm close to ninety now, and soon Old Scratch will be claimin' my soul. But no one can deny I was a legend in my day.. The Faustus Gun in the West

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My mother friend Alice was always too kind and showing off when she was dropping my mom from workshes been working at my mom place for nearly a year nowtall and beautifull black milf with big firm tities it was summer and i land a small job at her place , going to do some paint job she saidI arrive at her place and she was wearing a very sexy white dress kissing me feeling uncomfortable her big tits press of me hugging me her hand on my waist nearly groping my ass''come i have friends over , we...

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Hello guys, I am Ashok from Hyderabad,5.11feet height,smart guy,with 7inch long dick.Am a big fan of ISS.It is my story here.So please forgive me and my story. It happened between me and my girlfriend few months back during summer.My girlfriend is very attractive girl.She has a beautiful pair of boobs.Which are round and very soft.Her lips are red in colour.I like her lips very much.And her ass is sexiest of all..So we used to meet regularly and have some fun.We used to kiss,hug.. When ever I...

Beach Club Afterparty

My wife is a sexy and roaming wife. She just can't seem to help herself. I am her fourth husband because she just couldn't be faithful to anyone. We have now been married eight years and she knows it turns me on when she has her infidelities and I always let her cuck me with at least one of these conditions: that she either does it with me watching, listening or her telling me about it just before or right after. One of my favorites parts though is to watch her seduce or be seduced. When she is...

Living a CAP Based PresentChapter 83 Preparatory Meetings

The orgy my command had started lasted more than two hours. It finally broke up when Erica and Angelique returned from their play. Lenore and I quickly showered and then spent time with the two girls as the other ladies cleaned up. We ate as a group that night. I was going to see about resuming the play when the AI interrupted our meal. “Captain Parker. I have a call from Captain Prescott for you.” “Put it through,” I replied. “Ladies be quiet please.” “Aww, do we have to,” Ashley sang out...

Zak Enjoys A Live InFlight Movie

Once again I was sitting at the airport. The USA Track and Field National Championship is being held in Miami and some local Philadelphia athletes are participating who have Olympic potential. It would be a boost for the city to have local athletes represented.The late-night flight out from Philadelphia International should not be crowded. I have my latest James Patterson book, Along Came A Spider to pass the time.I was turning the first page and a guy approached and sat across from me. I was...

Gay Male

SurfShark

Surf Shark sounds like the name of the gargantuan beast that attacked me off the coast of Hawaii, but nah, this shark is here to protect you as you surf, not bite your dick off. Unlike most of the websites I review here at ThePornDude, this one ain’t even dick-oriented. Of course, one of their main functions is helping you surf the web anonymously and privately, and we all know exactly what you’re going to do with all that extra anonymity and privacy. (In case you’re a little dense, that’s a...

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Whatever It TakesChapter 5

Next morning, Josie again declined my offer of a restaurant breakfast and I showered, dressed, and left her house by 9:30. She gave me a friendly little nuzzle on the way out, and I was rapidly gaining some confidence that this could be the start of something big. Neither of us said anything about the hand-on-bare-breast thing. I was pretty sure Josie must have known it had happened, but she never protested, never uttered a word about it. Nothing was said about my coming back that evening,...

Gay Boss Seducing A Beautiful Straight Teen Boy At Work

Brent worked at the company I owned. He was hired when he was eighteen, had dirty blond shoulder-length hair, was around five-feet-ten, a slim build, with an exceptionally cute butt. I fantasized that he had a nice package, despite him never showing any noticeable bulge, primarily because he tended to wear blue jeans that were on the baggy side. Given his dirty blond hair, I assumed he had light brown or blond pubic hair. His eyes were a beautiful brown, and his bangs always hung down...

Teen

Milwaukee Cuckokd and His sisterInLaws

Milwaukee Cuckolds and his sister-in-law’sAfter Judy was the star at her sister’s party, she skyped me to show her cum filled body and tell me how much fun she had and thank me for having such a small cock. I asked when she was going to come home and she said she needed to sleep for a bit and then she would be home.About an hour later I got a call from my sister-in-law and she said, “I can’t believe what my sister did tonight. Did you know she was such a horny slut?” I didn’t answer and she...

The End of Everything

“I’ll take the shuttle; you stay on course. If we find something, we can call back.”Only we both knew it would be too late. Even if the last white dwarf survived long enough for our failing instruments to keep our ship on course, there wouldn’t be enough fuel in the smaller shuttle if it went to the wrong energy source.We would have to pick right. Then came the last thing she would ever say before the final two streaks of starlight blinked out of existence. “At least one of us might get there…...

Fantasy & Sci-Fi

The Horny Dog Part 1 The Daughter

Introduction: A horny dog gets his first taste of human pussy!!! Prologue Im a dog. You may wonder what breed I am, but thats irrelevant. And even if you were to ask, I would be unable to answer. I never had parents to educate me or siblings to play with. My first memory is that of a dark, grungy back alley. I can still remember the foul stench that inhabited it when I close my eyes. It seems like a lifetime ago now. I guess thats what happens when you spend your days struggling to locate your...

A Chance Reunion

I don't gamble but my sister was holding a surprise birthday party for her husband so, well, you know, it's family so there I was at the Bellagio in Vegas. The day I arrived, the temperature outside could have been hotter, but only if I had been Joan of Arc.I understood why the location of Las Vegas had been a developer's dream. The searing heat keep people inside and that means in the casinos. That's where I was hiding out when my name was being called. It wasn't on the intercom. It was a...

Straight Sex

Armin und Lea Teil 9

Es war soweit, in zwei Stunden würde Frau Brehmer mit ihrem Mann vor der Tür stehen. Erhard, Heike und Lea saßen beim Abendbrot, splitternackt wie immer, aber heute war es sehr still am Tisch und die Anspannung war zu spüren, da sie nicht genau wussten, was sie von Frau Brehmer und ihrem Mann zu erwarten hatten. „Ziehen wir uns denn gleich was an?“ fragte Lea. „Nein, nein, wir benehmen uns wie immer. Wir sind Nudisten und verleugnen das nicht. Auch wenn wir normalerweise fremden Besuch...

Mirror Mirror

Angie and I were staying at a friend’s caravan in a holiday park, right opposite was another caravan, in mirror image. (IE, The doors and windows directly faced each other). During the week we had got to know Dianne, who was staying in that caravan and had many a long chat as we sat around in the gap between the caravans, enjoing the sun. Dianne was in her 60’s, with a well maintained, rounded body, and massive, bouncy, 42DD boobs. On the friday evening, after we had been there a week, Angie...

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A Sextual Experiment

Here’s a little story that a ‘friend’ and I wrote by text while at our respective jobs one afternoon. It took us from around 1pm until 8.20pm and kept us both at a peak of arousal all day. I’ve always wanted to have a story worthy of posting on here but have never had the opportunity to. She has the same kind of imagination and passion that I do so I thought I’d share the outcome with you all. I hope you enjoy it…E: Tell me your ideal scenario if we had just one night where we’d never get...

First Time

My Male CumSlut

Amanda just woke up from one of the kinkiest dreams she’d ever had. She sighed and said, “Wow, what a dream, it either means I need to go shopping for a hot pink bra, matching panty, garter belt, hose and heels. On the other hand, Skip, my new friend (who is a cross dresser) needs to buy one for our hot intimate cam-chats. Better yet, buy us both a matching set. When she first met him online, she said to herself, “Oh shit, not another guy who loves to wear woman’s clothing. He is probably an...

Bisexual

Little Pig Pt 6

Lil Pig is still being a Lil Pig. Recently Lil Pig had a one on one that brought back memories of when he was young. the guy he was with was a big bear type. All he wanted to do was lay down & cuddle with Lil Pigs ass against his cock. What happened next reminded Lil Pig of a time he stayed the night at his friends and his friends Dad did the sex act same thing. Mr. Bear rubbed his cock up and down Lil Pigs crack several times. Thinking Mr. Bear was going to stick it in Lil Piggy's...

Let the Game Begin

The evening had been a tease from “Hello”.I had agonised over the planning of this night for the past week. Vince had been my lover for some months now and every encounter was a new adventure. I thought he was too good to be true when we first talked over the phone. He knew all the right things to say, was witty and oh, so charming. After a few calls we decided to meet. I felt a little trepidation, but what the hell, you only live once.It was one of those blind dates you go on with an open...

Seduction

In law

My wife constantly wanted to go to her parents house. Seems like every weekend we was there, sometimes spending the night . Wife and I were lacking in the "sex" department in out relationship and due to this it seemed like all i though about was sex or anything of that nature. My wife had a older sister that was the same age as me ...24... often thought about her in ways probably shouldn't have but anyway. We stayed at her parents for the weekend, and as usual I was horny so i took an early...

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