high school drop out
- 2 years ago
- 20
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Fishnets free porn video
Fishnets:
"I do recommend it for all girls, and boys, out there: put on a pair of
fishnet stockings and find your inner sexiness!" - Nia Vardalos
I am still me, I try to tell myself, as I look down at my burgundy nail
extensions typing these words out on my computer keyboard as part of a
therapy exercise my girlfriend Nia Constantinou has given me.
Nia told me I needed to write my story down, both to help myself to
understand who I now am, and to help other men to discover their own real
identities.
As a guide Nia told me I should head my essay, "What are the changes that
have taken place in my life?"
I look again at my beautiful glossy burgundy nails.
There's something that has changed here.
They are still my fingers, I tell myself. But they didn't look like this
before, did they? I painted them burgundy before I wore my nail
extensions, but because my nail polish kept chipping I started wearing
these extensions, didn't I?
But there was something else, wasn't there?
Before I painted my nails Burgundy I shaved all my hair off my hands and
arms. Because a girl doesn't have hairy hands or arms does she?
So why did I have hairy hands and arms?
My corset holds my stomach in and helps to show off my breasts, which are
now a
38C thanks to the pills Nia gives me.
The corset straps? They are tight on my shoulders and I think there was a
time when I didn't wear a corset at all did I?
I wear a bra under my corset but before I wore a corset did I wear a bra
or did I wear a corset before I wore a bra? Was there really a time when
wore neither a bra or a corset?
I don't remember.
I look down at my black lace pencil dress and my fishnet encased legs
showing underneath it.
Because of my dress I cross my legs now. It's too tight for much more
movement than that.
Nia spent time training me to always cross my right leg over my left leg.
Nia told me it was less immodest to cross your legs than to man spread
like I used to do. Why did I man spread? Wait a moment... Was I once a
man?
Men don't dress like me do they?
Wait a minute, before.. I was born a man! That's a change, isn't it? I
think I never really was a man's man was I? I must have been a cissy.
Is that why I cross my right leg over my left? Is it because cisgender
men use the left side of their brains more and I am not such a man? Nia
said something about how I needed to counteract the bad habits of my
cultural conditioning and need to fight to keep that side of my
conditioning in check. I needed to fight to use both sides of my brain.
As anyone should know women use both sides of their brains which explains
why Nia has always had to help me to think like a woman. She explained
that it was about maximising my potential. Why would any man not want to
tap into his inner woman or anima?
I stroke my fishnet encased legs and look down at my black six inch wedge
heels. As I do this my long straight blonde hair falls across my face and
I brush it back before fixing it into a ponytail with a black velvet
scrunchie. It's all my hair now, not hair extensions any more. I guess
that's a change too, isn't it?
I used to wear hair extensions.
It's coming back to me now.
The man I was, was Nia's vanilla boyfriend once, wasn't I?
Nia and I were going through a rough patch in our sex life.
Once or twice we had travelled into town on the tube together.
Nia had noticed how my tendency to man spread had attracted the attention
of other ladies and I had a wandering eye. I was always staring at or
ogling women who wore dresses or skirts.
One night I told Nia that I had to stay late at work.
This was the first time I had cheated on her.
So I was not the perfect boyfriend? No.
"Have you never felt inadequate?" I wrote. "Faced with my beautiful sexy
girlfriend I felt inadequate. Who wouldn't? She was the most beautiful
woman on the train each morning."
It was impossible that this sexy woman in her black lace dress, fishnets
and wedge heels was not cheating on me wasn't it? I mean even if she
didn't want to, men would be falling at her feet. The temptation would be
too great! She might not be seduced easily, but she was a woman and she
would be seduced.
So when I got home after a second late night at work imagine my horror to
find Nia was mad at me.
I was scared.
Nia had not taken long to work out I was cheating on her.
Had she found me out because of her feminine intuition or was it my
ingrained sense of male privilege that meant like so many men we think of
our girlfriends as stupid and make silly mistakes? I never found out but
I had got home to find my world turned upside down and Nia wasn't even
reacting like I had expected she would if she found out.
Nia sat me down and said:
"There are going to have to be some changes if we are going to save our
relationship, Andy. This is going to start with your underwear. You are
going to throw out all your boxer shorts and wear panties from now on."
I knew I had been caught red handed and that this was some kind of sexual
punishment. Nia must have worked out what was going on and I knew she had
every right to throw me out. I knew enough about the law to know I would
lose not only Nia but custody of our sons Mike and Peter and our home.
But I did not understand why I had to throw out all my boxer shorts so I
asked, "Why the panties?"
Nia laughed. "Why? You - Andy, the man's man - need to ask me - Nia,
poor simple dim witted woman - why?"
I knew Nia had thought this through before she answered me so I started to
take off my clothes as she explained:
"Firstly, I want you to wear panties to remind you who wears the trousers
in our relationship. You should think of them as an acknowledgement of
what we both know, that you think you are inferior to me and it is clear
to me that you infidelity was in fact a cry for help. You know you feel
inadequate next to me. You need to feel sexy and desirable too and
wearing your own panties will help you to feel sexy. Secondly, because I
know your male pride will feel shame at wearing panties, because within
our culture it is degrading for a man to dress like a woman; and you need
to feel a sense of shame and be punished for what you have done. You need
to know what it is like to feel degraded, like I do, by your cheating on
me. Thirdly, because the knowledge that you are wearing panties will lead
you to think twice about cheating again because anyone who sees you
undress will see you are wearing panties. It might even lead to you
stopping filling our boys' heads with sexist nonsense about my place being
in the bedroom and the kitchen."
Nia then warned me, "If I ever catch you in boxer shorts again our
relationship is over."
So that night I threw away all of my boxer shorts as a symbol of my
commitment to our relationship.
My first pair of panties were a silky black pair of side lace high rise
midi panties. Although I was resistant to putting them on I knew I had to
overcome my shame and insecurities if I was to save our relationship.
As I slid them on it was quite obvious to Nia and me that I was sexually
stimulated by the first item of lingerie that I had ever put on in my
life. It was also quickly apparent that my underwear would not
accommodate my excited manhood.
"No self respecting panty wearer has a bulge like that in her panties.
You should be ashamed of it. Can't you control yourself? It's
undignified. You should try to hide it." Nia said.
It turned out Nia had read a bit about drag queens on the internet. She
showed me how to tuck my bulge between my legs.
I fell asleep and had a strange dream about being dressed like Nia and of
everyone staring at me. I was about to explain to everyone why I was
dressed like Nia when I woke up.
The following morning I had put on a pair of red lace panties and was just
putting my socks on when Nia stopped me. "Not so fast! I have seen those
wandering eyes of yours! I think I have the cure."
Nia handed me a matching red suspender belt and a pair of fishnet
stockings as I sat up in bed.
"You can't expect me to wear this?" I asked in disbelief holding the
suspenders and stocking up to give back to her. Wearing panties was one
thing but fishnet stockings and suspenders too?
"I can and you will."
"Oh no I won't."
"Honestly one day in panties and you are already behaving like a little
girl! I told you they will cure you of your wandering eyes. Here, let me
put them on you and you will see what I mean." Nia said in a conciliatory
voice, like she was talking to a girl who had just had a temper tantrum.
I sat there as Nia explained and showed me how to roll my stockings up my
legs, caressing my legs as she did so and then attaching them to my
suspender belt.
"You will need to shave your legs to get the full benefit, you know." Nia
said adjusting the straps on my suspenders. "You have sometimes to adjust
your suspenders to stop them suddenly pinging off."
I felt my manhood trying to escape my panties as I stood up and felt the
elastic of the straps as Nia pulled on the strap and let them twang
against my thighs before she squeezed my arse and took my head in her
hands and gave me a French kiss.
As she had just finished my knees rubbed together and I was amazed at how
it still felt like she was still caressing me.
Why didn't I object? Because the sensation was not something I had felt
before. I felt sexy.
"Have you never worn fishnets?" I wrote in my essay.
I knew I had wandering eyes and I knew Nia knew. How was wearing fishnet
stockings going to stop me looking at other women? I had no idea but I
was doing it. After all, Nia looked at other women, as much if not more,
than I did. She wore fishnets all the time but I trusted her.
She seemed confident and to know what she was doing and I was out of my
depth.
I knew she would be proved right about this being the cure right then and
so I did not say anything so as not to look like an idiot, but I felt like
one. However I was enjoying the sensation of wearing fishnet stockings
and suspenders more than I was prepared to admit. I wondered why I had
not discovered the sexual thrill of wearing fishnet stockings before.
I slipped on the rest of my normal male suit to go to work.
As I stepped out on the street to leave for work the fear hit me. Shit!
What if someone realises I am wearing fishnet stockings? It could be
humiliating! I spent the whole day looking at myself in mirrors and shop
windows worried someone would "make" me. I didn't see any sexy women in
skirts or dresses all day. Those women I saw were all wearing trousers.
After a few days going to work dressed like this my next fear was of our
sons Mike or Peter finding out that I had taken to crossdressing. They
say men like to work out their problems on their own whereas women like to
talk about them. I guess dressing in panties and fishnets and suspenders
was affecting me already then because as we were getting ready for bed I
asked Nia:
"What will I say to Mike and Peter? They are bound to notice that I am
not wearing socks and boxer shorts and the larger panties and fishnets in
the laundry."
"I am curious how now having cheated on me you are asking me about whether
you should tell the truth or lie to our sons. You could tell them that
you were cheating on me and why you are wearing panties and fishnet
stockings and suspenders to help you be faithful or that you are a
transvestite and have chosen to wear panties and fishnet stockings."
"But I am not a transvestite!"
"Your underwear would suggest otherwise, oh my god," Nia paused, holding
her hand over her mouth, pretending to be shocked "unless you are saying
you are transgendered? When are you planning the operation?"
"Ha, ha!" I replied.
"I can see you don't want to tell your sons about your infidelity and you
are not proud of it. This is a positive thing, Andy, which shows that
wearing panties is working for you. Also your betrayal of me and yourself
is something that you should feel ashamed of but I know you are still in
denial about who you are. You are clearly excited to be wearing your own
panties and fishnet stockings and our sex life hasn't been this good in
years," Nia replied.
"Fundamentally I think you have a deep sense of insecurity and you think
that you are not good enough for me. I am pleased to see you are starting
to come out of your cave and talk about your problems like a grown woman.
So, tonight we are going to make some further changes and you are going to
wear a slip to bed."
"Why a slip?" I replied exasperated. "Mike and Peter are bound to find
out!"
"Andy you need to start to recognize that I love you and want the best for
you. You need to trust me when I tell you that you need to love yourself.
Because if you don't learn to love yourself, how are you going to love me?
At the moment you are still in denial and reject the idea of loving
yourself. You think it's selfish. You have to stop the self-loathing.
As you put on this slip you need to tell yourself you too deserve to wear
sexy clothes like this. Maybe tomorrow you will start to recognise who
you really are. I know you are going to enjoy wearing your first slip."
I knew she was right and as I felt this smooth silky pink garment unfurl
down my body the reaction in my panties confirmed how much better Nia knew
me than I knew myself.
"Let's do a deal. I won't tell the boys that you are a transvestite but I
am going to set up a Facebook identity for you as Portia. If Portia ever
gets more friends than you, you will wear false breasts and a bra and
start to maintain her facebook identity yourself. You will respond to any
chat or message and accept any friend requests. If Portia gets double
your friends on your Andy account you will wear full make-up and dress as
Portia and come clothes shopping with me and our sons. The boys will
enjoy it too. If Portia gets triple your friends you will become her and
dispose of your old male clothing for ever, shut down your Andy account
and acknowledge that you are a woman trapped in a man's body."
I agreed as I stood there in my slip with my back to the bedroom door.
But then it immediately became a rather one sided deal as Nia no longer
needed to avoid telling the boys that I was a transvestite because I spun
round to see the door open and Mike and Peter came in.
"Don't you boys ever knock?" Nia asked and my first reaction was to try
to hide, but then common sense told me, don't be daft they have already
seen you!
I sat down at Nia's dressing table.
"Oh my God! Daddy's a tranny!" my sons chorused.
"Mummy, can I dress like Portia?" Peter asked. (He had heard Nia call me
by my new name and preferred to think of me as a woman than as his dad!)
"Does Portia wear makeup?" Mike asked looking at me like a little brother
who had told a tale that had just got his older sister in trouble. I knew
already what was coming next and that my sons had heard every word Nia had
just said.
"I wasn't calling your father Portia yet, Peter and yes in due course.
But you are right, Mike, she needs to get used to her name if she is to
pass as a woman and yes she is going to need to get used to wearing makeup
too, so why don't we start with her first makeup lesson now? Just don't
go telling people she's your Daddy, at least not yet."
Had I just heard Peter ask Mum if he could crossdress too? I wasn't sure.
I was too dazed by being caught dressed like a woman by my two young men
whom I had been trying to be a role model to and by the fact that Nia had
just said she was going to give me a makeup lesson.
Why did I just sit there? Why didn't I object to what Nia was about to
do?
I realised with the fact that I was sat there wearing a slip and panties
meant that there simply was no point arguing that men don't wear makeup.
Men like I had previously portrayed myself to be to my sons might not wear
makeup but I was obviously at the very least a transvestite if not a
transexual and such men, if I was still a man, all wore makeup.
I needed to put some distance between normal masculinity and myself. This
might give the boys the chance to still cling on to their masculinity
because my masculinity was slipping away from me like water off a duck's
back. I needed to be as feminine as possible so that my sons saw the man
I was previously portraying as the man they aspired to be and were
repulsed by the effeminate excuse for a man they saw in front of them. I
wanted them to be real men.
"Boys come and watch Portia get made up." Nia said.
So Mike and Peter watched as Nia taught me how to put on foundation and
concealer,
lipstick, eyeshadow and mascara.
Then came the nail polish.
Nia said "Don't worry Portia it will all wash off save for the nail
polish. We will take it off your fingernails but your toenails must
always be painted from now on Portia."
"Mum," Peter said. "Portia has too much body hair - shouldn't she book
herself an appointment at the beauticians?"
"OK Peter but make sure they don't charge for last minute cancellations
just in case Portia has not got more likes on Facebook than Andy "
So that night was the first time I made love to Nia as Portia, both of us
wearing slips, mine was pink and Nia's was black. For the first time we
did it with Nia on top.
The next morning I woke up to find lipstick marks on my pillow. It was
burgundy and Nia was wearing scarlet lipstick so I knew it was my own
lipstick I was looking at as I got out of bed to find my slippers had been
replaced with a pair of pink 3 inch stiletto heels which matched my slip.
I knew I was meant to put them on...
I was looking at them when Nia came in. "Come in you need to practice
walking in heels if you are going to pass as a woman when you go to the
beauticians on Saturday morning."
"But I thought we had a deal," I protested.
"Oh we do but Portia already has 50 friend requests for you to accept and
Andy you only have 86 friends. I think tomorrow is going to be your first
day 'en femme'! Are you excited?"
I shook my head but put on my new shoes anyway. It took me a few moments
to learn to walk like a lady but my appearance at the breakfast table drew
a cheer from Nia and giggles from the two men of the house.
Was I starting to think of myself as a woman now? Well I felt vulnerable
and sexy as I appeared in front of my sons in my first pair of stilettos.
I had put on a clean pair of silky pink panties, a matching suspender belt
and some fishnet stockings.
Having checked myself in the mirror I had satisfied myself that all my
makeup had been removed and I got dressed and left for work. The day was
uneventful until 4:00pm.
I got a text saying, "Portia now has 90 friends. Your account name is 'I
am Portia.' And your password is 'tranny dad' I don't want to see any
unopened messages or unresponded to friend requests. You are not to
change the password or the name of your account."
The account had pictures of my sons watching Nia applying my makeup and of
me in bed.
Amongst my new friends I had been sent around 3 pictures of men's penises
as well as pictures of people having sex and one of a threesome. The
pictures of penises seemed to say, we have something you don't. A big
penis. If you had a big penis you wouldn't be wearing lingerie.
Then there was a picture of a woman wearing a strap on penetrating another
woman from behind with the words:
"This is what I am going to do to you tonight!" from Trannylover.
I accepted all the friend requests including the one from Trannylover
whose message I had opened earlier.
I was scared and constantly looking over my shoulder as I walked home. I
knew I would be wearing a bra later tonight and how long would it be
before I had to acknowledge what I was starting to suspect about myself?
I got home without anything happening.
I tried to persuade Nia to think of Mike and Peter:
"Hasn't this gone far enough, Nia? What kind of example do you think I am
setting to our sons as their father wandering around dressed in fishnets
and suspenders all day?"
"You are right to think about Mike and Peter, Portia. What kind of
example would you be setting to them if you were not a man or rather
should I now say a woman of your word? But as their father? No, more as
their mother's girlfriend. But you are right, you are a bad example.
It's time you had a shave and got rid of all that unsightly hair before I
stick your breastforms on and put you in your bra. You will feel more
comfortable then and look like a real girl."
Why was I even listening? I had become sort of hypnotised by Nia's voice.
I didn't want to shave my arms, chest and legs but I did because she told
me too. Because I wanted to look like a real girl. I tried to persuade
Nia to let me book an appointment at the beauticians as we had previously
agreed. Nia told me though that I wanted to be comfortable, didn't I?
And it wasn't long before I was sitting at her dressing table, having
shaved my chest, arms, hands and legs, putting on my makeup for the first
time so I wouldn't feel stupid when Nia stuck the breastforms on my chest.
Nia watched me, approvingly and then pulled out some hair extensions when
I had finished.
She attached them to my hair and showed me how to make a ponytail and put
on a scrunchie.
"Sit still while I stick on your tits." Nia said.
I sat there like a sheep before a shearer. I could see myself in the
mirror as Nia strapped me into my first bra which matched my panties and
suspenders. I looked sexier than Nia in my lingerie and fishnet stockings
because Nia was wearing a tee shirt and jeans.
Nia told me to lie across the bed and pout as she then snapped pictures of
me.
Obviously it was uploaded to my page.
How was I going to go back to work wearing a bra and filled out by my new
tits!
While I put on my pink slip, and checked my Facebook status, Nia said "I'm
going to help Peta with her homework."
I was busy in a sexy daydream looking at myself for a moment, humming
"Pretty in pink" by the Psychedelic Furs, before I suddenly realised Nia
had a bag in her hands and had called Peter, "Peta", the feminine version
of his name, and referred to his homework as "her homework."
I rushed to Peter's room.
"I forbid this!" I shouted opening the door.
It was too late and I cut a pathetic figure. A man dressed in pink
lingerie wearing 3 inch stilettos, trying to prevent his girlfriend
feminising their oldest son. I looked at Peta. He didn't look like a boy
anymore. Peta was wearing what was almost a baby blue version of what I
was wearing save for the fact that Peta was wearing a neglig?e instead of
a slip so you could see his blue panties and suspenders and the fishnet
stockings he was wearing. He had already had his eyeshadow and mascara
applied and Nia was just finishing off painting his lips with a crimson
lipstick.
"You forbid your son to dress like you? Don't you feel a bit of a
hypocrite?"
"But he's only a boy."
"Well, she's a girl now, like you Portia." I then noticed that Nia had
taken off her tee shirt and jeans and was also wearing a neglig?e. Her's
was crimson with a black lace trim round her abundant breasts and around
the hem and she was wearing matching panties and fishnet stockings. I
don't know how I had not noticed how sexy she looked when I came into the
room. It must have been that I was distracted by what she was doing to
Peta.
So that left Mike as the only one of us not wearing lingerie. At that
point he came out of his room to see the three of us in Peta's room in our
lingerie.
His jaw dropped. He had his mobile phone in his hand.
"Mummy, is that Peter with you and Portia?"
"No, she's your sister Peta now sweetheart. Don't misgender her or you
will be dressed like the rest of us in bridal white."
"I will not." He replied slamming the door and locking himself in his
room.
I looked at my Facebook status. I had agreed I would be going shopping
and that I would go out dressed as a woman if my Facebook account for
Portia had double the number of friends I had as Andy. It did.
Nia had noticed it too.
"You are the man of the house now, Mike." She called out to him. "We're
all going lingerie shopping tomorrow."
I wasn't going to be able to hide tomorrow I had agreed to go out lingerie
shopping dressed as a woman and Nia was going to hold me to it. I knew
she was going to use it as a trip to buy lingerie for Mike too.
So the next morning I woke to find Nia had bought me five inch wedge heels
like her's and a matching black lace pencil dress so I picked out a black
bra and matching panties.
When I came down to breakfast, Mike was dressed as a boy and Petra was
dressed like me and his mother. I found out that Mike had posted a
picture of the three of us in our lingerie on my Facebook page which under
our deal had put an end to my old identity as Andy. I was Portia now. I
deleted Andy's Facebook account.
We went to the local department store with Mike in tow. He was not happy
about being brought with us to the lingerie department.
"Dad, why do I have to come here?"
"Michaela if you think it's appropriate to address me as your Dad, you
really haven't grasped gender identity, have you? I am Portia now. It's
time you faced your fears."
What fears? The fear every boy has of being seen in the lingerie
department and worst still of having lingerie bought for him.
And Mike was now standing there holding a white lace bra and panty set and
a white slip. He had faced his fears and would be one of the girls
tonight.
Mara
- 28.11.2022
- 14
- 0
