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Chapter 2 Ben Bradshaw, BNB, hated going to the Greek Life Council meeting and was so happy it was over. It was filled with pompous people grand standing their small achievements. The louder and longer the President of the frat or sorority opined about the good deeds their organization did, the more likely it was small and insignificant. The charity work was not about making the community a better place; it was about being better than the competition He wished that the service frats were part of the council. They did work and was not worried about getting undo recognition for it. Instead of saying they raised money for the homeless by standing on a corner with a can; they spent the weekend working with Habitat for Humanity. He was at least happy that he and two other of his frat brothers were at least active in the Big Brothers organization. Leaving the meeting, BNB rushed like J. J. Watts to the QB, across the HUB, the Hetzel Union Building, to get to the Women's Student Union offices. Being in a hurry, to try to get an impromptu meeting with Lilith Rose, was another reason for BNB to be happy. The Gord, one of the favorite to precede him as President of Alpha Sigma Sigma's, came up to with the idea of having this lady speak to frat about sexual harassment, assault and misconduct on college campuses. The man, who was passing the baton, liked that The Gord was showing self-motivation to be a leader without holding a position of power. Ben got into the office, and down the hall, saw light coming from an open door. He went there and saw an olive skin raven hair beauty. Lilith looked up and saw a handsome man in a blazer and tie. Mentally, she rolled her eyes, she wished that people who wanted the office next door, the College Republicans, would read the sign on the door, or at least notice the posters on the wall, before they made it her office. Before she could tell the uninvited and unwanted intruder, he was in the wrong office, the stranger inquisitively asked, in a voice as deep as a mole in the sub-basement of his home, if she was Lilith Rose? The furthest thing from Lilith's mind, was The Gord asking about her giving that presentation. She knew his heart was in the right place, but could not believe, for one second, that the frat would go along. Even if she was thinking about that, this man struck her fancy. "Yes, I am and who are you?" BNB was a little flustered; he was bad at following business protocol of introducing oneself. He was just too informal in life, and also, hated stating his office title. It made him feel like he was making himself sound more important than he was. He also hated it, for he went overboard with the formality, when nervous, he came off as stiff and stuck up. "Oh, sorry; I am bad at this, Ms Rose. I am Benjamin Bradshaw, President of Alpha Sigma Sigma, and Ryan Gordon told me you would give a talk to my fratory about sexual assaults and harassment on college campuses." "Oh the Gord did ask, good. I would love to, when are you thinking of having it, Mr. Bradshaw?" "Please call me Ben, and I thought The Gord had a great idea. Wish I would had thought of it. The first Friday you can do it, would be great. I was thinking at 8?" Having it on a Friday, made Lilith think the frat was just trying to get good press. "How about a next Thursday, instead, Ben?" It felt good hearing Lilith call him Ben. There was just something about her which made him want to get to know her. Ben knew it was not just her looks, while at least he hoped it wasn't. BNB did not know, but it was just how she carried herself, even while working on the computer. Lilith's body language was showing she was as passionate as a true believer about their faith, and had the determination of a beagle getting its prey. "I understand you are busy on Fridays, but if Thursday works better, then that is fine. It is just I know I can get more of my members to show up on Friday night, and I want as many of them there as possible." Ben's explanation did not make sense to Lilith, but she knew he believed what he said. "Really?" she asked. "Yeah, Thursday night our flag football team plays in frat league. Other members go out early for the drink specials at the bar, and there is nothing to entice them to stay for the talk. Friday night, they will be at the house, for we will have a party. With Ohio State coming here to play on Saturday noon, all the frat members will be staying in on Friday. I know it is short notice, but this Friday would be great. But, if Thursday night works better for you, then we will do a Thursday night, Lilly." Lilith cursed herself for liking that Ben called her Lilly. From most people, she hated them adding the long "e" sound to her name. It just sounded so patronizing to her. When Ben called her Lilly, it sounded like it came from a place of warmth and affection. Her reply, "Then this Friday it is. Send me an e-mail, and we can hammer out the details then." "Lilly, how about now; we can grab something to eat, and have it ready? It would be one less thing one each of our plates." Lilith knew that Ben just wanted to spend more time with her, and did not care. She wanted to spend more time with him also. There was something about that man. She hoped it was not just his looks. It was not; it was the nice blend of being casual and assertive which drew Lilith to him. He was able to show strength, without the typical male puffing of the chest. "Let me just finish with this letter and we can go." "I will be in your waiting area, take your time." ********** Sarah arrived at her dorm room after classes on Monday. This was the first time the lady was in there, fully knowing who she really was. Now, it was just time to wait for her roommate, Dillon to get back. She had something important to tell him, and yesterday at Brunch, there was not the right moment. While waiting, Sarah was as content and cozy, as a curled-up cat sleeping next to a fireplace. She marveled at how knowing who you really are, could bring such peace to a person. Her having cotton panties, and her prosthetic vagina also helped. She felt right. The prosthetic vagina, being a beacon of strength for her, was ironic. It was for Lilith bought and gave it to her, it in an effort to try to torment James' decision of living as a woman. Now, what was supposed to break her actually was making her more in tune with who she was. Dillon came in and greeted James. Instead of their customary chat before dinner, Dillon suggested that they go out to dinner, just to chat about the day. Sarah knew why, that farm boy was falling in love with his Ronnie and wanted to head over to his place to spend time with his gender fluid boyfriend. "Dillon, before we go to dinner, can we talk for one moment here? It will not take long. I know you are not in a hurry, but I much rather say what I need to say in private." Hearing James wanting to talk in private, did not get Dillon out of his good mood, but did slow the man down. The smitten man wanted to be around Ronnie, but that could wait. Right now, James needed him. "Of course, what is up James?" "You know this weekend?" Dillon thought he knew what was up. That James wanted to deal with the date they had. His friend must have been a little freak out about how serious he took the date that Dillon took him on. "James, Saturday night, you just really took playing Sarah serious, don't worry about it. I know you love Cara and will be with her." "Dillon it is not about if I am gay. I cannot be gay, for I am not James. I am Sarah. I was not playing Sarah at all. I was her. I started down the long road of being able to present myself as her, as much as I need to. I scheduled a meeting with Center for Counseling and Psychological Services for this Thursday. I wanted to tell you yesterday, but there was really no time at the brunch. Please, do not tell Ronnie yet. I will tell her the next time I see her." Dillon was processing what Sarah just told him. He could not find the right words to give his support. This was for it was no big deal to him. The person in front of him was the same to him, if they were male or female. Sarah broke the silence. "Dillon, your actions will show your support, so don't worry about saying the right thing, you big lunk! I know nothing will change between us and so do you. Now, let's go and eat, so you can get to Ronnie's." "Sarah, we will get going only if you are ready." Hearing her friend use the right name, made the lady have a revelation, and felt even more at ease. "I am ready, come on, I want to hear about your day and more about Ronnie." ******* The idle mind is the Devil's playground, and he always made sure, he had some playmates with him. This idiom was holding true with Cara, and the friends the Devil had running free in her mind, were Guilt, and Self-doubt. Cara was assured about her relationship with Sarah, when she was around other people. When she was alone, the guilt from her religion came creeping into her mind. It had taught her that her feeling for Sarah was a sin. Self-doubt also came to keep Guilt Company. She never had any feeling for women before Sarah. Were the feelings she had real, or just a manifestation of her lust for James? Cara was wise enough to know, that the guilt and insecurity, came from how others would perceive her relationship with Sarah. The giggle twin knew that her family, would at best, look down on the relationship, and at worse, not have anything to do with her. Having these feelings, was a way for the lady's subconscious, to try to get her to back out of what her heart wanted. Family was so important to Cara and the pressure to conform to their standards was immense on her. She knew that others would tell her that being true to herself, was more important than keeping people who would reject her in her life. That was sound advice in theory; in real life, not so much. The people, who gave these words of wisdom, were the same people that made sure others who disapproved of their activities, kept them hidden. Some theologians believed Hell was turning one's back on love, and either decision, Cara would have to make, would put her there. Stay true to her emotions, she felt she would be turning her back on her family's love for her. Denying her emotions for Sarah, Cara would be turning her back on her true love and herself. The lady with her own personal, 'Kobayashi Maru', needed guidance, and decided to visit home for it. Next weekend coming up, she would visit her family and some friends. With her girlfriend being only a half hour away from Cara's family, she also decided to offer Sarah a ride home. The loving woman knew that Sarah would like to visit her mom and dad, plus, those two could hang while out back at home. ************ Dr Allagi checked his work email one last time to help plan his day tomorrow. He saw that James Young wrote him to set up a meeting to discuss a new project. The professor found that a little strange, for he knew that his student did the project, he saw James out as Sarah on Friday night. The teacher just believed that James was stuck on how to write the project up in a paper. Dr Allagi knew that was one of the downfalls of giving so much agency to his students about the project. The students who would take it the most serious, could be stuck on how to write their experience. They would not know the right way of tying what they did to the class discussions. Dr Allagi was just going to have to read the attachment and then send a reply telling James he was on the right track. He knew James' paper would be exactly what was expected because of how serious this student took the class's subject matter. Dr Allagi opened the attached file to see: The saying to walk a mile in someone else's shoes means, before judging someone, you must understand his or her experiences, challenges, thought processes, hope, dreams, and aspirations along with a myriad of other factors. I took this modern day proverb and applied it to my class project by living as a woman for the weekend. The reasoning behind my choice for the project was one of the course's objectives which were to raise better awareness, in the student, of the feminine experience in culture today. I could not think of better way for a man to understand the feminine experience than to actually experience it. I failed miserably at the objective of the project. No man, can ever, or could come remotely close to understanding womanhood, just by wearing heels and a dress. Even if a person does take the above mentioned adage literally, they only come to a better understanding of the point of view of others. The experiences, challenges, thought processes, hope, dreams, and aspirations, which would come to a man, when he presents himself as a woman, are only a facsimile of the real thing. Another expression comes to mind right now to explain why I failed, 'you can put lipstick on a pig, but it is still a pig'. A man in a dress and makeup is just that, a man in a dress and makeup. Clothing and personal grooming does not make the person who they are. If a man wears a dress, not for he wants to, but to get insight onto something he is not, it is not natural, and just a mask for them to play dress up. The person makes the clothing and personal grooming what they are. Any man, who believed that they are experiencing life as a woman by doing my project, was fooled by an imitation of life. They would have taken themselves being caught up in cosplay and not notice there was any real difference in who they were. Other people might treat them differently, but they would not see themselves different, and their reaction to this treatment would have been unnatural. How a man was portraying himself when enfemme would not be organic. They would have to think to change their walk, they manner of speaking, how they interact with their surroundings and even how they think. They would not automatically feel the fear a woman has when walking home alone in an ally. They would not casually notice the outfits of another woman before her physical traits. The importance others, put on the man's physical appearance as a woman, would not be as important as it should be. Most men can never truly understand how good it feels to find that little accessory which pulls together an outfit. How a woman uses the length and cut of a dress or a skirt to convey to the world how they feel. How adding or taking away something small from an outfit totally changes the message the woman is sending. How important it is for women to understand each other. With so many shortfalls, in just trying to present someone as whom they are, not this project was akin to a human saying they understand what being a bird is like, for they flew in a plane. Neither could give a true comprehension into being what either one is, not for the experience is not even close to being the same. I might have failed at the goal of the project, but I did gain valuable insight into who I am. This project helped me in my personal growth in becoming the person I should be, the person I am, but could not admit. Even if this project could had given a man the insight into what it is to be a woman, I would had failed for who I am. I am a woman. Sarah was my name for the weekend, and is now my real name; was so natural for me. I was able to understand what a man could never understand about being a woman. I knew it was who I am, when I used my dancing, to try to entice a man into having interest in me. It was confirmed, even more, when the lady I slow danced with, took the lead. Neither of these actions were thought out, I just did them. It felt right to feel how I felt while undertaking this project; I knew it was who I am, to me being, Sarah, is just self evident. I am doing womanhood an injustice by just talking about a few of the talking points which people would find, as just stereotypes of women to state, why. Having me explain I am who I am would be like having a fish explain, it is a fish. It is just who I am, and any reasoning behind it would be obvious. In closing, the philosopher, Wittgenstein, made the famous observation, "If a lion could talk, we would not understand him." This could be explained as just living as something you are not, does not make you experience life from that point of view. I found out that I had been living life as a gender which I did not know I was, and now, it is giving me a better understanding why my perspective on life did not fall into the range of a male. After reading the rough draft of the paper, Dr Allagi, called James right away. He wanted to make sure his student was getting the proper guidance about the personal truth which the project revealed. There was no doubt in the professor's mind, Sarah was being totally honest about her gender identity, and also wanted to respect the lady for who she really was, while also respecting her privacy. Sarah did not answer her phone, so the good professor left a message telling her to call him back as soon as she got this, and also, to stop by his office as soon as she could tomorrow before class. *********** Clueless, Johnny gripped to Villian, "I don't believe that BNB is going to have someone talk to us about the dangers of sexual assault." The Villain replied, "It is bullshit, and all about the Gord scoring some points with Lexie! I swear I do not know what happened to that dude, all of a sudden he became whipped. He also thinks that having us forced to hear this talk will somehow help me win the Presidency. I was going to be behind him, but not now. Who knows he might try to amp up our charity work even more that BNB has been trying." Hoghead laughed before he joined in the conversation, "Yeah who joins a frat to help others?" The pledge Matt walked in when Hoghead asked question, which ridiculed one of the reasons he joined. ?Well, I did,? he said to them. The Villain did not like the attitude this pledge has been giving lately. The boy, who wanted the frat?s status quo to stay the same, saw the pledge as being uppity. The lip, Matt was giving and also his initiative in helping out was all the more reason why he was going to make sure he became President. Rules be damned, he was going to re- implement the old ways, for the pledge class underneath him, and make the members who joined this year, go through the process again. They would know their role, or get washed out, like the insignificant smudge of dirt on a work shirt. The Villain was going to at least let Matt know his input was not welcome, nor was it relevant. ?Was anyone talking to you, dumb ass? No, so get going while the grownups talk!? Matt knew nothing would come from him engaging in the conversation, so he dismissed The Villain by saying, ?Whatever dude!" The frat brother was highly offended that that lowly pledge gave such a cocky response. If the upperclassman had his way, that freshman would regret this day. ?Listen here pledge, you will call me Mister The Villain, from now on. You need to have respect for your elders. Now, I want you to say you understand ok, freshman?? Matt did his best not to laugh at being chastised by one of the frat brothers. He did not mean any disrespect by calling the upperclassman ?dude?. The pledge made the mistake of treating The Villain, as an equal. The Villain did not see any man who was not in a frat, as his true equal. ?I understand.? The Villain was as mad as Bruce Banner before the blackout. ?You call me Mister The Villain when you talk to me from now on, understand?? Even with having to call the frat brothers by as Mister, being that it was only during official pledge activity, Matt was wise enough to know not to pick this fight. It was no big deal to him to put ?Mister? in front of The Villain. Matt was not going to be interacting with him that much anymore anyways. Before he could agree, they all heard a chuckle from the person entering the room. It was The Gord. He could not believe how upset his friend was about something which had to be nothing. He also found it funny that someone who always claim to be ?chilling? to be this upset. ?Dude, I thought you were always chilling. You know you can?t tell him to call you Mister.? ?I can if I want.? ?Ok, you can?t expect him to do so. Plus, think of it the first time he does that with BNB around, you will get a reminder how our president got his frat name. Do you want that?? The Gord being right about how BNB would handle what The Villain wanted, made him as unhappy as a drunk missing last call at the bar. The unpleasant mode was made worse by what The Villain saw as an act of betrayal, taking the side of a pledge over a brother. ?Yeah, thanks for the heads up brother, The Gord. Now pledge, just run along and don?t speak to any brother unless spoken to.? Both Matt and The Gord were happy with the fact that The Villain relented and did not care about him trying to save some face. They knew the boy who was out of line was just trying to win a battle in a lost war to help his hurt ego. ************* Lilith came home, soaking in the sunshine of the springtime of her friendship, and hating to admit it, hopefully a relationship? That Ben Bradshaw was one charming man and his actions just kept on making her heart flutter. He insisted that he paid for dinner, for invited her to dinner, but when she suggested that they do this again, next Monday, with her a stipulation that the meal would be her treat, he reluctantly agreed. He wanted to make sure that anything which Lilith needed for the presentation, would be at her disposal, and he was enthusiastic about her suggestion of having, Alpha Sigma Sigma?s sister sorority, Eta Omicron, at her talk. In fact, he added to it, by saying they would be invited to have supper at the frat house. She liked how, in an impromptu manner, he said it would be nice to do something which was nice, and spur of the moment, for the girls. Then, he started to talk about how usually the nicest gestures one can do for another, were never planned out. As Lilith came into the apartment, that sunshine which was shining on her, could not help but also brighten up the day of for Audrey. It was not that Lilith?s friend was in a bad mood, it was just the good vibes, coming off of the lady who thought she found a special guy, were infectious. With joy in her voice, Lilith said, ?Hey Audrey, this Friday I am giving a talk on sexual assault at The Gord?s frat.? Audrey could not help but laugh, for how happy Lilith sounded about giving a talk about such a serious subject. As soon as she heard Audrey?s response, Lilith join in the laughter and then in a more serious tone said. ?Ok, I will start over. This Friday, I am giving a talk on sexual assault at Sigma Sigma Alpha.? ?I am so happy for you,? Audrey said with a smile. ?I was wondering if you will come along for moral support. This is the first time I will be giving this talk, not in front of a captive audience.? Lilith has given this talk many times before, but it was always at dorms, and attendance was mandatory. This time, any and all of the audience could walk out. If she only knew how BNB would make sure that the frat brothers will stay, she would not worry about people leaving early. Also, her adding the sorority to the audience, helped with giving incentive for the frat members to stay. None of the brothers wanted to get a reputation that they did not care about this critical subject matter. Audrey quickly agreed to go and from the Kitchen Cara said, ?Sarah and I will be there also. I will get Ronnie and Dillon to come too.? Cara wanted her friend to do her best and knew that the more people in her corner would help her. She also wanted Dillon to see the best side of Lilith again. The farm boy, seeing Lilith, is passionate about looking out for others, will help ease his ill feeling about her. The lady who was finding out what the love of a supportive woman could do, was finding more confidence in who she was, and going for what she wanted in life. Cara wanted Dillon and Lilith to make amends. The caring girlfriend, knew that Sarah was going to need all the support she could get around her while she make the huge decision on, if and when, to start to transition, and share with the public, the wonderful strong female she really was. Dillon and Lilith being on the outs, will hamper those two being there for Sarah. The giggle twin, offering to put in motion those two stubborn people getting back on good terms, also had the effect on not letting her mind become idle. Wondering about how long it would take Dillon to warm up to Lilith, would make sure her mind did not wander towards her questioning, how could something which made her feel so good and strong, be considered wrong by her faith. ********* ?We will be there for Lilith, bye Sweetie.? Ronnie said, as he ended his call with Sarah. The more Ronnie interacted with Sarah, the more he found her to be a true sweetheart. It was not only that Sarah was trying to help Lilith and Dillon repair their friends, it was how eager she was in doing so. Then, with the dinner party that Ronnie wanted to throw, Sarah started to work hard on making it happen this weekend. It was one of the few weekends where everyone in her group of friends, and Ronnie?s boy, would all be on campus. It was Monday night, so at Ronnie?s house, it was pizza night. Getting delivery was a good way of easing into the school week. As Ronnie and his boys sat around the TV eating, she brought up they were going to have guests this Friday. All of the boys were ecstatic hearing the news. Ronnie inviting Dillon?s friends over meant their roommate found someone he really clicked with. To them, Ronnie was going to make a great spouse for someone. Out of Robby, Bobby, Ricky and Mike, the latter was the happiest. With being an orphan, the aspiring doctor really has to be prudent with his spending. Having people over for supper, meant he got to do some social interaction without spending a lot of money. He did not like that he thought of himself more than how important this night was for Ronnie. Mike soon lost the feeling being more selfish than Scrooge, when he felt thrilled by the sight of Ronnie glowing from her feeling for Dillon. Seeing his friend, in such a good place, made Mike as hopeless as a fool in love trying to hold in his excitement for him. When Ronnie said they were having leg of lamb, Mike made a mental note to buy it. The reason behind Mike?s planned gesture was not to ease the remorse he felt about thinking about himself first. The man with no family had to do so his entire life. He knew it was part of survival, to think of oneself first. Mike also knew, thoughts were not actions, and his actions would be all a gesture about celebrating his joy for Ronnie and Dillon. ********* The bed, Jason Harris was lying, on was as cold and his heart and uncomfortable as the fellow inmates and guards were making him feel. Where Jason was resting his head, was also as rigid as his thoughts about what transpired on Friday. In his mind, he was innocent. Cara just needed to relax some, to get her in his bed, and he was helping her. She wanted him and oh, she would have enjoyed the sex more than comic book fan, meeting Stan Lee. Yeah, he possessed Rohypnol, but with it being for recreational use, and with his spotless record, the DA should have pleaded it down to a misdemeanor, at worse. The man, who like the rest of his stripped brethren, was feeling he was unjustly behind bars, past was not as spotless as his record. Growing up in a small town in Amish Country, the authority tended to look the other way when Jason was involved in an incident. Being the star pitcher and outfielder on the state champion, helped the cops look past his youthful indiscretions. If the police saw trouble, he was in; it was just boys being boys. The Harris? family reputation of being pillars of the community, help the rest of the townsfolk not see his actions as serious as they were. The people of the town, never deeply inspected the Harris? pillar, if they had, they would had seen it was made of salt. The most serious accusation against him came from the loosest girl in town. Everyone knew she had sex with half of the boys, and even a couple of the girls, in her graduation class. Her unfounded, and uninvestigated claims, came from him spurning her advances. She was just trying to latch on to him, as her ticket out of their rural paradise, and when Jason said ?no?, she wanted to make him stuck there also. Jason felt unloved for his parents, as they still have not posted his bail yet. His parents did not post bail yet, for it was hard to raise the money quick; plus, a couple of nights in jail might scare him straight. They were as sick as a man after eating a dozen doughnuts of always getting that wild one of those situations. [CF1]They believed he was just sowing his wild oats before entering the real world. The cell door opened and the guard said, ?Jason Harris, come with me.? Jason satid on the bed and asked where they were going? The guard did not answer, and went over to the bed, and forcefully removed him from it. Jason stumbled and fell; his nose hit the hard concrete floor, and was bloodied. Then, the guard?s cold words of ?you listen to me when I tell you to do something,? hit him hard'; he was in some serious trouble if people did not believe his version of the truth. ********* It was Sarah?s second day of classes with knowing who she really was. Walking around, trying to be the man she was not, felt more of a project than the past weekend. The past weekend did help her in keeping on the charade. She knew that most people are too busy in their life to truly notice people they are not interacting with. After her first class, she went to Dr Allagi?s office, and was happy that he door was open. As she knocked on the door, the good professor looked up from his computer screen and smiled as he saw her. Sarah closed the door behind her, straightens the back of her pants leg before she sat down and crossed her legs. Her Women?s Studies professor was relieved to see her. He was genuinely concerned about his student?s well being and wanted to make sure that Sarah was taking the right steps of consulting with someone about her-self discovery. Sarah started the conversation, ?I am so sorry that I did not return your call last night; by the time I got around to doing so, it was past 9 PM.? Dr Allagi wanted to respect Sarah?s gender identity, and at the same time, respect her privacy. ?It is fine, I am happy that you came to my office. I just want to talk to you about the rough draft of your class paper.? ?So I have to stay with my project.? ?No, you do not, but why do you want to change it?? ?Well, I did not achieve the goal of it,? Sarah replied. ?Yes you did, but that is not the point. Do you mind if I call you Sarah, now?? Dr Allagi?s question did not scare the young lady, she knew he meant only in here. She did not mind, in fact, she preferred it. The question itself made her feel, for the first time, she was not an actress in a play badly portraying a man. In her excitement, she said, ?Yes. I am...no. I mean yes, I am Sarah, please call me Sarah.? The answer which came out of Sarah?s mouth from her tongue being as tied as the ending of so many soccer games, made her giggle. Dr Allagi laughed a little to help her ease how uptight she was. ?Good, Sarah. I will still use James in class unless you go public with your real name, The paper is great; you did some personal growth and got a true understanding of not only yourself, but also, the feminine perspective on life. I want you to write that paper. I also wanted to make sure you are getting the professional guidance you need.? Hearing her professor use her real name, made the class and the paper more relevant as where two lovers go to spend time together. It felt too good to be seen as who she was without having to wear the physical clues. It also felt good that Dr Allagi was looking out for her. ?Yes, I am Dr Allagi, I have set up an appointment with CAPS and it is for next Monday.? CAPS was The Center for Counseling and Psychological Services. Hearing about Sarah?s appointment with CAPS, made Dr Allagi know his concerns was about nothing. He also knew it was better to be concerned about nothing in this situation, than let the student not know they have a strong support group here on campus. That the support group on campus, will also help once they enter the real world, from the contacts made in it. ?Good. You also know that if you need someone to talk to anytime, feel free to call me. Also, you might not know this, LIFE house is having Courtney Reyes come to campus to give a talk about being true to yourself. I think you will find the talk interesting.? The logic behind Dr Allagi?s suggesting the talk, was that Courtney Reyes was a transgender woman. She had a troubled life before she started to transition, and now was a motivational speaker. The lady was a dynamo in helping people be able to bring out the best in themselves. She did it by holding up a mirror first to herself, to show others, she saw herself for who she truly was; so they, too, not be scared of looking at the mirror when she turn it around for them to gaze into. He knew it would be good for Sarah?s growth for a person to see another transgender person thriving in life. Sarah thanked Dr Allagi for the suggestion, and went to leave. He asked his student to stay and Sarah politely decline. The young lady did not want to be treated different, in either a good or bad way, because she was a transgender lady. Sarah falsely believed that Dr Allagi would have had no time for James, other than for class matters. Dr Allagi was treating Sarah as normal when he invited her to stay; he saw a chance of just talking to someone while at work, about something which did not cover his academic pursuits, video games. The man who was a child at heart, remembered seeing her wear a Skyrim t-shirt in class, and that was his favorite video game. ?Before go, did you play the Skyrim Oblivion mod yet?? Sarah was shocked to hear the question, and also the information which came with it. They made a mod for Skyrim, using the game mechanics of its predecessor, and Dr Allagi played the video game. These new pieces of information intrigued the lady, like a beagle on a scent, so she sat right back down and said, ?I didn't even know they made it, have you played it yet?? ************ ?It is going to be this Friday!? Lexie said, sounding as excited as a girl watching the Fab Four come off the airplane on their first US tour. The Gord was shocked at how happy his woman was. In his eyes, it was only her friend that was only going to have a talk at his Frat about a topic which needed to be discussed. To Lexie, it was so much more, her man put doing the right thing ahead of how it would affect his status in his frat. She knew it was him pushing BNB to have Lilith come to discuss sexual assaults on the college campus, would make The Gord lose votes in his endeavor to become president of the Frat. The small minded members of the frat would just see him as a social justice warrior. ?Yes, BNB like the idea, and you know how he gets when he wants something done.? ?Don?t downplay your role in it,? she calmly replied. ?I am not. I only brought it up to him, for when Cara told us what almost happened, I wanted to help make sure women felt safe around the frat. I should have felt that way earlier; I should have done a lot different.? Lexie did not want her man to feel remorse about things which he could not change, so she gave him encouragement and changed the subject. ?You are doing it and that is all that matters. I know there is a big party at the frat on Saturday, but Ronnie invited us over for a dinner party for Dillon?s friends to meet her boys. Don?t worry, it will be over well before the Alpha house starts rocking.? Ryan Gordon?s happiness was as genuine as a drunken person?s opinion about being invited to the dinner party. He wanted to spend more time with Lexie in social settings, where they could act more like a couple. The boy who was becoming a man also liked Ronnie, that man was good for Dillon. The Gord?s maturing, and his feeling about the party made words which up to four days ago, would had never been uttered by him, came out of his mouth, ?Cupcake, the dinner party sounds better than the party.? ********** Thursday, Sarah was walking across campus, when she heard her male name being called out. Even with it coming towards her, louder, she still thought the person was calling out for someone else. Then, only when she got taped on the shoulder, and heard with a laugh, ?Dude, don?t you know your own name?? did she realize it was for her. She giggled to herself for if was her male persona?s friend, Simon Tarbuck, who did not know her real name. ?Sarah said, ?Sorry Simon, I was daydreaming.? ?Man, no need to be sorry. I was joking. I have not seen you around. This Friday there is a little get together at my apartment.? Sarah thought it would be nice to see some of James? friends, but wanted to clear making plans with Cara. Her girlfriend might want to stay at the frat after Lilith?s presentation. ?I will try to make it.? Being the geek he was, Simon said, ?There is no try, only do.? ?I already have plans with Cara, so I will see if we can swing by afterwards.? Simon face lit up like a homecoming bonfire, and his arms extended in excitement for his friend. ?It is about time, I am so happy for you dude.? Sarah took Simon?s gesture as an invite for a hug and gave him one. Simon did not find the hug itself odd, for how long the person he thought was James, spent chasing after her heart?s desire. He did find the hug itself a little odd. It was not as forceful as a hug from another man, lingered a little too long and it had more warmth in it. He quickly dismissed it as his friend just feeling relief from getting what he wanted. After the embrace, Sarah said she was off to get lunch and Simon offer to tag along. It would be nice to catch up more with his friend and see if anything was new in his life. The lunch itself was uneventful to Simon; he did not read anything into the short answers the lady who was posing as a man gave. To him, it was just how men talked when there was nothing new under the Sun. Sarah, on the other hand, felt as she was giving a bad performance on Who Lines is it Anyways. She swore that Simon was seeing through her bad improve, in giving those short bland answers. She stalled more than a lemon. Then, the lady in fear of that her friend was going to look behind the curtain, was saved by bringing up Simon?s favorite topic of conversation, himself. The aspiring chemical engineer, who could not wait to tell his friend, all about his internship at Bayer?s Pittsburgh campus, was not really conceited. It was part of human nature to want to share the good in one?s life, and his work experience was far beyond good. He was invited back next summer for a paid internship, and couple of the workers eagerly took the role of mentor for him. *********** ?Come on, my stud, go give Lilith a little encouragement. It would mean so much coming from you.? Dillon reluctantly went to do the right thing. He saw how nervous, his normally confident friend was, and she needed to see someone who can put out those seeds of self doubt which were in her mind. The farm boy was the best weed killer for stopping any unwarranted negativity to fester in his friends? mind, he was too straight forward. They would know it was his honest assessment. Lilith was pacing back and forth, and heard Dillon?s deep voice say, ?Calm down, you gave this talk many of times before, you know what you are talking about.? Lilith?s uncertainty came from her, and the decisions she had made lately. Most of them had been wrong. She did not give Sarah a chance with her project. Then, trying to hurt her friend, she almost got Cara raped. Those actions have lead to her working on repairing so many of her friendships. One, which was the strained the most, was hers with Dillon, and it touched her that even with them not really on good speaking terms, he came over to help her. ?Dillon, I just don?t trust myself. I have a new exercise which I been doing in these talks and do not know if I should. I think that they would not be taken it seriously.? Dillon was an imposing figure and his presence was as strong as a farmers family?s ties were to each other. He knew that BNB also wanted this talk and he will keep his brothers in line. ?Trust me they will. If there is anything I can do help, I will.? Lilith smiled, because Dillon would be a perfect participant in the presentation. She wanted the interactive part of the talk to be a surprise, so she whispered the favor into her friend?s ear. Dillon shook his head ?yes? and said, ?Only, if you pick The Villain to be the other participant.? BNB saw Lilith whisper into Dillon?s ears and got a little jealous. How the President wanted to be the person, that the lady shared things with, for she was like a star in the his night?s skyline. BNB was happy feeling that way, for it would just make him go after his goal. BNB joined those two talking, ?Hello Lilith, and hey, Dillon, it is great seeing you two. Mind if I join you two?? Lilith wanted Ben to join them. She really enjoyed the time they spent together and was looking forward to Monday, when those two would share dinner again. Dillon also was happy that he join them too, even with the tundra of their friendship defrosting, he wanted out of the conversation. The man wanted Lilith to remember how grievous her actions towards Sarah were, and it was not time for them to act like everything was back to normal. He also saw the look those two were giving each other, so he knew he could leave without making Lilith feel too bad. ?Good ahead Bad News, I need to go back to my Ronnie anyway.? ?Lilly, do you need any help?? ?Yeah, Ben, can you tell me who is, The Villain?? When Dillon heard BNB call Lilith, Lilly, he stopped faster than a car hitting a brick wall. He wanted to hear that little firebrand put her unsuspecting victim, in what she believed, was his place. He also wanted to save BNB from her wrath for he knew the frat president meant no harm. When the man, who was going to get a small dose of guilty entertainment, before saving BNB, heard Lilith sweetly give an answer, he shook his head. His friend must really like Ben to put up with him calling her ?Lilly?. BNB said, ?I can introduce you to him now.? Lilith had a grin on her face, ?Just point him out to me.? Then, she lean up to whisper in Ben?s ear. BNB lean down a little to meet her halfway. As Lilith told him why she wanted to know who The Villain was, tingles went all over BNB?s body. Part of it was from how sensitive his ears were, another part was how sweet her voice sounded to him, and yet, another part, was her sharing something with him. The best part of the secret which only three people knew was that they all liked it. The grin on Ben?s face was as big as his crush on the lady he was talking to as he said, ?I will do so as we eat supper together. That is, of course, if you will give me the pleasure of sitting with me.? Lilith found Ben?s invite to sit with him charming. It was confident, but at the same time, did not take her answer for granted. ?Of course I will, now let us go eat.? ********** Jason Harris sat in his living room bored as hell. It was Friday night, of his senior year, and all of his roommates were out on the town. He could not join them because of the newest piece of jewelry which he was wearing, an ankle bracelet. It was an expensive fashion statement which he did the best to hide. This was for the cost did not come from ankle bracelet being gold, but from it being a court ordered gps tracking device. If being monitored 24/7 was not enough, his roommates were all pissed at him. Another condition of Jason?s bail was why he was sitting along. No alcohol was allowed in the apartment. They were not mad about him being busted for having that class one controlled substance, they hated that until his legal issues were cleared up, no more parties would be thrown at their place. The man wrongly felt the legal system was making a federal case out of nothing. He thought the drug charges were unfair retribution for the local DA could not get him on the bogus charges of attempted rape. He was just trying to get Cara to lighten up; she was all tense from having issues with a man. In his mind, this will all go away after his next court hearing. The man sitting alone on a Friday night? assessment of the future was as flaw as his views of the past. The court system was making a federal case out of this for he committed a federal crime. The local DA was just going to charge him with a misdemeanor which would get expunged from his records, until the US Attorney for Middle District of Pennsylvania, David J. Freed, called him about the case. Now, Jason?s future was in the hands of in law enforcement agency which took no prisoners when putting criminals in prisons. If Jason only knew how much freedom he really had right now, he would be happy about having the option of changing the channel to see what else was on the television. ******** Lilith looked, and was pleased that the Alpha?s house common room was full. Seeing that the sisters of Eta Omicron were there, pleased her more. Then, up front was her friends, her support. It was nice see the three couples of Lexie and The Gord, Dillon and his Ronnie and the Giggle Twins, Cara and Sarah. Sarah, having a big smile, and waving, made Lilith wonder why she did not see that strong female hiding within James the entire time. With the three couples, was Audrey, even with being the seventh wheel, she did not feel out of place. Audrey had her priorities of getting through college, so the lady was like Cameo, no romance for her. Audrey was under the misunderstanding that she can find love, on her own terms, and when the time fit her. If she did not look, then by not looking, the chance for finding true love would become slimmer and slimmer. Lilith started the talk, and right away she could tell, The Villain was taking her talk less serious than he would a clown. After she gave the stat that a study in three major university campuses showed that 1 in 13 college students were drugged, the man who she was going to force to be a volunteer, rolled his eyes. Lilith said while pointing at him, ?Care to share what you disagree with?? The Villain was so happy that she tried to call him out. He could not only put this man hating lezbo in her place, but he could make more of his brothers look down on the man who pushed for this talk, The Gord. The man who thought he knew more than he did, paused for a moment. He wanted dramatic effect to add the poignancy of the truth bomb he was going to drop. Another, he wanted to figure out the best manner to attack this fake news. The members of his sister sorority were there. The Villain need to be respectful, while at the same time, making Lilith and The Gord look like the fools they were. The man who thought this statement was going to secure him becoming the next President of Alpha Sigma Sigma, cleared his throat. ?There are over 50 college students in here and none of us have been drugged, so please do not try to scare us with that urban myth!? The room became quite. Lilith stretch out her hand to ease the buildup of tension. Dillon shook his head in disbelief. BNB shot him a look. Sarah was going to tell that little boy off. Before she could start up her putting the Villain down, her girlfriend said, ?My name is Cara Ham, and last week a guy I was having drinks with, drugged it.? The Villain was not going to let a plant prove him wrong. The only reason that lady was there was to back up the lie. He still was going to be respectful, but show her to be the lying bitch she was. ?If that was true, then it would be all over the news.? Cara felt herself gaining more strength as she was forced to tell her story. The lady who was now and forever part of the #metoo movement said, ?I was lucky and he got caught doing so. He is out on bail right now.? Before The Villain could respond, a couple of more people joined Bad News in giving him the look. ?OK, OK, I will give you that. That is one person who came here with the speaker, just to backup that fake news.? Then, Annabelle Mitchell spoke up. She saw another lady, who was drugged like her story being dismissed. There was no way she was going to let this occur and felt safe enough to show the brave lady she was not alone, and that jerk was wrong about it being fake news. Anna was going to share this story with everyone, for she was surrounded by her sisters. ?My name is Annabelle Mitchell, in my freshman year someone, put something in my drink. I was lucky that the girls who are now my sorority sisters were there. They kept me from going somewhere private with that creep.? More people started to look in disapproval at The Villain. He knew that he had to do damage control, ?I am sorry. I just try to see the best people and that number is high.? Sarah thought The Villain was right about one thing, he was sorry. The lady?s opinion was the consensus of the room. Many people thought so, for how he wanted to fight about the seriousness of sexual assaults on campus. More than the general public would like to admit, thought so, for what he spoke of, had to be the truth, for they believed it so. More girls stated their names and what happened to them. Each story was more horrible than the last. Each story was not only therapeutic to the teller, but also to others, who shared the pain. Then, a sorority pledge, Ruth Stern, shared that she was raped. It felt like time stood still to Robin, and everyone looked at her like she was weak. She was not feeling the cleansing of getting the dark secret off of her soul. Before the brave lady could start to cry, Matt Piper spoke up, ?My name is Matt Piper and I was drugged and raped in high school.? Matt did not want to take away from the women feeling empowered, and that was why he waited to share his dark secret. At the same time, he was going to make sure that the strong girl who told all how she was made powerless, was not going to feel alone. He knew how powerless just thinking about being rape could make a victim. The man who was going to be known as Oz felt relieved to share for his pain was able to help someone else. He knew so when Robin picked her head back up. Her doing so, also made him keep his head up. As these ladies and Matt were claiming back their strength, The Villain was trying to sneak his way out of the room. There was no way he was going to face being around all these people who thought he was a fool. He was met by BNB?s grip on his right arm?s lower bicep. The grasp felt like as strong as the claiming bite of a pit bull. In a barely audible low pitch, BNB growled, ?You are staying here with me!? The only reason Bad News had to stop him, was for Fonger was further away from the exit than him. Since helping with cleaning the frat house on Saturday, he has found doing was the best way of leading. The frat brother who was joining BNB in thwarting the getaway said, ?Pres, you go back to your friends, I?ll hang out with The Villain.? BNB gave thanks and left. He was happy that more of his brothers who shared his vision of the frat, was showing self-motivation to step up in leadership role. To BNB, leadership came from the person itself, not a title. He might have been voted President, but he was a leader ever since he went from being a pledge to a member. When he officially joined the frat, none of the members did any charity work which was not directly tied to Alpha Sigma Sigma. Now, him and a few others of them, were involved in Big Brothers. A couple, who had family in the military, helped out with the Gary Sinise Foundation. The man who?s escape was foiled, bad mood went worse when that underclassman offered to babysit him. That sophomore was underneath him in the frat?s hierarchy. It was an affront to the status quo for Fonger to even offer according to The Villain. Fonger needed to learn his place. That lesson would be taught next year, when there's a new administration in charge of the house. After the presentation got back on track from the dealing with the heckler, Lilith started with what she saw was the main part of the presentation. She knew that the stats she gave would soon regress into the ether of most of the audience member?s mind. Giving a better understanding of what constitutes appropriate, and inappropriate behavior, along with that inappropriate behavior was just bad to illegal would help them better understand the subject. Lilith started with catcalls. She pointed at The Villain, and asked him to join her. He tired to decline and Lilith brought up how he was so eager to be part of the presentation earlier, and now she was giving him a chance to. His brothers egged him on to go up. Then, Lilith asked Dillon to come up also. While those two stood beside her, Lilith explains that this was a little exercise to show men how uncomfortable their multiple unwanted advances can make a woman. She could feel that saying so, she was losing most of the brothers in the crowd, but most of the girls were behind her. She knew this was taking a chance, but if it worked, the true believer in treating people with respect and not like object, would have her entire audience as the choir she was preaching to. The exercise was simple; Dillon was going to make sexual suggestive comments to The Gord. Dillon knew to get more graphic after each one, until it made the victim of his saucy statements, uncomfortable enough. Dillon smiled and looked right at The Villain and said, ?Hey there sexy.? The Villain replied, ?Shut the fuck up dude!? The ladies in the crowd actually started to boo. Lilith thought she lost her entire audience. She cursed herself for making yet another wrong decision. Then, she heard one of the ladies jeer, ?Come The Villain, if a lady responded like that in public, everyone would think she was bitch.? Another voice yelled out, ?Yeah, that was a complement and I bet you said that many times to a woman.? The man who was getting treated how he treated women got defensive. ?But, I am not interested in him.? Another voice from the peanut gallery said, ?Yes, just like most women are not interested in a total stranger when they say that. Quit being a snowflake.? Hoghead could not resist razzing his friend yelled out, ?Yeah, you are a snowflake.? The room laughed. The Villain did not like the people laughing at him, ?This is different, quit it!? Lilith also did not like the room laughing. The man did overreact, but she knew he felt very uncomfortable by getting hit on. ?This is not different, but The Villain is right, quit laughing. He was made to feel very uncomfortable and wanted to situation to stop. Now guys, think of this should a woman be made to go to the extreme, which the man who was kind enough to help me did to stop repeated unwanted advances.? The laughter in the audience stopped. Just seeing a man being that uncomfortable by a statement, which most of them saw as being a complement, made them start to rethink about how the statements they made towards women. The man, who was saved by Lilith, could not leave well enough alone. ?It was different. I do not want to be with men and was hit on by a man. I am not gay.? Dillon quickly said, ?Trust me, I was not hitting on you. You are the type of man who makes a gay man straight.? He was not going to let anyone try to make being gay sound wrong, so he went on the attack. The Villain blurted out the first thing which came to his mind. The snide comment Dillon made was not in his nature, so he felt as bad as Leroy Brown. The man who knew that two wrongs did not make a right said, ?The Villain I?m sorry; I know a lot of guys would find you to their liking.? ?Well, I would never find any man to my liking.? Before people watching the presentation could interject again, Lilith made sure she had control. First, she motion for her two assistants to get off the stage and thanked them for the help then she said. ?The Villain never finding a man to his liking is exactly why it is the same. A stranger just making a comment which seems to be innocent, can turn a woman off from him for a long time, even forever. Just because a woman wants to be with a man, does not mean she wants to be with any man. A guy treating a woman like an object makes it so the woman would never find that man to her liking. The same holds true for men ladies. One of the points of this little exercise is to show how uncomfortable a man can make a woman feel by pushing too far hitting on her. It was to show when someone ask you to stop flirting with them, do it. That is where pushing too far goes from just being creepy to sexual harassment. Another point, which I cannot get to, is for the ladies. Do not let the flirting escalate to the point where you feel threaten like The Villain did. Be clear, but polite when you say ?no?. If the man or woman does not take ?no? for the answer, get away from them. Sorry the same goes for the men, if the woman or man does not take ?no? get away from her. I will be saying this many times tonight, the biggest way to stop sexual harassment and assaults is to treat people how you would want your little brother or sister to be treated by others. Treat people with respect, and trust me, a lady who is wearing a short skirts knows she has great legs, so don?t tell them that. A guy who has a six pack knows that also, so don?t tell him that. Thank you Dillon and The Villain for helping out. Everyone give it up for those two.? Lilith then asked for a couple to volunteer. Cara and Sarah both put up their hands and shouted pick us. Then, they turned around to look at each other and giggled. The girls stayed true to the couple?s name they were given. They came to the front of the room to join Lilith. ?Before I start, I would like to thank my friends, Cara and James for helping out. Non-verbal signs is over half of the way we communicate with each other. This can lead to people having their signals crossed. If people are better at reading them, it would lead to less confusion between us. Now, the two people who are helping are going to just kiss each other.? Cara and Sarah gave each other a little kiss. ?See how they both went into the kiss and there was no hesitation. Those two wanted to kiss each other. There was no need for either of them to ask each other, for their actions show approval. Now, I am going to say a non verbal sign which people use to show they do not want to kiss the other and these two will demonstrate it. Then, Lilith started to list off the signs and Sarah and Cara took turns being the one denying the kiss. Turned head to offer a cheek, lips squeezed, little peck, pull head back, pushed away and finally pushing away while saying ?no?. Lilith was so happy when she saw the volunteers took turns being the one not interested in kissing. It would allow her to make the point that ladies can also be the aggressor which oversteps the bound. Then, Lilith explained that the only real way to stop an unwanted advance was by saying ?no?. Also, ?no? means ?no?, so respect it if someone says it, and do not use that word if you do not mean it. Finally, it is about treating others how you would want your sister or brother to be treated by a love interest. After that, Lilith talked about consent and how it could not be given if a person was too drunk or unconscious. That everyone should be smart, and not get too drunk, but if they did, do it around friends. Also, if someone sees a stranger too drunk, keep an eye on them for their safety. Lastly, if you think that someone is too drunk to drive, then they are too drunk to have sex. If in doubt, just don?t have sex. Lilith then finished the talk by giving a quick summation. She stressed treating people like you want your little brother or sister to be treated. Then, also made the point, treating people like your younger sibling is also looking out for them. Finally, instead of thinking of what not to do, instead, think of what to do. *********** Lilith was satisfied with the response from the talk she gave. She could tell how defensive The Villain got, got the attention of the men in the crowd. She also liked him feeling small up there. She knew it was bad but with how Dillon picked him and Ben was more than happy to point him out, she knew he needed to be taught a little humility. The Villain saw the night differently. It hurt his chance of becoming the next president of the frat. It would be hard to get people to vote for someone who cannot show grace under pressure. He was made to look weak and foolish and hated it. He knew that he had to do something to gain status back in the frat. Instead of sticking around and drinking free beer, he got Hoghead and Clueless Johnny to join him into going to the Lion?s Den. It would be best for him not to be seen so people would not talk about what just occurred. While Lilith was talking to people about the presentation, BNB found James. He wanted to hear all about last weekend. The frat president was not strong enough to put a dress on, but he could still live vicariously through others. ?Hey there, James and Cara, it is ace that you two finally got together.? The giggle twins once again held true to their name when hearing that, and thanked the well wisher. Those two did not know that their path to a relationship was watched like an soap opera. ?I also want to give my apologies for how some of my brothers acted when they found out about your project. I think it took a lot of strength on your part to do so.? Before Sarah could give a response, Lexie came and took Cara to have a beer with her. BNB felt lady luck was shining on him for James would be more open to talk about dressing without his women there to judge him. With thinking of the past weekend, James went more to the background and Sarah did not act as much as she thought a man would. ?It is fine Ben.? BNB read Sarah using his given name as a sign she was mad about it. ?Please call me BNB.? Sarah caught the slip up she made. ?It is just we have not seen each other since you became President and did not think you still went by that. I heard Lilith call you, Ben, so I just followed suit.? ?Yeah, it just does not seem right,somehow, for Lilly to call me BNB.? Sarah face lit up like a stop light as she said, ?Don?t call her that, she hates being called Lilly.? That nugget of information made BNB?s more than the story he was about to hear. He could tell Lilith actually liked him calling her Lilly. It has to mean she likes him. ?Thanks for the heads up. Anyway tell me how different last weekend was for you.? ?BNB, it was no different. I was just a man in a dress. One cannot become a woman by just putting on clothes.? ?I know that but you had to feel different.? Sarah, ?Yeah, foolish for thinking what I was doing would make me know what it is like to be a woman.? ?I think you are selling yourself short. People treating you differently have to make you act differently. Come on, it had to feel different when a man held the door open for you.? ?Men do that for men all the time.? ?Yes, but how they do so is different when it is a woman compare to for a man.? Sarah knew exactly what BNB meant. For a man, another man will not let them enter the building first like they did for a woman. ?That is true but it still was not big deal.? ?Yeah but it is the little things in life. Just like how Lilith connected with the men in the group by having The Villain be the one uncomfortable with the flirting.? ?Yeah, it wa