Panther Girl of Gor an alternative ending by Archer
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Better Than The Alternative : Chapter 11 free porn video
Chapter 11
When I regained consciousness, I was almost blinded by the bright light
that was in the room. I quickly shut my eyes and groaned, my entire body
felt as if I'd been run over by a truck. I tried to open my eyes again,
this time much more slowly. As everything slowly came into focus I
recognized the room I was in as a hospital room, I've been in enough to
know. I also realized that I was hooked up to monitors with an IV, I
immediately started wondering how badly I had screwed up. Looking around
I saw my Mom sitting in a chair besides my bed. She had her head resting
in her hand with her eyes closed and appeared to be taking a nap. With
the light in the room and not being able to see out a window I had no
idea what time, or even what day it was. I tried to sit up some so I
could look around better and groaned again much louder.
Mom immediately sat up. "Jordan... How do you feel?"
"I'm really sore, it's like every single muscle hurts..." I told her.
Then I apologized. "Mom, I'm sorry... I didn't think that this would
happen... I just thought it might help..."
"Help? Help what? How could you have thought this would help anything?
You know what that medication did to you." she accused.
I muttered, "I just... I don't know Mom... After everything that had
happened... Sam texted me and I had agreed to talk with her on
Saturday... I was just so messed up... It had never made me this sick
before. I thought it would just help me clear my head enough to talk
without breaking down again..."
She sighed. "Jordan... From what your doctor told me, before the
operation your body had built up a resistance to the protein
malfunction... Since then though... You had no resistances built up
anymore so it...."
I sighed in understanding. "So it hit me like a Mac truck..." She nodded.
I then added, "Wish they didn't pull back and forth so many times." I
chuckled softly, only because it hurt to do so.
Mom shook her head at me and said, "How can you joke right now?"
I softly shrugged my shoulders, even that caused me to wince a bit. I
told her, "What else can I do Mom? I was stupid I know that... Now..."
About that time a nurse came in to check on me, after I told her how sore
I was she injected something into my IV to help me relax. I fell back
asleep a few minutes later.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~o~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The next time I woke up the lights didn't hurt my eyes near as badly as
earlier. The room appeared a bit darker now, and I realized it must have
been evening, due to hardly any light coming in through the windows
behind me. I didn't see my parents when I glanced around the room, but I
did see a slightly familiar face sitting in the chair reading out of a
notebook. I started to try to sit up, and while I wasn't as sore as
earlier, it still caused me to groan slightly.
My new gender therapist looked up and asked, "Hey Jordan, how are you
feeling?"
I sighed, I knew I would be asked this constantly for the foreseeable
future, but I was already getting tired of hearing it. I told him, "I
guess I'm doing okay... I'm just sore..."
He leaned over and helped me sit up and place a pillow behind me instead
of operating the bed's machinery. He told me, "You know that you worried
a lot of people."
I nodded. "I know... I wasn't trying to... I just thought that it would
help get get a handle on things..."
He nodded. "I've already talked to your parents... Your Mom told me what
you had told her this morning... I understand why you did it... You
realize though that it was pretty foolish, don't you?"
I snorted. "Yeah... Well waking up in the hospital sort of pointed that
out to me..." He laughed hard. I realized what I said and apologized.
"Sorry... Sometimes I'm kind of an ass..."
He chuckled. "Dr. Byrnes put down that you were a smart ass in his notes.
I can see why he did now. That's perfectly okay with me. Some might
disagree, but I've always thought a high level of sarcasm is a good
marker for mental stability. Having a sense of humor is actually healthy
Jordan."
I rolled my eyes. "I should be the poster child for mental health
then..."
He laughed again. "Let's not get ahead of ourselves Jordan. It's just one
of the many markers I look for. You've got a lot on your plate, without a
doubt, but I know you can get through this."
I nodded, and said softly, "I know... It's just so damn hard..."
He told me gently, "I know it is... You've got a lot of people here for
you that want to help. Not only your friends and family, but also every
single person in the group are here for you. I hope you come back, they
can help."
I softly told him, "I know I have a lot of support... It's just that... I
feel like nobody understands what I'm going through... When people tell
me that 'I can get through this', inside I'm like how the eff do you
know? They don't know what I'm going through... It all seems so fake to
me..."
He started, "Jordan... That's why the group would be good for you. They
can understand what you're going through... Especially if you're there to
explain it to them..."
I blurt out, "But they all want to be girls... Like Ella, I think her
name was, they would all love for this to happen to them... How can they
understand..."
He shook his head. "I know that Jordan...They understand the battle with
their gender though. You don't want to be a girl... Would it matter to
you if I told you that I understood?"
I looked at him quizzically and said, "Well you're supposed to sort of
understand right? That's what they teach you in college right?"
He shook his head. "No they didn't teach me this in college... Well maybe
they tried to teach us to be empathetic, but... You know what? While I
usually do this on a first session, and since we've yet to have a real
session... I think introductions are in order."
I mutter, "But we've already met?"
He laughed softly. "Just humor me Jordan."
Still looking at him strangely and trying to figure out what he's up to,
I stick my hand out and say, "Okay... I'm Christopher Jordan Taylor...
The third..." Yeah... I hated my first name... Well maybe not hated, but
both my Dad and Granddad were 'Chris'. So, I went with Jordan as soon as
they let me decide. Tradition just wasn't really my thing.
He raised his eyebrows at hearing 'The Third', but he shook my hand
anyway and stated, "Jordan, it's really nice to meet you. I'm Tabitha
Anne Rodrick... Or at least that's what my parents named me."
I was stunned. I looked at Tim and realized a few things that I hadn't
paid much attention to. I realized he wasn't as big as most guys, of
course he was still huge compared to me. He had large eyes with long
eyelashes, but most of his facial features were hidden behind an almost
full beard.
I stammer, "Wait... You're..."
He nodded. "Yeah, I'm transgender too... I don't usually spread that
around. It's hard enough being the only gender therapist in this town,
while people generally are pretty decent here... There's enough that
already want to run my practice out of here... I always disclose that to
my patients on our first session though. I want them to know I
understand, and not just as book knowledge." He paused to let that sink
in, then he continued. "Jordan... I transitioned when I was working on my
doctorate. I always knew from a young age that being Tabitha was wrong
for me. I know what it's like watching your body develop as female, when
that's the last thing you want... While I know that you have limited
options with what you can do... I want you to know I do understand most
of what you're dealing with... I want to help you, you just have to let
me."
I was stunned, I softly asked, "Is that why you became a gender
therapist?"
He nodded. "Yes, it is. Even though I only transitioned ten years ago,
finding a therapist that dealt with this was difficult... I wanted to
give back in a way to the community. Ultimately though, I simply wanted
to help people. People that are struggling with a gender identity
problem, people like you Jordan."
I slowly nodded. "Okay..."
He asked, "Okay? To what? Will you let me help you?"
I said, "Yeah... I'd like to try at least..."
He smiled. "Well that's good enough for right now... I'm going to get out
of here... I understand that you've got your parents here and it's late.
So, I'm going to head out to let your next visitor in. I'll reschedule
our next appointment to be sooner if that's okay with you."
I nodded. "That's okay with me... Thanks Doc... Err I mean Tim..."
He laughed as he was getting up to leave. "That's okay Jordan. Either
works, but I'd prefer if you just call me Tim. I've found that having a
good friend is better than just a therapist... Friends call each other by
their name and not title."
I laughed. "Well wouldn't that make you both?"
He turned to face me right before he stepped out of the room. "That's
what I'm aiming for Jordan. See you in a few days."
I sat back in the bed for a moment, just letting all that information
sink in. I knew what I did was stupid... Well I knew it now, you know
that old saying about hindsight being 20/20 and all... I also realized
how it probably looked to everyone around me, even with me trying to
explain that I seriously wasn't trying to hurt myself. That's what they
all probably thought. That's why Tim was here, and the look on my
parent's face. I knew I had to start making progress with... well me... I
realized that I liked Tim... I didn't really dislike my old therapist,
but he was always so clinical with me... Tim was different... I liked
different.
I also tried to get out of bed, the nurses had removed my IV and stuff,
and I desperately didn't want to use the bedpan. I struggled for a minute
to get up, and while I felt weak, I was nowhere near as weak as I used to
be. Maybe I should have pressed the pager to have someone help me to the
bathroom, but as you've all guessed. My ass is incredibly stubborn, if
you hadn't figured that out by now.
It had taken me several minutes to get my business done, I had to hold on
to the wall and furniture to help me not to fall. Once I was finished and
had washed my hands, I started making my way back to the bed. As I
stepped out of the bathroom the face I saw waiting on me almost made me
fall. She was quick though and hopped up to help support me.
"What the hell do you think you're doing?" Sam asked me as she helped me
to the bed. I wanted to be mad at her. To be mad about her storming away
from me in the stairwell, for her holding on to Brett's hand at the
group... I wanted to be mad, but I couldn't. All I knew was I felt so
relieved to see her, and how good it felt for her arm to be around me.
She even smelled so good, but not in that girly fruity lotion type of
smell... She just smelled like Sam. It made my heart race.
As she helped me into a sitting position on the bed I told her, "I was
just wanting to use the bathroom... I'm sorry..."
She scolded me, "You don't have to do everything by yourself Jordan...
It's okay to ask for help, you stubborn ass."
I sighed. "I know..."
Then her face softened, and I could see the concern clearly when she
asked, "So are you going to be okay? I mean from this at least?"
I told her, "Yeah I think so... They don't think I did any permanent
damage or anything, so just a setback to my overall recovery... I'll be
sore and tired for a few days is all..."
She nodded. "I'm really glad you're going to be okay... I'm still mad at
you though..."
I sigh. "I don't blame you Sam... I'm sorry I couldn't tell you the
truth... I was just so scared... I tried to though..."
She shook her head. "That's not what I'm mad at Jordan... I understand
that now... I'm mad at you because you promised..." She started to tear
up and her voice started to crack. I looked at her confused, and she took
a deep breath and said, "The relay races in the nursing home... You
promised to be there... I thought you were breaking that promise when
your Mom told me you were in the hospital this morning..." I saw her face
as the first tear streaked down her cheek.
I tried to reassure her, "Sam I wasn't trying to break that promise... I
swear... My emotions they've just been... Overwhelming... I thought it
would help me get a bit of control of them when we talked... I'm
sorry..." I felt the emotions well up within me in the moment. I guess
Sam noticed it when she leaned over and grabbed me in a tight hug. While
it hurt slightly with my muscles being as sore as they were, it felt much
better to have her hug me. I could deal with my muscle ache.
She whispered in my ear, "Jordan... The last couple of days, especially
today I realized something... I don't want you in my life... I need
you... I need my best friend Jordan..."
I nodded and whimpered in her grasp, "I need my best friend too Sam..."
We sat there and hugged for a long time as we both softly wept in each
other's arms. When we separated she told me, "I'm not mad at you anymore
okay? But if you try something stupid like this again, I'll kick your
ass. Do you understand me?" She then let out a watery giggle.
I laughed softly and told her, "Deal... So best friends still?"
She nodded and said, "Of course... Even though I needed some time to
think... You didn't stop being my best friend... I promise..."
I nodded, then asked her, "So now that you know everything... Do you
regret kissing me in the stairwell?"
She looked confused and told me, "No... Why would you think I regretted
that?"
I looked down at my hands and told her, "I remember you telling me that
you were into guys... Now that you know... I won't be a guy much
longer... Or if I'm even a guy now..."
Realization struck on her face, she told me, "Jordan I said I thought I
was maybe into guys... If he was the right one... I was talking about
you... I honestly thought that you wouldn't be into me..."
Confused I asked her, "Why? I told you that I was into girls..."
It was her turn to look down at her hands in her lap. "But I'm not a
girl... I'm a trans-girl..."
I scold her, "Shut up! Sam you're a girl..."
She tried to argue. "But I am, I'm..."
I interrupt, "Answer this honestly... Are you a girl? Or are you a boy?"
Sam mutters, "But I still have a..."
"Stop it Sam," I tell her. "Boy or a girl?"
She looks up at me and softly says, "A girl..."
I smiled at her. "That's what I thought... It doesn't matter to me if
your trans... I don't even think of you as my best trans friend... Your
just my best friend, who happens to be a girl you know?"
She smiles softly and asks, "Really? I just thought that... You'd want to
be with like a real girl..."
I scold again, "Stop it Sam... If you didn't notice, I kissed you back
didn't I?
She blushed and said, "I thought I had imagined that part... When we were
kissing... When I touched your... Did you? You know? I felt you start
shaking..."
That caused me to blush as I told her, "I don't know what happened... My
entire body was tingling and then... I honestly don't know what
happened..."
We sat there for a few moments in silence, her just sitting beside me on
the bed and holding hands. Finally, she said, "So this entire time you
thought I wouldn't be interested in you because you're changing, and I
thought you wouldn't want to be with me because I'm trans..."
I let that sink in for a moment, all the thoughts we each had had. Simply
because we kept beating around the bush and not saying exactly what we
had meant. With how I had been so afraid to totally open up with Sam, and
in a way, she was doing the same. I finally joked, "Aren't we a pair..."
She softly giggled, then after a moment she softly told me, "I'd still
like us to be..." She then stared directly at me while softly biting her
lip waiting for my response.
I asked, "Really?" She just nodded, still biting her lip, which caused my
insides to flutter. "It doesn't bother you that my body is changing? I
mean I still haven't decided what I'm going to do..."
She gave my hand a squeeze. "Jordan... No, it doesn't matter to me... No
matter what you decide to do, you'll still be my best friend right?" I
simply nod, afraid of saying anything to ruin the moment. She continues.
"It doesn't matter if you decide to have your breasts removed or keep
them and just be a guy with boobs. I don't even care if you decide that
being a girl is the way to go... Jordan I like you okay... Doesn't matter
what your body does or doesn't do."
I nod and softly say, "Okay..." I felt the tears forming, but I didn't do
anything to stop them. I just sat there staring into Sam's brown eyes,
enjoying that small moment with her. I didn't mind that I felt that I was
crying, because I wasn't upset. I might have had several different
emotions running through me, but mostly I was relieved and happy that she
was sitting here with me.
She softly wiped the tears off my cheek and asked, "Hey what's wrong?"
I shook my head and told her, "Nothing... These are good tears, at least
that's what they feel like." I gently put my hand over her hand that was
still caressing my cheek.
She smiled at me and then slowly leaned towards me slightly, then paused
for a moment staring into my eyes. I softly nodded to her and she leaned
further in until our lips touched. I gently moved my hand from her hand
and slowly moved it to her cheek, and we both sat there kissing for
several long moments until I heard someone clear her throat.
Sam and I both quickly sat up and turned to look at the person at the
door as Mom smiled and said, "I see that you two have made up."
I felt my face turn crimson at being caught kissing Sam, and not because
she was trans. Looking at Sam I saw her face was bright red as well. I
told Mom, "Yeah we have..."
Mom smirked at our embarrassment and told us, "Well I was just coming to
check on you two, and to tell Sam that her mom said she could ride home
with me once visiting hours are over."
Sam looked up at my Mom and said, "Thanks Mrs. T. I'm umm sorry you
caught us... Umm..."
Mom actually giggled at Sam, she teased, "Sam honey... I don't mind...
Isn't that what boyfriend and girlfriends normally do?"
Both of our faces blushed an even deeper shade of red to Mom's amusement,
she softly laughed and told us, "I'll go back in the waiting room and let
you two have some more time. Sam we've got just under an hour until
visiting hours are over by the way."
Sam told her, "Thanks Mrs. T. Don't you want to visit Jordan though? I
can wait in the visiting room."
Mom smiled and told her, "No sweetie, I think you two need the time right
now. I'll come up and get you when its time." With that she was back out
the door.
Sam exclaimed, "Oh... my... God..."
I laughed. "My sentiments exactly..." We both then broke into giggles. I
then noticed how tired Sam looked, I think told her so. "You look wiped
out... How long have you been here?"
She shook her head. "I'm okay Jordan... I've been here since this
morning... When I texted you this morning to see if we could talk as soon
as practice was over, your mom sent me a text telling me you were
admitted last night... I got my Mom to drop me off right after..."
I apologized. "God I'm sorry... I didn't mean for you to miss
practice..."
Sam told me, "Don't... It's okay... The girls understood, and they were
concerned too. So, I've been answering texts most of the day... You've
basically got the entire softball team as friends now, you know that,
right?"
I nodded. "Shelly talked to me a bit after that one practice... She said
that she would love to be friends with me..."
Sam scooted a bit closer to me and said, "Jordan... They're all impressed
with you..." She then looked closer at me and softly told me, "You said I
looked tired... You should see yourself. You look exhausted..."
I shrugged my shoulders, and told her, "I'm okay... I'm kinda used to be
worn out..."
She gave me a concerned look and told me, "Why don't you lie down and get
some rest okay? You need to get stronger, so you can get out of here."
I looked down at my hands in my lap and said, "I don't want you to leave
Sam... I can stay awake till visiting hours are over. It'll be okay."
She shook her head. "Don't argue... Why don't we compromise... Why don't
you lie down, and I'll stay until you fall asleep?" I nodded, she then
said," Well then lie down and scoot over." She then proceeded to kick her
shoes off.
Confused I asked, "What are you doing?"
She giggled and said, "I'm not stripping, you dork, now scoot over. I'm
staying on top of the covers."
I slid over and laid on my left side, she then lied down next to me on
top of the covers. I asked, "Like this?"
She smiled, and gently put her hand on top of mine. "Yeah, is this okay?"
I just nodded back smiling.
We stayed like that and talked for probably the next half hour,
occasionally sharing a light kiss, both of us were slowly nodding off. As
I was staring at her, and watching her eyes start drooping, I remembered
something important. Even with everything that had happened I couldn't
believe I had forgotten this. I asked, "Sam... You said you weren't into
guys? Right?"
She nodded and softly muttered, "Umm humm, Yeah... Not into guys... Just
you..."
I asked, "Umm... Last night... What were you doing with Brett at the
group? I saw you holding his hand."
She said, with her eyes still closed, "Yeah... It was the first time he'd
ever been... He was nervous."
Confused, I asked, "So you invited him to come?"
She giggled softly. "No silly... Last night wasn't a 'Loved one's'
meeting... Brett was invited by Tim." She then fell asleep, or at least
her breathing drifted off into a slow and steady rhythm.
I muttered, "Oh..." I was still stunned with that revelation as I felt
myself start to drift off as well.
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