Author's notes: this is edited and extended (about +20%) version of
previously published story.
Liza F
Fallout: Siberia.
If only it were summer! The thought often comes to me. If it was summer
or spring, we might have a chance. But now there seems to be no way we
will be able to survive the winter. It is only the beginning of
December, but it was already terribly cold. I reach with my hand trying
to rearrange rags and clothes, trying to put as much as possible on top
of me, trying to get warmer.
When I choose this house, I thought it is in good shape, and I will be
able to start the fire in the stove, and it will be warm inside. I
thought that maybe I will be able to make hot water and will eat
something before going to sleep. The house was in good shape indeed,
and there was a real treasure - a closed jar full of sugar, but I
wasn't able to start the fire in the stove, the smoke is getting back
into the house, something clogged the stove's pipe. Maybe I can find
another home nearby, but I don't dare to go outside now. People
disappear, and I don't want to be one of them. No walking outside after
sunset.
I lie on the old bed feeling the weight of all the rags and old
clothes, I was able to find in the house, rest on top of me. I'm
getting slightly warmer, maybe I will manage to fall asleep. The
happening of the last few weeks come to my mind.
I remember feeling depressed in the autumn. My girlfriend breaks up
with me. We've been together for more than two years, we've been
talking about getting married, but then I lost my job, and it was
difficult for me to find a new one. The money got tight, and I
discovered that my girlfriend's feelings for me are in direct
correlation with the amount of money I have.
I've been invited for a job interview to Krasnoyarsk and, thanks to
this invitation, I was on a train moving from Novosibirsk to
Krasnoyarsk when the end of the world come.
The train was full of foreigners. Apparently, it is an attraction to
try the famous Trans-Siberian route. A few families from the US and
Europe were chatting, taking pictures, trying to connect to the
Internet, going to the buffet and generally seem to be enjoying the
adventure. It all annoyed me, their cheerfulness, they constant
chatting. I was planning to get some sleep to be fresh for tomorrow's
appointment, but the foreigners distracted me.
I walked out of my compartment and stood in the passage watching the
foreigners. A group of them walked the passage, probably returning from
the buffet. I locked eyes with a young woman with long dark hair, and
she smiled at me. I smiled back.
"Where are you from?" I asked the women when she comes close to me.
"Austin, Texas," she said smiling.
"It is quite a trip to get there from Texas."
We chit-chatted for a while before she excused herself and went to her
compartment. I stood there for another minute or so, looking out at the
window when someone stopped alongside me. I turned to see a tall guy
standing there, showing a disdainful smile to me.
"Linda is my sister," said the guy looking me in the eyes. "A free
advice for you, Ivan, stay away from my sister."
"My name is not Ivan," I said surprised.
The guy stepped closer to me before saying "I don't care, Ivan, just
stay away from my sister," He winked at me and walked away.
It was clear the guy was trying to protect his sister, but I still felt
bad from being treated this way.
I came back to my place around midnight and was drifting off to sleep,
listening to the wheels of the train making rhythmic noise when the
locomotive started to whistle. There is nothing out of the ordinary
when an engine gave a whistle. But this whistle sounded strange. It was
a long whistle, and then two short whistles followed. Then again, a
long whistle and then two shorts. The locomotive continued to make
noises, slowly waking up all passengers.
A few minutes later light of the car was switched on. The light
flickered. People start to ask questions, quietly at first and then
louder and louder. The whistles continued. Doors of the compartment
opened, people walked out to ask our conductor.
I put my clothes on and walked outside my compartment.
Our conductor, a short gross woman, was trying to calm down people.
"I don't know what it is! Get back into your compartments and wait for
our driver to make an announcement," She exclaimed nervously.
I waited when others walked away before approaching her.
"Excuse me," I said stepping closer to her "but you certainly know what
this signal means. I mean these whistles, they mean something, right?"
She looked back at me with fear in her eyes. "That means we are
fucked." She turned away without saying anything else.
The train continued for some time before slowing down and stopping at a
small railway platform, still making the whistles.
The car's door where open and people start to walk outside. It was a
starry late October's night, and it was cold outside. People were
standing on the platform, smoking, and talking. "The locomotive is
probably broken, that's why he makes these whistles," I hear someone
said.
Suddenly there was a bright flash and then another one in the direction
our train was heading. The whistles stopped, people stopped talking.
Silence comes to the platform, and only dogs in the nearby village
started to howl.
Morning comes, and the train was still standing on the platform, and
yet there was no explanation. But it was clear that something horrible
happened. There was no network coverage; an old man with portable radio
was complaining that he can't find any radio signal.
While I was hanging around, waiting for something to happen, I noticed
that the foreigners from my car were up to something. One muscular bald
man was acting like he knows what he is doing. His family and others
foreigners were standing around him listening, and I stepped closer.
"This village is too close to the road, it is not safe. We need to find
a place away from the main routes. And we need to get supply and a
radio. I need your cash, and I need your smartphones, believe me, you
don't need them anymore. You, Jeffrey." The man turned to the guy who
was calling me Ivan yesterday. "I need you to run through the train and
invite our people to join us. Say that it is not safe to stay on the
train."
Quickly the foreigners collected together all the cash and smartphones
and started to trade it for food in the village and the train's buffet.
They got blankets and some other suppliers from the train and packed it
all together.
Few other families joined the group, and they started to walk off the
platform. The bald man was checking a GPS device before choosing the
way they go. An old man, who was complaining about not finding any
radio stations before, was standing by my side.
"Some weirdos these foreigners! Giving me a nice phone in exchange for
my old radio! And they are walking away on foot! Fools."
The bald man and his quick, decisive actions looked anything but stupid
for me. I took a glance at the old man still laughing and run away to
follow the group.
"Where you think you are going?" The tall guy, Jeffrey, faced me as
soon as I caught up with the group.
"I decided to join your group."
"You better go back or ..."
"Or what?" I asked and stepped to face the guy. He was taller than me,
but I was sure I can handle him.
"Jeffrey!" I hear Linda's voice.
"What is going on?" asked the bald leader of the group.
"Sir, I like to join your group, and I think you need me."
"Why would we need you?"
A single pistol shot sounded. A woman started to cry. Everybody turned
heads toward the train's locomotive.
"Judging by what the woman is shouting, the train's driver just shot
himself," I said to the bald man. "You see, I speak the language. And I
overhead that you are looking for a safe place away from the main
roads, I think I know how to find it."
The man handed me his GPS device. "Show we where it is."
I scrolled the map, checking the roads and the names of the villages,
before choosing one of them and giving the device back to the man.
"This place, Sir. This is going to be very quiet."
The bald man looked at the point on the map, looked at my eyes, nodded
slowly. I was given two blankets with something heavy wrapped inside,
and we started to walk. It wasn't comfortable to carry two of them, but
I didn't complain.
"Why you decided to join us?"
"Sir, you seem to know something, I thought I better stick with you."
"Call me Noah."
"Do you know what happened, Si... I mean Noah."
"I don't, but somebody just nuked your Krasnoyarsk."
"What?! Who did it?" I stopped with an open mouth.
"Does it really matter?"
"Of co... I mean... Should me..." I tried to say something, too shocked
to finish my thought.
"We may never know who started it and why. It doesn't really matter
anymore."
I walked in silence, too shocked to talk before I managed to ask my
next question.
"Why we are walking away from the main roads? You know something?"
"All I know is that the hell just broke loose. There will be no help
and no supplies coming. People will start to understand it soon enough.
There are a few hundred people on this train, tomorrow they will start
to fight for food."
We were walking for an hour or so when I started to get tired. I
suspected that they gave me heavy blankets to better control my
movements. But it's not the only burden of the blankets that slowed me
down. My best suit, jacket, and shoes were good for a job interview and
not for a long walk in the countryside. I was also getting cold. In
spite of fast walking, I felt cold wind was getting under my clothes
taking away the warms of my body.
The further away from the railroad, we were getting, the less inhabited
the surrounding countryside was looking. The road we were walking was
still paved, but another hour passed and Noah, after checking his GPS
device, waved to everybody to turn to another path. The new route was
not paved and partly overgrown.
When finally, we stopped for a break, I dropped on the ground, my legs
in pain. Jeffrey gave me a smirk, but I don't react. I bet his sneakers
were much more comfortable to walk in. Bottled water and some snacks
were distributed evenly, and I got my share.
We walked for another three hours when Noah come to me.
"So, where is your place?" He showed his GPS device's screen. It was
looking like we reached our destination. I looked around and saw only a
field with overgrown, unkempt grass. Just a wreck of one abandoned
building suggested that there was a village in the past.
"Sir, I think we have to try another location."
Noah took my elbow and walked me a few steps away from the group.
"Explain yourself."
I swallowed. "You see, this part of south Siberia was densely populated
in the past. People from Russia not happy with Tsars were moving there.
Many of them were killed by Bolsheviks during the civil war. Locals
were too independent-minded for Moscow liking. All trades were
forbidden, and the villages started to die slowly. Young generation
moved to live in cities, but the old folk was staying behind and lived
there till 90's. Many of this villages are still in good shape and can
be a good place for us to stay for a while."
"How you find such a place?"
"Your map is fresh, it is still showing the names of the villages, but
you can see that many of them are without connecting roads."
We chose another village on the map and continued walking. It was
getting dark when we found it. This time there was a few houses still
standing, one big house in good shape. My legs were in pain, but there
was still a lot of walking: to help to bring all supply inside the
house; to find some wood for the oven; to search other houses in the
village.
It was dark outside, but the oven's door was open, and the burning wood
was lighting up the big room on the ground floor. There were plenty of
rooms in the house, but nobody was willing to walk away in the dark.
A young girl, not older than 12, started to complain. "Mommy, are we
going to live like this? I want to take a shower! And I want my iPhone
back!"
Her mother was trying to calm her, but her own voice was trembling.
Other people started to speak, complaining, crying. Most of them were
walking in silence, but now they weren't able to keep it anymore.
"How we get home?"
"Is there still home to get back?"
"What we are going to eat?"
"I think it was a mistake to walk away from the train. There was light,
and people and somebody were going to come to help!"
"Give me the radio, I want to listen to some news," Someone demanded.
Small portable radio was switched on filling the room with the sound of
static. The man tried to tun it but got only more static.
A short middle age man got up and said with a British accent. "I'm an
engineer, give me this radio, I know what to do."
He took the portable radio in his hands. "We are lucky, it has short
waves. But we need to make a decent antenna."
Noah's family come from the kitchen carrying a big pot with steam
coming out of it. "Hot chocolate anybody?" Noah's wife asked, and I saw
in the dim light that she was smiling. The Noah's family was doing
noticeably better than the rest of us. It was like they've expected
something like this to happen.
The hot chocolate and small sandwiches helped to change the mood.
People calmed down and stopped to complain.
The British man found a piece of wire with his flashlight and tried to
use it as an antenna. He switched on the radio and sound of static
filled the room again. He started to scan the waves, and suddenly a
male voice speaking Chinese rapidly come in.
"Anybody know Chinese?"
Nobody volunteered to translate, but it was easy to understand that the
man was nervous. "Beijing," "Shanghai," some of the words were easy to
understand.
The British man scanned the waves again, few more station was found,
but the quality of the signal was so low it was impossible to tell what
language they are speaking. One station had a powerful signal. The
announcer was speaking in Russian.
"Andrey, translate for us?" said Noah.
"The man is saying that all big cities were bombed, but there are small
cities that are doing ok. For our region, we are advised to move to
Abakan. He says there are food, electricity, and shelter for everybody.
It is sound strange!"
"Why strange?"
"He sounds like he is not native or was living abroad for too long. And
he also so calm, it is sound like it was recorded, not a live stream."
The British man tried to scan the waves again, searching for an
English-speaking radio but wasn't able to find anything. He switched
the radio off. "We need to save the battery. Tomorrow I will make a
proper antenna, and we will hear something."
*****
A loud buzzing sound interrupted my nap. Buzzing is getting louder. I
throw away all the rags I put on top of me and tiptoe to the window. It
is already dark outside, but bright moonlight is allowing me to see
through the frosted window.
The buzzing sound is coming from the river. Light comes from the same
direction, and a few seconds later three snowmobiles appeared moving on
high speed. I hold my breath, my eyes open wide, face stuck to the
window. Three snowmobiles with the lights on are driving high speed on
the river's ice. They come close to the house, and I can see that the
people are wearing identical clothes, each with a rifle behind.
They come alongside the window, and I can see one of the men is turning
his head in my direction. I step away from the window and press my back
to the wall. Today I was walking in this direction crossing the river,
and they can notice my footprint in the snow.
The buzzing sound starts to trail off in the distance, and I dare to
look again through the window. Nothing, they are gone. What if they
decide to return and check my house? Should I try to run away? But I
don't like the idea. If I do not find a house with a working stove, I
will get cold again for sure.
I lay on the bed again and put all the rags on top of me. Getting cold
is not fun anymore. I kind of liked to get slightly ill in my
childhood, not having to go to school and enjoy staying at home. But
now it was not fun at all. I learned it when we still stayed in our
first house.
When we walked away from the train my clothes didn't fit for being
outside for so long. The next morning, we waked up all in the same big
room, and I felt I got cold. A sore throat and sneezing all the time.
I got a tablet of aspirin that helped me to feel better, but by the
afternoon I felt that I'm getting the fever. Next couple of days I
spend in bed. I overheard Noah arguing with Jeffrey.
"... leave him some food and let him stay."
"No, he is one of us now. Emma said he should get better tomorrow. You
are staying with him, and then help him to find us. We will move to the
village south from here. If this village doesn't work, we will move to
the east."
Jeffrey stayed with me as his father said. He wasn't much of help thou
and was calling me lazy ass each time I was slowing down next day.
After a few tries, our group found a well-preserved village with good
houses. Some of the houses were untouched since they owners passed
away. All the things were still intact. There was even hunting gear
including a couple of double-barreled rifles and some ammunition.
The life started to feel better for a brief moment. Everybody was busy
with something. We were cleaning a well to get fresh water, chopping
the wood for stoves, cleaning the houses. Few of us, who was good with
it, started to hunt and fish. The rest helped in our village or was
searching other empty communities around us.
But the weather is getting colder every passing day. And we run out of
food we took with us. And we need a lot of things: medicine; salt,
spice, and oil to cook the fish and meat; clothes; All this thing you
tend to not think too much about when there are plenty of them. And
Noah said that we need weapons. People start to disappear. People like
me, who were searching the villages around us, trying to find
something, something that will help us to survive long Siberian winter.
*****
I wake up feeling bad. "Shit!" I say aloud and feel my sore throat.
"Shit!" I swear silently this time. I'm getting cold again. I have some
valuable finding and can go back right now, but we agreed with Jeffrey
for three days search, it will be wrong if I will return alone.
Noah ordered us to go together, but we split as soon as our village was
out of site. I was going South, and he was going South-East. And we
agreed to meet again before returning home.
I start walking hoping to find a suitable house with a working stove.
Would be good to see a working stove, start the fire and sit in front
of it with a hot drink in my hands. And maybe I will be able to find
some medicine.
The daydreaming about hot stove makes me miss the fact that I was
walking alongside someone's footprint. I freeze as soon as my mind
registered the fact. I grab my flare gun I found in recently. The
weight of the pistol is reassuring me. I put some birdshot inside of
the patron - it should be useful from a short distance.
"Son of a bitch!" I cry in anger next moment. The footprint belongs to
Jeffrey. He is going out of his way to prove me worthless. He agreed to
go South-East, and now it is obvious he made a detour to clean all the
houses in front of me to send me home emptyhanded.
"Son of a bitch, I will show you!" I cried again, the anger is making
we forget about the cold. What a jerk! A few days ago, I found an old-
style straight razor and started to shave again. And he decided that
I'm doing it to impress Linda. I do find Linda attractive and don't
mind getting close to her. And it is not his business!
I come to a small village, he obviously already checked everything. I
can see Jeffrey's footprints everywhere. "Hell!" I cry and start to
follow his footsteps leading me further south.
It was a mistake for me. The cold piercing wind got up, it makes me
feel even colder. The anger was helping me to keep going for some time,
but now I start to feel tired and feverish. "It is all his fall!" I say
to myself. If not for him, I would have stayed in one of the houses and
have a hot stove right in front of me.
It took me a few hours of walking to come to the next village. Smoke is
coming from one of the houses. "Son of a bitch, getting warm and cozy,"
I say to myself getting angry again. "I will show him!"
I came close to the house and tiptoed to the door. A big scarf is
covering my face. I open the door and run as quick as I can, keeping my
flare gun in front of me.
"Freeze motherfucker!" I cry. The plan is simple, he will not be able
to recognize my voice when I have such sore throat, and he will shit
his pants.
Jeffrey freeze and look at me.
"Give me your backpack!" I ordered him, and he tosses it to me it to
me.
My anger starts to subside. I feel tired, and the warms of the stove
are beckoning me. Should I take away the scarf or should I torture him
some more?
"Let me see what you've got," I turn to his backpack and open it.
Suddenly something hit my head hard making me fall backward, and I see
sparks in my eyes.
"Nice try dumb ass," I hear Jeffrey. "And thank you for the toy."
I focus my eyes and see my flare gun in his hands.
"It is mine! Give it back to me!"
"I think it is mine now. And don't even think about complaining to my
father. I will tell him you attacked me with it and he will kick you
out in no time."
I feel feverish and tired, but I also feel humiliated. It is like being
small again and abused by my older brother all over again. I stand up
slowly and make fists with my hands.
"It is mine! Give it back to me!"
"Or what?" He looks at me with a smirk.
Suddenly a sound comes outside. The buzzing sound I know and something
else, something louder. Forgetting about Jeffrey for a moment, I run to
the window. Three snowmobiles and a military rover are coming to the
house.
"We need to hide!" I cry and start to search for a place to hide. It is
impossible to outrun the snowmobile; the only chance is to hide.
Jeffrey opens a trapdoor leading to the cellar, and I follow him. We
close the trapdoor behind us. Jeffrey's lighter spark illuminating a
small basement. There a tiny compartment under the stairs and Jeffrey
is crawling to hide in it. I'm trying to follow him, but he pushes me
back with his leg.
"This place is taken!"
I hear heavy steps above me. The house is small, and soon they stopped
not able to find us. The trapdoor opens suddenly, and bright light of a
flashlight is blinding me.
"Show me your hands," someone is shouting, and I rise my hand
obediently. "Step up slowly!"
As soon as I come close to the opening, strong hands grab and lift me
the rest of the way. Four men with rifles wearing the same military-
style uniform. They make me sit on the floor with my hands pinned
behind my back and tied.
"Who are you? What you ..." I try to ask, but a hand slap me across my
face
"This one is ill."
One of the men come close to me and touch me with an extended tube-like
device.
"Just common cold," the tall man says. "And look at the reading, he is
as clean as he can be. Good find."
"Now, young men, we need to ask you a question, where is your friend?"
I shook my had, not willing to speak.
"We can do it the hard way, you know?" He seats beside me, a long knife
out. "Last chance to cooperate."
"He is gone! I was alone there," I say, my eyes fixed on the knife as
it is getting close to my face.
"No need for unnecessary violence," the man with a tube-like device
says. "Let's believe the man. Let's go."
Two of men grab me by my hands, makes me stand and pull me toward the
door.
"Wait." The same main with the device stopped everybody. "Let's burn
this house first, no more fugitives will be hiding there," He hides his
device, open a can and start purring gasoline on the floor.
I see as the puddle of the gasoline is growing on the floor, some of it
starts going to the cellar. "Wait! He is in the cellar." I cry seeing
the man taking out a lighter.
The men start to laugh. "This trick always works."
*****
The rover speeds up shaking people inside. My hands are getting numb
behind my back. But in spite of all the discomfort, I feel like I'm
drifting asleep. They gave me some pills to swallow and now my fever is
subsiding, but it also makes me feel sleepy.
Suddenly something hit my side. I open my eyes to see Jeffrey. His
hands are also tied behind his back, but he crawled to me and now was
kicking me with his legs.
"Why you have to tell them about me, dumb ass?"
"You jerk, I was saving you! They said they will burn the house!" I say
trying to kick him back.
"Hey, you two!" One of the military men turned to us. "Save your energy
for the labor camp."
The rover slower down and then stops completely. I hear shouts. A
single shot, then automatic fire. More shouts. Few minutes passed in
silence before the back of the rover's compartment is opened, and two
bearded men in civilian clothes are thrown inside. The hands are tied
behind they back. The faces showed that this two have been starving.
We stopped a few times more with more people being thrown inside,
including a woman with a small child.
I wake up because rover has stopped and one of the military men is
shouting at us to go out. It is dark outside, but bright artificial
light blinds me, and I stumble. Someone is pushing me with something
hard against my back.
"Move!"
I join the line of people standing in front of a checkpoint. There are
people from our rover, but also some others. I feel cold, and the
bright light is blinding me, but the line is moving fast. Everybody
passing through a device similar to an airport's scanner.
"Labor," I hear one military man shout after a bearded man from our
rover stepped out of the scan. The man is pushed to a separate line.
"Cows," and one of the women is pushed into another detection.
"Cows," another woman stepped out of the scanner.
"Where is my daughter? Where you took her?" The woman started to cry.
"Your daughter is fine, she is safe now. Move!" I see women struggle as
two guards are pulling her aside.
"Dirty!" I hear as one bearded man is dragged by military men back
toward the rover.
"Another one!" I hear them mutter when they drag him past me.
"Labor," I hear as a man in front of me stepped through the scanner.
I step into the scanner and hear a buzzing sound and then I'm gestured
to step out.
"Cows," I hear stepping out. I stopped in surprise, expecting to hear
"Labor," somebody shoving me toward the line with women.
I see Jeffrey is standing in this line also and, as much as I hate the
guy, it still feels good to know someone.
*****
"Ladies and Gentlemen! I congratulate you on making it to our facility!
You don't know how lucky you are. All your troubles are behind, you
will be feed, and you will be taken care of."
I'm shaking my head trying to get water from my left ear; first time in
my life I was washed with water coming from a hose.
"I understand that the disinfection procedure wasn't too pleasant and
our security arrangements may frighten some of you, but believe me,
this all for your own good."
The tall half-bald man in a white coat is smiling reassuringly, but I
feel that his smile is fake, for some reason I'm afraid of him. Our
identical robes and all this prison-like arrangement is getting to my
nerves.
"Why we are here?" I hear someone is asking.
The white coat man's smile gets bigger. "I can't tell you all the
details, but I can tell you that you are a part of something huge. In
fact, you all should be very proud of being a part of our ... program."
"Why they are calling us cows?"
"Cows?" The man is making a face like he is surprised. "Don't mind the
guards, they are just jealous of how lucky you are. Remember, they are
standing out there in the cold protecting you. But enough questions,
you are invited for dinner."
The hot tasty food in front of me makes me forget all the discomfort
and my worries. I plunge myself into the food; chomping, not able to
control myself. Only now I realize how hungry I am. Well, the man's
words about feeding were right. Maybe my gut feeling is not correct
about him?
But right after dinner we very allowed to 'rest area' and my intuition
starts to scream again that something is terribly wrong.
The area itself was nice and even cozy. A big TV screen is showing old
movies. Two big windows showed courtyard of the facility. But people!
People looked wrong. They all wearing identical robes that looked like
oversized pajamas. There were about fifty people, and all of them
seemed like they are extremely tired or sedated. Nobody was talking;
few of them were watching TV with an open mouth and others just stare
at the front of them.
I glance at Jeffrey considering to talk to him, but he showed no desire
even to look at me. And soon we've been all ushered to a long corridor
with doors, and I found myself alone closed in a tiny compartment that
looked like a prison cell.
I hate being locked, but the warms of this place, my fatigue, and my
stomach are full for the very first time in many weeks, all of this
makes me asleep as soon as I lay on the bunk bed.
*****
Morning comes, and the loudspeaker announcement waked me up. The door
is open, and the loud voice is said to go to the corridor and move to
the medical office for morning's procedure.
I joined the line of people standing in the corridor. The line is
moving fast, people coming inside the medical office and coming out
almost immediately, left sleeve of the robe is up.
I step inside the office, and one guy quickly rolled my left sleeve up
while another pressed a tube-like device and pressed the trigger. The
tube clicked, and I feel something like an insect bite.
"What it is all about?" I tried to ask.
"Go, your breakfast is getting cold," said the guy who rolled my sleeve
and pushed me to go.
The breakfast is good, and I enjoy the food, but something like a fog
come all over me halfway through. I manage to finish the meal in front
of me, but the rest of the day becomes a blur.
Next thing I distinctly remember was the rest area. An old black and
white movie on TV. Confused and sleepy faces of other people. I vague
aware being walked through long corridors. Some medical procedures,
more injection. But everything is in a fog like I was half asleep or
massively drunk all the day long.
I shake my hand trying to clean my head. People, I concentrate looking
around me. No woman, only men. I remember there was more woman than men
when we come here. That means we were separated. Only young men in our
group. Does it say something? Probably there something, but I feel too
sleepy and tired even to think about it. I fall asleep on my bunk bed.
*****
The door is open, and the loud-speaker announcement is saying to go for
the morning procedure, but I hesitate. How many days I was there? I
don't know. I feel strange, weak and tired all the time. And my chest
area is tender and itchy.
I look at my cell, it is small and darkly lit. The bright lite is
coming from the half-open door. There something on the wall right in
front of my pillow. Somebody was trying to write on the wall. There a
simple calendar - seven lines crossed symbolize a week. Someone was
there for four weeks. Something is written, but it is difficult to
read.
"... making cows ... us"
"Don't ... night ... solder is raping ..."
"...no way ... I will try to ... hope ... kill me"
I hear guards are starting to check cells for remaining people and come
out. I walk in the line terrified by my discovery, wondering what is
going on. The medical office is getting close. Without thinking I turn
my left sleeve up and with one motion I step aside and turn around
joining people coming out of the office.
I make a step, another one. I expect that the guards will start to
shout and will make me go back, but nothing happens.
We eat the breakfast, and I see as other people eyes become glazed. I
also start to look straight ahead, don't move too much and slightly
open my mouth.
They move us for others medical procedures. I was made to remove my
robe and was standing naked. The tall half-bald man, who welcomed all
of us to this facility, was there walking the line of naked people. I'm
trying to stare ahead with a slightly open mouth.
He stopped in front of me and touch my puffy chest.
"Nice progress there. We can move him to stage two within soon. X-ray
him, I need to know how his pelvis bones are developing."
The man is continued to move through the line making comments. Two
guards separate another few people, including Jeffrey and me, and walk
us away.
I see 'Stage II' on the door we are passing. I'm trying not to stare
too obvious, but I notice that there are only women walking in robes
similar to ours. Most of the women are big breasted, and they also
looked sedated.
"You know, Sergey. Sometimes I wish there will be an accident and the
light will be switched off, and I will be stuck there for an hour or
two," said one of the guards with a chuckle.
"Be careful what you wish for, not all of them are fully developed down
there, you know."
"Then I will be fucking they breasts, they are all fully developed
there!"
The guards laughed and continued pushing us through the corridors.
We come through the door with 'Stage III' sign, but nobody was moving
inside, the corridor was empty.
"Sergey, you want to see something?"
The second guard hesitated. "Are you sure?"
"Yes, I'm sure, there are no cameras at this corner."
The first guard come to the wall and lifted up the shade, relieving a
big window to a big hall with some long rows of women lying there on
gurneys. All of them with unrealistic huge breasts. Heads are shaved,
faces covered by plastic masks, tubes attached to the mask, nipples,
between the legs. Barcodes tattooed on the foreheads. One row of the
women looked like they are all pregnant.
"Creepy!" one guard whispered.
"That's why they stopped to call them he or she, they call them cows
when they move to this stage."
It was not difficult for me to play that I was sedated for the rest of
the day. I shocked by what I saw. My puffy chest, quickly growing hair,
everything started to make sense all of a sudden. I still don't
understand why they are doing it, but it is awful!
I start to think frantically about what to do. I need help, I need to
try to alert Jeffrey, but how to do it? After dinner, he still is too
sedated to think straight.
After the x-ray, we come to the half bald man office. Chief Physician
is written on the door.
Our small group is standing in his office, and he is discussing x-ray
results with another man in a white robe.
"As much as I like to speed it up, I think it will be too early to move
them to stage two," said the second man.
"You may be right, it may not work, but in this case, we will make a
step back and wait for the bodies to adjust to the stress before we
apply the final changes. What do you think?"
I moan and stand slightly forward making them look at me.
"I ... need ... toilet," I say and moan again.
"Let him go to the closest toilet before he messes my office!"
One of the guards is moving me out of the office and through what
looked like a research facility. As I expected, the toiled is adjoined
with a shower room and there a separate exit to a dressing room for the
staff.
"Do your business and not mess your robe!" The guard is pushing me
inside the toilet.
As soon as the door closed behind me, I run on my tiptoes to the
dressing room and start to search for an open locker. I kept and used
as a guinea pig in some research facility against my will; still, it
feels terrible to put my hand in someone else's pocket. I search
frantically for something, something that can help me.
A big walkie-talkie, I want to take it, but there is no way I will be
able to hide it under my robe. Keys, a wallet, none of this can help
me. Expensive looking pen - this will do.
"Hey, where are you?" I hear guards cry inside the toilet.
I hear him slamming the doors of each stall in the toilet and tiptoe
out of the dressing room and back to the shower. The guard is slamming
the last door and walking toward the shower room. A second before he
entered the shower room, I lift my robe and start to pee right in the
center of the room.
"You are stooped motherfucker!" I hear him cry and kick me in the ass.
"Stop and get out of here!"
After dinner, I visited the toilet in our corner of the building and
wrote a small letter to Jeffrey on toilet pepper. I wrote that they are
doing bad things to us and there a way to avoid being sedated. I
pressed the pepper in a small ball and hide it in my hand.
I come out and see Jeffrey seating in front of the TV with his mouth
wide open. I sat by his side pretending to watch the movie for some
time before slowly bending over and placing the letter inside Jeffrey's
sock. He gave me a puzzled look for a second before continuing to watch
the movie.
*****
Morning comes with the usual loudspeaker announcement. I check my body
and see two cones on my chest. Now I know what is going on, but I'm too
afraid to admit it, I just pull the robe back and trying not to think
about small female breasts on my chest.
Jeffrey is taking place right behind me in the line and when I step
aside and turn around to pretend that I already got my shot he is
repeating my move in a few seconds. Again, nobody noticed our move.
"Tell me what you know," he whispers while we eat the breakfast.
I told him what I saw the other day.
"What you are going to do?"
"I don't know. Let's keep our eyes open, there must be a way."
In the evening Jeffrey surprised me by whispering his detailed
observation to me.
"Cameras and motion sensors are everywhere in the living area and in
corridors leading to medical offices. But outside the secure area,
there are no cameras. If we find a way to pass two guards guarding the
exit, we may have a chance. And I saw through the windows, the outside
fence is guarded, but they are not checking outgoing vehicles. You said
the dressing room is close to the Chief Physician office, it is not too
far away from us. If we make it to the dressing room, we can find the
guards' uniform, dress up, go down to the courtyard, find a vehicle and
be out of here."
I look at Jeffrey with respect, not only he made very accurate
observations, he already comes with a plan.
This night the excitement of maybe having a chance to leave this place
makes me toss and turned not able to fall asleep.
Morning comes with annoying loudspeaker announcement. I come out
excited and slightly node to Jeffrey. This time he is the first to step
out of the line, and I follow him.
But as soon as we walk away from the line, three baton-wielding guards
wearing parkas stopped us.
"So, you are two smart asses?" one of them says. "Follow me."
I feel my heart sink. Just a second ago I was sure we are going to
escape this place and now ... I have no idea what they are going to do
with us now, but I feel helpless.
They walk us to the courtyard. Few weeks indoors makes me forget how
cold it can be outside. The severe cold of Siberian winter feels like
pure pain on unprotecting body. I start to shake, legs pressed
together, hands on my shoulders in a futile attempt to get warmer.
Few minutes passed, and I feel like I can't take it anymore. I moan and
start getting down, trying to hug my legs.
"Get up bitch!" barks one of the guards and I feel pain as he hit my
back with his baton. I'm trying to stand up again, but he beat me
again.
"Enough violence," I hear the Chief Physician saying coming close to
us. He is wearing a warm parka. "We should care about our ... hmm ...
livestock," He continued with a chuckle.
"So, you two decided to rebel? You know, when we noticed that someone
is skipping the morning shots, we didn't pay too much attention to it.
It can be a mistake. But when yesterday two people skipped the shots,
we decided to take actions."
He stepped forward and squeezed my chest painfully with his hand in the
thick glove before turning to Jeffrey and doing the same. And we just
shake with cold, it feels like hundreds of sharp needles are pressed
against my skin.
"You see, you wouldn't be able to survive out there. The frost would
kill you within one hour. And even If you would avoid dying of
hypothermia, then what? Joining the rest of the bastards starving to
death out there? We keep you warm, we feed you, be grateful."
"Take this two to stage two and make sure this two are getting they
shot first thing in the morning." He started to walk away, but then
stop and turn to look at us again. "You know what, double the dosage to
this two, I don't want them to make any more troubles."
*****
The days' flu by. And the only sure thing I can say about this days is
that I wake up in the morning and my mind still sedated. And as soon as
I wake up, medics are coming to my cell and shot me with a new dosage
of the sedative. The rest is just a blur.
The morning is the worst part of it. After sleeping all night, my mind
is getting clear enough to understand what is going on, but I can do
nothing against getting a new shot. I feel like crying but can't do
even this.
This morning is different. I vague aware that someone waked me up at
night; someone was touching my breasts, and I still feel pain in my
nipples.
The medic comes and starts to roll up my sleeve before stopping.
"Oleg, call the guards," he says to the second medic.
"What?" says one of the guards squeezing in my tiny cell.
"Someone of you was jacking off on her breasts. I'm not going to touch
her unless you clean her first."
Guards took wet napkins and start to wipe my breasts.
"I can't blame you thou. Look at these boobs!" the medic comments.
"Sometimes I wish I can stay for a night watch here as well... But
don't forget to clean them after and don't touch they vaginas."
The medic pressed his gun-like device to my hand, and I hear familiar
click sending me back into the fog.
*****
Something waked me up at night. I feel pain, someone slaps my ass, then
I feel a sharp pain as someone is pushing his penis deep into my anus.
I start to moan; the pain is almost unbearable. But the pain is also
helping to clear my mind. Someone is raping me, and with each painful
trust, I'm becoming more and more awake.
"Bitch, you are so tight!" he groans and pushes faster before stopping
and turning me around.
Slowly my eyes focus in the dim light. I see a guard, his pants are
down, his erect penis is in front of my face.
"Now I'm going to teach you how to clean me nice and slow. As dumb as
you are, you will learn how to do it."
He grabbed my hair with one hand and press fingers of the second hand
against sides of my jawbone, forcing my mouth to open.
"Good girl," he comments my mouth becoming open. "You are my new
favored toy. Now, put your tongue forward, or I will make it for you."
Feeling hopeless for so long. Wanting to cry every morning, while
watching helplessly as medic sedate me again and again. The writing on
the wall of my first cell come to my mind "...no way ... I will try to
... hope ... kill me". Suddenly it starts to make sense, "There is no
way I will let them do it to me. I will attack them, hope they will
kill me," Hate and desperation empower me.
I grab the guard's ankles and pull him with all my stretch and at the
same time push my head forward right in his erected cock. He fell,
hitting the steel edge of the bed with a loud sound.
I seat there frozen, watching as a puddle of blood is growing around
his head. Will they kill me now? What the Chief Physician said out
there? "We should care about our livestock," What if they send me to
the third stage instead? The image of huge breasted women with a bar
code tattooed on they forehead come to mind. No! I don't let them do it
to me!
I start to search the guard looking for something that can help me, but
there is nothing, no real weapon but his baton. It is not going to help
me, the remaining soldier will outpower me easily.
Undressing the soldier was very difficult, I'm much weaker than I used
to be. The shirt is smeared with blood, and it does nothing to conceal
my big breasts moving around, anybody who will look at me will see that
I'm not one of them. But I have to try.
With unsteady legs, I step out of the cell and start walking toward the
exit of our block. I make a few steps and then stop. Jeffrey, I may not
like him, but he also deserves to escape this awful fate. I know were
his cell, they put us close together.
I come to the door of his cell and press the guard's key card to it.
The lock opens with a click, and I step inside his cell. The woman
lying there doesn't look like Jeffrey. Long hair, hourglass figure, big
perky breasts. Am I also changed so much?
"Jeffrey, is it you?" He opens his eyes. "Is it you?"
He doesn't answer me, but now, when his brown eyes are open, I
recognize him. I slap him across his face.
"Wake up! We have to go!"
I help him to stand and push him toward the exit.
The exit from our block is getting close. One step, another. Are they
already waiting for us behind the door? We come close to the door, and
I press the key card to it with a trembling hand. Nothing happens. I
press it again, the same result.
Suddenly the door clicks open. I hesitate for a second before stepping
inside. The second guard is sitting there in front of screens, his eyes
locked on a DVD player showing some movie.
"Where you taking her?" he asked continuing to watch the movie and chew
something. "You want to fuck her, fuck her inside."
I leave Jeffrey to stand on his own, grab the baton with my two hands
and hit the guard's head with all my strength. I expect him to fall
unconscious, but instead, he just turns to me with surprise on his
face.
"What the fuck?!" he said getting up and grabbing his own baton. He
starts to raise his baton when Jeffrey suddenly fall on him grabbing
his hands and pushing him off balance.
"What you are waiting for? Hit him!" Jeffrey cries and I start to hit
the guard's head again and again. One hit, another hit, the baton was
hitting the guard's head with a wet sound. The guard pushed Jeffrey
away and start to get up when suddenly freeze and then fall down
motionless.
I stand there panting, looking at the guard on the floor. I become so
weak! A few seconds more and I wouldn't be able to hit him again.
I start to search the guard and then his table.
"What are you searching for?"
"Something to not let them do it to us. There is no choice, we have to
...!"
"What you are talking about? I'm not going to take my life! I'm out of
here!"
"The adrenalin will wear off within minutes, then what? We wouldn't
manage too far anyway."
"Let's drink the coffee." Jeffrey grabbed the guard's thermos and start
to pure the drink.
We seat there drinking guards' coffee. But adrenalin starts to wear off
as I expected and the drink did nothing to help. The dull sedative
state begins to take over me again, and I see Jeffrey is getting the
same.
"It is 6:45, we still have time before they come," he says, but I'm not
answering. We have time, so what? Everything stops making sense to me.
"I'm out of here. I'm out of here," he repeated it like a mantra and
starts to undress the guard.
The movie on the DVD is still running, and it grabs my attention. I
feel that my mouth is open when Jeffrey shakes me.
"Let's go! We have no time."
The clock is showing 7:15, that means we have just a few minutes before
morning shift and medics will come. Jeffrey is pushing me, forcing me
to walk and I go forward stumbling.
We walk the empty corridors, trying to navigate our way out. A vending
machine standing in one corner and Jeffrey some to it trying to figure
out how to take an energy drink out of it.
"How it works?" he is trying to press the buttons, but nothing happens.
I press to the machine the key card I used to open his cell and the
bottle drop out of it. Jeffrey grab the bottle, open it and press it to
me "Drink it!"
I managed to drink three or maybe even four bottles, and I feel like I
can't take it anymore. But the fog in my head starts to clear out. I
look at Jeffrey, he is opening and beginning to drink yet another
bottle. The uniform he is wearing looks huge on him, but his perky
breasts are still clearly visible.
"What's so funny?"
"Look at you, this uniform is funny!"
He looks down at himself, then at me.
"You are right, let's go to the dressing room."
We walk quickly passing Chief Physician's office when I stop and point
to the dressing room.
"Not men's, dummy, we need dressing room for female staff."
We come to the next door, and Jeffrey grab an extinguisher and quickly
crush a lock open, then another one, clothes spilled out.
"What are you waiting for? Start changing!" he urged me.
I removed the guard's bloodied uniform and took a long skirt in my
hands, not even sure what is the right way to put it on.
"This is too big for you! And put some underwear first, you will freeze
out there without tights."
I look at him. His naked breasts and wide hips with not a trace of a
cock between his legs, makes me stop. Is he is a woman now? Am I a
woman also? What they did to us?
Seeing me standing there and ogling him, he picked up something on the
floor and pressed it to me. "Put it on! We don't have time!"
He chooses clothes, and half forced me into it. He got dressed, and we
stepped in front of a mirror. Seeing himself for the first time in a
very long time, I gasped with surprise. The mirror is showing two young
women in uniforms and long parkas. Our hair is a mess, and we don't
have any makeup on our faces, but there is no doubt about our gender.
Jeffrey found two uniform hats and helping me to adjust it to hide part
of my face when someone entered the dressing room.
"What the hell?" the woman cried seeing open lockers and clothes
spilled on the floor. "Who is there?"
I freeze with fear, but Jeffrey picks up the extinguisher, stepped to
the women and smash her head with it. All in just one fluid motion. The
woman crumpled on the floor.
"Let's go! The morning shift starts to come."
We walk to the main exit avoiding looks of incoming people. I see they
are looking, someone even stopped to take a look at us, but we just
continue to walk. I feel the hem of the long skirt touching my legs.
Someone started to shout something inside the building, and I jump.
Jeffrey's hand grabs mine and stopped me from running. The shouts are
getting close to us. Someone is running, and I want to run too; I want
to run for my life. But Jeffrey's hand is squeezing mine, he is forcing
me to walk normally.
Few more steps and we are getting through the main gate. We press
guard's key cards to the turnstile and getting through as the guard
sitting there starts to shout.
"Hey, you two! This is not your passes!"
We run outside. The sunshine outside blind me for a moment. I hear an
alarm sound in the building. A four-wheel-drive car is parking just
outside the main entrance and Jeffrey pull me to it.
The Chief Physician had just opened the door to step out when Jeffrey
jumped in and pressed small manicure scissors to the man's neck. I took
a seat behind him.
"What you are doing? Take your toothpick out of my neck."
"Drive!" shout Jeffrey.
"I'm not driving anywhere. There is no way you will get out of here."
"Listen" I joined the discussion, "I saw what you are doing on your
'third stage'. There is no way I will be lying there with a barcode on
my head. We have nothing to lose, and we are willing to die. You better
start driving, or you will die with us."
The man gave me a look at the mirror and start the engine. Slowly we
dive to the gateway. He waves to the soldier, the gates are open, and
he is driving slowly out.
"I see we need to improve the security. But how you avoided sedation?
Have you build a tolerance to it?"
"What you are doing with us? What is the meaning of it all?"
"I have no desire to answer any of your questions. Soon they will find
what happened and we all get back to safety."
I saw Jeffrey pressed the scissors harder against the man's neck and
blood start to ooze out of it.
"Stop it! What do you want?"
"Start driving faster and explain what is going on in your facilities."
"It all was planned in advance. I mean everything, nuclear explosions,
shelters. They plan it all in advance, and I've been contacted a few
weeks before it happens."
"Who are they?"
"I don't really know. I only know that they are a really powerful group
of people. Everybody calls them the Corporation. They decided that
there are too many people and that people are killing the earth. All
major cities around the world were bombed killing more than half of the
population. And the rest of the people will be dying from starvation
and diseases."
"What it all has to do with what you are doing to us?"
"I'm getting to it. This group of people possesses advanced technology.
I was hired to turn young man and women clean of any contamination into
breeding machines. The cows are producing babies and milk for the
babies. The new children will belong to the new order, they will be
raised in the new way, no more parenthood, no private property, no
nationalism, no wars and no religion. It will be peace on earth. Can
you imagine? And I'm sorry guys, but you will be babies making machines
too."
"No, we will not."
"Yes, you will. I'm sorry, but it is too late for you. It will be much
better if you will turn back right now and let me take care of you."
"Stop the car," The man stopped it. "Open the door."
I saw Jeffrey pushing the scissors all the way into the man's neck
before pushing him out with his two legs. He changed the seat, closed
the door and start driving accelerating the car.
We drove in silence for some time before I decided to ask the question.
"Do you think he was telling the truth? I mean about us turning into
these things?"
"I don't know. But if it is true, it is still doesn't change anything.
We have to get back to our group. My father's friend is a doctor, I bet
he can stop it."
*****
I wake up early in the morning wanting to pee. Yesterday we stopped to
drive the main road when we saw a roadblock. We returned and drove the
car into the forest until it gets stuck in the snow. Then we continued
walking most part of the day. Twice we heard a helicopter flying, and
we wondered if they are looking for us.
At the end of the day, tired and cold, we come to an empty house.
Started the fire and managed to boil some water out of snow using an
old kettle. We drank hot water and shared a piece of chocolate we found
in the car.
Traditional Russian stone stove is big and has a place to sleep on top
of it. The stove was getting pleasantly warm, and it was easy to fall
asleep lying on it. But now I need to pee.
I step over Jeffrey and climb down the stove. The house in bad shape,
cold wind coming through cracks attacks me as soon as I step out of
protecting warms of the furnace. I took pieces of wood we gathered
yesterday and add it to the fire still smoldering inside the stove.
Now there was a problem. I wanted to pee, but I know I will need now to
sit down to do it. I hesitated. If my male genitals would still be
there, I would just step out and do my business quickly. But now it
seems to be complicated. I found an old cooking pot and step to a
separate room.
The process of peeing feels different. It is quicker and more urgent
and feels like I had almost no control over it when it started.
I put my clothes back on and adjusted them when I hear a familiar
sound. I rush to a window. Headlights confirmed what I hear, two
snowmobiles are coming following our footprints in the snow. I turn to
go back and wake up Jeffrey, stumble over the pot spilling the content,
stepped aside to avoid the puddle, start to open the door and freeze
realizing that I'm too late, someone is running into the house.
I freeze watching three bearded men with Kalashnikov rifles break into
the house.
"Look what we got there!" Oldest and biggest of the three men step to
the stove with Jeffrey still sleeping on top of it. "Sleeping beauty,
aren't you?" he said throwing the old blankets away and starting to
tear Jeffrey's clothes.
"Oleg, check the house, there should be two of them."
One of the men stepped toward the door I hide behind. With a rifle in
front of him, the man comes close and start to open the door
cautiously. My back is pressed against the wall, and I can see the
man's rifle, then his hands and his head appear in the doorway. I push
my back to the wall as hard as I can, trying to become invisible.
"Please don't look at me, please don't look at me!" I pray silently.
The man stopped in the doorway, look at the puddle I made and spit with
a look of disgust on his face.
"Give me a hand here!" I hear the big man shouted. I dare to look
through the door. Jeffrey, now fully awake, is trying to fight the man
with all he got. One of them stepped forward and forced Jeffrey's hands
down, while the man who was looking into my room, laid down the rifle
and joined the others grabbing Jeffrey's legs.
"Get the fuck off me!" Jeffrey cry.
"What?"
"Get the fuck off me, you motherfuckers!" Jeffrey cries.
The three men looked at each other and start to laugh.
"What language she is speaking, is it English? And look at her, these
boobs, the skin quality. Are you from Hollywood? I always wanted to
fuck one of this movie-stars, never expected one of them on my turfs
though," He removed his parka and starts to open his belt. "You know
what, guys, fuck the Corporation, we will keep this one for ourselves."
The others start to laugh in approval. The man put his pants down and
position himself between Jeffrey's legs.
Jeffrey is crying with disgust, but soon his voice changed, he is now
crying with pain.
"Oh God, no-no-no-no!" he cries, and I bite my hand not to start crying
myself.
"You better get used to it, sweetheart. Our guys are going to fuck you
day and night."
I hear what the man said, and I feel helpless, but I also can't allow
it to happen. I realize that there are things worse than death. With
determination, I slowly tiptoe inside the room. One step after another.
Unnoticed I come to the rifle and pick it up. The weight of the gun
reminds me how week I become.
The three men are standing over Jeffrey right in front of me. I don't
know what I'm doing; the rifle is so heavy in my hands. Safety, I need
to check safety; I reminded myself. But right now, I have no idea if it
should go up or down. I remember that you supposed to feel it with your
hand, but my hand is so small now, and I don't remember.
I looked at the three men still busy raping Jeffrey. I have to do
something! The guy was expecting a girl, he wasn't really going to use
his rifle, right? I turn the safety to another position.
The Jeffrey is crying nonstop, the man on top of him is groaning with
pleasure, the others are laughing with lust and excitement. But as soon
as I click the safety of the riffle, everybody stops and turn to me.
"Put it down bitch!" cried the big man. His face turned to me, eyes
filled with a wild combination of last and hate.
I press the trigger.
I know how to keep a gun, and I pressed it tight to my shoulder, but I
long forgot how it is to shoot such rifle, and my new weaker frame just
not able to handle the recoil of it. The burst of automatic fire makes
me lose the grip of the gun, almost dropping it.
But two of the men drop on the floor; one of them crying with pain,
another one silent. The third man seemed to be unhurt, stepped to me
and placed his hand on the rifle before I was able to aim it again.
"You are going to pay for it, bitch!" He snatched the riffles from my
hands and turned it around.
With a corner of my eye, I saw something flu in the air. Buttstock of a
rifle connected to the man's skull, and he drops on the floor with a
loud sound.
*****
Jeffrey is sitting on the floor; the barrel of the rifle is still
smoking. I see tears in the corners of his eyes. I move closer to him,
but he pushed me away.
"Go away, you! You let them do it to me!"
I see more tears in his eyes. I move close again, trying to hug him. He
starts pushed me back again, but then he just put his head on my
shoulder and start to sobs. I hug him and feel as his tears are running
down my breasts.
He stopped to cry sometime later, and we just seat in silence.
"You seem to know this rifle better than I'm," I say and look at him.
"My father was preparing us for something like this. He used to say
that bad times are coming sooner or later. He taught Linda and me how
to shoot, how to fight, how to survive." He sighs before continuing.
"I'm prepared to handle a lot of things, but I'm not prepared to handle
this." He grabs his breasts as he says it.
We search the bodies of three men, took two rifles, and drove away
using the snowmobiles.
*****
"What do you think?"
I shrug my shoulders. "I don't know."
The small city ahead of us looks peaceful and quiet. It already getting
dark, and I feel hungry and cold. The clothes are getting wet from all
the snow we've been walking through. We've been hiding at the edge of
the forest for an hour or so, watching for the vehicles or people of
the corporation. We didn't notice any sign of them but still felt
reluctant to go there. On our way north it was the first community that
showed no presence of the Corporation and was still alive.
Still dressed in Corporation's female uniform, I feel like I'm not sure
I want to be seen by other people. Even with a rifle behind my back, I
feel insecure and vulnerable. But I'm also feeling tired, cold and I
just have to eat something. I glance at Jeffrey, and he looks back at
me nodding. We start to walk toward the small city without saying a
word.
A lonely streetlamp illuminated a pathway and weather-beaten buildings.
I can see the light in some of the windows, and someone is closing the
curtains as we are passing through.
"It feels strange," Jeffrey says.
"What?"
"It feels strange to be outside and not sedated,"
"Do you have to talk so loud?"
"Yes, we need to talk. We are armed, we are wearing the uniform. More
normal we look less attention we draw. Have you seen two women walking
in silence?"
"I still don't ... I don't ... consider myself a woman," I answer and
hear my voice tremble.
We walked in silence for some time.
"By the way, thank you," Jeffrey says in a quiet voice.
"For what?"
"For not leaving me behind."
"You know, I wouldn't make it without you."
"But anyway," he stopped and turned to me, "I ... I just want you to
know that I appreciate..," I think I saw a tear in his eye. But a loud
sound of an engine interrupts us. Something big is moving in our
direction. Jeffrey grabs my hand and pulls me to run. We turned the
corner and see a shop standing there.
A typical provincial shop, pathetic in its attempt to mimic big cities'
supermarkets, trying to offer everything that can be sold to locals,
from fishing gear to toothbrush and underwear. But for us, it looks
like something from another dimension. An open, illuminated shop. You
can come to its door, you can open the door, you can go inside and feel
the warms of the heated room. Like everything is normal again, and
there were no bombs killing billions of people.
"Can I help you?" A young salesman approached us as soon as we enter
the shop.
The sound of a powerful engine resonated through the shops' walls. The
vehicle was getting close to the shop.
"I guess I can offer you to hide for a start." The salesman gestured
for us to walk into the back of the shop.
A large military truck turned the corner and stopped in front of it.
Few soldiers and a grim looking officer entering the shop and we hide
behind a curtain.
"How can I help you, Captai