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Maid of Honor Janet L. Stickney [email protected] In many of the stories I had read on the Internet, being the bride in a wedding was a constant theme, a good one to be sure, but still, just fiction, and I very seriously doubted that any guy could actually pull it off with any realism; maybe, but probably not. I liked to dress up, and did so when ever I had the chance, starting from a very young age. I thought that I was moderately good at it, not perfect to be sure, but in my mind, probably passable if I dared to leave the house, which I never had, or ever would. I was too scared to do that, so I stayed in my room instead, and merely dreamed of going outside of my room. My sister got engaged last week, and had been buying things in preparation for her big day, like linens and other stuff, so I had my hopes up that she would either leave things behind that I could use, or maybe, I could just take them and simply hope she didn't miss them. Janet is two years older than I am, but we are similar in size. I'm a bit taller, but she is wider, with a husky build for a girl. Not big and fat, just... husky. That's why I can fit into most of her clothes. I had also written a few stories and posted them on my favorite web site, all of them revolving around weddings and the enjoyment the "new" girls had when they were asked to participate. None were sexual, and none of them involved humiliation because that did not appeal to me. I figured that I was an average guy, just one that liked to dress up. Janet had planned her wedding to be in the following June, well over a year away, which gave her and mom plenty of time to do the planning. I assumed that I would be a groomsman, and thought nothing of it. Then, my entire world crashed when I was summoned into the den. Janet and mom were sitting there, both of them smirking. "Honey," mom said, "please sit down. We have something to ask you." She glanced at Janet, then... "We, Janet and I, have talked about this a lot, and we think we have covered every angle. We have decided that we want you to be Janet's Maid of Honor." "What!? Me? Her Maid of Honor? I can't do that! I'm not a girl!" "That's true, but before you try to deny it, I want you to know that I've read every one of those stories you've written, and we both know that you've been into Janet's things for years, so obviously you not only like to dress up like a girl, you also have a very serious interest, from the girls point of view anyway, in weddings as well!" "I asked mom to ask you to do this for me because, well, you're my best friend, and I think that you'll look just wonderful once you're all fixed up, and besides, like mom said, I know for a fact that you've been into my clothes more than just a few times, so why not? Do it for yourself if you like, but I'm asking you myself to be my Maid of Honor." I thought that I had covered my tracks well, but apparently not, because they both knew, and worse, mom had read my stuff! Scrambling for any excuse.... "But what about the rest of the family? They'll know, and if they know, then everyone else will too! I'd be the laughing stock of the entire family! Especially those morons of Betty's!" I looked at Janet. "What about Lisa? I thought she was your best friend? Why not her? Mom...." "The only other person" mom said, "that has to know is your grandmother. We are going to tell the rest of the family that you decided to take a road trip to see the country; that way you can be gone, and be here at the same time. As far as Betty goes, she won't know either, so that's not a problem. Lisa has enlisted in the Navy and will not be available for the wedding, which leaves you." "If you agree," Janet said, "mom and I will give you the makeover of your life, and with practice, I think you'll be the best Maid of Honor ever!" I just sat there like a lump on a log, unable to come to grips with the opportunity that was just dumped in my lap! Janet could be sneaky and devious, but for something like this, her own wedding, she wouldn't dare. There was no way that she would intentionally ruin her own wedding by having her Maid of Honor exposed as her brother, and mom would certainly not do that to herself, which meant that they were serious! I knew that if I accepted the offer, I would probably begin a process that might not end where everyone thought it would! It was going to be very hard to become the kind of girl that they would not only expect me to become, but needed me to become, and I knew full well that being a girl in a wedding party was a lot more than a nice dress and a pretty smile! It included bridal parties, trying on dresses, and other events where the girls got together during the months leading up to the wedding. That meant that I would have to become the girl Janet and her friends not only expected, but deserved, and it wasn't going to be for just a month or so, it couldn't! Something like this would span over a year! I looked at them again, seeing no sign of deception. "Well?" mom asked. "Will you do it?" "It's not... It'll be a lot harder than you think! I don't know a thing about being a girl. Yeah, I guess I'll admit that I like to dress up, but that's a long way from being a believable girl, especially in a wedding of all things, especially as the Maid of Honor!" "We have well over a year to get you ready, don't you think that's long enough?" Even though my heart was beating hard at the prospect that I might be able to actually dress as a girl and go outside, I was trying everything I knew to dissuade them! "Probably, but I know for a fact that to do it right, it'll be very expensive, at least at first, and I positively won't agree to do this unless I can look and feel absolutely perfect! I have to do it the best I can, and look absolutely perfect, or I don't think I can do it at all! I just couldn't do something like this halfway!" "So... you'll do it?" Janet asked. It was a chance that was just to good to pass up, so... "Yeah," I said, "I'll do it, but like I just said, I insist that I look perfect, and I know for sure that it will be very expensive! I think I know how and where to get what I need, but I can't afford it, so you'll have to pay for what I need, okay?" Mom and Janet both quickly agreed to my terms. I went in my room and began some very intensive research on what was available. I told them "perfect." I did not specify what that meant, but I knew that if I were going to do this, then I had no choice but to go all out, no matter what it cost. I wanted one of those special panties I saw on the Internet that was fully functional, right down to being able to have periods. The very best ones were custom made, and form fitted, the skin tone exact, and made not only for extended service, but to correctly function exactly as a girl would as well. And they cost a ton. It took the better part of three hours before I found a place that sold what I wanted, but their store was almost five hours away by car. I called them, and after a few questions, I was told that to obtain the very best in absolute realism, I would have to go to the store, and be prepared to spend a whole day, maybe two! Then they told me what it would cost! I almost fell off the chair! I told mom that I would be away for a few days, and I needed to make a very seriously big dent in her credit card, what with the items I needed as well as a room, and meals. Saying, and asking, nothing, she merely handed me her credit card, but I got a wry grin as well. I left that afternoon, taking a pair of Janet's shorts and a top, plus my stash of makeup. It would not be possible for me to drive back in my own clothes, not after the changes I planned on having done, and that was the reason for the shorts and top. The next morning I went to the store and spoke to the person I talked to on the phone. "You said that you wanted a panty that functions as close to that of a natural girl as it's possible to get, right?" "It's the only way I can do this," I said softly. "I just can't be my sister's Maid of Honor unless I do this!" "Of course. The reason I asked is because we sell several levels of.... realism, and I just wanted to make sure." Then she got down to the specifics; what I wanted, what I expected, was sex involved, did I want to have periods, that sort of thing. We went over every item in great detail, then we began the fitting. The molding, texturing, skin color and fit all took a very long time, almost the entire rest of day, but in the end, after I had it on for the final fit, I was ecstatic! It looked and felt wonderful! The next day she did the breast forms, which, like the panty, were also custom made, using molds of my chest, the matching of my skin tone and so on. Like the panty, after they were attached, and there was no sign that they were fake. Where you would expect to find a seam, all there was, was a barely visible, and very thin line, which completely disappeared when she used a special cover stick. It looked like I grew them myself! As a freebie, she brushed out my hair, making it look more feminine although it wasn't that long. I paid the bill, then changed into the shorts and top. Walking out of the store I was very aware of the new weight on my chest, and without a bra, the tug of the breasts as they bounced. According to the lady, I had a 38B bust, 28 waist, and 37 hips. I headed straight for a local mart where I tried on, and bought a bra, a package of panties, a skirt plus some pantyhose and a pair of flats. Then I went back to my room and changed clothes. As I got dressed I reveled in the changes; it really was a dream come true, a fantasy turned reality, and like any committed cross dresser, I had no intention of letting the chance slip by. With the panty and breast forms I could do anything Janet could do, at least physically, even though I had no expectation that I would have sex, but I knew I could, and that was all that counted. I had never considered going home looking "half and half," so the next morning I went to one of those makeup places and had them do my makeup, then a beauty shop where I had my hair done and acrylic nail extensions added. The soft red color on my nails flashed in the light, and to be honest, I loved it! Then I checked out of the motel and started for home. I wanted to both surprise them and get off to a good start, and hopefully, I would. When I walked in the house, nobody was at home, so I quickly went into Janet's room and picked out my favorite dress, the pale green sheath. It was short, sleeveless, and was just low enough cut in front to allow me to exhibit at least a part of my new assets. I put it on and freshened my lipstick, added some perfume, and went to the kitchen for a soda. Just then mom walked in. "Oh my God! Look at you! You're gorgeous!" "Not yet," I said with a smile, "but I will be by the time the wedding comes around. Could you answer a few questions for me mom? And not tell Janet?" "Of course!" "I need some help with...ah... um... periods. I need to know what you do about them?" "Why would you ask about those! I mean, you can't have.... wait a minute! You're telling me that you're going to have periods!? That's impossible!" "Well, no, it isn't. I told you that I wanted to be as realistic as possible, and the company that makes the panty, well, they have a way of...." I went on to explain the panty to her, skipping the fact that I could have sex of course, but I told her everything else. I told her the breast forms were of the same quality, and like the panty, virtually undetectable, and offered to show her. When she nodded her head, we went in my room where I pulled the dress up and my panties down so she could see. Mom was thoroughly shocked at how I looked of course, but that was the idea! Then she explained what I would have to do, still surprised that I went that far I think. I reminded her that I said I would do it only if I were perfect, and what's better than a girl that can have a period for realism? When Janet got home she squealed in delight at the changes, then she wanted to know the details. She was disappointed when all I would tell her was that I could pass any inspection, and mom, thankfully, never said a word either, other than confirming what I said. It took a few days before everyone got accustomed to seeing me as a girl, including, or maybe especially me, but eventually we settled into a routine. I adopted the name Susan, then set about trying to get documents in that name. The first was a trip to get a drivers license. I took my mother along just in case, but all they did was ask me a few questions, confirmed by my mother, then they gave me the test, took a picture, and voila! I was legally a girl, it said so on my license! I needed a job, and with Janet's help, I got one as a clerk where she works. Since I had no clothes to speak of, Janet and I shared her closet until I started getting paid and I began to buy things of my own. Things I couldn't share, like panties and bras I bought with money borrowed from mom. As the days went by I wondered when I would have my first period; it had been well over a month since the panty was first put on, and nothing had happened. I was eager to have it happen, simply because it is such a naturally feminine thing, and I dearly wanted to have that experience. Luckily I was at home when it happened. I felt it first, then the unmistakable sense that something was dripping. I ran in the bath, right past Janet, who couldn't miss it, nor miss what it meant. I cleaned up, inserted a Tampon, then changed clothes. When I walked out of my room.... "You just started a period! That's not possible! Boys cannot have periods!" "Well, yes, it is possible, and yes, I have just started my period." "Damn! When you said you wanted realism, I never figured on this!" Janet paused as I stared at her. "Wait a minute! If you can have a period, what else can you...... do? Sex! You can have sex, right?!" "Well," I said smiling, "I am a girl, so...." "If you're able to have periods, just what else should I know?" "Oh, alright nosy, follow me!" In my bedroom I undressed, as in naked, and stood there smiling at Janet. "Any other questions?" "Damn! You have a better figure than I do!" "I'm prettier too" I said to tweak her. "In your dreams honey!" "The only difference between us Janet, is that you can have babies and I can't! Other than that, we're the same!" "Then what you need is a boyfriend, because that's the only way we girls can get babies!" "Why do I need a boyfriend? I'm not... what I mean is, I never... and I wouldn't...." "Girls our age have boyfriends Susan! It's just the way it is! And besides, I hear that Greg, down in accounting has a thing for you. He's been asking around about you. Why don't you walk by his desk and see what happens? Maybe you can sort of bump into him?" "Trolling? You want me to troll for a date?" "It's not trolling silly! Good girls call it advertising!" When I said nothing... "Listen, you look great, and you have the mannerisms down pretty good, but you need to learn how to be around guys; how to turn them off, or on as need be. How a girl feels around a guy, and what it's like to have them sizing you up! What it's like to have them undress you with their eyes, and what it feels like when they touch you, like put their arm around your waist. You need some real life experiences Susan, and the best way to get it is with a guy you know, and who better than Greg?" "Greg?" "Third desk from the end on the right. Oh, and wear something that will get his attention; like that white dress with the red polka dots on it! You look spectacular in it, and it's just short enough to show off those great legs of yours!" I did not know this Greg, but Janet had yet to lie to me, so after some consideration, I thought that maybe she was right. She and her fianc?e went out every weekend while I stayed home, and even though I was enjoying the fact that I was a girl, staying home with mom was getting old, so I decided to do what she said. That night I took a long bubble bath, making sure that I was still hairless, and smooth, then used a lot of skin lotion. I set my hair in rollers and went to bed, my head spinning with what I was about to do! I was about to flirt with a guy! I won't say that I never thought about it, being a girl and flirting, maybe more, because that was always within my fantasy, but certainly not in real life! I ran my hands down over my breasts, feeling the softness of them, then into my groin. I could feel the crease, then the folds that would open to allow entry, my finger slipping inside for just a moment. As I lay there with my hand on my pussy, I realized just how stupid it was for me to enjoy every aspect of womanhood but companionship, and knew that Janet had been right. I needed to experience what it's really like to have a guy to go out with, and while I did not know Greg, I was willing to try. With that, I fell into a deep sleep. The next morning I took extra care picking out what to wear. As much for me than anything, I needed to feel extra feminine, so I selected the white high cut panties, a pushup bra with soft cups and a front hook. Nude pantyhose, then a single petticoat. I slipped the dress over my head and zipped it up, then sat at the vanity to do my hair and makeup. I went very light on the foundation, using powder, then rose blush, and a very soft blue eye shadow with a light gray over that. Black eyeliner and mascara before I took out the rollers and brushed out my hair. Red button earrings, a red beaded necklace, and a red bracelet all before I added a bright red lipstick. With the addition of some great perfume and my red heels, I was ready. I changed purses to a red one, then joined Janet for the drive to work. She kept glancing at me, a grin on her face each time. "What!?" "Well, for one thing, you look fantastic, and you have the look of a girl that's about to set a trap!" "But I'm just doing what you told me to do!" "Yeah, but wow! You look great and you know it, and those legs! That shirtwaist dress looks great on you! Greg and half the guys down there will fall all over themselves just to get a look!" "We'll see." "I'm right and you know it! Just find a reason, take your cute self down there, and sort of, ah... run into Greg. He'll go gaga, and maybe you'll finally believe me!" I found a reason about 10 that morning and was just getting ready to leave my desk when a guy stuck his head in my cube. "Hi. I'm Greg? I work down in accounting. Janet said that you might have something for me?" "Hi! I'm Susan. Here, let me get that for you." I had planned on walking down to his office so he could see all of me, especially my legs since they were my best asset, but he came to me instead, so I stood up, turned away, and bent at the waist to retrieve the document, making the back of my dress ride up, exposing my legs. "Here it is!" I said as I handed it to him. "I was going to bring it down to you, but...." "That's alright, I was ah... on this floor, so I um.... Thought I'd save you the trip." "That was nice." "Maybe you would like some coffee? We can take our break now, if you can leave?" "I'd like that! Thank you!" I think that he was as nervous as I was, but he had made the first move, and that was a good thing. He and I walked to the elevator and took it to the cafeteria, got our coffee, then sat outside on the patio. Since we were four floors up, we had a wonderful view of the city. Because I had never tried to get a guy, or had one interested in me, I knew that I would have to be careful, so he did not think that I was anything but what he saw. As I sipped on my coffee... "Janet is your sister?" "Yeah. She's older, but we share a lot of things." How true that was! "She told Jill that you're going to be her Maid of Honor." "That's what sister does!" "She should have known better, because you'll be prettier than the bride." "Now you're flirting!" "Is that such a bad thing? What if I asked you to go out to dinner on Saturday?" "Are you?" "I was thinking Italian?" "I love Italian!" "Can I pick you up at six then?" "That would be fine" I said with my biggest smile. Greg walked me back to my desk, and as I sat there I wondered just what I had gotten myself into! I am a male, and had never had any thoughts towards other males, yet I had just accepted a date! Nobody needed to tell me what guys expected from girls, I already knew. Kissing certainly, fondling, possibly, and maybe more. Even though I knew that I could do anything any other girl could do, just thinking about it was making me very anxious, because I wasn't sure that I could ever do that. I had "become" a girl only two months earlier, and even though I had years of practice, solitary practice, I was about to experience something totally new. I did not want anything to give me away, so I called the salon and made an appointment. They had an in house electrologist I had been seeing once a week for the last month. She used a new process just developed; it did not use a laser as such, nor needles, but removed hair quickly and painlessly with only a special light source. All I had left was a bit under my nose and some on my throat, so I planned on having that finished, then a full body waxing, makeup, nails and hair. It was going to be a major expense, but if I were to start dating, then anything less would be a travesty, at least to me. When I made the appointment, in retrospect, it sounded like I was taking my car in after an accident; some body work, a new paint job, and a tune up! I did not bother to tell mom or Janet that I had an appointment, I simply left the house at nine on Saturday morning. I was wearing shorts and a top for comfort. Anyone who has enjoyed the thrill of a body waxing will understand when I say that it can be unpleasant, but the results are always worth it. After lotion was applied my skin was baby soft and creamy smooth. Because my hair had grown out long enough by then, I had it cut and set in a shoulder length style that was curly at the back, fuller on top, with bangs that almost came down to my eyes. My nails were redone and my makeup done by a professional, so that when I left the salon after five hours, I never looked, or felt better about myself. It was a given that I had adopted the life of an adult female, which meant that Greg's attraction to me was not unusual, yet after he asked me out I found myself very nervous! I was also excited at the prospect of the challenges that were ahead of me. There was no question that he was cute in a manly way, my only concern was one of being able to react to him as a normal girl would. I tried really hard to put those thought aside as I drove home, the only thing on my agenda was a very long bubblebath, and picking exactly the right outfit to wear. I managed to slip into the house unseen, went in my room, and then the bath. It felt wonderful having those bubbles caress my body that way, and they left me smelling and feeling great. I spent about 30 minutes picking out my outfit, then started to get dressed. Since my hair and makeup was done, all I had to do was get dressed. Pale pink panties, with the same color soft cup bra, and nude pantyhose, then the light gray pleated skirt, the one that was two inches above my knees. The top was a pullover pink angora that fit just snug enough but not to tight. Low black heels, some tasteful gold earrings and necklace, my best perfume, and pale red lipstick. Checking myself in the mirror, I smiled, because I looked great, and knew that Greg would think so too. Mom saw me first, and gave out a whistle, which drew Janet's attention. Facing them, I merely smiled and asked.... "Well? How do I look?" "If his eyes don't pop out when he sees you he's dead!" "You're quite lovely Susan. Pink suits you." "Looks like you've gotten over your shyness to me sis, and I hope that Greg realizes what a girl he has!!" "I'm not his girl, it's just a date!" "Yeah, right, and I'm the tooth fairy. The minute he kisses you, you'll be all gaga, and that'll be the end of that argument!" "That's enough of that Janet. Susan is entitled to have a date if she wants one, and we can hardly expect her to sit home all the time, and if she and Gregory get along, what's the harm in that?" "It's just dinner," I said, but not very convincingly I think. The bell rang, and mom let him in. He saw me and smiled. He wore some nice slacks with a blue shirt and a jacket, no tie. I made the introductions, then he took me by the hand and we left. His car had bucket seats, which were a bit harder to get into, but I managed, and we were soon at he restaurant. Greg was funny without being sarcastic, polite almost to a fault, and he had the bluest eyes. We laughed, we ate, we laughed some more, and then it was time to leave, but I wasn't quite ready for the night to end, and I don't think he was either. "Let's have a drink at the pier, it's not to late, and..." "I'd love it." The Pier was noted for offering secluded booths so that couples could be alone, yet they all faced the water, which only added to the mood. I sat down first, with Greg sliding in next to me. Without hesitating, he put his hand on my leg and kept it there even as we ordered our drinks. Then, he raised his hand and turned my face so that I was looking right at him. "Susan," he said, just before his lips touched mine. No matter what anyone says, I felt a tingle run down my back, and I was unable, or maybe unwilling to pull away. He squeezed my leg as he kissed me again, a bit harder, and I tasted the tip of his tongue as it slipped between my lips. I was elated as well as scared, yet I savored his touch, and he made me feel very womanly. Those were new feelings, and as I struggled to cope with the obvious, He spoke. "I'm sorry Greg, what?" "You are, without a doubt, the prettiest girl I've ever met, and nobody has ever made me feel the way you do!" "I'm glad you feel that way! I like you too." "So... can we go out again?" "I'd like that!" Greg and I started dating on a regular basis, almost every weekend in fact, and I came to really like him in ways that I had not anticipated. Since I also knew that there was no way that I would ever go back to being a guy, I started on prescribed hormones. They would round out my body, and I would have the natural body of a girl my age. At least I hoped so! Living and working as a female had given me a new perspective, but Greg had managed to lead me to the place where having a relationship with a man wasn't very far from the possibility. I had allowed his hand to cup my breast, outside my blouse a few times, and I had touched him once in a fit of passion, but that was as far as it went. After a few more months of dating, I knew that my restraint was going to have to end soon. He wanted more, and I would have to do something about that; fortunately I had started to develop a bit, and had a full A cup breast of my own as well as wider hips and a fuller bottom. My mom and Janet thought he was an absolute doll, and they both really liked him, which, on the face of it, was a very good thing. But their approval also meant that they wanted, or maybe expected, me to continue my relationship with him. Living as a female, and with the force of the drugs taking hold, I became more confident in what and how I did things, and no longer worried about always being perfect. And like most girls my age, I was concerned about how I looked, what size I wore, and so on, yet not to the point that I was crazy about it. As my own hips widened, I had to have a newer panty made, one that reflected the growth of my own body, as well as the removal of the breast forms. Along with the changes to my body, I also came to see men in a different light. Some were handsome, some not, some were well dressed and cared about themselves, and some were pigs. It was only after I became Susan that I realized that like most girls my age, dating, the precursor to marriage, was not required, but expected, and by dating Greg on a full time basis, I had inadvertently signaled that I had made my choice, or, at a minimum, narrowed the field. Greg and I were together at a flea market when... "My family, is having their annual reunion in a few weeks, and I would like to have you come along, if you want to I mean." If I agreed to attend his family reunion with him, I would be subjected to the scrutiny of every woman in his life, starting with his mother, and I wasn't sure that I wanted to enjoy that particular event! "But your family.... I mean, it's not like I'm part of it, so maybe it would be better if I..." "I can guess what you're thinking Susan, my mom. I can assure you that she really likes you... a lot, and you know she'll treat you like the daughter she never had! She had been wondering when I would meet someone, and frankly, after we had dinner together, all she talks about is you! And besides, you're the only girl that has ever made me feel this way! Please, say that you'll come; I promise, I'll protect you from all the nosy questions, and I won't let them embarrass you!" "It's a picnic type thing then?" "God no! My mother insisted on a hall with a catered meal, a band, the works. Like a wedding without the happy couple!" "So.. it'll be dressy?" "If you wore that white dress with the red dots on it, or something like it, I promise that you'll look fine, and fit right in!" "Promise?" "I promise." When we sat in front of the house, he kissed me again, and I went in. I had agreed to attend his reunion, but only because he assured me that his mom would love it. Janet was at her boyfriends, mom was asleep, so I went to my room and went to bed, but I lay there for a long time wondering what his mother would do. I knew that she liked me, she had made that very clear to me, but mothers are funny about their sons, protective in many ways. Like my mother. My mother had agreed to let me become a girl, yet she always wanted to know where I was, with whom, and when I would be back. Greg's mom, while chiding him about getting married, and even knowing that she liked me, would not be any different, and maybe worse, because I would represent someone that could possibly take her little boy away from her. Both Janet and mom told me that he was right about that style of dress. They both said that it favored my build and height. Not wanting to wear the same one again, Janet and I hit the shops, looking for another one that was just as nice. After about five hours of looking and eliminating unsuitable dresses, we found it. The dress was Kelly green with white flowers printed on it. It had a wide but round neck, short sleeves, and was the right length. A bit tight in the waist, I also bought a waist nipper to take care of that problem, plus low white heels, and some green and white earrings. By the time we got home I was tired, but tried the dress on, wearing the waist nipper, and modeled it for mom and Janet. Both of them said it was perfect. I changed into shorts and a tee, then lounged in my room for a while, then Mom came in, "to talk" she said. "Gregory is the first man that you have dated, and while he might be perfect for you, I don't want you to simply grab the first guy that comes along, and I don't think you want to get yourself into a position that you can't get out of. What I mean is, under all that fluff and padding is a man, not a woman. Gregory thinks you're a woman, and that's fine, it's just that, well, men his age are looking for mates. Female mates. Girls they can raise families and make a life with. I assume that you can perform like a female, but beyond that is the fact that you cannot have children, which he might want! By taking you to his family reunion he is sending you a strong message honey; he wants the entire family to meet you because he thinks you're the girl for him, and I'll bet that this is the first step towards something he wants more. You, as his wife. Have you considered this?" "I know all that mother, it's just that I've never felt this... whole before! It's like I've been reborn, and now I'm able to be the person I always knew that I should have been!" Then I revealed my secret. "I've been taking hormones for a long time now, and I've... developed...quite a bit! I know that he is taking me so that his family can meet me and make their own judgments about me, but I have to do it! For me, it's not about whether they approve, it's about how I can fit in! At home I'm safe. At work I'm safe. With Greg I'm safe. But I rarely go anywhere that might challenge my abilities, and other than going out with Greg, I don't have any basis to judge myself on, or against other women, especially women that are going to see me for the first time, and approve, or not, of Greg's choice, but I am a woman now, and I have to know mother! And yes, to answer your guess, I can perform as a woman does, and even though it's not quite all "fluff and padding" as you call it, I can, and will, remedy that as soon as I can! You and I both know that there is no way that I can go back to what I was, even if I wanted to, which I don't! As far as children go, there are many women that cannot have children for a wide variety of reasons, and adoption is always an option, but Greg has not yet pushed me hard enough for me to consider whether I would actually sleep with him, but I can't, and certainly won't, rule it out! I'm old enough for him to think that I could, and maybe would do that, and to be truthful, I might even do it, but not yet." "I saw the breast forms in your closet, so I figured that you took care of that, I just want you to think about what I said honey, I don't want you to get hurt, and you don't want that for Gregory either, right? It's as plain as day that you love him, so just be careful, and don't commit to anything before you think about it, that's all I'm saying." "I will mom, thanks." I had already thought about what mom had said, knowing full well that I could step off of the precipice between desire and common sense, and very quickly sink into a deep hole, one that could ruin me both emotionally as well as financially. There was no way that I would not be a complete woman some day, but in the mean time I would have to accept certain facts. Greg is a male, which meant that he wanted me in his bed, but I already knew that, because it didn't take a genius to figure it out, and I'll admit that I thought about it. But, as good as the panty was, I was not that sure that it would perform like I was told. Could he tell the difference? Would I be able to sense his entry as well as his thrusts? Would I be able to feel him inside the panty or not? There are other ways that I could satisfy him, women have been doing it for centuries, but the goal for most men has not been "the other ways," but to mate as only a man and a woman can. I could start with "the other ways" and maybe put off the inevitable long enough for me to start the program and complete the surgery, but that was, at best, only a maybe, but I would do something for Greg if I had to. I liked Greg a lot, and maybe I did love him. We had so much in common, and there wasn't any doubt that he would be a great father some day, I only hoped that he could accept me for the woman I am rather than the woman he thought I was. I couldn't, and wouldn't, keep such a momentous thing as my "becoming" a woman via surgery from him. That would be a lie to big to hide for very long, and I wasn't willing to try! It might ruin everything if he found out from someone else. I knew I would tell him, but I would wait until the right moment. As I readied myself for the reunion, I mentally steeled myself for what was sure to be either a fun day or the newest Inquisition of this century. I didn't do anything extra special when I got ready, except for my makeup. I took great care not to over do it, yet tried to look fabulous. I wanted to get a "look" somewhere between the current fashion and Mary Poppins, mostly current, yet demure. Underneath, for lingerie however, I wore my best stuff. high cut panties and pantyhose, with a matching pushup bra and the waist cincher. When I was dressed, I brushed my hair out, letting it fall to my shoulders, with a barrette on each side to hold it off my ears and reveal my earrings. Good perfume, some light red lipstick, and I was ready to go. As I waited for him to pick me up, I sat on the patio thinking about my future. While it was true that I could experience having a period, that was entirely for my own gratification. It was an option that I wanted, knowing it would help me feel more feminine and more like a real girl. As for everything else, those were required. Breasts and hips, and more I mean. Every single thing that I had done, was for me, which I know sounds self centered, but I needed to do each thing in order to achieve my goal. I heard the doorbell, answered it, and opened it for Greg. "You look great honey!" "Thank you!" "Mom is very anxious to see you again, but she said to tell you to relax and enjoy yourself. She promised not to let anyone play twenty questions with you." "That's good, because I hate those games!" "Just watch out for Walter. He's a lecherous old man, and he likes young girls." I squeezed his hand as we walked out to the car, and as we walked into the hall he held my hand. He went straight for a specific table, his mothers table. She was about as tall as me, with dark brown hair. Her makeup was immaculate, and was her choice in dress. In short, she looked fabulous. "Hello Susan, it's very nice to see you again! Gregory talks about you all of the time!" "That's very nice Kathleen. I talk about him a lot too." "Come, sit next to me and we'll get better acquainted. Gregory, why don't you get us something to drink?" As I sat down... "Gregory tells me that your going to be your sisters Maid of Honor? How's that going?" "Janet is planning away, buying things, and getting ready, because the wedding is close, next June. She's older than I am by about two years, but we're very close." "And you're what? 21? 22?" "I'm 21." "Gregory is very fond of you, you know that don't you?" "It's hard to miss" I said with a laugh. "Men are just little boys only taller Susan. Some food, some attention, and some play, and they're just fine." "Talking about me?" Greg said as he set drinks in front of us." "Of course!" I said smiling. "What else would we talk about?" "Susan and I are going to mingle Gregory; maybe you would like to join us?" "I'll have to, or else I'll never see her again!" The three of us made the rounds, meeting every guest there. His Great Grandmother was very old, almost 95, but she still looked great, and she seemed to have all of her faculties intact. Walter, the guy that Greg warned me about looked at me like I was a piece of fresh meat ready to be devoured. Him, I instinctively didn't like. From the women I got the once over, but every male over the age of 13 looked at me with that eye that only guys have, and I knew what it was. They were mentally wondering how I looked undressed. All in all, it was about what I figured it would be. Kathleen was very nice, and did not make me answer those odd questions I figured she would ask. Except one. "Did you plan on having children?" "I can't have children Kathleen, an accident of birth makes that impossible, but there are lots of other options. My sister can be a surrogate, and adoption is always possible, just to name two." "I see. Does Gregory know this?" "It never came up, but if he loved me enough, it wouldn't matter anyway, would it?" "Oh, he loves you, but maybe he hasn't figured that out yet; but you'll tell him, right?" "When, and if, the time comes, then yes, I'll tell him exactly why I cannot have children." "That's good Susan, I know that honesty in couples is the best cure for a lot of things." Greg and I danced when the band started, then his Grandfather cut in. Like Greg, he was tall, well built, with graying hair and that same wickedly sexy smile Greg has. He was very distinguished looking, and he was a retired doctor. Greg left us, and we moved into the crowd. "You two look like you're made for each other" he said smiling; "and even though he's my grandson, and it might sound like a boast, he really is a good guy Susan." "I know that he's handsome and smart! It must run in the family." "Aahh... flattery for an old man." "Well, I'm hoping that we can make sure he gets jealous!" "He is, just wait." Greg found me, and we left the hall to walk on the grounds, just the two of us. His arm around my waist made me feel very secure. We sat on a bench under a wide tree, just watching the birds for a moment, then.... "Susan, will you take this?" I looked, and saw a ring! "I... I.... I want to Greg, but...." "Take it anyway Susan." "But we haven't been...it's... we've only been dating for a few months!" "Almost six Susan. Sometimes a person knows when it's the right thing to do, and in my heart, I know this is the right thing to do! Please, take this ring, and tell me you'll marry me!" Shocked at the sudden and unexpected turn of events, all I could say was.... "I... I can't!" I wailed, and started to cry. Then I ran back inside, only to run right into his Grandfather. His arm went around my shoulder, and he quickly maneuvered the two of us into a quiet corner. "What's the matter honey!? Did Gregory hurt you?" "No!" I said through a contorted sob. "He asked me to marry him!" "That doesn't sound so bad." "But.... I can't! Not now! I just can't!" "Look at me Susan!" His commanding voice made me look up at him. "Saying yes does not mean that you have to run off tonight, all it means is that you two would be committed to each other! There is plenty of time to consider all of the things that young couples have to discuss! So, the only question for you, is do you love him enough to say yes, or don't you?" He paused a moment, smiled at me, then took my face in his hands. "Susan, marriage is an elastic thing; it expands and contracts; the fights and the making up are part of that, yet if it's true love, it's always there, and that's something you can always count on. I know Greg as good, or maybe even better than anyone else, and I know that he would not have asked you to marry him unless he was very sure of how he feels. So, unless you want to miss out on a good guy, if I were you, I'd go find him and hug, and tell him that you'll marry him!" "It just seems so quick! We've only been going together for a few months! Six to be exact!" "I dated his grandmother for less than that, and were married for 56 years before I lost her!" Taking my hand... Susan, you can talk to me at any time, and I promise, nothing we talk about will go any further than the two of us. Okay?" "Thank you, I appreciate that," I said softly. "Now then," he said softly, "since you're the prettiest girl here, let an old man have another dance before you go find Greg." As he and I danced, I could actually sense his inner strength. Greg's Grandfather was clearly a man who loved life, the people, and made the most of them. I knew without thinking that if I told him the truth, it would never leave his lips. His reassuring manner made me feel relaxed, and calm. As our dance ended... "You would be the best thing that ever happened to Greg, so please consider everything before you make any decision, especially one you might regret, and come talk to me when, and if, you feel the need." "I will, I promise, but.... " "But you have something to hide? A secret maybe? Right? And you think it'll scare him away? Honey, there isn't a woman anywhere that doesn't have something she worries about, but if Greg loves you the way I think he does, then he'll understand. If he doesn't, well, he isn't the man I thought he was. Now then, go find him, and have a long talk, and maybe the two of you can figure this out!" I kissed him on the cheek as he hugged me. "thanks" I said, then wandered away to find Greg. I had not planned on telling him my secret so soon, but that option seemed to have suddenly evaporated. I found him with his mom. I touched his arm and motioned towards the small park. He joined me as we went outside, concern etched on his face. Once we were far enough away, I sat on a bench, looked up at him, and... "I have something to tell you honey, your Grandfather says that the only way is to tell you myself, so.... I cannot have children, because.... I.... I'm not built for it. I'm a..... I was a ....." Then the tears started. "What's really wrong honey? Tell me! It can't be something that silly, like you can't have children! It's got to be more than that; isn't it?" I sat there for a moment before I said anything. While I always knew that I should have been a girl, and I had been living as one for a bit over a year, I never ever expected to find myself loving a man. That was well outside of my thought process. I had dreamed of making love to a man, as a woman of course, but never thought that it might happen, nor did I ever consider the fact that a man, any man, might find me desirable enough to want to marry me! With Greg, I knew that he loved me, and wanted more from me, and in the past few months I knew in my heart that I wanted him to be a bigger part of my life; only my reservations kept me from acting on those dreams. Now I was faced with the prospect of total rejection, and possibly exposure. I looked into his waiting face, tried to smile, then... "I was born a boy!" I blurted it out, even as my sobs began to take over. His mouth opened in shock, I grabbed his hand, and looked in his eyes. "Please don't hate me! I've always been a woman... on the inside, and I'm almost one right now, but I still need to complete the program before I can get married, which is why I can't say yes!" "How long does that take?" "A bit over a year, maybe 18 months." "That's why you can't have children." "Yes" I said through the sobs. "I... this isn't what I thought you would say Susan! All this time, and I never had a clue! Now I know why I could never get you into my bed!" "That wasn't the reason Gregory, I.... I have a way... a specialty panty that would let us.... do it, it was... I wanted the first time to be with me!" He stared into my eyes, then.... "I only know you the way you are Susan! I don't know about what happened to, or who you were before... this! It's different, that's for sure, but it's not like I haven't heard of this before, and I'm sure that you wouldn't do this unless it was real! I don't think anybody would! I'm... Susan, this is the real you, right?" I nodded my head yes. "I don't know anything about what you're going through Susan, but I'll bet it was a very hard decision; to give up whatever you were before to become the girl I've fallen in love with!" I started to interrupt, but he stopped me. "What I do know is that I love you!" Taking my hands... "Lets not tell anyone; this will be our secret... okay?" "Ohhhh Greg!" I said, and started sobbing again. "You'll be... complete? Like a real woman, soon? 18 months.... maybe two years?" I nodded my head yes. "And isn't that about how long it takes to plan a wedding?" When I nodded my head again... "I'll admit that this is not what I figured I would hear from you, and I'm not sure that I understand it! All I do know for sure is that I love you, and while I don't understand any of what you told me, I'm just not ready to let you go! Maybe, if you explained it to me..." There wasn't even a hint of deception on his face, only questions, so after drying up a bit, I started at the beginning. "When I was about 6 or so, I started dressing in Janet's clothes...." I continued until we reached the point where he asked me to marry him. I laid it all out as clearly as I could, including the fact that other than the panty, I was a total woman. "And yes, I can function as a female right now, but it isn't real. It wouldn't be... me." I told him that I loved him, that I wanted him to love me back, and, pleaded with him not to hate me. Baring ones soul and deepest secrets is painful at best, especially if you risk hurting someone else. I just sat there, exhausted from the tension, and the explanation of my situation, sobbing, sure that he would reject me outright. I jumped up and ran away. I made it as far as the bridge before he caught me. "Susan! Stop crying it dammit! I won't hurt you, I'm just... Listen! All I want to know is this. Can you get over yourself long enough to tell me, yes or no! Will you marry me or not?" When he said that I jumped at him, almost knocking him to the ground, hugging him so hard that he started to fall over! "I'll take that as a yes. Now take the damn ring, and lets go let everyone know that you'll be my wife? We can worry about the rest later." I kissed him, overwhelmed that he responded the way he did. His Grandfather was right. Greg loved me enough to overlook my... deficiencies, and wait until I was a complete woman! He took my hand and led me inside, but I rushed into the ladies room to repair my ruined makeup, then, as I walked out, Greg took me by the hand to the band stand. "Can I have everyone's attention please!" When the room quieted down... "Susan has agreed to be my wife, and we are announcing our engagement!" The room erupted in applause, his mom rushing over, hugging us both. His Grandfather hugged me tightly, whispering in my ear... "Love him, care for him, and let truth be your guide honey." Did he know? Had he guessed? I had no idea. I did know that his entire family was ecstatic, and that made my fears lessen a bit.