The Continuation of Sissyjackie
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The Beginning Of Sissyjackie free porn video
The Beginning
I have been thinking a lot about how my Mom influenced me. She was very
beautiful, intelligent, and willful. I have always admired her and loved
being with her. It is not that I did not love my dad. When he was around
we would play ball and do other father son things. However, he had a job
which entailed a lot of travel, so he was away for weeks at a time.
Therefore, it was my Mom who was ran our home, and when my dad was home
he toed the line with her. I later suspected that he was very submissive
to her, though they tried not show that in front of me.
As I said earlier, she was very beautiful and always tried to look her
best. Her nails were always painted, as were her lips. From my earliest
recollections, I always was fascinated watching her apply that lovely
deep red color to both her finger and toe nails. She would smile at me
as she did them and ask my opinion of the job she did. Of course I said
they were perfect. One day, when I was about 4, I asked her to do my
nails. She giggled and said sure. She had several colors and asked which
one I wanted. I said, "Please do the same color. I want my nails to be
as pretty as yours." She said, "Well then, my pretty boy, the color you
chose is Revlon Red, one of my favorites." She took one hand and then
the other and lovingly brushed that wonderful red onto each nail. I sat
fixated on each nail as she completed it, and followed her instructions
to blow on them to dry as she proceeded to do my toes. When she finished
them. She told me to sit still to let them dry. I was in heaven looking
at how the light sparkled on each digit.
When they finally dried, I wanted to go out and show all my friends, but
she warned me, "No Johnnie, you should not do that. Boys and men do not
paint their nails or wear make up. Only girls and women do." I asked her
why not and she said, "Girls and women enjoy looking pretty for their
boyfriends and husbands, or for each other. For some reason, society
does not accept boys and men wearing makeup, dresses, high heels etc."
"But girls wear pants and other boy clothes. Why can boys wear makeup
and girls clothes?", I asked. All she could do was shrug her shoulders.
"Well, at least here in your home and with me you can wear anything you
want." She giggled as I continued to admire my red finger and toe nails.
We had several "girl days" as she called them. These occurred usually on
rainy days when my dad was away and I could not go out to play ball. I
really enjoyed sitting down with her and gazing over the nail colors she
had. There were not as many as ther are today, but she had reds, pinks,
coral, and purple. However, Revlon Red was my first and favorite. It
still is to this day. She also had a clear topcoat which I loved because
my nails really sparkled in the light.
Anne, the girl next door and I were good friends. We use to play catch,
ride bike, climb trees etc. She was a real tomboy. But on Sundays and
holidays, etc. She always wore dresses and shiny patent leather Maryjane
shoes. When my mother would see her she would tell Anne how pretty she
looked. I wore a suit during these times and I remember my mom asking me
to agree with her. I was bashful and turned red when I told Anne she was
pretty. She and my mom giggled at me and teased me about being so shy.
One day, for her 7th birthday, Anne got a dress up kit. It contained a
pretty pink purse, make up, jewelry, and most important plastic sandals
with a 1" heel. She came over to our house and paraded around in them
with her nails and lips painted. "Anne, you look so beautiful and
grownup.", my mom exclaimed as she fawned over her. Anne ate it up, and
I just watched. When I asked if she wanted to ride bikes, she said she
couldn't because was dressed to pretty to do those nasty boy things. My
mom giggled in agreement, and Anne soon went back to her place.
As soon as she left, I asked my mom if I could get a dress up set. She
laughed and said they were only for girls. I ran to my room crying and
fling myself on my bed. Soo my mom came in and tried to console me. She
tried again to explain why boys do not wear those clothes but it just
made me cry harder. Finally, my mom agreed to discuss it during our next
girl time. I stopped crying and hugged her and said, "Promise?" She
nodded.
About a week later, on a rainy Wednesday during the summer, he came into
my room with a box. She told me it came from my Aunt Joan, her sister.
She said, "I told Aunt Joan that we have a neighbor who has an 8 year
old girl and she could use the clothes Mary, my 13 year old cousin, had
grown out of. She let me open the box and inside were a couple of
dresses, some tights, little girl panties, slips and two pairs of
Maryjane shoes one in patent leather black the other in PL pink. My mom
looked up at me and said, "Looks like a great day for Girl time." I
could not agree more and quickly go out of bed and hugged her.
Soon I was in the panties and slip and asked my mom to use the dark pink
nail polish on my nails. I was so excited it was hard to sit still. I
kept looking at those shiny shoes. My nails finally dried and I put on
the tights and dress and the pink PL shoes. She then combed my hair and
even put a couple of pink barrette on me. I asked if she had any jewelry
and she got some small bracelets and even a pair of earring with screw
on posts. I twirled around looking at those shoes as my mom clapped and
said how pretty I looked. I was in heaven.
My mom was a movie fan and we always watched great old romantic movies
together. This time we saw it while I was dressed up and I identified
even more with the glamourous movie starts. Some of my favorites were:
Rita Hayworth, Jane Russell, and Joan Collins. Movie stars who looked so
beautiful and had strong roles. I especially liked Jane Russell. Her
Lips were always painted beautifully and she had long red nails. I loved
her in "Gentlemen Prefer Blondes", where she wore the slinky red dress
with the high slit and those gorgeous stiletto heels. I think I liked
her over Marilyn, because like me she had dark hair. I also loved her in
that showgirl outfit in "The French Line". That is probably where I got
my desire to be a Vegas Showgirl.
One time when I was 9, my mom told me we were going to see a special
movie. More and more clothes had been coming from my cousin Mary and
they were getting to be more pre-teen and even some early teenage stuff.
That day for the first time I was wearing a training bra, sheer
stocking, garter belt and 2" open toed Black PL stiletto pumps. I felt
very sophisticated. I just loved seeing my red toe nails shining through
the stockings. My mom told me that the movie was about 2 men who had to
run and hide from bad guys. They did it by dressing up as women. It was
of course "Some Like It Hot". Because of the violence, she hid my eyes
and turned the sound down for the first part when the St. Valentine's
Day massacre happened. It did not matter. I loved it. Seeing men dress
up like I loved doing was special.
I even found myself hold my wrists limp like they did to affect a
supposed female pose. I remember asking my mom two things:
1. 1. Why did Marilyn Monroe tell the boys they were lucky that they had
flat chests? "Because in the 1920's many women liked the flapper look
and they tried to minimize their boobs. It was a fashion statement," she
explained.
2. 2. Why did Joey Brown still want to be with Jack Lemmon even after he
took off his wig and showed Joey that he was a man? She hesitated at
this and then told me it was meant to be funny. Something inside told me
she was not really telling the truth and for the first time I go a
glimpse of men liking men. I did not press her but it did have an effect
on me.
Two (2) reoccurring dreams I had during this period also affected me
then and in later years. The fact that I still remember them vividly to
this day attest to this powerful effect. The first started about the
time I was 4 years old, just after the first time my mom painted my
nails. It was also about 9 months after I was in the hospital to have my
tonsils removed. I dreamt I was back in the hospital in a crib and it
was night. I could not sleep and climbed out of the crib and out into
the hall. The nurse at the station desk saw me and picked me up and put
me back in the crib. I did this two (2) more times and each time she put
me back. After the fourth time she said, "I am going to make sure you
stay in this crib". I was lying on my back and looked over as she turned
her back toward me. In the darkened room I could not see well but she
was fiddling with her blouse. She soon turned around and her blouse was
all buttoned up again, but a long white cloth was in her hands. It was a
bra, and she must have taken it off when her back was to me. She tied
the bra across the top of the crib and told me not to touch it. She then
left and I just remember staring at those two large cup pointed down at
me. I kept wanting to touch it but I dared not to. I had this dream many
times. I feel that this made me both fear the power of women and to feed
my desire to have my own boobs.
The second one started when I was about 7. My mom always dressed me as a
girl for Halloween. My outfits included: cheerleader, princess,
ballerina, etc. That year for Halloween my mom decided to dress me as a
harem girl. I just loved the sheer bra and long shear pants tied at the
ankles with bells around them. I even had small cymbals on my fingers.
After that I dressed in that costume many times during our girl time. I
would even try belly dancing with my mom telling me to shake my hips
more. In the dream, my mom takes me to a large mansion. I am dressed as
a boy and am very nervous. We are let into an office where a very strict
women is talking to my mom pleasantly about me but looking at me very
sternly. The woman picks up the phone and then 2 Teenage girls come in.
The woman tell then to take me to be prepared. I am really sacred now,
but my mom tells me to listen to them and everything will be alright.
They take me to large bathroom with a big tube in the middle filled with
bubble bath water. They strip me and have me climb in. They tell me how
sweet I am and how pretty I will look after they dress me. I protest
that I am a boy, but they just laugh and say, "Yes, a sissy boy." After
they dry me off, I stand naked as they paint my nails and put makeup on
me. Then they dress me in a harem outfit similar to my costume but much
more revealing, they also rouge my nipples saying that the sultan will
love them. They also slip on a pair of gold sandals with small heels.
They then take me into a large room with a throne like chair in one end.
There are 3 other boys there with their handlers and the girls are
giggling at how uncomfortable we feel. They make us kiss each other and
we are even more embarrassed as they call us sissies. Soon the sultan
comes in and site on the large chair. He claps and the girls demand they
we dance for him. After trying our best we are told to stop and the
sultan signal for me to come up to the chair and sit by him. He stokes
my hair as the others dance. Soon he has me siting on his lap and he is
kissing the back of my neck and tweaking my nipples. He then turned my
head and starts to move in to kiss me on the lips. That is when I wake
up. At that age I did not know very much about sex. That dream occur
rather regularly. Later, when I learned more about sex, the dream
extended longer with him kissing me and finally doing other gay things
with me.
These two dreams had a potent effect on me. One that women will control
my life and I will be submissive to them. Two, that I had latent
homosexual tendencies even at the young age.
Brandy
- 18.10.2022
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