Kylie and Chrissy Part 4 Rabbit Hole
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The Rabbit Hole Ch. 12 free porn video
The Rabbit Hole Chapter 12: Submit to the Procedure
By Trixie Adara
Edited By ALewdEditor
Penny
Part of Penny's mind heard the click of the phone. The rest of her could
only hear the silence.
"Hello?" she asked, but knew the answer.
Nothing. There was nothing. She called the number back. It was the same
motel, but she didn't know Nadia's room number. She had resisted before,
but now she could be there in minutes and make the staff tell her where
Nadia was. She didn't need to be good anymore. Her Dolly was so close,
just out of her fingertips.
And she loved her. Was that true? Penny wanted it be true. More than
anything, she wanted someone to see her for who she really was. She
wanted someone to see the monstrous parts of her but not call her a
monster. Could Nadia be that person? Could she see the broken pieces of
Penny and not just tolerate them, but want them?
No, said a voice of iron. No one wants the scraps of you.
Penny shivered. She threw off the covers of the bed and got up, pacing
around the room with her hands over her ears.
"No," she whispered. She recognized the voice. She knew it. It was back.
It never left her. She couldn't run. It would always find her.
You can't escape what's inside of you.
"Please."
She wants your power, but will she tolerate you to get it?
"Stop."
The Voice was right. Nadia wasn't interested in Penny. That couldn't be
true. She wanted Penny to be a good girl. She was just like Penny's
parents. She was just the facility. She was just like the Nurse.
Everyone wanted to make Penny a good girl. No one wanted Penny as she
was, today. They could only be near her if she behaved. If she couldn't
behave, she had to go away. Penny was tired of being sent away.
She looked around at her room. It was another facility. This was just
another test. The scenery changed but the function remained the same.
Everything was designed to lure her in, to trap her, to test her, and
then to fix her.
And what happens if Penny isn't a good girl?
Cruel memories drowned Penny's vision: the tub, the machine, the Nurse,
the electricity, the strap-on, the straps, the look on her parents'
faces as they left, her sister crying, the strap-on, the laughter, the
smell of ammonia, the copper fear, the strap-on.
Penny covered her eyes with her hands and heard the Voice. She covered
her ears with her hands and saw the memories. Around her was agony.
Within her was tragedy.
Submit to the procedure.
The Nurse. The Voice was the Nurse and the demon of the cave and Nadia
and Joanna and her parents and Harold and Nadia and Nadia and Nadia and
Nadia. She wanted to fix her. If Penny behaved, she could have Nadia.
But if Penny behaved, Nadia would never be Dolly, not a true Dolly.
Penny needed her power to make Nadia happy, but Penny's power sent Nadia
away. There was no way out. There was no solution. There was only
isolation.
Isolation.
Penny opened her eyes. Her rooms were wrong. They were all wrong. She
could see it now. It was another cage to hold her in. She didn't need a
room. All rooms were hers. She could have any room she wanted in the
world. This room was to keep her away from other people, to make her
good. It kept people safe from her. But Penny didn't need to stay here
anymore. She didn't need to play by their rules. She was too young to
break out of her first prison, but nothing could keep her here now. She
was too powerful to be caged.
Penny looked at the shelves on the wall. She looked at the pictures
hanging up. She looked at the drawers filled with clothes. These were
her trapping, designed to make her feel domestic and safe. But now they
were no more convincing than the wallpaper of a doctor's office. It was
all a ruse, and she needed to be free.
Penny screamed at the top of her lungs and charged. She tore down the
books from their shelves. She flung the clothes across the room. She
ripped and smashed. She toppled the furniture. She tore through her
penthouse and demolished her life. She broke the mirrors last. All the
mirrors.
*************************
Nadia
Joanna was in her uniform from work still. A huge stain of mustard and
something else had ruined her top. Nadia wished her girlfriend looked
shocked, but instead Joanna was something primal, something terrifying.
She was ready to fight, but Nadia's eyes darted to the phone. She needed
to call Penny back. Right now.
"I told you not to talk to her anymore."
"It doesn't hurt -"
"And you want to come back to her?"
Nadia took the comment as a slap. She fell silent.
"Is that what I heard?" asked Joanna. She stepped towards Nadia like a
threat, but the redhead moved backwards. Joanna was taller than her and
stronger. She didn't think Joanna would hurt her, but she'd never seen
her this mad before.
"Listen, I can explain."
"Explain what? Explain why you were talking to her when I told you not
to? When we both know how dangerous she is? How do you know she isn't
tracing the call? How do you know she isn't on her way here right now?
Oh, Jesus, she could be coming here right now."
Joanna's whole demeanor changed. She went from predator to prey in a
flash. She peeled her top off and threw it across the room. She brushed
past Nadia and began packing.
"We need to go."
"Go where?" asked Nadia.
"Somewhere else. She's on her way."
"You don't know that."
"I can't risk it." Joanna turned back to Nadia. She was terrified. "I
can't go back to her."
Nadia's fear broke as she looked at her girlfriend. She was a child
again, afraid of the monsters under her bed. Nadia could see her chest
heaving. Was she having a panic attack? The reasons didn't matter. What
mattered right now was the Joanna needed her help.
Nadia sank to her knees and wrapped her arms around Joanna. Joanna
resisted at first but then melted into the embrace.
"It's okay," whispered Nadia. "It's okay."
"No, I can't ..." She was crying. "I can't go back to her. To that."
"I know. She won't take you back, I promise."
"How do you know?" Joanna pulled back and looked into Nadia's eyes. "How
can you know?"
"If she wanted to trace the calls, there was nothing stopping her from
..." Nadia stopped and gulped.
"From all the other times you've called her," finished Joanna.
"Yeah."
"Jesus, how often?"
Nadia waited. This was it. She was playing with knives and now she got
cut. She was always going to hurt either Joanna or Penny, but that
wasn't her intent. She didn't want to hurt anyone.
"Every night," whispered Nadia.
"Shit." Joanna collapsed, pulling away from Nadia. "Shit."
"She's hurt," explained Nadia. She spoke quickly, all her ideas bubbling
over. "And it isn't entirely her fault. I think I can help her. I can
take care of her. I can -"
"She'll destroy you." Joanna looked up. There was sadness in her eyes,
like a pity that Nadia could be so eager and so foolish all at once.
"You know that. Don't you?"
Nadia hesitated. Part of her, the part that was always careful, did know
that Penny would destroy her. But maybe only part of her. Maybe only the
part that she wanted to throw away. Penny would destroy all the parts
Nadia didn't want anymore. She would destroy the cautious, anxious,
stressed, rule-following girl. The rest of Nadia would stay, and new
parts would arrive. She would be herself, the parts she loved, and
Dolly. She didn't need to be anything else.
"Jesus, you do know. You even want it," sighed Joanna. She turned from
Nadia and continued packing, this time deliberate and slow.
Nadia watched her. She knew she should stop her. The good-girl Nadia
didn't want to hurt Joanna. She didn't want Joanna to go. She didn't
want to give up the routine of her life. She was finding a new normal
with Joanna and the bar and the safeway house. She was finding a new
life, and now that was all fading away. And for what?
For Penny? Was that worth it? At the end of this, would she see the
ruins of her life and feel that Penny was worth every sacrifice?
Or maybe she wouldn't care at all. Dolly wouldn't see it as ruins. She
wouldn't have an opinion on it at all unless Penny gave her an opinion.
"Where will you go?" asked Nadia.
Joanna said nothing for a long time. They had moved so many times in the
past week that it was a thoughtless act. Surely, she wasn't
concentrating on that. Her mind was somewhere else. Maybe behind a wall
of pain. Maybe panicking to figure out what her life would look like
tomorrow.
"I don't know," she finally admitted. "I'll tell Jasper what's going on,
and maybe he'll let me crash on his couch for a few days until I figure
things out." Jasper was their boss at the bar. Remarkably, he wasn't a
scumbag. Joanna could trust him.
"Do you need help?" asked Nadia.
"Sure."
Silently they got to work. Nadia grabbed Joanna's things from the
bathroom. There wasn't much to pack, but they worked slowly. Neither of
them were in a hurry to say goodbye. It was too much to move all the
time, to be afraid all the time, to not know what tomorrow would look
like or where it would take place. On top of all of that, to remove the
one constant comfort in this hell was too much.
"I should have lied," said Joanna as she gathered her things at the
front of the room. "I shouldn't have told you where I'm going."
"Why ..." Nadia stopped herself. She knew why. Penny could get any
information from her. "I don't think she wants you," she added.
"Maybe I know too much." Joanna shrugged. "Maybe I'm a loose end that
needs tying up?"
"I promise you. She only wants me. This has all been because of me."
Joanna gave a gentle smile. "She took me first, hun. Besides, I think in
the end this is all about Penny. We're just pawns."
"It's different with me."
"Is that what she told you?"
"You have to trust me," sighed Nadia.
"I did. Remember?" Joanna dropped her bags. "I trusted you to not call
her. I trusted you to keep your distance. I trusted you to keep us safe.
You betrayed me."
Nadia didn't say anything for a while. Part of her wished Joanna was
angrier. She wished Joanna would just yell at her. If it was a fight, at
least she could get angry in response. But this gentle resignation, this
soft acceptance, was worse than any breakup she'd been through.
"I'm sorry," whispered Nadia.
"I'm sorry too," said Joanna. "I wish I could protect you instead of
letting you go back to her, but I can't risk facing her again. Never
again."
"You don't need to save me from her. She's what I want."
"That's what every girl in an abusive relationship says."
"She isn't abusive she -"
"What? Tells you what to do and think? Takes in those you love under her
control or separates you from them? She moved you in closer. She made
you quit your job. She micromanages every decision but she's not
controlling?"
"What if that's what I want?"
"If you wanted to kill yourself, should I let you?"
Nadia clenched her fists. "Is that what you think I'm doing?"
Joanna shrugged. "In a way."
"It's my life. I can pursue what I want. I have that freedom, even if
that freedom means giving freedom up."
"I'm not going to talk you out of it."
"You can't," said Nadia. "I'm sorry, but you can't."
Silence descended on them. There was no malice in Joanna's voice. No
frustration. There was a gentle sadness as she looked at Nadia, as
though Nadia was the saddest and dumbest girl in the world.
"She's not abusive," said Nadia, almost to herself more than Joanna.
Joanna stepped forward and put a hand on Nadia's shoulder. "She is. You
don't see it yet, but she is. And I wish I could get you to see that. I
wish I could pull you away and let you look at the situation
objectively. She's a cancer, and I wish I could cut her out. But right
now, you'd put it back in. You're too obsessed. But that's not the scary
part. You want to know the scary part?"
Nadia met Joanna's eyes.
"The scary part," said Joanna. "Is that I can't tell if Nadia is
obsessed or some part of Penny's control is in your mind, making you
obsessed."
Nadia looked into Joanna's eyes, not breaking contact. She hadn't
thought of that before, but she supposed it was true. She was certain
that she was free of Penny's control, but what if some part of Penny
remained. What if these phone calls were all part of some plan to bring
Nadia back to her?
"Sometimes," said Joanna. "If you love someone, you don't let them get
what they want. I know that sounds terrible, but sometimes love has to
be stronger than desire."
Joanna bent down and kissed Nadia on the cheek, turned around, picked up
her bags, and left.
*************
Nadia stared at 1000 Union Ave. From here, she had no hope of spotting
Penny's penthouse, but she tried anyways. She'd been here for an hour,
trying to build up the courage to go inside. After Joanna left, she
tried calling Penny back, but she didn't answer. Nadia couldn't blame
her. She needed to find Penny and explain things to her. She needed to
set this right. Otherwise, she could lose Penny and Joanna all in the
same stupid move. She'd never forgive herself if she let both women slip
out of her hands.
"Just do it," she told herself for the seventh time. "If she's not
there, wait for her or go back to the motel. Come back tomorrow. Leave a
note. Do something. Anything besides sitting here and moping."
She began to pace. "What's the worst that can happen? She takes you
under her control and punishes you? That's what you want, right? Well,
not exactly that, but something like that. I mean, being under her
control, no matter the circumstances, is a success, right? No big deal."
Nadia bounced up and down on her feet, trying to hype herself into
entering the building. "I mean, I guess she could use her powers to send
you away forever. Then what? You could go back to the motel, go back to
the bar, go back to the ladies at the safeway house. You could pick that
life up, even if Joanna didn't want you there. Right? Right?"
Nadia took a deep breath and crossed the street. "Hey Gus," she said to
the doorman, but when she tried to walk past him, he stepped in her way.
"Ma'am?' he asked. "Is someone expecting you?"
"Gus, it's me." Nadia sighed when Gus squinted closer to get a look at
her then yelped when she realized she'd tried to disguise herself. At
this point, she looked like an adorable goth girl: short black hair
still in her bob haircut, fake septum piercing and lip piercing, makeup
to look as pale as possible, heavy eyeshadow and eyeliner, black
lipstick. This was her mask for the past three weeks, and though when
she looked at herself she didn't think she looked that different, she
could imagine it confusing Gus.
"It's me! Nadia." Gus squinted his eyes more, practically closing them.
"Penny's girlfriend?" added Nadia as she pulled away her fake piercings.
Penny and her had never used such intimate terms, but she imagined Gus
didn't know the difference between girlfriend and loyal, mindless Dolly.
Nor did she have the courage or patience to explain it.
"Miss MacQuarrie?"
"The one and only."
"Oh! I didn't recognize you will all the," Gus gestured to his entire
face, "that."
"New look," said Nadia. "I'm heading up to see Penny."
"She's not here, ma'am," said Gus. "She left about an hour ago."
Nadia scrunched her face. She was worried that would happen. "Well, then
I just need to leave her a note. Sound good?"
Nadia tried to step past Gus, but he blocked her way again. "Haven't
seen you in a while," he said. "Did I hear correctly that you moved
out?"
"Yeah ... about that." Nadia had thought of several flaws in her plans,
but Gus, the overly nosey doorman, was not one of them. "We broke up,
and I did move out, yeah, but I'm trying to patch things back up and
talk to her."
"Sorry to hear that." Gus pointed to Nadia's hair. "Did you do that when
you two broke up?"
"Uh ... yeah."
"My daughter did the same thing when her boyfriend broke up with her.
Well, she went blonde, not goth."
"To each their own," added Nadia with a shrug. "Can I go up?"
"Sure thing, Miss MacQuarrie."
Gus stepped out of her way, and Nadia went into the apartment building.
That was simpler than she thought it would be. I guess the truth can
have that effect on people.
No one else bothered her on the way to Penny's penthouse. She got to the
floor just fine, and paused in front of Penny's door. She prayed to some
silent god and tried to turn the door handle. Mercifully it obeyed, and
the door creaked as it swung open. Nadia took a deep breath and entered
the apartment.
It was a disaster zone. Hurricane Penny had flipped everything that
could be flipped. She snapped anything that could be snapped. She tossed
and scattered whatever wasn't bolted down or heavy. Luckily, Penny
didn't have that much furniture to begin with. The worst Nadia could see
as she entered was the kitchen. It was a sea of shattered glass and
porcelain.
Nadia walked through like a ghost haunting her own misdeeds. She
couldn't escape the knowledge that she did this. While Penny was
physically responsible, she was also possessed with the grief of Nadia.
Nadia might as well have done it herself.
Nadia moved cautiously down the hallway towards Penny's office, bedroom,
and The Rabbit Hole. She glanced into Penny's office. It was a graveyard
of books and papers. She looked into Penny's bedroom and what must have
been ground zero for her rage and tantrum. The bed was overturned.
Clothing was everywhere. The mirrors were shattered. Even in the
bathroom, the mirror was shattered with small rivulets of blood going
from the point of impact to the sink.
"Oh God," whispered Nadia.
She was almost too scared to go into The Rabbit Hole, but she had to
check. The Rabbit Hole was Penny's life work before she got her powers.
It was the culmination of her skills as a hypnotist. It was originally
used to permanently rewire a person's identity over months of exposure,
as she originally planned to do to Joe. With the help of Penny's powers,
it was quickly becoming obsolete. Maybe it was spared her wrath.
The smell of burning plastic hit Nadia first. She looked over the room,
but there was a black cloud, almost a fog, hanging in the air. She
started to cough before she got inside, and she turned around and closed
the door. She needed to call the fire department, but somehow, she knew
Penny would never consent to people going in there. There would be too
many questions.
Nadia spent the next hour trying to clean up. She had no idea where to
start, but she figured the wisest thing was to try and make the space
safe and habitable first and foremost. She swept up the glass and tried
to open windows to let out the smoke from The Rabbit Hole. She did it
all in silence but, despite her best efforts, her mind raced with a
thousand possibilities. They were the same unlikely scenarios over and
over. She had no new information either. She knew Penny was gone. She
knew Penny would be mad. She didn't know when Penny was coming back. It
was the same story and yet, sitting amongst the ruins of Penny's home
made it more bleak. She had no reason to hope less, but she did.
Her mind thought of a dozen terrible endings. Perhaps Penny took her own
life. Perhaps she ran away and was never returning. Perhaps she was
homicidal, looking to end Nadia if she couldn't have her. Each time she
tried to calm herself with logic and reason. Each time she failed. That
was the trapping of her mind. There was no cure for her imagination
except for mindlessness. Her mind wandered to the darkest parts of
reality, and Penny was her only escape.
Penny whom she had hurt. Penny whom she had chased away. Penny whom she
had betrayed. Penny whom she abandoned. Penny who now abandoned her.
Nadia sat in the ruins of Penny's apartment. It was late, past midnight.
If Penny wasn't back now, she probably wouldn't be back at all tonight.
Maybe she'd be back tomorrow morning, or maybe she went on an impromptu
trip. She'd done that before. Nadia needed to sleep, and there was no
place to do that here anymore.
Nadia went back to her motel room. She didn't talk to Gus on her way
out. She did her very best not to think at all. She needed to sleep,
that's what she needed. She needed come back at this with a clearer
head. Once Penny calmed down, things would be fine. When Nadia calmed
down, she could look at this with positivity. Hell, maybe Joanna just
needed to calm down. That was it. Everyone just needed a night's sleep
and the chance to calm down.
Nadia was so focused on not thinking, that she didn't notice her motel
room door was already opened partially. She didn't notice the lights
were on. She especially didn't notice Penny walk out of the bathroom at
the sound of Nadia entering the motel room.
"Hello, Dolly," she said.
Nadia's eyes widened as she looked up. Penny looked like a ghost of her
former self. Her blonde hair was loose and wild. The bun or ponytail she
normally wore it in was tangled with a nest of stray hairs. Her makeup
was runny and smudged across her face. She was in black silk pajamas
that were snug against her body, but there was one cut along her thigh
that had gone through the silk and part of her flesh. The left sleeve
was torn and peeling off the torso. Her right hand was wrapped in dry
blood and dangled limply from Penny's side. She looked like she'd been
kidnapped and jumped out of a moving car. She looked wild and feral.
Except for her eyes. Penny's makeup was in disarray, but her face held
the same predatory look Nadia had come to know, fear, and love. It was
the face Nadia had when she first saw Joe and the face when she
discovered Dr. Tuminaro. It was the face she wore when she was about to
destroy a bully, and it was the face she had for Nadia now. The face was
rage.
"Penny, I -" started Nadia.
"Stop."
Nadia's body went rigid. The words of explanation and pleading and
apology died on her tongue. She knew this was it. Penny could destroy
her. She could do worse than make her a doll. She could carefully craft
her agony like she did for Joe. Perhaps she'd make Nadia hopelessly
devoted to some stranger, helplessly in love with him, just to break her
heart. She could do that over and over. There was no end to the
punishments she could create. Reality was clay to her.
"I'm so happy to see you," said Penny. She looked over Nadia's body, her
face, her hair, and grimaced. "Though it's a shame what you've done to
yourself." She stepped forward, limping a little as she approached, and
stroked Nadia's hair. "No more running," she said. "No more games.
You're mine."
Nadia wished she had control of her body. She wished she could hug and
kiss Penny. She wished she could thank her. She wished she could smile.
She wished she could fall to her knees and worship. She wished she could
say how happy this made her. She wished she could apologize. She wished
she could say she'd never do it again. She wished she could do anything
to make it right.
Instead, she was rigid. She was a good doll, and maybe that was what
Penny wanted more than anything. Maybe that was what would make Penny
happy, and if that was the case, that's what made Nadia happy.
"Close the door," commanded Penny.
Nadia obeyed. She didn't want to cry out for help. She didn't want to
run for her life. She didn't want to find Joanna. She didn't want any of
that. She wanted to jump and down. She wanted to squeal. She wanted to
dance for joy.
Instead, she obeyed.
"Take off your clothes."
Nadia obeyed. She stripped without seduction or joy. Her clothes came
off effortlessly and efficiently. There was no doubt. There was no
delight. There was only the motion, the mechanics of the action. There
was only the commands and obedience to them.
"Become Dolly," commanded Penny.
The transformation was immediate. There was no hesitation. There was no
pause. Nadia slipped out of her identity as easily as her clothes. All
thoughts vanished. Even the thought of joyful anticipation at returning
to her beloved Dolly escaped Nadia's mind. There was no mind of Nadia's
for it to go to. There was only Dolly, and Dolly was blank. Dolly was
whatever Penny wanted.
Penny wanted Dolly to do much. She ordered Dolly to take her to the
shower and clean her body, washing each inch with care. She didn't trust
Dolly with medical care, so the cut on her thigh and her cut hand were
left alone. Dolly washed her hair with care. Dolly dried every inch with
a dab of a towel. Dolly scrubbed, trimmed, and filed Penny's
fingernails. Dolly dried her hair. Dolly lotioned her body. Dolly took
care of everything, undoing all the damage Nadia did.
She didn't do it with love unless she was told to. She didn't do it with
tenderness unless Penny was explicit. It wasn't loving without Penny's
command. It was professional. It was reliable. It was consistent. It was
immediate.
Dolly was very well behaved.
It was late, and Dolly's eyes were heavy and drooping. Twice she almost
fell asleep as she waited for her next order. Penny tried commanding her
to stay awake, but her body had been through much today. She needed
rest, and so did Penny.
She ordered Dolly to hold her through the night. She ordered Dolly to
talk about something, anything, but there was nothing in Dolly's mind to
say. There were no memories and no imagination. Penny had to order Dolly
to remember Nadia's day, and then order her to tell her all about
Nadia's day.
"Nadia had a good day today," she said robotically. "She went to work at
the bar. One of the men there was drunk and grabbed her ass. She didn't
want to cause a fuss, so she didn't say anything. She didn't like it.
She hates when the men there try to touch her, but most of them are
drunk. She knows that if she tries to stop them, there will be
retribution. They can get violent. Nadia could get fired. It's not safe
to speak her mind."
On and on it went. Dolly gave the facts of the day and the most private
thoughts of Nadia's life with the same inflection. Dolly held Penny and
spoke without hesitation, regret, guilt, or shame. Penny quickly fell
asleep, and without any other orders, Dolly continued to speak. She
spoke about talking to Penny on the phone. She spoke about Ginger. She
spoke about changing her mind, about accepting the consequences of
loving Penny. She spoke about Joanna finding her and leaving. She spoke
because she was ordered to, and no one listened. It was simultaneously
heartless and intimate. She spoke of her deepest fears and concerns as
though she spoke about the weather.
As she spoke, Nadia realized that nothing was forcing her anymore. She
spoke, not because she was ordered to, but because it felt good. It felt
good to say she loved Penny without hesitation. It felt good to say she
feared Penny without concern of repercussions. It was a strange time for
her as she held Penny. It was a time of no consequences. It was the
closest she'd ever felt to Penny, and yet, Penny was gone to her, a
closed window.
But Nadia couldn't enjoy the moment for long. Sleep came for her, and
she willingly dove into her arms.
** If you want to follow me, get more of my writing, or support me,
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