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Sister Act Janet L. Stickney [email protected] It was an act, nothing more, but as I stood there next to her, I had the strangest feeling wash over me, as if my life was about to take a nasty turn, only I didn't know why I felt that way. Mom was sitting next to dad, watching us closely as my sister and I stood waiting for their judgment. Just being there, dressed up like that, was due to an accident. My cousin was supposed to be there, but she took a header off her bike, suffering a nasty bruise on her head. Even then it might have been okay, if only the doctor hadn't shaved so much of her hair off, just so he could get the bandage to stick. With a real nasty scrape on her arm and an egg on her head covered with a bright orange bandage, she refused to even consider going on, which is when both of our mothers started to look around for someone to fill her spot. Everyone, including me, knew that the only person in the family about the right age was me, but gratefully, they all ignored me. Then my dad of all people stuck it to me! It was only when he casually mentioned that not only was I the same age, but also about the same size, that they all turned to me. Horrified, I quickly said I wouldn't do it, but I never really had a chance, not once mom got it in her head that I would, and it didn't seem to matter what I said. I pleaded, begged, refusing to even consider it, but I failed to sway her in any way. Mom was very firm about it and simply refused to consider my wishes and my absolute refusal to go along with it. It took my mom two days, and while I continued my refusals, in the end, I found myself standing in my bedroom dressed from head to toe like a girl, complete with all the underwear, pantyhose, dress, boobs, a bra, makeup, earrings and my hair brushed out and made to look like my sisters. Looking in the mirror at myself was like looking at my sister, and as much as I hated it, I did have to admit, just to myself of course, that I didn't look like the old me in any way; I didn't actually look too bad as a matter of fact. The dress was a frilly mass of pink satin and white lace, rustling petticoats made of taffeta, a really feminine dress. Worse, if I can say it, the dress fit me tightly enough that the small boobs mom created stuck out like my sisters. Mom was a bit to eager for me to do it to begin with, but after she saw me, when she was done playing doll with me I mean, well it got real bad, real quick, and I couldn't stop it. "Just look at you! You're simply adorable!" "Great," I said sarcastically. "Can I change now?" "Change? Now? Oh no! I don't think so...not until Mary has a chance to see you any way!" "Mom!" "Hush up. You look just fine and you know it! Now come with me so your father can see you. After all, it was his idea you know." You could say that the very last thing I wanted in the whole world was for my dad to see me like that, but mom didn't hesitate to take me by the hand and drag me out into the familyroom so he could do just that. Figuring he would start laughing, I waited for it, his usual guffaw I mean, but he didn't laugh, he frowned. "Well?" mom asked. "He's...I thought that he might, but..." "He looks just delicious and you know it!" "Yes, well, you're right of course, but I didn't think that he..." "Alicia is in her room getting dressed," mom said, "let me see if she's ready." When my sister walked out it was as if I was looking in a mirror! Alicia just stared at me, her mouth open, and certainly not laughing like she said she would. "See! You were right!" mom said to dad, "they do look just like sisters!" "Mooom! Can I go change now? I feel stupid wearing a dress!" "No. I'm going to call Mary and have her come over. Then maybe you can change." "Maybe?" dad and I asked at the same time. "She should get used to the dress, so when we go put her name in tomorrow as Jennifer's replacement she won't feel quite so awkward!" I looked at dad for support, but he gave me a sheepish look instead. Like me, he knew that once mom got something in her mind, we didn't have a chance; besides, it was him that opened his big mouth. Mom was going to make sure that I was standing right next to Alicia when the judges made their decision, and that was all there was to it. It was a silly contest put on by a local radio station. They wanted to see how many kids within a family, and weren't twins, actually looked like each other, and had set up boy/boy and girl/girl categories by age. That's why Jenny and Alicia were paired together. As cousins, they qualified; but since there were nothing in the rules against a boy dressing as a girl, I was stuck with it when Jenny got hurt. I know. I read that set of rules myself, twice! I tried to get Alicia to go as a boy, but she and mom pointed out that hiding her boobs was harder than having me wear a padded a bra, and besides, Alicia said that wasn't about to do that under any conditions, and mom didn't blink an eye. That's why I found myself in a dress. She got away with saying no and I didn't. Aunt Mary came in a bit later, took one look at me, and almost fainted right on the spot! "Damn! She looks just like Alicia's twin sister!" "Exactly! That means they have an excellent chance to win!" "Is that what she's going to wear when you sign her up? I mean, isn't that dress is a little...ornate? "I was thinking," mom said, "that she could wear just a skirt and blouse, nothing fancy." "You'll still have to tell them they're brother and sister you know." "Yes I know, but it's not disallowed in the rules, all it says is they cannot be twins, so why not?" I was allowed to change, but I knew that the next morning mom was going to get me all dressed up again, drag me out of the house, and enter me in a stupid contest, just to win a few bucks and a crummy tee shirt. Dad was shocked to see how much I looked as a girl, and I'm pretty sure he regretted mentioning my doing it, but then again, he didn't try and make mom reconsider either, and that left me without any choice in the matter. The next morning, just as she promised, mom was in my room helping me get ready. Because the clothes weren't quite as important as the way we looked, both Alicia and I had spent the night in rollers, to both shorten her hair just a little and lengthen mine some, or make it seem that way. Once I was dressed in that short skirt with a pale yellow blouse, mom spent extra time making our hair and makeup look just alike. My skirt was yellow and white, Alicia's red and white, we both wore white shoes and ribbons in our hair to match our skirts. When mom said it was time, I was forced to leave the house dressed just like that. At the radio station, mom carefully filled out the form, using my real name of course, then handed it in. The lady read it over, and when she got to my name... "One of these girls is a boy?!" "It doesn't say they have to be the same sex in the rules, only that they can't be twins, so yes, one of them is a my son." "Which one?" "If you can't tell, maybe I shouldn't say! Besides, it doesn't matter does it?" "No, I guess not," the lady said with a grin, "I'll enter their names. They will need to be here at ten on Friday for the eliminations, then again on Saturday at two if they are not eliminated on Friday." I was embarrassed beyond belief that they knew I was a boy, and what I really wanted to do more than anything right then was split, but Alicia grabbed my hand and squeezed. It was her way of telling me it would be alright, but I wasn't so sure. The three of us left, but rather than go straight home so I could change, mom insisted that we stop for lunch, which is when I found out that mom didn't want me to change! She told me that she wanted me to stay dressed up so I could get used to wearing girls clothes! Only it wasn't the clothes that were so bad, it was the possibility that some of my friends might see me like that, which is why I really wanted to go home and change, and did my best to make that happen. Mom simply ignored me, then went on and on about how I would have to learn to be as "ladylike," as possible, telling me that by remaining dressed as a girl I would have a better idea on how to do just that. I tried, but of course, I also lost that argument. My sister patted my hand then told me it would be okay. By the time we got home I had resigned myself to the fact that I was going to be in that stupid contest wearing a dress, and there wasn't one thing I could do about it. Alicia dragged me into her room the moment we got home, telling me that we had to talk. "You know how mom isn't so hot on details? Well, if we don't get eliminated, and move up, there's going to be some kind of party after the second elimination round! It's right in that brochure, and I know you read it!" Alicia saw my confusion, so..."Listen dummy, that means that you won't be able to just quit like you thought! You'll have to go to the party too!" "So?" "With all those kids there, how many do you think will be boys our age?" That's when I got it. "Me? In a dress? Around boys? Oh no, I'm not going to stick around for that!" "You might not have a choice! Listen, if that happens, what are you going to tell them your name is? What I mean is, Jeff isn't exactly a girls name you know! I was thinking that maybe...Angela? Would be a good name to use. It sort of goes with mine in a way, and..." "Angela?" "Just for that party, if we don't get eliminated I mean." "This is going to get real bad Alicia, especially if any of the guys see me like this! I'll never live it down!" "Then why not be as much like a girl as you can? What I mean is, you already know that you don't look like yourself, so...maybe, if you just try to be more like a girl, then how would they know? You going to tell them?" "No way!" "Then why not try it?" "How am I going to learn how to be a girl? When? We don't have that much time left!" "We have three days, right? Why not...how about we walk over to the plaza? They have a lot of stores there, plus the ice cream place! At least I can show you how to walk like a girl anyway!" "Like this!?" "No silly! We'll wear something cool, like some of my really short skirts! Let me get you one, then we'll change and get going!" "But...you want me to go out again, as a girl?" Alicia nodded her head yes, which sent shivers down my back. As I watched, she tossed a skirt on the bed, then unzipped her skirt. I turned around so I wouldn't see her change, then she went ahead and unzipped my skirt and handed me the other one. She said that our skirts would be real short, telling me that I would have to be careful about how I walked or sat down. Dad and I called short skirts like that sexy, only now I would be wearing one, and sexy wasn't on my mind in any way! I wondered what dad was going to say when he saw me. Since my blouse was pale yellow, she gave me the pleated navy skirt. I wasn't sure I should do what she said, but I was sure she was right about one thing. If I didn't want to be found out, I would need to do what she said, and be as much like a girl as I could manage. I pulled the skirt on and Alicia looked me over, then had me pull it up. The she said I didn't have much hip, so she went into mom's sewing room and got some cotton batting, then told me to shove some on each side of my panties. When I pulled the skirt back down, she was smiling. I felt like a dork, but that skirt really did more to make me look like a girl than anything else I had worn. Still wearing the pantyhose, my legs looked long, and actually better than I expected. "Ready? I'll get some money from dad, and we'll stop and get an ice cream! Here, put this on." It was lipstick. Alicia did her lips while I watched her, then I did the same. Taking me by the hand, she and I left her room to find dad. Alicia told him where we were going, then got some money. He stared at us for a moment, started to say something, then didn't. Going outside, not in the car was worse than before, but Alicia waited for me as I struggled with the idea of it. "Go ahead," dad said, "you might as well get used to it, I guess it looks like you don't have a choice, do you?" Alicia and I walked to the corner, then across the street, and finally, three blocks later, we were at the plaza. My sister went on talking to me as if we were actually sisters, taking me into the lingerie store where we just looked around a bit before we left. Our next stop was a small costume jewelry store, then we stopped for ice cream. No one had looked at me as if they knew I was a boy, but that didn't make what I was doing any less scary, or make me feel any better about it. After that she and I went into the mart, just walking around for a while until I nudged her to let her know I wanted to leave, which we did. On the way home... "You were just great! Not one person knew!" "Yeah, it was great." "Quit being like that Angela! You're kind of cute as a girl, so why not use it?!" "On who? Not the boys that'll be at that party!" "No, on dad of course!" "He'll kill me." "Not if you're all fixed up! Want to try it when we get home?" "Whatever," I said glumly. I should have known better. At 15 years old, Alicia was discovering her own sexuality, and had lots of clothes in all kinds of styles, and that meant that she could turn me into almost any kind of girl she wanted me to be, so the minute we got home, we once again went into her bedroom. I shinnied out of the skirt and blouse, turning to see her grinning, holding out what I later found out was a corselet. I let her get me into it, but as she laced it up and my waist began to get smaller, I could see in the mirror that the little bit of excess on my chest began to rise up! "Mom doesn't know I have these. Lets try them on you!" After shoving the small breast forms into the cups, it looked like I had boobs, just like she did, not just lumpy rolled up socks ! Then came a short black mini dress that had a scooped neckline, the result being that I was baring a modest amount of cleavage! Alicia got dressed in almost the same thing, then she touched up my makeup, using a brighter blue eye shadow, darker eyeliner, mascara, and blusher. I wiped off the lipstick, then used the one she gave me, which was more red. When she was done with herself, she and I put on some heels, mine black, hers white. She looked at me and smiled, spun me around so I could see myself, then handed me the perfume. "Go ahead! Use just a little though." When I did it..."Now lets go out there and wow dad, and remember, be a girlish as you can! Be...campy?" "I'll try," but dad isn't going to like this! We walked out together, but it was mom, not dad that saw us. Her mouth dropped open a little, then Alicia and I sort of strutted right past her, going in the kitchen, the unmistakable scent of two different perfumes trailing after us. Getting a soda, she and I turned around just as mom walked in the room. "Mom, this is Angela. We decided to try a few things." "I see that! Angela? Is that what you're calling yourself now? You look..." "She's hot mom, real hot!" "I see that! Does this mean that you're not going to fight us about being in the contest?" "I guess," I said, "but what about the party afterwards? You seemed to have forgotten to mention that mom." "Party? What party?" "The one," Alicia said, "for those that make it past the second elimination round? The one on page three of the brochure? The one that requires suits and ties for the boys and party dresses for the girls?" "I must have missed that!" "Yeah," I said, "and now, if we make it that far, I'll have to be there, all dolled up and stuck in a room full of guys!" "But you're so lovely...Angela, that I can't see why you're worried about it!" "It's not like you think mom! I know that I look okay, it's just that..." "What she's worried about is, what if some of the guys there also think she's hot!" "Yeah!" "Then you'll just have to tell them your not interested! They'll go away if you say that, but be polite." Mom was living in a dream world, but I didn't have a chance to mention it, because dad walked in and saw us standing there. He surveyed what had become of me, including my modest cleavage before he said a word. He was a bit shocked I guess, then Alicia told him I was using the name Angela. That made him frown, and he turned and walked out, muttering to himself. Alicia and I went outside to drink our sodas, only going back in when it started to get dark. I never did get to practice on dad, but Alicia kept telling me that I was doing fine, that I was pretty, and I slowly started to believe her...a little. The next morning, since mom found out that we would need party dresses if we weren't eliminated, and after both Alicia and I both refused to wear those funky frilly things she had bought, we all went shopping. Like my sister, I was wearing a skirt, but unknown to mom, I was also wearing that corselet and Alicia's enhancers. It gave me better, more natural looking boobs and a smaller waist if nothing else. Mom wanted one type of dress, but Alicia said they looked to "old lady", and went directly to the ones she liked. Since I didn't have a clue, I went along with what my sister said, and mom caved in once she found out that the only way we would wear the stuff she picked out, was if we were dead. That was according to both my sister and me. When we left the store, we each had a dress in exactly the same style, which was sort of a compromise between mom and us. Knee length with full skirts and a single petticoat, a fitted bodice with a round neck and sleeveless. Mine was white, Alicia's pale blue. We could both wear white shoes, so we each got a new pair of shoes, then, after an inner struggle with myself, I agreed to have my ears pierced. That way I could wear the same jewelry as my sister, and besides, it was starting to be "in," for guys to have pierced ears anyway. Alicia and I got our jewelry at the same time, but in different colors. When I asked mom why she was spending so much money to win a few bucks... "A few dollars?" mom said in an astounded voice, "It's more like ten thousand if you two win, five if you come in second!" "Do we get the money," Alicia asked, "after all, we're going to be the ones on display." "Of course you'll get the money!" All of a sudden, when I heard how much we could win, I had a great deal of incentive to do the best I could, so the minute we got home I went into my bedroom and went on line to find out as much as I could about boys that dressed up as girls. On an FAQ page, I found directions on how to make myself look more like a girl down below. It didn't seem complicated, so I printed the page, logged off, then undressed and locked myself in the bathroom. Following the directions carefully, I quickly shaved my groin, then used some tape to hold myself down, managing to give myself a smooth front. Then I put on those tight shorts Alicia gave me. They were so tight that with the changes I made, I had a tapered, smooth vee shape, which meant that it looked like a I was real girl! Then I went to find Alicia, to tell her that I had found a way to look like she did, but... "Angela! Look at you! You look...great! I guess this means that you can wear most everything I can?" "I guess, I only did it so that...to make it seem that I'm a..." "A girl. I can understand that, and those shorts are tight enough to prove it works, whatever you did, Can I see?" "No!" "This is getting really strange Angela, especially since you look just like most of my girlfriends! And think of it! Ten grand! If we win," she said, "we can get anything we want!" "Only if we win, and just remember that I'm still a boy in a dress, not a real girl!" "Yeah, I remember, but still..." Just then we got called to dinner, and as we walked out dad saw me in those extra tight shorts, his eyes went wide as we sat at the table, but again, he didn't say a word. Mom however told us that right after dinner we would be having our hair set in rollers again. What a pain that was, sleeping in rollers. When mom was done with the rollers, I went into the bathroom, and for the first time, tried out my handy work. Thankfully everything worked just fine. In the morning, at Alicia's urging, I went in and filled the tub, and using her bubble bath, shaved every square inch of skin I could reach, which left my skin feeling tingly all over, and smooth as silk. In the privacy of the bath, I slipped on the panties, then went back in my room, only to see my sister standing there. "I was thinking, how you made yourself look like a girl down there? Well, those breast forms I have? They can be glued on, so I was wondering..." "Glued on? Why would I do that?' "So you don't have to wear that corselet all the time dummy!" "But this is just for today, and maybe tomorrow!" "Maybe, but wouldn't it make you feel more like a girl?" "Maybe, but..." "Great! I'll get the stuff we need!" I didn't say a word, and when Alicia was done, it really did look like I had breasts, and as I put the bra on, I realized that maybe she was right. Having breasts stuck to my chest probably would help me feel more like a girl. I got dressed, then Alicia did my makeup, and when we were ready, mom came in and fixed our hair. She didn't even notice that I wasn't wearing the corselet. When we were ready, dad drove us to the studio, led us inside, and then it began. There were a lot of kids there in all age groups, Alicia and in the 14 to 16 bracket. The same lady that took our names to begin with started calling names, and as everyone started to form a line.... "The Grant children?" "That's us," Alicia said. "I'm sure glad that she didn't call me by my real name! Hey! There's Bill and Bob Zonampert over there...look!" As we shuffled forward, the judges kept grading everyone, then it was our turn. Alicia and I walked up on stage, did our walk back and forth, then I saw the lady that took our names when we entered the contest whisper something to the other judges. I could guess what that was all about. As we walked off, Bob was waiting at the bottom of the steps. "Hi Alicia! I didn't expect to see you here!" "Hi Bob, this is Angela." He nodded at me, but he only had eyes for my sister, which was fine with me. I wandered away to find our parents, then waited for my sister to join us. About twenty minutes later the results were announced. There were about twenty pairs selected, Alicia and I one of them. So were Bill and Bob. With that part over, we left, but I thought we were going home. Mom said no, we were going to her beauty shop! "The party is tomorrow night, but I thinking, since every girl likes to get her hair done, now is a good time for that! Maybe we'll all get our nails done too!" "Mom," I said, but she once again ignored me, saying... "Don't be like that honey! All girls like to feel pretty on special occasions, especially for a big party, and a trip to the beauty shop is just what we need, so that's where we're headed right now! You're father will come get is in about an hour or so!" Damned if she didn't sound giddy! Trying to remind her that I was a boy was like pouring water on a duck; it didn't phase her in the least. She simply told me that for the moment, I was a girl, and she expected me to act like one! By the time we left the salon, I had my nails trimmed and filed, painted a soft red, my hair was cut and set in a girls style, and my makeup had been redone. Everything they did helped, I'll say that much, but it also made it harder for me to see the old me under it all. I was slowly turning into a girl, and since it didn't look like I had any way to escape my fate, I resigned myself to it. Alicia and I walked outside while mom paid the bill, my sister firmly holding on to my hand. "Angela, you look just fantastic!" "I'm your brother! Remember!?" "Well, yeah, of course I remember, but you look fantastic and you know it! So does Bill!" "That's just what I need!" "Maybe it is!" "I'm not like that Alicia!" "I know that, but he thinks you're a girl! He doesn't know who you are or anything! That's why we got invited to a picnic at their house this afternoon!" "Well, so what? I can't go!" "And why not? Just be the girl you look like and everything will be fine! Besides, you know mom won't let me go unless you do, so...please???? As a favor to me?" "It's just a picnic?" "That's what he said." "His folks will be there and all that?" "I'm sure they will be, why?" "Because if they are, then he won't try anything, that's why." "So...you'll go?" "You'll owe me so big you'll never be able to repay it Alicia!" "Great!" "What's great?" mom asked just then. "Mom, we got invited to a picnic this afternoon, and I'm thinking that Angela might need to get something to wear? Like shorts and top to match?" "A picnic! Such a nice day for it too! Well, as soon as your father gets here, we'll stop at the mall and see what we can find then." By the time we got home I didn't know whether to laugh or cry. Not only did mom get me a pair of shorts that fit, she made sure that I had better curves by getting me a gel padded pantybrief, a bra of my own as well as a package of panties! Dad stood by watching all this, not saying a word until we got home. "What the hell is going on here?! What I mean is, I thought this was just a simple contest! I didn't expect you to just go out and turn our son into a girl!" "Well, she made it through the first round didn't she? And it's not her fault she was invited to a picnic!" "Yeah dad, Angela didn't have anything to do with that!" "Be quiet Alicia," dad said angrily, "and what about that beauty shop thing? Just look at him! He looks like a girl now! If I didn't know that this was our son I would never know he was a boy!" "Isn't that the idea?" mom asked him brightly. "Didn't we all agree to try and win? And doesn't that mean that we have to do everything possible to make him look like a girl?" "Well, you've done that alright!" "Dad?" I asked timidly, "can I say something?" "Sure." "It's not that bad, what I mean is, it's not like I want to be a girl or anything, but..." "But what!?" "But I really don't mind I guess." "So, you like wearing dresses?" "It's not that dad, it's just not as bad as I thought it would be." "I thought you were all worried about your buddies seeing you like this!" "They already have dad, and they didn't know who I was!" That stopped dad dead in his tracks, and in that brief silence, Alicia grabbed my arm, and we went into her bedroom. She and I unzipped each others dresses, then I went into my bedroom and undressed to my underwear, then stepped into the padded brief before I pulled on the shorts and slipped the top over my head. The top was thin enough to let my bra show through, and the shorts fit me perfectly. White ankle socks, then my gym shoes before I changed my earrings to small gold hoops, my necklace for the thin gold chain with the teddy bear pendant and a tennis bracelet that I borrowed from my sister. More lipstick and some perfume, then I went into my sisters room. Like me, she wore shorts and a top. "If Bill hits on you, and I'm betting he will, just be nice." "Nice?" "Yeah, nice. Smile, laugh, be polite, say no." "Count on that!" "What you said to dad? Did you mean it?" "Huh?" "When you said it wasn't so bad? Dressing as a girl?" "I guess, why?" "Just wondering, that's all. You ready?" "I suppose." "Then lets get mom to take us over there!" It was Bill that met us as we got out of the car, and as we walked inside, dad was right behind us. He had told us we couldn't stay unless there were adults around! I'm still not sure if he was worried about my sister or me, and by the way he kept looking at me, I'm thinking it was me! He met their parents, then told each of us to be good, stressing it when he looked at me, then left. "So! You're a bad girl?" "Huh?" "I said, you must be a bad girl. Why else would your dad have looked right at you and told you to be good!" "It's not what you think Bill." "Oh, what then?" "Just forget it will you?" "Sure, if you say so. Want something to drink?" "Sure, thanks." I saw Alicia with Bob, they were sitting together at a table, so once I had my drink, I wandered that way, with Bill right behind me. I didn't know the first thing about how girls reacted around boys, so staying close to Alicia would, at the very least, give me some hints. As I sat down... "You two have to be related to be in the contest, what are you? Cousins?" "Sort of," my sister said, "we're related and can prove it, but we're not really close, as cousins I mean." "You sure look a lot alike," Bill said, almost like sisters!" "Yeah," I said, "everyone says that." "Oh! Look, Everyone else is coming in!" I turned, and my heart sank right into my feet. Almost all of my friends had shown up! I glanced at Alicia, who gave me the "be cool," sign. As they all got something to drink, the inevitable happened; they stopped by our table. My sister introduced me as Angela, and while I was nervous as hell, they all seemed to accept me as the girl I appeared to be. After all, they weren't looking for a boy dressed as a girl, so I managed to escape once again. Later, when Bill asked me to dance, I really wanted to say no, but I saw my sister nodding her head yes, which is why I let him take me into his arms and danced with him. The whole time I was virtually holding my breath, waiting for him to suddenly shout that I was a boy, but that didn't happen. After a bit I was able to loosen up a little, yet the constant sharp edge of the harsh truth kept biting into me as I waited for someone to figure it out. Only they never did, not even the girls, and they're usually pretty sharp about people. Bill never really strayed to far away from me, which had it's good points, like none of the other guys came too close. The down side was that he was forming an attachment to me! That much I figured out all by myself. By the time we went home, Bill was acting as if he had staked a claim on me, putting his arm around my waist and things like that. I did what I was told, I was polite, smiled, laughed at his bad jokes, and generally did my best, but that arm. That got to me. When we were home, I dragged my sister into my room and shut the door. "Did you see what he was doing?! He thinks I'm a girl!" "That was the idea wasn't it? I mean, you're the one that didn't want anyone to know who you were, and aren't you the one that did something to make yourself look like a girl? What's the problem? It's not like you're going to run away with him or anything, it's just a boy girl thing!" "Yeah, but..." "Angela, you have to face it! You're a girl now, everyone thinks so, so you might as well get used to it!" "I'm not a girl!" "But you look like a girl, and you know what? I think you're starting to like it!" "No!" "Oh yes you are! You were real proud of yourself when you made yourself look like a girl down there or you wouldn't have worn those tight shorts! And if you are so against it, why did you let me glue those boobs on? I think that you like the way you look, and I think that you're starting to like being a girl!" "Oh no! I only did that so that..." "You would look more like me?" I stared at the floor, wondering if she was right. "It's okay, being a girl I mean, and I like having a sister!" Alicia hugged me, then sat on the bed. "But the guys! If they ever found out..." "The guys, most of your friends anyway, have already seen you Angela, and trust me on this, the only thing on their tiny minds is how they are going to get into your pants!" I knew she was right, I recognized the look when I saw Bill staring at me. Alicia left, leaving me to think about what she had said. I knew that she was wrong, and to prove it I quickly undressed, but when I was naked I was staring at a boy without his manhood, sprouting boobs on his chest. My hair, cut and styled like a girls, full makeup and the scent of perfume suggested that becoming a boy right then was futile, but I pulled on my own jeans and a shirt anyway, then looked again. I looked like a girl in boys clothing. She was wrong about me wanting to be a girl, I didn't. I just didn't want to have any of the guys figure out that it was me dressing as a girl, and that was all it was! I stayed dressed the way I was until I went to bed that night, but once again the next morning, I had to get ready for the second elimination round. I decided during the night that if I had to look like a girl to protect myself, and in the process I could win ten grand, then I was going to go all out. That's why I took another bubble bath, then wrapped the corselet around myself and tightened it as much as I could stand. Then came the padded brief, then pantyhose and a bra, all before I went in to do my own makeup. After trying a few times on my own, I was very confident as I started with the foundation. Twenty minutes later I was back in my room, slipping the dress over my head and zipping it up. I stepped into the heels, ran a brush through my hair, and went down to have something to eat. Dad was at the table by himself. "You look nice," he said, "you're getting real good at this girl thing. Makes me wonder." "What?!" "If maybe you're starting to like this more than you let on." "It's for the contest dad, you know that! Besides, I've always said that I didn't want any of the guys to know who I was, and to do that, you know that I have to look like this!" "Then what was that all about? When the Zonampert boy walked you out to the car with his arm around your waist? You didn't seem to mind that!" "I was being polite, just like mom told me!" "Uh huh. So...why does it look like...your mother tells me that you have figured out how to look like a girl, which I know you showed us on purpose by wearing those tight shorts, so, I'm just wondering, does that mean that after today you'll be back to yourself, or can I expect to see you dressed like this?" "Not if they win today," mom said as she walked in. "If they win, there is one final cut two weeks from now, so of course, Angela will have to be there for that, and two weeks isn't that long! Besides, she can use the time to learn how to become even more feminine!" "I don't want my son to be more feminine!" "But you do want them to win?" "Well, yeah, but..." "Then it's settled! If they make it past this round, Angela will be here for the next two weeks!" "And I suppose that means you'll be spending more money for clothes!" "With only three pair of panties and one bra to her name, I would think so!" "This is getting way out of control, you realize that don't you?" "But it was your idea wasn't it? To have him fill in for Jenny?" "Yeah, but I never expected this!" "What?" "That he would look so...that he would have boys...everyone thinks he's a girl!" "But you know why! You don't want someone to find out that she is our son do you? That wouldn't do anyone any good at all! No. Angela will stay, providing that she and Alicia make it past this round!" Like I said before, mom was nothing if not firm, with the irritating ability to ignore everything she thought irrelevant, even if it meant that I would have to dress as a girl, possibly for another two weeks! She didn't ask me, she essentially told me and dad that was the way it was going to be! As I ate breakfast, I thought about those two weeks, and what would happen if I kept dressing as a girl. Each day I was getting in deeper and deeper, with no way out that I could see. Oh, I could have ripped off the clothes, but that would only mean that any chance to win big money would be gone, and it wasn't only me, there was my sister to consider. That left me caught between competing emotions, but the worst one was that I was beginning to doubt myself, and my...boyness. If they had asked me if I liked the way I looked, I would have said yes, and if they had asked me if I liked wearing skirts and dresses, I know in my heart that I would have been hard pressed to say no. The sad fact was that I was starting to like everything about being a girl, with makeup at the top of my list. It covered my freckles, let me accent my best features, and hide the rest. Not being able to stand up in the bath and having to wear a bra all the time wasn't so bad, and I even liked the way I looked in a short skirt. In effect, I was stuck, but was I really stuck, or was I starting, like my sister said, to like being a girl more than I was willing to admit. Since I had already decided to be as feminine as I could manage, just how far a leap was it for me to simply say that I liked being a girl? My parents had gone silent on the subject, so I rinsed my dishes, then went to my sister's room. I knocked, then went in. Alicia was just fastening her bra. "Hi!" she said lightly, "what's up?" "Sisters have secrets don't they?" "Sure, why?" "I have a secret." "Let me guess. You're starting to like being a girl, but you don't know how to tell anyone?" "Yeah," I said glumly, "I didn't expect this! Really, I didn't! It just...sort of happened! I'm thinking of quitting right now Alicia, the hell with the contest!" "Does anyone else know?" I shook my head no. "Then maybe it's not as bad as you think!" "It's getting there, dad is starting to get crazy about this, mom has gone off the deep end, and Bill has started to stake a claim on me! I'm going to quit before this gets real crazy!!" "But what about the contest?! What about me!?" I said nothing. "Maybe," she said, "what you need to do is decide just what it is that you want! You make a terrific looking girl, you already know that, and since all of the kids think so too, why quit?" "Because I'm...this is just to weird!" "What? That you like being a girl?" I nodded my head yes. "Then maybe we should do is find a way for mom and dad to find out, without actually telling them?" "How?" "I don't know, not now anyway, maybe Bill can help?" "Bill!? How can he help? He's the very last person I want to find out!" "Maybe... if he asks, you can go out on a date with him? Dad might freak out, but he would probably get the message, and if he doesn't, then do something only a girl would do!" "Like what?" "Let him see you kissing Bill?" Before I could say anything..."just how good is that thing you did to yourself?" "Pretty good I guess, why?" "Jenny hasn't seen you yet, so I was thinking that we could maybe go over there tomorrow." "Maybe, but she'll have to keep her mouth shut for sure." "I'll make sure she does, and Aunt Mary won't let her do anything stupid either." "I suppose, but I'm not kissing anyone just to make dad crazy!" "Just going out on a date might do it, if mom and dad would let you go that is!" "This is getting hard Alicia! It's okay for you to like guys, you're a girl!" "So? As far as anyone else is concerned, so are you! What's the problem with that?" "Nothing I guess, as long as it stays that way, but like I said, this is getting really tough Alicia!" "Come on. Lets start getting ready. The party is just a few hours away." We were not eliminated that afternoon, and stayed for the party that followed. Bill and Bob were eliminated, so my escort was a guy I didn't know from across town named Greg. He was a little older, but very nice, and didn't try any funny stuff. We got home about seven, and went straight in to change. I was down to my panties and bra when Alicia walked in, threw a nightgown at me, then walked out. Holding it up I could almost see through it, then I saw the matching panties on the same hanger, which gave me an evil yet fascinating idea. I quickly finished getting undressed, pulled the sheer yellow panties on, then slipped the nightgown over my head. It wouldn't take a genius to see that I had what looked like my own breasts, and with the way the panties fit, well, dad was going to get an eyeful! Maybe this would send the message I wanted, and I wouldn't have to kiss anybody. Just then Alicia burst through the door, wearing something almost identical to mine. "Ready?" "Yup!" I said with a grin, "Lets do it!" Obviously my sister had the same idea I did. Dad saw me alright. I knew because his eyes sort of narrowed, then went wide. But I was unable to do any more than stand there for a moment, because mom instantly had a fit, telling both of us to get a robe on. We both got chewed out by mom, then dad dragged me into my bedroom and shut the door. "I want this to end right now!" "But you heard mom! She won't let me!" "She would if you put up enough of a fuss about it, but you haven't done that, have you?" I said nothing. "I didn't think so! I'm beginning to think that you're not telling me something! Care to tell me how it is that you have boobs? Or how you managed the rest?! I mean, I can almost see through that thing you have on, and it certainly doesn't look like a boy under there!" "They're some breast forms that Alicia had. We sort of...glued them on, but they'll come off, honest! Here, I used tape to hold myself so that I could wear shorts and still look like a girl! It was for my own protection, being around boys and all!" "I don't care! I'm not ready to have you running around the house like...I want you to get rid of all this stuff and start being the son you are, not some...not a boy in a dress!" "But mom said..." "Dammit, I run this house, and I'm telling you to get back to being yourself! Now!" In the morning, before I went to eat, I removed the breast forms, tape, and nail polish, took a shower, then got dressed in my own clothes. It felt real strange wearing jeans, but after I brushed my hair back, I left my room, headed for the kitchen. When mom saw me she gasped and started to say something, but dad stopped her, saying that he told me to change, and said that was the end of my dressing up as a girl. Mom didn't like it, but she didn't fight dad, and I was left out of the discussion such as it was. My sister was clearly pissed at dad, and let him know it. She said that she liked having at least one person in the house she could talk to, called him an ogre, then stomped off, to call Jenny I guess. The minute I was done eating I went outside, grabbed my bike, and rode off. I had to get away from dad. He didn't do anything but confuse me. As I rode around, just the fact that I had something rubbing my legs felt different, not because I wasn't used to it, but because I found myself wanting to have bare legs, wear a skirt, have my hair in a ponytail, and maybe some makeup. I was gone about an hour before I got back home. When I went in, mom was sitting in her chair stewing, my sister was locked in her room, and dad was ignoring me, so I went to my room and went on line. I found tons of sites for boys that liked to dress as girls, most of them porn, but a few were really good, with lots of pictures, stories, cartoons, and helpful hints, but not one had anything to offer on how to tell a parent how you felt. Unlike many of the stories, there wasn't any medallion that I could use to make me a girl, my dad was angry because he figured out that I liked being a girl, and my mom was stymied by dad stubbornness. Being a boy that wanted to be a girl wasn't all fairy tales and roses, it was more like dungeons and nasty dragons, and I couldn't change that. I was looking at a site filled with pictures when dad came into my room. He looked at the screen, pointed at one picture, and I blew it up. It was a girl about my age, maybe a little older. Except she was a boy like me. The small bio said that her name was Janet, and she lived in our state. "You sure that's a boy?" "Yeah dad, they all are." "I didn't think there were that many boys that liked to dress as girls!" "There's a lot out there dad." "I see that." He stood there for a minute, then, "Can I assume that by seeing you looking at a website like this one, that you like dressing up as a girl?" When I looked up..."and tell me the truth." There was no way that I was going to tell my dad that I liked dressing as a girl, none, so... "It's okay I guess, and Alicia says that I'm good at it, so..." "You're good at it alright, maybe to good. A boy called here while you were gone, he wanted to talk to Angela. I told him you weren't here." "Who?" "Bill Zonampert." "Ah huh." "He asked if he could come over." "What'd you tell him?" "That you weren't here, but...that you would be back tomorrow." "Does that mean he's coming here? Tomorrow?" "No, it means he'll call tomorrow, but..." "You going to let me get dressed up again?" "Not until you tell me it's what you want, then...maybe." There it was. His ultimatum. Either I told him that I wanted to dress like a girl, or quit altogether, which probably included the final elimination round. The money was a factor, but it was also more than that. It was how I had begun to see myself, how I felt about what I thought I wanted, and other things that I couldn't put into words. "Why are you changing your mind dad?" "I'm not, but if you have boys calling you, then this is obviously a lot more than I thought it was! I thought you were just playing dress up to win a contest! I never thought that you would actually like it!" "I didn't either!" I cried, "It just happened! Honest!" "Yes, well," dad said, "I still don't like it one bit, but at least you have finally admitted that you like dressing up like a girl!" Dad paused a moment, then..."I can't imagine how that feels, wanting to dress that way..." "You should try it from the inside of a dress dad, it's not easy being scared all the time!" "I can imagine. But the fact remains that within a very short time you have managed to find a way to not only look, sound, and act like a girl, you have also managed to entice a young man enough that he called here! What do I do with that?! My son? Dressed as a girl, has boys calling him?" "But he doesn't know that I'm not a girl dad! And I didn't entice him!" "I'm sure. Now, if I decide to let you do this again, for a while anyway, just how far will it go? What I mean is, how much like a girl do you want to be, or plan, to get?" "If you let me? I guess I would do like I did before dad, I don't want any of the guys to know that I'm doing it, so I guess I would have to go all out! So they don't figure it out. I'd be dead meat if they ever found out dad!" "That I can understand! Okay then. Your mother and I talked this over, and I'm going to let you do this, for a while anyway, but she has made it clear, and listening to you, I have to agree. I think you don't have any choice but to be as much like a girl as possible, so after you're ready tomorrow morning, she is going to take you to as place and have them fix you up. Those things you borrowed from Alicia? Those boobs? They are out. You'll get different ones. Ones that are better suited for you, and fitted to your body. As far as the rest, you seem to have figured that out well enough, so do that too. You'll have three weeks to convince me that I'm doing the right thing. If not, you're out of dresses for good. Is that clear?" "Yes sir!" "Try not to sound so excited. It gives me a headache to think that I agreed to this." The minute dad left the room I dug out the breast forms, then headed for the bath and started to get ready. I did not get dressed up in any way that night, but in the morning I showed up in a skirt and blouse, pantyhose and makeup, my hair brushed out in a flip of sorts. My sister, who did not know about my arrangement with dad, was suitably shocked, but when mom and I started to leave, she couldn't understand why she couldn't go. All mom would say was that it was "my day", and left her standing there pouting as we left. Mom didn't say much to me, only that dad was disappointed at finding out that I liked what I was doing. "He can't understand why you like this dressing up so much honey. He's confused and a little angry, but when that boy called, well, he went right off the deep end. He thinks that you're...encouraging the boy that called. He thinks that by making you, or maybe giving you this time, you'll see just how crazy this is and give it up. What do you say?" "He's confused? I'm the one that's confused mom! But maybe he's right mom, I just don't know yet. All I know is that I don't mind dressing as a girl, and in some ways, it's fun! Alicia and I are closer than ever before, you treat me better, and with makeup I can hide the freckles! I...it's just...different mom!" "I can just imagine! But, he and I both agree on one thing, if we're going to let you do this, even if it is for a short time, you have to be as perfect as possible, which is why we're having you custom fitted with breast forms of your own. That way you can feel more natural, and at the same time, look and feel like a girl your age would. We are not going to let you start school as a girl, but for a while anyway, you'll be able to try this on a more...intense level. Who knows? Maybe you were meant to be a girl and are just now finding out!" "Mom! I never said that I wanted to be a girl!" "Yes, we know that, but what are we to think when you have boys calling the house, you show up in a nightgown that makes it seem like you have...well, you know. Ah! There it is!" It happened quickly. Once my blouse and bra were removed, the lady made two selections, tried each one, then glued a pair of boobs to my chest and used some kind of seam concealer. I got dressed, mom paid the bill, and we left, all in a little over an hour. My breast size had gone from a double A to an A cup, and the added weight felt strange, yet somehow comforting. Mom took me to get three more bras and more panties, then straight to her salon where my arms and legs were waxed and my nails redone. On the way home... "Tell me, have you kissed this boy that called?" "Mom! No! I wouldn't..." "You say that, but I'm starting to get worried about you! You say that none of your friends recognized you, which is good I guess, but that also means that they all think that you're a girl, and they all know that girls like boys! This boy that called? He obviously thinks you're a girl, so what's to stop him from trying to..." "Me!" "We'll see about that, won't we?" By the time we got home I was almost used to having heavier, rounder, fuller breasts, and walked in the house with my chest stuck out to flaunt them. Alicia and Jenny were sitting at the kitchen table when we walked in. Jenny took one look, then glanced at Alicia, a question mark on her face. She didn't recognize me! Then I saw her eyes go wide as she realized that I had to be Angela. "Hi," I said as I sat down, "I'm Angela." "Damn! Jeff? Is that really you?" "My name is Angela," I said sweetly, "who's Jeff?" Nobody said a word, then Alicia burst out laughing, which told Jenny who I was. Her eyes said it all though, she knew, but she wasn't sure. "If you girls want, you can use the pool, Alicia has several swimsuits, and I'm sure that you can each borrow one..." "Great! Lets all go to my room and get changed!" Jenny and I followed my sister into her room and watched as she started rummaging through her stuff looking for extra swimsuits. She threw one at me, a green one, then a white one at Jenny. Without even thinking about it, I unbuttoned my blouse and took it off, then started to release my bra when I saw Jenny staring at me. "What?" I asked. "Nothing," she said slowly, "it's just...nothing... never mind." I tossed my bra on the bed, which is when they both saw what looked like breast that were all my own. My skirt was next, then with a single move, I pulled down my panties, pantybrief, and pantyhose, turned, and grabbed the suit. I stepped into it and pulled the straps over my shoulders while both Jenny and Alicia watched. "Damn girl! I thought..." "She's good, isn't she?" "I'll say!" "You two going to change or what?" I stood there as they both undressed then put on a suit. Before that moment, I might have had typically male reaction, seeing two naked girls like that, but that didn't happen. Either I was already to far gone, or my tape job was working better than I thought it would. The three of us ran through the house and straight into the pool, staying in the water for a long time. Both Jenny and my sister had a lot of questions, but it was almost twenty minutes before they asked. "Those boobs of yours," Jenny asked, "they're not yours...are they?" "They're mine," I said, "I got them this morning!" "You sure don't look like a boy, that's for sure, not anywhere!" "You can't tell anyone who she really is Jenny, if you do some of the guys might not like it and beat her up, so keep this to yourself, okay?" "Yeah, but who would believe me?! I didn't even know for sure, not at first anyway! I even saw her naked, and well, she sure looked like a girl to me!" "This is only for a few more weeks' I said, "then I'm going back to being myself, so..." "Yeah! Right," they both said together. "No way Angela!" my sister said, "you like being a girl way to much to give it up!" "Shut up Alicia! I'm not going to stay like this!" "You say that now, but what about Bill? I'll bet he changes your mind!" "Bill?" Jenny asked, "Zonampert? Tall, husky, blond hair, cute as hell? That Bill?" "Yeah," Alicia said excitedly, "he has a crush on Angela!" Just as I was about to say something, mom walked out, and right next to her were the two Zonampert boys. Bill was staring at me while Bob was looking right at my sister. Jenny, Alicia and I got out of the water and we each grabbed a towel. "The boys just stopped by," mom said gaily. "I'll get you all something to drink." Shaken, I ignored the nudge I got from Alicia, and sat next to her rather than next to Bill. Having seen me in a swimsuit, there was no way he would ever guess who I really was, yet it was all I could think about. The guys asked me and Alicia out, and before I could say a word, she ran in the house and asked if it was okay! Mom said it was, and I had my very first confirmed date with a boy, to go to a show at seven that night! I was pissed that Alicia did that, but had to smile as though it was the very thing I wanted most in the world. The guys left, promising to be back at seven. "Why did you do that! You knew that I didn't want to go out on a date!" "But I do, and mom said it would only be okay if we went together!" "Great. Now I have to chance it with Bill!" "Calm down," Jenny said, "it's not like you're going to sleep with him! It's just a movie!" "But he'll want to kiss me!" "So?" "So!? I'm a boy! Remember?" "But he thinks you're a girl, and girls can kiss boys!" "I won't!" "We'll see." I wore the sheath dress with the scoop neck and flats while Alicia opted for a skirt and blouse. The guys picked us up, and later, after the show, we stopped to get a burger. When we were back in front of our house, I saw Bob and Alicia kissing, so I knew that I was done for. I had to do it. Bill touched my face, and when I turned, he kissed me, not once, but three times, sticking his tongue in my mouth! I got out of the car and ran in the house, with my sister right behind me. I was in my room in a flash, stripping off the clothes, then I removed the tape holding myself down and the breast forms. After a quick shower, I went to bed. The next day Angela was gone and Jeff was back. Alicia was shocked, dad looked ecstatic, and mom confused, but I did not offer any explanation of any kind, not until mom called me out on the deck for a talk. "What happened last night?" "He kissed me." "Was it that bad?" "Mom! I'm a guy! Guys don't kiss guys!" "Did he give you any indication that he thought you were a boy?" "No, but..." "But what honey? Did it scare you?" "Hell yes it scared me! I told you that I wasn't attracted to guys, but you and Alicia seemed to keep forcing me into situations that didn't leave me any choices! I only did this for that contest, remember? I never said that I liked guys mom!" "Yes, I understand that, but you have also made it abundantly clear that you like dressing as a girl haven't you?" Mom waited for an answer, didn't get one, so..."Honey, it was never my intention to embarrass you, I just got carried away I guess, but you have to face facts! If you're going to dress up as a girl, then you'll just have to get used to having boys around! You can't possible expect them to leave you alone, not when you look so nice, isn't that right? And if that's true, and we both know it is, why are you so upset? Is it because...did you like it? Is that it? He kissed you, and you found out it wasn't as bad as you thought?" I just could not bring myself to admit that she might be right. I knew that as a girl I looked okay, and while I knew that virtually nobody knew who I really was, I was having a terrible time accepting the fact that a guy, in this case Bill, would find me attractive enough to ask out! That, plus the fact that I didn't mind dressing up was causing all the heartache! Getting kissed on the lips did not make me tingle in excitement, it made me tingle in fear, which is why I had quickly removed all traces of Angela. I wanted to find out for myself why I felt like I did, and it had nothing at all to do with Bill, getting smacked on the lips or any of that. It was the catalyst, but I had to find out why I liked dressing as a girl so much. That's the reason I was myself again. I was determined not to get dressed up again until I had to! That way I would know for sure, and I had almost two weeks to find out. I generally stayed out of sight, just so nobody could add things up and peg me as Angela, which was fine with dad, because he was getting real concerned about me. I lasted about four days as a guy when it happened. That morning as I went to get dressed, I opened the closet and saw the clothes hanging there. My clothes. The dresses, skirts and blouses, then the faint aroma of perfume hit me. It was like a wave hitting me, and I had an uncontrollable urge to get dressed again. I slammed the door shut, only to see myself in the mirror. Skinny with long hair that still showed the effects of being brushed like a girl would do hers, and the freckles I hated. My boy toy was barely big enough to be worth it, and on my chest I still bore the remnant marks of the breast forms. Lashing out, I kicked the door, which only made me howl in pain, and I fell on the bed wondering what the hell was going on! Was I a just boy, or was I a boy that liked being a girl, probably more than I wanted to admit? I lay there for a long time, going over every minute that I had been dressed as a girl, what I had done, how I looked, what I had seen, and how people had reacted around me. I knew that I looked real nice as a girl, mom told me I had the face for it, I had seen my sister and Jenny naked, which should have been really good but wasn't, then there was Bill. The way he looked at me gave me the creeps at first, but he was nice, and I found myself unwilling to go against being the girl he saw versus what I knew I really was. Then he kissed me, and I quickly abandoned Angela, as if dressing as a girl was akin to the plague, only something inside was telling me that I had to get dressed up again, then go out and be the girl I knew I could be. It was hard, laying there like that, thinking thoughts that I knew would cause my dad more heartache, and more probably than not cause me trouble too, so I got up and slipped on my jeans and a tee, then went outside to get some fresh air. Just as I started down the driveway, saw Bill walking down the sidewalk towards our house, and quickly went the other way, hoping he didn't see me and wouldn't follow me. From the next corner I watched as he rang the bell, talked to someone, probably mom, then leave. Only when he was out of sight did I go back home. I had to know who he asked for, but in my heart I knew. He wanted to see Angela, who was me, only she wasn't available. I knew that my dilemma had nothing to do with Bill, it was all about how I felt about me. Bill was just adding to the dilemma, not causing it. As I went in the house, mom saw me, smiled, and waved me into the kitchen. "That nice young man of yours was here to see you, but I told him you would be gone for a few days. Come sit down a minute." Once I sat down..."Ever since you decided not to be Angela, you've been moody, angry almost all of the time, you're yelling at all of us, and we all heard you slamming doors this morning! You know what I think?" "What?" "I think, and your father, while he hates it, agrees with me, we both think that you found out you like being a girl, and because of that you have somehow you have managed become more...feminine, like a real girl! We've all seen this gradually happening for the last few weeks! The way you were talking and acting, it was like seeing Jenny and your sister here all the time! Then just because that young man kissed you, you go and stop! That's why we think that maybe you're angry at yourself. Maybe because you found out that you like being a girl more than you thought you would? As if being angry, yelling at us, and slamming doors will make that feeling go away! I agree that I might have gone to far with this, pushing you to do things you weren't ready for, and I want you to know that if you say it's over, then it'll be done, no matter what else happens, but I want you to face the truth, whatever it is...honestly, okay?" Mom sat there looking at me, then..."I also think that you want to get all dressed up again, but are afraid of what we might do, or maybe even say about it. If you do get all dressed up again, all I have can say is that we won't say a word about it, but before you do, then you'll have to decide what it is that you really want! Think of it like this. Say you do get all dolled up, but decide to do it only once in a while. How long will it be before someone, one of your friends figures out who you really are? All it would take is one of them to stop by when you're all dressed up or not, depending, and what would happen then? Then you would have to face all of your friends, who might not like seeing you all dressed up quite as much as you like it. Finding out that you like dressing as a girl might drive them away, or maybe they wouldn't accept you as a friend any more! Right now they all know you as Angela, and haven't made the connection have they? What I mean is, if you do get dressed up again, you'll have to think about what you're going to do. Stay dressed as a girl for a long time, be extremely careful when you are dressed up, or maybe quit all together, which we don't think you can do. Either way, this can't to be your decision alone, whatever you decide on, your father and I have to agree, okay?" I didn't say a word, getting up and going to my room. I could hear Alicia and a friend in her room, giggling and goofing off, so I turned up the radio to drown them out. Flopping into my chair, I thought about what mom said. If I did become Angela again, she said she expected that I would keep dressing as a girl, "for a long time". But how long was that? Two weeks? A month? Until school started? I had heard what some of the guys talked about in school, about how they got into a girls pants, or how she did something else for them. Personally, I couldn't imagine the second, and the first was out of the question; besides, I doubted any of them ever did anything with a girl, at least when she was even in the same room. I think it was all their imagination and vivid dreams, but if the guys were thinking about it, and I was a girl, or they thought I was, how long would it be before they started looking at me like that? And if I did become Angela again, then I would almost certainly have to face Bill again, and after having kissed him once, how long could I put him off? Worse, would he have dreams of me doing those things for him? It was a mess of the first order, without any easy way out, which left me no better off then before! At least, before mom said it was okay for Angela to return, I had my worry to accompany me, not the fear and doubt that was descending on me right then. Opening the closet door, I stood there a moment, then took a dress from the hanger and buried my nose in the soft material. I breathed in the scent that lingered there, which triggered every one of my senses. I could almost taste the lipstick, smell the makeup, feel the satin on my skin, hear the soft laugh of a girl, and I could not help but to see myself as a girl once again. With a sigh, I hung the dress back in the closet and shut the door. Just then my bedroom door popped open and Alicia walked in, shutting the door behind her. "Are you all done pouting?" "I wasn't pouting." "Yeah, okay, if you say so, but listen, we've been invited to a birthday party. Janice is turning 15, and her folks are throwing a huge party for her. It's on Saturday, which gives you four whole days to get your ass in gear and get ready! I'm going, I told Janice that you would be there too, and mom has agreed to let us both get new outfits, and if you're up to it, another trip to the beauty shop." I said nothing. "Come on! I know you liked the salon, and I know that you like being a girl, and besides, it'll be a chance for you to look just as good, maybe better, than ever!" "Bill kissed me!" "Yeah, I saw, but what's the problem? We both know that you like being a girl, you look fantastic, and so far, not one person has figured out who you really are! Getting kissed isn't the end of the world you know, it's just being a little more friendly to some guy that spends his money to take us somewhere!" Alicia took my hands in hers and pulled me to the bed. "Angela is still here, isn't she? I think you're still fighting her because you found out you like being a girl so much!" "But," I almost cried, "if I go to this party, everyone we know is going to be there! Then what? How can I face them when we go back to school, especially if they see Bill and I together, with him probably trying to kiss me?! It'll be worse than anything I can imagine! The guys'll never let me forget it, and that's probably not all that'll happen!" "You're kidding, right? Just how are they going to find out? You going to tell them?" "Hell no!" "Well then, how would they find out? I mean, both Jenny and I have both seen you naked, and we can truthfully say that! We can also truthfully say that we did not see the one thing that even remotely says you're a boy! If Jenny and I both swear to that, which wouldn't be a lie by the way, then how is anyone going to say other wise?" Alicia sat back on her elbows and grinned at me. "Besides, and tell me the truth, how bad was it to get kissed by a hunk like Bill anyway?" "Scary." 'Why? Because it was your first kiss? Or was it because you liked it?" I said nothing of course. "You think about it, but I'm telling you right now that I intend to have my...sister, not my cousin, Angela with me when I go to the party! The only thing you have to do is quit pouting and just accept the fact that you're real cute as a girl, and get over trying to make me believe that you don't like being treated like one!" Alicia got up off the bed, patted my knee, then walked out, leaving more confused than ever! She insisted that she was going to the party with "her sister," which meant, since everyone knew that she only had a brother, that Angela, me, had to be her brother! Once again I had a severe case of doubt wash over me. If I went, and Alicia told everyone that I was her "sister", then there would be no going back. I would have to be a girl from then on, because I wouldn't have any choice, except maybe complete and total shame when I went back to school! I was pretty sure that mom was right when she said that the kids could accept me as either a girl or a boy, but not a boy during the week and a girl on the weekends. That's what made attending this particular party so important, especially of I went as Angela! I was torn between wanting to get all dolled up again and what would happen if I did. The whole thing was in a snarl, from how the guys were looking at me and how I felt about that, how I felt about myself as a girl, and of course being treated like one by the guys, especially Bill. Then of course there was the reaction I was going to get from my dad. Alicia's obvious desire to have a sister, and how easily mom had gone off the deep end merely compounded the problem. If I knew my sister as well as I thought I did, once I got dressed up again, she would tell our parents that she was going to say I was her sister, and if mom was true to form, she would take that to mean that I wanted to be a girl and set out to make sure that I didn't own any boy clothes at all! I lay there a little longer, then I heard the phone ring. A few minutes later... "ANGELA! It's for you!" Picking up the phone..."Hello?" "Hi! It's me! Bill!" "Oh! Hi." "You going to Janice's party?" "There it was, decision time. Go or not, change or stay. "I just found out about it, why?" "I was wondering, could I take you?" "Alicia and were going to go together, and I'd have to ask, but..." "Great! I'll call later? You can let me know then?" "Sure, later." "Great! Bye!" "Bye." I had settled the issue, but when dad called me by the name Angela and hollered that the phone was for me, mom's excuse that I was going to be gone for a few days went right out the window, and of course, by answering it, I had accepted the role of Angela once again, probably for the very last time. I was sure that I would never be faced with the same choice ever again, because in my heart, I knew that once I changed, got another trip to the salon, and added all the padding, Angela was going to stay. It was an irresistible force that was drawing me inward, and I couldn't see any other way. I had seen a site on the Internet that sold a kind of panty that would let boys become girls, and for something to do, I had filled out the form, figuring out what I wanted, what color and so on. That's when I decided that if I were going to be a girl, then I was damned well going to be as much a girl as I could be! I went to find dad, got his credit card without telling him what I was buying, then went on line and ordered one, asking for expedited shipping. If I were lucky, I would get it on Friday. Then I went to see Alicia. She and I had a lot to talk about, all of it private. I had to know if any of the stories the guys were telling were true, although I doubted it. To my shock, she said that two of her friends had used their hands to "help," their boyfriends! Giggling, she told me that both Kelly and Megan had not minded doing it, and each had thought about doing it again! "They said it was a little gooey, but not bad, why are you asking about this? You thinking of "helping Bill?!" "No! It's just that some of the guys, well, they talk, and some of them say they got into a girls pants, or the girl...did something else, and it wasn't using their hand either! I'm not going to do any of that!" "Those guys are just dreaming Angela! Other than a hand job, I don't know one girl that has done anything else! We're not whores you know!" "Yeah, I know that. It's just..." "So! You going to the party? Who called?" "Bill. He wants to take me to the party." "Well!? What'd you tell him!?" "That I would ask." "You little devil! You weren't going to say anything, were you?" "Why? So you could rag me from now 'til then?" "I wouldn't do that," she started, then broke out giggling! "What's so funny?" "You! Kerry has been trying to get Bill's attention since we were in fourth grade, and here you come, and whammo! He's falling all over himself to be with you!" "Yeah, but it wasn't my idea, remember?" "So, what are you going to have done at the salon?" "I don't know yet, but whatever it is, I promise you, it'll be good!" "I'll bet! You getting changed tonight?" "Nah, in the morning." That night after dinner I got mom alone and told her what I wanted to do at the salon, if it was possible, then I asked her if Bill could take me to the party. When I got a yes on both and no lecture, I went back to my room to check on my order. For the next two days I was Angela again, but stayed home, not leaving the house. On Friday when my package came, I rushed to my room, shut and locked the door, and opened the box. It took me about an hour to read the instructions, get it on right, then use the seam concealer, but it was worth the wait. There was no sign that I was, or ever had been, a boy! Rounded hips with a slightly bigger butt, and a curving front that terminated at a small slit surrounded in dark hair. It even felt like skin, and the gel filled padding on the hips and just over my new pubes felt just like a normal body! I pulled on my panties, and saw that my days in a padded pantybrief were over, and better, my panties fit me just like Alicia's fit her! I put the bra on, then opened the door so I could slip into her bedroom, running right into dad! He and I locked eyes for a moment, then he looked down and saw the way I looked, including modest cleavage, and of course, the way my panties fit. I shoved past him and went into Alicia's room and shut the door, panting hard. He was the very last person that I wanted to find out what I had done. My sister wasn't there, so I quickly grabbed some shorts and a top, put them on, then left her room and went to the kitchen where I found mom and Alicia sitting. "Something happen dear?" "No mom, I'm fine." "You have that look again, like you just got the best present ever. What's going on?" "Nothing mom, honest!" "Okay, if you say so. You two clean the kitchen today. Take out all the dishes, wipe the cupboards, drawers, everything. I want this kitchen spotless before you even think about going anywhere." Our task wasn't that hard, and we finished in about four hours, but Alicia knew something was up, she could always sense it, and was relentless in trying to find out. As we went to clean up, she went in her room and I went in mine. I changed into a skirt and clean top. She and I were in the familyroom when the doorbell rang, and I went to see who it was. Opening the door, I briefly saw Bill, then nothing but a blur followed by stars. "You're not a girl! You're Alicia's brother!" He was all over me in a flash. He hit me in the face a few times, then the stomach, which threw me to the floor. I was bleeding and dazed, unable stop him as he ripped my top off, then slipped his hand under my skirt and yanked my panties down. I saw the look of horror on his face the moment he saw that I looked like a girl, and I managed to roll over on my face in shame. My dad heard the commotion and came running, only to see my skirt pulled up and that I was naked from the waist down, bleeding from the face, and a shocked Bill standing over me, his fists still balled up. Dad grabbed Bill by the collar and literally threw him right out the front door. I actually heard him land on the sidewalk in fact. Dad told me to lay there. "You alright?" "Yeah, I think so," I said through the blood, "how bad is it?" "How does it feel?" "Ugly." "That's how a bloody nose looks. Get to your room and clean up. I think that Bill and I are going to have a short talk, and I don't think he's going to like it." Dad stormed out of the house just as Alicia ran in the room. Seeing me laying there bleeding, she helped me up, then into the bath. Once I washed away the blood I saw that I had a broken nose, a chipped tooth, and I was going to have one really ugly shiner. As Alicia helped me get the bloody clothes off, that's when she found out that I had managed to look like her. My panties had disappeared into shredded pieces when Bill yanked them off, leaving me covered only by the skirt. My sister sucked in her breath but did not say a word, only helping me get some clean clothes on. By the time we went to find out what happened to Bill, it was all over. Dad had him by the collar as two cops stood there listening. One of the cops saw me, and waved us outside. One look was all it took for the cops to arrest Bill. As they put him in the car... "Looks like he worked you over pretty good honey. You should go to the hospital," the cop said. "I'll see that she gets to our doctor." Dad was adamant about that. "Fine. We'll call the young man's parents, then he'll have to post bond before he can get out. You'll be notified when we'll need your statement." Bill looked scared as they drove away, then dad turned to me, told me to get in the car, which both Alicia and I did. Our family doctor insisted that I get a full examination just as mom showed up. With her in the room, she demanded that I get undressed, which is when mom also saw my new panty. The doctor immediately recognized that it was a panty, and looked at mom with a question on her face... "It's complicated," she said with a sigh, then sat down. Mom told him how it was all her fault, about the contest, and how she was positive that I had found out that I wanted to be a girl. Pointing at my breast forms and the panty, she made her point without getting into the fact that she knew nothing about the panty. The doctor, who had been our family doctor since I was a baby was a woman about 50 I think, sat there listening, then she checked me over. I needed to have my nose reset and I would have to wear an ice bag for a few days, but the doctor told me that I was okay. "Tell me. Is your mother right? That you want to be a girl? It looks to me as if she's right, given that exquisitely made panty and those wonderfully life like breast forms you have on." "Well..." "Tell her Angela." "Yeah, okay, I found out that I like being a girl." "And that young man that beat you up? Is he involved in this decision you've come to?" "No! I'm not interested in boys, not like that anyway!" "Maybe, but I'm willing to bet that he is very interested in you! If he wasn't, he would not have been so angry, would he?" "Yeah, well..." "Well nothing," The doctor said a bit quickly, "either you want to be a girl and accept everything that means, or you don't! It's really quite simple, and I think you already know that, don't you?" I said nothing, not sure if I should, but the doctor was right. I knew that by accepting the fact that I liked being a girl, I would have to accept everything about being a girl, not just the parts I liked. "Mom?" "I think that the doctor is right Angela, and given what happened to you just a few hours ago, I think it's time that you told us what it is that you really want. That way we can maybe help you through this." We were there for what seemed like hours, the doctor masterful at eliciting every shred of my story from beginning to end, how I felt, my fear about discovery, and my total denial of what being a girl actually meant. It was clear that just wearing the clothes and a bit of acting wasn't all of it, there were boys to consider, other girls, our family and of course myself, all thrown into the mix. My dad viewed women as being somehow less than a man, almost equal but not quite, my mom was close to defining ditzy, my sister seemed eager to have a sister, and Bill, who had at first been drawn to me had become violent. The biggest thing though was my own intransigent attitude, failing to grasp the fact that if I wanted to be a girl, I would have to accept everything that meant, not just the fun part. I could not envision myself doing things with a boy, the things they bragged about, but the lure of my feminine side kept pushing that aside. Finally the question came. "I need," the doctor said, "for you to tell us what it is that you want Angela. I can't do a thing for you unless I know exactly what it is that you want." It was like truth or dare. Jump, or stay safe on solid ground. I looked at mom who just sat there, also anxious to hear what I wanted to do. If I said that I wanted to be a girl, I had no idea what either mom or the doctor would do, but if I said that I would remain a boy, well, my days in a dress would come to a screeching halt. The dilemma was that while I was still unsure of my feminine self, I knew in my heart that I wanted to be a girl. I liked it, plain and simple. Drawing myself upright on the examining table... "I want to be a girl," I said quietly, "a real girl." "I see. Well, okay, I think we can manage that, but it's going to take a long time, maybe as long as three years Angela; we cannot operate until you turn 18, but I can help you with the rest, if, and only if, both of your parents sign waivers agreeing to this. This is not something to be taken lightly Angela, it's a complex, lengthy, and possibly expensive procedure." "Can this expense be...does it have to be paid all at once?" Mom sounded concerned. "Oh no! In fact, your medical coverage will pay for some of it, maybe even most of it. Time is the issue here, not the money. If I started her on hormones today, it might take as long as six months to a a year for her body to completely develop, so she would have the body of a girl her own age. That means breasts, hips, loss of muscle mass, smooth skin and so on." I took the shot of antibiotics, made another appointment, then mom and I left to see our dentist. My tooth was fixed but I still looked like I had gone a few rounds with a gorilla, my shiner only getting uglier as time went on. When we got home, mom took dad into the kitchen, telling me not to interfere. In my room I looked in the mirror, seeing the mess I was, knowing that there was no way I was going to go to some party looking like that. I was a mess, both physically and mentally. I had given up all rights to manhood when I said that I wanted to be a real girl, yet I still had lingering doubts, wondering if I said the right thing. I undressed and went in the shower, hoping that the hot water would drive away those doubts. As I soaped up and began to wash, my hand went between my legs, the smoothness of the panty and the thin slit that defined what I had said I wanted to be felt natural, not just a panty, but actually part of my body. I pushed and my finger slipped up inside of the panty. Shocked at what I had done, I yanked my hand away and stood there quivering. If I could put my finger inside of the panty, that meant that...I pushed that thought out of my mind and rinsed off, ignoring the urge to explore some more. Wrapped only in a towel I went back in my room to get dressed just as mom knocked and walked in. Shutting the door, she sat on the bed. "I know what you said, but tell me again." "I want to be a girl mom. I never in a million years expected I would say that...it just happened!" "I know honey. We all know that. Your father has agreed to let you do this Angela, but he wants to talk to you alone, so put some clothes on and go see him. He's on the patio." With no make up, my hair still damp, wearing shorts and a top, I walked out to face my father. He was sitting at the table staring out into the yard. I sat next to him. "You know how I feel about this, you know I do not like what you're doing, don't you? But now that you've had your clothes ripped off by that kid, and he saw what he thought was a girl, you have a real problem. We all do! He also knows that he broke your nose and gave you a shiner, so if I make you give up this nonsense, how will you explain those injuries? The same injuries that "Angela," has?!" Dad paused, then..."I'm surprised that you accepted this being a girl thing so easily, I thought that you weren't like that!" "I didn't either! It sort of hit me all at once! You know that I'm...that I've never been...never done this before!!" "Yes, well, that's water under the bridge isn't it? What I mean is, I'm having a real problem letting you play dress up like this! It's unnatural, but if I force the issue, how can you go back to being yourself without getting beaten up again? That kid will know that he was right, and look what he did already!" Taking a chance, I said..."The doctor said that she can make me into a real girl. She said it might take as long as a year, but...." "But what? Are you telling that's what you want to do? Let the doctor change you into a girl?" "Yeah, I guess." "No guessing. Yes or no." "Yes," I said softly, driving the last nail into my future with a bang. "Alright," dad said, "now that we have that out of the way, we'll not discuss it again. I know that this was a surprise for both of us, but now that you've made your choice, I don't want to see you wearing anything but girls clothes from now on, no matter what. You will follow the same rules we set for Alicia, and when you start back to school, you'll go as a girl. I'll see about the paperwork, but I'll expect...no, I demand that you make every effort to be as much a girl as your sister, is that clear?" "Yes sir." Bill was fined a hundred dollars and had to do 40 hours of cleaning the highways, and his parents had to reimburse us for the medical bills, while I sank even deeper into learning how to be a girl. Alicia and I did not win the contest, placing third, which meant that we split $3000. The doctor started me on the drugs, but not one thing happened by the time school started. Most of the kids had heard about what had happened to me, so they all accepted me as a girl, especially after my sister spread the word that Bill had actually stuck his hand in my panties. Being around my sister was nothing like being in a school full of girls, believe me! Mom had agreed to let me dye my hair blond before Bill attacked me, so when I started school, I was a blond, and looked less like the old me than ever before. I did not date at all, only going out in groups, mostly because I was still afraid. Then of course, mom decided that like all girls, I would have to use the same sanitary items she and Alicia did! That was an interesting discussion, but like always, I gave in to her demands. I saw Bill once in a while, but he kept his distance, so we never again spoke. Towards the end of the year my body began to change, my breast tingled, my hips began to fill out, and I was losing body hair. In every way but one I was a girl, but that didn't matter because nobody was going there but me and my doctor. Like all girls, I had to take gym, but nobody saw anything they didn't expect. I joined the cheerleaders, which led to my meeting Greg. Shy, I know it was all he could do just to ask me to be his date for the prom, but I accepted his offer, my first real date. After that prom I never again felt out of place, Alicia and I grew even closer, and my dad and I finally worked out our differences. He turned out to be a great big teddy bear, and I learned how to twist him around my finger to get what I wanted. By the start of my final year in school, I no longer wore breast forms, and had to order a new panty, one without the extra padding. I wore that one until I turned 18. I still remember every one of those traumatic events that led me to where I am today, yet they all helped me become the woman I am today. I moved from being a scared little boy in a dress through every stage of fear and doubt, working hard to convince those that loved me the most that however strange it was, it was the right thing for me to do, and I experienced a beating both physically then mentally as I groped to find out if I were right or not. It's not fun to go through life being scared, but maybe it was worth it. That same fear helped me become the confident, self assured woman I am today, and as my father and I stand there together, I can hear the sounds of the organ starting, confident that I did the right thing. It's time. Greg is waiting at the front of the church, a grin on his face. Maybe it's fear, possibly lust, but if it is fear, I'll help him get over it. I'm sure that I know how to do that.