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Girlhood by Mistress-X Author's Note: Hey everybody, been a long time. So I got it into my head to start writing again, and I had a story so here we are. It turned into the longest thing I've ever written. It's more of a slice of life, stream of consciousness, sort of thing than a single rigid plot which might explain how it got away from me. It is set in a world I have written in before, but never published, so I might have gone a little overboard with the exposition here and there. Anyway, it was fun working on a project again, and I might just do more after this. Let's find out. Eli was face down on the table when she found him, his nose buried in his arms. She'd have thought he was passed out drunk if it weren't 11:00 in the morning. She put her purse down on the table and pulled out the little powder coated iron chair. "G'morning Little Bro," she said as she sat down and placed her hands in her crossed lap. "Hi Jackie," Eli said, enunciating just enough to be made out through the muffling of his arms and the table. "It's a beautiful day out here you know? Why don't you come out and see it?" she teased. Eli looked up with a clearly judgmental leer. His eyes were dry but still red and puffy enough that a lack of tears wasn't hiding anything. "There's my baby bro," she smirked. "Why'd I pick this place?" he asked, dropping his head back onto the table hard enough to make a muffled thud. "They're not even serving alcohol." "It's not even lunchtime yet Eli. Not a lot of places are this time of day. It's not healthy," she leaned down on her elbows. "Still," she pendulumed her grey-blue eyes from smoky corner to smoky corner. "It's a pretty cafe." "I wanna die," Eli said directly. "My life is over." "Now I know you don't think you're a spring chicken," she said. "but I think you're still just a little young to be having a mid-life crisis." Eli looked back up at her. "You cried when you turned thirty." "And you're choking back tears for a two timing wh... hussy," she retorted. "She's my wife Jackie!" "She was a college fling who you put a ring on," Jackie huffed as she leaned back in her chair and crossed her arms snugly beneath her breasts. "She's the mother of my son," he snarled, teeth gritted. "Oh please," Jackie frowned. "She ran out on you AND Avery. She's not winning any mother of the year awards. Hell, I'm more of a mother to him than she is." Eli looked at her blankly before letting his head drop back to the table, this time not even padding the impact with his arms, which hung lifelessly at his sides. Several diners stopped and looked over, investigating the loud bang. "I've just..," he moaned. "I've had a really... REALLY bad year. It's not just... her," He said, the slightest bit of disdain dripping into the word 'her.' "It's... it's Mom and Dad last fall. It's my job. That! That's why she ran off. The damned money stopped coming in!" He slammed his fist. Jackie tilted her head back and ran her fingers through her short brown hair. "Look Eli," she said. "I get it. I'm in the same boat as you with Mom and Dad. I loved them just as much as you did, so I know how you feel. As for the job, it's an employees' market right now. There's plenty of opportunities. Mom and Dad loved you enough that they're helping you and Avery through even now. Hell, if you need it you can even borrow from my half of the inheritance until you're back on your feet. Not that I think it'll take that long. I'm not worried about your situation Bro, I'm worried about you." "Don't worry about me," Eli moaned. "I don't care enough to do anything drastic like killing myself. Just swing by my place and pick up Avery. I'll just sit here until I expire. He has his acting classes on Wednesday evenings." "Now that's just selfish Eli," Jackie scowled, leaning forward and wagging her finger at him. "You think you're the only one having a hard time? Avery lost his grandparents and his mom ran out on him. He needs his father Eli!" "He needs a mother Jackie," he moaned. Jackie inhaled as if to retort but paused. A canny observer could almost see the light-bulb switch on above her head. She adjusted her blouse and reached excitedly for her purse. Eli heard a rumbling in the glass table before feeling something bump lightly into the top of his head. He looked up to see a cylindrical plastic vial lying on it side on the table. It had a metallic cap and, looking closer, he could see it was double walled. The walls contained some sort of watery liquid and the innermost section held a sort of green powder. "What's this?" he asked. Jackie's painted ruby lips curled into a sly smile. "Gynospores," she answered. Eli shot back in his chair as if he'd just noticed a venomous snake on the cafe table. "Jeez Jackie!" he cried. "They're a controlled substance!" "Shush!" she whispered. "Which is exactly why you should keep it down." "But only the zeeg clinics are supposed to have these. They're medical bio-mods. How'd you get them? Why do you have them?" "I know a guy," she shrugged. "I was getting them for a girlfriend. But he can wait another week." Eli began to look pale. "You mean..?" He pointed down at the vial. Jackie nodded her head, beaming. "Come on Jackie are you crazy? These things are dangerous! Aren't they kinda irreversible?" "Noooo," she retorted. "They're totally irreversible. And I dispute the idea that they're dangerous. They've never hurt anybody. That's the beauty. And they're in the safety vial. The acid in the double wall will wipe them out if the bottle breaks so it's not like we're being reckless here. Not like the old days when the zeeg would just dump them in a dimensional portal," she crossed her arms again. "And you were right. You said yourself Avery needed a mother." "No, no, no, no, no, no, no..." "Mom always wanted girls." "Well she got one Jack!" Eli snapped. "You haven't called me that in years," she said. "Look. You said your life was over, destroyed, kaput. Your wife's gone, you need a new job, you're moving into a smaller house. Well look at this as a fresh start. A new perspective. A reset button. Never a better time" she had a thought then. "Avery's hurting too. You could even share." "WHAT!?" Eli almost spit in a whispered yell. "You want me to turn my son into a girl!?" "They're perfectly safe for children Eli." "That's not what I mean Jackie!" "Did they ever give me any trouble growing up?" "That was different Jackie. You were 16 not ten! And besides, you were already like that." "But like I said, that's the beauty. When the zeeg made these things they standardized the neuro-chemical changes. Every gynomorph is the same. A straight, self-identifying female. It's baked in. That's why I said they never hurt anybody. It's not like anybody gets locked into the wrong body. Believe me I wouldn't be pitching this if that were even a remote chance. That sucks, you can take my word for it. But even if I weren't born a girl on the inside the spores would have made sure I was. And it's not painful or anything. The only bit that's even inconvenient is the migration of the urethra. That can be messy at first." "This feels wrong Jackie." "It would at the very least distract you and keep your mind off of your troubles. These hardest days would be occupied by self-discovery and not grief. Come on, think it over," Jackie cocked her head and put her hand up to her neck. "The Taylor boys have always made for pretty bodacious girls." "One sample does not a pattern make Jackie." "Oh so you agree your big sis is hot?" "I'm going home Jackie," Eli sighed. He stood up and walked to his car. He slammed the door and as he started to pull the seat belt around his chest Jackie poked herself half-way in through the passenger side window. "Look, Eli," she said. "I know that's not why you wanted to talk and I'm sorry. I don't think there's anything wrong with being a woman, or a little girl, or a fresh start, but I should have stayed on topic. You need support right now. If you need to talk again, I'm open." She blew him a kiss, backed herself out of the window, and pranced away toward the other side of the parking lot. Eli leaned back and ran his fingers through his own brown hair, sighing audibly. "As if I didn't have enough heavy ideas on my mind." He turned the key, slipped the car into reverse, and stepped on the gas. *** He was almost half way home before he noticed it. It was the plastic vial of gynospores nestled into the crack of the passenger seat. Jackie had obviously put them there when she leaned in the window. "That... huh," he sighed. "She did always want a sister," he thought. "She'd tried to get me to try on her clothes more than once. Not that they'd have fit," He thought back to when he was thirteen and his big brother Jack had taken gynospores. Jack had been pretty emphatic about his proclivities since he was twelve but it wasn't until he was sixteen that he took the plunge. The changes had been extreme. Two weeks was all it took with Jack... Jackie. That was about typical from what he'd heard. It was supposed to start with the alteration of neuro-chemistry and brain structure. Then the secondary characteristics started to manifest. A little tenting in the chest, a little swelling in the backside. Then the skeleton began to change. The vertebrae can't change, and the long bones don't change as much. That's why a lot of gynomorphs recommend starting young. Unless of course they don't mind being on the tall side. But the skeletal structure does end up being completely female. Striations in the bones from the alteration being the only clue. By the second week Jackie had looked more like a girl than a boy. The last things to finish up, Eli hadn't seen, the primary characteristics. The very last thing was always menstruation. It happens about a month after the physical changes are done. If they're already past puberty that is. The zeeg had made them. Engineered them. For the longest time humanity had thought their closest relatives were the chimpanzees. Turns out that was only partially true. We had a closer cousin, living in a parallel dimension. How we came to live in different realities is unknown, but we discovered each other completely by accident. No one would ever mistake a zeeg for a human, but their DNA was still all but identical to a human's. They looked mostly human, save for a few features. The skull was the most obvious difference. Taller, and more elongated, with three different vertical plates to the forehead; a light purple stripe on the center plate. Always completely bald. Their eyes were also large and mirrored. Like a crystal dome over a nighttime pool of black water. Some people found them attractive. Interbreeding is also possible, you see a human/zeeg hybrid now and then. Females had some additional advantages. No body hair, (only eyebrows, eyelashes, and pubic hair) wider hips to accommodate the birthing of the larger zeeg skull, and the neuro-natal link which allowed for some mild psychic alteration of their unborn children. They also emit a mating pheromone, which affects male zeeg and humans, but humans much less so. Save for the skull, eyes, and total baldness male zeeg were very similar to humans. The zeeg had made the gynospores for their own species before they discovered the human dimension. And it's still the kind that are used. But since our DNA is so similar it affects humans as well. The spores are grown in a lab and they contain an artificial DNA strain. When exposed to a Y chromosome they bond to it, mimicking the fourth chromatid, and converting a Y to an X. It was non-viral and completely safe Eli had heard. The artificial strain aligns itself to the host and it can't be spread from person to person. Only from spore to person. It's not even passed on to offspring. In the end it changes a male into a neo-female known as a gynomorph. A zeeg gynomorph is indistinguishable from a normal womb born female, save for possibly the bone striations. However with humans there are definite signs. Since the spores were created for the purposes of changing a male zeeg into a female zeeg some of the differences between the two sexes are passed on to the human gynomorph. A human gynomorph possesses the female zeegs' soft, regenerative, hairless skin, her pheromones, her comparatively wider hips, (not freakish in proportion but a human gynomorph needing a c- section is unheard of.) and neuro-natal link. Another noted side-effect is in the area of beauty instinct. Zeeg have very similar beauty standards to humans, except of course about the hair. Zeeg, having no hair, have no intrinsic instinct as to its treatment. Meaning human gynomorphs don't inherit a human female's concern over it. While the hair of the scalp does still grow on a human gynomorph it grows 20% more slowly than on other humans, and gynomorphs very often opt for the convenience of short hair over the perceived attractiveness of longer hair. Most keep it short, boyish, some would say. Some have wondered about the creation of similar 'androspores' that could produce the opposite effects. Changing a female into a male andromorph. However research into methods to break down chromosomes (a necessary step in the process) has been banned by zeeg law as potential biological weapons. Besides that, with the XY structure it was easy for the artificial strain to target the Y. With an XX structure it was harder to program one to target one X chromosome and not both. Even traditional surgical options don't work as the artificial DNA strains will simply reassert the physical modifications. Eli pulled into his driveway and put on the parking brake, shut off the engine, and just sat in silence for a few minutes. "Life is criminal," He grabbed the vial from the passenger seat. "Wouldn't want someone coming across this" and he headed inside. He walked through the kitchen and put the vial of spores on the counter. Avery was staying at the Klein boy's house for the day, Mrs. Klein was going to drop him off at about 5:00PM so for the next five hours Eli was alone with his thoughts. It was not a place he wanted to be. Music didn't help, anything on his phone or computer was just gonna piss him off, TV only survived by showing the safest of safe material so it had all become formulaic and boring. He wanted to just not exist for a while. "Ah," he thought. "that's the ticket," He walked down the hall and turned into the bathroom. Swinging open the mirrored cabinet he pulled out a bottle of sleeping pills. He looked inside and saw six pills. He walked back to the couch, sat down, shook a couple of pills into his hand and swallowed them without looking. "Those will take about a half-hour to kick in," he thought. He glanced back down into the bottle. Two pills. "Crap. I didn't think that felt like two going down," He gave the voice command to turn the ceiling fan on low and laid back on the couch. Each rotation of the fan gave a quiet electric hum that he could focus on. Just lie back, count the hums. Low setting was slow enough that he could keep track. *** "Dad... Dad!" Eli returned to consciousness to find Avery standing over him. He was a thin, athletic boy with the darker, almost black hair of his mother, but those same grey-blue Taylor eyes. "Dad wake up." "Yeah, I'm awake," Eli said sitting up, extremely groggy. He looked at the wall clock. 5:07PM. "Dad, what's for dinner?" the boy asked. "What? The Kleins didn't feed you?" Eli returned. "Just lunch." Eli put his hand to his temples. "Cheapo bit..," he mumbled. "Alright," he stood, wavering a moment, still woozy. "Eggs okay?" "Yeah, sure." Eli staggered into the kitchen, his head was swimming. 4 ? hours sleep on too many sleeping pills designed to knock you out for eight hours wasn't agreeing with him. "Dad," Avery said sitting at the kitchen table. "do we have to move?" Eli took a gallon of milk from the refrigerator and a pair of eggs, an egg slipped from his hand and splatted on the floor. "Afraid so," he said, taking another egg. "What about my lessons?" the boy whined. "We're not going far," Eli replied, cracking an egg into a bowl. "Same town, same school, everything. Just, a different house." "Okay," Avery answered dejectedly. He crossed his arms on the table and sank down into them reminding Eli of his own posture from when he'd spoken to Jackie earlier in the day. He remembered what Jackie had told him about Avery feeling much the same way he did. He certainly wouldn't want to take Avery's acting lessons away from him on top of everything else. That's when he noticed he was already scrambling over the rangetop. He didn't even remember turning the stove on. His head was still foggy. "What can I do to make Avery feel better?" he thought. "Maybe what Jackie said was right. That he needed a new mom... No, no. That's way too extreme. Still," he pondered. "Jackie has always told me that gynomorphs are just regular women. Not some licentious airheads or brainwashed bimbos... Jackie hadn't changed that much, just more comfortable in her own skin, more openly, naturally feminine, and that's what others are supposed to be like too... No. Those are crazy thoughts... Why won't this damn parsley open? I'll just have to be mom and dad both to him. Even if being the other wouldn't be the end of the world... God, did I check the expiration date on that milk?" His mind was all over the place, unable to concentrate on a topic or keep from resetting itself every few seconds. He was still doped out by too many sleeping pills. "This sucks," Avery thought, sulking at the table. "First Mom leaves, now we gotta move. This is the only place I ever lived. My bedroom is the only place I've ever slept," He was less torn up about his mother leaving than Eli because he was still convinced she would come back. He had told himself it was just a sad, but temporary arrangement and she'd be back for him one day. She had always been more distant than most mothers. "I still got my lessons though. I know Julius Caesar by heart. Glad I won't have to waste that. And I'll still be at the same school when summer is over. I wonder if Dad had friends at work the same way I do at school?" "There you go sport," Eli said placing down a plate in front of Avery. He hadn't realized how hungry he was himself. He hadn't eaten since breakfast. He was going to meet Jackie for lunch but he hadn't actually eaten anything. Avery watched Eli scarf down the eggs. He couldn't help but notice how out of it he seemed. He'd been acting really weird since Mom left but right now he was being really loopy. Still, "At least he remembers how I like my eggs," he thought. "I didn't even have to ask. I hate white eggs. I hate yolk too, tastes like grease. But it's alright all scrambled together," He probed a piece with his fork and took a bite. "A little bland this time though." *** Eli woke up later than usual, still groggy, but not doped like before. Those pills had really done a number on him, but they seemed to be out of his system now. He walked into the dining room where he saw Avery already awake and eating cereal at the table. He gazed around the corner to discover the TV was off. "No cartoons this morning champ?" "Nah," Avery replied. "They're all boring. Like, more boring than usual." "Well I'd say maybe you're getting too old for them, but I've never met anyone who had actually outgrown cartoons. Maybe you just need a break for a while." There was a rattle at the door. In walked Jackie in her capri jeans and little brown biker jacket. She minced her way into the dining room. "Hi boys," she chimed. "Hi Aunt Jackie," said Avery sincerely. "I thought I would continue being the responsible sibling and check in on you guys," she looked at Eli and cocked her hip in a display of haughtiness. "Eli, did you just get up? Or have you forgotten how to get dressed by yourself?" Eli looked down at his baggy cotton sleeping trousers and nothing else. Jackie floated down onto the table side chair and crossed her legs. "So what's for breakfast?" "Looks to be a legally distinct cereal out of a brightly colored bag that for no actionable reason at all reminds me an awful lot of Lucky Charms," joked Eli. "Well, nice to see you retained your sense of humor little Bro," she remarked. "Still, it's a little sugary for my morning constitution." "I think we still have some eggs in the fridge," Eli said standing up. "I've got to make some coffee anyway." "You used all the eggs Dad," Avery remarked. "What?" Eli said puzzled, stopped in a half stoop over the table. "Last night," Avery explained. "for dinner." "Right," said Eli, dropping back into his seat. "Last night's a little fuzzy for me. I remember now though. Sorry Sis. Most of the nonperishable stuff is packed up. I can make you a cheese sandwich or something." "That's fine." "I gotta find something else though," Eli explained. "What's good for settling your stomach?" he got up and walked toward the kitchen. "It's been bothering me since I got up." "Oh?" Jackie peered at him. "How so?" "Kinda tingles," he answered. "Like somebody's randomly jabbing my insides with a really fine paint brush over and over." "Hmm," Jackie nodded knowingly. "Yeah, me too," said Avery. Jackie whipped her head around to look at the boy, eyes like saucers. "I probably messed up those eggs last night," Eli explained, scrounging through the cabinets. Jackie leaned across the table and grasped Avery by the back of the hand. "Avery baby," she said. "You gotta tell me. Is it really just your stomach that feels funny, or is it also somewhere else?" she motioned her head downward, below the table. Avery's face turned red. "Tell me now, it's important," Avery nodded affirmatively. "Ew, there's egg on the floor," Eli grumbled to himself investigating the sticky mess on the bottom of his foot. "Eli you BASTARD!" she raged at him. She was on him like a typhoon, slapping and shoving, the man barely able to keep his footing my leaning against a counter top. "I was teasing you you idiot!" Eli could do nothing but wrap his arms about his head. "Ow, ow, what?" "Where are they Eli?" she demanded. "What?" "The spores!" "I put them on the counter yesterday, by the can opener," he pointed. Jackie marched across the kitchen and grabbed the vial from where it was resting. "They're more than half gone Eli," she was already on him again. "and it's OPEN!" "What? I didn't, I couldn't, I'm terrified by these things." "They didn't open themselves Eli! They didn't just walk away. And you're showing symptoms, BOTH of you!" All color melted out of Eli's face, the room began to spin. "No, no, no, no, no, no..," he stumbled back to his chair and fell into it. He buried his face into his palms as if he were trying to see his own wrist bones. "I was only semi-serious about you Eli," Jackie said standing over him. "You, you would have been fine, but I thought you knew me better than to think I was being serious about Avery. You don't DO that to other people!" "What's going on?" Avery asked lowly, barely brave enough to talk. "Oh Avery, oh honey..," Jackie walked over to him. "It's okay. Come here, I have to talk to you about something," she stood him up and led him away to a little shoe chair by the front door, and knelt down in front of him. Eli's mind was racing, panicking. He could hear whispers and sobs from the far end of the room but not make any of it out. He didn't look up until he heard a picture frame fly past his head and shatter against the wall behind him. Avery ran past towards his bedroom, openly crying. Jackie followed deliberately behind him glaring at Eli judgmentally as she went by. *** It was more than an hour later when Jackie came back out and sat down across the table from Eli, where Avery had sat. Eli was still unmoved from where she had left him. "Well," she said. "He's cried himself to sleep. I suppose that's to be expected. Eli, what the hell happened?" "I... I don't," he trailed off. "Eli." "I don't know. I don't remember doing it. I remember thinking about it... I think? But I didn't do it. Are you sure?" "That tingling is your neurons or some such thing misfiring. Your brain isn't programed for those parts anymore so it doesn't know how to react. How can you not remember Eli? The stuff doesn't mess with your memory." "I took some sleeping pills to take a nap. I took too many. I, sob, I don't remember yesterday afternoon very well." "Aw hell," Jackie said. Her demeanor was flat and serious, very noticeable against her normal more bubbly self. "What do you remember?" "Avery woke me up. He ask, sob, he asked about dinner. I made some eggs, we ate, and I went to bed. I was still crashed out." "How did you make the eggs?" she asked puzzled. "You use that same weird recipe?" "Like always," he answered. "Did you use..," she trailed off, she put her knuckles to her forehead. "You put parsley in your eggs Eli." "Yeah?" "The parsley's in a box Eli." "Ohhh... God..," he moaned, choking through his dismay. "Well," she leaned back. "You really stepped in it this time. Gonna have to disinfect the whole kitchen, bleach it down, soak whatever clothes you two were wearing too, probably burn them. Gotta make sure there aren't any errant spores lying around. I think I should take Avery with me for a while, I've got a lot to explain to him. Bathroom stuff mostly. For now. Speaking of, you should probably sit to pee now. Wait too long and you're just asking to make a mess." Eli looked up at her for the first time. His face and hands were both a soaking bog of unsuppressed tears. "Wh, why am I..?" "That would be the hormones," she explained. "If you took the spores last night then your brain is probably already pumping out estrogen like Niagara Falls," she watched him bury his face in his hands again. "The valve has been shut down on the testosterone too. Won't be such a problem with Avery I suppose. At his age all he has to worry about is downstairs. He gets to go through most of this at the rate nature intended. But you, you are really in for a bumpy ride the next couple of weeks," Eli was loudly sobbing now. "You know what? It might be better if I just stay here for a while." *** Eli laid in bed in the dark. He hadn't spoken to anyone in almost two days, he hadn't even seen Avery. He certainly didn't want Avery to see him. That was probably for the best. Avery was definitely still furious. A creaking sound broke the silence and a soft yellow light split the darkness. In the threshold stood Jackie, using her hip to push open the door. In one hand she held a food tray and in the other she was fiddling with her phone. "Up, up," she said. "Up and at 'em," Eli rolled over and pulled the blanket tightly over himself. Jackie eased herself down to sit on the bedside and placed the tray on the nightstand. "Come on. You need food. Your body's already eating itself. You're gonna burn out," He balled up even further. "You gotta move tomorrow. I'll drive if you want but I need help with some of the boxes," she frowned at him, looking away from the phone for the first time. "I'll leave this here," she patted the food tray. "Don't pretend you're not gonna eat it. I remember how it feels." She strode back into the kitchen and picked up another, smaller tray and took it down the opposite hall to Avery's room. He hadn't left his room much either, though more than Eli. It was understandable. She knew Avery wouldn't be showing any outward changes to speak of yet, but Eli definitely would. She knew he would already have visibly lost weight, in certain places, lost much of his muscle, showing other minor characteristics. The spores don't work slowly, that's a big reason why he was hiding. She slipped into Avery's room, much the same way as before, back on her phone. Avery was lying with his feet hanging off the edge of the bed, a magazine covering his face. Everything in the room was exactly where it was the last time she'd checked in, including Avery. "Hey baby, food." "Aunt Jackie my stomach feels bad," he moaned. She sat down next to him and put down the tray. "Does it feel bad," she asked. "or just funny?" He pushed the magazine off of his face and raised himself up to an elbow. "Funny," he admitted. "Sorry baby, you're just gonna have to put up with that for a while," she said. "Do you think you can eat something?" He sat up and nodded affirmatively. She lifted the upside down bowl to reveal a smaller one beneath. "I tried to mix some stew," she said. "I wanted to get as many cans as I could out of those boxes to lighten them up. It's probably not very good," she figured Avery's changes would be less physically taxing than Eli's. After all, Eli was undergoing a complete physical transmogrification. Avery's DNA was reconstituting itself, but for now the physical changes would be comparatively minor. But the rearrangement of internal, and then later external organs would still not be easy on him. Still, he seemed more willing to eat than his father. "Just bring that to the kitchen when you're done, okay." She got up and walked down the hallway. She was almost back to Eli's room before she felt the tingle on her hip of her phone vibrating. She pulled it out and scrolled through the screen until she found the response posted there. "Yes! Found her," she whispered. Peering back into Eli's room she saw that he was still curled up beneath the sheets, but on the nightstand she saw an empty bowl with brown residue. *** Eli sat on the stoop, wearing the puffiest jacket he owned, hood up, face downcast. "That's the last box," Jackie said, brushing nonexistent dirt from her palms. "All aboard who's coming aboard," Eli hesitantly stood up and parked himself in the front passenger seat of Jackie's car, crossing his arms and never taking his eyes off of his floppy shoes. Avery was already buckled up in the back seat, he peered out the window at his house. This was the last time. He wouldn't be coming back here and he still had that crushing feeling of a weight on his heart when he thought about it, but now there were so many more emotions going on. They were too chaotic to organize or understand or to let the crushing feeling show through as much. It was every feeling at once it seemed, at least the bad ones, and they tangled together in a way that added a palpable layer of frustration to the mix at not knowing how to react. He sobbed as silently as he could. "Alright crew, time to set sail," said Jackie. She leaned over and looked at the other two, both of them with their eyes locked on the floorboards. She frowned. She turned the ignition and saw the clock light up on the dash. "Ooh, we're late, better hurry," she pulled her seat belt over and put the car into drive. *** They stepped into the new house, the afternoon sunlight through the windows the only illumination inside. It was smaller than the old house, two bedrooms, one bathroom. The bareness of it made it feel sadder than it was. Avery trudged past Jackie as she put down the small box she was carrying and secluded himself behind the door of his new bedroom. Eli slumped down on one of the chairs they'd moved in on the previous trip. "You could help bring in some of these boxes you know," Jackie said. "Even Avery helped on the previous trips. It's your stuff," Eli just looked aside. "Patience Jackie, patience," she grumbled to herself. "Be supportive." It was then a strange car pulled up outside. Eli finally turned his grey-blue eyes upward, but kept his head turned down and covered. "Oh, just made it," said Jackie checking the clock on her phone. She moved to the doorway to await the new guest. "Who... who... wh," Eli stuttered. "Wh, who is..," he repeated, rubbing his throat, unable to keep his voice from breaking. Just outside the doorway Jackie was greeting a tall woman with short ruby red hair. A sleeve of tattoos could be seen on her left arm, left bare by her little brown vest and black sleeveless tank top. "Good," he could hear the redhead say as the women walked inside. "I thought I wouldn't find the right place." "This is Eli," Jackie motioned to her brother. "Eli, this is Monica. I had a hard time finding her online." "Who is she?" Eli asked standing up, still cringing at his inability to deepen his voice. "This is him eh?" said Monica, boldly pulling down Eli's hood. His skin was soft and flawless, lips fuller than before, eyelashes thicker, brows thinner, his jaw ever so slightly softer. "She's pretty." Eli could almost hear his heartbeat sharpen. "Pretty?" he thought. "SHE?" That's the first time anyone had called him that. He was different now sure but he was still most definitely a he. As he was distracted contemplating he felt hands seize him by the sides of his head and suddenly felt Monica's warm lips pressed against his. He could taste the waxy flavor of lipstick at the edges of his mouth. He pushed her away and rubbed his hand across his lips, the scarlet color stained his fingers. "Still man enough that I didn't mind doing that so much," said Monica. "How far is she?" she asked swiveling her head aside to face Jackie. "Five days?" "Three," answered Jackie. "Hmm, I guess it seems less extreme from this side," Monica concluded. "This side?" Eli questioned. "You mean... you?" Monica straddled the next chair to the left and leaned over the backrest toward Eli. "Monica 'Mel' Moss," she winked. "People wanted me to go with Melody or something like that, but it just felt too... princess, for me." Eli's face began to flush. "That got a response," said Monica. "I called Monica because I thought she could help you," Jackie explained. "I've done my best but I went through this on purpose. It's not the perspective you need. So I went looking for a local girl who'd had a similar... accident. She answered." Eli looked like a panicked bird, not knowing where to look or what to think. Monica shrugged with a smirk. "I'm a case study for professionalism in smuggling. NEVER open the package," she said. "I was a member of a certain, we'll call it a motorcycle enthusiasts' club," she pointed to the sleeve of tattoos. "They've kind of run together a little now. And faded. Zeeg skin leeches out some of the ink I guess. Small price to pay for perfect skin though. Never a pimple, blemish, scar, or stray hair." "Uhhh..," Eli vocalized. "Anyway. I opened the package, it wasn't what I thought it was, two weeks later I was like this. I did lose my patch, which sucked, and I sure wasn't wearing a property patch so I started my own club." Monica twisted around to reveal an image on the back of her vest of a stylized solid pink angelic figure and the words 'Chapter Boss.' "The Pink Valkyries," she said. "Just between you and me, I'm not too fond of pink, but it really reinforces the point I think." "Are you all..?" Eli questioned." "Eh? Oh no," Answered Monica. "I mean morph hang-arounds are welcome, but almost all the members are natural ladies. We're still a pretty rare breed," she motioned her finger to each person in the room. "Anyway... D'ya like that kiss?" she narrowed her gaze. Eli was stupefied. "I uh..." "You don't think I'm pretty?" Now that he sized her up for the first time she was the very image of a lipstick biker chick. Soft beautiful face with just enough attitude to keep a bit of an edge, dolled up with makeup. She wore the bright red rouge he tasted before, some subtle toner to bring out her cheekbones. Dark eyeshadow applied in such a way to suggest flirtatiousness but not slutiness. Her body was top shelf. All the curves going in all the right directions, round hips, perky breasts, discernible but not salient muscle tone, and clothes just tight enough to show it all off. Why had it taken so long to notice? "Umm... yeah." "So, d'ya like that kiss?" There was a knock at the door frame which broke all three of their concentration. There in the waning sunlight in the open door stood a modest, plain teenage girl, long dirty blond hair, headband, knee length skirt, about fifteen. "Is this the Taylor place?" she asked. "I'm Shelly." "Oh right," said Jackie, checking the time on her phone once again. "You're the Bernsen girl. I almost forgot I called," she turned to the hallway leading to Avery's room and yelled. "Avery! Your babysitter is here!" "Wait, what?" Eli questioned. "What babysitter, for what?" At that moment each woman grabbed him by a wrist, pulled him to his feet and both said "Ladies' night!" With her free hand Jackie secured her purse and began to swiftly give instructions to Shelly over Eli's objections as she and Monica pushed him struggling to the door. "Avery is in his room 'he's been a little depressed lately so don't be offended if he's not terribly friendly.' Sorry there's no food in the fridge yet, there's peanut-butter in... THIS box, I like to just eat it out of the jar sometimes. There's canned fruit, here, some cookies, here... you know what? THESE boxes all have the food in them, just look through and you two can splurge if you want. Be mindful if you have any allergies, Avery doesn't. Bolt this door, we have the key, bye," The door shut and they were gone. Shelly stood confused and alone. *** Eli sat very intentionally with his back to the stage, having no interest in what he knew to be dancing there. Jackie and Monica sat opposite him, Monica with her riding boots and jeans propped up on the spare fourth chair and a beer in her hand watching attentively behind Eli's shoulder. "You've got to get out in the world," Jackie said. "Avery's got school in a couple of weeks so He'll, I guess She'll, have that to help her, him, whatever figure the world out. But you can't stay locked up in your room either." "But, HERE!?" he admonished. The dim colored lights moving across the walls, a way too out of date techno riff booming through the aging sound system. "I've seen worse dives," said Monica taking a swig. "Look," she put her feet down and leaned in close to him. "Look at me. You didn't did you?" "Didn't what?" "Like the kiss? I know I'm a fox. I could go home tonight with any guy I wanted. But to you that kiss might as well of come from a hot water bottle. You know it, I know it. It did nothing for you, and I don't just mean physically. We all know that dog no longer hunts." "What are you..?" "Do you think five years ago I would have been caught dead in a place like this, on a night like this? But there was something I had to accept and the sooner you do too the better." "What?" "I like guys. So do you," she said. The color drained from Eli's face. He had the look of sick upon him. "I don't expect you to be buying yourself dances or anything, but it's part of the program," she took another swig. "Hell, It's usually the last thing we accept, but truth be told, it's always the FIRST thing to change. There are no lesbian gynomorphs." Eli's head hit the table hard. Monica shot up and attempted to check his pulse before he spoke. "Why are you doing this?" "Obviously you needed the help," said Monica. "But why do you want to help?" he mumbled into the table, a thing that was becoming a habit with him lately. "I don't have any blood siblings like you two," Monica said tracing a finger back and forth between Jackie and Eli. "But I have sisters. In fact I'm lucky enough to belong to two different sisterhoods. One's the Valkyries," she thumbed over her shoulder at the patch on her back. "the other's, well, welcome to the sisterhood." Eli ran his hands through his hair and sat up like an undead fiend rising from a coffin. "I don't want to be part of a sisterhood," he said. "I don't belong in a sisterhood!" "Hey Jackie," Monica said placing her beer on the table. "With Eli all bundled up and trying to look as mannish as he can, what did the doorman charge you for him coming in here tonight?" "Half-price," Jackie answered. Monica raised her bottle into the air and declared, "To ladies' night!" *** Eli had never felt a stronger heartbeat in his life. And it hurt. Every thump sent a piston into his brain that felt like it was going to make it explode. Every thump as loud as a drum in his ear. He really shouldn't have drank. He no longer understood his own body weight, but he was depressed. If he could he'd have kicked himself for not learning the lesson that depression and substances don't mix. That's what had gotten him into this in the first place. God, the thumping seemed even louder now, and more painful, and faster. And they were coming in groups of four. Each four louder than the last. "Huh?" He rolled over on the floor, bumping into the couch before he could get to his back. "Coming, coming," said Jackie, strolling through the house to see who was banging on the front door. Each heavy rap was like a peening hammer to the side of Eli's head. "Who is it?" Jackie asked as she flung open the door and found herself facing a grey wall. Or, the grey t-shirt on the 6'6" side of beef standing on the welcome mat. "Oh," she said, butterflies in her stomach as she scanned him up and down. Tight bluejeans, tighter t-shirt, a five-o-clock shadow just enough there to feather the more meticulously manicured beard beneath. "H, hi," she blushed. "How can I help you?" "Is Monica here?" the stranger questioned. "This is where she told me she'd be." "Hey Roy," Monica said groggily as she rolled off the living room couch, almost stepping on Eli as she got up. "I was a little too tipsy to drive last night so I stayed here. She strolled up to him and stood to her toes. He put his hand down under her and lifted her with one arm to his own height and let her kiss him. "This is my boyfriend Roy," she said to Jackie as he lowered her back to earth. "Roy, this is my friend Jackie." "Hi," he said. "Hey Monica their driveway is full up so I had to park it in the street, we gotta go." "Right," she answered. "I'll ride back with you. If you can drop me off here in a couple days to pick up my car? I really do need to come back anyway." "Sure," he responded. "Great, I just need to find my shoes real quick. Hey Eli, come meet my boyfriend Roy," she said loudly. "Alright, alright, just keep the noise down please," Eli said as he staggered to the front door. He turned the corner saying "Who's Ro... Oh," butterflies in his stomach, as he scanned him up and down. *** Jackie was sitting at the table reading a fashion magazine when Monica came bursting through the front door with a large cardboard box in tow. "Morning," she mumbled through the pretzel stick hanging from her mouth. "What's that?" questioned Jackie as she closed her magazine and trotted over to snoop. "Just a few essential things for around the house... female things." Jackie had already sifted halfway to the bottom of the box. "A fireman calendar?" "It's very important to keep your schedule in order," they both giggled. "But this stuff Monica, Eli won't need most of this for at least a month. Aunt Flow's first visit is always the last step. I don't even want to talk to him about that one." "Well I'm not doing it." "Well we'll keep it anyway. I've got an appointment with her next week." "I'll be sure to mark it down on the calendar," Monica cocked her hip into a sassy stance. "Jackie!" a maidenly voice called out through the house, muffled by the walls. "Speaking of the late bloomer..," said Monica. The two women made their way to his bedroom where they found Eli standing with his face in his hands. "Jackie how do I control them?" "Them?" she asked? "You know," Eli threw his hands down in frustration. "THEM. I've got to tape them or something." "Oh," said Jackie noting the distinct pillowing that even Eli's puffy jackets could no longer hide. "Them." "It wasn't so bad before," Eli groaned. "Yeah they've been growing but my chest muscles shrank too so it wasn't that hard to hide them." "Wait here," said Jackie prancing out of the room. "I say show them off," Monica smirked, leaning against the door frame. "Hello Monica," Eli groused. "You've got to get used to them eventually Sister, they're not going anywhere." Eli had ceased to be alarmed at the increasing rate at which people referred to him with feminine words. Not out of acceptance, but out of fatigue. After all, that's what people saw now, even those who knew him. At this point he looked and sounded no more like a man than did Jackie. The secondary characteristics were done, adam's apple, gone, hands, slim and graceful, feet, dainty, jaw round and smooth, nose, petite and button like, neck, slender, muscles, absent, butt, uncomfortably comfortable, hips, uncontrollable, chest... well that was the problem of the hour. Even his skeleton had completely changed. He was definitely past the peak now and he knew it. It was all down stairs from here. "Okay, I'm back," echoed Jackie from the hallway before she'd even made it back to the bedroom. She was carrying a narrow blue piece of cloth that dismayed Eli to realize was one of her bras. "Lord kill me now," he sighed. "Top off," Jackie instructed. "Chop-chop." "No," Eli answered. "Come on, don't be such a little girl," she teased. "I don't want to wear that," Eli huffed. "You've got to get used to them eventually," Monica interjected. "they're not going anywhere." "It's the most conservative one I have," said Jackie. Eli groaned. "Fine," He lifted the jacket up over his head, not even questioning that he didn't find it awkward with Monica right there in the room. Jackie pulled the straps around him and quickly fastened it across his back. "This doesn't feel right," he said. "You'll get used to it," Jackie replied. "No, I mean it doesn't FEEL right, in the front. It pinches." Jackie reached around to help him adjust the cups. Her lips curled into a poorly hidden frown as her eyes narrowed. "That's because you're bigger than me," she said through her teeth. "Sweet," commented Monica. "New box. We get to go shopping." Eli was mortified. He reached for his jacket to put it back on. "Speaking of the box," said Jackie. "Uh... ah, that cardboard box... of, essential things," Eli looked confused. "What I mean to say is how are things progressing... you know," she tilted her head slightly. "there?" Eli was more than mortified. "Huh, if you must know it's still there... mostly. It's, very much... not the same, but it's there. Mostly." "I guess that's good," said Jackie, because with that butt there's no way my under things would fit you either." "What's wrong with my butt?" Eli asked self-consciously. "Nothing at all," added Monica. "Still," said Jackie. "If you're that far along, ahem, there, then Avery is probably there too, or even a little further along. I better go talk to him. Monica, could you teach him sizes please?" "Not a problem," she said with confidence. Jackie marched off deliberately to the other end of the house. She cracked open Avery's bedroom door and peeked inside. There he was, lying in the dark on his bed, wrapped around his pillow, none of his toys or other things unpacked from the moving boxes. "Can I come in?" Jackie asked quietly. Avery looked up and nodded affirmatively. She strode across the room and sat next to him. "Hey baby. Your stomach still tingly? Other places?" Again he nodded. Unlike Eli, Avery's prepubescent form looked pretty much the same as before. Perhaps his skin was the tiniest bit softer but nothing that anyone would find questionable. "I promise that's gonna stop pretty soon, okay?" she stroked his hair. "Are you, are you having any trouble... with the bathroom?" Tears began to soak into his pillow. "Hey, hey, I'm sorry, I'm sorry," she pleaded. "Just, remember what I told you and you can handle it I'm sure." "Aunt Jackie, sob," "Yeah baby?" "Do I, sob, have to go back to school... like this?" "That's up to Eli honey, and I'm pretty sure the answer is 'yes.'" "What do I care what he thinks!?" Avery threw his pillow across the room and buried his face in the sheets. "Well," said Jackie. "I won't deny he's a world class screw up. But he didn't mean to hurt you. You know that right? He's having trouble too and he loves you and you haven't even been in the same room together since the day you moved in. You've just sort of been hiding in here. I think school will be good for you, clear your head a little and I think you should talk to Eli too." Avery looked up with tears smeared across his face. "Do I have to talk to him right now?" "Dammit Monica! That hurt!" could be heard echoing through the house. "Maybe not right now." *** Avery slumped against the window of the school's front office. It had been almost a week now since the tingling stopped. Aunt Jackie had said that meant the alterations had finally finished. That's what the doctor had said too, when they went in for med-scans. Avery would have to give the slim-stick with the med-chip data to her teacher, and the record changes from city hall to an administrator. Avery would have thought that was a boring kind of day before she'd spent two weeks sitting alone in the dark. On the contrary, it was shocking to actually look at Dad... Mom? At Eli again. She almost didn't believe it was the same person at first. She looked so much like Aunt Jackie now. "I guess it was true," she thought. "when Aunt Jackie had said she was having troubles too." "Avery Taylor," she heard the lady at the desk call. She walked up to the desk, and stood on her toes to try to get her chin above it. On some level she was sure they built it like that to create a sense of dread and authority. "You're in Mrs. Hill's 5th grade home room class," the woman explained without actually looking up. She passed Avery a slip of paper with a room number printed on it. "I have a change of records," Avery whispered timidly and pushed the black slim-stick across the desk as far as she could reach just like Mom had instructed. The lady looked up for a moment before palming the device and going straight back to her business. Avery trudged slowly to the classroom indicated on the note, room 117. There she found the other students lined up in the hall waiting for the teacher to arrive, which was a morning ritual at this school. Avery just slumped herself against the wall, wanting to do nothing but wait. "Avery hey!" she heard. Kevin, Nick, and Russ, were heading towards her. "Hey Avery," Kevin repeated. "It's been a while huh? How you been?" he asked. All Avery could do was fabricate a smile. "We haven't seen Clay. I think he got Mrs. Rogen's class instead." "Bummer," said Russ. "I hope they don't make us do one of those 'what I did on my summer vacation' things," complained Nick. "Me too," admitted Avery sincerely. It was then Mrs. Hill, a pear shaped woman with tall styled hair, trotted by and slipped a key into the classroom door with practiced fluidity. ?Okay, in, in,? she clapped at the students. ?Find your seats on the chart on the board,? she said as the children filed by. They each found the place they were assigned to sit, hung their respective backpacks on the backs of their respective seats, and sat down. ?Hello, students,? said Mrs. Hill waddling her way behind her desk. ?I'm Mrs. Hill. I'll be your teacher for this year,? The bell for first period chimed over the school's intercom. ?Ah, good,? she said. ?I'm going to call roll now. When I call your name, just raise your hand,? she began to go down the list in alphabetical order. ?Maybe they don't have to know,? thought Avery. ?I have to tell the teacher. That doesn't mean the class has to know right?? ?Avery Taylor.? ?I can just not go to the bathroom. I can hold it until I get home can't I?? ?Avery Taylor.? ?Otherwise I can just pretend nothing's changed.? ?AVERY TAYLOR.? ?Oh!? said Avery aloud, and raised her hand abashedly. ?Alright students,? said Hill when she had completed the rolls. ?time for our first assignment. So we get to know each other a little better. I want you each to write a short essay called 'What I did on my Summer Vacation.'? An almost thunderous groan emerged from the class. ?Crap, crap, crap,? Avery banged her head into her desk knowing full well they'd all be expected to read to the class. ?Lie, I'll just have to lie,? For now though, she had something else to stop putting off. She slipped out of her desk and slinked her way up to the front of the class. She held out the green slim-stick wordlessly, half hoping that Mrs. Hill wouldn't notice her. ?What's this?? inquired Hill. ?Doctor's note,? Avery croaked. Hill took the device and slipped it into her monitor. She sat for a moment reading the data that came up. Then re-read it. Her eyes widened as she began to comprehend. ?Oh,? she said. ?OH!? she looked over at Avery standing there with her hands crossed in front of her, her eyes evasive, occasional shudders passing through her form. ?Is this, is this true?? she asked. Avery nodded. ?Umm... okay. Just go have a seat for a moment please,? Avery trudged off and Hill clicked the intercom on her desk. ?Can I have a nurse report to room 117 please?? she said. Avery sat quietly for a few minutes before a school nurse came to the door. Mrs. Hill went over to her and Avery watched as they whispered to each other, Hill pointing Avery out at one point. ?Avery could you come up here please?? Avery walked back up to the front of the class, feeling the rest of the class' attention burning into her. She hoped they all just thought she was feeling sick. ?Avery I want you to go with the nurse to her office for a little while,? Hill explained. ?She's gonna give you a... checkup. Okay?? she put a hand on Avery's shoulder and led her through the door. *** It was half an hour later when they returned. Avery walked in first, eyes welling. The nurse stood behind her, looked to Mrs. Hill and simply nodded. ?Um, okay,? said Hill motioning for Avery to come closer. ?Um sweetie, do you, oh, do you want to tell the class or should I?? Avery's lip quivered and the tears began to roll down her cheeks in silent rivers. ?Okay, okay,? Hill said moving around to the front of her desk. ?Um class,? she said, wiping her brow with her finger. ?Um, first, how many of you know Avery Taylor?? Most of the class raised their hands, many of them palpably confused. ?Um well..,? she paused. ?Well, Avery had a little bit of... an accident over the summer. And well... wow. Um. Avery is... Avery is going to be a girl. She already is. She's a gynomorph.? One could have heard a fly's footsteps. There was no laughing or teasing, no guffaws or pointing fingers. Only hanging jaws and deafening, stunned, silence. ?You can go back to your seat dear,? Mrs. Hill patted Avery on the back. ?I want you to all take this seriously. I don't want to catch ANY of you teasing. I'm not joking around about this,? she went back around to her desk and clicked the intercom. ?Hi,? she said. ?this is Mrs. Hill in 117. Can I meet Vice-Principal Chan and Coach Morris in the teachers' lounge? I have something important to discuss,? she trotted toward the door. ?Oh,? she stopped. Just continue on your essays until I get back. Avery, you're excused from the assignment. Just put your head down,? Avery was way ahead of her. She hurried out into the hall. Never was there a more silent elementary school classroom in the absence of a teacher. Avery could feel the weight of two-dozen pairs of shocked eyes beating down upon her. But none of them spoke a whisper, and Avery sobbed. *** ?I see,? said Vice-Principal Chan as he sat rubbing his balding head, contemplating the situation as Mrs. Hill had explained it. ?We've never had a gynomorph student before. And she's not taking it well you say?? ?Not at all,? answered Hill, a concerned look in her eyes. ?How far along is she?? asked the broad chested younger man, the physical-education teacher, Coach Morris. ?She's done, according to the file,? said Hill. ?Isn't it supposed to not work that way?? Morris asked. ?I don't know enough about this.? ?Okay let's just go by the book here,? said Chan. ?I think we have something for this,? He spun around in his chair and tapped on a computer monitor that was sitting there. ?Ah, here, the file on expert contacts. Let's see... medical experts... psychological... wow we have a lot of these, um, here I think. Child identity issues is, I think, what we want. Dr. Eisenstein,? He clicked on it and a new window opened, he saw the image of a well dressed young zeeg woman in front of a wall with some cheap landscape painting hanging behind her. ?Dr. Eisenstein's office,? she said as she seemed to notice the digital information portal called 'the internet,' open beside her. ?Yes um, I'm Vice-Principal Chan of the Willingham elementary school. We have something of an issue we need help with and Dr. Eisenstein was listed as an official contact.? ?One moment please,? the girl disappeared from view. Chan tapped a pencil on his chair arm as he impatiently awaited her return. A minute later her head popped back onto the screen. ?Dr. Eisenstein will see you now,? she tapped a key and the window moved to a new location. They were looking now at a fairly scruffy man in front of a disorganized bookshelf with many random papers hanging out and what appeared to be a solar powered, dancing, plastic cactus. ?Hello, I am Dr. Eisenstein,? the new face said with a vaguely European accent. ?What can I do for you Mr. Chan?? ?Well sir,? Chan answered, rubbing the back of his neck. ?We have something of an issue here at Willingham, um, with a student. It's a little outside our experience. We have a gynomorph who came back from summer vacation.? ?And she's is having some trouble fitting in?? ?Oh very much yes,? Hill interjected. ?Do you have a file I could look at?? Eisenstein asked. ?Oh, of course,? Mrs. Hill said searching through her tablet for the med-scan Avery had given her. Once she pulled it up she physically tapped the tablet against the monitor. Eisenstein looked slightly to the side and his eyes narrowed, seemingly reading the file that he had just received. ?Ah,? said Eisenstein. ?Oh I see. Yes, I understand. What you have here,? he looked back toward the camera. ?is an unwilling convert, and a fresh one. They tend to have the most trouble.? ?What do we do?? asked Chan. ?Nothing special,? Eisenstein answered. ?First you might want to have a session with her classmates to explain to them exactly what a gynomorph is and what she's going through. Help them understand. I'll send some information you can use for that.? ?Yes that's a good idea,? said Chan. ?Beyond that,? said Eisenstein. ?Treat her as what she is, a little girl. Have her participate with the girls, make sure she uses the girls' facilities, when you line them up in separate columns, put her on the girls' side. Don't make a show of it, but treating her like a boy will only slow down the adjustment. It's only a matter of time. You see she's going through a phase we call 'social re-alignment.' A person's personality is made up of two major elements, nature, and nurture. The gynospores have already seen to one, whether she understands or excepts this or not. What she's struggling with now is her old nurture trying to catch up to her new nature. Treating her as a girl will help accelerate this. Again, don't push too hard, don't be unnecessary with it, or she'll resent you, and push back. Just treat her as if what she is is what she's always been. Not in a delusional sort of way of course, but practically. She'll come around sooner or later when she realizes and understands how she feels. The female personality will fill in for the loss of the male identity. It always does. That's how the system was designed. She'll eventually feel as comfortable in her own skin as anyone. You just have to stay out of the way of it.? *** At morning recess Avery sat beside the lightning tree, a big tree on the playground with a deep lightning scar. They had been sent outside just after the presentation Mrs. Hill had given about gynomorphs. It was the most awkward class of Avery's life. There had been questions of course, but most of the class was too freaked out to ask anything. Avery herself had just sat there screaming in her own head, trying not to attract the stares of the students who were pretending not to look at her the whole time. Now she sat here alone. Everyone else was out and about playing. One of the few things Avery had always looked forward to at the end of summer was seeing her friends again. Not this time. Nick, Kevin, and Russ hadn't spoken to her since this morning and she honestly hadn't wanted them to. Now they wouldn't even come close to her, like they were afraid of her, even though it was explained to them that she wasn't contagious. The closest anyone came was when Yvonne and Kelly strode by whispering and peering, and giggled to each other as they skipped off. She balled up her fists and placed them onto the sides of her head. Still, at least out here there were things happening to hold her attention. On the other side of the playground some boys were playing football, boring. Towards the middle some others had turned the jungle- gym into an army base, extra boring. By the old tree stump some other boys had found a caterpillar and were poking it with a stick, gross. On the concrete some girls were playing four-square. They probably would not have let Avery play, even if she felt like playing. ?Life is a nightmare,? she said aloud. *** After lunch and a few more lessons it was time for gym. ?How did I not think about gym?? Avery asked herself. This was the culmination of all her fears. Nothing put boys and girls in sharper contrast than gym. ?Line up for uniforms!? announced Coach Morris. Except the uniforms. This school had gendered gym uniforms. Avery knew it. ?Girls line up to my left, by Assistant Coach Dandridge, boys line up over here on my right,? The class sorted themselves out into their lines. Avery froze like a deer in the headlights, which Coach Morris noticed. He looked her right in the eye, and gave a slight frown, showing what might have been an expression of sympathy, and then he motioned his head to the left. Avery dropped her shoulders and trudged over to the girls' line like she was marching to the firing squad. ?Get your uniform, then go to your respective locker rooms and change. After that we'll start with warmups,? Morris loudly instructed. Avery was the last one in line and when she got up to the table she was handed a clear plastic button bag with a set of uniforms inside, it had a locker number and combination pinned to it. She put it under her armpit and then just stood there next to the table. ?The girls' locker room Avery,? Morris said. ?What!?? shrieked Yvonne, having been the first in line, already returned from changing. ?He's not even a real girl!? ?Hey!? clapped Dandridge sternly. ?You heard him.? Avery's eyes began to well again. Morris walked up to her and took a knee, trying to get closer to her level. He put his hand on her shoulder. ?Hey,? he said almost in a whisper. ?If it was up to me I'd give you an extra minute so you could go change by yourself. But I was told not to treat you differently. There are stalls in there. Just cross your eyes and go into one of those if you have to. Go on now.? Avery slinked towards the door and then picked up her gait, holding up the uniform bag in front of her face and trying to reach an empty stall as quickly as possible. Several girls screamed and covered themselves and some even threw socks at her as she passed. She ducked into an empty stall and slammed the door behind her. ?What's this commotion in here?? Coach Dandridge demanded poking her head into the locker room. ?Coach Dandridge,? moaned Jenny, pointing at the stall. ?But... Avery...? ?Leave Avery alone,? Dandridge instructed. ?Ignore her. Hurry up and get back in the gym.? A minute later Avery was the last girl to return to the gymnasium. Her face was fire hydrant red, she was using her hands in a vain attempt to cover the gym shorts she had been assigned. They were much shorter and much, much... pinker, than the almost knee length blue ones that the boys wore. Other than that the plain white t-shirt was basically identical. ?Alright everybody chop-chop,? announced Morris. ?Line up for warmups. Boys on this side of the half-court line, girls over there with Coach Dandridge.? Avery didn't even bother hesitating this time. She knew where she was expected and lined up in the back on Dandridge's side. ?Okay everybody,? said Dandridge, Morris giving similar instructions on the other end of the court. ?Jumping jacks, ten sets!? she blew her whistle and the students began to jump in place. ?One side-hop, two side-hop, three side-hop, four side-hop, five side-hop, six side-hop, seven side-hop, eight side-hop, nine side-hop, ten!? she blew her whistle again signaling to stop. ?Alright then. Jogging in place,? she pulled out her stop-watch. ?I want to see those knees high!? whistle ?Come on now fast, get those knees up girls, go! Go, go, go, go!? whistle ?Good. Now that we've got the blood flowing, I wanna see pushups. Twelve sets. Everybody on the floor,? whistle ?One... two... three... four...? Avery was struggling, far more than she expected. She was a tiny bit more winded from the jacks and jogging than before but that was to be anticipated after a long lazy summer. This though, her arms were already quaking, burning, this was much harder than she supposed. ?Taylor!? Dandridge called out. Avery looked up startled. ?You can use your knees sweetie,? Avery could have died. *** The boys had already begun their 20 laps around the gym before the girls got started. Morris pushed the boys through the warmups a little faster than the girls were. The laps weren't timed, one could do them at their own pace, but if you got through them early you got to sit in the bleachers until it was time for sports. So if you got through faster you'd have more time to rest. Avery was determined to do this right, get back to some semblance of normality. She did not get off to a good start. She leaned in and pushed herself, pumping her hands back and forth and trying to use her speed to keep her upright. She failed miserably. She almost instantly stumbled and fell over. She got back up and tried again, half-way through one lap she fell again. Now she tried running more upright instead. She didn't stumble as much but she was still far more tired than she wanted to be. It wasn't long before she slowed her pace and stopped pumping her arms entirely. By her tenth lap she had settled into a much more comfortable run. Though, completely different. Straight up, shorter strides, elbows in, hand swaying slightly side to side, MUCH slower. ?Looking good Avery,? called Russ from the bleachers as she passed by. ?Was he teasing me?? she wondered. As she passed again Nick affected a wolf-whistle, as far as a ten year old boy could understand one. She stopped then, and examined herself. She looked down at her inwardly turned toes, her elbows at her ribs, her half closed hands bobbing around her shoulders. ?Oh nooo..,? she thought. ?I, I, I...? ?Hey Avery!? Nick yelled. ?You run like a girl!? *** ?Alright everybody,? said Morris, Nick huffing past behind him, already well into his extra 20 laps. ?today is basketball. Girls on that side, boys on this side. Who wants to be team captains?? ?Ooh me!? shouted Yvonne, being the queen bee that she generally was. ?I don't think so,? said Dandridge. ?Not after that outburst from earlier.? Yvonne sulked. ?Kelly, you can be team captain, and... Carmen,? said Dandridge. ?Kevin and Miles,? said Coach Morris on his side. The team captains stood out on the court choosing their players in turn. On the girls' side Kelly got first pick and she of course chose Yvonne. She gave Avery the stink-eye as she made her way out onto the court. One girl after another was called. ?Megan,? said Kelly with her final pick. ?Hmph,? whined Carmen. Stomping her foot and looking at the last girl sitting lonely in the stands. ?Fine... Huff, Avery,? Half her team groaned in unison. ?Hey you just keep it up,? said Dandridge. ?You just made sure she's team captain tomorrow. Here Avery. You take out first ball.? Avery had finished her run near the back of the pack but not the very back, so she had gotten a little rest. Now she was getting her feet under her again. She was moving more competently than before. Despite her minimal physical changes her coordination was no longer the same, not the same, but still there. She was beginning to find it again. Still slower, a little more awkward, but she could move, compete again. She was in the game. Through sneakers squeaking and dribbles pounding the game went on. The other girls were still reluctant to pass her the ball but there were times when she was the only one open, and times when she could steal it from her opponents. She was playing well, it did not occur to her to be disappointed to be competing on an even keel with girls like it might have before. Kelly was trying to block, keeping in front of Avery, but Kelly was too distracted by the ball handler to notice Avery slip away. The ball flew out into Avery's waiting hands. She was as wide open as she could possibly be. The clock was ticking. She shot. The ball flew out in a long, low arch and came back down... short. The whistle blew. *** Eli and Jackie were sitting at home reading when the sound of the school bus stopped outside. Avery slogged in through the front door looking absolutely whipped. ?Hey, how was school?? Eli asked looking up from her book. Avery gazed at her narrow eyed. ?Worst, day, EVER,? she said as she dropped her things and walked back to her room. Jackie stepped forward to pick up Avery's bag and found the button bag underneath. ?What's this?? she asked digging. ?Oh, those are the schools' gym clothes. The kids have to bring them home for washing. I think we have a box full of them here somewhere from last year.? ?These,? said Jackie holding up a pair of the little pink gym shorts. ?are... adorable.? Eli peered at her judgmentally and snatched the garment out of her hands. ?Sorry, sorry, I wasn't thinking,? Jackie explained. ?But you have to admit, she probably looks absolutely precious in them.? ?I'd better go talk to her, survey the damage,? said Eli. ?Well hurry back, I've got a surprise for you too.? ?Jackie,? Eli froze in her tracks. ?what kind of surprise?? ?Oh nothing,? she said coyly holding up a little black book. ?I just made you a little, shall we call it an... 'appointment?'? ?Jackie,? said Eli. ?are you CRAZY!?? ?Oh but he's so nice,? Jackie warbled. ?He's super safe I promise. You're already through the worst part, believe me, you just need a few more pushes.? ?No Jackie, no, no, no, absolutely no damn way, no!? ?Come on. He's the biggest pushover I ever dated. I can stay here and watch Avery. We'll have a girls' night in and you, the worst you have to worry about is having a dinner for once that I didn't have to pay for. You'll be doing ME a favor. Do it for me... Pleeeease..,? Jackie pouted. ?Damn you Jackie.? *** ?...and that's when the monkey fell right out of the tree; landed right on his head,? He said stirring his bread into his soup. ?Needless to say, now we make sure to trim the fruit trees away from the cages before they get over ripe. Umm, how's your pasta?? ?Hmm? Oh,? Eli barely responded, leaning on her elbow and twisting her fork into her spaghetti. ?It's fine I guess,? she turned her eyes up to give him another look over. Regular guy, glasses, blue button up. Nice haircut, cheap, but nice. He was kind of cute but he was sort of a dweeb. Eli sighed, she almost hadn't caught herself on that thought. She disappointed herself. Still. He brought her here, it was no five-star gourmet but a nice little Italian place like this was probably still splurging for a zookeeper. ?So, Eli,? he said. ?Uhh, you still go by Eli right?? ?Yep.? ?Have you thought about changing it?? ?No.? ?Well, give it some thought. Not something you want to decide on rashly. You're uh,? he coyly looked her over in return. Perfect medium skin, dainty shoulders, button of a nose, full lips, piercing blue eyes, a little bustier than her frame would suggest, gorgeous. Yet she wore a plain striped pullover and black slacks. ?you're not quite the flashy dresser your sister is... uh, if you don't mind me saying.? Eli simply chewed on her food like cud. ?We could still catch a movie if you want?? ?No,? she swallowed and answered. ?If we did that I would want to bring my so... um, my... daughter. She's been short of entertainment lately and I've been short of funds... and attention I suppose.? ?Hey, that's a great idea. I love kids. Bring her along next time.? ?Next... time?? ?So, how old is she?? he asked. ?She turned ten over the summer.? ?Hey, that's a great age. I bet there'll be some cartoons playing. I love cartoons.? ?I bet you do,? Eli poked at her food. ?So um, do you want some more wine?? he inquired. ?Absolutely yes.? *** He pulled up beside the house and put the car in park. He leaned over toward the passenger seat and tried to give her a kiss on the cheek but Eli sprang out the door and marched fleetly toward the entrance. She burst through the door to find Jackie still awake on the couch. ?I never want to see that man again,? said Eli definitively. ?Oh I always thought he was nice,? Jackie responded. ?Oh he's nice alright. Way too nice. Jackie, the guy's a creep. Where's Avery?? ?She's asleep. Went to bed an hour ago,? answered Jackie. ?Good,? said Eli. ?It's a school night. And I think she's got the right idea,? she adjusted her sleeves. ?I'm going to bed,? Eli walked past, and out of the room. Jackie leaned forward to peer around the corner and then sat back. She pulled out her little black book and opened it. She made a mark with her pencil. ?Someone less creepy,? she mused. *** Avery couldn't be depressed today. It was her favorite time of year. The auditions for the 4th/5th/6th grade school plays were today. Avery lived for this. Ever since she got the lead in the 1st grade play she'd caught the acting bug, and managed to take the lead every year since, even narrowly beating out Bobby Sullivan the year before. Even with her recent financial shortcomings Mom had managed to keep Avery in her weekly acting classes, she was grateful for that. They never knew what the plays were going to be until they found out how many students were auditioning, so they got to go up and read anything they wanted. Avery really loved that. This year she planned on performing a monologue from Julius Caesar. Brutus, she thought. It was a little more advanced than what they were really looking for but Avery knew she could do it backwards in her sleep. She sat in one of the coarse burlap seats of the school's theater waiting in line for her audition. So far she hadn't seen anything to take note of. She had this in the bag for sure. ?Next,? said Mr. Hayek, the drama coach. Up to the stage walked the next audition. Avery recognized it immediately. That swagger, that unearned smirk, that spiky golden-blond hair, those deep emerald green eyes, that annoying self-assuredness. ?Sullivan,? she muttered. ?Oh Bobby,? said Mr. Hayek delighted. ?Back again I see. Good, good. You may begin as you wish.? Bobby cleared his throat. ?Incredible. One of the worst performances of my career and they never doubted it for a second,? he shrugged his shoulders and leveled out his smirk into a much more subtle variant, drooping his eyebrows slightly. ?How could I possibly be expected to handle school on a day like this? This is my ninth sick day this semester,? He turned away from the audience and paced, shaking his hands in mock frustration. ?It?s getting pretty tough coming up with new illnesses.? ?Wasn't this from some old movie?? Avery thought. ?And he's doing a soliloquy about skipping class. That's bold,? Still she couldn't help but feel like this was the first example of actual acting she'd seen all day. Everyone else had just recited lines that they had memorized. ?If I go for ten I?m probably gonna have to barf up a lung. So I better make this one count,? Bobby turned back to the audience and chopped his palm resolutely. ?The key to faking out the parents is the clammy hands,? he held out his palms. ?It?s a good non specific symptom. I?m a big believer in it. A lot of people will tell that a good phony fever is a dead lock. But you get a nervous mother, you could wind up in the doctor?s office. That?s worse than school,? he could not help but smirk at this line, and it evoked a giggle from a few students in the audience. ?You fake a stomach cramp, and when you?re bent over, moaning and wailing, you lick your palms. It?s a little childish and stupid. But then, so is high school. Life moves pretty fast. If you don?t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it,? He shrugged again, then paused, and bowed. ?Very good Bobby,? said Hayek, clapping sincerely. ?You can step down now. Next.? There were several other auditions before Avery was called up for her turn. ?Oh Avery,? said Mr. Hayek with genuine excitement. ?I was hoping we'd see you again this year. Please, please, proceed when you're ready.? ?Julius Caesar, Act two, scene one,? she said and drew a deep breath. ?They are the faction... oh conspiracy,? she put a somber and sincerely contemplative look upon her face, looking slightly away from the main audience. ?Shamest thou to show thy dangerous brow by night, when evils are MOST free?? her performance was questioning, scolding, but subtle. There were no big movements or hammy unnecessary variations in the tone or volume like one often sees with amateurs trying to do Shakespeare. ?Oh, then by day where wilt thou find a cavern dark enough to mask thy monstrous visage!?? she increased her pace at this, turned up her chin and raised a hand in judgment... but then took another deep breath and slowed down again. ?Seek none conspiracy,? she lowered her head again, a more dower tone than before. Earnest. Advisory. ?Hide it in... smiles, and, affability,? she made short pauses as if considering the words for the first time, rather than having them memorized from a script. ?For if thou path,? she raised a single finger. ?thy native semblance on, then Erebus itself were not dim enough to keep thee from prevention.? ?Bravo,? said Hayek. ?Well done again,? he made a note on his clipboard. ?If that is all you may step down. Next.? *** ?No way? Rick Travis again?? asked Jackie, the three neo-women sitting around the dining room table. ?That's what, three times now? That's two more than anyone else.? ?It's not what you think,? her sister responded. ?We're discussing a job.? ?Most of us only need one job interview Ellie. You sure you're not doing a little extra convincing?? quipped Monica as she hovered over her coffee. ?I'm sure it wouldn't take much convincing to get him to hire my... younger... prettier sister,? said Jackie talking through her teeth at the words 'younger' and 'prettier.' ?Is he hot?? Monica inquired looking at Jackie. ?He's got sort of a silver-fox thing going on,? Jackie answered. ?Oh so he's older?? Monica asked. ?No,? said Jackie. ?I guess he's one of those guys who lost his color the moment he turned thirty, but he's in really good shape.? ?But is he cute?? ?I'm not listening to this,? announced Ellie lyrically. ?One of the lessons you're gonna have to learn El,? said Monica. ?is that no woman's life scores a 100 on the Bechdel test. The biggest step on a morph's road to acceptance is a man. My advice is to take it.? Just then the front door rattled and swung open, in walked Avery with her backpack over her shoulder. ?Hi aunt Jackie, hi Monica,? she said. ?Hey sweetie,? said Jackie. ?'Sup little sister?? said Monica. ?How was your audition?? Ellie inquired. ?It was okay,? Avery answered. ?No slip ups or blocks. We won't know about parts until Monday though. I'm going to my room now.? ?Alright baby,? said Ellie as she watched Avery disappear into the hallway. ?So would you tell that to her?? she looked at Monica. ?My advice is not suitable for girls of all ages,? responded Monica matter-of-factly. ?But kids are adaptable. Little mummichogs they are. She'll get there, in her own way.? Avery looked up at the ceiling. She always got a little nervous waiting after auditions. She was pretty sure she would get the lead again but she was never as sure as she wanted to be. She'd played Robin Hood, King Arthur, and Peter Pan. She wanted to play Lear, Macbeth, Orestes. Of course she knew none of these were very likely for a 5th grade school play. She'd be satisfied with Of Mice and Men but figured the play list read a lot more like a Disney animated film catalog. She knew though that whatever the play, whatever the part, Avery was gonna be the best performer on that stage. She wasn't about to be upstaged by... Bobby Sullivan. *** She was ecstatic the next Monday when in the middle of class she heard the announcement over the PA for the auditioners to report to the auditorium. So now she sat in the theater seat among the other students waiting impatiently. Mr. Hayek trotted out on stage with a tablet in hand and faced the students. ?First of all,? he said. ?I thank all of you for your participation. We tried to find parts for as many of you as possible and in an attempt to fit our auditioners as closely as possible we've decided on a certain play. That play is, Sleeping Beauty.? ?I called that,? Avery murmured quietly. ?The first part will be played,? Hayek said. ?by Avery Taylor...? ?Yes!? Avery cheered whispering. ?...as Princess Talia.? ?WHAT!?? *** Avery paced back and forth off stage. ?Well I got the lead alright, in the WRONG play!? she thought. ?Of course Bobby got Prince Phillip,? the thought turned her stomach. ?Yech... But they gave Yvonne the Ogre Queen, that's one bit of casting I can't argue with.? ?Okay in this scene,? said Mr. Hayek. ?Kelly, um, the bad fairy, disguised as the old maid, will be working on the spinning-wheel. That,? he held up his fingers to frame the point. ?is where our grown up princess comes in,? he motioned Avery to come on stage. She dragged her feet across the stage. ?Now remember. You've never seen a spinning-wheel before.? ?I never have seen a spinning-wheel before,? she grumbled. ?As I was saying. You've never seen a spinning-wheel before. So I want you to show curiosity, a bit of wonder.? Avery took a deep breath. ?What strange noise is this I hear?? she said. She fluttered across the stage, almost floating, girlishly, but this time consciously. If it was a princess she was assigned, then a princess she would be. ?Maid, what thing is this?? her curiosity was practiced and authentic. This disaster that had befallen her over the summer, it had already ruined too much of her life. She wasn't going to let it take this. She wasn't going to quit, she was going to play her part and do it as well as any other. It was a challenge. It had a rich tradition. She wouldn't have let such a part scare her away from the Globe and it wouldn't happen here either. ?It is a spinning-wheel,? said Kelly, rather woodenly. ?It is a magic thing, a secret thing.? ?A secret you say? But why?? Avery asked. ?King Stefan forbade them in the kingdom. I should not speak of it,? Kelly recited. ?What magic does it do?? ?Well, if you insist,? said Kelly. ?who is an old maid to refuse your curiosity? Come little Briar Rose. Sit here.? Avery drifted over and sank down on her knees, sitting next to Kelly but making sure to sit offset enough that from the audience perspective they could both be seen. ?It turns wool to yarn,? Kelly said, pretending to whisper. ?And in a tenth the time as the walker upon the lanes.? ?But why?? asked Avery, disbelief coming through. ?Why would Father ban such a marvel?? ?Who can say?? Kelly shrugged. ?Some capris of the crown.? ?'Caprice' Kelly,? Mr. Hayek interjected. ?It's 'some caprice of the crown.'? ?Some caprice of the crown,? Kelly corrected. ?Or ir, ir-rational fancy of men. What woman can say what men think?? Avery visibly rolled her eyes at this line. ?Next they'll forbid us the quern and leave us only the peddle.? ?'Pestle' Kelly,? said Hayek. ?Next they'll forbid us the quern and leave us only the pes-sil,? she said. ?So thoughtless,? said Avery. ?Good,? said Hayek. ?Now. Avery. You'll look up at the wool. I want to see wonder. Reach out for it. You're almost hypnotized.? Avery gazed at the cardboard prop like it was a shining treasure chest. Her eyes climbed upward to the clump of glitter dirtied wool that hung there. She reached up mesmerized, her hands drifting to it like they were taken on a slow tide. Her fingers penetrated the wool and suddenly she shrank back, as if having come in contact with a hot stove. ?Ah!? she shrieked. ?I bleed!? ?Careful little Briar Rose,? said Kelly. ?These old dis-staffs can be tre, tre-acherous.? ?I feel strange Maid,? said Avery. Her eyes almost glazed over. ?Almost... faint.? ?It is but the sight of blood my dear,? said Kelly. ?Lie down, and rest but only a moment.? Avery swooned, Hayek was almost genuinely concerned for her health. And she fell to her side right in the middle of the stage. ?And scene!? announced Hayek. ?Mr. Hayek, why do you have to give me all the hard words!?? Kelly complained. ?Well done Avery,? he said ignoring Kelly. ?I almost believed the magic.? ?Well,? said Avery rising to her hip. ?I know what it feels like to be cursed.? *** Avery was in agony. Not only had she been forced to lie motionless in the middle of the stage for three straight scenes, she'd had to listen to Bobby Sullivan acting half that time. ?Here in this castle they are scattered about,? monologued Bobby. ?not even ghosts, but merely statues, painted in the guise of flesh. Yet here,? he motioned to Avery's prone form. ?here is one apart from them. She sleeps alike to them, but yet, to my heart she is more alive,? he knelt down beside the pedestal where Avery laid and put his hand on her arm. ?She is warmer. Is it only the rays of the sun? Or is it her unequaled beauty that tricks my senses into thinking so? Of all the chambers in this haunted hidden castle, which my people have avoided these last hundred years, this one, this alone gives me no mind to dread. It is the only frozen chamber that bids my heart not to flee. No. It tells me to stay. To keep this fixed company. Bravery has at last escaped the heart of bold Prince Phillip, the harrower of the haunt. For now I fear too much to leave.? ?Good,? said Mr. Hayek giddily. ?Now kiss her, on the cheek.? Avery could not help but wince at hearing this but kept still. She heard Bobby's breath as he leaned in close to her and, hiding his face behind her head, he mimicked the faint sound of a smooch. Avery raised her hand to her brow and without opening her eyes said, ?I hold your council good Old Maid, for I feel the heaviest weariness upon my head.? Bobby shot to his feet. ?By the Lord you live!? he exclaimed convincingly. ?I have not been fooled! My soul soars at it. Though is stayed somewhat by the pronouncement of the title of 'Old Maid.'? ?Who are you?? Avery demanded sitting up. ?Where is the sewing maid? And, and how do I come by my bedchamber?? ?I am Prince Phillip of the west,? said Bobby affecting pride. ?I know not of a sewing maid or how you came to your bedchamber for I fear it was too long ago to guess.? ?Then you should perhaps have asked one of the servants whom you surely passed on your way to so boldly ingress upon a maiden's quarters,? Avery said with actual scorn. ?I passed them yes, but alas they were in no condition to be put upon by questions.? ?Enter the lackey,? instructed Hayek. A fourth grade boy entered from off stage. ?Princess! Princess Talia!? he said with mock surprise. ?We are awake, YOU are awake!? he stopped as he pretended to first spot Bobby. ?Who are you?? he demanded as he drew an invisible dagger from his non-existent belt. Bobby likewise unsheathed an imaginary sword. ?Stay your sword young prince,? said Avery. ?Lest you would brave another hundred like him to make your escape.? ?I would fight another thousand like him, nay a thousand knights on horseback if only to return to your side,? said Bobby. He looked back to where Avery was sitting. ?Though I think it perhaps unwise. I wouldn't want to risk the grave before I have so much as heard my name from your lips,? he turned back to the lackey and dropped to a knee. He held out his hands as if presenting his unseen sword. ?I surrender. Take me to your king should he too have awakened so that I might make my intentions known,? he turned his head back to Avery and nodded in veneration. ?Princess... Talia.? ?And scene,? said Hayek. ?Bravo. Bobby, Avery, magnificent job remembering your lines! I sometimes think I get too poetic for this stage, but you two are on a high enough level I think! Well done. Splendid!? *** ?And you say she got the lead?? he asked. ?Oh yes,? said Ellie. ?She always gets the lead. It's the fifth year in a row. She's always been very passionate about acting.? ?And it's Sleeping Beauty you say?? Rick continued, putting down his fork. ?Um-hm,? Ellie affirmed. ?They've been in rehearsals for the last month.? ?Well if she looks anything like her mother I'm sure they knew what they were doing at casting,? he said. Ellie visibly blushed. She gazed at him. He was sharply dressed, his well-kempt hair gleamed in the light of the restaurant like polished silver coins. His face was clean shaven, his featured square as if cut from a thin block of stone. She wasn't sure why she seemed to like that so much. He had a bit of a Roman nose but she found herself caring less and less over time. ?I'd like to meet her sometime. I don't have much experience with kids,? Rick admitted. ?Perpetual bachelor,? he shrugged. ?Oh so you've never been married?? Ellie probed. ?Never,? he said. ?Though Jackie tells me you had a wife?? ?Oh, yeah,? Ellie said nervously. ?I really don't want to think about it,? she suddenly realized how little she HAD thought about it. These last few months had been so hectic she'd barely had time to. ?I understand,? said Rick. ?I do suppose you're somewhat confused right now.? ?I feel..,? her gaze wandered. She suddenly leaned on her wrist and looked him in the eye. ?You know I don't know how I feel. Less confused by the day if I had to say. I mean look at me,? she turned her attention down toward herself, her hip-hugging black capris, her featureless black flats, her sleeveless white button-up not quite all the way buttoned up. ?It's not THE most feminine outfit in the world but three months ago I would have never dreamed I'd be caught dead in anything like it.? ?It's lovely,? Rick said. ?The makeup too.? Ellie blushed again. ?Thanks,? she averted her gaze. ?Jackie helped with it.? ?I can see the influence,? he said. ?How did you two meet anyway?? ?Oh there's nothing to it really. Have you heard of the Serenity Resort?? ?Yeah,? answered Ellie. ?Jackie's talked about it. It's a zeeg resort that they set up. I thought it was just for gynomorphs?? ?Gynomorphs and men,? he corrected. ?Mostly for the benefit of the gynomorphs mind you. Well I had some vacation days coming up, a co- worker dared me to spend them there. Your kind was sort of a curiosity for us at the time I'm ashamed to say. Jackie was staying there, we hit it off. The resort encourages dating you know. I learned to appreciate you, um, as in morphs, while I was there. You're really just women, more women than women it feels like sometimes. You have your own idiosyncrasies as a class of course but I've never looked at you the same way since.? ?She never told me she's stayed there,? Ellie pondered. ?Now I wonder where she got the money.? ?I'd be happy to take you there sometime. Avery too, though, she'll have to stay at the day-care resort, for the under 18s, while she's there. The main resort is a little... PG13 if you get me. I hear it's very nice though. We spoke to a lovely young woman named Bunny who worked over there.? ?Oh no, that's too ostentatious,? Ellie objected. ?...Bunny?? *** They could hear the murmur of the crowd even from behind the curtain. Ellie and Jackie knelt on either side of Avery behind a partition. Jackie brushed color onto Avery's face while Ellie laced up the back of her costume. Avery was mortified. Never before, outside of her gym shorts, had she worn ANY girls' clothes and now they had her stuffed into a yellow costume store princess dress. ?Aunt Jackie!? she complained, trying not to inhale too much powder. ?You don't know how to do stage makeup!? ?Hush baby. You don't know how to do girls' makeup,? she retorted. ?Jackie I don't know how to do this,? said Ellie almost panicked. ?Spin sweetie,? Jackie told Avery. Avery turned around and Jackie fixed Ellie's mess while Ellie adjusted the hennin and sheer coif on Avery's head. ?All set,? Jackie announced and the two women stood away and looked the girl over. ?Oh... my... God. That is precious!? Jackie squealed. ?You're beautiful,? Ellie gushed. Both women almost melted. ?I want to die,? said Avery. *** Bobby mugged for the audience as he was one to do. But he played his part competently and comfortably. He wore his prince costume with far more ease than did Avery in her princess garb. He stood behind the dais where Avery laid and articulated his lines. ?Here in this castle,? he said. ?they are scattered about, not even ghosts, but merely statues, painted in the guise of flesh. Yet here,? he motioned to Avery's prone form just as before. ?here is one apart from them. She sleeps alike to them, but yet, to my heart she is more alive,? he approached where Avery lie only this time he did not kneel. He looked down on her. His heart skipped a beat. He wasted precious seconds on silence. ?She, um, she is warm... warmer. Is it only the rays of the sun?? he tried to regain his composure. ?Or is it her unequaled beauty that tricks my senses into thinking so?? she hadn't looked like this before had she? Was it the lighting? Was it the color on her cheeks? The rouge on her lips? The paleness of the stage white? Why did she seem so... different? ?Of all the chambers, all the chambers... in this haunted... hidden castle, which my people have, have, a-avoided these last hundred years, this one, this alone gives me no mind to dread. It is only, THE only frozen chamber that bids my heart not to flee. No. It tells me to stay. To keep this fixed company,? he finally knelt down. ?Bravery has at last escaped the heart of bold Prince Phillip, the harrower of the haunt. For now I fear too much to leave,? his acting in those last lines seemed almost more subtle, more sincere. And then he kissed Avery, actually, on the lips. Avery's eyes shot open as if a bucket had been dumped on her head. Cheers and aws emanated from the crowd of soccer moms. ?BOBBY SULLIVAN!? Mr. Hayek whisper yelled from just off stage. Ellie sat motionless, stunned in her seat, and Jackie Taylor laughed. *** The rest of the play had gone off without a hitch. While Avery had the equanimity to play it off for the rest of the production, Bobby Sullivan had a harder time doing so at school. It was fuel enough for mockery that a boy would want to kiss a girl, but one that most of the classes still thought of as a boy, that was game over socially. At every recess, every lunch, every time she saw him in the halls the boys had another cruel taunt or name for the boy who had been so popular before. Avery couldn't help but feel sorry for him, something like an ache in her stomach when she witnessed this. It was only because she knew what it was like to be on the receiving end of such behavior she was sure. *** ?I don't know,? said Monica. ?I figured she'd be much better by now. You say she's getting worse?? the group of friends were sitting on a bench and some lawn furniture in the back yard. ?Yeah,? Ellie nodded. ?I don't know. I guess the play was propping up her mood and now that it's done, she's sort of... crashed again.? ?It's the resistance that's doing it,? insisted Jackie. ?She still dresses like a boy, she acts like a boy, she's trying to still BE a boy, and she's not. Hell she'd still be wearing boys' underwear if I hadn't systematically replaced them when I do the laundry. You're welcome for that by the way Sis. But she's consciously trying to refuse what her own heart and instincts want. She's tearing herself up.? ?Well what can I do?? lamented Ellie. ?She already resents me enough. I can't just say 'wear this dress or it's off to bed with no supper.' She'll hate me for that.? Rick leaned forward and placed his hand on Ellie's knee. ?I might have an idea,? he said. *** Mrs. Kovic had just finished serving dinner when her phone rang. ?I don't know any..,? she said as she read the name that came up on her screen. She pushed her chair in and wandered toward the hallway as she answered the phone. ?Hello,? she said. ?I'm sorry do I know you? ... Oh, oh, you mean from... yes... Oh really. ... Oh. ... I'm sorry to hear that. ... Really? ... REALLY? ... I hadn't known,? she paced a bit. ?I see. ... Why? ... I see. I'd be happy to help if I can but I don't know how I would, other than just... Oh no? ... What do you have in mind then? ... Really? ... really? ... How would we get her to? ... Well, yes... Oh, no, definitely yes. If anything could get her to that would. Other than an out and out bribe. ... You think that could work? ... No, I mean I'd be happy to. It almost sounds like fun. ... Okay. ... I'll see about that. Goodbye,? she clicked off her phone, strode back to the dining room and sat down. ?Who was that?? Mr. Kovic inquired. ?Oh it was nothing. Just a sort of parent teacher thing,? she skewered a green-bean with her fork and raise it to her mouth but stopped. ?Yvonne honey,? she looked at the young girl chewing next to her. ?how would you like to have some of the girls from school come over for a sleepover this Friday night?? Yvonne looked up bright eyed. ?Really!? Yes!? ?Okay,? said Mrs. Kovic. ?You can invite any girls from your class that you want, but if you're going to have this sleepover there's one condition.? ?Anything Mom.? ?You have to invite Avery Taylor.? *** ?But I don't want to go to a girls' sleepover!? Avery complained. She stomped her feet in front of the gathering of neo-women at the kitchen table. ?Sorry kiddo,? said Ellie. ?No choice. I have a get together with Rick that night and you can't stay here by yourself.? ?Well what about Aunt Jackie?? Avery petitioned. ?Umm...? sweated Jackie. ?I, uh, I have a date too.? ?With who?? Avery demanded. ?Um... you don't know him. His name is... is... Roy!? Monica swiveled her head with reptilian speed and shot daggers at the eldest Taylor. ?What about Aunt Monica?? Avery pleaded. ?No can do Little Sister,? said Monica turning her face toward Avery but still eyeballing Jackie. ?I'm gonna be out of town this weekend. With MY boyfriend.? ?Shelly?? Avery begged. ?Sorry,? said Ellie. ?she, um, she's... booked up that night. It's actually a good thing Yvonne invited you. I don't know what we would have done otherwise. And I think this means maybe she wants to be your friend. Look, I'm not exactly taking you to the dentist here.? ?No,? said Avery. ?It's worse.? ?So I'll buy you TWO lollipops afterward,? said Ellie. ?Okay, look. I bet it won't be so bad. I bet it'll even be fun, and if it's not, it's just for one day. Do your aunt Jackie and me the favor? Please?? Avery rubbed her neck. ?Uhhhhhhh..,? she groaned. ?Fine. But don't expect me to be a ray of sunshine afterwards.? ?Wouldn't dream of it,? Ellie responded, watching Avery slink back to her room and disappear. ?Sorry Monica,? said Jackie. ?It was the first name I could think of... plus he's really hot and I absolutely would in a heartbeat.? Pop ?OW! You're lucky our bruises don't show Monica!? *** Avery stepped out of the car onto the curb with her backpack over her shoulder and a sleeping bag under her arm. ?I'll come pick you up tomorrow afternoon,? said Ellie from the driver's seat. ?Fine,? answered Avery as she shuffled up the walkway toward the house. When she reached the door she rapped on it twice lightly. A matronly blond woman answered. ?Oh, you must be Avery,? she said. ?I talked to your mom on the phone.? ?Wait, you what?? Avery said confused. ?Anyway, why don't you come inside?? Mrs. Kovic looked up to see Ellie parked in the street, they waved to each other and Ellie pulled away. Inside was nice, an older house with warm, slightly yellow, lighting. It was bigger than Avery's house and it smelled like dinner. ?Have you eaten yet dear?? Mrs. Kovic asked. ?Yes ma'am,? Avery answered. ?Good. Um, Dave, could you show little Avery around, where the kitchen and the bathroom is? I need to take care of something.? A somewhat heavyset man with a mustache stepped out of the living room. ?You haven't been here before right?? asked Mr. Kovic with an air of disinterest. ?Well come on.? Mrs. Kovic marched down the hallway, the sounds of erratic little girls muffled by the woodwork. She turned a doorknob and stepped inside to find a half dozen nine and ten year old girls scattered throughout the room. ?Girls, Avery is here,? she said. ?Mom,? Yvonne moaned. ?why did we have to invite her?? ?Come here,? Mrs. Kovic gathered the air in a gesture to call all the girls forward. She got down on a knee. ?I want you girls to be nice to her,? she said. ?Not because I told you to, but because you want to. Here's what we're going to do. You are all going to treat her just like any other of you. She's just one of the girls here at the sleepover and you're going to treat her just like everyone else. You're all going to be just as nice as to each other and you're going to make her feel welcome. Think of it as a project. I know you like projects. And if you do a really good job I'll, I'll... take you all to the mall tomorrow.? Yvonne grimaced with conflicting feelings. ?Hmm... fine,? she conceded. ?This is the bathroom,? Mr. Kovic motioned to a doorway in the hall. ?You can change in here.? ?I can take it from here Hon,? said Mrs. Kovic approaching from the other side. Mr. Kovic waved his hand and wandered off. ?I can take your sleeping bag for now,? she told Avery. Avery handed her the bag and stepped into the bathroom. She unzipped her backpack and rummaged inside. She found Mom had packed her most neutral pajamas. Plain white ones with a picture of a squirtle on them. Truthfully they were getting too small for her now. She changed into them and put her regular clothes into the backpack. Not knowing what else to do she put her shoes next to the door and went back outside where she found Mrs. Kovic waiting. ?Yvonne's room is this way,? she said. When they came into the room Yvonne and Kelly were sitting on Yvonne's bed, Carmen was playing on Yvonne's computer, and three more girls were sitting on the floor. ?Hi,? said Avery timidly. They looked up at her. ?Be nice!? Mrs. Kovic mouthed silently from behind Avery. ?Hi Avery,? said Yvonne. ?Why don't you come sit down?? Avery tip-toed through the room and sat on the opposite end of the bed from the other two girls. ?I'll leave you girls alone for a while,? Mrs. Kovic said before she swung the door closed. Avery sat quietly as the other girls resumed their chatter. Out of the corner of her eye she saw Yvonne retrieve something from under her pillow and show it to Kelly. It looked to Avery to be a womens' underwear magazine. Avery was puzzled. This seemed like something a little boy would have hidden under his pillow, not a girl. Then she realized what it was. ?Those are the kind of boobs I want,? pointed out Yvonne. ?But her stomach is too blocky,? said Kelly. ?Like, if I had her waist, then maybe.? ?Oh but her legs are too long,? argued Yvonne. ?I don't want to be some giraffe person. I think I'll look more like her.? It never occurred to Avery that girls where, in their own way, as curious about their bodies as boys were. And something else occurred to her too. She looked down at herself. ?What will I look like?? she thought back to perceived futures with the buff action hero physiques and they seemed wrong to her now, silly and uncomfortable. She realized that best case scenario she'd end up growing up to look more like something in that magazine. And creeping into her mind were some of the same notions and ideas that Kelly and Yvonne were openly expressing right then. ?Hey Avery,? one of the girls on the floor pulled Avery out of her rumination. ?Do you want to play with us?? Avery slipped off the bed and down on to the floor where the girls were entangled in a heap of Barbies, scale pink sports cars, and doll clothes. It was strange. Most of Avery's own toys were yet still packed up in moving boxes. She hadn't felt much like playing in so long. Even by herself. She had tried a few attempts at some lone make believe, pretending to be characters that she'd made up a long time ago to entertain herself when she was alone. But lately she'd always rapidly lost interest. ?Umm..,? said the girl, suddenly embarrassed. ?You can be Ken if you want,? she held up the grinning plastic facsimile of a swim-trunk clad, hairless man. ?No wait,? said Yvonne above them. They paused as she sprung to her feet and snaked her way around her vanity and into her open closet, digging through bags, and boxes, and stacks of extra sheets. ?Here it is!? she announced as she reemerged holding a tall, thin, pink box, ripped on the side just enough so that the top didn't close anymore. ?Daddy got it for me once by mistake. He said he wasn't taking it back,? Out of the box she slid a slightly different Barbie doll. ?Her name is Payton. She's a gynomorph doll,? It looked much like the standard Barbie except it had plastic, Ken like hair. Avery was not impressed by the use of diversity to just push out another barely altered doll to the market. Even at her age she could see through the tactic. ?I don't play with her,? said Yvonne. ?Oh, umm..,? she caught herself. ?Beeecause, you can't do anything with her hair,? she affected a smile. ?She doesn't look like she takes earrings either,? noted Kelly. ?We can't get our ears pierced,? said Avery looking down at the doll as she gingerly took it into her hands. ?Well, we can. But they're supposed to close up really fast, so it's not worth it.? ?Right,? said Kelly. ?Mrs. Hill said something about your skin being different. Remember?? ?That's what THESE are for,? said Carmen, sneaking up behind Avery as she was still distracted by the doll. ?Ow!? shrieked Avery, her hands shooting up to the sides of her head, a sharp pinch on her earlobes. ?Wait, wait, don't move!? demanded Yvonne as she rose back to her knees and took a hand mirror from her vanity. ?Look.? Avery gazed at her reflection in the mirror. From her ears hung two small, clear plastic rings filled with water and red glitter. ?They're clip-ons,? admitted Carmen. ?My dad won't let me get my ears pierced. You can always wear clip-ons. Right?? ?Um, I guess so,? said Avery manually holding her own head to the side in order to better achieve a clearer view of her ears. ?So you really don't get scars or anything?? questioned Kelly. ?Umm-mhh,? Avery shook her head. ?I'm not supposed to.? ?You're lucky,? Kelly responded rolling up her sleeve and showing a discolored mark across her forearm. ?I burned myself on a pan forever ago. And they say it might not ever go away.? Avery unconsciously rubbed her knee through her pajama pants, the spot where she had cut herself falling down when she was six. The scar had disappeared weeks ago. ?Think of high-school,? injected Carmen. They were all swapping the clothes on the dolls again mechanically, including Avery. Thoughtlessly she tugged off Payton's toy party dress and wedged her into a tiny ballgown instead. ?We're all gonna have to scrub stuff on our faces, and shave our legs, and wax our armpits. And you're not gonna have to do any of it.? One thing Avery had noticed, besides the most obvious change, was her skin did feel a little softer, a little smoother. Where she had had a tan around her neck and arms, her skin had evened out into a single middle tone somewhere on the pale side of the medium between her formerly tanned and white skin. There was a bump at the door before Mrs. Kovic poked her head inside. She smiled as she noticed the full heptad of little girls sitting together in a circle. ?Yvonne honey,? she said. ?your daddy is done with the living room. You and your friends can go stay in there now.? ?Okay Mom,? she answered. The girls stood up, dropped what they were doing and each found their individual bags. They filed out into the hallway one by one. Yvonne hung back a moment. She grabbed a box from her vanity, stuffed the magazine from earlier back under her pillow, and picked up the Payton doll before heading for the door. She paused. She turned around, put the box on the floor, changed the Payton doll out of her best blue ballroom gown and into an old black dance leotard, then took the doll and the box and followed the others into the living room. Avery walked with the girls into the shallow, square bowl in the floor of the living room. It was walled off by couches on three sides with spaces for steps for access and had an entertainment center and bookshelf on the fourth side. She found her sleeping bag and six others strewn about on the brown shag carpet. Unlike Yvonne's bedroom there was enough room for all of them to stretch out and sleep in here. She laid down on top of her sleeping bag with her head against one of the couches when Yvonne walked past her into the middle of the room and knelt down. ?Channel one-thirty-eight,? Yvonne said aloud and the TV switched from a show about woodworking to a toy commercial where kids were chasing around paper butterflies that were shot into the air by a plastic elephant. Last time she'd seen that commercial Avery remembered Mom telling her they tried pushing the exact same thing when she was a kid. They'd even played the same commercial. Avery believed it, it looked really old and the clothes were pretty out of date. Kelly peered over from where Carmen was braiding her hair. ?What are you doing?? she inquired to Yvonne. Yvonne pulled a little glass bottle out of the box and shook it. ?We're gonna paint our nails,? she grinned. ?Don't get any of that in the carpet,? Yvonne's mother said sternly from the kitchen, as if some supernatural parent sense had been triggered. ?You use paper towels if you're going to do that.? ?We were gonna do our hair,? Kelly pointed out. ?You can if you want,? answered Yvonne. ?But you can't braid Avery's hair.? Avery's gaze drifted nervously to where the other girls were piled up. They grinned at her. ?Avery honey,? said Mrs. Kovic. ?could you please come get this and bring it in there?? Saved by the bell, Avery scrambled to her feet and jogged to the kitchen where Mrs. Kovic handed her a roll of paper towels. She walked back and after handing off the roll to Yvonne crept back to her own corner hoping to be forgotten about. She resumed her former position and her eyes returned to the TV. It was playing the third revival of My Little Pony. Avery didn't see what all the complaints were about. It was the standard cartoon fare of friendship and sharing and helping. It was just done by brightly colored CGI ponies instead of brightly colored CGI turtles. ?Why are turtles better anyway?? she found herself wondering. Occasionally her attention would be stolen away by a loud giggle or an exclamation at pulled hair, but for the most part she just contented herself at watching the show Yvonne had put on. That is until Yvonne appeared standing over her with her box, Carmen and Kelly in tow. ?It's your turn,? she said. ?What?? asked Avery nervously. ?To get your nails done. Do you want to do pink, or red, or... ooh I have blue.? ?I don't want pink, or red, OR blue,? Avery complained. ?Fine,? said Yvonne dropping to her bottom. ?We can do a gloss. Just a clear gloss, there's no color at all.? ?I don't..,? said Avery. ?Please? You'll like it, I promise.? Avery couldn't help but feel like a doll to be played with. ?Huh, fine.? *** Avery tapped her thumbnail with her index finger while Kelly blew across her left fingers and Carmen and Yvonne were busy painting each of her big toes. She was mildly bemused at the alien sensation of the hardened plastic-y covering that reflected the light like clean glass, gripping tightly at her fingernails. ?How do I get it off?? asked Avery, genuinely concerned. ?Nail polish remover, duh,? answered Kelly. ?Ours will just flake off,? said Yvonne, her eyes still fixed on her task. ?just scratch away. The gloss is a little thicker though. It's supposed to go on top to make it stick better. You'll probably have to dissolve it off.? ?What? Why didn't you say that first?? demanded Avery. ?You said you didn't want color,? Yvonne looked up. ?Yeah but... but, I think I would rather have that than something I can't get off!? ?We can still paint over the gloss,? said Carmen. ?That's not what I mean,? returned Avery. ?I've still got plenty of red, and pink, and, oh, I have glittered too,? said Yvonne. ?I even have yellow and green and...? Avery's eyes narrowed. *** Avery sat on her sleeping bag, her hand splayed out in front of her, every nail a thick candy purple, every toe the same. When a shadow loomed over her she looked up to see Yvonne standing there again, her hair in a half dozen different braids of different styles and lengths, all clearly done by different persons, each fingernail painted a separate color. ?Here,? said Yvonne, holding out the Payton doll. ?What?? asked Avery with guarded confusion. ?You can have her,? and she dropped the doll lightly onto the edge of Avery's bag. ?I don't play with her and... and I don't think you have any dolls.? ?Of course I don... I... I..,? Avery's eyes sank down to the little plastic figure staring up at her, and she scooped it up. ?She's like you,? Yvonne said. ?It makes more sense if you have her.? She actually reminded Avery more of Mom. The hair was a closer color and she definitely wasn't a kid. Then it hit her. Those were the things she thought of, hair color, how grown up she was. Not the big fluttery eyelashes, the pink lips, the essence of the feminine rendered in plastic. Hair color, and age. Those were the things that were different about her. It hadn't disturbed her for a moment to be compared to this simulacrum of the archetypical feminine. Truth told it hadn't for some time. She'd gotten used to the female pronouns, she hadn't objected even once to Monica's addressing of her as 'Little Sister,' or confronted Aunt Jackie about swapping out all her briefs with girls' unmentionables. Three months ago if a bunch of girls had tried saddling her with earrings or painting her nails she'd have fought them off tooth and claw. She reached up to her ears. She was still wearing them. She unclasped them from her ears and looked down at her hands. A doll in one, earrings in the other, nails glossy purple. ?You're right, sniff, you're right.? ?Um, why don't you come over here with the rest of us?? Avery looked up, her cheek was wet. ?Okay,? she smiled. *** The music blared loudly, a soft-metal tune just to keep the pace up. Ellie was dressed in black bike shorts and a black sports bra, sweat sheening on her bare abs and thighs. She was doing squats in the living room when Jackie walked in through the door. ?Trying to maintain our figure eh Little Sis?? she teased. Ellie stood up and wiped the perspiration from her neck. ?I thought you said you had a date with Monica's boyfriend tonight?? ?Bitchy,? codded Jackie. ?So how's our evil scheme coming along?? ?It's not a scheme Jackie,? Ellie insisted. ?Oh well I didn't mean to interrupt your date with RICK then. Since that was obviously the truth. I don't know why you aren't going out tonight honestly,? Jackie pondered for a moment. ?Hey you want to go to the club with me?? Ellie looked at her, still catching her breath. ?... let me take a shower.? *** Avery pried her eyes open, the first creeping orange rays of the sun the only light in the room. It was warm in here, cozy. She didn't move. Carmen's head was on her arm. Another girl's legs were draped over the top of her sleeping bag. This was the first time she'd woken up that she could remember that she felt... comfortable. She didn't hate herself, she wasn't sad or angry. She wasn't even bothered by the pervasive scent of waxy makeup or floral shampoo that surrounded her. She actually kind of liked it. She thought that was strange since she'd heard gynomorphs weren't supposed to have a particular affinity for it. She didn't want to get up. ?Everybody get up.? ?Uhh...? ?Come on girls, up,? Mrs. Kovic clapped as she marched in. ?People live in this house you know. And Mr. Kovic is going to want his coffee.? The collection of girls groaned and tripped over each other as they struggled to wake up. One girl got an elbow to the chin, the one lying half-way over Avery couldn't sit up, and Yvonne fell partially off the couch. They wormed their way out of their sleeping bags and endeavored to get their bodies moving. ?Off, off,? Mrs. Kovic insisted. ?to Yvonne's room. You'll have to take turns showering in the hallway bathroom and changing. By then I think, yes I think by then it will be time to go to the mall,? she smiled. Suddenly they were very awake. They all cheered. Even Avery felt a twinge of excitement in her stomach. The girls rolled up their sleeping bags and Avery stuffed her doll into her backpack. ?Oh, here,? she said, suddenly remembering. She reached into her pajama pocket. ?Carmen. Here's your earrings back.? ?Keep 'em,? said Carmen. ?I lose them all the time. I only brought those because they were the last pair in a set I had left.? ?Oh, um... okay,? said Avery and dropped them into her bag. Yvonne came up behind Avery and locked arms with her. ?Come on,? she said, and dragged her off. They all played in Yvonne's room, and were called away one at a time only to return dressed. By the time Avery was tying her shoes Yvonne's mom had breakfast done. It was mostly a lot of waffles, milk, toast, orange juice, and a copious amount of maple syrup. Yvonne's dad just grabbed a mug of coffee and a couple of sausages and left for the day. Kelly for some reason put dill pickle chips on her toast which was considered somewhat audacious by the present company. Avery couldn't help but feel the exuberance of the table full of girls was infectious. There was an unrestrained energy in that kitchen which Avery had only ever observed in the past. She had never participated. She was part of it now, right in the middle of the giggling, and ribbing, and stories. She didn't have any stories of her own, but she replaced that with answering more questions about gynomorphs to the best of her understanding. Some of them were uncomfortable but she would just blush and try to answer anyway. The atmosphere continued into Mrs. Kovic's van, where all the girls packed in on their way to the local mall. There was a time when Avery would have considered that hell, but she was actually having fun. ?Okay we're all going to stick together, you hear?? said Yvonne's mom as they all piled out of the van at the mall parking lot. ?I'm gonna get in big trouble if I lose any of you so nobody wanders off. I mean it. So where do we want to go first?? ?What about Flabbergast's?? suggested Kelly. ?Do they still have a Build-a-Bear?? inquired Carmen. ?Ooh, yeah,? stated Kelly. The idea seemed to meet with general approval. ?Did everyone's parents send them money?? questioned Mrs. Kovic. The responses were broadly affirmative. ?Okay,? she said. ?I'll buy lunch, otherwise if you use up all of your allowance you're reduced to window- shopping. Got it? Let's go.? Avery had never been to the Build-a-Bear before; Kelly and Carmen were more than happy to walk her through the process. She decided to make something small and plain. She put it in a tawny fur with a blue polo- shirt, though Kelly insisted she put a similar colored bow on it as well. Carmen made one with darker fur and a mermaid tail, Kelly a pink one with a white headband and a tutu, and Yvonne made a white one with a yellow cheerleader costume. Of all the girls, Avery couldn't help but feel her creation was the most vanilla. As they herded through the main thoroughfare Avery's mood began to slide back down again. The teddy-bear under her arm began to droop and her eyes found themselves scanning lower and lower across the floor. She would feel her cheeks burning when people looked at her. ?What's the matter Avery?? inquired Kelly. ?Not having fun?? ?No I,? she attempted to answer. ?I don't know. I feel weird. Like, I don't like people looking at me. Feels wrong.? ?Well duh,? said Yvonne. ?Sure you do.? ?What do you mean?? demanded Avery. ?Well look at us,? Yvonne held out her arms and motioned to the girls. They were all the typical pre-teen popular girl sort, little sleeveless pullovers with pictures of Rarity or Applejack on them, mid-thigh shorts, skirts, maybe some skinny khakis, frilly socks, bracelets and plastic necklaces. Their hair was all long and styled, some of them re- braided in the van. A couple of them wore as much of their own attempt at makeup as their parents would allow. ?Now look at you,? Avery was wearing jeans, blue and white sneakers, a grey and white sweatshirt with a picture of a race car on it, her hair was short and messy. The bear and her painted fingernails were the only things about her that didn't scream 'boy.' ?You kinda stand out in this crowd.? ?Well what..,? muttered Avery. ?I..,? her face began to glow fire engine red. Her eyes started to well up again. ?Oh jeez..,? said Yvonne scratching the back of her forearm. ?Umm, okay. I have an idea. Mom!? she called, finally breaking Mrs. Kovic's attention from the antique shop she'd been staring into. ?We're going to Flabbergast's,? she took Avery by the hand and led the group away. ?How much money does everybody have?? she demanded as they hustled off. Flabbergast's was far and away the girliest twelve-and-under clothing store Avery had ever personally set foot in, and those feet almost had to be dragged over the threshold. She was drawn along from rack to rack, any and all protestations drowned out by the erratic whirlwind of pre- teen shoppers holding articles of clothing up against Avery's frame and conducting short, rapid debates that she could barely follow. When Yvonne felt like she had sufficient items cloaked over her arm she and Kelly pulled Avery over to the changing rooms where they took her inside. The other girls waited outside and listened intently to the bumps and bangs, and objections, and adolescent equivalents to profanities. Suddenly Kelly popped back out by herself, her eyes wide. ?Wow,? she said. ?What is it?? one of the girls demanded. ?Nothing,? said Kelly. ?It's just that... she really IS a girl.? ?Shut up Kelly!? they heard muffled from inside. ?Kelly come back,? Yvonne ordered. ?I need help.? After a few minutes Yvonne popped her head back out and motioned for Carmen. She handed Carmen a stack of clothing tags. ?Tell my mom we want to buy these,? she instructed. When Carmen returned Kelly and Yvonne slipped out of the changing room while keeping the door as tightly closed as possible. ?Okay,? said Yvonne gripping the edge of the door. ?I present for your approval, um, drum roll please,? Kelly began to pat against the changing room wall. ?the all-new Avery Taylor!? she flung the door open and there Avery stood sheepishly, her face beet red. She wore a pink and purple long-sleeved pullover with broad diagonal stripes and ruffles at the wrists, black footed tights covered by a pink skirt with pale blue pleats held on with a black belt with a round silvery buckle, and a black choker. ?Ta-dah!? She was transformed. No longer did any of them see the shy boy, not even the dressed-down tomboy, but the image of a little girl, albeit with a bit of a tomboy coif. She was to any honest eye, while perhaps lacking a bit of their confidence, as pretty as any of them. ?Oh, my... huh!? Mrs. Kovic was amazed as she approached. ?Is that little Ave... No!? Look at you! Come here,? she took Avery gently by the shoulders, pulled her away from the stall, and turned her back to the mirror. ?Look at you. You are... wow. Wait, wait here.? Avery finally looked at herself. ?Is that..?? she whispered. She expected to see a boy in a skirt but that wasn't this. This was a girl. Just... a girl, like all the others. Was this even her face? It looked like it. She couldn't for the life of her discern any marked or measured changes from the last time she looked at it but suddenly this was not the face of a boy. Yes, perhaps her eyebrows were a little pronounced but lots of girls pulled that off and didn't look like boys for it. She caught herself mentally arguing in that favor but she didn't stop herself. It was true. The word 'boy' didn't fit anything about this, not even the hair in her mind. This person reflected back at her was a girl. And she felt... relieved. She wasn't ecstatic, or depressed, or angry. She didn't feel better than she ever had just, cathartic, liberated. This was her skin, and it fit. It was just as good as her old one. Not better, but not worse. ?Here,? said Mrs. Kovic returning with a little white handbag in tow. ?Take this. Get your wallet out of your jeans and put it in this. This one's on me. Keep it held close though,? Avery did as she was told and slung the bag over her shoulder. ?Here give me your old clothes, let me see if I can get a shopping bag to put those in, and your bear. And give me the tag off of that handbag. I was so excited I didn't take the time to pay for it.? The transaction complete, the girls all herded out back into the main thoroughfare. ?So where do you want to go next?? asked Carmen. Avery was no longer bothered by people looking at them. *** Ellie pulled the car up to the curb next to the Kovic house. She spotted a gaggle of girls out front chatting and cutting up, they had their bags and quilts with them, seemingly waiting for their own parents to arrive. She also saw Mrs. Kovic there but she didn't see Avery. Ellie waited there drumming on the steering wheel and watching cars go by down the street when out of the corner of her eye she saw Kovic and a girl approaching. ?Hi Mrs. Kovic,? Ellie said looking over. ?where's Aver..,? she trailed off. The girl there looked very familiar but, it couldn't be. She was carrying Avery's sleeping bag and wearing Avery's backpack, but she was also wearing a little white purse and a skirt. This was a little girl. Sure, Ellie's own transformation had been far more dramatic physically but this, it somehow, in a way she could not explain, was more salient in some intangible way. ?A-Avery?? ?Hi, Mom,? she said. She blushed a bit, but this was more out of concern about how Ellie would react than how she actually felt. ?Avery had a little... makeover, as you can see,? said Mrs. Kovic. ?We got her some accessories too.? ?Oh,? said Ellie. She knew this was the plan they'd set up. Let Avery hang out with other girls, encourage the other girls to reciprocate, and maybe Avery would come out of her shell a little. But this? It almost seemed like her shell was only held together with spit and kite string. ?Well, um, what do I owe you?? she reached for her bag. ?Oh don't even think of it,? said Mrs. Kovic. ?I was happy to do it. I had a good time. And I've spent enough on this one over the years that I won't miss it,? she thumbed over her shoulder to where Yvonne was gossiping with Kelly. ?They really seemed to bond the last day or so.? ?I'm, I mean, That's good to hear,? Ellie said, still off balance. ?Um, Avery honey. Why don't you climb in the back seat?? she was afraid that if Avery rode shotgun she wouldn't be able to keep her eyes on the road. ?I should let you go,? said Mrs. Kovic. ?We wouldn't want to make a parking lot out here.? ?Right,? said Ellie as she put the car into drive and shortly thereafter stepped on the gas. ?So,? Ellie looked at Avery in the rear-view. ?did you have fun?? ?Yeah,? Avery answered with sharp sincerity that Ellie had not been expecting. Ellie looked at the clock and saw that Jackie would be off from work in less than an hour. ?Call Jackie's voicemail,? she dictated. ?Calling Jackie's voicemail,? a voice from the dash enunciated robotically. ?Hey Jackie it's Ellie,? she said. ?I want you to swing by the house after work if you can. There's something you have to see,? she smiled. ?End message.? click Ellie looked back in the mirror to see Avery simply watching the houses go by contentedly. ?Call Monica's voicemail.? *** Avery walked out onto the school playground. She was back in her normal clothes if only because they were all she currently had. Somehow though she knew it wasn't the clothes. They'd helped her come to an understanding with herself. The girls had too. They were like somebody holding your hand the first time you ride a bike. It helps you get there but then you don't need it anymore, even if it's nice to hold somebody's hand. She realized she'd been standing there thinking for over a minute when a baseball rolled across the ground and bounced off her foot. ?Hey Avery! Toss the ball back!? yelled Russ from the grassy space, flanked by Nick and Kevin. Avery picked up the ball, lifted it behind her head, and tossed it back, using more elbow than she intended. It sailed toward them, falling well short, and bouncing the remaining distance. Nick cracked a sinister grin. ?Avery! You throw like a girl!? he shouted. She grimaced, placed her hands on her sides, tilted forward at the hips, and returned ?I AM a girl!? Carmen ran up behind Avery and lightly bumped into her. ?Hey Avery,? she said grasping her by the wrists. ?You wanna come to my birthday party next week?? ?Sure,? Avery answered gleefully. ?You wanna come play jump rope?? ?Okay.? The two girls skipped off to where the others were leaping and chanting rhymes and the three boys merely watched in stunned silence, pillars of salt. ****** Avery woke up to the blaring of the alarm clock. It took her a half a moment to remember where she was. This room was bigger, the bed was softer. She threw off her covers and sat up in bed. She looked over to the side door. Best of all it had its own bathroom. She switched off the alarm. ?Do they have to make those so abrasive?? she groaned aloud. The best part of summer vacation, no schedules. She stood up and stretched, her camisole coming up well above her bellybutton. She stepped into the bathroom and turned the hot water on in the shower and went to arrange her clothes while it heated up. Rick was already well into the morning news articles on his tablet and his first cup of coffee when Avery came into the kitchen. ?Good morning Rick,? she said still groggilly. ?Nice to see you up with the living for a change,? he quipped without looking up. ?It doesn't look like Mom's up with the living,? she retorted, fetching a banana from the fruit basket. ?That's because your mother had to get up three times last night with Lori,? he said. ?So keep it down, alright?? Avery ran her hand through her still short hair. ?Yeah, yeah,? A high- pitched wail suddenly emanated through the walls. ?Tell that to her, she's the one who didn't get the memo.? ?That's not funny Avery. It's a very tiring thing your mother does. I'm exhausted and she only lets me take every third shift.? ?That's because you have to go to work in the morning and earn the money to buy these,? said Ellie charging in wearing a gold colored nightgown and waving a soiled diaper in the air. ?We are totally out of wipes by the way.? Rick sprung to his feet. ?Hold please,? Ellie said passing to him the wet, crying, bottomless infant she had tucked in her arm. ?Hey, hey, hey,? said Rick. ?Come to Daddy. Shhh, shhh...? Ellie stood at the sink and motioned Rick over when she had determined the water was sufficiently warm. ?You'd better hope this stain comes out little lady,? she said. ?This is my favorite nightie. Avery darling, could you go to our room and fetch me a clean diaper please?? ?Sure thing Mom,? Avery stuffed the last of her banana into her mouth and rose from her chair. ?Whoa, whoa, whoa,? said Ellie, washing the tiny baby girl in the kitchen sink. ?You think you're going to your first day of high-school, dressed... like that?? Avery looked down at herself. ?But it's what the dress code says. White button-up or polo, and a green skirt or khaki slacks.? ?I'm pretty sure that dress code came with some length requirements too young lady,? Ellie insisted. ?You can wear the slacks.? ?But MOM,? Avery whined. ?I'll look like a boy!? ?No you absolutely will not look like a boy Avery. That ship has sailed, delivered its cargo, and has been decommissioned. Besides, you wouldn't have even objected to that once upon a time,? she reached out and received the diaper that Rick had taken it upon himself to deliver. ?Of course back then you weren't trying to get the boys' attention where you?? ?Mooooooom!? ?Okay, Avery, Okay. Go put on some tights under that but next chance we get we're going to get you some longer skirts.? ?Thanks!? Avery beamed. ?Now hurry up before you miss the bus.? *** Avery got her schedule and made her way into the quad. This is where students arriving early would wait before the first period bell. She scanned the faces and it didn't take her long to find some familiar ones. ?Hey!? she squealed. ?Oh hey!? Yvonne pranced over and hugged her. ?How you been?? ?I had a great summer, there's something I want to show you,? she announced. ?Hey you,? interjected Russ as he grabbed her and lifted her off the ground with a hug, she still didn't come to his full height. ?Oh wow Russ, you got big over the summer. And... cute.? ?I'll take your word for it,? Russ said rubbing his neck and blushing. ?Hey Avery what's with the spanx?? Yvonne requested. ?Oh, my mom made me wear them,? she said digging her phone out of her bag. ?She says my skirt is too short.? ?Girl, if I had a butt like yours I'd wear a belt. It's really not fair.? ?And you'd get detention too,? Avery said scrolling through menus. ?I kinda wish we didn?t have to wear uniforms anyway,? said Yvonne. ?But since we do we might as well look good.? ?Check this out,? instructed Avery. She held up her phone and displayed a picture. It showed Ellie in a hospital gown, looking simultaneously more happy and more exhausted than anyone had ever seen her. Her face was drenched and her hair was dark with perspiration, she held a smile so big it looked like it hurt, and against her sweat soaked upper-chest, swaddled in a pink blanket, she cradled the then minutes old Lori. ?Oh my God is that your baby sister?? Yvonne asked. ?Yep. She was born over the summer,? answered Avery. Yvonne turned around. ?Kelly, hey Kelly,? she waved. ?Come look at this!? Kelly squirmed her way through the crowd wearing a uniform much like the other two girls. ?Hey Avery!? she cheered. ?You should have told me she showed up,? they hugged. ?Look at this,? Yvonne motioned to Avery's phone. ?Awww..,? Kelly cooed. ?That's right. You told us your mom was having a baby! She's the cutest thing ever. You've gotta show this to Carmen. I saw her around here earlier but she went off talking to some sophomore boy we'd just met.? ?That sounds about right,? said Avery. ?What's her name?? Kelly requested. ?Lori,? she answered. ?Lorelei Taylor Travis. Taylor's her middle name. It's not hyphenated or anything.? ?So her middle name is your last name? That's weird,? said Kelly. ?Mom wanted us to share part of the name I guess,? Avery surmised. ?Hey you wanna go have a look around?? Yvonne suggested. ?See what we can find? Who?? ?Sure,? they both answered, and the three of them sashayed off into the new school arm-in-arm. *** Ellie laid the slightly snoring infant form into her crib. ?You're lucky you're so cute,? she whispered wearily. She turned around and stepped toward her dresser. There was a picture sitting there of when Rick had taken her to a fancy business dinner, she stood with his arm around her. She was wearing a navy blue mermaid tail gown that she realized now was probably too tight, her gravid belly showing through the fabric. She opened the dresser and changed into a light pink pair of jogging shorts and matching top. ?I've still gotta work off those extra pounds you put on me,? she looked back over the crib. Slipping an earbud into one ear she turned on a light-metal tune and began a routine of every silent exercise she could think of. ?Of course it would be nice if you would sleep at night instead,? she huffed. She thought back to the continuing sleepless nights, spittle in her eye, the constant odor of baby powder, carrying the weight, the swollen ankles, the throbbing feet, the aching back, the most intensely painful eight hours of her life. It was worth it. The day Lori was born was the happiest experience of her life. Not that Avery's birth wasn't marvelous but this was different. Avery was her child and she loved her but she hadn't carried Avery. Lori had grown inside her, kicked and turned, fussed and slept, and she'd felt it all, felt Lori's feelings. That was the greatest beauty of the zeeg neuro- natal link. Not the DNA correction or the chromosomal alteration, but the empathic link. It was like nothing she'd ever experienced. Not just the link itself but the contents of it. The zeeg and gynomorph mothers talk about it sometimes but one can't comprehend it until they feel it. It was beyond the mere maternal connection from a mother to her child, but also those pure, reciprocal feelings unsullied by a sense of language, or reason, piped directly into the soul. For those months Ellie had known the feeling of being someone's entire universe. *** ?Alright girls,? said Mrs. Hathaway, the girls' sex-ed teacher, as she paced by the front monitor. Avery had been pretty distracted by all the gross medical diagrams displayed up there. ?I think, that should conclude today's lesson on menstruation. Though I'm sure you've all experienced this already.? ?I'll say,? Avery thought. That had been one thing Aunt Jackie's initial lessons had skipped, and for good reason. It would have scared the daylights out of the girl. It did scare her half to death the first time it had happened, she thought she was dying. It was the worst five days of her life... until the next month, and the month after that, and the month after that. It was the one thing that still made her sometimes wish she wasn't a girl. ?With that done we should get an early start on the first semester project,? Hathaway said wheeling over a large cart cloaked in a sheet. She lifted off the sheet to reveal rows of plastic life-sized infants with small black devices plugged into their backs. ?How many of you played with baby-dolls when you were younger?? Every girl except Avery raised her hand. ?Any particular reason Ms..,? Mrs. Hathaway referenced her tablet. ?...Taylor?? ?Well,? mumbled Avery. ?You see, I...? ?Avery used to be a boy,? a voice came from the back of the class. Avery turned around and spotted a familiar grinning face. ?Shut up Carmen,? she demanded. ?You didn't want to say it,? Carmen retorted. ?Oh,? said Mrs. Hathaway seemingly a little taken aback. ?Then does all this,? she waved her hand in front of a diagram of a uterus. ?still... apply?? Avery nodded demurely. ?So you're... oh, you're a gynomorph,? Hathaway realized. Avery nodded again. ?Oh that's good,? Hathaway said. ?Then everything in this class still applies. Umm, but I think I'm supposed to go over the extra zeeg material with you. I have some pamphlets here somewhere.? ?It's alright,? said Avery. ?I've been learning that stuff since I was ten.? ?Well for now,? Mrs. Hathaway composed herself. ?These are parenting simulaids. You'll each take one, and for the next two weeks you will treat it as a real child. It will, to the best of its programming, behave like one. It will record your performance and at the end of the project we will reinstall their black boxes and grade you on how well you did. Now. When I call your name, come up, take a simulaid, leave the black box with me, and record your number.? *** ?Who's a little goo-goo-boo-boo?? Monica attempted baby-talk gibberish as she held Lori on the living room couch. Lori cooed. ?Yes, you like your auntie Monica don't you? Who's a good girl, who's a good girl? Do you want to hold her Jackie?? ?No, no,? said Jackie from her own chair. ?You keep her. You're good with her.? ?I ought to be,? said Monica. ?This isn't my first rodeo.? ?That's right,? said Jackie. ?How old is your boy now?? ?He's six,? answered Monica. ?I remember when he was this small though. He's so big now.? ?I should think so,? said Jackie. ?His daddy is a big, hunky mountain.? ?He's MY big hunky mountain, I've told you that before.? Ellie walked in rubbing a towel behind her ear, wearing a strapless blouse and khaki mom shorts. ?Thanks for keeping her while I took a shower,? she said. ?Go to Mommy,? Monica said carefully passing Lori into Ellie's arms just before she took a seat beside her. ?You two were talking about Dillon?? she asked. ?Yeah,? answered Jackie. ?He's a cutie,? said Ellie. ?I can't believe you didn't tell us about him when we first met.? ?I didn't think you were ready for that at the time.? ?Yeah but I might not have hit on Roy so much if I'd of known you had a kid with him,? complained Jackie. ?Yes you would have,? said Ellie, rocking the baby. ?She kinda makes me want to have another one,? said Monica. ?That 'never again' idea you get right afterward fades surprisingly fast. Maybe you should settle down and have one Jackie.? ?Not me,? said Jackie. ?I'm not content to be a housewife like my little sis here.? ?I'M a housewife,? said Monica. ?Ellie's a, a... homemaker. Speaking of, you really should let Rick make an honest woman of you.? ?I made an honest woman of me four years ago,? Ellie quipped. ?And I'm honestly in no hurry to make this all legal.? ?Not even a bride's maid,? said Jackie. ?And that's all I aspire to.? ?Think of it,? said Monica. ?You in a big flowing white dress, me, Jackie, and Avery in some sort of pastel. Wait a couple more years and Lori would make a precious flower-girl I bet.? ?Don't say anything of the sort to Rick,? Ellie demanded. ?I don't want him getting any ideas.? ?Jeez, you'd think sometimes that he was the one who turned into the girl,? Jackie commented. Lori began to wail. ?Oh crap,? said Ellie. ?Monica do you mind taking her back for a few minutes?? ?Why?? she asked. ?Because I have to take another shower.? *** ?Uhhh..,? moaned Carmen as she and Avery walked into the quad. ?This sucks.? ?I know,? responded Avery lifting the simulaid in her arm. ?This thing woke me up twice last night.? ?Mine woke me up three times,? commented Carmen. ?Yeah but I've got a real baby sister and she woke me up twice too. Two rooms away,? retorted Avery. ?This has to count as some sort of academic sabotage,? Carmen complained. ?Hey you two,? Kelly waved as they approached. ?I didn't know you still played with dolls,? Yvonne teased. ?Oh very funny,? responded Carmen. ?It's a project for sex-ed and I happen to know you have to take it next semester. So laugh now.? Yvonne frowned. ?They are not going to make it easy for us to be the most popular girls in school,? she grumbled. ?Nice to see you have your priorities straight,? said Avery. ?It's our destiny,? Yvonne responded. ?Carmen's the saucy cute one, Kelly's the bubbly one, I'm the fashionable, smart, sort of bitchy one, and Avery's the innocent but hot one. We'll have the boys eating out of our hands by sophomore year. It's gonna be a lot harder if they make us walk around with toys though.? ?And grade us on it,? added Carmen. ?You think I'm hot?? questioned Avery. ?Girl,? said Yvonne. ?I don't think you realize how much you've grown up already. Have you looked at yourself? You could pass for 16,? she turned to Kelly. ?See what I mean by innocent?? ?The baby-doll really doesn't help,? Kelly noted. ?But I think Russ likes you.? ?Whatever,? said Avery doubtfully. ?I think all the boys like you,? Yvonne theorized. ?They just don't wanna admit it because you used to be a boy. But that's the awesome thing. New school, new boys, no hangups.? ?Ooh, ooh, yeah. Let's find Avery a boyfriend,? Kelly squealed. ?Shut up,? Avery blushed. ?What kind of boys do you like?? Carmen inquired. ?I don't know,? she answered averting her gaze. ?That means either too picky or not picky at all,? Yvonne declared. ?Shut up!? Avery repeated more forcefully. ?God, you're so mean!? ?I'm just trying to solve a puzzle here,? Yvonne said matter-of-factly. ?You could wrap any boy here around your finger. Hell, I bet you could get a senior if you really wanted to.? ?That's gross,? said Carmen. ?I've only been in high-school for two days and I already know seniors don't date freshmen.? ?Yeah,? agreed Kelly. ?That's like, a crime or something, isn't it?? ?Only for him,? Yvonne said coldly. ?Don't tell me you guys haven't scoped out the seniors. Especially you Avery. I found out morphs like to look.? ?What does that mean?? Carmen asked. ?It's nothing,? Avery said, suddenly acting coy again. ?We just... we're more... visual.? ?It means they like hot guys,? said Yvonne. ?They look at boys like the boys look at us. Totally shallow.? ?That's not what it is!? Avery insisted. ?It just has something to do with how the zeeg work. Their guys... aren't as... visual, because the girls have pheromones. And since the spores where designed to change zeeg guys, that doesn't get turned down as much as it should be for human guys. Something like that.? ?Totally shallow,? Yvonne whispered. ****** Avery woke up with a start to a riotous ruckus. Something had impacted her bed like a medicine ball. ?Oof,? she groaned as the weigh dropped itself on her stomach. ?What are you doing in here Booger?? she demanded as she lifted Lori in her set of hooded unicorn pajamas off of herself at arms length. ?Rawr,? growled Lori down at her sister. ?Did you just roar at me?? Avery demanded. ?I'm a unicown,? Lori answered. ?Unicorns don't roar,? Avery explained. ?... I'm a dinosow,? Lori retorted. ?So what are you doing in here?? Avery repeated putting Lori down beside her and sitting up in her bed. ?Mommy say you gotta go to school.? ?Crap,? exclaimed Avery looking at her nightstand. ?I forgot to set the alarm,? she rolled out of bed in her pink plaid pajama bottoms and matching pink camisole and hurried over to her dresser. ?Avewy can I play with Payton?? Lori inquired already waving the plastic figure around by the feet as if it were a magic wand. ?Yes you can play with Payton,? answered Avery. ?Now get out of here Booger I gotta get dressed.? *** ?Hey girl,? said Yvonne as the girls met before class. ?Avery I KNOW you're excited.? ?Why?? Avery feigned ignorance. ?Because the play auditions are today. Don't pretend you don't still live for that stuff.? ?It's neat that they actually let you try out for specific parts here,? Carmen added. ?I might try my hand again at AUCTING,? she said hammishly. ?What part are you trying out for?? asked Kelly. ?As if we don't know,? Yvonne muttered. ?Juliet,? said Avery. ?Called it,? said Yvonne. ?Some actress who doesn't want to try her range at a bit part every now and then.? ?Every girl tries out for Juliet,? Avery insisted. ?I'm just the one who's going to get it.? ?Ooh, I love you when you're cocky,? Yvonne grinned. ?I don't know about you guys,? said Kelly taking a seat on the edge of a lunch table. ?but I'm totally cutting class to watch you audition.? ?Why don't any of you try out anymore?? questioned Avery. ?Because we already know you're gonna get the best part,? Yvonne answered curtly. ?Besides. That was always your thing more than ours. We just did it back in grade-school to get out of class. It's way easier to skip now that we change classrooms between periods.? ?But Avery would never do anything so deplorable,? Carmen teased. ?Excuse me for actually trying to pass,? said Avery. ?Oh, our grades are fine,? said Yvonne dismissively. ?Tests are no big deal and I can always get that freshman Joey Chambers to do my homework.? ?You have a freshman do your algebra homework?? asked Carmen. ?Your Algebra 3 homework?? ?Yeah,? said Yvonne. ?He's a nerd. And besides if Kelly can do it, a freshman can do it.? ?Heegh!? exclaimed Kelly with someone else's stolen breakfast toast in her mouth. ?Thaf's nogt funnegh.? ?It wasn't meant to be funny sweetie,? said Yvonne innocently. ?Why do we hang out with you?? questioned Avery. ?Because I'm the most charming,? Yvonne proclaimed. *** It was dark in the school theater. It was much bigger than the one from the elementary school and it was always chilly down in the seats. Avery couldn't believe they had made them actually take numbers for audition order. She was tired of waiting, swinging between wanting to fall asleep in the cold and being enraged at hearing another sub-par reading of 'Romeo, Romeo.' ?Retain that dear perfection,? said the girl on the stage woodenly, reading straight from the script in her hand. ?which he owes without that title. Romeo, doff thy name; and for that name, which is no part of thee, take all myself.? Avery stuck her finger in her mouth and affected a gag. She peered over her shoulder to where Yvonne, Carmen, and Kelly were hiding in the back row. They appeared as bored and disinterested at these readings as she. They were obviously just waiting for Avery's turn or just skipping class. As she turned back around she noticed something. Someone, four seats down to her right. She knew him somehow. She scrutinized her own memory until it struck her and she migrated three seats further down. ?What number did you draw?? she asked the tall, broad shouldered boy sitting there. ?Umm,? he checked his ticket. ?Fourteen,? he said drearily. ?Oh,? said Avery. ?Twelve,? she inserted an intentional pause to add an affect of spontaneity. ?What part are you reading for?? ?Mercutio,? he said. ?Oh, oh. That's a good part,? she whispered. ?No one will tease you for that one.? ?Excuse me?? he said, turning his green gaze toward her. ?No kissing scene,? she said. ?You know you were my first kiss?? ?What are you talking about?? he demanded. ?You transferred schools in sixth grade, and I guess I changed more than you did. Still, I'm almost insulted. But truth be told, you do make a good leading man. You should really try out for Romeo.? ?Look, I..,? he began. ?Number twelve!? called the drama teacher from two rows up. ?That's me,? Avery said standing up. ?I guess I'll see you at rehearsals,? she leaned in close to his ear. ?Prince Phillip,? As she skipped away and up to the stage he rubbed his golden blond hair in confusion. ?Your part?? Mr. Fernandez, the drama teacher, asked. ?Juliet,? answered Avery. ?Of course,? he said and made a note. ?You may begin.? Avery took a deep breath. ?Thou knowest the mask of night is upon my face; else would a maiden blush bepaint my cheek,? she fluttered her eyes. ?For that which thou hast heard me speak tonight. Fain would I dwell on form. Fain, fain, deny what I have spoke; but farewell compliment!? Her face was actually red. She had affected an actual blush. ?Dost thou love me,? she spun in place. ?I know thou will say 'aye.' And I will take thy word,? she looked out into the audience, her eyes meeting directly with the boy in the fourth row. ?Yet if thou swear'st, thou may prove false. At lovers' perjuries they say Jove laughs. Oh gentle Romeo,? she took a quick step forward directly toward him, ignoring the assessment of the drama teacher and his assistants. ?If thou dost love, pronounce it faithfully.? The golden haired boy watched her intently. He knew that she was, for whatever reason, talking directly to him. There was something there, a half-decayed memory. Something that made his heart skip. Was it just this girl, her beauty, or was there something more he couldn't access? ?Or if thou thinks I am too quickly won, I'll frown and be perverse,? she did indeed frown, mockingly, and trotted away rear stage, gleefully, teasingly. ?and say thee 'nay,' so that thou wilt woo, what else, but not for the world,? she spun back again to face the audience. ?In truth, fair Montague, I am too fond,? she walked slowly back toward him. ?and therefor thou mayst think my behavior light; but trust me gentleman, I'll prove more true than those who have the cunning to be strange.? His heart skipped again. He knew this feeling now. He'd felt something quite like it before. Where? When? ...no. It couldn't be. Not HER? That kind of transformation was not possible. But he remembered now, how beautiful she'd seemed in the moment. Could that potential of loveliness bear out into this more realized form? It was, undeniably, familiar. ?...Talia?? he whispered. ?I should have been more strange,? she turned away, guarding her gaze. ?But thou overheard'st ere I was ware,? she looked back at him, her blush returned. ?My true love passion. Therefore pardon me and not impute this yielding to light love, which the dark night hath so discovered,? she bowed. ?And, um,? said the drama teacher. ?Your name?? ?Avery Taylor,? she said. ?Oh,? the golden haired boy whispered inaudibly as she stepped off stage. ?Wilt thou leave me so unsatisfied?? Avery strode to the back of the theater and circled the seats to find her way to where her friends were lurking, his attention following her the whole way. ?Always the show-off,? said Yvonne. ?You wanna get out of here?? ?Not yet,? said Avery. ?You don't want to get back to class?? questioned Kelly. ?Not yet,? she repeated. ?Shhh...? They sat through another stiff reading for Benvolio before the golden boy's turn came up. ?And your part?? The drama teacher asked. ?Mer... Romeo,? he said. ?Proceed.? He steeled himself and began. ?Be soft... what light through yonder window breaks? It is the east, and Juliet, is the sun,? he was tempered, deliberate, not hammish or vain. ?Arise fair sun and kill the envious moon, who is already sick and pale with grief that thou her maid are far more fair than she,? his confusion and inner turmoil was transposed as pity for the moon on his brow. ?Be not her maid, since she is envious,? he looked up. ?Her vestal livery is sick and green, and not but fools do wear it... Cast it off!? he threw out a hand. ?It is my lady;? he brought his hands before him. ?OH, it is my love!? he stroked his face and put his fingertips upon his chin. ?Oh that she knew she were,? he looked out over the whole theater, past every row of seats to the very back. ?She SPEAKS, yet she says nothing. What of that? Her eye discourses; I will answer it!? He huffed, and turned stage right. ?I am too bold,? he said with genuine dejectedness. ?Tis not to me she speaks. Two of the fairest stars in all of heaven, having some business, do entreat her eyes to twinkle in their spheres till they return. What if her eyes were there?? he pointed up. ?they... in her head,? he pointed across the theater. ?The brightness of her cheek would SHAME those stars, as daylight doth a lamp! Her eyes in heaven would through airy regions stream SO bright that birds would sing and think it were not night! See... how she leans her hand upon her cheek. Oh that I were a glove upon that hand,? his knees bent and he sank half-way to the floor. ?that I might touch that cheek. She SPEAKS! Oh speak again bright angel, for thou are glorious to the night, being over my head, as a winged messenger of heaven unto the white, upturned wondering eyes of mortals that fall back to gaze upon him when he bestrides the lazy pacing clouds and sails upon the bosom of the air!? he sank down full onto his knees and dropped his head. ?And, um,? the drama teacher said. ?Your name?? ?Bobby Sullivan,? he answered. ?Come on, let's get out of here,? Yvonne insisted, tugging at Avery's shoulder, but Avery just leaned deeply over the chair in front of her and smiled from ear to ear. *** ?No, it was the lavender one with the short puffy sleeves,? said Ellie as she sat at the kitchen table, Lori was in her lap, a crayon held indelicately in her fist, running it over a page out of a coloring book. ?Oh yeah, I like that one,? said Jackie sitting across the corner from her. The door swung open and in came Avery home from school. She trotted across the room, her head swinging side to side, hips bopping back and forth. ?Hi Mom, hi Aunt Jackie,? she said with a little spin before continuing her strut. ?Um, hey baby,? said Ellie. ?Did you have a good day at school?? ?Oh yes,? Avery replied. ?Are you going to need a ride home from rehearsals?? ?I'll definitely get a ride,? said Avery, never breaking pace. ?You wanna get started on your homework?? ?No problem,? she danced her way into the hallway to her bedroom and out of sight. Jackie looked at Ellie, eyes beaming, an open mouth grin that could be seen from space. She popped up and spun around, leaning around the hallway corner. ?Avery, what's his name?? she yelled. ?Bobby!? echoed back. ?What's this about?? questioned Ellie. ?You don't know?? returned Jackie. ?Little Sis, that girl is in love.? *** ?Gregory on my word, we'll not carry coals,? read Johnny Wallace on stage. ?No, for then we should be coillers,? Donny Jeong recited in turn. ?I can't believe you're the same person,? Bobby whispered sitting in a steel folding chair just off stage right. ?There's no way that person turned into... into YOU.? ?Well why not?? Avery asked, her own chair slightly facing his. ?You're, you're... look at you! You're like, wow,? he attempted. ?Spoken like a master thespian,? said Avery snidely. ?Well I mean,? he said turning his chair toward hers. ?You're definitely a girl.? ?You know just what to say.? ?Well, you're, you're..,? he stuttered. ?Bobby just say it!? she insisted. ?Okay..,? he paused, his face flushing. ?You're gorgeous. You're like, not what I'd have imagined.? ?Well I seemed to have an effect on you back then,? she said. ?In the play I mean, Sleeping Beauty. You kissed me right on the lips. Right on the lips! That wasn't part of the play Bobby, it's not what we rehearsed.? ?I don't know what that was,? he said. ?I don't know what I was thinking back then. It was bright, I was nervous, you, you looked... different and I just...? She put her hands on top of his. ?Bobby..,? she said, locking her grey- blue eyes onto his green ones coaxingly. ?You were beautiful,? he confessed. ?You are... beautiful. And I wanted to kiss you.? She leaned forward placing her cheek against his. ?Thus from thy lips, by mine, thy sin is purged,? she whispered. He chuckled, his eyes closed in alleviation from some stress he didn't know he carried. He looked at her. ?Give me my sin again,? he said. They gravitated to each other slowly, their lips were opposite poles of a magnet, they could each feel the other's breath. Inches, centimeters, millimeters... ?Enter Romeo!? shouted Mr. Fernandez. They both looked out at the stage, the moment broken. They smirked and touched foreheads fondly, and Bobby jogged out onto stage. Avery turned her chair back toward the stage and leaned back. She crossed her arms. ?My only love sprung from my only hate.? *** ?Poison, I see, hath been his timeless end,? sobbed Avery kneeling over Bobby's prone body. ?Oh Churl! Drunk all and left no friendly drop to help me after?!? she pounded his chest, harder than she needed to. ?Huh,? she looked up in mock epiphany. ?I will kiss thy lips,? she said. ?God, isn't this just the sweetest reversal of fortune?? she thought, struggling not to smile through her mask of sorrow. ?Haply some poison doth hang on them to make me die with a restorative,? she leaned down over him and pressed her lips against his gently. ?Mr. Sullivan,? the drama teacher Mr. Fernandez said sharply. ?Hmm?? sounded Bobby as he opened his eyes and sat up and looked at Fernandez questioningly. ?Your character is dead, is he not?? the teacher asked flatly. ?Um, yes,? Bobby answered. ?Then why is your hand on her head?? Bobby looked over and realized he'd wrapped his arm around Avery's neck and cupped the back of her head while she had kissed him. She grinned at him broadly. *** Rick sat in his chair reading the news on his tablet, Lori was asleep beside him, wedged into the space between his hip and the armrest. Avery strolled in slyly. ?Daddy?? she said innocently. ?What do you want Avery?? he said not looking up. ?Huh?? she said puzzled. ?My name is 'Rick' Avery, you only call me 'Daddy' when you want something,? he explained. ?Can I borrow the car?? she asked. ?No.? ?Can I stay out past 11:00?? ?No.? ?Oh come on, please!?? she begged. ?Avery look, I..,? he looked up and paused. ?You are not going out in that makeup,? he insisted. Her eyes were shadowed jet black and her lips were painted red as a ripe tomato. ?What!? Why? I bet you'd let Lori,? she said. ?Lori is two years old Avery!? ?You know what I mean,? she huffed. ?No Avery, I'm telling you this precisely BECAUSE I treat you like my own. I would be a failure if I didn't eventually hold her to the same standard.? An engine noise could be heard to pull up just outside. ?Avery it looks like your date is here,? announced Ellie as she strode into the room. ?Okay Mom, thank you,? Avery said nervously. ?you can leave now.? ?Oh I'm definitely meeting him,? she said. The doorbell rang and Ellie was there before Avery could protest. She opened the door and before her stood a tall, handsome, golden haired boy in a blue polo and a track jacket. ?Um, hi,? he said. ?Is Avery here?? ?Hello,? said Ellie exuberantly. ?I'm Ellie, I'm Avery's mom. Come in.? ?I'm Bobby,? he said. Ellie turned into the house. ?Rick, come meet Avery's boyfriend,? she called. ?Oh God,? Avery moaned in shame. Ellie leaned to Avery's ear. ?Avery, he is gorgeous,? she whispered. ?Sir,? Bobby said as he extended his hand to Rick. Rick took it firmly and glared at him. ?I'm holding you responsible for her,? he said. ?Nothing happens to her and she gets back before 11:00,? he ordered. ?No problem sir,? Bobby said. ?Mommy..,? said Lori walking over, rubbing sleep from her eyes. ?Oh hey baby,? said Ellie as she moved to pick her up. ?If you're this sleepy maybe you should be in bed.? ?Bobby, this is my little sister Boo... um, Lori,? Avery explained. ?Hey Button,? he said leaning down to her eye level. ?You don't mind if I take your big sis out tonight do you?? Lori only smiled and buried her face in Ellie's shoulder. ?We should get going,? Avery insisted hooking Bobby's arm and dragging him forcefully toward the door. ?Remember,? called Rick. ?back BEFORE 11:00!? ?He wouldn't let us borrow the car,? said Avery as they walked out into the twilight. ?We'll have to go in your truck.? ?No problem,? replied Bobby. ?She's a beater but she gets there,? and they approached the slightly rusty, white pickup. *** ?Nu-uh! No chance!? she shouted and slapped the ball from his light grip. A basketball court in the park was an unconventional date location but she was having fun. She twisted around and snatched the ball mid bounce, turned, jump-shot. It bounced off the backboard, circled the rim, and sank. ?I let you do that,? Bobby insisted. ?I'm sure you did,? Avery huffed, smoothing her knee length skirt. He put his arm around her shoulder and they walked together back toward their parking space. ?It's getting cold out here,? he said, noticing her slight shiver. ?I can see your breath. Come on, the heater takes a minute but I've got some blankets in the truck. Reaching the pickup he opened the tailgate, climbed up and retrieved a thick brown mantle from the toolbox. ?Let's sit out here a while,? said Avery as she parked herself on the tailgate. ?Your dad said before 11:00,? Bobby said as he wrapped the blanket around her shoulders and sat beside her. ?He's not my dad,? Avery explained. ?He's my mom's boyfriend. He's like, sort of a step-dad I guess. And besides, what's he gonna do? Ground me? I'd rather be out here.? ?Then who's your dad?? asked Bobby. ?My mom,? she answered dryly. ?Wait, what?? ?Yeah. She's like me. I haven?t seen my real mom in a long time,? she said wistfully. ?So she was also..,? Bobby began. ?But she's, she's...? ?Oh is that how it is?? Avery smiled. ?I mean, it's just... those spores really know their business.? She jabbed him in the thigh. ?Her legal name is still Eli, but she's gone by Ellie for years. I guess I was lucky and had a neutral name to start.? ?What about your sister? Is she really your sister?? ?Well, she's my half-sister I guess,? Avery answered thoughtfully. ?I mean, Rick is her dad and Mom's her mom. We didn't come from the same womb or the same seed but we do share half the same DNA so I think that counts.? ?But is she really..?? ?Yes Bobby she's really a girl. She was born a girl. I don't think mom wanted to have a boy after what happened to me. It's like, she'd feel guilty if a little brother got to be a boy and I didn't ya know? So she decided to have a girl.? ?What do you mean decided? Like she went to a clinic or something?? ?No,? she said. ?Zeeg and gynomorph mothers can choose the sex of their kids in the womb. Mom couldn't really explain how she did it but she said it was instinctual. Like using a limb or organ you didn't know you had. But Lori is a normal girl. She's not a morph or anything.? ?If you could go back to being a guy would you do it?? he asked. ?No,? she answered without pause. ?Really?? ?Well would you turn into a girl?? she questioned. ?No,? he said equally fast. ?Well there you go,? she said. ?I'm not a boy who's forced to pretend to be a girl, I am a girl Bobby. I like being a girl just as much as if I'd been born this way. I like, being small, and dressing up, and wearing makeup, and having an hourglass figure and boobs, and liking boys. Mom's the same way.? ?You're kidding?? he said disbelievingly. ?No really. We weren't trans or anything. We were just regular, but like you said, those spores know their business and they do just as good a job inside as out. We are both card carrying members of the nation of Woman, and we like it here. Maleness... that, that's the foreign concept. Mom was a guy for 5/6 of her life and already I can tell you she doesn't even know what it's even like to be one.? ?That's unbelievable,? he said. ?It's hard to explain,? said Avery. ?I remember being a boy. But I don't know what it FEELS like to be one anymore. Have you ever played one of those immersive sim games?? ?Once.? ?Well it's like being shot in a game. You remember it happening, it seems utterly real in some ways, but you still don't know what it's like to be shot. There's not even a phantom limb feeling because all the nerves are still hooked-up, and reprogrammed to their new places. It's academic. Mom could maybe tell you how you, guys I mean, think on a purely logical level, but I don't think she could empathize with those thoughts anymore. I don't know how guys think at all. You're as much a mystery to me as to any girl. Like, I know I peed standing up for half my life, I remember it, but it's still an alien idea. It's something other people do. Boys are... others. She thinks like a mom, I think like a teenage girl. And it fits, because that's what we are.? ?She thinks like a mom?? he raised an eyebrow. ?Sure,? she said. ?You know, dirty diapers, potty training, pinching cheeks, chicken soup for the sniffles, 'wait until your step-dad gets home,' that sort of thing. All the standard stuff.? ?Sounds almost like brainwashing to me.? ?No it's not like that at all,? she insisted. ?We're still our own people. We have our own personalities. We just fall into a... different general category. That's all.? ?So,? he pondered. ?If it were to, hypothetically, happen to me, do you think I'd become a girly girl?? ?I hear that when it's happened to some more macho guys they retained a pretty strong tomboy streak. So... yeah, you probably would.? ?Ouch.? ?Well take my aunt Monica, she's pretty tomboyish.? ?Wait,? he said. ?Aunt Monica? You mean her too, another one? You have the weirdest family tree.? ?She's not really my aunt,? she explained, deciding to hold off on telling him about Aunt Jackie. ?She's just my mom's friend. She's adventurous, she rides bikes, and wears jeans, unless it's a formal occasion; she drinks right out of the milk carton, and tells off-color jokes. At the same time though I've never seen her without lipstick, if she takes you shoe shopping bring provisions because you won't be back for a month, and if you put her in a room with a baby she'll turn to mush.? He pulled her close and she threw half the blanket over his shoulders, sharing with him. ?Let's just look at the stars,? she said. He looked up and mumbled. ?Let's see if that's... Cestus Eta, then Ares is... there...? ?You know stars?? she looked at him wide eyed. ?Oh sure. You always beat me at acting, I had to be good at something.? ?What's that bright one right there?? she tested, pointing into the sky. ?That one?? he said. ?That's... Mirach, um, Andromeda Beta. And if we skip right over Andromeda Mu, that one right there, you know what that one is?? ?Um-mm,? she shook her head. ?That's Andromeda. The galaxy. That point of light is a million-billion stars. All that splendor you see up there is also right there, in that one spot.? ?It's beautiful,? she said, her head craned skyward. ?Hey what's that..,? she turned her eyes to him and noticed he wasn't looking up. ?The brightness of her cheek would shame those stars,? he said, his gaze fixed on her. ?Her eyes in heaven would stream so bright that birds would think it were not night.? ?You are a great actor Bobby,? she said. ?Who's acting?? ****** It was a mildly sunny afternoon, wisps of clouds breaking up the light, the air not too warm or too cold. A pair of toddlers played together in the little red, square sandbox of the park. Both had the same grey-blue eyes, one with medium brown straight hair, the other golden blond pigtails. Having been born less that a week apart people often mistook them for twins as opposed to their true relationship. On a nearby bench sat two casually dressed women. One, young, in her early 20s with short dark hair, the other with short brown hair, the shock of grey the only plain evidence of her true age. ?You remember Shelly Bernsen?? Ellie said. ?From the old neighborhood.? ?I hardly remember the old neighborhood Mom,? answered Avery. ?We only lived there for like two years.? ?But you remember Shelly. She used to babysit for you,? Ellie insisted. ?Yeah Mom, I remember Shelly,? said Avery. ?She's seeing that Mitchum boy now.? ?The one who works at the grocery store?? asked Avery. ?No he got a job at a bank,? Ellie said. ?Well that explains why she finally said yes,? Avery remarked. ?I swear that girl drags her feet too much,? Ellie said. ?I still have trouble believing it,? said Avery motioning down at the two girls making their crude attempts at dry sandcastles. ?Who would have believed that?? ?Hey,? said Ellie, leaning back on the bench so that the shadow of a shade tree took the sun out of her eyes. ?that wedding was VERY romantic.? ?What?? said Avery. ?Oh. I mean yeah, I guess that timing is a little ridiculous. But I mean... you know, your age.? ?Hey!? Ellie glared at her. ?You forget. I got a late start on my cycles, I'm still as fertile as a 24 year old,? she leaned back again. ?And don't call me old,? she closed her eyes. ?Do you see where Lori is?? ?Yeah,? answered Avery. ?she's on the swing set playing with a little zeeg boy. Is she curious about boys yet?? ?No, she's still a little too young.? Avery looked out on the little brown haired girl in a ponytail standing up on the swing and flying back and forth. ?Really? Because I hear she's a little smitten with Dillon Reeves.? ?Well in that case she's WAY too young,? Ellie said. ?Did Monica tell you that? What is he now? Fourteen?? ?Don't worry. He's got a little cousin sort of view of her. But in another ten years, they could be really cute together,? Avery had taken up the habit of really observing Lori. She was getting close now to Avery's own age when she had made her transition. It fascinated Avery to witness that side of life that she had missed for herself. She looked at her phone. ?Hey Mom, I gotta go pretty soon. I've gotta get ready for that TV interview tonight.? ?Oh that's tonight?? Ellie said. ?That's right. In that case I think we should get going too,? They each looked to the girls in the sandbox. ?Willow,? said Ellie. ?Lilly,? Avery called. ?Come to Mommy,? they both said at once. The toddlers popped up and ran to the benches, the brunette climbed up beside Ellie and the blond jumped into Avery's lap. ?Come on Lilly,? Avery said brushing sand off of the girl's bottom. ?We gotta go home pretty soon. I gotta go be on TV tonight.? ?Can I go stay wit Willow an Granma?? Lilly asked. ?Lilly G. Sullivan!? Ellie mock scolded. ?No honey, Daddy wants to spend some time with you,? said Avery. ?You can play with Willow again on Saturda... Um, this many days,? she held up two fingers. ?Okay,? she said dejected. ?Lori baby!? Ellie called as they all stood. ?Come on, we're going home!? Lori quickly caught up with them as they headed down the little concrete path to the parking lot. ?Um, Momma,? said Lilly. ?Can Auntie E-vonne come play tomorrow then?? ?Sorry sweetie,? Avery answered. ?But Daddy is still off tomorrow, you can play with him.? ?Why not both?? asked Ellie as she adjusted her purse and then took Lori by the hand. ?Because I have an audition tomorrow,? Avery answered. ?I love Yvonne, she's my best friend, I would trust her with my life, but you're crazy if you think I'd trust her alone with my husband.? ?Yvonne? No,? said Ellie. ?But I think I'd put a little more faith in Bobby. He is a model father. He's a way better dad than..,? Ellie looked slightly crestfallen. ?Hey,? said Avery placing her hand on Ellie's shoulder. ?You are the best MOM we could want,? Ellie looked up. ?I'll see you again this weekend.? ?Yeah,? said Ellie smiling. ?That sounds good.? They reached the parking lot. ?Life is good,? They walked away in different directions. Life Goes On