The Easy Life Of A Switchgirl free porn video

Hi and thank you for clicking on my new little sex story. If you read it, please leave me a comment letting me know what you think. I've read some that have put a smile on my face even years after publishing a story. Enjoy! ~ The Easy Life of a Switchgirl by Rohmer Fan ~ I smiled and watched my wife try on lingerie for me over FaceTime on my phone. "I really like the purple one, the chemise," Allie said, sitting cross legged on a hotel bed in Singapore. She was still wearing the last thing she'd put on, a scarlet red satin bra and panties set. "A little more than this one. Easier access. Which was your fave?" "You are so beautiful," I said back to her, smirking. I was sitting at a desk in the little office I had connected to my room watching her on my laptop. I didn't have to worry about my privacy, my dad always knocked. "They all look good to me," I said with a smirk. "That's no fun! C'mon, babe. Which was your favorite?" She was grinning at me expectantly. "I like... the see-through one," I said with a chortle. My wife has perky boobs and I love seeing them, so this wasn't too hard for me but I didn't want to always be so predictable. "Predictable!" she said as a taunt. I sighed and smiled in response, but kept quiet. "Aw, babe. I bought that sheer white nighty just for you. I know what you like." She winked. I grinned. My wife was a few years older than me, college educated, and a flight attendant. She was bubbly, blonde, and had been the one to propose to me after we met. We got married four months ago after an 8-month engagement and both of us were working to save up to put a down payment on a house. We wanted to start a family while we were young. "I have absolutely no idea what time it is there, babe. When does your shift start?" She asked. It was around 3:00 am in Singapore and Alison didn't appear to have red eyes or be tired at all, in fact she was incredibly energetic. "Typical," I thought smiling, then answered her saying, "it's just early afternoon. I go into work in a couple of hours." "Well, make those big tips, babe. What are you listening to tonight?" "Oh, I'll be blasting Aphex Twin in the car. I'm in an Aphex Twin mood." "Drukqs?" I nodded. Before she was a flight attendant, Allie had worked in a record store and that's how I met her. We had very similar tastes in music. Unfortunately, the record store went out of business, but not before she asked me out and set our whole relationship story in motion. She'd been dating one of the other women who worked at the shop, so I always assumed she was lesbian and not bi. Physically, we matched pretty closely. We are both lean and fair skinned, though my hair is darker brown than hers is naturally, and we both have blue eyes. We could practically be brother and sister. "That's one of the best Aphex Twins. I've had his Ambient 2 playing lately. Good call, babe." We grinned at each other. Truthfully, my taste in music had changed a little over the last couple of months. Lately I mostly wanted to listen to Bach and I was probably going to listen to the Brandenberg Concertos instead of Aphex Twin, but I thought the white lie might make Alison feel less lonely. "Hey," she said, looking serious, "I really miss you." I smiled and nodded. "I miss you too, Allie." She smiled sweetly at me and said in her sexy alto voice, "I'm going to love you and kiss you so much when I get back in a few days." I smiled. To be honest, sex was one of the only areas where I felt really confident in our relationship. Allie ran circles around me in almost every other way: looks, brains, savvy, coolness, fashion, career, everything. But sex was different. I was a master at going down on her and could easily bring her to multiple orgasms. The secret was that I had a little bit of an oral fixation. I'd be just as happy kissing her lips, sucking her nipples, or licking her fingers and toes, but I never told her this, though she knew I liked doing it. To be honest, sex was something I thought about constantly. I could probably have sex ten times a day. But of course, I was also very monogamous. I calmly said, "I'm looking forward to getting you back in bed, Allie. I am going to fuck your brains out." I sharply exhaled air thinking about how good it would feel. I loved taking her from behind, gripping her hips, and making her squeal. She giggled and said, "Yeah, I think I need that bad." The look on her face told me we were both desperate to get in bed. I smiled as we went over her arrival details. I was thinking about fucking her, the face she would make when she came, her sexy soft body under me. I wanted to take control of her and feel masculine. I craved the feel and sight of her body. Maybe she'd wear that sheer nighty for me. ~ "Oooh, pepperoni. Thanks, Chucky," my dad said as I dropped a couple of pizza boxes on the kitchen table. I always took pizza or some cheese sticks home for my dad during my shift, if I had a delivery nearby. If you're a delivery driver and you're on the closing shift, the company I worked for will let you have a pizza and some cheese sticks, so I took advantage of the perk for my dad's sake, despite being completely burned out on pizza myself. My dad looked up at me taking a big bite of pizza and said, "ohh Chucky, so good!" My dad was in his late-50s, had salt-and-pepper hair, and a bit of a belly. I couldn't recall if the belly pre-dated my job delivering pizza or not. "Keep eating like that and you're not going to fit in your Renaissance Fair outfit, dad," I scoffed. "Spare me," he frowned. "Also, I need to fit you for your new 'rogue' costume and that DS9 costume for Shore Leave." I nodded. My dad and I had our traditions. We always went to the local Renaissance Fair and the yearly Star Trek convention in Baltimore. And by doing this, we were carrying on a tradition started by my mom before she died. My mom had helped start the Renn Fair and was practically a movie star at the Trek convention because she'd had a minor role in a couple of episodes of Deep Space Nine as a Bajoran. My dad was the big star now at the Renn Fair. He was none other than Luke Morris, writer of the Jester's Chronicles, a fairly well-known fantasy series about an androgynous assassin who traveled a fantasy realm disguised as a jester or bard taking secret missions. Hollywood had been chasing him for a few years about adapting it, but he wasn't too interested despite all the money they'd dangled in front of him. "I don't want that kind of fame," he'd explained to me. I got back into my black Honda hatchback and looked back at my dad's house. He and my mom had hired an architect and built it themselves. It was a gorgeous brick two-story house that looked down over a slanted meadow with a brick driveway circling towards the road. I had a little section of the house to myself complete with a bedroom, office, and bathroom. My wife still preferred that we meet in a hotel, though. She and my dad didn't get along. They both had pretty strong opinions about things, easily got into arguments, that kind of thing. I just tried not to rock the boat when they got into it. A ten minute drive into downtown Annapolis and I was back at Pizza Friends, the pizza delivery place I'd been working at for a year or so now. I walked in and nodded at Madison, the perky blonde teenage service rep whose boyfriend was almost always hanging out in front of the store. I spotted a few deliveries up on the rack and saw Vaughn, the store manager, walking up to me. "The fuck took you so long, Morris?" Vaughn barked at me. He was this tatted up asshole who bragged about how he used to steal cars in Baltimore. "Had to get gas," I lied, then Vaughn harrumphed and went back to working the pizza line. He liked being around the young girls he hired as cooks and customer service reps. I started loading up a few more deliveries. Vaughn's roommate Lee was also a driver here and I was lucky he was out on delivery at the moment. He always hogged the best neighborhoods. Vaughn was giving me the eye while I was helping fold pizza boxes. "Get in my office," Vaughn grunted. I sighed and walked in then he closed the door behind me. "Your pants are stained, get them cleaned Morris. And shave your face 'cause if you can't grow a decent beard, stop trying." I nodded and tried not to roll my eyes. Vaughn was always on me about my appearance. Vaughn always looked like he'd just ironed his uniform and had a perfectly trimmed goatee, but he had neck tattoos poking out above his collar which would probably get me fired if I tried it. He pointed at the door and said, "Okay, cool." I walked out feeling a little embarrassed in front of all the younger coworkers, but I knew he gave them shit about their clothes all the time too. "Hey man," I heard, as Jonathan, the driver I would be closing with tonight, appeared in the front door. He was a few inches taller than me and had a shaggy bowl haircut. Unlike everyone else, he never wore a hat. Also, he was almost never tucked in, and while Vaughn hated it when our uniforms weren't perfectly neat and fit, he gave Jonathan a pass for some reason. Vaughn also always invited him to all of his pot-smoking house parties. Jonathan always had something else to do. I was never invited. "Hey, Jon." I smiled as he gave me a few friendly pats on the back. I owed him a huge favor because he'd covered for me when I asked for a few days off with almost no notice once. He was one of those St. John's guys, but not a know-it-all rich guy, just pretty laid back. We were probably the only people older than 16 who worked at Pizza Friends who didn't do harder drugs than smoking pot. I watched with a little jealousy as Jonathan loaded up his hybrid Land Rover with his deliveries, then he yelled, "Like the Bach!" as I started playing music with my windows down. I gave him a thumbs up for knowing the artist. It was a really warm summer night, perfect for driving with my windows down. A couple of hours later, after things slowed down, I had a delivery to a pretty nice area of town that gave me some trouble. I knocked, looked in the windows, and tried to call, but no one was picking up. It was prepaid, so I opened the front door slightly, said, "Pizza's here," and put it on the floor inside the house. There was no response. On my next delivery, I started cramping up and sweating. I knew a "flu" feeling when I got it, so I called up Vaughn who told me to, "Tough it out, or ask Jon to cover for you." I'd already started driving home due to the intense abdominal cramps, and I swerved off the road a little when I tried calling Jonathan due to my sweaty hands, but luckily didn't wreck. "Jon, can you cover for me? I have to go home. I'm sick as hell." "Yeah, I've got you. Take care of yourself, bud," Jonathan said with that same air of complete chill he always managed. I didn't even remember driving back to my house and getting to the bathroom to release what would be the most epic toilet-blaster of all time. I worried that I'd woken my dad up from the cacophony alone. I was on the toilet for what felt like two hours straight, wiping my head with a towel and pooping my guts out. When my feet slipped out from under me from the sweat dripping off of my body and onto the floor while I was still cramping and releasing diarrhea, I started getting concerned. I googled the symptoms as best as I could with my sweaty palms. Only one thing kept coming up. "Daejon Syndrome: intense abdominal cramps, diarrhea, abnormal sweating. Also known as 'the oatmeal switch' due to the gray and brown coloration of the matter expelled via diarrhea." I took a peek into the toilet before flushing again and noticed it matched the description. "Oh wow," was all I could really say. I knew vaguely about the oatmeal switch. I knew it was a disease you could catch and that it changed your biological sex. I searched to see if there was a cure. "There is no known cure for Daejon Syndrome," was the answer. I read more as I stayed on the toilet until I felt completely empty. I chuckled, shook my head, and thought about all those dumbasses who looked up symptoms online and thought they all had whatever really rare thing that came up. After drying off as much sweat as I could, I fell onto my bed wearing boxers and thought, "There's no fucking way I have the oatmeal switch, I'll just sleep it off." ~ My dad sighed, "Do you remember a single thing the man from the CDC said, Chucky?" I rolled my eyes and said, "No," as I soaked another pile of towels on my bed with sweat. I would sweat for a while, then shit, then sleep, then start the whole thing over again. This is all I knew. "He said this disease should run its course in about two or three weeks," my dad said, sitting on a chair in my room. "You've already lost about a foot in height and I'd say around 60 or so pounds. Remarkable, really. I'm so sorry you're having to go through this, my boy." I groaned as my dad continued, talking about the disease, how it worked, what it was doing to my body, and so forth. I was just so "miserable." "What's that?" "I'm fucking miserable, dad. It's too hot in here." My dad got up and said, "Well, I'll talk to you when this phase has settled down a bit. It makes the brain a little mushy." He turned up the AC in my bedroom and then set up shop in my office. I just moaned and said, "Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck." At some point I heard him talking to my wife on the phone and he let me know that she would be "staying away, per doctor's orders" for a couple of weeks. They weren't sure whether or not I had one of the strains that people could still catch at 24. I was only 20. I lost track of time as days and nights seemed to pass, occasionally rubbing my arms and legs, newly thin and small, or feeling the shrinking genitals between my legs. My voice croaked and changed pitch, until it felt like there was no depth to it at all. I spent a lot of time on the toilet with my head on my knees. Occasionally there would be strangers coming into my room and changing my towels and running tests on me, presumably medical technicians. I had a hard time concentrating on their faces or the things they said. Finally, I felt my body heat recede to a point where I actually covered myself with a blanket due to the air feeling chilly. I couldn't even remember when I'd had the linen boxers I was wearing put on me. I felt my thoughts come together enough to pick up my phone, which was huge and heavy in my hand. "Five days?" I said with my croaking high- pitched voice, finally comprehending the passage of time as I looked at my phone. I was drowning in text messages. Alison sent an enormous amount of them wishing me well and apologizing for not being there for me. She'd been working the whole time and wouldn't be back for another week. I sent her back a quick text thanking her for sending so many messages and letting her know that I was doing better, mentally. I waited for her to reply for a minute or two in vain and realized I didn't even know what time zone she was in. I didn't even want to think about what this meant for our marriage. In other messages my boss Vaughn went from outright firing me over text to saying he was looking forward to me coming back. Jonathan sent me a "sucks. If you need ANYTHING let me know." A bunch of my other coworkers sent me messages, some of whom must have been giving my phone number out. A lot of unknown numbers were wishing me to "get well soon" and not even saying who they were. I looked down at the nub sticking out of my crotch where my penis used to be and thought, "get well soon, my ass." I groaned and got out of bed, which now came up to my waist, and put on one of my t-shirts, which now went down to my knees. "So I'm a little kid now," I said to no one. I looked outside my bedroom window and saw that our house had yellow tape all around it, presumably a CDC quarantine area. "I bet I was on the news," I thought, then made my way downstairs to the kitchen. I needed a glass of water. "Oh! Thank god, Chucky," my dad squawked, startled by my appearance, then he nervously said, "Glad you got over that hump." I sat down at the kitchen table and my dad poured water into a glass with some ice in it for me. He was wearing his normal ensemble: dark blue jeans and a red polo shirt. He sat down with me and said, "So how are you feeling?" I slowly exhaled air and said, "Terrible. Fuck! How have they not cured this thing yet?" I sounded like a whiny little kid. My dad shrugged with a frown and said, "Look, you probably noticed but I hired you a full time staff including a therapist to watch over you and make sure you're safe." "Dad, no. What? How much do-" "Don't ask how much, just let me take care of it, okay? C'mon, you're my special little guy. I love you." He grimaced and said, "Sorry, not little. Hmm." There was a copy of our local paper The Capital on the table, it had a story on the front page about the presidential election, and then right below it "More Details Emerge About Local Author's Family Switch Crisis," which was definitely about me. I pointed at it and said, "sorry, dad." He just laughed. He was a minor celebrity, after all, which had its perks and downsides. I sipped my water. My dad made a decent living from books, but gave a lot of it to a couple of charities that my mom had always liked. He lived within his means. He even made his own costumes for the Renn Fair and Trek stuff. "Oh crap," I thought. I'm not going to fit in that stuff. He worked on those costumes for a year. "Oh damn, dad. I just realized I won't be able to fit into those costumes. I'm really really sorry. I know you worked hard on them." My dad scoffed and said, "Chucky... are you serious? You're going through this and you're worried about costumes. Maybe you should lie back down." "Right. Yeah. Well, I'm supposed to regain my height, right? So maybe I can fit in them anyway?" My dad shrugged and said, "I... no, we have no idea what you'll eventually look like after you grow into a woman. Supposedly, based on a few things, you should look about 18 or 19 when this is done. And male to female switch survivors tend towards below average height." "Right." I thought about all of my young female coworkers. I was going to look like them, and they were all a lot shorter than I was. "This is so weird." "I'm here for you, kiddo. Just remember that. I'll be getting counseling as well, y'know, on how best to help you and that kind of thing." My dad sipped some coffee with an expressionless face. "That... is great, dad." I smiled. I'd been recommending therapy for him for years. I looked at my reflection in the window looking out onto our back porch and blinked. I looked like a tiny little kid with a massive Charlie Brown head. After the last few days, I didn't care what I looked like. At least I could walk and talk. "So I look like Charlie Brown, huh?" I asked with a bemused sigh. "Ell oh ell, Chucky." ~ My switch counselor's name was Karen Bowman. She always came to our house professionally dressed and had a slight New Jersey accent. She was a mother of three and had dark curly brown hair she wore tied behind her head. My dad had made sure to hire a "switch survivor" as a counselor, which came at a much higher rate I found out. We always met in my dad's library, a fairly large room with bookshelves lining the walls and otherwise smothered in paperbacks. Dr. Bowman had a kind but serious demeanor, and was very interrogative. A lot of her questions were about my feelings about sex and my wife, often at the same time. "You are aware that you can annul a marriage for a year in this state after contracting the Switch without any trial period?" I nodded. Dr. Bowman hadn't made any attempt to hide the fact that she thought my marriage was doomed. "Yeah, I got it. You don't have to keep reminding me." Dr. Bowman was friendly, but had a habit of reintroducing the same topics over and over. I asked her why she did this and she said it was because my brain and body would be rebuilding itself over the course of the next week or two and my thoughts and opinions might change about things while that happened. "My wife is bisexual, so this isn't a problem for us." I ate a handful of Cheetos. I'd just started the "hungry" stage after just three days genital mutation. I had a small vagina now, though my body was still kid-sized. "We've already discussed it." I paused then added, "She's already bought a bunch of sex toys." I shrugged. I had no interest in sex at all, though I knew my wife was going through the opposite right now. "But you are aware that most people undergo a radical shift in their sexual orientation?" She often reminded me of this as well. I nodded. "Yes, but bisexual M2F switch survivors are really common. I read about this." She smiled and said, "Common, but not guaranteed. Keep that in mind. You won't know until you know." I nodded. The thought of being with a man seemed disgusting on an unspeakable level. This wasn't even worth discussing. I stayed silent hoping she would move on. About the only change I'd noticed is that I really liked the snug and comfortable feel of the panties-like underwear I'd been given. It didn't feel constrictive despite being tight, the opposite in fact. Kind of freeing. Dr. Bowman asked, "How are you currently feeling about your body?" I squirmed in my seat a little and said, "It's pretty fucking weird. Sitting down to pee sucks. I feel so small..." I trailed off not wanting to say more. I was glad the "hunger" phase had already started. It was the last one where you ate food constantly as your body grew. I was hoping to get as close to my previous height of 6' 1" as possible. Dr. Bowman was only about 5 and a half feet tall, which is what most people on the internet said Switchgirls maxed out at. "Most, but not all," I thought. "And your genital change?" I thought for a second but didn't respond directly. "How did you feel when yours changed?" I asked her. "Truthfully," she responded, "as soon as it was gone I didn't miss it." I nodded. "Yeah, it felt... I felt weird about that. I just don't miss it. I started to feel like I was supposed to miss it and that something was wrong with me." She nodded. "It's a surprisingly common reaction. Men and women both poll very high on negative feelings about bodily changes if they were to hypothetically get the Switch, but men who actually catch the switch tend to mind the genital change less. It's still a mystery as to why." I nodded. "I think I just didn't realize how itchy and annoyingly 'there' it is all the time until it was gone." We both chuckled. Bowman had three modes when she met with me. The first mode was probing me about my comfort with changes, both physical and psychological. A lot of this was trying to relieve me of stress based on dealing with my new body. It was valuable but I could feel myself pushing back sometimes. The second mode was lecturing me and informing me about how society treats women compared to men. A lot of that information was pretty obvious and amounted to, "most men are fucking bastards." Her third mode was therapy with my dad, which I sat in on most of the time but not all. After one long day of eating boiled potatoes, beef fried rice, and carrot cake, the three of us had a session together in my dad's study. My dad dressed up in khakis and a button down white shirt when he sat with Dr. Bowman, while I just wore the light blue pajamas that were part of a bunch of clothing sets the Switch people my dad hired had brought. Bowman was in charge of that team. They were also cooking my meals. They had a few vans out front and a decontamination tent and everything. I couldn't even imagine how much this was costing my dad. "Mr. Norris, you have something to tell Charles?" Dr. Bowman said one day during an otherwise dry session. "Yes, Chucky..." My dad took off his glasses. His eyes were a little red. I felt extremely awkward and just tried not to stare. I loved my dad but we never had tearful conversations. I didn't really know how to react but at least knew enough to put down the bag of crunchy Cheetos. "I didn't want to say anything about this because it seemed... emotionally manipulative and you know how much I hate that kind of thing, but-" Then he looked at Dr. Bowman. "The doctor here said you should know." I looked at them both and nodded, "Okay, what is it?" My dad paused and then said, "Your mother and I conceived another child before she died. She lost her to miscarriage, but... you were very close to having a sister." "Oh my God. Dad, I'm so sorry. That's terrible." I was shocked. I looked at Dr. Bowman, then back at my dad, and thought about this burden my dad had been carrying silently all these years. My mom had died when I was three of ovarian cancer. I barely remembered her except for a single image of a smiling face along with tons of videos and pictures. My dad nodded and rubbed his red eyes, "Well, I wanted you to know. And I also wanted you to know that your mother and I wanted to name her Beth. And I don't know if you've thought about a new name, but Dr. Bowman said it was recommended..." "I, dad... yes, of course. Beth is fine." I hadn't really thought about any names, but the idea of choosing one connected to my mother like that meant a lot to me. "It makes me really happy having a connection to my mom like that, thank you dad." He smiled and said, "Thank you... Beth." I nodded. "Beth, Beth, Beth, Beth..." I repeated the name in my head over and over again after the session. Two days later after eating untold quantities of starchy foods, when I started noticing myself getting taller, my hips getting wider, and breasts forming under wide budding nipples I stared for hours on end at "Beth" in the mirror. When I smiled I thought I looked just like my mom. ~ I was still eating potatoes every way you could cook them when I hit 4'10" but 4'10" was a special day for me. It was a special day because that's the day that it really sank in that I was going to be a woman. Not just "I don't have a penis" or "I have a new name," but that I was going to start circling "F" instead of "M" on forms, start going into the bathrooms with the little dress on them, get a period and have fertile eggs inside of me (eventually, though that was a very delayed change), and a hundred other things that raced through my mind that whole day. Dr. Bowman had been telling me that I was "working too hard to put my wife's feelings first," during the change, and this whole time I'd been thinking that she meant that I was working too hard to save the marriage, but really I think it had just been an overall thing. Or my dad, too. I'd been putting them first. But when I hit 4'10" and I stared in the mirror at the dirty-blonde haired woman with a thin waist and wide hips, who was relatively hairless, and who had breasts that couldn't be strapped down enough to hide... Well that fucking changed everything. And when I hit 4'10" and realized that everything had changed, I also knew that because I was still hungry as fuck, I'd keep changing. The stress made me begin to clean and organize. I rearranged the furniture in my bedroom, took out all of the old clothes that I knew I'd never wear again and bagged them up, and sanitized my bathroom to the millimeter. I felt like I was cleaning up to get ready for something, but I didn't know exactly what that was. I found a Reddit page called r/BeSwitched and started looking up topics based on my rampaging thoughts. All of the highest rated posts were transition pictures, which I really didn't care about except that it reminded me that if I posted something like that, I'd probably get a ton of perverted messages. However, a couple really caught my eye. "I'm (24m2f) married to a woman (21F) but I keep thinking about sex with men" was the title of the first, and it mostly talked about all the guys this Switchgirl wanted to have sex with. The top comment on it by u/ThirdWheelBlind rang some alarm bells for me: "This is super common and it just sounds like you turned into a straight woman. Stay in the marriage if you want, but don't be under any illusion that it will get easier. You're just lying to yourself if you think you can keep from acting on those urges." I had zero interest in guys, but... I didn't see these 4'10" feelings coming either. "I'm in the third phase, what should I do when I'm done?" was another title that really piqued my interest. It was really highly rated and got a few thousand comments. The top one was by u/xtrav3rt just said "go shopping and get a haircut and explore your new identity with people you trust, or even better go by yourself." I thought about going shopping with my dad or my wife and realized I'd prefer to go by myself. I loved them both, but I always felt like I was "someone else" around both of them, or trying to make them happy, so it often felt good for me to find my own space. There were a ton of comments in support of this, and one that disagreed but was highly upvoted said, "This really depends on if you're f2m or m2f. m2f definitely I guess, but as a f2m the first thing I did was join a gym and work out some of the aggression I'd been building up. I shaved my head. No salon needed." I couldn't find any comments about what was "building up" in me as a Switchgirl if Switchboys were building up "aggression." My wife had been communicating with me some. Texts and FaceTime chats. She thought I was very "cute." I'd shown her plenty of videos and photographs of my different phases. She was supportive in her way but had been oddly quiet for the two weeks or so I'd been changing. Dr. Bowman chalked this up to partners having difficulty knowing how to react or respond to the Switch. Allie turned down any offer of therapy over FaceTime with Bowman, but I'd reminded her that the offer was still on the table. It turned out that my final height was 5ft and 1in, which is very much below average, much shorter than my wife and dad, and an inch shorter than my mom had been. I certainly wasn't going to be intimidating many people at this height. My ribcage felt small and I'd expected it to grow out more, but my thighs and butt felt huge despite being a little underweight. My shoulders were barely there. But, oddly, it felt like "my body," not something unfamiliar. Allie had been pushing me to try masturbating. I was too shy to try it on FaceTime with her, but I gave in that day I hit 5'1". I think the most surprising thing to me was how easily I yielded and opened up when I pushed my fingers inside my vagina. I'd fingered a number of women, at least half a dozen before my wife, and it had never occurred to me before how odd it would be to have a place on your crotch where you could just enter, easily. I started recording the video. I was tight and moist, but it wasn't hard to figure out where to rub and how hard to bring myself to orgasm. I didn't remember what led to it, but I vaguely recalled one time as a man when it felt close to as good as masturbating as a woman. The intense warmth, the abundant release, the waves of tingles that spread out from the head and crotch. Pure pleasure. It wasn't hard to do with my fingers, but when I took my wife's suggestion and turned the pillowcase inside out and humped it, it was far more intense even without penetration. I felt my engorged pussy lips and said, "dudes have no fucking idea what they're missing," to my phone, then sent it to my wife. The next morning she sent me a ton of messages about how hot I was and saying my "voice sounded so sexy" when I was cumming. I replied, "I didn't even know I was vocalizing lol." ~ After my haircut, I stood still in Kohl's looking at the "grocery list" of clothes that I'd brought with me. I was sticky and sweaty from the late summer heat. I was way too hot in the sweatpants and sweatshirt I'd been provided by Bowman's staff. I grabbed the handle of my shopping cart and stepped forward with determination. I wanted to be adventurous today. I'd polled Dr. Bowman, my wife, and a number of websites to find a good list of clothes I should buy. I started with something for work and found some white cargo pants, trying about three different sizes on. It looked like I was mostly a size 0 or 1, with a few size 2 clothes working as well. Fitting women's pants took some getting used to, with some being a little loose and the others being fairly tight. Either way it was better than the sweatpants I'd walked in wearing. I had to wear a Pizza Friends polo shirt, so I didn't have to worry about that, at least. I threw my new work clothes in a shopping cart and went to find the next two things: jeans and jean shorts. I got some high-waisted denim jeans and shorts, both "small" size 0 "skinny" jeans. I liked the tight fit of the jeans. The thick fabric felt comforting. I had to try on a few different pairs of shorts because some of them were too short, but some of the ones that were longer made my ass look huge. There was something about my hips that made anything loose-fitting jeans or shorts look bad. I looked over at the underwear section and avoided it, buying a bunch of t-shirts instead. The underwear section was just too intimidating for me and I still felt a little perverted looking at it, a holdover from being a guy. I bought about half a dozen white or solid-color t-shirts and a couple of plaid button-down shirts that fit well. Then some socks and a belt. I looked at the underwear again and sighed, heading over. I knew my bra size: 32 D. Dr. Bowman had been kind enough to measure me. I didn't feel like a "D cup," which I'd always imagined as being massive. My boobs were just visible, that's it. Like, there was just no angle you could look at me from and not see them (I'd checked), but they weren't huge. I needed five bras. One "nude," one black, a couple of "t- shirt bras," and Allie wanted me to get a lace or satin one. I quickly threw a bunch that matched the necessary descriptions into the bottom of my cart and put the t-shirts over them. Luckily no employees were bothering me. I felt weirdly embarrassed about buying these fucking bras. I thought, "this is normal and I'm being weird," but still felt odd. I was wearing some kind of one size fits all "comfort bra" under my sweat shirt, but it didn't feel like a "bra" bra. I looked at a bunch of panties next. I had no idea what my preferences were here, so I just put a ton of different kinds in the cart. My dad had given me enough gift certificates to amount to around a month of paychecks for me to use today. I needed to find out why he was so willing to blow through cash lately. Something was up. I snapped my head around when I heard a familiar voice behind me and saw Vaughn, my boss, Lee, his roommate and another driver I worked with, and Vaughn's redhead girlfriend whose name I didn't remember. They were laughing about something and standing together in the women's underwear section. "Why don't you wear this for me, angel?" Vaughn said to his redhead girlfriend. She laughed in response. Vaughn was always bragging about how he and his girlfriend had an open relationship. The entire staff of Pizza Friends knew about it because he loved bringing it up. "As long as she doesn't know about mine and I don't know about hers," was the mantra he'd repeated. As a very monogamous person it sounded shitty to me. I tried not looking at them and heading away but heard a "HEY!" behind me, it sounded like it was directed at me. I closed my eyes and turned around ready to be bullied by my boss. Instead I saw Vaughn pointing at something about fifteen feet away from me. They walked towards it while I felt like a deer in headlights. I pretended to look at clothes while they browsed maternity bras nearby, laughing about the redhead needing ones since she was "baby crazy." But they never looked directly at me. "Of course," I thought. "They don't recognize me." I turned my head away from them and smiled at myself. I don't even think my boss knew my new name yet, nevertheless what I looked like. I started making my way out of the area. I couldn't tell if it was my imagination or not, but I felt like I was being stared at. I occasionally sent a glance towards the trio out of curiosity while I started looking at footwear, buying a few pairs of comfortable flats and some tennis shoes. The three of them eventually left and paid me no mind, but there was this sense that Vaughn and Lee were aware of me the whole time despite me not catching them looking. It was strange and eerie and I couldn't quite put my finger on it. My last stop was wading into the very feminine world of skirts, dresses, and blouses. My wife wanted me to get a "little black dress." Dr. Bowman wanted me to experiment with feminine styles of clothing to see if I liked them, so she told me to at least "buy a blouse and a skirt." I promised them both I would at least try a few things on. I looked around for a while and saw a few pieces of clothing that could be promising, then got a clerk to let me into a changing room. I took off the sweatpants and shirt I'd worn into the store. Looking in the mirror I still couldn't really recognize myself, or at least not my old self. A lot of people say they look like their sister or brother when they change. I saw someone new but familiar: Beth. I also saw my mother. Well, my mother always had very long hair. I liked my shorter haircut. As the hairdresser described, it was a "wavy bob." I thought it made me look a little like Mackenzie Davis, who I really liked in Blade Runner 2049 and Halt and Catch Fire. I used to have a thing for her. I even saw the new Terminator in the theater because of her. I tried on three different types of black dress and finally put one on that I didn't hate and modeled it for myself. This style was perfect for Allie, but it looked and felt weird on me. Too "adult." I tried putting heels on with the black dress and it made me feel like a crossdresser. The woman I'm looking at looked like a little girl pretending to be cool at a cocktail party. I tossed the little black dresses to the side. It just wasn't me. I put on one of the skirts, a ruffled cream colored one that landed above my knees and then changed into one of the t-shirts I'd bought to go with it. I much preferred this look. I thought, "I look cute." It felt strangely thrilling feeling "cute." I smirked. I liked that a lot: feeling "cute." Beth was a cute name and I had cute taste in clothes. Was there even a word for my "look" when I was a guy? I didn't bother with a blouse, but I did buy a few more skirts and another pair of sneakers. I went and picked out a couple of sundresses to try on. I loved the way I looked when they fit snugly around my waist and chest, but had ruffled or flowing short or mid- length skirts. "Wow, this girl looks cute as fuck," I thought, modeling my dresses and skirts in the changing room. I had a really thin waist and the skirts and dresses brought that out when they fit right. I was going to blow through all of the gift certificates my dad gave me on skirts. When I was checking out I also bought a light blue hair band and put it on at the counter, checking myself out in a little mirror as the clerk rang me up. I smiled at my reflection. I thought, "I am a cute fucking girl!" ~ I pulled up to the Courtyard Marriott and got out of my black Honda hatchback. I felt extremely nervous. I was wearing a white t-shirt and a red and orange sarong skirt with white flats This was the first time I'd worn a skirt outside of my bedroom or a changing room. I felt so naked not wearing pants or shorts. I was nervous in a Toccata and Fugue in D minor kind of way, my feelings swerving back and forth. The skirt was a surprise for my wife Allie. I headed inside, feeling paranoid that everyone knew I was bare under the skirt except for just panties. It didn't matter that it was normal for a woman to wear a skirt, I still wasn't used to it. The windy day didn't help matters, as I kept feeling gusts of wind tickle my inner thighs. The hotel was fairly busy. It was around lunchtime and there was a restaurant attached. I had already eaten my typical meal of an orange and a few peanut butter crackers. As I made my way through the halls, I felt that meager lunch turning in my stomach. I was so nervous. This was the first time we'd seen each other in person since I'd switched. I hadn't anticipated being so nervous about this. I held my breath after knocking on the 344 door. When my wife opened the door my first thought was, "Why is she so tall?" "Oh my God, you look so adorable!" she barked, very excited to see me. I smiled and entered, still feeling extremely nervous. Allie was wearing her flight attendant uniform and still had on high heels. She was 5'7" which already made her so, so much taller than me, but the heels only enhanced it. For some reason it made me feel strange. My new height hadn't bothered me in the same way with my dad. "I love your skirt," she said, closing the door behind me. "Your haircut looks even better on you in our person, babe. I just got here about ten minutes before you did." "Thanks," I said. I felt myself just staring up at her. "Hey," she said, taking off her heels and walking up to me, "relax, love you." She hugged me tightly and I hugged her back. I put my arms around her and held her close. "I missed you so much," I said and started crying. "Aww, babe," Allie said, then she started crying as well. An understatement: this was not how our meetings at the hotel usually went. Usually this was when I finally got to reassert my charge in our relationship as the dominant sexual partner. I'd kiss her and take off her clothes and we'd be having sex doggy style on the bed by now. Allie had been telling me how much she wanted to have sex with me, but I was just crying my eyes out happy to see her right now. I pulled away from her and sat down on the bed. "Allie, I don't know if I can do the sex stuff today." She smiled and sat beside me. "That's totally cool. Let's just hang out." I scooted up the bed and put my head on the pillow. My wife ordered lunch for herself after I declined. I thought about how amazing how easygoing she'd been about me changing into a woman. From everything I'd read on the internet, it was incredibly rare for partners to adapt so quickly. This just made me feel even more like Allie was always ten steps ahead of me in everything. "I have to go back to work tomorrow," I said watching her eat a seared tuna sandwich. She made a "yikes" face and said, "Are you freaking out?" I shook my head. "No... I was more anxious about..." and I started to tell her I was anxious about how she'd react to me but stopped for some reason. "About what?" I tried to think of a lie and said, "The Renn Fair, my dad is trying to fix the costume he made so that it'll fit me now. He's been staying up late at night to make it work." This was true, but it wasn't true that I was anxious about it. My dad was basically a superhero right now as far as I was concerned. "Heh, you shouldn't let your dad's weird hobbies rule your life, dude," she scoffed. "You know I love that stuff," I said as she frowned and started playing Search and Destroy on the little Bluetooth speakers she'd set up in the room. She crawled into bed with me and ran her hands through my hair. "You're a really hot chick," she smirked. "Those guys at the pizza place are going to be all over you. You've got this sexy light airy voice too, that's girly without being whiny. Guys love that." "They'll probably just be freaked out," I said. "I'd be," I thought. I really wouldn't know how to interact with someone who'd completely changed gender in a little over two weeks. My wife smiled at me and said, "So, you like wearing skirts and panties..." and she ran her hand up my thigh. "Did you shave your legs?" I nodded. "Yeah, this morning. After saying I liked you better with shaved legs, it seemed hypocritical of me not too." "Yeah, I was going to give you so much shit for that." Then she leaned down and kissed me while rubbing my inner thigh. I kissed her back, loving the feel of her lips against mine, then started kissing and sucking on her neck. "Ohh, there's my old husband," she smirked, knowing how much I liked sucking on her neck and body. "Wife," I said, sucking more on her neck and collarbone. "Hey," she started, then paused. "Hey, if you want to ever try being with a guy with me, like a three-way type thing, I would support you. Y'know, if you want to experiment. Get it out of your system." I looked up at her and chuckled. She brought up three-ways a lot before we changed, and she'd already mentioned this before when we were FaceTiming a couple of days ago. "Yeah, thank you," I said. "I just want you, Allie." She smiled and said, "Beth... it's going to take me a while to get used to that name, babe." "Just call me 'babe,' then," I said, kissing her arm and looking up at her. "Okay, babe." We spent the rest of the day cuddling and making out and watching TV in the hotel room. I was happy being "babe" for her, but felt more like a "baby" being small next to her. We needed to figure sex out soon. ~ On my first day back, the 17-year-old customer service rep glommed onto me with a hug before I made it halfway through the front door of my pizza delivery job. "Oh my god, I'm so so sorry this happened to you, Beth." I patted her on the shoulder and made eye contact with the rest of the crew as they watched. Everyone was smiling and giving me thumbs up. "Hey guys," I muttered. "Oh my god, your voice is so pretty." Madison immediately exclaimed. I started chuckling. This was not the reception I expected. "What's it like? Do you miss being a guy? What was the whole disease thing like?" She asked me a bunch of questions while I walked around her and signed into the terminal to start my shift. "Uhh, it was really intense and the changes are crazy." I ignored the question about missing being a guy. I wasn't entirely sure how I felt about that one yet. I'd certainly felt like something was missing between me and my wife, despite her assurance that everything was fine, which gave me a deep unease. "Yeah... it's pretty crazy, Madison," I said, suddenly remembering that I used to be much taller than her. I groaned thinking about how I had to move the seat in my car all the way forward. I was so short. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Vaughn step out of the manager's office to watch this scene play out. "I'm uhh it's still very new for m-" "I love your haircut!" Madison interrupted. "Thanks. Yeah, I like it too." I smiled and heard Vaughn sigh. I looked at him. "I'm glad you're back, Morris. Get in my office." He gave a curt nod to the rest of the staff as I followed him into his office. He towered over me now. "Jon's been picking up a lot of your shifts," he said as he closed the door. "Not that that's new, right?" I sat down across from him and said, "Yeah." Vaughn gave me a stern look and pointed at a cardboard box. "There's a few shirts, new badge for 'Beth Morris,' couple of new Pizza Friends caps, etc. You'll need to change before you start your shift." "Okay," I said. "Thank you for keeping my job open for me." "Yeah, well, no problem," he half-smiled. "You're going to need some more appropriate pants, by the way. The ones you're wearing aren't standard Pizza Friends uniform. I'm sure this is all a tough transition, but match with the other ladies, please." "All right," I said, thinking about how tight all the other girls pants here were. It didn't even occur to me that I'd have to wear tight pants. They did all look good wearing them. "Yeah, I'll just wear these for this shift and then go buy some new ones tomorrow." Vaughn leaned forward and said, "Actually, just drive by somewhere on the way back from your first delivery and take care of it." I thought, "Wow, what the fuck?" but out loud I said, "Okay... I'll take care of it. Anything else?" "Nah, I think we're all set." I noticed that he kept looking at my shirt instead of making eye contact. I picked up my box of new things and walked into the bathroom to change and checked the t-shirt I'd worn in to see what he was looking at. I hadn't spilled anything on them from my lunch today. "Oh," I thought, realizing he was looking at my boobs. "Can't blame him," I thought to myself. I'd be looking at my boobs too if I were him, though I'd probably be a hundred times more discreet. I put on my size small Pizza Friends burgundy polo shirt and matching ballcap, adjusting it so that some of my hair flopped in front of my ears. I smiled in the mirror and thought, "Goddamn, I'm a cutey!" On the way back from my first delivery I ran into a clothing store and quickly found a cheap pair of tight white pants. The tightness I wasn't entirely used to, but I couldn't argue that I looked good in them. I bought two and wore one pair out of the store. When I got back I checked with Vaughn to make sure they were appropriate and he gave me a thumbs up. Vaughn's roommate and my fellow delivery driver Lee made comments about my appearance all night. "Nice ass," "bet you look hot in a swimsuit," "Sure you're not into guys," that kind of thing. He was the kind of overly-tanned dudebro that I couldn't wait to not spend time talking to, so I didn't egg him on. I just rolled my eyes and did my job. Madison was extremely friendly with me throughout the night and I found myself drawn into her energy, often standing by her customer service station when I was waiting for a pizza to cook to deliver it. She spent most of the night trying to talk me into wearing makeup, but right when her shift ended she came up to me and said, "hey, next time wear a thong or something, you've got a crazy bad pantyline." "Oh fuck, thanks," I said. I hadn't even thought about that. I felt self-conscious all night as I closed the store down with Vaughn. There were cameras all over the store he could watch me mopping and cleaning from in the manager's office. I tried not to look at any of them. If he was leering at me, I didn't want him to know that I knew. Thongs underwear seemed like a small price to pay not to attract attention to my butt. ~ I smiled as my dad measured me for some final adjustments to the Renn Fair costume he was making me. The tape measure was tickling me. "Keep still, Beth. No giggling," my dad said. He was always extremely serious about the Renn Fair and Trek costuming. He liked getting historical details right or at least as close to right as he had the energy to do so. He was sizing me up for a number of different things, including hosiery and a light mantle. My dad kept the heavier clothing for the cooler weather festivals. "Sure thing, dad," I replied. We had a great session this morning with Dr. Bowman. She complimented me on how I'd handled some of the "sexist" working conditions I'd been under at Pizza Friends. I'd just told her that to me my manager wasn't a big deal, "I'm guilty of thinking about women the same way," I said. My dad told me to record any misbehavior in case of a suit, but I had no interest in that kind of thing. Vaughn did unnerve me slightly in a way I couldn't quite put my finger on. He had this habit of putting me in situations where I only thought of the right response much later on after it was too late. I guess he was just a successful troll and I'd always been pretty easy to troll. I'd always been a people-pleaser, the type who doesn't like rocking the boat, but something had changed in me over the last few weeks, and not just my sex. I just felt this hesitation about putting myself into the world go away a little bit. It was the opposite feeling I'd had here and there with my wife when she started talking about music she was listening to that I didn't like and I just went along with it. Now I'd just say, "nah, not my thing." I smiled at my dad as he measured my neckline. He chuckled and said, "You look so much like your mother... it's uncanny." I nodded in response, "Yeah. Wasn't she taller, though?" My dad shook his head. "No, you're about the same height. She might've had half an inch on you." "Tell me about her, dad. Like, what kind of a woman was she?" My dad smiled and kept measuring me, "well, she was kind. Maybe too kind. Do you know the parable of the Good Samaritan?" I shook my head. "Well the parable of the good samaritan is told through the eyes of a man who travels, is beaten, robbed, tortured, you get the idea. And then a stranger comes to the man's aid, doesn't give a name, just helps. The twist is that the stranger is the Good Samaritan. Well that was your mother. She helped so many and never asked for thanks." I smiled. "That's pretty amazing. But, I mean, what kind of woman was she?" My dad stepped back and looked at me. "Oh, I see what you're asking. Umm." He scratched his chin. "Well, if I were writing a story about her, she'd be the kind of woman who was feminine despite claiming not to be. She liked to flirt with everyone, men and women, young and old. Very mirthful. She wore bright colors, even in winter. She'd wear no makeup one day and go overboard with it the next." He smiled while talking about her. I thought, "I want to be that kind of woman." I felt like I was different as a "cute girl," and my mom sounded cute and fun. "How did you two meet?" "Well, I was just starting out as a writer. Your mother had been on television and was at a convention that I was trying to sell my books at. We started talking and it turned out we were both from around Baltimore, so we just hit it off." I chuckled, "What do you think her version of that story would be?" My dad laughed and said, "oh Hell I don't know, Beth," he smiled saying my name. "She'd probably say that I charmed her immediately and so on. She loved heaping praise on me. To tell you the truth, I always thought she saw me as a good person to start a family with. She told me once she wanted to have five or six kids." My eyes went wide. "Wow," I said. "Yeah, but... I would have loved to make that dream come true for her." He finished measuring me and put down his notes. "Have you thought about kids, Beth?" he asked. "I... not really, no. I mean, Allie wanted to start a family, but we were going to wait a few years." I dodged the intent of his question. He wanted to know if I wanted to give birth to children. I pushed the thought out of my mind. My dad nodded. "I haven't seen Allie in weeks. Why don't you let me cook supper for you two on your next night off when she's in town?" "Definitely, dad." The next night off I had with her in town was tonight, but I knew my wife would kill me if I scheduled a dinner with my dad with her on such short notice. ~ I finished cleaning my bottom thoroughly in the hotel bathroom, then brushed my teeth in the nude. My areolas seemed a little wider after a week or so of being a 5'1" woman. I put on the small red satin chemise that my wife bought for me to wear. The skirt of it was slit up the side to my waist and the back was entirely open. I looked really good in it, but it felt a little odd to wear. I was happy to oblige Allie, though. I walked out of the bathroom and my wife immediately kissed me and dragged me to bed. "Oh God, I've needed this," she said to me. She was completely nude. While she kissed me on the bed, I flashed back to the previous night. We'd started similarly except I came out of the bathroom wearing a strap-on dildo she bought me. I felt a little confident wearing it, but her height was still imposing, so I asked her to get on the bed, doggy- style. "Oh, fuck yes, babe," she said as she spread her legs for me. I was a few pumps in when the leather dildo strap started chafing me, so I stopped and adjusted it. As I thrust in and out of her with the dildo, I had a kind of "out of body experience." I kept thrusting, but when my wife looked back at me she said I was making "the most painful expression I've ever seen," and we had to stop. We apologized to each other back and forth and right before it turned into an argument, I started crying. "It just feels wrong," was the only thing I could really say that sounded right. We agreed that the strap-on was out of the question and acknowledged that the mood for the night was ruined. We tried to joke about it afterwards a little, but it was awkward. Tonight was already different. I was kissing her and she was caressing my body in ways that really turned me on. Squeezing my breasts and putting her hands around my waist made me hot. "You're so beautiful," I said, kissing her neck and then her chest. I had two giant water bottles beside the bed ready for me to get dehydrated. I was going to be going through a lot of saliva tonight. I fingered my wife and sucked on her nipples for a really long time, then moved down kissing her ribs and stomach, then her mound. I began lapping at her pussy while she held her legs up for me and moaned. I loved how vulnerable she was when I used my mouth like this. I sucked and licked the folds of her labia, then inserted my tongue into her. I missed being able to put all of her pussy lips into my mouth, but at least now I had a better idea about how to properly suck and tongue her clit. She pulled at my wavy bob haircut and moaned in her sexy contra-alto voice as I sucked her folds. "Goddamn you're so fucking good at this, Ch- Beth, shit I'm sorry," she moaned. I smiled while eating her out as she moaned louder. As long as she was saying Charlie or Beth in bed, I was fine. I stuck a finger inside her and explored her vaginal walls while I kept sucking on her clit. It was easy to think, "What would I like?" while doing this. I started thrusting my finger in and out, massaging the back inner wall of her vagina. I could tell she was getting close. "Oh fuuuuuck! I'm getting close!" she squealed. I was relentless as she orgasmed, knowing how to bring her to an intense feeling and keep it going, then when she started calming down I brought myself back up to her to suck on her nipples more. "This was my reward," I thought. I got lost in the feeling of just sucking on her breast. "Oh fuck, babe. You're so good at that. You've always been good but now you're even better, mmm," she said, running her hands through my hair. I could hear the grin in her voice as she then said, "So... are you going to let me do it tonight?" I sighed as I sucked gently on her nipple and nodded. She wanted to take my "virginity," or break my hymen, I guess. I definitely wasn't a virgin, but she really wanted me to experience deep penetration. She got up out of bed and hopped over to the counter where she poured some boiling hot water out of an electric kettle into a bowl, then dropped in a rather large looking penis shaped dildo to warm it up. She set a timer then got back on the bed with me and put her hand between my legs. "Ohh, I'll use some lube," she said and grabbed a tube from off of the counter, then started massaging the viscous fluid into my pussy lips. I felt awkward and exposed to her with my ass spread apart, but as the feeling intensified, I found myself moving my body to be even more exposed. I arched my back as she worked the lube into me from behind, then turned my head to kiss her. "I'm starting to like this," I said and spread my hips so she could access me more easily. She smiled into my kiss. The timer went off and she hopped out of bed. I grabbed a towel and put it under me after drinking half the contents of a water bottle, then got into position. The dildo looked smaller and more fake close up. The dildo was warm and wet from the hot water, and Allie started rubbing it against my pussy. "Oh fuck," I said grinding against it. I put my hand between my legs and the heat emanating from between my thighs was scorching. "I'm going to start putting it in now, babe," my wife said, and I felt the tip of it enter, filling me and spreading me open. "Unnnh!" I moaned. It felt like it was deep inside me, but I could tell it was barely in. She started working it in and out more and more and I felt myself losing control of my voice. It was so intense that I barely felt the snap and tear of my hymen as she forced the dildo further into me. I registered a quick shudder then pushed back against the dildo for it to go deeper. I gripped the sheets as she pushed the dildo deep inside me, twisting it around. "Oh fuck! That's so good, fuck!" The intense feeling as she pushed it in and out was different from an orgasm, but I liked it almost as much. The way it spread me apart, every centimeter had its own rewards. It was too intense for me to do anything other than take it. When she picked up the pace, I lost myself even more in the feeling. She kept asking me if I liked it a certain way and all I could say was "yes!" to every question. I kept feeling myself get close to an orgasm but then it being just out of reach. I found myself arching my back and craving her to explore me deeper with the dildo. Eventually, she wore me out and I turned my body around to kiss her. "Oh god, Allie, that was amazing," I said, covered in sweat. "Did you cum?" "I think so," I said, but only half lied. It felt like cumming in a way the whole time, but it wasn't an orgasm like I'd given myself. "Do you want me to do that to you?" I asked. "No, let's just rest." She smiled. The next morning over breakfast we talked about the sex and I told her how incredible the dildo felt. She asked me again if I wanted to try a three-way with a guy and this time I hesitated before saying no. "What if it felt even better than the dildo?" I thought to myself. It was an unwanted and invasive thought, like getting a bad song stuck in your head. ~ I smiled at my dad as we passed the fifth Jester at the Renn Fair. "More every year," I said to my dad, teasing him about fans of his books. He chuckled in response. The Renn Fair was packed this year and I still only saw a handful of costumes that matched the work my dad had done for mine. It was my old "rogue" costume, but he'd brought the tunic in to fit my smaller figure and had shortened it as well. It still had a ton of pockets and belting, including a baldric that had fake decorative daggers. Real ones weren't allowed on the premises. My regular costume had thick leather leggings, but the light charcoal gray hosiery was a nice change. There was no way my dad was going to get the leather to fit my new body and honestly, the leggings looked nicer on me anyway. "Dad, the costume is amazing," I said. I looked up at him full of pride. "Thanks, I... you know, you are beautiful, right?" My dad said with an awkward laugh. "It's not weird for me to say that, is it?" "No dad, it's fine. I get it." I chuckled. I thought, "I know I am extremely cute," but didn't say it. It was just a fact. I smirked to myself about how confident I was in my looks. I was feeling extremely emotionally satisfied walking around the Renn Fair today. I'd spent the last few days in marital bliss with my wife. It felt like we were having a honeymoon phase all over again, or at least it did to me, and every time she penetrated me deeply with her dildo, it left me feeling extremely relaxed and happy the next day. It was a huge stress reliever for me. Sex had never been like this before in my experience. If anything, I constantly worried about my performance afterwards. I looked around at everyone while eating a giant turkey drumstick. The king and his court were making their way through the crowd and I shook my head disdainfully at all the people who hadn't dressed up. "Losers," I thought, extremely smug for someone who hadn't even made her own costume. I squinted at the King's court and said, "What the fuck?" as I saw a familiar face. It was Jonathan from work, dressed in hosiery and a black tunic with poofy arms and a lace ruffle collar. He hadn't seen me. I chuckled and waved. His eyes went wide. "Heh, dad, let's go watch the big show at the Globe Theater." We made our way through the crowd, counting the "Jesters" (we were at 9 now, mostly women), and I had to sit through at least three different "OH MY GOD LUKE MORRIS" photo sessions where I stood quietly to the side or offered to take the pic of my dad and his fans. We eventually made our way to the big stage as a large crowd gathered around it. Every year there was a continuing story about Henry VIII's life. I never paid too much attention to it, but after seeing the incredibly lackadaisical Jonathan with his dumb-looking bowl-haircut up onstage, my interest was piqued. I pointed up onto the stage and said, "I work with that guy," to my dad. "Oh huh. I miss when you used to bring friends around Chucky. Sorry, Beth," my dad blushed. "Yeah..." I had a bunch of friends in high school but they all went to nice Ivy League universities all over the place. We all completely lost touch over the last few years. I hadn't made any new friends to replace them. I was pretty happy with just Allie and my dad. I preferred really close relationships with a small number of people than lots and lots of "friends" who were really just acquaintances, though I guess now I had neither. At one point in the proceedings, I tried to catch Jonathan 's eye and wave at him. For a second I thought he'd seen me, but he never looked back in my direction again or acknowledged me. Maybe I looked too different in this costume. After the performance one of the actors who was dressed as a knight came up to me, went down on one knee and said, "My lady," then rose and put a small crown of flowers on my hair. "A token," was all he said, and then walked away. My dad and I just chuckled to each other. There were always people doing weird shit like that at this Renaissance Fair. We loved it. It made me feel a little odd, though. I found myself smirking at being flirted with by a guy instead of annoyed or offended. I wrote it off as being a feature of my extremely relaxed mood. About ten minutes later my dad found himself being hounded for photos again when I saw a familiar bowl haircut out of the corner of my eye. This time it was unmistakable, Jonathan saw me and then immediately turned around and ran. "What the f-" I stopped myself, remembering that there were kids around. "Be right back, dad," I said as I trotted in Jon's direction, avoiding running into people. Jonathan tripped on the ground a couple of times and just literally could not run in any way that wasn't remarkably clumsy, so I easily caught up to him before he could hide behind a glass-blowing exhibit. "Jon! What's wrong with you?" I barked at him. He looked at me, looked past me, then looked around, "Oh hey dude, uhh, didn't see you there." "Yeah, you did. Did you see me waving at you during the Henry VIII thing?" Jonathan grimaced and said, "Uhhh, maybe." "You definitely did! What is up?" I crossed my arms. He looked like a little kid that had been caught being bad. A massie giant little kid, but still. He grunted and exhaled air. "Dude, you didn't tell me your dad is Luke Morris," he was looking at me like I was out of my mind. "I'm basically the biggest Luke Morris fan on the planet." "Ugh, okay. So I'll introdu-" "Whoa! No! That's exactly what I wanted to avoid. Any famous people I've met have been a huge letdown. I just couldn't deal with that from Luke fucking Morris, man." He almost had his eyes closed in a sort of serene state of truth-telling. I would have thought he was high if I didn't know that he was always like this. "Jon, he's my dad. He's great. Look at him," I pointed over at my dad in his colorful bard costume, complete with working one-man-band style drums and penny whistle. He was standing with a big group of Jesters and other teens taking a picture and laughing. This was his element. "Uhhh, yeah, I see your point," he said, scratching the top of his ugly medieval hat. "C'mon," I said and jerked my head towards my dad's direction then led him over like a captive prisoner. I introduced them, Jonathan turned red and gushed for a while, my dad was kind and chatted with him. At some point Jonathan immediately stopped talking, apologized for taking up too much of my dad's time, and took a few steps back and awkwardly bowed like a doofus. "Hey," I said walking up to Jonathan as my dad took some more pictures, "see, everything was fine." Jonathan sort of snorted and chuckled, "Yeah, wow. Thanks. He's so awesome." He was giddy. "Oh! Congrats on the streaming thing, by the way." "The what?" I asked. "The streaming show of the Jester's Chronicles. Apparently they're going to spend a fortune on it." I looked at him to try and see if he was joking, but no, he was just regular old goofy as hell Jonathan. "Ah, right." I said, smiling and pretending to know what he was talking about and looked back at my dad. "You rascal," I thought. ~ "So you used my disease as an excuse to sell out?" I said with a smirk. My dad closed his eyes and sighed, then served himself some more of his spinach lasagna. He'd cooked a nice dinner for me and my wife: grilled chicken, spinach lasagna, home-made bread, fresh whipped butter, and freshly picked and boiled green beans. I was still finding ways to needle him about the secret streaming deal he'd struck. "I'd been thinking seriously about it for a while, Beth. Trust me, it was for the best." My dad adjusted his glasses. I sighed. "I'm not really mad. You know how grateful I am for all of your help with this... I just wish you'd asked me first before signing away your life's work just to help me through the Switch." My wife stayed glued to her phone as I confronted my dad with my concerns, attempting to do so with kindness. When I'd told her what he did, she thought I was being stupid for having a problem with it, so I begged her to let me talk it out with my dad at the table without her interrupting to take his side. He sighed and looked at me, then said, "I should have, you're right. I panicked, I think. That first week when you were barely conscious and just melting away before my eyes... well, that was pretty rough. I didn't want to lose you, like-I just wanted to take care of you," he paused and I could tell he was about to say "son" but he finished the sentence with, "Beth." I sighed. "I know, dad. You've been amazing." I smiled at him. I'd given him enough grief for this. "So tell me about this deal." I sipped some wine. We were already halfway through a bottle, even though my dad didn't drink. I had to "Well, they want to do a Game of Thrones type thing for it. Apparently a pretty big Hollywood actress wanted to produce it and star in it as Jester. Vera Cordero? You know of her, right?" My wife jerked up from her phone and looked at me and my dad, "Uh, yes. She's crazy famous." I nodded at my dad. "Yeah, she had the Switch too, right?" That was all I knew about her, other than that she was in a superhero film franchise. My dad nodded. "Yeah, that was part of why I picked up the phone and gave them a call. Her company sent me a proposal about half a year ago. I get a lot of them, but I remembered reading that New Yorker article about h-" "Oh yeah, with that whole monster truck rally thing?" My wife interrupted. "I have no idea how she lived, nevertheless stayed out of jail." "Yeah... it's intense," my dad agreed. "And how many people hunt game with spears? She's some kind of madwoman. Good fit for the character if you ask me." It almost felt awkward for them to be talking about something they had in common. This was a once-in-a-lifetime moment. I just nodded along. I only knew the woman from headlines here and there. I'd never actually seen any of her movies. I loved sci-fi but the superhero ones were played out for me by the time I was ten. If she started making Star Trek movies, that would be a different story. "Well, it seemed like a fortuitous coincidence," My dad smiled to himself and went back to eating lasagna, then continued with, "and you know, sometimes I like pretending that we live in a world where fate and destiny really do mean something." With no interest in fate or destiny, my wife spent the rest of the meal asking my dad about who he wanted cast in the different roles. I'd made her read one of the Jester Chronicles books and she had an amazing memory, so she still knew all the character names. When dinner was over, Allie and I headed to my room to turn in for the night. I felt so content. It was rare that my two favorite people in the world didn't have some kind of complaint about the other that they wanted to share with me after spending time with one another. I put on some pajamas, a white cotton tank top and some sleep shorts while my wife put on a nighty. We were both a little tipsy from the wine. "Hey," my wife said, kissing me before we got in bed. "Yeah?" "Why don't we do that thing we did on Sunday?" I smiled and nodded, then my wife sat on my bed in front of me while I put a suction dildo on the floor, making sure it was upright and fixed in place. I took off my sleep shorts, and rubbed some lube in my pussy, then slowly straddled the dildo on the floor, letting it fill me. I pulled my wife's towards my face by her hips on the side of the bed and started eating her out, while slowly riding the dildo on the floor beneath me. I knew just how to ride it now to work myself up to an orgasm. I had my best orgasms when I could ride it just right. We both came multiple times, but I rubbed my knees raw on the hardwood floor in the process. After I'd cum a couple of times, while I ate my wife out I thought about various types of shin guards I could use to protect my knees in the future. I decided not to tell my wife that I thought about shopping while going down on her. ~ "Oh dude, I'm supposed to tell you that I'm sorry for blabbing about knowing about that thing," Jonathan said to me immediately upon entering Pizza Friends. This was our first shift together since I saw him at the Renn Fair. I looked up at the gangly doofus with his bowl haircut and chuckled. "Why's that?" "My uncle told me that I wasn't supposed to tell anybody, and was pissed at me that I did. Anyway, I told him that you and your dad were cool and not to worry. So how's your life, Beth?" "It's pretty good. My wife's out of town for a few days. Probably going to get some reading done. I want to reread the Culture series." I knew that if Jonathan knew about my dad's work, he was probably familiar with the Culture books. "I love those books!" he said. I chuckled. Our manager Vaughn strolled up behind us while we were talking and said, "Hey Jon, I'm having some friends over tonight at my place, want to come?" Jonathan said, "Uhhh," and let his mouth hang open then looked at me. Vaughn looked at me and said, "Yeah, Morris can come by if she wants to. Don't think you've been to my and Lee's place yet, right?" I nodded and said, "That sounds cool." I hadn't gotten high in a long time and my wife was out of town. "Yeah, I haven't seen your place." Jonathan looked at me and then Vaughn and said, "I'll try to make it man, thanks for the invite." I smiled. I'd finally gotten invited to the Vaughn & Lee Apartment, where all the exclusive late-night parties were. This also meant that even though I was closing, Vaughn would make one of the other drivers close for me instead and I'd head out at 9:00 pm or so when he left the shift supervisor to finish things. Anytime he invited a driver to an afterwork party, that was exactly the routine, but every other time I was the one who got asked to close in the place of the lucky invitee. Jonathan left for a delivery and I thought, "There's no way he's coming." I'd heard that same non-committal reply a few dozen times before from him. Truthfully, I had no idea what Jonathan did outside of work beyond Renn Fair. As I was folding boxes, I felt a hand on my back and twisted around only to see Lee, Vaughn's dickhead roommate and my fellow delivery driver laughing. I felt my bra go slack and realized he'd snapped the band loose. I rolled my eyes and went to the bathroom, fixed my bra and walked out hearing Madison cussing Lee out for "pulling his bullshit." Lee laughed it off and I gave him a frown as he walked past me and headed out for a delivery. "Boys are so fucking dumb," Madison said, rolling her eyes. I chuckled and nodded. "I should get a bra that fastens in the front or zips up or something," "Uh, no! That asshole should leave you alone," Madison replied. "You should tell Vaughn about that shit." I shook my head with a, "nah, I'm good." I didn't want my night out jeopardized. I decided to change the subject. "So where's your boyfriend? I haven't seen him in a while." "Oh, I broke up with him," my 17-year-old blonde co-worker said. "Why?" I asked. It was a weekday night and there wasn't a huge staff to listen in on our conversation. Madison sucked her teeth and then looked skyward. "Like, I just wasn't feeling it in bed. Like, it got boring. All we did was meet up to have sex, and then the sex was just 'let's have sex'." I nodded. "Yeah, that sucks." I'd been feeling a little bit of that with my wife. I just didn't feel as passionately about eating her out as I used to. It used to be that I would go down on her and get her really turned on, and then we'd have sex and she'd go wild. But now it was just eating her out and that was it. Though I did love it when she dildod me. I zoned out while Madison kept talking while thinking about this issue with my wife. "Morris! Delivery's up!" Vaughn barked at me as he tapped a few pizza boxes on a rack. I smiled at Madison and got back to work, then checked in with her here and there throughout my shift to hear more about her boyfriend and why they broke up. Eventually 9:00 pm rolled around and sure enough, Vaughn got one of the other drivers to close for me. I changed out of my work polo and into a black t-shirt I had in my car, then followed him to his apartment. I sighed with relief when I found out that Lee would be at his girlfriend's tonight. I pulled up on the curb of a neighborhood a little southeast of downtown. Vaughn had a two-story brick house that was on the corner of the street, and there were already a few people on the deck chatting. Most of the people looked similar to Vaughn: lean, serious-looking, tattoos, piercings. One guy had a long bushy beard. I walked up to the deck with him as he introduced me. "This is Beth, one of my employees." I waved and smiled. "Hi." "Ohh, holy shit, are you the switch girl?" the guy with the big beard asked me, clearly drunk. I chuckled and nodded. I did make the front page news, after all. "Yeah, that's me." "That's fucking crazy, man," said a woman with an enormous amount of eyeliner. "Hey, you guys remember that dumb as fuck TV movie about that Switch shit?" Vaughn started laughing as did the rest. I smiled but had no idea what they were talking about. I didn't keep up with movies, really. They started mocking the film and quoting silly lines of dialogue from it. Vaughn handed me a red cup and said, "Rum and coke." I sipped it and smiled and listened. It wasn't too long after that for the group to make their way inside and crowd around the TV with a bong. There was only a couch and a small sofa, the latter of which I occupied with Vaughn while everyone else either found a place on the couch or an armrest or sat on the floor. It didn't take too many bong hits being passed around before I started getting questions. Eyeliner woman asked, "So like, Beth, have you gotten any dick yet?" She laughed. I was feeling pretty high, so I said, "Not unless dildos count." Everybody laughed really hard at that one, even me. Beard guy said, "I heard that switchgirls are all hot and horny and shit," he puffed some smoke and continued, "you are definitely hot." There was some awkward chuckling at that one, but it came off a little creepy so Vaughn quickly changed the subject. "Beth here is married," he said patting my back. "Pretty wife, too." I looked at Vaughn and said, "That's the fucking nicest thing you've ever said to me, man!" Everyone laughed and Vaughn smirked. "He's kind of a jerk to me at work." Eyeliner woman said, "Aww, Vaughn what the fuck? Be nice, dude." Vaughn nodded and took another hit. "That's, you know, I try to be. I try." I chuckled and the conversation moved on to Rick and Morty references for some reason, but I hadn't seen the show. We started watching it and it was making me laugh my ass off. One-by-one, people started leaving the room or the house. I guess a lot of people had already seen this show, but I hadn't so I couldn't get enough. Eventually Vaughn and I were the last people left in his living room. I was still buzzed and laughing at Rick and Morty almost as hard as Vaughn was, when I felt a little odd that we were sitting so close on the couch in a large empty room. The sitting arrangement had made sense when there was standing room only, but now it felt a little awkward. I laughed at another joke and thought, "But if I get up and move, it'll make him think that I'm self-conscious about sitting next to him." I didn't want him to think that I felt intimidated by him. Besides, I knew he liked checking out my ass. He was probably looking forward to me getting up so he could look at it again. My pants were super tight and you could probably see the top of my thong now that I didn't have a polo shirt tucked in. I heard some cars driving away. There were fewer voices outside on the deck. I leaned my head back and craned my neck around to see that the deck was empty, but as I did the back of my head bumped into Vaughn's arm stretched out behind me on the sofa. His arm felt huge as I bumped my head on it. When I turned back around Vaughn kissed me. My first reaction was to kiss him back. It should have been to jerk away or push him off me, but no. I kissed him back and closed my eyes. My heart leapt into my throat. This was a different thrill than I'd ever experienced. He put his hand around my neck and rubbed my throat with his thumb. I needed to stop. I pulled away from him and opened my eyes and said, "I shouldn't do this." Vaughn just smirked, then he pulled me in and kissed me harder, exploring my tongue with his. I could hear myself making light moans while he kissed me. He was a forceful kisser, but just the right amount of force. I thought about stopping him again, but I didn't. I just kept kissing him back. I'd already gone this far and my body was jelly at the moment. I wasn't going anywhere. Vaughn moved a hand down to my butt and squeezed it, then pulled me halfway onto his lap. I could feel myself getting wet for him. "Fuck," I thought, "this is turning me on so fucking much." I opened my eyes and made eye contact with him while we kissed. His eyes had that same intimidating intellect to them, but there was something different about them now that drew me in. Vaughn held me close with one arm and started squeezing my breasts with another. It made me moan. It was only then, after making out with him intensely for what could have been minutes, that I thought, "I guess I'm into guys a little bit after all." I closed my eyes again as he kissed me and put my arms around his neck. He pulled me all the way onto his lap and left one hand on my ass. I felt his warm cock bulging in his jeans and wondered what it would feel like inside me. "Probably a million times better than the dildo," I thought, as he pulled away from me and kissed my neck. I wanted to feel it. Having him hold me and control my body was making me shiver with pleasure, and I wondered if there wasn't a part of me that had always wanted something like this, even before the Switch. "Goddamn I want to ride his dick so bad," I thought, squirming in his lap. "Oh fuck," I whimpered. "Vaughn I can't have sex with you, I'm married." I made myself say with a whine and a gulp. "To a chick," he said, kissing me again and putting his free hand between my legs. "You're on fire, girl." I moaned as he rubbed my crotch. I couldn't stop kissing him. This new and exciting flavor of oral fixation was just too strong for me to resist. The top button of my pants popped open as he put his hand down them. Instead of resisting, I felt myself moving my body so he could more easily get to my pussy. I let out an audible whimper as he thrust a finger inside me. "Goddamn, you're so wet," he said. I felt my juices drenching his finger. "Oh, fuck," I said. I desperately wanted this man, who before about one hour ago I thought was the biggest asshole in the world, to take me into his bedroom and fuck me. And then I wanted to ride his cock. I wanted it so bad. I whimpered as he fingered my pussy. Something about his hand being between my legs was driving me crazy. This was getting close to being out of control. With his finger still inside me, I pulled away and looked at him. "Vaughn, I have to leave." This time when he moved forward to kiss me I jerked my head away. He smirked and squeezed my butt, then said, "All right, girl." Then he leaned back stretching his arms up and let out a low groan of disappointment. I nodded and stood up in front of him, buttoning my pants. I looked down at the jacked tattooed dude with a hard-on who'd just fingered me and thought, "I still really want to him to fuck me." I winced internally. Vaughn took a deep breath and then stood up, guiding me towards his door by the small of my back. "You're a pretty good kisser, girl," he said to me. I turned around and looked up at him. I already missed the warm feeling of his big hands on my body. "We can't do this again," I croaked. "Right," he said, putting his hands around my waist and kissing me again. I felt his hard-on through his jeans pressing into my stomach. He lifted me up by my ass, squeezing and spreading my butt while we locked lips. I put my arms around his neck, then wrapped my legs around his waist. He pressed my back against his front door and grinded his bulge between my legs, kissing me hard as I moaned. "He could be holding me in mid-air and fucking me right now," I thought. I heard voices coming into the house from the deck and I tapped Vaughn's shoulder saying, "Okay, okay." He let me down before anyone entered the living room area and I quickly opened the door to leave. "See you at work," he said, watching me from his doorway. I nodded and walked towards my car. When I got in, I hesitated before turning the keys. My whole body shuddered as I released pent up sexual energy. "Oh fuck," I said out loud to no one, and put my head on the steering wheel. It's always a huge shock when you suddenly find out you're straight. ~ The next few days at work were a little awkward. I almost got into a couple of wrecks. I took the wrong order to the wrong address once. I dropped a pizza. Lots of things. Vaughn reacted to each of these mistakes with the serenity of the Buddha. In my previous life, he would have fired me and made me beg for my job back. Instead, Vaughn looked at me like I was a present under the Christmas tree that he was waiting to open. Lee left me completely alone during this time. He must have figured something was up or Vaughn might have just told him that he fingered me on his sofa Tuesday night. I filled my daytime hours working on my Star Trek outfit for the upcoming Trek convention and masturbating thinking about riding Vaughn's dick. I'd started wearing a little bit of makeup at work: foundation and a little eyeliner. I had plenty of experience with makeup from some of my dad's more interesting costume ideas over the years. I worried about all the switchgirls out there who had to learn everything from scratch in that department. I wondered how many other switchgirls had been caught so off guard by their sexual attraction change. Mine had literally come out of no-fucking-where. I got up the nerve to post about this on the subreddit, r/BeSwitched. Title: "Sexual Attraction to guys came outta nowhere." Almost all of the replies were supportive, but most of the women had "noticed" something early on. I couldn't think of anything. One commenter asked for more details and when I gave them, a lot of replies told me that they had similar reactions to men. "It wasn't a thing until it was a thing," said some comment, and that one felt 100% true. I thought about men. I didn't know what I liked about Vaughn. He was in good shape, but I thought about him being thicker around the waist and missing some hair while still being "Vaughn" and thought, "I'd still let him fuck me." Maybe it was confidence. I also liked that his teeth were very white and clean and he didn't have bad breath, better than my wife's half the time to be honest. There I went with my oral fixation again. One night I saw Vaughn's redhead girlfriend walking out to her car at work once when I'd just gotten back from a delivery. I found myself sizing her up and comparing her body to mine. I thought that my frame was a little bit sexier, because my hips flared out a little more from my smaller waist, but she was still very pretty. I wondered if she would be able to tell by looking at me that I wanted her boyfriend so badly. Another thing preoccupying my mind was what I would tell Allie, or whether I should at all. I'd cheated on her, which was huge, but more than that I'd been shown a part of myself that I couldn't now not see. I was still attracted to Allie but not anywhere near how much I was to Vaughn. He was going to get me sooner or later. I was thinking about all of this and more when I finally got word from my wife that she was going to be in town for a couple of days. I wore a plaid button-down shirt and a short black skirt with some new Dr. Martens to the hotel. I saw her getting out her room door keycard with one hand while typing on her phone with the other. She slid the keycard in to open her room right when I walked up. "Hey babe," she said, giving me a quick kiss then opening the door. "Hey," I replied, wondering if I was trying too hard to be chipper. I still hadn't decided whether to or what to tell her about my feelings. I walked into the room and sat down on the bed. Allie took off her earrings and said, "I haven't had a shower in like two days, so I'm going to get clean. Ugh, fuck. I'm so dirty." She made a grimace. I smiled and said, "Cool." I had butterflies in my stomach. After Allie went into the bathroom and started the shower, her phone started vibrating in her purse. I always respected her privacy, but today I was desperate for something to distract me from impending doom, so I got her phone out. It was unlocked. The first message that popped up on the screen was from "Brad (pilot)" and said, "you were joking about stopping birth control, right?" My guts went cold and my jaw shuddered as I sat down to read more. I scrolled and scrolled through a large number of text messages between my wife and another man. A lot of the messages were just hotel and location information for meetups, some on the other side of the world, some right here in town. "Loved spending all that time with you baby," was sent on a date right after my third phase of the Switch. She'd probably been with this guy a lot of the time I was suffering. A recent text said, "Hope your wife agrees to the thing," and I closed my eyes, realizing that she'd been trying to talk me into a three-way with this guy for weeks. It never occurred to me that she would have a specific person in mind. Or why she'd have a specific person in mind. The messages and arrangements went back for months. She'd been cheating on me with another man since late Winter. I slumped in the chair. I didn't cry. I felt a sudden panic and searched through her messages again, suddenly concerned that she might have recorded and shared that video I'd sent her, of me masturbating to this guy, but she hadn't. I did find a video, shot from over her head while she gave the person holding the camera a blowjob in a hotel room not unlike this one. I thought about walking out. The guilt of what I'd done with Vaughn mixed with the anger and hurt I felt towards my wife were both raising my anxiety levels. I didn't walk out. This was over and there was no point in prolonging it. Allie didn't deserve hearing about my cheating on her. I took a few long screenshots of her texting with Brad and then emailed them to myself from her phone for proof in case I needed it later. I mentally rehearsed what I'd say while my wife blow dried her hair, and when she came out of the bathroom wearing a towel and smiling at me, my heart broke. I really loved this woman. I thought about the video of her blowing Brad and closed my eyes. I held up Allie's phone and said, "I know about Brad," as my wife froze in horror. ~ I put my head in my hands while doing the marriage annulment paperwork on the kitchen table. My dad came up behind me and patted me on the back and put a cup of coffee next to me. "Hey, I put some extra sugar in it," he said. "Thanks." I nodded and took a sip. My dad knew that I liked my coffee sweeter when I was anxious. I'm not sure Allie would have ever picked up on that in her entire life. Now that she had crushed me, all of her negative qualities were popping brightly in my mind. My dad sat down at the table with me. "Well, at least you two didn't buy a house together or have any joint accounts," my dad said. I nodded. In Maryland, anyone who was married and caught the Switch could annul their marriage within a year of catching the disease, as long as they didn't have their name on any property worth over a certain amount or had children. The tearful confrontation I'd had with my wife yesterday still stung. She'd gotten very defensive, blaming me for her cheating on me with Brad. I wasn't buying it. I didn't tell her about Vaughn, but I had him on my mind while we argued. I knew what it was like to get carried away in the moment and have guilt hanging over you about it. She didn't feel guilty, she was just pissed she got caught. I sighed and got back to filling out the form. "You're taking this pretty well," my dad said with a half-smile. I sighed again and said, "Yeah, well, I think..." I paused for a while then said, "I think it was sorta doomed after the switch, to be honest." My dad raised his eyebrows as if to ask why. "I'm just a different person now." I didn't tell my dad that I'd already resigned myself to the fact that I'd be sleeping with Vaughn in the very near future. Not really a matter of "if," but "when." "Ah," my dad said, chuckling. "I've noticed you wearing makeup to work. You're a beautiful girl with or without it, you know." I smiled and said, "Thanks, heh. Um, there's a chance I might be out pretty late this week someday." That was as far as I would go in talking about my interest in sex with men with my dad, and I was proud of him for not blushing or making a dumb joke at the small hinting I'd gone into. I thought about him telling me I was beautiful. Maybe if I had been born a girl and was self-conscious about whether I was or not, that kind of thing would matter to me, but I could just look in the mirror and tell exactly how cute or hot or beautiful I was. Being suddenly thrown into a new body gave you a relatively objective perspective on it, like you're outside looking in. I got dressed for work and put on some makeup. I looked either "very cute," or "pretty hot," but maybe not "beautiful," despite what my dad said. Maybe if my eyes were bigger I'd be beautiful. I put a little more eyeliner on and a light amount of eyeshadow to enhance them. I wanted to be irresistible. I really didn't know how Vaughn's thing with his girlfriend worked, but the way he'd come onto me when I was in his house on top of how he'd looked at me at work lately made me think I just had to say one sentence to set things in motion. "My wife and I are splitting up," I said to Madison when I got into work, loud enough so that everyone within earshot at Pizza Friends could hear me. There was an outpouring of support, starting with Madison, then a few of my other co-workers joined in. Jonathan gave me a frown and a, "that sucks, Beth." Lee didn't say anything. A couple of the other drivers gave me condolences. At some point I looked at Vaughn and we made eye contact. He smiled first, then I did. ~ I pulled up and parked on the curb in front of Vaughn's house. He'd pulled me aside at work last night and invited me over today. I wondered at the coincidence of him scheduling my day off to line up with his and smirked. I put my phone in my pocketbook and reapplied a little bit of lip gloss in the rearview mirror. It was only 8:00 pm, so there was a little bit of light left as I got out of my car and walked up to the house. I was wearing a short blue and white striped skirt with a white t-shirt and blue flats. I hoped to not be wearing the clothes for long. I'd been craving this follow-up to last week for days. He was going to have to make the first move, though. In all of my fantasies, I never made the first move. He opened the door before I could knock, saying "hey, come on in." Vaughn was barefoot and wearing an old pair of jeans and a black t-shirt that said, "Pinkershaft" on it, which I guessed was a niche genre band I didn't know. I could feel his body heat as I walked past him. I walked in and he closed the door behind me. "Nice skirt," he said with a smirk. I looked up at him and half-smiled. "Good weather for it, you should try wearing one sometime." "Oh yeah? What makes you think I haven't?" he asked, making constant eye contact. The tension was thick. I backed away and leaned on a wall, arching my back a little. "Drink?" he asked. I nodded and he walked by me and into his kitchen. I turned my head to watch him get out a couple of glasses. His shoulders looked so broad as he poured us a couple of rum and cokes. "Sorry about the wife," he said with a smile, handing me my drink. I smiled and sipped my drink, "I'm not." I was firmly in "fuck Allie" mode after she'd sent me some slightly abusive overnight texts. I was currently blocking her. "Oh yeah?" he smirked and drank half his drink, then put on the table. "Yeah, I bet you're probably not too upset..." He took my drink out of my hand and put it on the kitchen counter, then pulled me close and kissed me. I wrapped my arms around his ribcage and kissed him back. I couldn't even put into words how good it felt to just have him walk up and kiss me. No awkwardness, no trepidation, just pure attraction. He squeezed my ass through my skirt and lifted me up against the wall. "I was gonna make you beg for this Morris, but holy fuck you are a sexy piece of ass," he said between kisses. I moaned into his mouth, happy that I'd been able to override his attempt to play it cool. "You're such an asshole," I said, wrapping my arms around his neck and meeting his tongue with mine. I spread my legs and wrapped them around his waist as he put his hands under my skirt to hold my butt. "No, I'm very nice," he said, carrying me away from the kitchen area and down a hallway. He kicked open a door behind us and put me on a bed with plaid flannel sheets, then got on top of me kissing me and squeezing my tits. He lifted my white t-shirt up and pulled it over my head, then started rubbing my nipples through my bra, which made me moan. I suddenly felt paranoid that his shitty roommate Lee might see me like this and said, "Can we close the door in case Lee comes by?" Vaughn hesitated, maybe thinking about arguing with me, but got off the bed and closed the door. "Better?" He asked while taking off his shirt. He didn't have as many tattoos on his chest as I thought he would, but he was cut. I nodded as he took my flats off before getting back on the bed with me. My bra was off before I knew it, "Oh fuck," I said as he massaged my breasts and rolled my stiff nipples between his teeth. He was making me incredibly wet. I pulled away and got up on my knees on the bed, tugging my skirt off while he rubbed his cock looking at my tits. He reached over and gripped my inner thigh to pull me towards him. I rubbed the bulge in his jeans. It turned me on so much to think he was hard because of me. He pulled me close by my ass and we started kissing again while I continued rubbing the outline of his cock. I unbuttoned his jeans and unzipped them as he tugged them down along with his briefs. He was well-groomed and his cock was thick with a dark red head. I wrapped my hand around it feeling its warmth and started gently stroking it. I loved the fleshy feel of it. "Sure you weren't gay before this?" he asked with a smirk. I giggled and said, "I don't know," then he kissed me again. I moaned and played with his cock as we kissed. "Do you want me to suck your dick?" I asked, thinking more about how I wanted to do it than whether he'd like it or not. Truthfully, as soon as I'd touched it, I wanted to put my mouth on it. He raised his eyebrows and nodded, as I leaned over his body. I kissed the head of his cock and tasted a little pre-cum, then licked his shaft. "Oh fuck," I thought, "this is triggering my oral fixation so hard I might die." I moaned as I wrapped my lips around the head of his warm cock, then worked it into my mouth, running my tongue under it as I sucked. I loved the feel of it in my mouth, and shivered a little from excitement. I closed my eyes and sucked Vaughn's dick harder and tried to get it deeper into my throat, but felt my gag reflex almost kick in. I covered his cock in my saliva and instead of deep-throating it, I stroked the bottom of his shaft with my hand while sucking the rest. "Goddamn, girl!" Vaughn said, as he gripped my ass and growled. "Fuck me, you're good at that." I slowed down a little. I didn't want to get him off with my mouth. He ran his hands through my hair, then started removing my panties. I closed my eyes and kept sucking his dick, lost in the feeling of it. "You must have sucked a lot of dick, girl." I ignored his comment and moaned, sucking him harder. He slipped a finger into my wet pussy and said, "Come here, girl." I looked up at him and made my way up his body. He pulled me close and kissed me as he kicked off his jeans and briefs, tossing them on the floor. I wanted to feel his cock in me. If he didn't say anything about a condom, I wouldn't either. He rolled me onto my back and I spread my legs for him, then looked intently into my eyes and kissed me as he positioned the head of his penis at my entrance. My eyes rolled back in my head and I shuddered as he slowly penetrated me. "Ohh fuck, yes," I squealed as he filled me, forcing my vaginal walls apart with this thick cock. I whimpered girlishly as he pumped me rhythmically in the missionary position. "Fuck, you're tight," he said, thrusting deeper inside me. I moaned loudly, "Your dick is so deep, oh fuck," as Vaughn fucked me on his bed. I tingled like crazy at the fleshy warmth of his penis thrusting into my sensitive pussy. He grimaced and slowed down, pinning my legs back and fucking me slow and deep. I felt the muscles in his arms and back flexing as he used his body to thrust in and out of me. "Your cock feels so fucking good inside me," I squeaked between moans. Every time he thrust into me, it was like a wave of pleasure. I tried to spread my hips wider so he could get deeper. I knew I was whimpering and squealing loud enough for anyone in the house to hear, but couldn't stop myself. Hopefully his roommate hadn't come in. "I'm going to cum," he said. He came down close to me mashing my tits against his muscular chest. He thrust quickly, my ass clapping against him from below, as he shot his load in me. I liked the feeling of it, especially with his large warm body pressed against me. He gripped my neck while he made sure to pump me full of his cum, then kissed me passionately saying, "goddamn." Afterwards, we stayed naked on his bed and watched some TV while he spooned me. Then about half an hour later he was hard again. I straddled him and rode his thick penis slow and deep, building up to an orgasm, and then bounced my ass on his cock until I came hard. I couldn't help but squeal and gasp. All he had to do was stay erect and I could orgasm while riding his cock. It was like magic and the dildo didn't even come close. "Holy fuck your voice is sexy when you cum, baby," he said to me afterwards, holding me close and playing with my ass. Being naked with a man who wants to grope me constantly was an interesting role reversal for me. I kissed him and thought, "So in one night I've gone from 'Morris,' to 'girl,' to 'baby,' huh." This guy played hard but was weak against me, I could tell. Knowing I was hot or cute, and knowing exactly what a straight guy like Vaughn was thinking, felt almost like cheating when it came to this type of thing. He offered to let me sleep over, but I declined on account of Lee. I got dressed, but left my panties on the floor because he had been a dick to me in the past, and I liked the idea of his girlfriend finding them. I smirked thinking about how Vaughn really brought low cunning out in me. His roommate was still at work, so when Vaughn walked me to the door with his cock out, I got on my knees "like a good girl," as he said, and gave him a blowjob. He asked to record it but I said no, despite it turning me on when he said it. His cum tasted bad, mildly salty and sour, but I didn't find it gross. After blowing him, I wanted to leave before his roommate came home from work, so I said goodnight and walked out to my car. The cool night air felt amazing blowing up my skirt and grazing my freshly fucked pussy. On the drive back home I stopped at a stoplight and saw a text from him saying, "You left something here..." I smirked at it and replied, "I'll pick them up tomorrow before work." I smiled thinking about getting laid again. The rest of the night I mostly thought about how I was stupid to have not made him use a condom, but I didn't regret it. It felt amazing. I only had about a month or so left of the "safe zone" for not being able to get pregnant after the Switch. I'd need to get on birth control soon, though. I loved his cock but the idea of having Vaughn's baby made me nauseous. ~ I crossed my legs and took a sip of coffee as I relaxed on the armchair to chat with Dr. Bowman about my progress. I was wearing a powder blue and orange floral print summer dress. I'd done some shopping the day after my first time with Vaughn. Breezy skirts and dresses were all I seemed to have a taste for. They had become my uniform outside of work. I loved walking by mirrors or seeing my reflection and thinking, "cute girl alert." "You look happy and healthy, Beth," Dr. Bowman said with a smile. "I feel pretty good." I was still "sated" from sex the other day. It had a powerfully calming effect on me. I shrugged and said, "I feel pretty amazing after some really, really good sex, to be honest. It has a powerfully calming effect on me. I needed it." She was my therapist, she deserved to hear my inner monologue. She thoughtfully paused and said, "With your wife?" "No, with a man," I said, matter-of-factly. She didn't seem surprised. "Oh, well that is a big step. How do you feel about that?" I took a deep breath and said, "I don't really think it was that big of a step. I just let it happen." I smiled and shared more, saying, "Guys are just really intense in bed. Like they want every part of you. You just have to make it easy for them to come get you. " "You told me you dated a number of women as a man. It doesn't sound to me like you've ever had much trouble when it came to romance." I replied, "I just feel so much more confident as a woman than I did as a man. About sex, I mean." I chuckled. "I don't know, it's just great." "Why do you feel more confident now?" She seemed genuinely curious, not just doing her job. "Well, I feel like I just know how to play the game better on the other team," I smiled. She half-smiled and said, "Well, it's good that you're feeling confident. Would you like to talk about your wife?" "Sure. She cheated on me. I found messages between her and another man going back pretty far. These new feelings towards men on top of that and I just stopped caring about her, to be honest. Though, I do miss her smile, that way she made me feel. She was always bright, happy, and fun. I loved that about her." "That's... I'm deeply sorry, Beth. A betrayal of that magnitude takes a toll." Dr. Bowman seemed taken aback and inched forward in her seat with body language implying that she wanted to hear more. "It's extremely common for the switch to end marriages, which is stressful enough, but infidelity is a heavy burden on the psyche as well." I shrugged and said, "I'm ready to move on." "I see." "That's right," I said with a slight glare. I respected Dr. Bowman, but if she tried to talk me into forgiving my wife for months and months of infidelity, she was going to get nowhere with me. "Do you think it's possible that you're covering up your grief over the end of your marriage with this new sexual relationship." I sighed and said, "No, I..." then I thought about it for a second. "I did pretty much immediately act on and kind of obsess over an infatuation. An exciting one." She nodded and said, "Just think about it. Let yourself grieve for the relationship. You've been hurt." "Yeah," I said, then paused. "It feels really good to have this thing that's just sex, though. And I am so completely blown away by sex now. Oh, god, it's just so great," I said looking at the ceiling. Dr. Bowman chuckled. "It's always interesting to me, you know, seeing how my patients change their minds or find new things to appreciate about sexuality after the Switch." "Do you treat a lot of people like me? That feel how I do?" She took a deep breath and said, "I treat a lot of young women who do find it empowering in a way. Of course, some are luckier than others when it comes to certain privileges." "Ah, yeah. I can imagine." I felt a little chastened. Would I be having as much fun if I wasn't as pretty or desirable? "That's a stupid question," I thought, mocking myself. "I hear what you're saying though, about grieving the relationship. Maybe if I hadn't met this guy, I'd be dealing with this differently, but..." I didn't know what else to say, so I just trailed off. "Do you see a future with this man?" I scoffed and said, "Hell no. We don't have anything in common except for sex. He's a massive dickhead, to be honest." She smiled and nodded, "When I caught the switch, I had the opposite experience. I married the first man I formed a relationship with. He'd been a good friend of mine from before. He was like a stable foundation and I was blowing left and right after the Switch." "That's really cool," I said. "I haven't even told my 'friends' yet. The guys I used to hang out with in school. They all moved away. They're all huge dorks." She smiled at me and I said, "You're thinking, 'Beth is a huge dork too' I bet." "I was not thinking that, Beth," she said calmly. I chuckled and said, "I think my attraction to men is pretty wide open. I mean, I guess I'm starting to figure out what my preferences are." "Would you have dated yourself before the change?" "Oh, that's a really good question, let me think." I thought about what it would be like if I was delivering pizza with a guy like I used to be. I was shy around women. I laughed thinking about how awkward I would be around my female self. "This is really funny to think about. I used to be kind of shy around women. The guy I'm seeing right now isn't shy at all, but I think I might like it if I made a guy nervous. But not too nervous." She smiled at me and said, "You're smart, confident, and beautiful, Beth. Trust me, they'll all be nervous." ~ I pulled up to Pizza Friends and got out of my black Honda hatchback, holding a couple of empty pizza bags. I only saw Vaughn and Madison through the front window. "Hey," I said to Madison, coming back inside. "Oh, cool. Vaughn said I could head home when you got back. It's been super slow tonight," she said, punching the clock. "I've got a date with this really hot college guy." "Yeah? Pic?" I said, feeling Vaughn eyeing us from the back of the shop. She shuffled through the photos on her phone and pulled one up of two pretty hot looking guys with matching red shirts on. "Tim's on the right, the one on his left is on his polo team." "Oh, nice. Is he single?" I said with a smirk. "I'll have to ask," she chuckled. "I didn't know you were into gu-" "Madison, you can go home," Vaughn interrupted. "Okay!" Madison called back, then grimaced at me and rolled her eyes and said, "Have fun," to me, clearly worrying about my being left along with the boss. I sauntered towards the back of the takeout restaurant and started loading up the dishwasher. I smiled when I heard footsteps behind me, then gasped when Vaughn gave my ass a good slap and squeeze. I turned my head around to kiss him. "Damn your ass looks good in those pants, baby," he growled. "Mm, yeah. I know you like when I wear really tight pants," I said kissing him. He lifted me up and put me on a table near the dishwasher. Hours later, my vagina still felt ready for him from the amazing sex we'd had before the shift when I'd dropped by his house for a quickie. I'd been getting fucked by him every two or three days for the last few weeks. He had plans with his girlfriend tonight, but I had him to myself until the end of the shift. "I was thinking I should reward you for giving me that good, long orgasm today." "Oh yeah," Vaughn said with a smirk, holding me by my hips. "Let's go in your office," I said, hopping down. Vaughn walked into his office and sat down, while I got on my knees in front of him and rubbed his crotch. He was already getting hard for me. I unzipped his pants and got out his dick, smiling up at him and rubbing it on my lips. I was getting wet. He took off my Pizza Friends ballcap to watch me as I wrapped my lips around his penis and started sucking, whimpering as I enjoyed the taste. His warm cock felt so good on my tongue. I looked up at him while I sucked it and made eye contact. "Oh fuck you're so hot," he said. He put his hand on the back of my head and guided me lower onto it. I'd been working on my gag reflex, but still wasn't quite where I wanted to be when it came to getting dick down my throat, so I gagged a little. I pulled his cock out of my mouth and spit on my hand, stroking him and kissing the tip of his penis. Then I started licking the shaft and smiling at him. His mobile phone started ringing as I put his cock in my mouth again. I closed my eyes and blew him while he answered the phone. I chuckled internally recognizing his girlfriend's voice. I bobbed my head up and down on his cock sucking hard, trying to distract him from the call, and heard a slight grunt in his voice. All right, see you in a few," he said, hanging up and groaning, "Goddam, girl." "How far away is she?" I asked with a devilish grin. "Few minutes. On her way," Vaughn said with a slight twinge of worry. I stood up and unbuttoned my pants, sliding them down, then turned around and bent over, slowly removing my panties. "Plenty of time," I said as he pulled me down onto his lap and shoved his cock into my wet pussy. I moaned loudly as I bounced on his cock reverse cowgirl, hearing the office chair squeaking with our body movements. He squeezed my breasts through my polo Pizza Friends shirt while his cock pulsed deep inside me, filling me with his cum. After our quickie, I pulled up my panties and then tucked my shirt into my pants, then went to the back to finish washing dishes. A minute later Vaughn's girlfriend Hannah walked into the store. I thought to myself that she'd put on a couple of pounds since I last saw her, but she was still very pretty. I smiled, still feeling warm and tingly from the sex. "Hey," I heard behind me. I turned around and Hannah was smiling at me, "Beth, right?" "Yeah, hi," I said, smiling. She'd never spoken to me before and Vaughn and I never talked about her. I was playing it cool but also intently scanning her to see if she thought I might be someone her boyfriend was fucking. For all I knew, Vaughn was lying to everybody about them having an open relationship, I really didn't know. "I'm Vaughn's girlfriend, Hannah." "Nice to meet you," I said, not sure what else to say to her. She was wearing a pair of skinny black jeans and a loose blouse. Her bright hair was tied up and curled in intricate ways, that either meant she spent a ton of time working on it or she'd just gotten it professionally made up. She had freckled pale skin, bright blue eyes, and a slight overbite. "So, you're the one who caught the Switch, right?" "Ah, yeah. That's me," I said, with a half-smile. For people who knew about me through someone else, this type of "wow, I have questions" introduction wasn't uncommon. "I can't even imagine what you've gone through. But, like, I actually met the woman who gave it to you. I'm an ER nurse at AAMC and she came in that night, Karen did, I had to call the CDC and everything. I can't believe Vaughn didn't tell you," she chuckled. "Oh wow, that's crazy," I said. There had been a small outbreak in Annapolis when I caught the Switch, but luckily it had only been me and Karen Stevenson, a 27-year-old woman who'd had a hibernating version of the virus. She'd gotten scared and headed to the ER right before I dropped off the pizza at her house and contracted the virus from somewhere around her doorway. "Yeah, it was the first time I'd seen it, but we'd been trained for it, for locking things down and sanitizing and stuff." She frowned and sighed, "It's just such terrible luck that you got it. If you'd been like 5 or 10 minutes slower to the house I think the bacteria wouldn't have been able to infect you." I chuckled, "Yeah, I've thought about that." I thought about how my dad had sold the TV and film rights to his life's work to pay to help me through the Switch, but also how much happier I was as a woman. I was "unlucky," but I also felt "lucky." "It hasn't been all bad, you know," I said. "Oh? Oh right, yeah, I went to nursing school with someone who got it and he said he preferred being a guy. Something about how the disease affects your mind, the rewiring, right? Cortical remapping and neuroplasticity are areas I haven't studied too much." "Oh wow, did you learn that to become a nurse?" "No, no. I'm nursing and going to med school at UMD. I just finished a pre-med degree there. Are you in school?" I shook my head. "Nah. I just decided to work after high school. Maybe I'll go to school later. I'm not sure." My dad didn't have a degree and never pushed me to. "I saw in the paper that your dad's a writer. The only thing Vaughn ever told me about you is that you play dress-up at Star Wars conventions. Does he write that kind of thing?" She asked, probably not realizing how condescending she sounded about the hard work my dad and I put into costuming or the amazing community of people we found a home with when we went to the convention. "Typical," I thought, but out loud I said, "Yeah, he writes fantasy, not sci-fi." "Awesome, that's really cool," she said, filling the air with words she didn't think about or believe. I chuckled and said, "Yeah." I wanted to insult her, but just smiled and let there be enough silence for me to get back to work. A few minutes later I went to the bathroom to pee and let her boyfriend's semen leak out of me and thought about Vaughn, wondering if he was intimidated by Hannah. I think he had a business degree, but I didn't know from where. As I swept and mopped the floor of Pizza Friends, Vaughn and Hannah hung out in the manager's office silently, just looking at their phones. I wondered if their sex was as good as mine and Vaughn's. I wondered if Vaughn would figure out a way to get out of their day together and text me tomorrow to come by. I also wondered why I felt absolutely zero jealousy watching him with his gf. ~ I pulled up about two blocks from Jonothan's uncle's house in Arundel Bay, one of the nicest neighborhoods in town that wasn't just hidden estates, like where my dad lived. Cars were lined up and I passed Vaughn's Jeep Wrangler looking for a spot. Most of the cars were probably here for Jon's birthday party. I checked my makeup in the rearview mirror. I looked hot. I'd gotten off work at 9:00 and changed in the bathroom into a tight and short halter dress with a red and mostly white floral print. Tonight was my two-month anniversary of being a 5'1" woman, and I was finally wearing heels in public. Short heels, but still. I stepped out of the car and started walking towards the address Jonathan had given us. A handful of guys walked past me and seemed very high, but they were almost jogging toward the same direction I was going. Before they saw me they were laughing and joking, but it was all whispers after they saw me until one of them asked my name. I kept walking and thought about saying something, but didn't reply. Luckily they moved on after getting the message. I'd been a woman for two months and I'd already gotten used to strange men asking me my name and trying to talk to me. It happened on deliveries, when I went shopping, basically any time I was in public. Probably at least once a week since I switched. Dr. Bowman had complimented me on embracing a lot of femininity, but I told her that truth: that I just liked looking good. So bothered I would get. "Damn, I feel pretty cocky in this sexy little dress and heels," I thought with a smirk. A little black dress wasn't my style, but this brightly colored floral one was perfect. I headed towards voices, lights, and music, making my way around a large modern house along a concrete path. My butt and thighs were a little sore since I'd started jogging and doing squats a few weeks ago. I wanted to stay in shape, but I'd probably gone a little too hard today for a night of walking in heels. The crowd at this party was huge and there was a small band playing instrumental rock music. I didn't see anyone I knew and started looking around, making my way through the crowd. Sizing up the other women around, I felt relieved that I'd dressed appropriately. The conversations I overheard were almost entirely negative. "This house is garbage." "That nephew is a waste of space." "This band is terrible." Was this entire crowd full of angry jerks? "Beth!" I heard a familiar voice behind me calling my name and turned around to see the oafish and kind birthday boy, avoiding one or two collisions with party guests as he headed my way. "Hey, Jonathan. Thanks for inviting me," I said, noticing that he was the only person I'd seen wearing shorts. Or a t-shirt. Or an epicly ugly haircut. "No, thank you for coming. You look... so the Pizza Friends gang is over there," Jonathan pointed towards the back and we walked over. I saw Vaughn, Vaughn's girlfriend Hannah, and Lee, as well as a few other guys, but none of the younger women or Madison. "'Sup?" Vaughn said. Hannah smiled and said, "Hi." Lee just looked at my body and kept drinking. "At least I always know what Lee's thinking," I thought. "Hey, nice seeing you guys," I said, mostly talking to Hannah. "You look amazing, Hannah," I said, genuinely admiring her black dress. It was slimming on her. "No, oh my god, you look so good. Do you do your own makeup?" she asked, and I realized that she still saw me as a recently Switched guy. "Oh, does it look good? I was just following YouTube tips," I lied. I liked playing along with false humility. Besides, I didn't want to tell her that years and years of cosplay teaches you things about makeup. I also knew enough to know that I was hot enough to inspire jealousy and I didn't want her thinking I was after her man. I was keeping my eyes off of Vaughn, even though Vaughn and I hadn't had sex in a couple of days and I was missing it. We'd been apart because Hannah was on school break and they were spending the long weekend together. I did catch myself getting that feeling for a few seconds, the desire to tease Vaughn and make him want to play with me. Maybe we could sneak somewhere inside the house... "Hey, uh! Attention, everyone!" I heard a man's voice coming from somewhere in the crowd, and people started forming a circle. "Jon, get over here!" the same man said. The tall and awkward guy standing beside me with a hideous bowl haircut clumsily made his way into the crowd with a heavy sigh. I suddenly recognized that the t-shirt he was wearing was a stylized version of the world of Earthsea, from Ursula Le Guin's books. I'd need to tell him that I was jealous of that shirt. Our little group finally became part of the circle, and I made sure that I was standing in front of Vaughn. I wanted to see if I could get him in trouble with Hannah for looking at my ass. I didn't really like wearing tight dresses, I preferred a breezy or flowing look, but I wanted to "dress up," and I knew I looked good in it. "Thank you all for coming!" the man said, putting his arm around Jon. I figured this was Jon's uncle, the film producer, whose house we were at. I still didn't actually know his name, so I pulled out my phone and looked him up while he made some inside jokes to a few people in the circle. Tom Creech is his name. He produced that hugely popular series of big budget dinosaur Shakespeare movies which I had zero interest in. I looked up as he was finishing. "And that's why I'm hoping Jon here follows in my footsteps one day!" Everyone clapped, but I didn't. There was something off about the uncle and Jonathan looked uncomfortable. Jonathan was probably the most considerate and selfless person I had ever met, and I just didn't see any of that reflected in the rest of the people at this party. He handed Jonathan the microphone, and he sheepishly said, "Hey, thanks everybody," then looked over at me and said, "Uhhh, happy birthday! To me, I mean!" There was some awkward laughing and Jonathan handed the microphone back to his uncle who quickly reminded everyone that there was plenty of shrimp left. I sighed and suddenly felt like I'd rather be anywhere else in the world than at this party being commanded to eat shrimp. I looked back at the Pizza Friends group and saw that Hannah was on her phone, I tilted my head back and looked at Vaughn like a doe that he, a wolf, should tear into and eat. I was a much better meal than shrimp. Vaughn put his arm around Hannah and guided her towards the shrimp, and also conveniently directed her body away from me as we locked eyes. I smiled to myself and turned back around as Jonathan and his uncle, Tom Creech, walked towards me. "So this is Beth Morris!" Jonathan's uncle bellowed, hugging me and air- kissing me on both cheeks. I was a little shocked. He was wearing a nice suit and fairly tall, still nothing on Jon, but had extremely coiffed jet black hair, which given his age was an obvious dye-job. "I'm glad Jon invited you. Congratulations on your dad making that big, big deal," he whispered, leaning down. Jonathan was looking like he'd swallowed something sour. I got the impression that he didn't have a high opinion of his uncle. "Thank you," I replied, diplomatically. It still stung that my dad had made a deal due to my disease. Someone came by and served me a glass of champagne, not even bothering to check my ID. I shrugged and sipped it. "Jon tells me that you're a model? Have you thought about acting?" He smiled and gave me a look that made me feel like he expected me to agree with him. I looked at Jonathan and cocked an eyebrow saying, "No, I'm not a model... I'm not sure what he was talking about." Jonathan looked just as confused as I was. "It's flattering that you'd sa-" Creech interrupted with, "Oh, well! You should consider it, let me introduce you to some people here. A few are casting agents that sort of thing." Jon's uncle started guiding me through the crowd by my lower back. Everyone he introduced me to was much older than I was and I had a really hard time remembering their names. Creech would introduce me as "Luke Morris's daughter, Beth," then talk about how great my dad's streaming deal was and how I was an aspiring model. I barely got a word in, but each of the groups ate it up. Waiters kept bringing me champagne and after a couple of glasses, I was starting to loosen up. A few more glasses after that and I was starting to think I really was an aspiring model. And a few more glasses after that, I didn't mind that Jon's uncle was letting his hand drift further down my lower back until he was just resting it on the top of my ass. "Oh, hey!" Jonathan said, coming up to me during one of his uncle's introductions. "Beth! I want to show you something." Jonathan put his hand on my shoulder just enough to guide me away from his uncle towards the house. "Damn, you're so tall, dude. I love that shirt, fuck, Earthsea is so good. Wish there was a decent TV or movie version, you know." I was slurring words but trying to hide it. Jonathan smiled at me and brought me into the house, then poured me a glass of water in the kitchen. The room suddenly started spinning. "Hey, Jonathan," I said, extending some of the vowels and syllables. "I think I had too much champagne." Jonathan laughed and said, "uhh yeah. Why don't I drive you home?" "No, man, I'll uhhh call a rideshare." "Hey, I do rideshares when I'm not delivering," he cunningly replied. "Oh yeah. Well that would be awesome then. Hey, did Vaughn go home? Did you see his girlfriend?" Jonathan said, "Yeah, they already left," as he directed me out the front door of the house in order to avoid any party guests in the back seeing us leave. "I hope she doesn't hate me for being prettier than she is. Actually, I don't really care. She's a stuck up bitch. She told me my cosplay was just 'dress up' the other day." I was saying all of this while Jonathan chuckled and helped me into the passenger seat of his Land Rover. His car was huge, clean, and smelled good. I buckled up as he got in and started the car. "What's your address?" he asked. I told him and he put it in the dashboard GPS. He started driving and had a smile on his face. "What was I talking about? Oh yeah, Vaughn. That guy is so cocky but he's really like... I don't know. Simple, right? 'Just show me a butt and some boobs.' Do you know what I mean?" I looked at Jonathan expecting him to follow my drunken rambling. Jonathan was chuckling. "You are really, really funny when you're drunk." I started laughing and realized that my dress was hiked up very far. I scooched it down over my thighs and said, "Oh fuck, this dress is too short. Damn, dude. Dresses and skirts are so great. Dudes are missing the fuck out." Jonathan said, "Well, I've worn kilts," but I drunkenly ignored him and started a new conversation. "I think that there're two kinds of men, dude. Guys who like women who wear tight pants and shorts and stuff, and then the guys who like women wearing dresses and skirts. I'm still trying to figure out what guys I like better." "Oh, I thought you were only into girls?" "I like girls but guys are just so much better. I... hmm." I smiled and stopped myself from going into detail about my newfound love of dick. I thought, "He's halfway to my house," looking at the area. I felt grateful for him driving me home. "Jonathan, why don't you have a girlfriend? You're probably the best person I know, dude." I was genuinely curious. Jonathan took a deep breath and said, "Uhhh well I haven't asked anyone out in a while." "Well you should, man. So I have only been a girl for like two months and wow, like, dudes with confidence are great. But like, it does suck being hit on all the time. But yeah... Ugh, that's something I don't miss, worrying about asking girls out." Jonathan sighed and said, "Yeah. It's not a skill I have." "Oh man, that sucks dude," I said, thinking about how Vaughn had just invited me over and nearly screwed me while I was still married. I guess my wife had given into the same thing. I hadn't even found him attractive before he kissed me. Now I found myself drawn to similarly lean and tattooed guys. "Well look, as a girl, I say if your instincts aren't helping you meet girls, then go against them." "That's... you might be onto something there, Beth." Jonathan looked extremely thoughtful about what I'd just said. It made me smile at him, then I suddenly realized we were parked in front of my house. "Oh wow, thanks. Seriously, I mean it. I owed you before and I owe you so much more. I think your uncle was basically grabbing my ass." I laughed but Jonathan didn't. "Yeah, I'm royally fucking pissed at him for that." I'd never seen Jonathan even remotely angry before. "That guy's a creep!" "Dude, it's just my butt." I smirked and chuckled. "He's the weirdo for wanting to touch the thing I poop out of." Jonathan cracked a smile and it made me happy. I really didn't want him to be angry on my account. "I, look... if I wanted you to get angry, I trust you would and I'm really glad you got me out of that situation and back home. You're amazing." He smiled and nodded while I opened the door and got out. "Goodnight, dude," I said. Before I closed the door Jonathan said, "Wait! Uhhh..." "Yeah?" "So," he asked with a fixed expression, "Renn Fair starts back up soon. Want to hang out with me there the first night?" "Dude, yes. Definitely. Can you send me a text to remind me a few days before?" "Sure thing. Goodnight!" He drove sway suddenly as I waved, like he was late for an appointment. I nodded and closed the door, headed back into the house and flopped onto the bed. The room was no longer spinning. I checked my phone and had a text from Vaughn saying that he and Hannah had a fight and she was heading back to Baltimore in the morning. I replied, "What a coincidence... I drank too much and was going to call out sick tomorrow..." He replied, "Request approved." ~ Per his request, I wore the short and tight floral print halter-top dress and heels to Vaughn's the next day. I pulled up right behind him on the curb. He'd picked me up in his Wrangler to take me to my car, we didn't talk during the drive, but he'd felt up my thigh as if he owned it. When we walked into his house, Vaughn got a "what's up?" from Lee, while I got a curt nod. Vaughn was on me in a flash as soon as we entered his room and shut the door, kissing me and squeezing my ass. He usually played it a little cooler than this, but I must've been driving him nuts in this dress. "Did you miss me, baby?" Vaughn said, kissing my neck and playing with my ass. "I missed your cock," I smirked. He raised his head back up and kissed me deeply, meeting my tongue with his. He pulled away and sat on the bed, taking off his shirt. I got down on my knees beside the bed and pulled off his jeans and briefs, releasing his half-hard cock. I smiled and moaned, then took his cock into my mouth, and started gently sucking on his balls while stroking him. I loved putting his balls in my mouth, the look on his face. He probably got off on seeing me do it, like he controlled me, but the feeling of it gave me so much pleasure. He knew I had a "mouth thing" as he called it, but I didn't think he fully understood how stimulated I got from giving him oral or kissing him. It made me incredibly wet to bob my head up and down on his dick. I knew his cock well enough to know it was as hard as it was going to get, so I stood up and pulled down my panties, leaving my dress on. He pulled me forward and I straddled him widely as Vaughn helped the short dress ride up my waist. I ran my fingers through his hair as I moved my hips to grind my wet pussy on his shaft. "You make me so wet, Vaughn," I said, loving the feel of his cock on my pussy lips. I felt his big hands spreading my ass as he slowly inserted his cock into me. "Damn, your pussy feels good, baby," Vaughn said, biting his bottom lip. I sank lower onto his cock and moaned loudly. I'd stopped caring if his roommate heard me weeks ago. I worked his cock in and out of me as I rode him, whimpering and moaning, eventually sliding it all the way in. Riding him in his lap like this was like a near-constant orgasm for me. Vaughn tugged the top of my dress to the side and released both of my warm breasts, which always seemed slightly more plump when I was really turned on. He sucked my nipples and kissed me while I rode him and occasionally quivered with an orgasm. It was so easy to have them when I was on top. "Oh fuck, baby," I said. I forgot when I'd started calling him that, but it was usually only when he gave me an orgasm. "Your dick feels so good inside me." "You love cumming on my hard dick, don't you baby?" he growled and thrusted upwards into me, then spanked me, which made my body vibrate on his cock. He spanked me again and I nearly screamed in pleasure. "Ohh yes, fuck!" I squealed, matching his rhythm and bouncing my ass on his cock as he thrust up. He gave me a few more spanks and then pulled my dress over my head and threw it on the floor. Then held me close and kissed me while grabbing my ass and sliding me up and down his cock. I lost track of time, until we wore ourselves out and he pulled me down onto the bed with him, holding me close. "Holy shit, that was good," I said, panting. Vaughn was good but it was like he'd leveled up. "Did you cum?" "I came twice," he said with a chuckle, putting his finger in my mouth so I could roll my eyes back in my head and suck on it. "I remember shit, you know. The shit you like." I looked up at him and nodded. He knew I loved sucking his cock. He knew I loved riding his dick. He knew I loved a little spank sometimes. He knew I loved cuddling afterwards and sucking his fingers. "You do know what I like," I said between sucking different fingers. "You know what I like?" "Squeezing my tits?" I said as he did just that, spooning me. "Yeah, but you know I really want to fuck you in the ass," he smirked. "Not happening," I chuckled. "Does your girlfriend let you do that?" "Oh yeah, she loves it." He grinned and I felt him getting a little hard again, and he pressed his cock between my ass cheeks. I turned my head and looked at him saying, "Vaughn..." "All right, all right," he said, but left his cock there. "You looked so hot at that party last night. I nearly grabbed you and took you home right there," he growled into my ear. I turned my head and kissed him with zero interest in having a conversation about the party. He got hard again and we fucked slow and deep in the spooning position while he squeezed my tits with one hand and put fingers from the other in my mouth for me to suck on. I was going to get him to fuck me like that again in the morning. His cock was always bigger in the mornings, which I loved. After he fell asleep I realized I was parched. "Ugh, you always forget to put a water bottle beside the bed," I thought, pulling myself out from under his muscular arms and putting on the threadbare blue t-shirt he'd been wearing before we had sex. It actually covered slightly less of my legs than the dress I'd worn here had. I quietly walked out of his bedroom and closed the door behind me, then made my way to the kitchen. "Hey," Lee said. He was eating cereal in the kitchen shirtless and only wearing boxers when I walked in. "Hey," I said back to him, looking for a clean glass in the cupboard, hoping that reaching up didn't expose too much of my ass. Lee and Vaughn lived in filth and never did dishes. I didn't say anything because I had no interest in doing them either and I felt like complaining might get me drafted. Lee chuckled about something and took a bite of cereal, then said, "You know, I get it Charles. Vaughn doesn't see it, but I do." I grabbed a glass and started washing it out. I hadn't been called Charles in months. "Dude, you can't troll me by calling me Charles. My new name's more for other people than me, you know." I looked back at him. I knew the threadbare shirt I was wearing made for some fine viewing for his asshole. "Well, whatever," he said, chomping on more cereal. "You know his whole open thing with Hannah was just for side flings and shit," he said. "Not like, staying over all the time, kicking his real girlfriend out of the picture, that shit." I sighed. "That's none of my business," I said. "Oh it definitely is. She's not here right now because of you. I mean, Vaughn practically told her to leave because he wanted to fuck someone else. I think it was some shit like 'need some alone time' but Hannah didn't believe it. I heard her yelling at him about it when she stormed out." I dried the glass and put some ice in it. I didn't like Hannah and couldn't care less about her relationship with Vaughn. I poured water in the glass and drank, quenching my thirst. Lee was eating cereal and waiting for me to react to his awkward late-night confrontation. He still couldn't keep his eyes off my body. I knew the outline of my breasts and nipples were easily seen through this shirt. "Sounds like they've got some stuff to work out. If Vaughn wants to see me less, he can tell me." Lee shook his head and said, "Dude, are you serious? I hear you guys fucking all the time. Those girly squeals and moans of yours are just... I mean, and you're fine as fuck, you know you are. Like, no guy could give up a piece of ass like yours. Vaughn is a fucking player and even he... I mean you know what I mean." I sipped water and smirked. "Are you jealous, Lee?" I smacked my lips and walked towards him, "You've got really big muscles," I said, touching his bodybuilder pecs. He took a deep breath and said, "You're such a bitch." "I like your shaved chest." I drank the rest of my water and let my hand linger on his pecs. I had to admit, I did like the muscles. His body was so tense, I was making him extremely uncomfortable. "I have a girlfriend..." he said, holding the cereal. I chuckled and pulled away, "I'm not ever going to fuck you, dude. You know you've been a huge prick to me for months and months, boy, girl, you fucking suck, man." I walked out of the kitchen, but before I left I tilted my head back and whispered, "And I know you have a small dick." He turned red in the face and I walked down the hallway and into Vaughn's room, taking off his shirt and curling up with him. He barely stirred as I got back in bed. I looked at all the stuff in his room. Movies, music, art, books... we had nothing in common except sex. "If he's falling for me, he's in for a big disappointment," I thought with a frown. ~ People walking by us gawked a little at me and my dad as we ate slices of pizza in the large Star Trek convention area. My dad and I had spent two months on these costumes, and they were pretty fantastic. He was Neelix, the irritating goofball from Voyager and I was Jadzia Dax from Deep Space 9. Today was my "choice" for costumes. We always went with one day where we wore a costume that we liked while we chose something outrageous for the other person. My dad's only rule was that he wanted a ton of makeup and prosthetics on, so that he would be less likely to be recognized. I usually didn't have a rule, but this year I told my dad that I wanted only female characters for myself. I had on extremely high-heeled boots for this costume since the actress was so tall, and also a brunette wig. The joined trill neck markings were just a simple temporary tattoo and I'd adjusted the DS9 jumpsuit to be a perfect fit. "You should have chosen Worf for me today, if you're Jadzia. I loved their whole thing on DS9," my dad said. He was excitedly eating pizza and looking around at the other costumes. "Gross, dad. Worf and Jadzia were a couple, you know," I frowned. My dad could be a little obtuse sometimes. I didn't mention that Jadzia and Worf liked rough sex. "Pfft, and? Don't be such a stick in the mud," he chuckled. "Jester Chronicles TV show? Oh shit!" I heard someone say loudly at a table nearby. I looked at my dad and wiggled my eyebrows. "Big news, dad. Apparently the Jester Chronicles author sold out to Big Corporate." I smiled. My dad grunted and shook his head. "You didn't used to bully your old man like this. You're so much more evil now," my dad squinted at me. I chuckled and said, "I am more evil now, but I also definitely bullied you just as much." He laughed. "You may be right." He paused and said, "You know, I may need your help soon with this whole book and tv thing. I'll keep you posted." I arched my eyebrow and said, "Oh?" I'd read drafts and helped my dad with his books since I was in my early teens, but he'd never involved me in his work beyond that. "Anything serious?" He frowned and said, "I'm working on something, but I don't have enough details to share, really. I just might need some help." I nodded. "Sure, just let me know what you need." I crossed my arms and looked at him wondering what it could be. My first thought was that it was probably going to be making sure his agent was following the letter of their agreement. He'd changed agents about a dozen times over the years and never trusted them. I got roped into a few "Hey Charles, look through all of these emails and tell me what they mean" situations. I felt a sting in my abdomen. I was on my period, my first experience with it. Thanks to the birth control pills, I'd known it was coming, but still. It hurt like hell. I excused myself and went to the women's bathroom, found an empty stall and took off my DS9 jumpsuit, then my panties. I took hold of the tampon string dangling between my legs and pulled it out, flushing it and replacing it with a fresh one. I'd gotten really horny right before my period and I'd begged Vaughn to cum inside me, which wasn't even a thing I knew I liked. I sat down on the toilet and peed and thought about getting pregnant. It made the back of my neck numb. Thinking about getting pregnant almost felt like a drug. I wondered to myself if all women felt this way, then flushed and put my costume back on. As I was washing up a Cardassian asked me for a tampon and I obliged. We shared a discrete smile and then I left the bathroom and walked back towards my dad, surveying all of the other costumes there. It felt kind of good being a few inches closer to my old height with these high- heeled boots on. I sat down by my dad and crossed my legs, sipping my water bottle. My dad looked at me and sharply exhaled, then said, "You know, you seem more confident nowadays. You walk with your head held high. I always worried a little that you didn't feel comfortable in your own skin." My dad seemed thoughtful, but the Neelix costume made me want to cringe. "Thanks, yeah. I don't even really remember what I used to feel like in my old skin. New skin is pretty great though." I paused and said, "I know I'm happier. As a woman, I mean." "I'm glad." My dad half-smiled then paused and said, "I respect your privacy, but I am curious if you're seeing anyone. You're out late a lot. If you want to bring anyone by, man or woman or non-binary, I'm okay with it." He smiled. I smiled back and said, "Nobody I want to bring around the house," then looked away. I didn't even like the one or two times Vaughn had picked me up at my house. "But yeah, fair warning, if I ever do bring someone around it'll definitely be a guy." "Really?" my dad asked, with a coy smile. "I'm glad. I was worried I'd never be a grandpa for a while there." I shook my head at him. "We're a long way from that, dad." "But you're not ruling it out?" "No," was all I said in response. I never thought Allie would make a great mother, but I always suspected I would be a pretty good dad. "I have no idea how to be a good wife," I thought, shaking my head. Homemaking is about organization and planning. I'm not all that organized and I'm terrible at planning, well except for finances. Being a good husband seemed easy: do your share of the house work, be a provider, be stable, that kind of thing. I thought about Vaughn. He'd be the shittiest husband on the planet. What if he was getting more serious about me? It kind of made my heart flutter a little thinking he was in love with me, but the idea of living with him seemed horrific. The idea of having a baby with him was a sick fucking joke. What about from his perspective? He'd definitely get off on knocking me up, I knew that for sure. "Ugh," I thought. "You look like you just swallowed a bug?" "Oh, just thinking about... something. Being attracted to men is a fucking curse." "Oh, that's good. Can I use that?" my dad said, scrawling a note into his phone as I sighed. ~ I looked up at the two dudes at the door counting dollar bills to pay for the six pizzas I was holding in my arms and sighed. It was after sundown and loud music and laughter were pouring out of the small two- story brick house. "Can one of you hold these? My arms are getting tired," I asked. This was a lie, my arms were tired just from walking the things up to the door. "I should have made this two trips," I thought. One of the dudes smirked at me and took the pizzas from me, while the other guy kept counting, finally putting the wad in my hand. "Want to count it?" the blond guy asked. "No, I'm good. Have a nice ni-" "Hey, when do you get off work?" Blond boy asked me. "We're having a party here later, you should drop by. Be my guest." He smiled at me. He was good-looking in a rich kid sorta way, with a blue collared shirt and some brown shorts. I thought about saying, "No," but instead said, "Umm." I kinda felt like being flirty and sexy tonight, and I'd never been invited to a dude- party as a girl. "I'll think about it," I said and headed back to my car. "Yeah?" the blonde boy called after me. "My name's George!" I got in the car and he waved at me. I drove back to work listening to Yo-Yo Ma playing Bach on cello, thinking about how easy it was as a woman to get attention. When I pulled back up to Pizza Friends, Lee was taking the sign off of his car. I parked and got out, saying, "Lee, what the fuck? You're closing tonight, right?" He said, "Nah, Vaughn cut me, said you'd close. Later." He got in his car while I groaned and walked in. "Hey, Beth. I need you to close," Vaughn called to me from the manager's office. I gave him a thumbs up, then turned around and rolled my eyes. I'd spent a lot of time with Vaughn over the last week. He even took me out to a bar to celebrate my 21st birthday a couple of nights ago. As I was folding pizza boxes, Madison came up to me and whispered, "Hey, what's up?" "Not much, why are you whispering?" I asked, she had a smirk on her face. "Oh my god, I overheard Lee saying something about you and Vaughn?" I grimaced and shrugged. I figured it would get out eventually. I was surprised Lee kept the secret this long. Madison gave me a wide-eyed look and said, "what about his girlfriend?" I just shook my head and said, "They have an open relationship. You know he says that all the time," as she nodded along. Despite her only being 17, she was actually about a couple of inches taller than me. "I'm just like a side thing, here and there. No biggie." She looked at me with a furrowed brow and said, "Okay, girl. Is he good in bed? He's got this intense thing going on." "Oh yeah." I smiled. I hadn't had a chance to talk to anybody about sex with Vaughn other than Dr. Bowman. It was just me and Madison in the shop, so I whispered some more. "He's, you know, like, got a really nice co-" "Hey, Madison!" Vaughn called from the office. "You can go home." I crossed my arms and Madison frowned, then she said, "Can you call me and finish the story?" I nodded and we exchanged numbers. It felt a little weird that she was still in high school, but then I remembered that we were both girls. I was like a big sister or something. I was still bi though. "Technically bi," I smirked to myself, walking towards the manager's office as Madison exited. I took off my cap and looked at Vaughn. He patted his lap in his office chair and I sat on it, then kissed him. "Just you and me, baby," he said, giving me a squeeze. "I really want to fuck you." I smiled. We hadn't fucked in a few days because of my period. I felt his cock get hard in his pants. He started rubbing me between my legs as I squirmed in his lap. He stood me up then unbuttoned my pants and tugged them down. Then he got his hard cock out and picked me up, shoving my back against the wall and holding me up my legs. "Unnnh!" I squealed, as he thrust deeply into my tight and wet pussy. I moaned his name as he fucked me hard and deep. "Ohh fuck it's so good!" I moaned in his mouth as he kissed me. "Goddamn, baby." He was looking intensely into my eyes. He held me close, thrusting his cock deep inside me and said, "I love you so much, baby." A flash of panic entered my brain then went away. "Oh, fuck. I love you too, baby," I whimpered as he held me in the air and impaled me on his dick. He put my head on his shoulder and grabbed my ass, pounding me hard. I squealed and moaned as he came in me. After he slowly rocked my hips back and forth on his softening dick, he finally put me down. He held me in the air the entire time we had sex. I pulled up my panties and pants, then sat down on his lap to kiss him. He looked at me and said, "I'm going to break up with Hannah tonight." "Oh wow, that's huge," I said. I knew why but didn't want to let him know I knew why. I couldn't make eye contact with him. I got up and said, "I have to use the bathroom," then went to pee. Vaughn's body was tense and I could tell he was nervous. I sighed on the toilet and thought, "I have to tell him that I don't love him." That had been a mistake. I cleaned myself up and walked back into the manager's office. "Hey," I said, keeping my distance. Vaughn looked up at me and said, "You kinda went a little cold there." "Yeah, it's just..." Vaughn groaned and said, "You didn't mean it, right." "Right. I'm sorry." Vaughn chuckled under his breath and said, "No, I've literally done the same thing before to women. I get it. I think that... maybe you and I should stop seeing each other." I nodded. He was right. I couldn't give him what he needed. "Will you still break up with Hannah?" "I don't know. Probably not. I really do love you, you know." I wanted to argue with him because I didn't think this was really love, but I also wanted to sit in his lap and kiss him because it turned me on to hear him be vulnerable. "Didn't you say you were going to start working with your dad soon?" he asked. "Yeah, I think so. Why?" "Well, it's just going to be hard for me to not want to grab you at work." I smiled and thought about arguing, but realized that I would definitely still have sex with him if he wanted. "Yeah, I see your point. Why don't I take a hiatus and see what this work with my dad is about, maybe come back if it doesn't work out. Give you some time to yourself?" He'd hired someone recently so I knew Pizza Friends was a little overstaffed and I had tons of money saved up. I could use a vacation. He nodded and rubbed his eyes, "That sounds good. Y'know I've been rejected plenty of times in my life, but this one I saw coming a mile away and still did it." He smirked and shook his head, sighing in a way that made it seem like he was disappointed in himself. "We were really intimate and open with me. You were always really good to me." I smiled at him. "Goddammit, Morris. You are so fucking hot. Look, why don't you get out of here? I'll close early and sweep and mop. You weren't supposed to close anyway. Just cash out and go home." He sounded like he was going through something, but there wasn't any animosity in his voice. I nodded and did what he said, then he gave me one last hug and kiss before I walked out, got in my car and drove home. I sat in my driveway and felt restless. I wanted to be touched and held. I really wanted someone to kiss. I didn't want to just go to bed and be done with the night. I went inside, put on a short pink skirt, a white tank top, and some short heels, then got in my car and drove to the house party I'd been invited to. It didn't take me long to find George, and it didn't take long for George to pull me away somewhere private so we could make out. George wasn't as smooth, tall, or as sexy as Vaughn was, but the feeling of making out with someone new was exciting. If I hadn't already had sex with Vaughn earlier, I might have slept with him. Instead, I went home before he could do anything more than get his hand between my legs, but we exchanged numbers. When George walked me out to my car, I spotted a jacked guy checking me out who had a sleeve tattoo on his arm and bit my lip. "I could get in serious trouble hanging out at these college parties," I thought. On the drive home I slapped my steering wheel and yelled, "it's so fucking EASY!" to myself in the car. I felt like the biggest player in the world. Vaughn or no, I was going to get some action, dammit. ~ Vaughn slapped my ass hard as he pounded me from behind on his bed in the doggy style position. I arched my back as he slapped my ass a couple more times, making my body quiver. I moaned loudly, then he returned to holding my hips and fucking me relentlessly, the bedpost clanging violently against the wall. "That feels so fucking good," I squealed as my ass clapped against him. He pushed my head down into the pillow and fucked me even harder. I gasped and squealed his name with a shuddering tremolo, "Unnnnh Vauuuuggghnn!" I felt him tense up and start pulsing inside me. He let me bounce my ass back against him while he came, and then we collapsed onto the bed together. His dick was still inside me when he turned my head around to kiss me. My pussy was filled with juices. Vaughn started squeezing my tits and I moaned. We'd gone two full days without contacting one another for sex, and then on the third day Vaughn texted me, "want to come by?" Here I was. I looked at him and chuckled. "What's so funny?" he asked. "Oh, just this whole thing. Right." He sighed. I closed my eyes and turned around, draping my smooth leg over him and nuzzling my face in his neck. He pulled me close and said, "I really fucking shouldn't have texted you." "Mmm, yeah. Probably not." He leaned his head down and kissed me then squeezed my butt. "I really wanted to fuck you today, though." "God, you fucked me so hard. Fuck. I needed it." This was mostly true. I hadn't gotten a text from George since the party and hadn't felt like trying to nail down anyone else. George must be playing some game, waiting a certain amount of time to text. His mistake. "He could be fucking me right now instead of Vaughn," I thought. Vaughn patted my ass and I thought about how I was definitely not going to ruin this moment by talking about "us." "Hey, uh... do you want to go to this upcoming classical music thing?" I turned my body towards him and said, "you want to go to the Annapolis Symphony Orchestra...?" "Yeah. Definitely," he said, looking at me confidently. I squinted and said, "You've told me a dozen times you hate the music I listen to." "Yeah, but, you know, I uh..." as he stammered I saw the time on his alarm clock. "Oh shit, I have to go," I said getting up. "I have an appointment with my therapist." I put on my bra and panties, then my breezy royal blue short summer dress, cinching it at the waist. I sat down on the bed to put on my low heels while Vaughn ran his hand up and down my hips over my dress. "You should block me on your phone, Morris," he said distractedly. I turned around and frowned at him. "Hmm. I'll think about it." I stood up and checked my phone, noting my reminder for my appointment had popped up for my meeting with Dr. Bowman. "Bye, Vaughn," I said leaning down to kiss him. "Bye," he said, squeezing my thigh between my skirt. I walked out of his room and closed the bedroom door, then headed towards the front door. Lee was watching some sports on the TV. I flipped him off and said, "Hey asshole, thanks for telling everyone at work about my business." He gave me the finger back and I shook my head, then opened the front door. As I shut it behind me, I saw Vaughn's girlfriend's car pulling up. "Oh fuck," I thought and started walking faster towards my car, unlocking it with my keyfob. All she was able to do was yell, "Hey!" at me before I shut my car door and drove away, but I knew what she meant by that "Hey!" It was the angry "Hey!" of a woman who'd just seen who her boyfriend has been sleeping with. "Ugh," I thought, my stomach feeling queasy. That "Hey!" rang loudly in my head as I drove home, said hello to my dad, and made my way to the study where Dr. Bowman was waiting for me to have our session. I sighed and cringed sitting in my chair hearing that "Hey!" in my mind again. "What's wrong, Beth?" Dr. Bowman asked, noticing that something was weighing on me. I frowned and said, "I think I fucked up." I started to speak and then didn't say anything. I didn't like talking to Dr. Bowman about sex because I got the feeling she was fairly prudish about it. Dr. Bowman waited and then said, "At our last meeting a couple of weeks ago, you said you'd be interested in reaching out to your wife and seeing how she's doing. Did you do that and maybe it brought up some old feelings?" I frowned and said, "No, I didn't reach out to Allie." I'd forgotten I even mentioned that. I was curious about my ex-wife. She hadn't communicated with me since our annulment went through and she hadn't put a single update in her Facebook except to change our relationship status. I was a little concerned. "Hey!" I heard Hannah yell at me again in my mind. My phone vibrated and I saw a message from George asking me if I wanted to grab a drink with him later. I replied, "How about tomorrow?" and apologized to Dr. Bowman for texting during our session. "I think I need relationship advice," I said. "I think I screwed up really bad and got someone into trouble." "How so?" "Um, with his girlfriend. Open relationship thing, but I think some lines were definitely crossed..." "Oh, I see," Dr. Bowman said, forcing a smile. "And you are feeling some guilt, I take it?" I nodded and said, "Yeah." "Sometimes guilt is about shame, sometimes regret, sometimes both. Where do you think yours is coming from?" I thought for a second and said, "Maybe a tiny amount of regret and a lot of shame." "Hey!" I heard Hannah scream in my mind. It seemed to be getting louder. "One second," I told Dr. Bowman. I got out my phone, found Vaughn's number and texted him "blocking you like you said," then clicked "block" on him. I gulped and felt tears welling up. "What the fuck," I said out loud. I started whimpering, shaking, and crying, a little at first and then gradually increasing in intensity. "I just blocked some asshole on my phone, why am I fucking crying?" Allie came into my mind. Memories of seeing her face after we'd been apart for a long time. All of our plans we'd made together, a life. My body shuddered and I started bawling. "What is this shit?" I said, bawling my eyes out. I wiped my tears on the sleeve of my dress. "What the fuck!" I yelled, I couldn't stop the tears streaming down my face. Allie and Vaughn, I thought about them smiling at me, touching me, loving me. I wanted to throw up. I couldn't even see Dr. Bowman's face through my blurred vision. "They're both gone. They loved me and I threw both of them away!" My jaw shuddered and I said, "Why am I such a piece of shit!?" The details and circumstances didn't matter. I cried non-stop over Allie and Vaughn for another hour and cried harder any time Dr. Bowman spoke to try and pull me out of it. ~ I came inside the house at around 9:00 am and saw my dad at the kitchen table. I was still wearing the sexy red mini-dress I'd worn last night when I'd gone to George's place. "Hey dad," I said, walking into the kitchen and putting my purse on the counter. The sex had not been great. George couldn't stay hard with a condom on and I hated the feeling of sex with a condom on anyway, so it was awkward. I'd sucked a lot of dick last night, though. I poured myself a cup of coffee and sat down near my dad. My dad smiled at me and tussled my hair. "I think I'm finally used to 'Beth,'" he said with a chuckle. "I caught myself just now thinking, 'I hope Beth is doing okay.'" I chuckled and said, "I'm still not used to it, to be honest. Maybe I'll write it in lipstick on my bathroom mirror or something." "That's a little creepy!" my dad said with a snort. "Hah, yeah." I sipped some coffee and thought about changing into something more comfortable. I'd spent all day yesterday in pajamas until I met George. That session with Dr. Bowman had taken a lot out of me the other day. She said I had a "breakthrough." I definitely felt a little different about things, but I hadn't been able to figure out why. I felt incredibly silly after the long cry though. Allie had been cheating on me for months and I was crying over her? Vaughn had been a huge asshole to me before I was a girl and then just wanted my body afterwards. Neither of them were worth me crying so much that I embarrassed my therapist. I'd started talking about wanting to suck Vaughn's cock again while I'd been ugly-crying and I'd felt heard all the air go out of her lungs. I chuckled. "What's so funny?" I shook my head but before I could say anything my dad interrupted with, "Oh! I meant to talk to you about this last night. I got more details on that stuff I wanted you to help me with." I nodded at him as my phone vibrated. It was a text from George telling me he had a good time last night and "sorry about the thing," which I assumed was him being sorry about not being able to stay hard wearing a condom. "One second, dad," I said replying to George. Then, before I hit send, another message came through from Madison saying, "Vaughn got engaged to his girlfriend, are you still seeing him?" "Jesus fucking christ," I said. I sent George my non-committal message saying, "Had a good time l8r," then replied to Madison saying, "Hey! Glad to hear from you! No, no, things are over with Vaughn. I'm glad he's doing his thing. How are you?" I felt a strange sense of relief knowing Vaughn was getting engaged. I put my phone down and looked at my dad, then my phone vibrated again. I groaned and looked at it. This time it was Jonathan saying, "Hey, we're still on for the Renn Fair Saturday, right? When should I pick you up, save on parking if we go together." "Oh shit, that's right," I said out loud, remembering that I'd agreed to go to Renn Fair with Jonathan a few weeks ago after I'd gotten drunk and he'd given me a ride home. That felt like a million years ago. My dad smiled and said, "You're very popular today." "Yeah, uh, dad, remember how I told you I wanted something more girly for when the Renn Fair started up again? Did you happen to make something for me? I totally forgot about it." "Are you kidding? I pulled out one of your mom's old outfits and just tightened it up a bit. I can't wait to see you in it," he smiled warmly and had a twinkle in his eye. I smirked. "Okay, thank you." I texted Jonathan back saying, "Yep, I'm all set. How about 6:30 Saturday?" Then he immediately sent back a thumbs up. "I promised a friend of mine I'd go with him on the first night back." I put my phone on silent and placed it face down on the counter. "No more interruptions. What were you saying about that job?" My dad furrowed his brow and said, "Wait, someone asked you out on a date to the Renn Fair?" He scoffed. "I didn't know you had any nerdy friends. I'm already extremely jealous." "It's not a date. It's that guy you met at the last Renn Fair, big tall guy with a bowl haircut, kinda goofy. He was part of the Henry VIII show." "Ohh, yes. Now I remember. Kind of a burly fellow. He reminded me of Stephen Fry a little bit." "I have no idea who that is." My dad chuckled, then said, "Are you sure this isn't a date?" "Yeah. I'm pretty sure." I exhaled air and then thought, "Actually, Jonathan might have a thing for me." He behaved very gentlemanly around me and Jonathan struck me as the kind of guy who would definitely act that way around a girl he liked. I'd never caught him checking me out that I could recall, but actually that also sounded like a gentlemanly thing. I'd caught literally every single other guy I work with checking me out at one point or another. "Hmm," I said. "He might think it's a date." "So it's a date," my dad smiled. "He's not my type," I said, thinking about Vaughn and George and that one guy I wish I'd dropped George for on the night of the party who was giving me the eye. I also thought about this married guy who owned a coffee shop downtown who always flirted with me. And a couple of guys I'd seen looking through records at a local music shop. They all had this air of "I don't give a fuck" about them which made me want them. On the other hand, Jonathan was the most caring and thoughtful person I'd known in my life. He was more like a big puppy dog or a kindly bear. "But oh wow, I owe him so much. He's bailed me out of a hundred things," I thought. I would still go Saturday, no matter what. "Well," my dad said, "you should give him a chance." I nodded. "Yeah, you know, that's good advice. I will," I lied. I'd already written him off and just wanted to move on and talk about the job. My dad had a thoughtful look in his eye, so I settled in for a story. I loved my dad but he sometimes enjoyed the sound of his own voice to an extreme degree. "When your mother and I started dating, I always felt a little jealous of her previous boyfriend. He was in a band. They had a single on the radio and everything. He was, you know, really cool. Your mother caught onto this little hangup of mine and gave me hell for it. She didn't want me feeling second best to anyone. But all of her previous boyfriends had been in bands, too. Before me. She told me, 'my heart is loyal, but my tastes often wander.' I accepted that." I thought about Jonathan and sort of cringed at the idea of kissing him, but I'd always wanted to hang out with him more, even when I was a guy. Also, I'd hated Vaughn's guts until right when he kissed me on his sofa. "Yeah, I'll keep an open mind," I said, genuinely this time. "But seriously, dad, what is up with this job thing." "Oh right! Well, I'm going to be an Executive Producer on the show and I want you to be a Producer. It would mean a lot to me, Beth." I stared at him in shock. ~ "Wow. That's huge, dude," Jonathan said, cramming meat from a turkey leg into his mouth. "Producer!" I nibbled at mine. My costume was so tight I didn't want to chance popping threads by eating too much. The navy blue corset had tiny white stars sewn into it, and then it matched my long flowing skirt which was a creamy light-gray with various shades of large blue stars sewn into it. Under that I was wearing a fitted silk gown and some comfy gray slippers. My cleavage was impressive and unavoidably within view, and I'd already caught my date looking twice. "Poor bastard," I thought. I always loved Renn Fair boobs, and now that I had my own Renn Fair boobs I was mad with power. "Yeah, it's pretty crazy. I'm supposed to fly to LA in a couple of days and meet with people and sign stuff. The actual work won't start until sometime next year, but I've got a lot of preparation to do with my dad. He's never actually put together a story bible for his work, so we're going to have to create something." "Wow," he said looking at me and eating a turkey leg. We started walking together around the Fair. Jonathan was wearing a different outfit than from before. This one had a studded leather armor look to it, with lots of rivets. I'd held back on making a ton of suggestions on things he could do to make it look and fit better, but it was more flattering than the previous costume at least. "Yeah, I'm pretty excited. I never thought I'd be involved in his work like this. Like, creatively. I'm going to be in the writer's room every day. I'm supposed to be dad's 'voice and eyes and ears' is how he put it." "That's really fucking cool," he said. "Yeah, I mean, I've helped my dad edit some of his books. I know the Jester world like the back of my hand." "My favorite is Viva La Douriphelle, I think. I change all the time though," he said, and I remembered that he was a huge fan of my Dad's. He showed remarkable restraint in talking about my dad's work considering I was his favorite author's daughter. "Oh yeah, my dad did a ton of research about revolutions for that one. I was... how old was I?" I was asking myself, but couldn't remember exactly when the book came out. "Probably twelve," Jonathan said. I nodded. It seemed right and I smiled at how well he knew my dad's work and my own age to do a quick calculation like that. "Hey, how old are you anyway, Jonathan?" He looked like he was at least in his early thirties. "Twenty-six," he said. I felt incredulous. He looked older. There was a pause in the conversation and we just smiled at each other and walked a little bit. We'd caught up on the drive here, and he'd filled me in on all the latest Pizza Friends gossip. Lee was going to be Assistant Manager, a position that Vaughn hadn't filled since the last Assistant Manager left six months ago. Madison was jealous that Jonathan was getting to hang out with me. Apparently Hannah was showing up almost every day Vaughn was working now. I decided to break the silence and say, "Thanks for inviting me out." "Oh, yeah. Well, you know, I always thought you were cool. I wish we'd hung out when you were a guy. Maybe then I wouldn't have been so nervous asking you about tonight." I grinned. So he did think it was a date. "Oh, it probably would have still been hard for ya," I thought. It suddenly occurred to me that I think I actually encouraged him to ask me, or just "women," out when he took me home that night. I vaguely recalled it. "I'm glad you did," was all I said looking up at him. He was about a foot taller. I felt smaller beside him now compared to at work for some reason unknown to me. "How tall are you, by the way?" "Six-foot three-inches. Well, three and a half." "Wow. Us Switchgirls are short, you know. I think the tallest one on record is five ten." "My ex was taller than me," he said with a smile. "Get outta here, what?" I said, chuckling. He nodded. "Yeah, she's a little over 6' 4". She plays pro-basketball." "Amazing," I said, trying to imagine a woman taller than him. "Mind if I look her up?" "Nah. Andrea Micheals. She plays for the Las Vegas Aces." I googled her. She had long curly black hair and had done a cover for a sports magazine where she was laughing and wearing a white halter dress. "She's beautiful," I said, acknowledging the truth. "Yeah, we were engaged." I grimaced, "Oh wow." "Heh. Hmm, yeah. She ended things. She wanted a fresh start once she got in the WNBA. Honestly, I think I saw it coming and that was why I asked her to marry me. Pretty pathetic, huh?" He half-smiled and looked at me. "Nah. We don't know why we do things sometimes while we're doing them," I said, thinking about Vaughn. "Did I tell you that I found out my wife was cheating on me and that's why we divorced?" "Holy cow, no." "Yeah, and then after I think I tried filling the void, but didn't know that's what I was doing. I think I just didn't want to be alone. Ugh." I groaned and we stopped in the market area. I was surveying it to see if there was anything I wanted to buy. "Are you talking about Vaughn?" he asked, clearly nervous about the question. I chuckled and said, "Did Lee tell you about that?" "Yeah. He was trying to piss me off. Fuck that guy." Jonathan crossed his arms and had a slightly steely glare. I smirked. So Lee had figured out that Jonathan was into me and was fucking with him. Lee looked like the douchiest guy on the planet but he'd had a few of us figured out pretty well. "Yeah, Vaughn and I had a thing for a while." Jonathan nodded and said, "I can see it. You are this amazingly cool and beautiful girl and he's got his thing, he's good with women. I'm terrible. Just so bad, really." I smiled up at him. "You think I'm beautiful?" He nodded and grinned, then gulped a little. I smirked at his shy demeanor. He had a nice smile, with clean white teeth and dimples. "Huh," I thought, admiring his height and his, let's face it, "cute" smile. The haircut was still distracting me, though. I walked up to the nearest merchant stand and asked if my friend could try on one of their hats, then I picked up a brown one and said, "try this on." He put it on and said, "What do you think?" "Oh yeah," I said grinning. He looked a lot better. His head didn't have that same gigantic goofy thing going on. "I'm going to buy you that hat, you look kinda hot in it." I walked over to the merchant and paid him almost all the cash I'd brought with me. Jonathan smiled and snorted, then said, "I'm never taking off this hat again." I felt a little tug at my heart. He wasn't cut like Vaughn or George, in fact, he had a slightly protruding belly, but it wasn't gross. He was tall, had a nice smile, and looked good when I didn't have to see his hair. I snapped my head around to look at his teeth again. Pearly white, probably recently cleaned. We strolled around the Renn Fair telling each other Renn Fair stories, mine of the years of coming to this one, his of the places he lived before moving to Annapolis. Towards the end of the night, we found ourselves listening to some very good music, a woman playing the harp. She was playing Art of the Fugue, which I pointed out to my date and he nodded along, asking me about Bach. He was easy to talk to. As we listened to the music standing next to one another, I thought, "Well, he did ask me out. Maybe I owe him a sign that I'm glad he did." He had his hand in his pocket, so I tugged at his sleeve, then when he pulled it out I put my hand in his. His monstrously large hand engulfed mine and I felt a warm and fuzzy tingle. "Yep," I thought, sensing that I'd turned a corner and no longer just saw him as an unsexy doofus. We held hands for the rest of the evening and made plans to hang out in a few days when I got back from LA. When he dropped me off at my house, I wanted him to kiss me but he didn't. He was going to have to take that step. "Good luck, dude," I thought, remembering being out with women I felt intimidated by. He was probably talking himself out of thinking I liked him right now. "I'll help him out with that," I thought. When I got inside I sent him a text saying, "I had a really good time with you tonight and I can't wait to hang out with you again." Then we texted back and forth some afterwards, and he let me know about all of the parts of the night that he'd been nervous about. It made me smile. For some reason saying sweet and affectionate things to Jonathan felt "gay" to me, which made me laugh when I thought about it. I've been having sex with a man for months and only now felt "gay." A different feeling for sure. The next morning I gave my dad a hug and thanked him for the advice about the date. This was uncharted territory for me, but it felt good. Really good. ~ I had a layover in Atlanta on the way back to Baltimore and I was texting Jonathan waiting near the terminal for my connecting flight. "Yeah, they want me to be in the writer's room helping with the larger creative direction of the show and they want me to help make sure the tone and characters match the book. The people there were really nice. The money is going to be crazy good." Jonathan replied, "That's so cool. So I'm really looking forward to a professional TV writer showing me her favorite Deep Space Nine episodes tomorrow night." The more we'd messaged, he'd gotten confident enough to flirt with me a little with some gentle teasing.. I replied while smiling, "Yeah, dude. I have a whole list." I heard a voice over an intercom announce that my flight had been delayed by an hour. I sighed and looked around at all the other passengers, equally annoyed. "Oh wait," I said, spotting a very familiar face walking towards me in a flight attendant uniform. "Allie?" I said, looking up at my ex-wife. "Oh my god, oh fuck!" she said, she turned red but froze in place. I stood up and came towards her to hug. "Can I hug you?" "Yeah, totally, holy shit," she said, hugging me. I forgot how tall she was. She pulled back from me and said, "You look so good! You kept your haircut. I like your skirt." She hugged me again. I asked, "Hey, do you have time to catch up? My flight leaves in an hour." She stammered, "I, of course, yes." I grabbed my bag and followed her. She was waving and smiling at staff, other flight attendants, and a couple of pilots as we walked down the terminal. I wondered if any of those pilots were Brad. We found a small cafe and sat down. "Oh wow, it's amazing to see you. I'm so sorry about all of that stuff I said, I'm such a hateful bitch, I'm so, so sorry," she just started pouring out apologies as soon as we sat down. "Allie, it's cool. I forgive you. I feel bad because, you know, I should have reached out." "No fucking way, babe. That was on me. Ugh. I like, spiraled after you left me. But you were right to. Honestly, I'm single now and just enjoying not worrying about other people's shit, you know? No offense." "None taken." "I got an apartment. I got a cat. Her name's Chloe, which is what I was going to suggest you name yourself before the Beth thing, because I always liked Chloe." I laughed and thought, "Same Allie." "God you look good, and your makeup is on point." She smiled, then continued, "So what have you been up to? Your dad's whole TV deal thing was all over the news a while back. I bet that's huge right now." "Yeah, pretty huge. I might move to LA and work on the show." I said "might" but I'd already signed a contract. I wasn't sure why I qualified it. "Holy fucking shit! That's so cool, oh thank you," she said to me and then to our waiter, accepting a couple of glasses of water he brought by. We ordered a calamari appetizer to share and a couple of drinks. "So what else is new with you? There's no way you don't have a girlfriend, you are hotter than I remembered," she said sipping a drink. I sighed and shook my head. "No girlfriend." I wondered if I should tell her that I was into guys. Instead, we talked for a few minutes about a recent promotion she'd gotten at work that made it easier for her to pick and choose when she traveled internationally. Out of the corner of my eye I noticed a masculine figure with broad shoulders and checked him out. His body was slightly better than Vaughn's and he had a couple of sexy tattoos. I looked back at Allie as she looked back at me and she said, "Wait, did we just clock the same dude? Swimmer shoulders and tats, guy?" I smirked and said, "Yeah, I think so." She leaned her head back and laughed, then came forward and said, "Have you been getting some dick, babe?" I smiled and nodded and said, "A little... actually a lot." We both chuckled, and Allie let her mouth hang open in feigned shock. "My manager. The asshole I used to complain about all the time. It just kinda happened." She laughed. "Oh, it figures. That was me when I was a teen. So, get it out of your system. Or just keep it in your system." I paused and grimaced. I felt like coming clean. "Actually, he kissed me at a party before we broke up." "Oh my god! You little slut!" she laughed, then put her head in her hands and turned red in the face. "That makes me feel better, to be honest." I sighed and said, "Yeah, I was just so pissed about the Brad thing..." "Oh god, don't say his name. That guy... I think I had like a 'daddy's little girl' thing with him or something. Like, I broke it off right after we split. I was just looking for his approval or something dumb." We both exhaled and sipped our drinks. She shook her head and said, "Well, I was shitty. But, I guess it would have ended anyway. I kinda felt it in bed, you know. When I dildoed you and you were all girly and moaning. I had the exact same experience in bed with a straight girl 'experimenting' in college. I can't explain it. Straight vibes." I closed my eyes and nodded. "I don't think I'm 100% straight, but... I'm pretty straight." "So are you still seeing this pizza manager guy?" "No, he got engaged to his girlfriend." "Wait, he was fucking you on the sly?" she whispered. "No, they had an open relationship and then she caught me coming out of his house after we had sex, and she yelled at me, and then next thing I know they're engaged." Allie put her head down on the table and squawked with laughter. ~ At ten after six, Jonathan opened the door to his two-story condo before I could knock. "Oh wow, you got a haircut," I said. It was fairly short and had a nice part in it. "It looks really good," I said, telling the truth. He looked good on top of the haircut, wearing a nice pair of jeans and a plaid button-down shirt. He was clearly putting some effort into this date. If he'd kissed me at the door, I would have been happy. "Thanks, you look amazing too," he said letting me in, but not ogling me. I was wearing a gray babydoll t-shirt and a ruffled pearl-white skirt that had a hemline just below my knee, with matching flats. I smiled up at him and entered thinking about the condoms and a change of panties I'd brought in my purse, just in case. He'd offered to let me sleep over if we went too late watching TV and I had a lot of episodes picked out. I smirked. His condo was mostly an open floor plan with a living room as you walked into the door, then a bar and a kitchen, then stairs and a hallway with a bathroom. I'd be willing to bet the second floor was two bedrooms and two bathrooms. Jonathan cleared his throat and headed into the kitchen saying, "Sorry. I'm almost finished with the risotto, just need a few minutes." I smiled and sat at the kitchen bar and watched him cook. He had a huge TV. There was just a couch that looked like it was big enough for three people. There was a ton of art everywhere, all different kinds of fantasy stuff. "Oh, nice. Is that Veritalle?" I asked, recognizing the Lovelorn Spire from one of my dad's Jester's Chronicles locations. "Oh yeah! I actually have a notebook for all the original art if you want to look through it. It's on my coffee table." I found it and was immediately smitten. He'd drawn diagrams of his rooms and numbered each painting in the diagram, then described them on the next page. I made my way around the living room and the hallway, identifying paintings and occasionally mentioning something to him when it was from my dad's books or a book by someone I'd met through my dad. He liked having other authors stay with us sometimes. "Mind if I look at the ones upstairs?" I asked. "No, of course not. Go right ahead." He smiled at me. I thought, "I can't believe I thought his grin was goofy before, he's so cute." I went upstairs and found an office and a bedroom. The bed in the bedroom was massive, much bigger than the one I slept comfortably in at home. He had a ton of Earthsea art in his bedroom, it was almost a theme. His office was where he kept a lot of the limited edition prints of things instead of the original art everywhere else. It was a mix of artists in there, but it was also where his library was. It was small compared to my dad's, but I still felt admiration. "Oh, hey," Jonathan said coming into his office behind me. I looked up at him and smiled, then said, "So you're missing a couple of Jester books." "Oh, right. Yeah. Madison wanted to borrow a couple. She was curious after I told her about your dad. The risotto's ready, by the way." I felt a pang of jealousy that he was lending books to Madison when he'd never lent me any, then nodded at him and followed him downstairs. "This is our second date and I'm already feeling jealous," I thought to myself. "Tastes do wander, mom." We sat across from each other at the bar in his kitchen and he served me his homemade risotto. "This is so fucking good, dude," I said eating bites and drinking the sauvignon blanc he poured us. "Thanks," he said, but the way he said it implied that he was extremely proud of my reaction. I told him the handful of episodes I'd prepared. They were Deep Space Nine episodes that I felt someone could appreciate without having seen the rest or really gotten to know the crew yet. Some of the best ones, like In The Pale Moonlight or Who Mourns for Morn you'd need to see the whole series to appreciate. I knew he'd seen and was already a big fan of The Original Series, so I knew the first episode would be Trials and Tribble-ations. We sat down on the couch together, and I put some space between us but not a lot, and took off my shoes and sat with my legs pulled up in front of me, angling my knees towards him. I looked up at him as he smiled over at me, then we started the episode. "Oh, she's the one you went to the convention as," he said as Jadzia Dax showed up on the screen. "Yeah, I'm a big fan. She's awesome in the next episode I want to show you, too." I explained to him all about her Trill race and how they had certain rare individuals who would have a symbiote put inside them, then when the joined Trill died, another Trill would take on the symbiote and along with it, its memories. Jonathan loved the first episode we watched, and so we queued up the second. It was Looking for Par'Mach In All The Wrong Places, where she and Worf hooked up. "Oh, this is good," he said. "I love Worf." I smiled and said, "Yeah, I liked him on Next Generation but he's amazing on Deep Space Nine." This episode was very sexual and I loved Jadzia and Worf's relationship. It took the whole episode to get together, but when they did it was explosive. I looked over at Jonathan and thought, "Maybe I could just sidle up next to him," but I kicked the idea out of my head. I'd held his hand! All night! That was, in my mind, literally an invitation to grab me and throw me into his bed. I smiled to myself and said, "Tonight's rule: no touching or kissing or asking him about either. He's got to do it." I sighed and thought, but I really want him to so I'll try and make it easy," then I drank another glass of wine. "So you're a little like Dax, right?" he asked after the second episode finished and before we started the third, Far Beyond the Stars. "What do you mean?" I smiled but already loved the question. "Well, you used to be a guy, now you're not, but you remember being a guy, right?" I chuckled and said, "Yeah, I guess we do have that in common." "So, what's something that's really different. And not just clothes, dude. Like, something that freaks you out." He was chuckling and I was let out a little internal "mm" looking at his dimples. He was relaxing around me. I wanted to say, "How good dick feels," but I scratched my chin and said, "Oh, like, jars. Man... it's weird." "Jars?" "Yeah. Jars, tight caps on bottles. I can't open a bunch of that stuff. My arms and hands are too weak. It freaks me out because I forget. I mean, I can eventually get them open but I have fuck with it. Like, hot water on the lid, prying it open with a knife, putting a rubber band around it for extra friction. But there are some jars that I can't get open even doing that and just give up, especially if my hands are too small to grip it. But it just feels weird and freaks me out because I was just so used to not having a problem with it and then bam. Maybe I'm exaggerating how many jars I have a problem with... still freaks me out. Lets say ten percent of jars." He was shaking his head at me saying, "Wow. I always thought that whole thing was sexist or something. My ex never had a problem." "Dude. Your ex is a professional basketball player." I smirked. "Oh, dammit! Right, sorry." We laughed together. I wanted to crawl all over him and make out. I was screaming for him to grab me in my mind. But he didn't make a move during Far Beyond The Stars. He didn't make a move during Duet. He didn't make a move during Take Me Out To The Holosuite. He didn't make a move during The Siege of AR-558. He looked at me a lot, we chatted a lot, and we smiled at each other a lot, but that was it. Finally, I had a nice buzz and said, "I think that's enough Star Trek for tonight." He smiled at me and said, "Sleep over?" "Hell yes," I replied, thinking, "Finally." He took a deep breath and said, "Okay, you take the bed upstairs and I'll sleep on the couch." I stared at him and shook my head. I needed to intervene. There was no way in hell I was sleeping alone in his giant bed. "Oh, Jonathan. No. Show me. Stretch out on this couch." I stood up and crossed my arms. He laid down on the couch and was about a foot and a half too tall for it to be in any way comfortable. I stood over him and said, "I'm going to sleep in your big bed with you. Okay?" He smiled and said, "Yeah, that sounds good." He stood up and loomed over me with a shit-eating grin on his face. I thought, "okay, he needed that but now I'm done for real. He's got the next move or we die without kissing." I grabbed my purse and walked upstairs with Jonathan following behind me. He went into his bedroom bathroom to brush his teeth, while I went into his office bathroom to do the same. My shoulders slumped as I realized that I couldn't just walk into the bedroom wearing underwear or just naked. I'd expected to get that way naturally, by way of the tall cute gentleman who'd invited me over. I gave him too much credit. I walked into his bedroom and saw that he'd put on some plaid pajama bottoms and a white t-shirt. I wanted to snuggle and run my hands through his new haircut. "Hey, Jonathan. Do you have a t-shirt I could wear to bed?" "Sure thing," he said, walking towards a dresser. "How about that Earthsea one," I asked, walking up close to him and looking up into his eyes with my mouth slightly parted. "Last chance, bud." He didn't take the bait and handed me a light green t-shirt. I smiled and nodded, then went into the next room to change. I left my panties on but took off my bra. His shirt was huge. It was like a nightgown. I chuckled. I walked into his bedroom and said, "Oof, so nice to get that bra off," and arched my back, stretching with my eyes closed. My tits looked huge tenting out in his big shirt. I wanted him to enjoy the view. I got in bed with him and covered up. Then put my head on the pillow facing him. "Hey," I said smiling. He smiled back and chuckled. "Are you comfortable with the ceiling fan on?" "Yeah, it feels nice." I was just looking at him and smiling. I could feel it in him, confidence building. It made me wet looking at him and thinking about him touching me. I inched my face forward on the pillow and he suddenly reached out and pulled me towards him, then kissed me. I kissed him back, his hands felt huge on my back. His kissing was a little awkward, but I started kissing his bottom and top lip, then his cheek. "You're so cute," I said as he ran his hand up and down my back. "You are the most beautiful woman I've ever seen," he said, kissing me and holding me tight. I noticed that he was touching me everywhere except my butt and breasts. "You can squeeze my butt," I said smiling into his kiss, and I moaned when he did it with his massive hand, then he started pulling my shirt- nightgown off, that I'd had on for about five minutes. Once my tits were out, he got a more steely expression and smiled at me like I was a plate of risotto. "Uh oh," I thought. "He's off the leash." He paid loving attention to my breasts, squeezing them and sucking on my nipples, which made me moan. I ran my hands through his hair and smiled, noticing that he actually had a pretty muscular back and thick shoulders. "We are going to have sex," I thought. I really wanted to have unprotected sex with him, but I brought a condom in case he didn't have any. He came up and kissed me again. I reached down into his pajama bottoms and it took me a second to realize that what I was touching was his penis and not his leg. "Holy shit," I whispered breathily. I could barely get my hand around his cock. I looked down at it with concern and curiosity. It was about twice as wide as my wrist. "Oh my god, it's so big." "Is that okay?" Jonathan asked. "I thought I was normal-sized." I nodded and said, "I want to have sex so bad." He kissed my neck and pulled down my panties as I used both hands to stroke his huge cock. There was no way the condom I brought was anywhere close to big enough. I didn't even want to guess at how long it was, and it was so thick. "We don't have to use a condom if you don't want to," I said. "I got tested before I went to LA and I'm clean." It felt a little unsexy talking about this, but I wanted to make sure he knew my deal. "I really don't like condoms," he said and I could guess why. "Are you sure?" I nodded and kissed him again. I tried thinking of a position that I'd think would work best for it and turned around in his arms, then spun my head around to kiss him, saying, "Put it in slow, okay." I arched my back and held my leg up to spread my ass wide, then I felt the massive head of his cock searching for the entrance to my pussy. It took a few tries, but he finally angled the head in, which made me gasp. He forced my vaginal walls apart and made me squeak as he went a couple more inches in, and then he held my leg for me, shifting in and out at a shallow depth. I moaned as he did and felt my pussy being stretched out. He started thrusting deeper and it felt like he was filling my body completely with his dick. I squealed and moaned his name, begging for more. As he pumped me I felt my insides moving around and adjusting to his length and girth as my vagina caved to receive him. "Oh my god," I panted when I finally stopped squealing. "Jonathan, you're so fucking amazing." Jonathan touched his head to mine and didn't say anything, growled a little and picked up the pace, causing me to squeal and moan even louder. The length of his body dwarfed mine in the bed, and his hand nearly completely encircled my thigh as he held my leg up to angle into me. He finally pumped me all the way to the hilt of his enormous shaft, getting impossibly deep. He slowed down and ran his hands up and down my body. I turned my head and made eye contact with him and shivered. He was so handsome. His cheekbones and the set of his jaw. But the mix of intensity and softness in the look he gave me drew me into him in a way I couldn't describe. For the first time I felt much younger than him. "He knows exactly what to do in bed," I thought. I moaned as he controlled my body, impaling me deep and rhythmically. I felt something that I never felt during sex with Allie or Vaughn. He turned my head and we kissed and I let out a little moan. It reminded me of the times I'd been with Allie and we'd reaffirmed our love for one another, but it also made me think of Vaughn and how much he made me feel wanted and desired. Wanting to orgasm, I said, "Let me get on top," and Jonathan slowly pulled out of me then rested on his back. I leaned over him and kissed him, then straddled his large waist, running my hands over his chest. At this point, his layer of flab meant nothing to me, and instead all I could feel was his large and powerful man I wanted to keep making love to. I straddled him and found his cock with my hand, then slid it into me slowly. "Oh fuck, Jonathan," I moaned. It felt even more amazing going into me a second time as I sat all the way down on it and slowly moved my hips back and forth. He flexed his cock inside me and I squealed. I touched my belly button and said, "It feels so deep," as he rested his hands on my hips and smiled at me. "I can't believe... you're so beautiful..." he said, slowly moving me by my hips while I was on top of him. The feeling of him filling me was so intense that my legs kept quivering as he fucked me. I could feel my pussy juices drenching his cock and the pajama bottoms that he hadn't taken off. "He probably feels embarrassed about his body," I thought. I would have loved skin to skin contact, but not if it made him uncomfortable. Jonathan looked at me intensely, then sat up and shifted his body into a cross-legged position, then pulled my legs around so they wrapped his waist, holding my back up so I was face to face with him. I'd never been in this position before. He started kissing me and I wrapped my arms around his neck to brace myself. He slid his hands down to my ass and squeezed both of my cheeks, then lifted me up by my ass, sliding me up and down his cock, getting deeper than he had before. I squealed with a twinge of pain, then started panting as he kept going. I could feel myself quickly building to an orgasm. He squeezed my ass and started thrusting me up and down on his enormous cock, making me squeal loudly. The position was so intense, and the orgasm was so powerful, that I felt my eyes watering. My body convulsed in his big hands, but he kept fucking me. I moaned as I felt his cock twitch and flex deep inside me and said, "Oh my god," as I felt him shoot his load in me. I kissed him on his lips, and then his cheeks, and his lips again. Panting with orgasmic aftershocks, I said, "Oh god, you're so good. You're so fucking good." He held me close, kissing me then kissing my nipples, slowly sliding me up and down on his lap. He was in complete control of my body, both inside and out. My body and also, I now felt, my heart. I looked at him like I'd never looked at another man. A silly and inescapable thought entered my mind that he'd "made me his." I hugged him tightly and then we slowly fell back onto the bed together. I looked into his eyes and moaned. "Are you okay? You were crying," he asked. I felt his cock inside me going slightly limp as we both calmed down. "Yeah, I'm okay. That was just so intense. Oh, Jonathan." I kissed him again. We cuddled afterwards and I told him how amazing he was a few more times. Then I draped my leg over him and fell asleep on his shoulder with his arm wrapped around me. I woke up right before dawn and stretched out on the bed, alone. I put my hand on the bed next to me and felt that it was still warm. I smelled him and smiled, then realized that my vagina was still caved inside me. My body was still reshaped to take him internally. "Holy fuck," I whispered, then I smelled sizzling oil and heard a coffee maker gurgling downstairs. "Oh god, this is the perfect guy." I got up and put on the Earthsea shirt, then made my way downstairs and saw Jonathan cooking breakfast. I hugged him as he stirred hashbrowns in a sizzling pan and pressed my face against his back. "Mornin' Beth," he said, using a free hand to hold me close, then going back to working on breakfast. "Good morning," I said, then pressed the other side of my face onto his body. "Hey, how do you like your eggs?" "Fried, sunny side up." I went and made some coffee for myself. He'd already set out some cups, along with sugar, cream, and stirring spoons. I looked up at him and said, "Do you have to do anything today?" He shook his head and said, "Nah. You?" "Nope," I took a sip of coffee and said, "Want to just lay around your condo together?" He nodded and went back to cooking, then after a while said, "I... just don't want you to think that this is all I want, you know." "What do you mean?" I asked, but my whole body felt warm when he said it. "Like, I just really really like you. I don't really want a... I dunno, a fling thing." "Yeah." I smiled and nodded at him. "I think I agree." He plated up my breakfast and then kissed the top of my head, oblivious to my inner excitement and the spread of warm tingly feelings across my body. I couldn't stop smiling. ~ One Year Later ~ Very few of our wedding guests had followed the "Renaissance Fair attire preferred but not required," suggestion. I looked over at my husband, who was sitting very close to me as if guarding me from the other wedding guests. "Hello, husband," I said with a big grin. Jonathan smiled back at me and said, "Hello, wife." Neither of us could stop smiling. I put my hand in his. I'd just finished my salmon and it was probably nearly time for speeches. We'd exchanged a few vows just a little bit earlier. I was wearing a mostly white or off-white tight corset, with a cream-colored ruffled long skirt. The undergarment I was wearing was white silk with light gray lace fringe. Jonathan was wearing a steel gray tunic with black leather everything else. My dad and Jonathan had spent the most time on the costumes while I was working on the show. Jonathan's cousin Levy, also his best man, was sitting at the table with us along with my dad and his agent, and Levy's boyfriend. They'd to from Maryland to be here while most of the other guests were local. Almost none of them had been to the festival grounds where we were holding our wedding, but Levy had gone once while visiting Jonathan. Other than my dad's agent, a woman named Pamela with a thick Long Island accent, this was the nerd table. Levy looked at my dad and husband and said, "Get ready," then stood up and loudly tapped on his glass. "Ladies and Gentlemen, it is time for the part of the ceremony where we speak and be heard!" Levy had an extremely receding hairline, jet black hair, and a really booming speaking voice. My dad was the first one to speak. "I'm not a big fan of public speaking, so I'll keep this short and sweet," my dad said with a flair that made it sound like he actually loved public speaking. "My beautiful daughter. Your mother's spirit is here and she is so proud of you, I know it." I started tearing up. I wanted my mom here so badly. "And Jonathan, your parents are here with us in spirit too, Anora and Theodore." Jonathan looked at the ground and nodded. I put my head on his shoulder. I was so lucky to have my dad, and Jonathan's parents had both died when he was twelve. My dad finished, "to the beautiful couple and all the spirits here wishing them well." Everyone raised a glass. Jonathan was next. He rubbed his eyes and stood up, taking the microphone from my dad. "I... could not possibly be more lucky... I'm sorry I had a speech planned, but thinking about my mom and dad being here, I just want them to know that I couldn't be happier right now. Beth has changed my life. I... yeah." I was moved. Jonathan smiled at me then gave the mic to Levy, then headed towards me but I stood up and kissed him before he could sit down with me. Everyone applauded. "You two are beautiful, you know that?" Levy said. "Well, as the Best Man it's my turn to give a little speech. I'll say something quick about my cousin Jon: I love you big guy and it's been great getting to know you better over the last year." Levy walked over and put his hand on my husband's shoulder, then said, "Okay now for the fun stuff. Let me tell you about Beth Morris. Sorry, Beth Malta, now." "I'm not changing my name!" I loudly whispered to him, the crowd mostly laughed. "Right, of course, look... so you all know I got a job on the Jester Chronicles show, right? Nepotism folks, it works! But seriously, I've worked on a lot of shows and I've never seen anything like Beth Morris." He started pacing a little and chuckling to himself as he continued the story. "The first day we were going to break down the full season of the Jester Chronicles there're a ton of people in the writer's room. Full staff, people half asleep in the corners, it's packed. Beth comes in fifteen minutes late and files herself away near the door. We'd already gotten started, and we're breaking this thing down. Max is diagramming things on a board, bing bang boom, this thing is practically writing itself." Levy shook his head and said, "But this voice pops up in the back saying 'wait, I don't get it' which I've learned is classic Beth Morris for 'you're a complete idiot,' and then she says, 'you're going to base an entire season on two pages of backstory in the tenth book of the series?" The audience chuckled mildly. I remembered being nervous as hell the first time I went to the writer's room, and I got lost on the way. I was miserable that day. "So we're all looking at each other like 'yeah, what's the big deal' and she lashes into us like you would not believe. 'This isn't what the fans want, this isn't what my dad wants, this is lazy as hell,' and so on. Then she walks up to the board, starts talking about a couple of different books, and hell I think maybe one or two of the staff have actually read all the books, and telling us what would make for a good season of television." I crossed my arms and looked at Levy. "So I remember just sort of sitting back in my chair and thinking, 'wow, actually she's right,' but honestly I was too scared to speak up because frankly, this was the biggest job I'd ever gotten. But after she launched into this thing, the room just goes silent. We were told that she'd be overseeing the big picture stuff, so the room was probably trying to think of ways to argue with her without just saying 'no,' but before anyone can, one of the half asleep people in the corner of the room gets up. Guess who it is? Vera Codero, huge star and Executive producer." Everyone in the wedding party oohed and ahhed at the mention of the famous actress's name. I smiled because I remembered what happened next. Levy continued, "So Vera gets up, walks into the middle of the room, does this exaggerated yawning stretching thing and says, 'do what the lady says,' and just walks out." Levy shrugged and paused for a moment then said, "So we did." The audience started applauding, and then Levy said, "and honestly, it's great television. Hopefully you all get to see it soon, and that's all I've got!" Jonathan held my hand the entire time Levy spoke. When Levy sat down, I smiled at him and mouthed, "Good job," then smiled at Madison, my Maid of Honor, sitting with her family that she'd brought with her. I'd promised her I wouldn't make her give a speech. She was scared enough of being in the wedding at all, but we'd grown closer over the last year and she was excited when I asked her. Jonathan and I couldn't stop smiling at each other as the evening continued. Then, later on, as I danced with my husband the world faded around me and all I could think about was our upcoming honeymoon in Scotland. I'd gone off the pill and we were going to try and conceive a child. I put my head on his chest and smiled thinking, "nothing makes me happier than thinking about starting our lives together." "I'm so lucky," I said to him. He just smiled his big cute grin at me and nodded. "How did I ever not find this guy attractive," I thought. My big television job and his planned role as house husband probably told the world that I wore the pants in this relationship, but honestly, Jonathan owned me completely, body and soul. Waking up next to him, living a life with him, I couldn't wait every day to give myself over to him physically and emotionally. He made it so damn easy.