180 Degrees free porn video

They said my world would change when my chosen numbers came up winners. Before I even turned that ticket in, I hired a lawyer and a financial planner. I may not have a college degree but I'm far from stupid. I had k**s and grandk**s to think about after-all.

The lawyer was both for estate planning and divorce. Luckily, we had been legally separated for months. Due to financial constraints we were still living together but that ended the day my numbers flashed up on the screen. I took my k**s that very evening and went to my best friend's house. I never went back.

Months later and all the dirty work of divorcing, splitting assets and custody were done. The k**s we had together were fifteen, s*******n and eighteen and a half now. In an attempt to not be 'every other weekend' parents, we had settled on two weeks at a time. He was still in our old house and I was in the new house I had purchased across town. While our marriage didn't work out, he was a decent father and I was more or less okay with this arrangement. At least in theory.

I was 180 pounds lighter and 180 degrees happier. Or close to it. Maybe 160 degrees.

The oldest was twenty-five and his k**s were set, despite him not speaking to me for the last five years. He was battling his own demons. d**gs and building me into a monster only he could slay. He hadn't contacted me except to sign papers at the lawyers, which was done without me there. He was still mine though. The offer of rehab was on the table for when he was ready.

I was extra grateful for the relationships with the mothers of his k**s now. It didn't feel like I was buying the k**'s love with the trusts that were set up for them."Tasha from www.xsofiax.com) I had been in their lives from day one.

The church I went to was propped up with a nice donation, the best friend and her family were set. My siblings and their k**s were set. Maybe not for life, but enough to make their day to day life just a little easier.

A trip to Disney World had just concluded a few weeks ago. Me, my k**s and the bff and her k**s who had never been. I felt great. I felt like I had been useful. Being a useful human was important to me. Which is why my next decision was out of character. Or at least seemingly so.

An ad went out for a personal driver. Very competitive pay. A small apartment included in the basement of my new house. A brand-new Prius, which could be used for personal needs when not driving for me. I hate driving. Every moment, of every time I've ever been behind the wheel since I started driving at twenty-one, had been hated. That hatred had only grown as the k**s got old and required more driving around.

I used to joke that if I ever won the lottery the only thing that I would do with the money was never drive again. Now that was an attainable reality. And I would be damned if I didn't follow through with what I had always said I'd do.

My daughter scoffed when three Prius' showed up in the circular driveway. One for each of us. "When did you get all eco conscience?"

Why, lovely daughter, I always have been...just wasn't always financially able to follow my inner eco-warrior spirit. Now I am. So, go, enjoy your brand-new car k**, before I change my mind.

The youngest got mad. He was eighteen months away from being able to drive. Sorry k**do. I can't control that. Don't worry. One will be waiting for you when you can drive. Unless you give me a reason to change my mind.

The eighteen and a half-year-old took his off to his new apartment with a thank-you smile. He was my appreciative k**. My joy. The one that I needed after the hell that was raising my oldest. My nearly perfect teenager who not only didn't like to party but couldn't drink because he lacked an enzyme to properly process alcohol. More than once, I wondered if he was actually my k**. If I hadn't been present when he was born I may have truly questioned it.

He was a good human. A very good human.

Don't get me wrong, my youngest k**s were too. They were just different. A little more like me. I always said that eighteen and a half-year old was a ninety-year-old gentlemen trapped in a 'insert age' boys' body. He's an old soul. Always has been. He got other people, understood their needs and tried to accommodate them.

He was nothing like me.

Anyways, so my world was changing. No more husband, only two k**s living at home. No worries about bills or if I can buy groceries. And time. So much time to write now. And then there's this ad. A few applicants thus far. All men. No thanks. I had no desire for a man living in the apartment downstairs. I should amend that ad if I needed to rerun it.

As if on cue, my email pinged. I picked up my phone. 'Personal Driver Ad' I clicked the email with the obvious header.

Ms. Hendricks,

Enclosed you will find my resume, references and a copy of my driving record. Most of the pertinent information for this job is within those documents.

About me. I am a thirty-nine-year-old female who worked in the education field until recently. Teaching in a high school in the changing educational climate has left me burnt out and seeking a change of pace and a change of scenery. I have an impeccable driving record, as you can see. I am well known for my careful driving.

I appreciate your time in considering my application and look forward to the chance to interview face to face.

Sincerely,

Tasha Adler

I opened the promised documents and read them over. Her driving record was perfect as stated. Her resume was impressive, if she was applying for a position in a school system. Her references seemed on point. A few phone calls later I was impressed with what was said about this Tasha Adler. She was ridiculously over qualified for a job driving me to the grocery store. If anyone could understand wanting a change of pace and scenery though, it was me. I had changed nearly everything about my pace of life and scenery in the last few months.

I opened her email again and formed my reply.

Ms. Adler

I thank you for your interest in the position. I have gone over your resume and called your references. A face to face interview would be the next step.

I am available any day this week at 1pm. If this works for you, let me know which day and I will send my address your way.

Sincerely,

Abby Hendricks

I clicked send and went back to my laptop and the story I was writing. I was mostly into embellished non-fiction right now. This one was about my less than wayward youth. There a wasn't much tension. Apparently, I was a very boring younger teenager. It wasn't until I was eighteen and pregnant, that my life got a little more worth writing about. I had a few wild slightly irresponsible years, then I got my shit together. The embellishments would be many. Giving myself the experiences I wish now I had had then, was part of the fun of calling myself a writer.

The youngest k** walked into the kitchen, looking for food. As always. A few slightly intelligible sounds left his mouth as he walked around. We hadn't lived here long, so he was still getting used to where everything was. He was like a young cub learning how to hunt. His prey, Doritos. A whole bag. I sighed and watched him walk out of the room.

It was mostly just he and I, now that the older one moved out. Well, he technically never lived in this house. He just started college a town over and didn't want on-campus housing, so I facilitated him an apartment. Which he was sharing with his girlfriend of two years. The daughter, after initially scoffing at the Prius I bought her, now spent most of the time she was not in school, in the car, at her friends, away from here. She could taste the freedom graduating in a few months offered and she wanted it now.

I got it. I was the same way at s*******n. Actually, I wasn't but I wanted to be. I just never allowed myself to be. It was one night of uncharacteristic teenage rebellion that ended with a positive pregnancy test. I learned the hard way you could get pregnant the first time. Other lessons were learned too. That some parents suck. That twenty-one-year-old 'men' were assholes. That giving birth alone at just barely nineteen was terrifying and difficult in more ways than can be imagined.

A pinging from my phone pulled me from my musings.

A reply from this Tasha person. She agreed to an interview tomorrow at 1pm. I sent her my address and my cell number just in case something changed. Then went back to my writing and otherwise doing nothing.

Lunch and dinner came and went. The next morning, after a strong cup of coffee, I went into the small apartment tucked in the back of the basement. Bedroom, full kitchen, even if it was small. Open floor plan with a single room for living/dining. Laundry facilities inside the large bathroom. Sliding glass doors that opened up to its own little patio.

I surveyed it all. Recently painted and fully furnished. This alone was worth the job. My best friend told me I was nuts for doing this. I could rent this apartment out or give it to one of the k**s. I could continue driving myself where I wanted to go or 'call a freaking uber' when I wanted to go somewhere. I listened to her telling me I was silly and this whole thing was outlandish. I loved her enough to allow her to get that out. Then told her to stop.

She had been hearing me say how much I hated driving for the twenty plus years we've been friends. She also had heard me joke about never driving again if the chance ever came my way. The fact she knew me so well, yet thought I wouldn't pursue this, made me question if she really did know me. I had the means and now, maybe after this interview, I would have the way. I just needed the right person to want such a job. Hopefully this Tasha was the right person.

The apartment had its own entrance, and a door that connected it to the rest of my house. There was a keypad lock on both. If this Tasha got the position, I would have her change the code to one of her own. I could also make it so she couldn't enter my house. I wasn't an idiot.

Slow down Abs. You haven't even seen this person and you're already letting her change the access code. Relax woman.

Back upstairs both k**s were in the kitchen. I told them I was doing an interview at 1pm. The youngest mumbled something then went outside to wait for his sister. The daughter rolled her eyes at me and told me I was 'so freaking weird' for doing this. Then they left for school.

Thanks for your support k**s.

I showered, got dressed.. jeans, decent shirt and boots. This job wasn't so formal that dressing up was needed. Which was good. I wasn't a fan of dressing up.

A little eye make-up and my shoulder length hair pulled into my standard ponytail. The wrinkles around my eyes and the shadows under them showed every one of my forty-four years. For a brief moment, I wondered about some plastic surgery. Then cast that thought out. This was me... considering I had brought four humans into this world I didn't look half bad. Today though, I looked tired. At least it was me doing the interview, not me being interviewed.

The bff was on her way over for lunch and to be sure I didn't 'end up on dateline' after this interview. I loved her but told her she didn't need to worry so much. I was a grown ass woman.

I made more coffee and sandwiches when she arrived.

She unceremoniously plunked herself down at the breakfast bar and started immediately in on me. "Seriously Abby. What are you thinking?"

"Aren't you sick of asking me this yet?" I was certainly sick of hearing it. Having her here was not my idea, nor did it feel like she needed to be. My lawyer was already running a background check on this Tasha. I wasn't as incompetent as she seemed to think I was. "I get you don't think this is something I need to do, but I'm doing it. So, I would appreciate support, not this please."

It was the one extravagance I wanted from this money I had won. Nearly everything else that I had done with it had been to the benefit of other people. This was the one thing I wanted and dammit I was doing it.

"Fine. I'll sit here and not speak and just hope neither of us ends up as a news headline tonight."

I sighed and stopped moving. "Thank you." She was so damn dramatic. And she loved me and worried. I got that.

We ate in near silence. She started in on me again when we were done. I told her to stop or leave. End of story. She stopped. I hoped she would stay quiet.

I glanced at the clock on the stove. It was nearly 1pm. The doorbell rang a moment later. Jan made a move to get up and I gave her a dirty look. "I can answer my own door."

I got a dirty look in return. And she said something about maybe I should get a maid next. I threw a dish towel at her. She laughed as she attempted to duck out of the way, which got me laughing. I was still laughing when I reached my front door and opened it.

It took me a second to stop and be at least semi-professional. "You must be Tasha." Okay just call me captain obvious. I put out my hand to shake hers. She met mine. Her shake was not like most women. She shook with strength and purpose. Like her hand was saying 'I'm someone you won't forget. Someone you won't want to forget'. It totally threw me off for a moment.

Her green eyes met mine as she shook. "And you must be Ms. Hendricks."

I smirked with the usage of my name. "Abby, please." I moved so she could step inside. She was taller than I was by a good four inches. She was dressed nice, but not up. Jeans, blouse, boots. Her black hair was short and tucked behind her ears, which were pierced three, wait, four times.

If I was still married, I'd be a little worried about having her living in my house. Attractive wasn't the right word for her.

Appealing. Alluring. Captivating. Enticing.

I wasn't sure what the right word would be, but there was something magnetic about her and she had been in my world for all of thirty seconds. I walked her into the kitchen, giving Jan a look to remind her to keep her mouth closed. We exchanged a look as she came into Jan's view. Then she mouthed "holy fuck" to me. I just shook my head. Jan was all too willing to judge a book by its cover, and this particular cover, was stunning.

I offered her tea or coffee, or whatever she would like to drink. She passed on all. We sat down and I introduced her to Jan. I didn't want this to be some stuffy interview. I knew her credit was fine. My lawyer hadn't found any red flags in her past. I was confident that if this 'interview' went well she would accept the position.

For the next thirty minutes we spoke. I had a really good feeling about her. After an initial formal atmosphere, we both relaxed and were talking like longtime friends. Jan even joined in; her apprehension seemed to have decreased.

She had never been married, no k**s. Had been teaching for fifteen years. I sensed there was more to why she was looking for a change of scenery but didn't press her. We all had reasons for why we did or wanted certain things. I was the last person to question a desire for a change in life circumstances.

I further outlined the job. The hours I may need someone. Jan made a few sarcastic remarks about how 'out in left field' even wanting a personal driver was. If I could have kicked her I would have.

Tasha, what I had seen of her anyways, was a quiet, but engaging person. Having three teenagers of my own, I empathized with her teaching math for fifteen years. We even joked about how unpredictable and volatile teens can be. I tried to make sure she knew my teens were decent k**s. Not perfect, but decent humans.

I had made up my mind about ten minutes into the meeting that I would offer her the job. Before officially doing that though, I wanted to show her the apartment. Jan stayed in the kitchen when I brought Tasha downstairs.

"There's a door between the house and the apartment and then." I paused as I opened that door and walked inside. "There's also its own entrance from the side of the house. Both locks can be programed to a code of your choice."

Tasha looked at me after she looked around the small but nice apartment. "Code of my choice?

I hadn't realized the way I worded that, but there was no need to act like I wasn't going to offer her the job. "If you want the position, it's yours." Then I realized I hadn't even shown her the car. "Oh, the blue Prius out front would be my car. The one you would be driving."

She didn't say anything, just nodded her head to acknowledge that she had seen it out front. I watched as she mulled everything over.

She looked around the apartment more, then spoke. "Sounds perfect to me."

I waited for her to say more. It didn't appear she would. It seemed like she was accepting the position, but I wanted to be sure. "So, is that a for sure yes?"

Her face turned to me, "It is. When do I start?" Her eyes were so green. Her smile small but genuine.

I smiled back. "Monday?" I was asking her more than telling her. "You can move in down here over the weekend." Another almost question.

Her head nodded; one piece of her jet-black hair slipped out from behind her ear. She reached up and pushed it back where it belonged.

She turned back towards me, "Okay. That works."

We walked back upstairs together then I walked with her outside, showing her the car as I did. We made plans for her to move in on Saturday. "I don't have much to bring so it won't take me long."

There was a hint of something else in her words. In the way she said that. The sound of her voice when she did. It wasn't something that made me nervous. Instead, I felt a slight sadness wash over the scene. Something that told me she had a story. One I would likely never know. We all had stories, I wasn't one to share mine or press for others to share theirs.

At the end of my walkway, she got into the passenger side of an SUV that was parked there and it drove off. Back inside, Jan started talking before I had even gotten in the kitchen.

"Okay, she's nice and doesn't seem scary but goodness she's like WOW! It's a good thing Travis is long gone. I'm not sure I would even trust my Mike around her. At all. I don't think she was even wearing any make-up."

I rolled my eyes at her but couldn't deny I had thought the same thing. Except, she could trust Mike 100% and she knew that.

*******

TASHA

I tucked the hair that had worked itself loose back behind my ear as I got into Olivia's SUV.

I barely had the door closed when she was pulling away from curb. "Well?" Her deep brown eyes were begging me to say I had gotten and taken the job.

"I can move in Saturday." I refused to make eye contact. Refused to see the relief I knew was washing over her.

"Okay. Good."

I knew by the tone of her voice she was working out exactly how quickly she could get my few personal items out of her house and moved over here. How quickly she could excise me completely from her life. I tried not to let the pain I felt wash over me. I would allow that later, alone in the twin bed of our guest room. Her guest room.

Things had been strained with us for months before she ended us. Pulled the rug out from under me that dark rainy night. 'Wasn't in love any more' 'wanted different things'. The last few weeks we had been orbiting around each other in the house we shared. The house she owned.
Me, trying to figure out my next move.

Her, already moved on.

We lived and worked together. Or had worked together. I had been contemplating a change in jobs before she ended ten years of my life. That night just made it official for me. No way I could see her at work every day and be okay. No way. I tendered my resignation to our Dean, then said goodbye to the girls' soccer team I had been coaching for eight of the eleven years I had worked at the private high school.

I would miss coaching more than teaching. Olivia, back when things were good, used to tease me about checking too many lesbian stereotype boxes. Short hair-check. Sports loving tomboy-check. Soccer coach-check. Often dressed more like a boy-check.

This one was only true sometimes. While I wasn't as feminine as Liv was, I was still very much a girl. I wasn't one for dresses, but I don't believe that is a must-like to be feminine. I just wasn't a girly-girl. Never had been.

Olivia always found a new box I was checking off simply by being me. In the weeks since we ended, I thought about this stuff more and more. Had she ever loved me for who I actually was? Or was it because I looked good next to her. Checked off some other box she felt was important. One she never let on she was checking off.

I saw the ad for a personal driver by chance. I wasn't particularly fond of driving but didn't hate it. My now ex co-workers used to tease me for being overly cautious when I drove. Now, that tendency got me this job, and a chance to figure out the next step in my life.

What drew me to the ad was the apartment that came with the job. And the person who ran the ad. I had seen her once after she won the lottery months ago. Surrounded by people I assumed then and knew now, were her k**s and her friend, who happened to be at the interview. That seemed a little odd, but maybe she was just lucky and had a good friend.

I had been nervous when I arrived and rang the doorbell of her house. Was I dressed right? Would she see me and decide a lesbian wasn't what she wanted driving her around and living in her house? She was laughing when the door opened, a joke or something I wasn't privy to.

After an initial formality, the rest of the time spent during the interview had been relaxed. I wasn't sure if she was putting up a front, but she didn't seem like the bitch I had heard she was. In fact, she had soft eyes and a sweet genuine smile. It was easy to talk to her and her friend. The friend had been a little on edge. She didn't seem to understand why Abby wanted a personal driver, maybe she was just protective.

I kept any comments about it to myself. I wasn't there to screw anything up.

I had heard rumblings about Abby Hendricks after she won. Some of the moms of my soccer girls said she was a bitch. 'Didn't play well with others '. I never gave it much thought then because she wasn't someone I would cross paths with. I also wrote a lot of it off as jealousy. She had just won millions. Lots of millions, after-all. Soccer moms could be vicious.

I wondered what they all would think when they heard she hired a personal driver. It seemed like such a ridiculously unnecessary luxury and the perfect thing for them to sink their claws into. I had no judgement though. Instead, I was filled with gratitude for this job nearly falling into my lap.

Back at the house, I had stopped thinking of it as home weeks ago, I went into the small guest room I had been inhabiting since that rainy night. My shit was already packed in anticipation of moving out one way or another.

The next few days were quiet. Liv went to work as she had been doing since the academic year began, I did not. I read a lot, went for a few walks then, it was Saturday. Abby called me, we set up the time I would arrive. She also asked me for a small grocery list. 'So, you don't have to worry about it for a few days '. I told her she didn't need to grocery shop for me, but she insisted, saying she would feel better knowing I only had to worry about settling in to my new place for the first few days. This didn't seem like something someone with her reputation would do.

The soccer moms had her all wrong.

Olivia helped me with the trips from the house to her SUV. She didn't leave the SUV to help me move my stuff into the small basement apartment though. A few trips later everything was in. Abby had offered help, but I declined. She didn't need to know how little I was bringing with me.

I had been relieved when she showed me the apartment, that it was fully furnished. The colors and décor weren't my style but being picky wasn't a luxury I had right now.

The last load brought into the apartment and I stepped outside, planning to walk back to Liv at the curb and say goodbye. She wasn't there. Had she pulled away the second my back had been turned? I sighed and went back inside and surveyed my new space. It would do. For now, anyways.

I spent the rest of the day putting my stuff away, watching some TV and reading. It was nice to not have to worry about going to the store for food or anything else as I got used to the space. Also, I had no car and while I knew I had the use of the Prius out front, I didn't have keys for it yet. And, I wasn't really sure how this was all going to work and wanted to wait and take my cues from Abby.

When I crawled into the queen bed that night, the reality of my relationship truly being over washed over me. My eyes filled with tears and didn't stop for hours until I finally fell asleep, emotionally spent.

******

ABBY

Tasha moved in a day and a half ago. My k**s had been hassling me since I told them it was happening.

"Seriously mom? I thought this was some damn joke. I'm so glad I can drive myself."

The hormonal youngest son said, "She's kinda hot."

Again, I couldn't disagree. She was. I was going to have to have a long talk about appropriate behavior with him. He should know better, but teenage boys could be assholes, so the conversation would happen. Probably more than once.

The television was on, The Masked Singer playing off Hulu. It was the one reality show I actually liked. Sunday night, and the k**s were with their father for the next two weeks. I had toyed with having Jan come over but didn't want her to have any more fuel for giving me shit about Tasha. Just as I was thinking about her, my phone rang. I clicked pause on the show.

Jan, wasting no time hassling me. Again. This was getting old as shit.

"Abs, you're alone in that house with someone you just met. How is that not freaking you out?"

"First off, I'm not alone in the house with her. She's in her apartment and I'm in my house. Second, she can't get in the house. And if I was actually worried about this she wouldn't be here. Stop creating issues were there are no issues!" Hopefully, this would all stop soon.

"Abby I'm just looking out for you."

"Jan, I have to go, the commercial break is over. Night." There was no commercials, but she didn't need to know that.

The call ended, I pressed play on the remote and got lost in the antics of the judges. Ken Jeong cracked me up. I was even starting to like Jenny McCarthy, which I never thought would be possible.

My world used to be so loud, it was hard getting used to the quiet. This was only the second two week span the k**s were gone since we ended the marriage and the k**s and I had gotten back from our trip. They were doing fine with it all. But sitting here watching the TV alone, it was so quiet, I would need more time to get used to this.

Maybe Jan should have come over. I dismissed that idea almost as quickly as it had popped into my head. Things were fine. I was fine.

The show was over, and I went to bed, briefly wondering what Tasha was doing downstairs.

******

TASHA

Faint sounds of her moving around upstairs came through my ceiling. I was living inside someone else's home, someone I now worked for. The sounds and thoughts of that unnerved me a little.

Tomorrow was my first official day. She had sent me her schedule. A few appointments, lunch with her friend not much else. Her k**s were with their father for the next two weeks. I had only gotten a slight peek at them before they left. The boy had a soccer shirt on when I saw him. Was Abby actually a soccer mom? The idea of that made me chuckle.

Two weeks. It would just be her and I here. I reminded myself that first off, she was straight. And secondly we were both just out of long-term relationships. Oh, and she was my boss. It didn't matter that she was attractive and borderline adorable.

I clicked on the TV, scrolled through the guide. Nothing much on. I had my Roku already hooked up and was soon watching The Masked Singer from Hulu. I hated reality shows, talent shows and all the like, but something about the kookiness of this show made it easy to like.

The show ended and I went to bed, determined not to find myself an emotional mess like the previous night. Abby had an appointment at 8am tomorrow. The last thing I wanted was to be groggy or moody on my first day.

I was up early. Earlier than needed, but now I was struggling with what to wear. Jeans? Nice shirt? More dressed up or less? I settled on being me. Jeans, boots, nice shirt. If it was wrong, she seemed like the type to let me know.

I was outside at the car at 7:30. Abby was out a few minutes later.

"Morning Tasha. I can not believe I forgot to give you a set of keys! I feel like an idiot." She was smiling big as she placed the keys in my hand. Her light brown hair was up in a ponytail, the same way it had been each time I had seen her, which wasn't exactly many times.

"Good morning Ms. Hendricks." I took the keys, unlocked the car and made my way to the driver's seat. I noticed she seemed to pause, maybe to wonder where to sit. The same thoughts had flashed through my brain. Where would she sit. If behind me, I knew this was going to be a much more formal job than I anticipated. If next to me, it would be more relaxed, maybe too relaxed. This was new territory for us both.

The passenger front door opened, and she sat down. The scent of vanilla hit me as she did. I had smelled it during the interview too. "Abby. Please, no Ms. Hendricks".

I nodded and started driving.

Sitting inside the car while she was at her appointment, I realized I needed to keep a book with me to help pass the time. Her appointment today didn't take long and soon we were back at her house. She went in the front door and I went in my side door entrance. The key pad code was now one I had chosen.

The next few days were the same. I drove her for her various activities. We spoke a little, but not much. The smell of vanilla filled the car each time she sat down. It lingered in the air when she left.

I was sitting in the car reading, outside an upscale restaurant while her and Jan had lunch. The car was parked directly outside the door and I noticed them both glance my way more than once. Abby more than Jan. Of course, this was because I was glancing in watching them, but really glancing at her. Wondering what they were talking about, certain at least part of the conversation included me in some form or another.

The feeling of being on display hit me hard. We were getting along fine when in the car together, but once back at the house we always went our separate ways. My time was spent inside for the most part. Sometimes, I read on the small patio just outside the sliding glass doors.

I had taken myself grocery shopping, picking up the treats I liked that I had omitted from the list I had given her. She didn't need to know my affinity for Swiss Rolls. Or that I didn't care for coffee from the Keurig that was in the apartment. Loose dark roast coffee was essential for my French press. And a teapot to heat the water properly.

******

ABBY

"So, is she like, just gonna sit in the car while we have lunch?" Jan was whispering, like Tasha was some weird secret no one should know about.

It was Thursday. Tasha had been driving for me for four days now. Not that I had some wild social life. Appointments. Life. Groceries.

Day one had been awkward. I wasn't sure if I should sit up front or in the back seat. Which would be weirder? I settled on up front being the least weird. We didn't talk. Day two was less awkward, we spoke a little. By day four I was comfortable, and it seemed she was also.

I actually really felt bad she was sitting outside, while we were in here eating. As I suspected when she came for her interview, she was sweet. Quiet. At least so far.

She hadn't gone anywhere but wherever I needed to go since she had moved in Saturday. That didn't take long, as she told me it wouldn't. The same SUV pulled up in front of my house and she made three trips from it to the apartment. The driver of the SUV didn't get out, didn't help her. A few boxes and a few suitcases later and the SUV left. I watched, held open doors, offered help that she refused.

"Why are you whispering? It's bad enough people already look at me the way they do since I won that money. Stop making things even weirder Jan."

I hated the way people I barely knew acted like I was their best friend as soon as my name was released. I had one friend and she was sitting across from me. Most people didn't like me before I won the money, and I hadn't changed enough to make them like me now.

Jan just looked at me and sighed. We ordered and ate lunch; our conversation was kept light. My mouth managed to not spout off at people staring at me.

My eyes glanced outside a few times and it didn't go unnoticed. "Are you still coming for dinner Saturday? Abby!"

"Sorry. Yes." My attention was back on her. The one person who had put up with me since the day we met twenty-three years ago. Back to my single motherhood days. We met when I punched some dumb drunk at the bar I bartended at. He had spent too much time hitting on every woman near him. Security wasn't moving quick enough, so I came around the bar and punched the asshole, who at that exact moment, had grabbed her ass.

We had been friends since.

My bitchy side never got to her. She also saved my life that night in ways that were hard to explain to other people. Not that I cared to try anyways. I was twenty-one, had been working in that dive bar since my son was born and drinking heavily every night. The challenges of single motherhood overwhelmed me, and alcohol allowed me a reprieve. It also allowed me to be reckless and a less than stellar mom. Jan helped me get and stay sober. Gave me a person to be accountable to.

Because of her, I became a good mom to the oldest and a great mom to the next three. She introduced me to Travis. Despite the marriage being an utter failure, I was still grateful. Without her I wouldn't be alive, and I wouldn't have my k**s.

She was my person. Even if she annoyed the crap out of me sometimes. I equally annoyed her, that much I was aware of. Hell, I annoyed myself half the time. Somehow though, we worked together. Always had, from moment one. Even in the bad moments, and there were plenty of those in the beginning. The days when she could have, should have, walked away from me, this person she barely knew, but she never did.

"Abby!" Jan about yelled at me.

"Holy crap, I'm a foot from you, why are you yelling?"

She had an exasperated look on her face. "Because you may be a foot from my physically, but your mind is not here. What the hell is going on?"

I took another bite of my lunch, making her wait for me to respond. "I was just thinking about the day we met."

"Oh." She got quiet. She didn't always like remembering back to those days. I had not been an easy friendship for her. I came with a two-year-old, and enough issues for a library. A drinking problem that could have killed me. There were dark nights as I dried out. In her small apartment because me and my son had moved in there not long after we met.

When I remembered back, I tried to find what she saw in me that made her want me in her life. I was a fucking mess then. No one wanted me. Not my parents, my siblings or the father of my son. Never once did I find what she saw. But I was forever grateful she saw something.

I changed the subject. "So, who's cooking Saturday? You or Mike?"

She gave me a dirty look. "Really?"

Jan was a horrendous cook and I loved reminding her of that. "Sorry couldn't help it."

"Maybe I'll pick you up?"

I sighed. She really did have an issue with me hiring Tasha. It was far from the first time we had an issue with a choice the other made. We just made a point of never letting shit go unsaid so it wouldn't grow and fester. This time though, I wish she would just accept it.

"Fine." It just wasn't worth arguing with her.

We finished eating and parted ways outside the restaurant. I got in the Prius and said hi to Tasha.

"Hello Ms. Hendricks. How was your lunch?" Her eyes were on the road, both hands on the wheel as she spoke. She really was an excellent driver.

"Abby. Please, no Ms. Hendricks." I had told her this a few times. I hated the formality of it.

"Sorry. Abby." Her eyes didn't leave the road as she spoke.

"Lunch was good, thank you for asking."

She simply nodded her head and continued driving. We were heading back to the house. I had nothing else to do now until Saturday and wouldn't need a ride. I told her that unless something came up, she was free until Monday. Another simple nod of understanding.

At the house, I walked to the front door and she walked to the side entrance of the apartment. In that moment a feeling I wasn't sure of washed over me. Doubt? Maybe that was it. Was this personal driver thing as over the top as Jan and my k**s had been saying? Until this moment I had been steadfast in my determination to have this one 'thing'.

I didn't like feeling this. At all.

Inside, I changed into leggings and an oversized shirt, made a cup of tea, grabbed the book I was reading and went out on the deck. As I sat there, the apartment door could be heard opening then closing and out of the corner of my eye I saw the blue Prius leave the driveway.

So, she had a life of some sort after all. That was good.

A few chapters, and one tea refill later and the car was pulling back into my drive. This time I moved so I could be nosey and see her walk back to the apartment. She had a Barnes and Noble bag in her hands. So, maybe not much of a life, but I could appreciate a trip to the bookstore for certain.

I finished my tea, went inside and spent the remainder of my day writing, picking at food and staring at the television. Then I went to bed. My life was becoming a different sort of lather rinse repeat than I had known before. I wondered how long before I got utterly bored with this new normal.

Probably not long.

****

TASHA

"Tasha!"

I heard my name as I was perusing the shelves at the Barnes and Noble not far from my apartment. I knew the voice. My insides tightened up with the sound of it.

Monica. Resident busy body at the school I used to work at, and she still did. She was a direct pipeline back to Olivia.

I turned and said hello. We hadn't seen each other since school concluded last year. She assaulted me with questions on why I left the school, what happened with Olivia and I and what I was doing now.

I avoided telling her much. While I was certain enough rumors of where my life currently was were going around inside the school and outside of it, I had no desire to discuss it.

In a move that was very uncharacteristic, I was borderline rude to her as I continued picking out new books and only engaging in surface conversation. She followed me around the shelves peppering me with more questions, undeterred by my lack of interest in her.

Five new books in hand I said goodbye and walked towards the check-out. I couldn't get out of that store fast enough. Next time, I would order online.
"Don't be a stranger Tasha. Everyone misses you!"

Sure they do Monica.

Back at the house, I walked towards the door, catching a glimpse of Abby on her deck watching me walk. Code punched in, I stepped inside. This small apartment was beginning to feel like my safe haven. Or was it where I was hiding from the world? It didn't really matter.

I changed into sweats and my favorite hoodie. The one I got at the Boston Aquarium last year when Liv and I went. She had the same one, but in blue. Mine was black. There was still some daylight left so I brought a water and my book out on the patio and read the rest of my evening away.

****

ABBY

"Well Mike, you did it again. Another wonderful meal."

"Thanks Abby."

Jan's husband was the nicest guy I had ever met. And I had met him first. We had even gone out once. I knew after that date that he was not the guy for me. Or rather, I was not the girl for him. He was too nice, and I was still mostly a mess back then. So, I introduced them, and the rest was history. A year later they introduced me to Travis, which went well for a decade or so then slowly burned up for the next nine years.

I told her all the time that I was a way better matchmaker than she was.

Jan and I cleaned up from our meal, their two k**s were younger than mine and had already disappeared into their playroom. Mike grabbed the chocolate silk pie I brought and cut it, handing us each a piece.

"Abs, any issue with me having a beer?" He asked me this question every time we did anything together and had since the day he and Jan became a couple.

"Mike, I've been sober for twenty-two, almost twenty-three years and I've never minded if you have a beer, have I?"

"No, you haven't, but I'm going to ask you every single time Abs, things change." He was the best guy I had ever met. He was also the luckiest because my best friend was perfect for him. They were so good together and so happy together still, that sometimes I wanted to puke.

The conversation quickly turned to Tasha. I groaned. "Seriously Jan? Are you ever going to just let this go?"

"Yeah Jan, come on. Abby isn't stupid. Let her be." Mike nudged his wife's shoulder as he spoke.

I smiled at him for his support. Jan relented and allowed me to change the subject. We were a half an hour into talking about this and that, when the k**s came running into the kitchen.

"Auntie Abby, Auntie Abby." Kellie, the oldest at seven with her fiery red hair that matched her father's, was bouncing with excitement. Addi, the baby at five joined in. They were both tiny balls of energy and I didn't understand how Jan kept up with them. My grandson was the same age as Addi and after a single day with him I needed a week to recover. Young k**s were much easier when I was much younger.

"Yes, Kellie?"

"Our pictures came. Did mommy show you?" She hadn't stopped bouncing as she spoke with great excitement in her voice. I loved how k**s this age approached everything with such jubilation.

"She didn't." My hand was soon filled with the clammy hands of an excited c***d and I was pulled into the living-room. There, they showed me the various prints from our recent trip to Disney World. The girls with Anna and Elsa, a few of all of us in various locations and poses. A smile spread across my face. Their excitement was contagious. I picked Addi up and gave her a big hug.

"Thank you Auntie Abby for taking us." Her tiny little arms flung around my neck locking me to her. I sighed.

"You are so welcome Addi." Her hug hadn't let up and I loved it. I couldn't remember the last time one of my k**s gave me an unprompted hug and I didn't see the grandk**s nearly enough.

Jan had followed us in and was standing next to me. "There's a few in there for you. I'm getting them frames before I bring them over."

"Thanks." My head leaned on her shoulder, Addi still in my arms.

"Okay girls, it's bath time."

The girls protested, loudly.

"Kellie Anne, Addison Abigail. Bath. Now." Her mom voice was strong and worked. Addi left my arms and followed Kellie to Mike, who brought them upstairs for baths.

"Night Auntie Abby."

"Good-night girls."

Jan sat down on the couch, I followed. "How do you do this every day?"

She looked at me. "Seriously? You had three k**s in three and a half years. Plus, an older one. I'm pretty sure that was harder. I remember those little terrors of yours."

"Hey! They were not terrors... okay they were, but I was also a whole lot younger. How do you do this at your age?" Jan was two years older than I was.

"They don't give me much choice do they?" A chuckle escaped her.

"Nope, that's for sure." I yawned.

"Ready to go home?" I had leaned into her deeper as we sat on the couch. Memories of those early years of our friendship hit me. So many nights just sitting on the beat-up couch in that small apartment watching tv and talking.

"Um hum." My eyes threatened to close. I could have easily fallen asleep like this. It wouldn't have been the first time. I had done it more times than I could count over the years.

She nudged me with her shoulder. "I love ya Abs, but you don't wanna be sleeping on this couch when those girls wake up in the morning. They are at full energy capacity at 6am."

I sat up and laughed. "Home it is then."

*****

TASHA

Instead of staying inside all day, as soon as Abby left with Jan, I went for a walk. The neighborhood was nice. Basketball hoops in almost every driveway. Soccer nets and k**s playing in most yards. Polo shirt wearing dads on riding lawnmowers everywhere in between. It was a nearly picture-perfect bulletin board for heteronormality in suburbia.

I took my time walking, getting to know the area better. In true suburbia form, many people waved to me as I walked. I waved back despite not knowing them. The wind was picking up and my hair refused to stay behind my ears. After a few miles I gave up trying to make it. I should have worn a baseball cap. A call to my hairdresser was needed, soon.

It was nearly dark when I made my way back to the house. Inside the mundane tasks of being an adult awaited me. I did laundry, made myself dinner and looked over Abby's schedule for the next week. Not much was on it, my services wouldn't be needed often. I found myself disappointed. Not so much for the lack of driving around, but for the lack of seeing and talking to her. The very little we spoke in the car was time I looked forward to. Maybe it was the break from all the down time I now had, maybe it was because she was nice, and I enjoyed her company.

I heard a car in the driveway and Abby saying goodbye to Jan, then footsteps overhead. I listened as she wandered around, then as things quieted. Settling in to my bed a few minutes later a wave of sadness hit me. Getting used to sleeping alone had been the hardest part of Liv and I ending. The weeks of sleeping in the guest room helped ease me into that, but now the utter quiet that surrounded me was unsettling at times. It took me much longer than usual to finally fall asleep.

**

The week dragged. I needed to come up with a hobby or two if this job was something I was going to keep long term. There just wasn't enough for me to do, and I wasn't interested in the few social invitations I had gotten. Most had come from former colleagues, which I knew were little more than fishing expeditions. Their calls and emails said all that was needed for me to know to decline the invites.

If I was the rebound or quick fuck type, a few invitations would have been enticing. That wasn't what I needed in my life right now. I needed to just enjoy this season of downtime, figuring out what my life looked like without Olivia and without teaching. Most days I couldn't decide which I missed more.

Sunday late morning and I knew Abby's k**s were due to return later. My next two weeks would at least be busier. That would be a welcomed change. I made a cup of coffee and went out on the patio to read. I was barely in the chair when I heard Abby calling down to me.

*****

ABBY

Another week had passed, and my k**s were due home today. I was on the deck enjoying the last few hours of quiet.

Tasha and I had not spoken much, it had been a quiet week, I didn't have many places to be. More than once, we had both been outside reading. Me on the deck, her on the small patio under and to the right of the deck. A few times I almost invited her up with me. Then I didn't. I was unsure of what was acceptable. What would be crossing the employer/employee line.

In the days since she moved in and started driving we talked only in the car. Hadn't seen each other except for inside the car. I would text her my schedule or any additions or changes and she was always at or in the car on time. The formality of our arrangement was starting to niggle at my brain.

Even so, not having to drive was better than I thought it would be. After only two weeks of it, I knew I would absolutely never drive again unless forced to. My overall day to day tension had lowered. I felt better, my mind clearer. Whether that was all due to not driving, or the entirety of the change in my circumstances, I would never know. What I did know though, was that Tasha was worth every penny and I made certain I would be able to afford her for many many years.

The next two weeks, with the k**s home, would be a drastic change. Kris had her own car, but Sam was too young and would need to be places. He had soccer practice and games. Kris drove them to and from school at least. Plus, my grandk**s would be over a few times, and we'd have to bring them home. All things I always did myself. The semantics of the week were a little daunting when I factored in me not driving.

Before the k**s arrived, I decided to go talk to Tasha. Somethings were just better dealt with face to face. Now, I tried to figure out what was most appropriate. Text her to tell her I was coming downstairs. Knock on the door within my house or go outside to that door? As I was preparing to decide, I heard the sliding glass door open and close and a chair on her patio groan.

Could I just call down to her and have her come up here? Would that be acceptable?

Get a grip Abigail.

"Tasha. Is that you?" Holy crap who else would it be? Well honestly I didn't know. It was never said that she couldn't have guests. She could, of course. That apartment was her home.

Shit. Stop rambling Abs.

"Um yeah." Her voice carried up to me easily.

"Um. Can you come up here? I wanna talk about the week."

"Sure." Her voice sounded hesitant, but a moment later I heard the sounds of footsteps on the stairs leading up here.

She came into view a second later. She was in a black Boston Aquarium hoodie and grey sweatpants. I had never seen her dressed this casually. When she drove, it was usually jeans and a nice shirt. Nothing fancy but she always looked put together and nice. She pulled off comfort as well as she pulled off casual.

"Hey."

"Hello." She stood still the top of the stairs. I motioned for her to sit near me at the table. She hesitated for a split second, then did. Her hair looked like it always did, neatly fixed and tucked behind her ears.

"Drink?"

I had a tea. I could easily make more. "I'm set but thank you." She looked mildly uncomfortable. Maybe this wasn't the way to go about talking to her about stuff. Well, she was here, and I had started this, so I needed to finish it.

I took a deep breath, then started talking about the k**s coming home and what this week and the next week would look like. When she had taken the job, I made it clear that my k**s were only here every two weeks and those weeks would be more hectic. "I figured we needed to hammer out the details together."

In what I had grown to know was her way, she nodded her head in acknowledgement. I couldn't help myself from smiling at her. Then wondering if we would get to a point where we talked like we had at her interview. That had only been a few minutes, but I felt a connection, like we could be friends.

As I sat pondering that, she didn't move. I took that as a good sign. The next hour was spent first talking about driving and the k**s, then spiraled into us just talking. About life. This felt more like the vibe I got from her during the interview. "I'm making myself more tea, are you sure you don't want any?" I stood up and started moving towards the kitchen.

"Um. I probably should go back downstairs."

"You don't have to go." I was enjoying her company. She was smart, and witty. We both loved reading, the beach. Movies, but only at home never the theater.

"Um.. okay. No tea, thank you."

I stepped back into the house, waved for her to follow. Inside the kitchen, I started the teapot. "Water? Soda? Coffee?" I wanted her to say yes to something. That would get her to stay talking with me longer.

"Coffee would be great." She smiled at me. Or maybe it was at the thought of coffee. It was probably the coffee. I showed her the Keurig and the array of choices. She paused for a moment then went about making herself a cup while my tea steeped. I offered her a variety of flavored coffee creamers, but she took her coffee black. No sugar. I couldn't imagine that.

Warm drinks in hand, we went back out on the deck and sat down. I turned on the little fire thing that sat decoratively on top the table. It was the first time I had, and it took me a moment to get it working right. Tasha grinned when I swore as I did it.

"Sorry." She just smiled and nodded. "How are you enjoying the change from teaching?" I was genuinely curious to know if the job was okay and if she was finding what she had hoped to. Also, a little apprehensive with what her answer might be. I had never been someone's boss before. I knew I could be a raging bitch a good chunk of the time and hoped that side of me hadn't come out without me realizing it.

She eyed me for a moment before answering. Maybe pondering her response, tempering it for me. Making certain to put the words in the correct order so as not to let on she wasn't enjoying this job.

I hoped that wasn't it.

"It's been...an adjustment." Her green eyes shifted to catch mine, taking in my reaction no doubt. "But so far, it's been a good change." A small smile appeared as she spoke. This made me feel better. "I'm slowly getting used to having so much free time."

"Well that's good. Let's see if you still think so after my k**s are around for a few weeks. And I totally feel the same way about the free time. I'm trying to get used to it myself." Part of me was tempted to ask her if she wanted to watch a movie or something to help us both fill that free time.

Friends did that sort of stuff. We weren't friends, I was her boss.

"How old are the k**s again" Her coffee cup was just at her lips when she asked me that. I was too busy being enthralled watching her sip the warm liquid that I almost missed the question. "Oh. The ones that still live home are fifteen and s*******n. Then the next one is eighteen and a half and in college. He has his own apartment not far from campus. The oldest will be twenty-six in a few months." Which meant that just a few days before that I would forty-five. Somehow, that number seemed more ominous than fifty did.

She gave me a look, then said, "You do not seem old enough to have a k** almost twenty-six."

I appreciated the gesture, and I knew I usually people though I was closer to my late thirties than nearing forty-five, but lately, I had been feeling my years more than ever. "Thank you. I am though. And he has a five-year-old and a one-year-old of his own." I left out that he also had d**g dependency. That was hard to talk about.

"Gramma eh?" That look had changed to almost amusement. I waited for a laugh or chuckle. Anything after saying that. Anything that didn't make me feel ancient. Nothing.

"Yep. Except it's Mimi." That had started when Alex began talking. It took some time for it to grow on me. If he hadn't been the sweetest thing to ever enter my life, I may never have been okay with 'Mimi', but the fact was, I melted every damn time he said it. His little sister had just started being able to almost say it, she melted me even more.

Our conversation shifted from my k**s and grandk**s to winning the lottery and then my divorce. I found myself laughing easily as we chatted.

"So, the same day?" Tasha's face showed her doubt in what I was telling her.

"Yep. I didn't even tell him I had won. I packed up the k**s and we went to Jan's. I didn't need his income to survive any longer. He still had these ideas that he could fix our marriage. If only he had cared a decade ago maybe."

"Men!"

I agreed with a laugh.

More time passed, we both needed refills on our beverages. She talked about some of the chaos she had experienced while teaching.

"Man, I feel an overwhelming need to call all of my k**'s former and current teachers and apologize profusely."

That elicited a deep laugh.

We were both still laughing when the k**s walked out on the deck. They said hello to me, and Tasha. The air had changed a little when they arrived. A moment later Tasha said goodbye and went back downstairs. The afternoon sitting just talking had been a nice change. She was easy to talk to, easy to like. A new confidence in the decision to hire her surged through me.

Sam's voice snapped me back to here and now. "Mom, what's for dinner. I'm starving." My life as mom was back in full swing.

*****

TASHA

My goodbye still hung in the air as I made my way back down to the patio. The cup of coffee cold on the table. Picking it up, I walked it and myself inside. I turned some music on and washed the mug and the French press as I went over the events of the day in my head.

Sitting, talking with Abby had been easy. She didn't live up to anything I had heard about her. After two weeks of working for her I could say that without any doubts. I could easily see us becoming friends over time.

I met the k**s for all of a few seconds. The boy had another soccer shirt on, this one from a school. Her daughter eyed me like I was some abnormality. I was used to that though. Aside from being a gold star lesbian, I had worked with teenagers for most of my adult life. The look she gave me wasn't new.

The next day I was to drive Sam to practice. Abby went too. I was certain this was to help normalize me being around and doing all the driving. His practice was for soccer as I suspected. I smiled a little. Maybe I could end up working with him, that would at least give me something else to do. I missed coaching more than I had expected I would.

The rest of the week was more of the same. Abby's appointments during the day, Sam to and from practice most early evenings. Kris had her own car and didn't seem to be around anymore than absolutely necessary.

I was picking Sam up without Abby tonight. He ran towards the car, realized his mom wasn't in the front seat and jumped right in. Abby had already given me a heads up about him having a slight crush on me. I promised her it was nothing to worry about. He wasn't the first adolescent boy, or girl for that matter, to have a crush on me.

He started chattering away immediately. Nothing important at first but then he mentioned his dribbling and I offered to work with him.

"You know soccer?"

"I do. I played most of my life and in college and coached the girl's team at the school I used to teach at."

His eyes got huge as he smiled. In that moment I saw his mom, she had the exact same eyes. And her smile. "Cool. I forgot you used to be a teacher. That would be awesome if you wanted to help me. I really want to make Varsity next year."

We made plans to work together as soon as we both had time. Back at the house I got a loud goodbye from him as we both went our separate ways.
The weekend didn't work out for soccer help with Sam. Abby's grandk**s had both been there and that took up all their time. I listened as she played with them outside. Watched as she ran around the yard, her hair in the ponytail she always wore. Joy spread across her face as she interacted with the small k**s. I could almost feel the love they shared in the air.

She was attractive. She was nice. She was straight.

I needed to stop watching her.

The next week was very similar to the first week the k**s had been home. Now though, Abby rarely went when Sam had practice, but I did bring her to two games. She sat on the hill watching. He didn't play much. The first time I only caught glances of the game from the car. The second game, I made a point of parking where I could stand near the car and watch. He needed work on his dribbling just as he thought.

My eyes glanced at Abby a few times, sitting on the hill alone. She positioned herself so no one had to walk by her or her by them. I could see why other soccer moms thought she was a bitch. She held herself differently than they did. There was no self-doubt in her body language, no need to be seen or liked. It seemed every other mom was sitting on the sideline all huddled together, with their refillable water bottles that I doubted had water in them. She stuck out because she didn't join in.

She was watching her son when he did play. She was fully engrossed in being present for him. I smiled as I watched her. I thought she looked this way a few times, but it was hard to tell at this distance.

*****

ABBY

The last two weeks had flown by. It took Sam a few days to get used to Tasha driving. My k**s were teasing me less and less over this. Some of that may have been because Sam thought she was 'wicked cool'. Slowly we were all getting to know her more. I wanted another opportunity to sit and just drink coffee and talk to pop up, but it hadn't.

Sam's soccer games had begun, and I had to go play nice and support him. I didn't mind going and watching him, well watching the very few minutes of play he got. What I minded, was the moms, the ones who had more wine than water in those fancy cups.

I was well practiced at avoiding them. They all huddled together like their existence on this planet was solely based on proximity to each other. More time was spent sipping their 'water' and gossiping than actually watching their offspring play the game. They were there for show, not for their k**s.

Sam's first game, Tasha sat in the car. The second game, she stood outside of the car watching the game. I knew she used to coach soccer, maybe she was feeling nostalgic. I watched her and watched a lot of the dads watch her. Aside from being new, so foreign to them all, she was stunning without effort. That dark hair, creamy white skin and long lean athletic body. The confident way she held herself. I was getting used to the way she looked, she had been working for me for almost a month.

Jan stated more than once that she didn't even think Tasha knew how attractive she was. "Has she ever had a guy over? Or worn anything but jeans?" I didn't tell her she wore sweats when she was home, in the yard or on the walks I noticed she was taking most nights. More than once, I wanted to ask if I could join her. Especially since the day we talked for hours on the deck. We hadn't really spoken since then more than a few words here and there.

"I've never seen her have anyone over."

"Weird"

I disagreed with Jan. Tasha just seemed like a quiet private person. Even if she had someone she would want over, maybe it was just too soon for her. Maybe she was waiting until she had been living and working here longer.

**

It was Saturday and Jan was over. She had finally framed the vacation pictures and we were hanging them in my living-room. She was standing in the middle of the room, surveying the walls with the new prints on them. "This place is finally starting to look like a home Abby."

I agreed.

"Lunch?"

"Sure."

We made sandwiches and tea. Sam was home and like a well-trained hunting dog, the second the food was out of the fridge, he popped his head in looking for his share.

"Mom, are you going anywhere today?"

"Not that I know of. Why?"

"Tasha said she'd work on some soccer stuff with me if she didn't have to drive." He turned to look at Jan, "Aunt Jan, did you know she played soccer in college?"

Jan told him she did not. Then listened as he rambled on about her and soccer, all the while she was shooting me looks as he spoke. Lunch inhaled, Sam bolted to down the deck stairs, presumably to go get Tasha.

"Well, I think Sam has a slight crush on your driver Abs."

"No joke. He totally does. I've already spoken to him a few times about it." And I spoke to Tasha just to give her a heads up. I tried to make sure she knew she was under no obligation to spend her own time working on soccer or anything else with him.

Maybe I would have to reiterate that with her. That would be a good excuse to get to chat with her again.

Jan had finally stopped hassling me about having Tasha here, having a driver. Her current focus was on finding me dates. Yet another way to drive me bonkers.

"I'm not interested in a relationship yet Jan." I wasn't. Right now, I was more worried about getting to know myself again. Now that the k**s were older and didn't need me the same way and I wasn't in a marriage I didn't want to be in. I needed to figure out who I was now.

"Okay. So, no relationship. Then we just need to find you a quick fuck."

"Janice! Seriously." I glared at her.

She glared back. "Abigail."

"Not interested." I had done enough of the quick fuck stuff during my drinking years. There was nothing about that time in my life I wanted to revisit. Nothing.

Jan huffed at me, then her phone went off. "Well, looks like I'm needed back home."

I walked her out. A hug, an 'I love you' and a quick kiss on her cheek later, she drove away. Instead of going back inside, I followed the sounds of Sam and Tasha coming from the backyard. They were fully involved in some drills. Tasha was pushing Sam hard, but he was responding well. I had been watching for a few minutes before either noticed me. Sam yelled hey, Tasha gave me a smile. Her hair was shaggy today, I was used to seeing it neatly tucked behind her ears. There was no keeping it in place though, she was working as hard as Sam. Maybe harder. She moved with ease with the soccer ball. She had sweats and a t-shirt on, her usual hoodie was on the patio table.

I watched for a few more minutes, then took the stairs up to the deck and went inside. I made some lemonade and put a few snacks on a plate, grabbed cups and brought it all down to Sam and Tasha. There was a small table and chair set down on her patio and I placed it all on the table. It was barely down when Sam ran over.

"Thanks mom!" He downed a cup of lemonade and a granola bar before Tasha had made it over to the patio. He was pouring a second cup when I stopped him.

"Manners k**."

Mouth full of food, he mumbled sorry.

I poured Tasha a cup and handed it to her. Our hands touched briefly in the exchange. "Thanks. That k** has a lot of energy." She wasn't even breathing heavy. My own breathing had hitched slightly when I felt her hand. That was new.

Laughing I replied, "That he does. You weren't having any problems keeping up with him though."

"I'm going to feel it tomorrow. Getting old sucks." I watched as she tucked her hair behind her ears in an attempt to get it under control. I wanted to tell her I liked her hair all shaggy like that, but that felt like it would be inappropriate.

"That it does, good thing you're not old." I couldn't keep up with Sam when I was 39 never mind at almost 45.

"I feel 80 right now." Another laugh and attempt to get her hair to stay behind her ears.

"Tasha come on!"

She turned her head away from me and towards Sam. "Okay k** I'll be right there." Turning back to me, "thanks for the lemonade Abby." Her smile hit me and for a moment I was totally lost in it and her green eyes. It wasn't the first time she had smiled at me, but this one seemed different. It pulled at me. I stared at her for a moment too long. Then she turned and jogged back to Sam.

I left the lemonade and snacks on the table and went upstairs, unsure of what I had just experienced.

*****

TASHA

Shit. I knew the way I smiled at her was crossing a line, but she looked so good today and she brought down snacks. For Sam, but also for me. There was a brief second I thought she felt something too. I had to force myself back to Sam and soccer though. This wasn't a road I could go down. She's my boss, I live in her home and she's straight.

Sam didn't let me stay in my own head long. The next hour was spent working on more dribbling and shooting drills. He had a lot of promise, he just needed to put the time in. Based on today, I was confident he would. It felt great to be moving and working on soccer stuff again. My body would likely disagree come morning.

"Thanks Tasha!" Sam yelled as he started up the deck stairs.

Abby leaned over the railing and smiled, "Thanks for working with him Tasha."

I smiled at her, told her anytime then said good-night and went inside.

My sleep that night was the best I had had in weeks, maybe months. The next morning my muscles protested my movements, reminding me I wasn't a fifteen-year-old any longer, and that it had been too long since I had been active. It was time to adjust that.

I grabbed my phone and texted Abby to see if anything had changed in her plans for the day. She quickly texted me back no and was everything alright. I told her it was, I was just going to go for a run if she didn't need me. She didn't.

I laced up my sneakers and started out, suddenly extra glad I had been walking the neighborhood and could navigate it fairly well.

An hour later I was back and cooling down in the driveway. My run had been slow, but at least I had done it. I stretched and noticed Abby in her window watching me. I waved, then went into the apartment.

*****

ABBY

I turned from the window, from watching Tasha, with the sound of Sam's voice calling for me. Apparently he couldn't find his soccer cleats. "Maybe they are down on Tasha's patio. I'll be right back." He bolted out the door off the kitchen and down the stairs. I worried that once he saw her in her running gear his crush would grow even bigger.

A moment later he was back upstairs, cleats in hand. "They were. I think Tasha runs mom, didn't you used to run?"

So, he had seen her. I waited for the inappropriate comments, they didn't come. "Mom, didn't you used to run?"

"I did, a long time ago k**."

"Oh, well maybe you could start again and run with Tasha."

"Hum, maybe k**do."

Even if it hadn't been a decade since I had run, I doubted I could keep pace with her anyways. She was much more athletic than I have ever been.

Kris walked in and said something to Sam about moving a little quicker, she had plans after she dropped him and their stuff off home. She still called the old house home. I knew she didn't mean it any particular way; she had lived there for s*******n years and was still there half of her time. It still bothered me though. "Geez, did you see Tasha out there in her running gear? It's a good thing Sam knows she is completely unattainable now."

I looked at my daughter, who looked exactly like I did at s*******n, which scared the crap out of me. "What do you mean?"

She looked at me like I was stupid. "She's gay mom, how have you not figured that out yet? I knew the second I saw her. Sam! Let's go." She yelled to her brother then gave me a quick hug and a 'see ya in a few weeks'.

I stood there unable to move. Gay? Tasha? I couldn't wrap my head around that. I fixed myself a snack and went to make some tea.

No matter how I tried to distract myself, I couldn't get the image of Tasha in running leggings and a tank-top, stretching in the driveway, out of my head. Her hair had been the shaggiest I had ever seen it, a sheen of sweat glistened on her skin. Somehow, she was even more attractive than usual. How she had the ability to run after an afternoon of soccer with Sam yesterday, I didn't know.

I still hadn't rationalized her being gay. Maybe Kris was wrong.

Did it matter either way?

The house was already too quiet, and the k**s had just left. I was starting to get bored with all this free alone time. Worse, I only had one appointment all week so I wouldn't even get the break of leaving the house or chatting with Tasha much. I wanted to recreate the time we spent talking on the deck two weeks ago. I also wanted to know if my daughter was right.

Was it weird I wanted us to be friends? That I felt we could be? Was there some imaginary or not so imaginary line I shouldn't cross? Like, you can drive me places but nope, no having coffee and talking... was that a thing?

I needed a distraction and called Jan. No way I was telling her what Kris said though, Jan was too quick to judge at times.

"I need to find something to fill my time."

"I have two little girls I can drop off to you, if you are really that bored." The noise of the girls was loud and reminded me again of why I was glad my k**s were older. Although, I did sometimes miss them at those ages.

"Pass."

"Wow Abs." She paused long enough to yell at both girls to let her talk in peace.

"I love your k**s Jan, but I don't have the energy for them. Not for more than a few hours at a time. With a week break in between."

"Wuss."

"Yep."

"Volunteer at the k**'s school."

I nearly choked on the sip of tea I had just taken. "Are you actually being serious right now? Me, around the perfect little soccer moms? Yeah. That would go well."

"Well, you are technically a soccer mom Abby."

"Not willingly and you know that."

"I'm sure they will all fall over you to be your new bff if you showed up."

"Yeah, because now that I have money I am suddenly more likable and fit in with their plastic selves." I scoffed at my own words. Never once in the many years I had been a parent, had I ever fit in with the PTO/Soccer/Room helper moms. And I neither wanted to, nor cared that I didn't.

"Okay, then I don't know Abs. Start hiking? Or join a gym." She was laughing as she spoke.

"I quit with you Janice! It's like you don't even know me." It would be a cold day in hell that anyone found me hiking in the woods and gyms were full of people. I didn't like people. The feeling was usually mutual.

"Okay, so maybe find a cute personal trainer who will come to your house. Maybe that could check two boxes. Something and someone to do."

As she said that, the image of Tasha in her running clothes flitted into my brain and didn't leave. What was that about? "Seriously Jan?" Was all my distracted brain could manage to say to her.

"Seriously Abs."

"Sam said I should start running again." I didn't mention that Tasha seemed to be a runner.

"At forty-four years old? You haven't gone running since things started going down the shitter with you and Travis. Your lungs will explode."

"Thank-you for being so encouraging and supportive."

"I don't have time to visit you in the hospital Abigail. I have small c***dren I must keep alive. I can't be worrying about you dying while running alone on some deserted road."

Now the image of myself and Tasha running together entered my head. Again, I wondered what that was about, except maybe it was me telling myself to freaking go be an adult and talk to her. "Done. Bye Jan. I'll talk to you tomorrow."

"I'm just trying to help ya Abs. You asked!"

"Bye! Love you."

"Love you too. Bye...sleep well."

I shook my head as I ended the phone call. I loved the crap out of her but sometimes, she was too much.

Evening was setting in and I wanted some fresh air before calling it a night. The deck was the perfect spot. Out on it, I turned on the little propane tabletop fire feature that sat on the table. It added ambiance and some residual warmth. My red hydro flask water bottle sat next to it.

As I sat down, I pulled my hair out of the ponytail it was usually in and slipped the hair tie on my wrist. I heard the sliding glass doors downstairs open and close. Was Tasha going in or out? I wanted to go down the deck stairs and see. I wanted to sit and talk to her like we had two weeks ago.

Why couldn't we be friends? It made no sense to say we couldn't be. We obviously got along, had some shared interested and we were both spending a lot of time with nothing to do. Should I call down to her or go down there? Again, I found myself overthinking what should be a simple decision.

Before I could decide, I heard my name coming from her patio.

"Yeah?"

She didn't respond but I heard footsteps on the stairs. She was in sweats and a hoodie like the last time she had come up on my deck. Her dark hair was neatly tucked behind her ears which didn't have any earrings in them tonight, and she was smiling. Even in the haze of twilight I could see her bright green eyes.

"Hey. Is it okay if I come up?" She was three steps from standing on the actual deck. Waiting for me to give her permission. The oddness of that wasn't lost on me.

"Of course, it is." I patted the chair next to me for good measure. Picking the one that was the closest to mine.

She didn't move at first, then walked over and sat down, water bottle in her hands. "Gorgeous night."

I agreed.

I also wondered how she always managed to look gorgeous in sweats and a hoodie.

*****

TASHA

My body felt alive and happy, if that was a thing. The run did my mind good also. It was clearer than it had been in a long while. After a lengthy, hot shower and some dinner, I grabbed my water bottle and went outside to the patio. It didn't take me long to realize Abby was on the deck above me, I could see the light from the table top fire through the deck boards.

Her name escaped from my mouth without permission. She responded quickly. Then, almost on their own, my feet were walking up the stairs and I was asking for permission to join her. I was struck nearly speechless when I saw the light from the flames dancing across her face. Her hair was down. I had never seen it down. Shit, she was more than borderline adorable sitting there. She was nearly captivating.

It struck me that this might also be part of why the other soccer moms didn't like her. She didn't have to work to be beautiful, she just was. I had rarely seen her with more than mascara on. The longer I was here, the more attractive she seemed. She held herself differently than most women I knew.

Stop Tasha.

I sat down in the chair next to her, "Gorgeous night" coming out of my mouth. It had started off as simply 'gorgeous' and was directed at her, but I caught myself just in time to save face. I hoped. Her vanilla scent was hanging in the air around her, faint but there. She had the telltale reusable water bottle of soccer moms everywhere. I wondered if she was more like them than I had realized.

She quietly agreed. We sat, not speaking, for an eternity. It felt wholly weird, yet also not. Like we didn't need to fill the quiet with unnecessary words.

"How was your run?" She broke the silence first. She was facing me now, the flames still dancing over her face, bouncing off her eyes. It took me a moment to be able to reply.

"Good. It's been a long time since I ran. I'm sure I'll feel it tomorrow." I couldn't pull my eyes away from hers. There was no way she didn't notice. Then they went to the water bottle. That she for certain noticed.

"Kris bought me that, ironically she said. To match the other soccer moms. Sometimes she's more me than I am." She looked into the flames and continued speaking, "I haven't run in nearly a decade."
Abby stayed locked into the fire burning in front of her. I was locked into the fire slowly burning inside me, trying to figure out the right thing to say to her. She grabbed at the water bottle and took a sip. I was watching her lips, she noticed and said, "Unlike the other soccer moms, this is just water." And let out an uncomfortable laugh. One that told me there was more she wasn't saying.

"If you ever wanna run with me I'd be okay with that." That seemed okay to say. I would be more than okay with that.

She was facing me again. "I doubt I could keep up with you. You are in much better shape than I am." I swore her eyes flitted up and down me, but with the flames still dancing over us, it was hard to be certain.

"You look like you are in good shape Abby. You run around with your grandk**s and keep up just fine." Shit. I had just let on I watched her. I met her eyes for a sign I had stepped over a line.

She looked at me and went 'humpf' but said nothing. Her face was back to the flames. Many more minutes passed with us sitting in silence again.

"Maybe I'll take you up on that. If you don't mind going slow for this old lady."

Old? Did she really think she was old? "You are not old Abby. Nothing about you says 'old'. Nothing."

She laughed, "not even the grandk**s?" She was back looking at me.

"Nope." I doubted anyone that didn't know she had them, would ever look at her and guess she was old enough to be a grandmother, which she barely was.

"Maybe tomorrow?" She was back watching the flames. I was still watching her face.

"Sure. I'll probably be sore from today so going slower won't be an issue."

Still locked into the flames in front of her, she responded quietly, "If you think you'll be too sore we don't have to."

It didn't matter how sore I was. "We don't have to, but I would like to."

She turned to me and gave me a big smile. I couldn't help but smile just as big back. "It's a date then." The words were out of her mouth then her eyes changed. "I mean. Not a date but like, yeah let me try again." She took a flustered breath. "How's 7am tomorrow?"

Her adorableness just skyrocketed as I watched her get completely flustered for the first time since I had met her. " 7 sounds perfect Abby."

As I finished speaking she stood up and turned the flames off. Her face was instantly lost to me in the darkness. "If I'm going to be capable of anything in the morning I better get to bed. See you then Tasha."

I stood up and watched as she walked to the sliding glass door to her kitchen. She reached in and turned on the exterior light and her whole self was washed in the soft glow. She had leggings on, I hadn't noticed that in the small light of the flames. Nothing at all about her screamed old. What it screamed was hot. She was just ridiculously hot standing there.

Again, I stared at her a little too long before I caught myself. "Thanks for the light Abby. See you in the morning." I turned and went downstairs, went back into my own space, reminding myself she was straight with every step I took.