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My Life As a Cumdump - Part 1 of 4
I finally decided to write down my experiences as a cumpdump and share them with everyone here. I have been reading for a while, and it’s only fair to share, and I also hope my experiences, good and bad, can help someone who are new to this, and know that you and I – we are not alone.
Yes, I am definitely a pussyboi cumdump, but I am an owned cumdump. Matt is younger than me, and lives in the same apartment complex. Maybe I am just a faggot for him to use, a cum dump for him, but for me, he is like a god. I live to serve his sexual needs and to worship his cock. He not only controls my orgasms, but he defines my sexuality. I achieve sexual gratification though his cock and his cock alone.
It has been about 7 months since he started fucking me. Before him, I never did anything with a guy. I had a steady gf in high school, even though I thought I might be into guys too. It all started with us playing video games together, and I caught him beating off in his room one day when I tried to look for him for a MW3 session. He was just sitting there in his chair with his shirt off, his shorts around his ankles, eyes closed and jacking away. His dick was so big and beautiful and it really took my breath away. I could not stop staring even if I tried to. My dick is not small, it is about 8” and my gf used to love it, but it looks tiny compared to Matt’s tool. It is a little longer, but mostly it is almost as thick as my wrist. It is a true beer-can cock, and looks like a solid slab of pink white marble.
I don’t remember him forcing me and it just happened. One thing led to another, and I eventually found myself on my knees sucking my first cock. The taste, the smell, the warmth from his crotch, and heftiness of his balls, the hardness and perfect proportions of his cock, the hairs in his crotch, everything was so intoxicating for me. It was like an instant d**g, and I knew I would be an addict for life. He made me feel things I never felt with my gf. His cock, his balls, his crotch, well, his entire radiated pure masculinity. It was a very sexual and very commanding presence. It just made me want to submit to him, and want to get down on my knees to worship his huge fuck tool.
He is naturally dominant and aggressive. He told me I would always be his cock sucker after that first time, and since I swallowed his cum, and his sperm was inside me, he owned me. I could say nothing but to agree. Within 24 hours after sucking him off, he had forced his cock in my hole, and took my virginity. When he popped my cherry, he never asked me if I wanted it or that if I was ready. His cock was wet with my spit from my sucking, and he just sprung me around, yanked down my underwear and shoved it in it unceremoniously. At that time, my mind was still high from sucking him, and I just never expected it, and was certainly not ready for it. Of course, I had thought about getting fucked before, but always thought it would be very romantic, with lots of making out and preparation. I never thought I would lose my virginity just like that.
I was impaled on his cock, and all my senses were numb, except for pain. I yelled out but made no sound. One thing I didn’t do was to resist, maybe my mind already resigned to the fact the he owned me, maybe it’s because he was bigger and more muscular and had me pinned down. He balled up his dirty underwear to prevent me from screaming and proceed to ram his cock inside me. There was zero prep work whatsoever, and he was so fucking big! Many guys would say getting fucked was the best thing ever, but it did not happen for me that first time. I felt like I had an out of body experience, and could not recall other physical sensations except pain, which passed. I felt like an eternity until his cock head pushed inside me, and I was being stretched and stretched and stretched. I could not remember much else, finally I felt his cock pulsing inside me violently, and felt thick gooey liquid start to leak out of my hole, and I knew he was shooting inside me. It was not until he pulled out and stood in front of me did I realize he did not even wear any protection. What I thought or wanted never mattered to him. Just like that, his cock turned my ass into a pussy forever. He had turned me into a cumdump whether I liked it or not, like it was the most natural thing. And I knew with my hole permanently shaped by his cock and marked by his sperm, I would always be his bitch.
My Life As a Cumdump - Part 2 of 4
I got used to sucking Matt and even drinking his cum almost immediately. To me, worshipping his cock with my mouth in any way possible was the most natural thing to do. I never sucked anyone before him, but I never felt anything uncomfortable about it. Looking at him, looking at his big cock, I just wanted to drop to my knees and worship it. I can’t understand why I felt it that way, but I don’t really need an explanation. It just has this incredible hold on me that I cannot escape. If it means I will be a faggot and a cocksucker for the rest of my life, and give up any possibility of having any other way of life (I always thought I might be bi before, and it is laughable to think that now), so be it. Every time I suck his cock, I experience this rush and thrill that I never experienced by myself or with any one.
Drinking his cum also came naturally (LOL, I like how that sounded). The first time he shot in my mouth there was so much cum and I was not prepared for it. He did not even bother to tell me he was cumming and just did it, and expected I would take it. It was a small miracle that I managed to keep most of it in my mouth. I swallowed out the need to prevent myself from choking as more was gushing into my mouth. It was warm, rich, and my body had no problem with the smell or taste. I still couldn’t believe I did it just like that, I took me like 2 months to get my gf in highschool to do it for me and it was so much damn work to convince her to do it! And there I was swallowing his nut the first time he used my mouth. And he didn’t even have to say a word, or do anything, he just expected his bitch to do it, and I did. He is cocky arrogant fucker in every way and I suspected he expects the same thing from his gfs too.
My one regret is that I can’t deep throat him. It is not because of the lack of trying, he is just too big. At the beginning, there was once I tried to take more than half of his cock into my throat and ended up choking and throwing up. He just laughed at me and slapped my face with his cock and told me his gf could do it better than me. That burned, more than the slaps to my face, which left red cock marks all over.
Even though I tried to practice every chance I got, I was never good enough, and in fact, I did not get to spend nearly as much time sucking him as I wanted. If sucking him was my favorite thing in the world, it was not his. In my dreams, I would spend hours and days sucking him J, but in reality, he rarely let me suck him for more than a few minutes. It could be because of my lack of sucking skills was never satisfying to him or he just loved fucking more than anything, but whenever I suck him, he always ended up shoving his cock in my boicunt and fucking me senseless.
Matt told me once he knocked up two girls, probably in high school. We never really talked about it, but I think that’s one of the reasons he likes to fuck me so much. If I had been one of his girls, I would have been pregnant for sure after the first time he fucked me. Those big bull balls of his shot so much cum into me that I had to change three pairs of underwear afterwards. With me, he could fuck me all he wanted and never have to worry about anything. Also, since we live in the same apartment, each having our own rooms, it made sex a lot easier. Whenever he wants me, he would text me “my room, now” and I would drop everything and go to his room, knowing that I would end up getting fucked like a bitch.
It took me a long time to get used to be fucked by him. I didn’t immediately start to like it after the first time, or the first many times. The fact is he is just too big, and he fucks rough. If I was not a newbie, I might have been able to handle it better, but since I never got fucked before, that first time actually made me scared of getting fucked. I was sore for a long time and had to stay at home the next day because I really could not even walk to school. Standing or lying on my back was difficult too. I remember this throbbing and pulsing sensation in my hole, like I had been poked by a red hot poker. Even after one day, I could still feel the impression that his cock left inside me. I popped quite a few tablets of Tylenol. The morning of the third day, he came to my room and said he needed to fuck me again and could not wait any more. What I did? I got on my stomach for him. Was I crazy? Maybe. But I didn’t resist him the first time, and now that he had fucked me and I had taken his cum in my mouth and ass, how could I ever say no to him? Later I thought about it in an attempt to rationale it. For me, having a guy ram his fuck tool inside your boihole and use you in a way that a man uses his bitch, and finally taking his nut in your deflowered boipussy, is the ultimate form of submission. I could not imagine another way a guy can submit to another guy that could be deeper. Getting fucked was not my favorite thing, but it did not matter, what I wanted did not matter. It’s all about what my owner wanted. That first time, I submitted to him physically, but the second time, I submitted to him mentally. He was the first guy ever to fuck me, he made me into a pussyboi cumdump, and a part of him will always be with me, like an internal branding. I knew he owned me.
Since I accepted Matt owned my boicunt, I knew he would fuck me whenever he wanted, whether I liked it or not. I would always get hard whenever I suck my owner, it was just the most erotic thing for me, but for a long time, I just endured his rough fucks. I would immediately lose my erection whenever he fucked me. But there was one day I was taking a hard pounding from him and biting down on his balled up dirty socks or underwear and suddenly realized I was not overwhelmed by the feeling pain, but a different, intense feeling. Indescribable. And I realized that I was rock hard.
I still wince every time Matt enters me, even after all this time. The feeling I get when his large cockhead breaks through the narrow part of my boipussy always reminds me of my first time, but I have learned to control the panic feeling as if my world would be split into two. We never really talked about sex much, although I did ask him once why he wanted to fuck me. He told me that I sucked his cock, and I was definitely a faggot and all faggots take it up the ass. He needed to fuck all the time and I was available. Simple as that. I think about all this stuff a lot, but maybe it was truly that simple. I had thought the way he fucked me the first time was almost cruel, but he is a straight guy, and although he knew fags like me gets fucked, he did not know much about gay sex or how it should be. He was simply treating me as his girl and my ass as his pussy.
[Thanks for posting, bro, and thanks for all the feedback, and reblogs. You guys are awesome! It also made me feel I am not alone. Writing is certainly not my favorite thing, LOL, somehow I felt compelled to get all this out there. I have not seen Matt for two months during the summer, and I miss him very much, mentally and physically, that should be pretty obvious. Writing this down actually helps me deals with it. Since I am no writer, all this might be a bit random, as I have no direction and organization. I had two months to relive and reflect on a lot of what happened, and I have a lot more things I can write about. And I will certainly write more as long as there is interest.]
My Life As a Cumdump - Part 3 of 4
My life down the road of becoming a total pussyboi cumdump for Matt started with me sucking him and swallowing his cum, then having my anal virginity taken by him, roughly, and raw. But it did not stop there. It took me a long time to get used to be fucked by him, but it was not long before I realized I was turning more and more into a true bitch for him.
I started to shave my hair for him only after he had fucked me a few times. One day after he fucked me he just told me that he wanted my hole to be totally smooth, and as a matter of fact, he wanted me to be hairless from my waist down, because he “liked to fuck a smooth pussy” and all his bitches did it for him. There I was, just one of his bitches! I was a little stunned. How? Why? WTF? But with my ass so raw and so sore and so full of his sperm, and my mouth gaged, all I could do was to nod in submission. What choice did I really have? Well, I could tell him to go to hell, and forget the whole thing, but I could never say no to him. If he walked into my room and dropped his pants, I would be on knees in a second. A part of me had already accepted that he owned me and I must obey him.
I was pretty smooth to start with. Around my hole was pretty easy to shave and soon I was totally smooth there, but shaving around my cock and balls was a big deal. I was pretty proud of my happy trail, and I struggled mentally about shaving it off. I asked Matt specifically if he wanted me to shave down there too, he just said “hell yeah” like I was the dumbest bitch. I nearly cried when I did it, knowing I would never be a real man again after that (well, it is funny to remember how I felt, in reality I would never be after he fucked me for the first time and claimed my boipussy.) But somehow I didn’t have a choice when getting fucked, he just did it, and this, I had to make a conscious choice and decision. Losing my cock and ball hair felt worse than losing my virginity.
After all that, the next time he fucked me, he did not mention my smooth hole or hairless crotch, he did not even seem to have noticed it at all! But from that day on, I kept myself clean and smooth, and got into a habit of shaving myself (which eventually meant I could no longer shower in the school gym), and I kept it up even during the summer when he was not here. I don’t know, a part of me just wanted to obey him. There were times when I was with him and I would be on my knees sucking on his huge pole, and my face would be tickled by the thick hair on his balls and his cock, and I’d realize this was a real man’s cock, and this cock owned my mouth and my boicunt. I could look down easily and see my totally smooth crotch, and get washed over by waves of shame, humiliation, and strangely, more eagerness to worship my owner’s cock. It probably never occurred to him, but I guess as long as I keep my crotch and hole smooth, it is a constant reminder to me of his power over me and that I am his bitch and cumdump.
That was not all and was just the beginning. Soon enough I totally lost my sexual identity as a guy. Before Matt made me into his cumdump, I used to jack off a couple of times a day, sometimes more. I don’t think I am a freak in that regard, LOL, as I know lots of guys do that. Matt put a stop to that quickly. It was partly my own fault. I told you guys how I liked sucking his cock almost immediately, and almost always got hard while sucking him. Well, this once, when I was sucking him, I got a huge boner. That particular time, he had fucked me a while ago, so I didn’t have my boxer briefs on to restrain my own cock. So I reached down and started to stroke myself, thinking nothing of it. He didn’t notice it at first, but he finally did, as maybe my sucking got out of rhythm or I bit him unintentionally. To this day, I don’t even know what happened. He was damn mad! He smacked the side of my head and asked me what the fucked I thought I was doing. I had never seen him that mad before (or since). I got red faced, and when I am like that, it’s hard for me to say anything. And I had spit running down my chin from sucking him a moment ago, what could I say? He yelled at me and said I was a stupidest bitch, and he did not want to see me jerking my stupid cock in front of him ever. He did not stop there, he then said, he did not want me to cum ever, a bitch like me had no right to cum!
I really did cry that time. I was still on my knees, and this guy, who owned me and my body, and whose cock I worshipped, just basically told me I was worthless, and no one had ever talked to me that harshly before. I felt so small, so humiliated. I wanted to disappear. I could run, but where would I go? I could say, “you know what, f u, I am not doing it!” but I had no such power. Just a month ago, we were totally buds and played video games together all the time, and now I was reduced to his lowest bitch and a receptacle for his cock and his cum. I could not know what he was thinking, maybe he was just really turned off by the sight of a guy beating his cock. He either didn’t notice me crying or just ignored me. He was not done with me though, as he was still hard. He dragged me over to the bed side and pushed my chest down onto the bed and just rammed into me, again. His fucks were always rough, but that day (well, the second time that day) was particularly so. I guess he was just angry and wanted to get his aggression out by fucking me. At one point, he just grabbed a handful of my hair and yanked my head back, and yelled at me in my ear while pounding me “NO-FUCKING-CUM-EVER-BITCH-I-WANT-U-TO-ALWAYS-FUCKING-REMEMBER-THAT-U-ARE-MY-FUCKING-HO!!!!!” He was like a total a****l when he fucked me, so much force, and I felt my body shaking, and I knew my boipussy was torn for sure. But he was not satisfied, if anything, the wild and rough fucking made him more aggressive. After he shot his heavy load inside me, he pulled out of me with a loud pop and slapped my face and told me “OPEN”, then without another word stuck his cum covered cock into my mouth. That was my first ass-to-mouth, but not my last. That fuck that day, was more memorable to me than my first time (I couldn’t remember the actual fuck the first time) as I had several firsts that day, and it also the last time I got to beat of my own cock.
[Damn, it was emotionally exhausting too to relive this experience in writing, so I have to stop here. Just know that I did it for you guys! J You know that I can’t beat off so it is not for my own pleasure. For the real men out there, hope you enjoy it, and for other cumdumps like me, I know our experiences may not be exactly the same, but I am sure there are similarities. Maybe you can share your experiences with the rest of as well J For other would-be cumdumps, well, just know that it may not be the easiest road, but I am living proof even when you have a rough beginning, it is possible for you to embrace it in the end, and find fulfillment in serving your purpose. Just hang in there, bros!]
My Life As a Cumdump - Part 4 of 4
I had initially wanted to write about my life as a cumdump from how it happened to the present day, including all the things my owner and I did together that were memorable, but I found out that I really suck at writing, LOL. Well, school has started, Matt is back after the long summer, so I have less time to write in any case. Here is a summary of my life as a cumdump now, and I will try to come back at a later date and write more of my experiences in detail.
1) Matt has a key to my room, so he can come and use me whenever he wants. Most of the times if he really wanted to use me, he’d call me to his room, but other times, he would just walk in and fuck me. We had gotten to a point where all he had to do was walk in, point to the floor in front of him and I would drop to my knees. One day, I was on the phone with my Mom and Matt came in and yanked down my shorts and underwear and bent me over the desk and rammed his cock inside me before I realized what was happening and before I could hang up the phone! Occasionally I would wake up in the middle of the night with a sharp pain in my ass and him on top of me. I usually feel so cheap to be used like that, but a part of me is happy that I can offer my owner some relief in the middle of the night like that.
2) Matt has fucked me in so many different positions - bent over various objects, against the wall, and when he was super aggressive, he likes to lift me up and ram into me with my body suspended in the air, in his arms. He also likes to lift me up and move me around to new places with his cock still inside me. He is such a fucking alpha male, and the fact that he could do that to me with ease makes me feel like I am totally his bitch. He loves to be in control, and doggie style was his favorite. Pure need and instincts, no gentleness, no apologies, no reservations, no slowing down, no pullout, just a real man using his bitch.
3) I drink Matt’s piss whenever he wants me to. Not every time he fucks me, but more often than not. He does everything on impulse, so I never know what to expect. The first time I did it was another story worth telling, but like most of the things he did to me, he never talked about it or asked me, and just told me to open my mouth, and expected me to drink down his piss without missing a drop and without any questions asked. And of course I did.
4) I shave my cock, balls, and hole totally clean, every day. I am not allowed to beat off, ever, even if I get hard. I chose to obey, not out of fear, but the alternative is unthinkable. I was on the brink of going insane because of sexual frustrations until I read online about chastity devices. And it helped a lot. I would not have survived this summer without my CB-6000. The thing is, he probably wouldn’t give a fuck even if he knew I had to go to such extremes in order to obey his commands. Also, he probably would never find out if I disobeyed. But I would never be able to disobey him. He owned my mouth, ass and whole body, and my sexuality belongs to him. It took me about 4 months to get used to live in this way. But in a way, it is simpler. I don’t have to get distracted by the urges of my cock. I still think about sex a lot during the day, but if I am using CB-6000 (not with him around though), I don’t have to worry about my needs, and all my thoughts would be about my owner and his cock and his needs, and it makes me look forward so much more towards each time he fucks me. The need for him to use me grows exponentially each second that I passes.
5) The feelings I experience when my owner floods my pussy with his cum is indescribable. It is a mental high like nothing else I can experience, but it is a physical high too. That’s a real orgasm for a pussyboi cumdump. I love going to my classes carrying my owner’s sperm inside me and feeling it slowly leak out of my boipussy all day. I also like the second or third fuck in a day, when I already had a load of his cum inside me. It makes the entry so much easier. The sound it makes when I already had a load inside me was almost obscene, and so fucking loud. I have learned the pain I experienced while the girth of my owner’s cock reamed me out is a gift. I feel utterly submissive, but also feel alive, and needed. I am now addicted to getting fucked, craving the pain and intensity I can only feel when my owner’s cock is inside me.
6) Matt is the only one who fucks me. And from all that I know, I am the only guy he fucks. He fucks me because he has such a torrential sex drive and I am a convenient outlet. Matt told me he never wanted to have to jack off ever again, and in a way, I am proud to be that cumdump that he needs. He fucks other girls, I knew three, and I have tasted all their pussies on his cock before. I certainly have considered the risks. But the things is, I can never ask him to get tested or ask him to wear a condom. He would always fuck me however he chooses to fuck me. My virginity and my boicunt belong to him, with no turning back, so if he wants me to be a cumdump for him, that’s what I will be. I want to feel his raw fuck tool claiming me as his over and over again, and want to feel him shooting his burning hot cum deep inside me, breeding me. I wouldn’t want to have it any other way.
7) Matt loves to use me ass-to-mouth. He did it out of anger the first time, but it grew to be his favorite way to use me. He expects me to clean his cock every time he fucks me now, but he also thinks of new way to fuck me. He would cum inside me and make me click his cock clean, then slam his still hard cock inside me and pull out again and make me lick him clean again, over and over. He would position me on a chair, and fuck me a few strokes in my ass and a few in my mouth. And I do it all for my owner, not just out of obedience, but also respect and gratitude.
8) Matt fucks me sometimes three to four times a day, sometimes he would be with a girl and not fuck me at all for a couple of days. These days are the hardest for me because I would feel anxious, empty and without focus. Matt would text me at random times, and I would drop everything, even skipping classes to be used by him. When Matts fucks me, I could not think of anything else, but his giant cock inside me. He became the center of my universe. I would feel stretched to the limit, sometimes, feeling the sensation of being torn apart, but also feel so full, like a huge void inside me is finally being filled. His strong body pounding hard away at my hole would now give me such a rush. And most of times, I stay hard throughout the fucking, simply knowing that my owner is using me.
I finally decided to write down my experiences as a cumpdump and share them with everyone here. I have been reading for a while, and it’s only fair to share, and I also hope my experiences, good and bad, can help someone who are new to this, and know that you and I – we are not alone.
Yes, I am definitely a pussyboi cumdump, but I am an owned cumdump. Matt is younger than me, and lives in the same apartment complex. Maybe I am just a faggot for him to use, a cum dump for him, but for me, he is like a god. I live to serve his sexual needs and to worship his cock. He not only controls my orgasms, but he defines my sexuality. I achieve sexual gratification though his cock and his cock alone.
It has been about 7 months since he started fucking me. Before him, I never did anything with a guy. I had a steady gf in high school, even though I thought I might be into guys too. It all started with us playing video games together, and I caught him beating off in his room one day when I tried to look for him for a MW3 session. He was just sitting there in his chair with his shirt off, his shorts around his ankles, eyes closed and jacking away. His dick was so big and beautiful and it really took my breath away. I could not stop staring even if I tried to. My dick is not small, it is about 8” and my gf used to love it, but it looks tiny compared to Matt’s tool. It is a little longer, but mostly it is almost as thick as my wrist. It is a true beer-can cock, and looks like a solid slab of pink white marble.
I don’t remember him forcing me and it just happened. One thing led to another, and I eventually found myself on my knees sucking my first cock. The taste, the smell, the warmth from his crotch, and heftiness of his balls, the hardness and perfect proportions of his cock, the hairs in his crotch, everything was so intoxicating for me. It was like an instant d**g, and I knew I would be an addict for life. He made me feel things I never felt with my gf. His cock, his balls, his crotch, well, his entire radiated pure masculinity. It was a very sexual and very commanding presence. It just made me want to submit to him, and want to get down on my knees to worship his huge fuck tool.
He is naturally dominant and aggressive. He told me I would always be his cock sucker after that first time, and since I swallowed his cum, and his sperm was inside me, he owned me. I could say nothing but to agree. Within 24 hours after sucking him off, he had forced his cock in my hole, and took my virginity. When he popped my cherry, he never asked me if I wanted it or that if I was ready. His cock was wet with my spit from my sucking, and he just sprung me around, yanked down my underwear and shoved it in it unceremoniously. At that time, my mind was still high from sucking him, and I just never expected it, and was certainly not ready for it. Of course, I had thought about getting fucked before, but always thought it would be very romantic, with lots of making out and preparation. I never thought I would lose my virginity just like that.
I was impaled on his cock, and all my senses were numb, except for pain. I yelled out but made no sound. One thing I didn’t do was to resist, maybe my mind already resigned to the fact the he owned me, maybe it’s because he was bigger and more muscular and had me pinned down. He balled up his dirty underwear to prevent me from screaming and proceed to ram his cock inside me. There was zero prep work whatsoever, and he was so fucking big! Many guys would say getting fucked was the best thing ever, but it did not happen for me that first time. I felt like I had an out of body experience, and could not recall other physical sensations except pain, which passed. I felt like an eternity until his cock head pushed inside me, and I was being stretched and stretched and stretched. I could not remember much else, finally I felt his cock pulsing inside me violently, and felt thick gooey liquid start to leak out of my hole, and I knew he was shooting inside me. It was not until he pulled out and stood in front of me did I realize he did not even wear any protection. What I thought or wanted never mattered to him. Just like that, his cock turned my ass into a pussy forever. He had turned me into a cumdump whether I liked it or not, like it was the most natural thing. And I knew with my hole permanently shaped by his cock and marked by his sperm, I would always be his bitch.
My Life As a Cumdump - Part 2 of 4
I got used to sucking Matt and even drinking his cum almost immediately. To me, worshipping his cock with my mouth in any way possible was the most natural thing to do. I never sucked anyone before him, but I never felt anything uncomfortable about it. Looking at him, looking at his big cock, I just wanted to drop to my knees and worship it. I can’t understand why I felt it that way, but I don’t really need an explanation. It just has this incredible hold on me that I cannot escape. If it means I will be a faggot and a cocksucker for the rest of my life, and give up any possibility of having any other way of life (I always thought I might be bi before, and it is laughable to think that now), so be it. Every time I suck his cock, I experience this rush and thrill that I never experienced by myself or with any one.
Drinking his cum also came naturally (LOL, I like how that sounded). The first time he shot in my mouth there was so much cum and I was not prepared for it. He did not even bother to tell me he was cumming and just did it, and expected I would take it. It was a small miracle that I managed to keep most of it in my mouth. I swallowed out the need to prevent myself from choking as more was gushing into my mouth. It was warm, rich, and my body had no problem with the smell or taste. I still couldn’t believe I did it just like that, I took me like 2 months to get my gf in highschool to do it for me and it was so much damn work to convince her to do it! And there I was swallowing his nut the first time he used my mouth. And he didn’t even have to say a word, or do anything, he just expected his bitch to do it, and I did. He is cocky arrogant fucker in every way and I suspected he expects the same thing from his gfs too.
My one regret is that I can’t deep throat him. It is not because of the lack of trying, he is just too big. At the beginning, there was once I tried to take more than half of his cock into my throat and ended up choking and throwing up. He just laughed at me and slapped my face with his cock and told me his gf could do it better than me. That burned, more than the slaps to my face, which left red cock marks all over.
Even though I tried to practice every chance I got, I was never good enough, and in fact, I did not get to spend nearly as much time sucking him as I wanted. If sucking him was my favorite thing in the world, it was not his. In my dreams, I would spend hours and days sucking him J, but in reality, he rarely let me suck him for more than a few minutes. It could be because of my lack of sucking skills was never satisfying to him or he just loved fucking more than anything, but whenever I suck him, he always ended up shoving his cock in my boicunt and fucking me senseless.
Matt told me once he knocked up two girls, probably in high school. We never really talked about it, but I think that’s one of the reasons he likes to fuck me so much. If I had been one of his girls, I would have been pregnant for sure after the first time he fucked me. Those big bull balls of his shot so much cum into me that I had to change three pairs of underwear afterwards. With me, he could fuck me all he wanted and never have to worry about anything. Also, since we live in the same apartment, each having our own rooms, it made sex a lot easier. Whenever he wants me, he would text me “my room, now” and I would drop everything and go to his room, knowing that I would end up getting fucked like a bitch.
It took me a long time to get used to be fucked by him. I didn’t immediately start to like it after the first time, or the first many times. The fact is he is just too big, and he fucks rough. If I was not a newbie, I might have been able to handle it better, but since I never got fucked before, that first time actually made me scared of getting fucked. I was sore for a long time and had to stay at home the next day because I really could not even walk to school. Standing or lying on my back was difficult too. I remember this throbbing and pulsing sensation in my hole, like I had been poked by a red hot poker. Even after one day, I could still feel the impression that his cock left inside me. I popped quite a few tablets of Tylenol. The morning of the third day, he came to my room and said he needed to fuck me again and could not wait any more. What I did? I got on my stomach for him. Was I crazy? Maybe. But I didn’t resist him the first time, and now that he had fucked me and I had taken his cum in my mouth and ass, how could I ever say no to him? Later I thought about it in an attempt to rationale it. For me, having a guy ram his fuck tool inside your boihole and use you in a way that a man uses his bitch, and finally taking his nut in your deflowered boipussy, is the ultimate form of submission. I could not imagine another way a guy can submit to another guy that could be deeper. Getting fucked was not my favorite thing, but it did not matter, what I wanted did not matter. It’s all about what my owner wanted. That first time, I submitted to him physically, but the second time, I submitted to him mentally. He was the first guy ever to fuck me, he made me into a pussyboi cumdump, and a part of him will always be with me, like an internal branding. I knew he owned me.
Since I accepted Matt owned my boicunt, I knew he would fuck me whenever he wanted, whether I liked it or not. I would always get hard whenever I suck my owner, it was just the most erotic thing for me, but for a long time, I just endured his rough fucks. I would immediately lose my erection whenever he fucked me. But there was one day I was taking a hard pounding from him and biting down on his balled up dirty socks or underwear and suddenly realized I was not overwhelmed by the feeling pain, but a different, intense feeling. Indescribable. And I realized that I was rock hard.
I still wince every time Matt enters me, even after all this time. The feeling I get when his large cockhead breaks through the narrow part of my boipussy always reminds me of my first time, but I have learned to control the panic feeling as if my world would be split into two. We never really talked about sex much, although I did ask him once why he wanted to fuck me. He told me that I sucked his cock, and I was definitely a faggot and all faggots take it up the ass. He needed to fuck all the time and I was available. Simple as that. I think about all this stuff a lot, but maybe it was truly that simple. I had thought the way he fucked me the first time was almost cruel, but he is a straight guy, and although he knew fags like me gets fucked, he did not know much about gay sex or how it should be. He was simply treating me as his girl and my ass as his pussy.
[Thanks for posting, bro, and thanks for all the feedback, and reblogs. You guys are awesome! It also made me feel I am not alone. Writing is certainly not my favorite thing, LOL, somehow I felt compelled to get all this out there. I have not seen Matt for two months during the summer, and I miss him very much, mentally and physically, that should be pretty obvious. Writing this down actually helps me deals with it. Since I am no writer, all this might be a bit random, as I have no direction and organization. I had two months to relive and reflect on a lot of what happened, and I have a lot more things I can write about. And I will certainly write more as long as there is interest.]
My Life As a Cumdump - Part 3 of 4
My life down the road of becoming a total pussyboi cumdump for Matt started with me sucking him and swallowing his cum, then having my anal virginity taken by him, roughly, and raw. But it did not stop there. It took me a long time to get used to be fucked by him, but it was not long before I realized I was turning more and more into a true bitch for him.
I started to shave my hair for him only after he had fucked me a few times. One day after he fucked me he just told me that he wanted my hole to be totally smooth, and as a matter of fact, he wanted me to be hairless from my waist down, because he “liked to fuck a smooth pussy” and all his bitches did it for him. There I was, just one of his bitches! I was a little stunned. How? Why? WTF? But with my ass so raw and so sore and so full of his sperm, and my mouth gaged, all I could do was to nod in submission. What choice did I really have? Well, I could tell him to go to hell, and forget the whole thing, but I could never say no to him. If he walked into my room and dropped his pants, I would be on knees in a second. A part of me had already accepted that he owned me and I must obey him.
I was pretty smooth to start with. Around my hole was pretty easy to shave and soon I was totally smooth there, but shaving around my cock and balls was a big deal. I was pretty proud of my happy trail, and I struggled mentally about shaving it off. I asked Matt specifically if he wanted me to shave down there too, he just said “hell yeah” like I was the dumbest bitch. I nearly cried when I did it, knowing I would never be a real man again after that (well, it is funny to remember how I felt, in reality I would never be after he fucked me for the first time and claimed my boipussy.) But somehow I didn’t have a choice when getting fucked, he just did it, and this, I had to make a conscious choice and decision. Losing my cock and ball hair felt worse than losing my virginity.
After all that, the next time he fucked me, he did not mention my smooth hole or hairless crotch, he did not even seem to have noticed it at all! But from that day on, I kept myself clean and smooth, and got into a habit of shaving myself (which eventually meant I could no longer shower in the school gym), and I kept it up even during the summer when he was not here. I don’t know, a part of me just wanted to obey him. There were times when I was with him and I would be on my knees sucking on his huge pole, and my face would be tickled by the thick hair on his balls and his cock, and I’d realize this was a real man’s cock, and this cock owned my mouth and my boicunt. I could look down easily and see my totally smooth crotch, and get washed over by waves of shame, humiliation, and strangely, more eagerness to worship my owner’s cock. It probably never occurred to him, but I guess as long as I keep my crotch and hole smooth, it is a constant reminder to me of his power over me and that I am his bitch and cumdump.
That was not all and was just the beginning. Soon enough I totally lost my sexual identity as a guy. Before Matt made me into his cumdump, I used to jack off a couple of times a day, sometimes more. I don’t think I am a freak in that regard, LOL, as I know lots of guys do that. Matt put a stop to that quickly. It was partly my own fault. I told you guys how I liked sucking his cock almost immediately, and almost always got hard while sucking him. Well, this once, when I was sucking him, I got a huge boner. That particular time, he had fucked me a while ago, so I didn’t have my boxer briefs on to restrain my own cock. So I reached down and started to stroke myself, thinking nothing of it. He didn’t notice it at first, but he finally did, as maybe my sucking got out of rhythm or I bit him unintentionally. To this day, I don’t even know what happened. He was damn mad! He smacked the side of my head and asked me what the fucked I thought I was doing. I had never seen him that mad before (or since). I got red faced, and when I am like that, it’s hard for me to say anything. And I had spit running down my chin from sucking him a moment ago, what could I say? He yelled at me and said I was a stupidest bitch, and he did not want to see me jerking my stupid cock in front of him ever. He did not stop there, he then said, he did not want me to cum ever, a bitch like me had no right to cum!
I really did cry that time. I was still on my knees, and this guy, who owned me and my body, and whose cock I worshipped, just basically told me I was worthless, and no one had ever talked to me that harshly before. I felt so small, so humiliated. I wanted to disappear. I could run, but where would I go? I could say, “you know what, f u, I am not doing it!” but I had no such power. Just a month ago, we were totally buds and played video games together all the time, and now I was reduced to his lowest bitch and a receptacle for his cock and his cum. I could not know what he was thinking, maybe he was just really turned off by the sight of a guy beating his cock. He either didn’t notice me crying or just ignored me. He was not done with me though, as he was still hard. He dragged me over to the bed side and pushed my chest down onto the bed and just rammed into me, again. His fucks were always rough, but that day (well, the second time that day) was particularly so. I guess he was just angry and wanted to get his aggression out by fucking me. At one point, he just grabbed a handful of my hair and yanked my head back, and yelled at me in my ear while pounding me “NO-FUCKING-CUM-EVER-BITCH-I-WANT-U-TO-ALWAYS-FUCKING-REMEMBER-THAT-U-ARE-MY-FUCKING-HO!!!!!” He was like a total a****l when he fucked me, so much force, and I felt my body shaking, and I knew my boipussy was torn for sure. But he was not satisfied, if anything, the wild and rough fucking made him more aggressive. After he shot his heavy load inside me, he pulled out of me with a loud pop and slapped my face and told me “OPEN”, then without another word stuck his cum covered cock into my mouth. That was my first ass-to-mouth, but not my last. That fuck that day, was more memorable to me than my first time (I couldn’t remember the actual fuck the first time) as I had several firsts that day, and it also the last time I got to beat of my own cock.
[Damn, it was emotionally exhausting too to relive this experience in writing, so I have to stop here. Just know that I did it for you guys! J You know that I can’t beat off so it is not for my own pleasure. For the real men out there, hope you enjoy it, and for other cumdumps like me, I know our experiences may not be exactly the same, but I am sure there are similarities. Maybe you can share your experiences with the rest of as well J For other would-be cumdumps, well, just know that it may not be the easiest road, but I am living proof even when you have a rough beginning, it is possible for you to embrace it in the end, and find fulfillment in serving your purpose. Just hang in there, bros!]
My Life As a Cumdump - Part 4 of 4
I had initially wanted to write about my life as a cumdump from how it happened to the present day, including all the things my owner and I did together that were memorable, but I found out that I really suck at writing, LOL. Well, school has started, Matt is back after the long summer, so I have less time to write in any case. Here is a summary of my life as a cumdump now, and I will try to come back at a later date and write more of my experiences in detail.
1) Matt has a key to my room, so he can come and use me whenever he wants. Most of the times if he really wanted to use me, he’d call me to his room, but other times, he would just walk in and fuck me. We had gotten to a point where all he had to do was walk in, point to the floor in front of him and I would drop to my knees. One day, I was on the phone with my Mom and Matt came in and yanked down my shorts and underwear and bent me over the desk and rammed his cock inside me before I realized what was happening and before I could hang up the phone! Occasionally I would wake up in the middle of the night with a sharp pain in my ass and him on top of me. I usually feel so cheap to be used like that, but a part of me is happy that I can offer my owner some relief in the middle of the night like that.
2) Matt has fucked me in so many different positions - bent over various objects, against the wall, and when he was super aggressive, he likes to lift me up and ram into me with my body suspended in the air, in his arms. He also likes to lift me up and move me around to new places with his cock still inside me. He is such a fucking alpha male, and the fact that he could do that to me with ease makes me feel like I am totally his bitch. He loves to be in control, and doggie style was his favorite. Pure need and instincts, no gentleness, no apologies, no reservations, no slowing down, no pullout, just a real man using his bitch.
3) I drink Matt’s piss whenever he wants me to. Not every time he fucks me, but more often than not. He does everything on impulse, so I never know what to expect. The first time I did it was another story worth telling, but like most of the things he did to me, he never talked about it or asked me, and just told me to open my mouth, and expected me to drink down his piss without missing a drop and without any questions asked. And of course I did.
4) I shave my cock, balls, and hole totally clean, every day. I am not allowed to beat off, ever, even if I get hard. I chose to obey, not out of fear, but the alternative is unthinkable. I was on the brink of going insane because of sexual frustrations until I read online about chastity devices. And it helped a lot. I would not have survived this summer without my CB-6000. The thing is, he probably wouldn’t give a fuck even if he knew I had to go to such extremes in order to obey his commands. Also, he probably would never find out if I disobeyed. But I would never be able to disobey him. He owned my mouth, ass and whole body, and my sexuality belongs to him. It took me about 4 months to get used to live in this way. But in a way, it is simpler. I don’t have to get distracted by the urges of my cock. I still think about sex a lot during the day, but if I am using CB-6000 (not with him around though), I don’t have to worry about my needs, and all my thoughts would be about my owner and his cock and his needs, and it makes me look forward so much more towards each time he fucks me. The need for him to use me grows exponentially each second that I passes.
5) The feelings I experience when my owner floods my pussy with his cum is indescribable. It is a mental high like nothing else I can experience, but it is a physical high too. That’s a real orgasm for a pussyboi cumdump. I love going to my classes carrying my owner’s sperm inside me and feeling it slowly leak out of my boipussy all day. I also like the second or third fuck in a day, when I already had a load of his cum inside me. It makes the entry so much easier. The sound it makes when I already had a load inside me was almost obscene, and so fucking loud. I have learned the pain I experienced while the girth of my owner’s cock reamed me out is a gift. I feel utterly submissive, but also feel alive, and needed. I am now addicted to getting fucked, craving the pain and intensity I can only feel when my owner’s cock is inside me.
6) Matt is the only one who fucks me. And from all that I know, I am the only guy he fucks. He fucks me because he has such a torrential sex drive and I am a convenient outlet. Matt told me he never wanted to have to jack off ever again, and in a way, I am proud to be that cumdump that he needs. He fucks other girls, I knew three, and I have tasted all their pussies on his cock before. I certainly have considered the risks. But the things is, I can never ask him to get tested or ask him to wear a condom. He would always fuck me however he chooses to fuck me. My virginity and my boicunt belong to him, with no turning back, so if he wants me to be a cumdump for him, that’s what I will be. I want to feel his raw fuck tool claiming me as his over and over again, and want to feel him shooting his burning hot cum deep inside me, breeding me. I wouldn’t want to have it any other way.
7) Matt loves to use me ass-to-mouth. He did it out of anger the first time, but it grew to be his favorite way to use me. He expects me to clean his cock every time he fucks me now, but he also thinks of new way to fuck me. He would cum inside me and make me click his cock clean, then slam his still hard cock inside me and pull out again and make me lick him clean again, over and over. He would position me on a chair, and fuck me a few strokes in my ass and a few in my mouth. And I do it all for my owner, not just out of obedience, but also respect and gratitude.
8) Matt fucks me sometimes three to four times a day, sometimes he would be with a girl and not fuck me at all for a couple of days. These days are the hardest for me because I would feel anxious, empty and without focus. Matt would text me at random times, and I would drop everything, even skipping classes to be used by him. When Matts fucks me, I could not think of anything else, but his giant cock inside me. He became the center of my universe. I would feel stretched to the limit, sometimes, feeling the sensation of being torn apart, but also feel so full, like a huge void inside me is finally being filled. His strong body pounding hard away at my hole would now give me such a rush. And most of times, I stay hard throughout the fucking, simply knowing that my owner is using me.
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