Running From A Hard Place free porn video

Running from a Hard Place By Dana West Copyright 2009 I awoke in Maurice's embrace, his big nasty boner rubbing against my sissy ass made me feel like his little plaything. His arm was draped over my side and he was softly caressing my nipples which made me gasp with pleasure. He finally told me to get on my hands and knees with my little butt in the air. I was completely naked, whereas he had his underwear on, and he removed his big black penis from his boxers, covering both my asshole along with his dick with lube. "Spread wide baby, or this might be painful," he growled. "Yes Daddy." I complied and he put his beefy hand on my back, pushing my face into the pillow. I then felt the head of his cock at my sphincter, pressing hard, and then entering my ass with greasy ease. I sighed, then moaned as it went all the way in. He pulled it out, then slammed it right back in making squishing noises with every stroke. Each time his dick went in, I felt more of my waning manhood fall away, with the only reminder at this point being my little dicklette flapping back and forth to the rhythm of his humping. His cock opened me up and I felt full of his love. His fucking became more intense as he came close to orgasming in my ass. He reached under me cupping my nascent breast, sending shivers of pleasure through me. "I'm goanna cum baby!" he yelled as his member stiffened up inside me and began to spew his hot semen into my anus. His cock exited with a plop, leaving my hole agape, with cum dribbling out down my thighs. I thought to myself that I was truly feminized now, and that I was ready to become his woman totally. I snuggled up to him as he enfolded me in his powerful grasp. He was so big, at 6'5" 210 pounds, he towered over my 5'3" 119 pound frame. I was very slender, almost rail thin, while he was all muscle except for his paunchy gut and the marks on his arm. He was bald, while I had let my hair grow into curly black locks down to my shoulders. I was slightly tanned while he was very brown skinned. "I've got to go to work Dee Dee, so after you finish the housework, your gonna get all dolled up for me when I return. Ok? Don't forget to pack real good for the trip to Thailand tomorrow, ok? I don't want any stuff out of you, hear me? When you get that new pussy, I expect you to obey me at all times, understood?" he commanded. "Yes Daddy, I'll be ready for you. See you tonight." He leaned down to kiss me goodbye after hastily putting his clothes on, and then was gone, locking me in. I was very scared about the trip, but I also knew that I had no choice in the matter. Maurice wants me to have a pussy, so I'll just have to learn to live with it. He is the boss. He wears the pants in this family, I the panties. Wow, what a change my life has gone through over the last 6 months. I was just a meek little guy who never made waves. I was working at a blueprint company in Baltimore in the velum room, where we put the plans onto very transparent paper before sending them out for delivery. The other fellows I worked with all considered me to be either gay, or very effeminate because of my slender body and high voice. They were always asking me about my girlfriends in order to embarrass me because I didn't have one, or they would make dirty comments about how I looked like a prison punk, and they would know as most of them had served time somewhere. It hurt me deeply that my peers had such a low opinion of me, but life goes on. I had to make a living just like they did, so I tried to ignore them as much as possible, but it did get to me sometimes. I lived alone in an efficiency apartment in an older building that had seen better days. The neighborhood had changed over the years from a mixed ethnicity to mostly Hispanic, so that also limited my personal contacts with my neighbors. They avoided me less out of fear of contact with the local queer, than having to deal with the local gringo. Most of the women I knew either ignored me or treated me like their kid sister or something, always giving out with unsolicited advice. Whenever I went out to the store, the teenaged boys on my block would make it their business to taunt me or try to intimidate me by threatening violence against me. Once they even surrounded me, pushing me around until I cried and tried to run away. They caught me and hit me in the face a few times, and it should have been worse, but a police car pulled around the corner at that moment. The cop got out to see if I was alright, and when I began to explain my black eye, I noticed his attitude changed. He then informed me that no report was necessary, that this was obviously a neighborhood quarrel and that I should act like a man. I learned then that I can't even count on police protection when I'm the victim of a crime. So, if I wasn't being picked on at work, I was being cursed at in Spanish. On another day, I came home from the Mall and I saw little Roberto, a 5 year old boy from my building, climbing a cherry tree in the front yard when he lost his footing and fell, breaking his arm. I went to him to see if I could help him back to his apartment so that his mother would know what happened to him and take him to the hospital. The poor little guy was in so much pain as I carried him to his place, he cried and cried. His mother opened the door with a horrified look on her face, and when I tried to explain what happened, she snatched him away from me screaming in Spanish. She then said in broken English, that she would call the police and have me arrested for messing with her boy. I went home shaken, swearing that I would never help them again. As I ate my dinner, I heard a knock on the door and when I answered it, the boys' father, Jose along with 2 police officers, stood there eyeing me with hatred. They wanted to know whether or not I had any contact with Roberto that day, I said yes, and they began to put handcuffs on me and reading me my rights. The female cop seemed to take real pleasure in slapping the cuffs on me as hard as she could, almost breaking my wrists. She closed them as tight as she could also. I was interrogated at the jail for an hour until I invoked my right to an attorney, at which point they told me that not cooperating would force the judge to be hard on me, and that a guy like me won't like prison at all. Not only that, they would make sure that everyone there knew that I was in for child molestation and my life wouldn't be worth 5 cents. I had to sit in the cell all night and the next day, my lawyer had the whole thing dismissed when Roberto was able to tell the doctors what really happened. After that, my neighbors shunned me completely. I don't know who, but somebody painted in big red letters on my door, 'CHILD MOLESTER LIVES HERE'. I was mortified, but that wasn't the worst. The worst was having my face plastered on every telephone pole in a six block radius as the neighborhood rapist. This was almost as bad as when my parents threw me out for being what they called swishy. It's not something I ever did to be flamboyant, it was just the way I've always been. It's funny though, even though others see me as gay, I've never thought of myself as gay. I always was interested in girls, but they never seemed to like me all that much except for that one girl who liked me a lot, mainly because she wanted me to be her submissive slave. I'd had enough when she decided that I must wear panties from now on along with a little shift. That was fun for her, but I wanted to lose my virginity and she laughed at that saying that there was no way I could ever penetrate her, that I was meant to be the one on the bottom and that if I could just accept that, my life would be so much happier. I went to a prostitute once, and when she finished laughing at my cock, we did it. It was a humiliating experience, but I can say in all honesty that I had truly been with a woman sexually. One night I felt particularly alone when I felt I needed to be around other people, so I went to a local bar where my friend Lynette liked to hang out. I liked Lynette a lot, but I knew she just wasn't interested in me sexually so we talked about work and other stuff, until she mentioned that she wanted me to meet a friend of hers who she was sure would like to hook up with me. She told me that she would call this person tonight, although she wouldn't make any promises. Three days later, I met Suzanne, another stunning Amazon of a decidedly dominant stripe. She was at least 6 feet tall, with what I could only describe as the body of a female weight lifter. Her skin was pale, her eyes a sea green and shocking red hair cut in a very butch style. Now why would Lynette set me up with a bull dyke? We went on a date to the movies and she seemed to take charge of most of the evening, buying dinner, movie tickets and ordering my food for me. I kind of don't mind a take charge woman, but I at least like to ask for my own meal. I mean, I just didn't feel like salmon and salad that night. We went back to her place, and I thought that we might make out or something, but when we got there, she locked the door like she didn't want me to leave. All of her windows had bars on them, so there was no getting out that way. I was trapped, but I figured no woman, even this big girl could ever keep me locked up. She stepped toward me in a threatening manner, all of that nights' sweetness gone from her. "Strip you little shit!" she said menacingly. I didn't like that overly bossy tone. "No, I won't! Open that door and let me go, you're crazy!" I said defiantly. She grabbed me by the shoulders with a grip like a vise. I couldn't break free when she began to forcibly remove my clothes. "When I tell you to strip, I mean strip!" I tried to fight back but wasn't as strong as her. I'm supposed to be the man here, and she's treating me as if I were some little girl. She even slapped me a couple of times, the way a man slaps a girl, making me cry like one. Finally I stood before her shivering, totally naked. "Why are you treating me like this? I've never done anything to you before! Please let me go home. This is wrong what you're doing." She came forward and slapped me again. "Shut up bitch! So, you like abusing little kids huh? Well we'll see how you like being abused yourself. You just have no clue how damaging your behavior is to children. I was abused as a child and I've made it my mission in life to punish scum like you, now take your candy ass down to the basement NOW!" "I'm sorry that someone did that to you, but I've never abused a child in my life, and I don't see why I have to be punished by a psycho like you." She hit me again knocking me to the floor. She then put handcuffs on me, not as tight as the cop did, then snapped a spiked leather collar around my neck with a chain attached to it, and began pulling me towards the basement entrance. I fought back as best I could only to be dragged along down the stairs. Her basement was like a mini dungeon with racks, ropes through pulleys, chains, whips and what could only be described as a dog kennel in the corner. She closed the heavy steel door with a thud. I noticed that there must have been seven locks on it and there were no windows in this hellhole. "Get in the box girl!" she demanded. I really didn't want to be beaten again so I complied, thinking that with time I would find some way to escape. After I crawled in, she threw me a pair of cotton panties. "Wear these if you get cold." She then produced a syringe with something in it, and poked me in my butt with it, injecting something into me. "Goodnight Princess. Tomorrow, your new life starts and when we are through with you, you'll never be able to molest another kid ever again." She turned and strode to the door. "Wait! I'm innocent! This isn't right, I haven't done anything wrong! I never molested anyone; I swear to god that I never hurt anyone before. You can't do this to me! It's so unfair!" I whined as the tears rolled down my cheeks. "All men who do these types of things think they are innocent. Every prison in America is filled with innocent rapist and murderers. I saw the flyers in the neighborhood! I know what you did and you know what you did. You should admit your crimes; it'll be somewhat cathartic for you to confront your inner demons that make you want to have sex with children. This is an opportunity for you to discover yourself and reform your behavior. Take advantage of it." She had a sad look on her face as she stared at me in my cage. "Please. If this is about little Roberto, I tried to help him when he fell out of the tree in the yard. Think about it, if I had done those things to him, wouldn't I be in jail now? His parents called the police didn't they? When they spoke to him, he told them the truth; that he fell out of the tree. They let me go. It was his father who didn't like me who started this campaign against me. They don't like me because I'm the only gringo in our building. That's all. Please don't do this. I'm innocent, call the police and find out!" I sobbed, trying to reason with her. "I see. So this is going to be your attitude eh? You child molesters are all alike, deny everything and blame the parents or the kid. I know your type. You probably told him to keep quiet or you would hurt his mother or come and get him didn't you? That's what the guy who did that to me did. You don't seem much different from him either. Well, we will deal with you tomorrow. Remember, I gave you a chance and you threw it back in my face. Oh well." She had an evil grin on her face. "But, what about my job, my apartment, my family? They're all going to miss me and will be searching for me all over. I have a life. Please don't punish me for something I didn't do, please." I was desperate now, begging my tormentor to spare me. I assumed that this whole scenario was going to play out with my death when this was all over. "Your family? They won't have anything to do with your candy ass, will they? That wasn't much of a job or an apartment now was it. They won't miss you at all. Goodnight sweetie." She turned through the door, switching the light off, leaving me in pitch darkness and alone. It was chilly in the cage and the panties just weren't enough to keep warm, so I tried to sleep while shivering. I awoke from a fitful sleep by having a pail of cold water thrown over me. I looked up to see Suzanne standing before me in a pair of black leather bikinis with a spiked collar around her neck, and a riding crop in her hand. She also wore knee length black boots. A muscular man wearing a speedo and a black mask stood next to her. His six-pack stomach rippled with strength and his presence made me fearful of what I could expect today. "Here she is. The little bitch is very defiant and needs taking down a peg, and I figured a good cutter like you can take the fight out of her. She won't admit to anything, so she needs to be harshly punished to teach her respect for women and children," she said to the man. The man opened the cage and dragged me out by the chain. My legs were stiff, so it was difficult standing up, but he forced me. "Suzanne, can I have something to eat please?" I croaked my throat parched. "After your treatment Dear, now do as Master Jones tells you." She hit me across the thighs with her crop. "On the table bitch!" he screamed, and I gingerly climbed onto what looked like an examination table in the doctors' office. Once I was on the cold metal surface, my legs were strapped into stirrups on either side of the table. My cuffed hands were secured above my head with a chain. He spread an orange liquid all over my ball sack, and then put a cloth over my face and that was the last thing I remember until I woke up back in the cage after once again being doused by cold water. There was a throbbing pain from my scrotum which could only mean that they had castrated me. I reached down with trembling hands and felt my empty sack with dismay. I wept unabashedly. "Master Jones, I think our little princess is awake. Did our little sweetheart sleep well last night? I hope you slept as well as your victim did, you little creep." She opened the cage and violently dragged me forth into the middle of the room. I tried to follow her, but kept stumbling over my stiff limbs. Master Jones kicked me hard in my ass causing me to yelp in pain. They led me to the toilet where I sat down and did my business, and then I was thrown into an open shower and sprayed with cold water from a garden hose. I was allowed to rub some soap on my body, and then they sat me down to eat a small breakfast of oatmeal and one slice of toast with water. I was so hungry that I wolfed the whole thing down in 3 minutes flat. Master Jones then forced my mouth open and shoved 2 pink pills into it that I had to swallow. Suzanne laughed and told me they were estrogen pills to help me find the real me. "Alrighty then, let's start her training. On your hands and knees cunt!" he said it with so much force that I was afraid he'd hit me again if I didn't comply, so I did. He smeared some cool cream into my butthole and then I felt the head of his penis enter my rectum so hard that I had to scream. It was a high pitched squeal that seemed to put Suzanne in stitches she was laughing so hard. My asshole was on fire as he worked that monster in and out of me, only caring about his own selfish pleasure. I guess I squealed the entire time, which seemed an eternity, until he finally came inside of me with a jerk of his cock. "Oh yeah! This little punk is plenty tight Suzy. You ought to sell her to me. I could make good use of his punk ass!" He said as he pulled his dripping member from my sore anus. He stuck the thing in my face. "Open your mouth and suck!" he demanded. The taste was awful, but I cleaned it all up as best I could. He then stood me up and began slapping my face back and forth. "You think you're a man? I'll show you a real man you little pedo bitch!" He beat me up real good, leaving me with a black eye and a fat lip. They put me back in the cage for awhile in the dark where I cried myself to sleep. I was awoken once again with a bucket of ice water thrown over me. I was fed a dinner of lettuce, a few grapes and one slice of toast with water. Master Jones ordered me to grab his cock and jerk him off at the table until he came onto my lettuce. It was the nastiest thing I'd ever eaten, but I was also starving, so I ate it. He then fucked me again after dinner and put me back in the cage for the night. This schedule became routine over the next few months or so. I really couldn't tell what day it was but I assumed that I was down there for several months. In that time Suzanne had lasered all of my body hair except for my pubic and head hair until my body was totally smooth. After about 3 weeks, my chest began to itch really bad, especially around my nipples, which seemed to be growing bigger by the day. I was still fucked about twice a day by Master Jones, and even though there was hardly any mystery to anal sex anymore, you never get used to being penetrated down there. That seemed to me to be the worst part of it all, the initial entry into my rosebud. My hair grew long and wild and I seemed to cry a lot. One day Master Jones came into the room and gave me an injection that left me reeling. I next awoke completely disoriented. Where the hell was I? I was blindfolded, gagged, and handcuffed to what felt like a park bench. I was bent over the bench with my ass in the air. It was then that I heard the voices of men standing in back of me. It sounded like about six or seven guys were watching me, then I felt a dick enter my ass and begin fucking me with abandon. "This little queer must really like it or else why is he in the park at this hour?" "No Drew, I think someone put him there, why would he handcuff himself like that?" "Hey, Dennis, how's that ass anyway?" "Ooooh, its tight fellas, real tight, ahhh!" I felt him cuming inside me, then another cock took his place until he came inside me. Then another and another. I must have been fucked by I don't know how many men in that park until the next day when a policeman found me and I was taken to the hospital. The cops and the people at the hospital all wanted to know how I ended up locked to a bench in the most notorious gay cruising area in the region. I told them my story, but when I mentioned little Roberto and what I believe this was all about, everybody's attitude seemed to change from being very sympathetic to downright cold and hostile. They all did their jobs as professionals, but I had the distinct feeling that they all felt I got what I had coming. Here I am, a kidnapping and rape victim, and all they care about is to wonder how I would be paying for this visit. They gave me a set of baggy sweat clothes and tennis shoes that were too big for me. The bill was unbelievably high, they charged me $100 for the old, used clothes, and when I enquired about getting counseling for sexual assault, they told me that this was for legitimate victims, not some stupid pervert who got a little payback for molesting kids. They also told me that if I didn't pay the bill within a certain period of time that they would take me to court. I ran out of there in tears and wept almost half the walk back to my apartment. When I got home I found my spare key and let myself in only to discover when the light came on that none of the things in my place were mine. As I wandered around this strange place, a woman with a small girl confronted me in the doorway to my bedroom. We all startled each other and the woman began screaming and ran back into the bedroom locking the door. Bewildered, I turned and ran out of the apartment, into the street. When I ran by the dumpster out back, I saw the remnants of my things; a few old clothes, some old cd's, the only picture of my parents that I still have, my non-drivers ID and a couple of books. I sat and stared at the totality of my life and started to weep again. This was so unfair. I've done nothing wrong in my whole life and now it seems that I can't seem to do anything right. As I wallowed in my self-pity, hot tears streaming down my face, I didn't hear the footsteps approaching me from behind. "Hey you there. What's going on tonight Sir?" It was a policewoman shining a flashlight in my face. "That's him officer! He's the one I found in my apartment. He was going to rape me and my daughter, I just know it!" she yelled angrily. The cop then unholstered her gun. "Sir, I'd like to see your hands please. Lie face down on the ground, hands above your head," she barked at me. "But officer, I..." Before I could say another word, her partner pushed me from behind into the dirt. He then put his knee into my back while pulling my hands in back of me and cuffing them together. I was then painfully dragged to my feet and leaned against the squad car. The cops called in my particulars on the radio while chatting amongst themselves about going to the cop bar tonight for a couple of beers. The female cop then began taking down the woman's statement in detail while her partner questioned me further. "So, what's your story Darin?" I noticed that he was very familiar with me which was probably an interrogation tactic. I couldn't stop crying, and I couldn't look him in the eye, I felt so embarrassed and humiliated over what had happened over the last several months. I know I looked pretty beat up, wearing these old clothes, smelling like cum with a fat lip and black eye. I just couldn't bring myself to say anything. "Don't want to cooperate eh? Well we would have maybe been sympathetic but now I think you went to this woman's home to commit a burglary to pay for your drug habit, and got spooked when the homeowner happened to be home. Is that what happened here tonight?" He tried to seem sincere but it was an act. I said nothing still. "Look, Darin, be honest with me and yourself now. You seem to be a guy who maybe wants to change his life around for the better, huh? I've seen men like you hundreds of times before; you get strung out on heroin and your life spins out of control, right? We can get you into a program to get you off of that stuff and back to living a normal life. What do you say, are you ready to help yourself or do we have to take you in?" I just cried some more. I didn't know what to say. Now they have me as a junky, stealing in order to pay for drugs. I smoked some reefer in high school, but never heroin. "Ok, Darin, I see you're not ready to do yourself any favors, so we'll have to take you to the lockup tonight, how about that?" I'm going to jail. Oh my God! "You know, now that I look at you, you'll be quite popular in prison. You do have a kind of girlish looking body. In fact, the more I see of you, the more womanly you look." The female officer came over to speak to her partner. "John, I think you should hear this about that little creep." They strolled away from the car after putting me in the backseat. After about 10 minutes they spoke to the woman from my apartment, then came back to talk to me. "Mr. Wasten, you've been arrested before, haven't you? Can you tell us the circumstances of that arrest Sir?" I just lowered my head and cried. "I've changed my mind about you Darin. I think you went there to rape that little girl in there didn't you? Well, no matter. You're not going to hurt any children ever again, I promise you that." As we drove to the station house, they were chatting about mundane things, completely ignoring me in the back. We drove into a garage next to the station where I was roughly yanked out of the car and led into a holding cell. In there I was frisked, had my shoelaces taken away along with my ID which I had found amongst my things in the trash. I then had my picture taken from 2 different angles, and my fingerprints were entered into a computer database. After all of this, they led me to a cell about 20' by 20' with about 10 other prisoners in it already. The whole place smelled like antiseptic orange jello. Most of us were quiet, lost in our own thoughts with a couple of guys kibitzing about what they could expect in court. Around 7 o'clock, they came around with bologna sandwiches and warm, extremely sweet fruit punch. Most of the other guys complained about how bad this stuff tasted, but I was famished and ate every bit of it. The next morning we were all lined up and shackled together, then led out into a police van in the garage. We were driven to the main courthouse in downtown Baltimore, where we were unloaded into a holding pen by the US marshals service. We waited in line until our names were called and we had to step up to a table in order to pee into a cup for urinalysis. We finally were put into a big dirty room, with booths along one wall and bulletproof glass to separate us from the lawyers who would represent us. My name was called and I went to speak to my court appointed attorney, Mr. Pinachi. He minced no words in telling me that they had me dead to rights breaking into my old place, and that it might be best to plead guilty, hoping for leniency from the court. If they tried to bring up my previous arrest at trial, it might look bad for me that I was accused of child molestation. I explained everything to him; what had happened to me over the last several months, and that I thought I was just coming home when she came out screaming at me. I meant no harm, and that I was really the victim in this case. He found it hard to believe everything I said, but then again, most of his clients were probably as bad as the state said they were. He did say that he would check out my old address, and medical history quickly before going to court. A group of us was lined up and taken into the courtroom and I stood by my lawyer. He whispered that I had been right about being physically abused for 4 months, and that I had resided at that address previous to my disappearance, so he felt confident that I could plead not guilty and somehow get out of this. He really seemed excited about getting a client who might be innocent. "Wasten!" The bailiff called my name and we both stood in front of the judge who was very no nonsense, unsmiling. "Mr. Wasten, you are hereby charged with breaking and entering, 1 count of attempted sexual assault, 1 count of attempted sexual assault of a minor and 1 count of burglary. Mr. Pinachi, how does your client plead?" He didn't speak or look at me. "Your honor, my client pleads not guilty to all charges. Your honor, there are exigent circumstances to this case. My client was in residence at that apartment, and assumed that he still was a resident of that place when he went back and discovered someone else had assumed the lease. It was an honest mistake and when my client realized that the apartment no longer belonged to him he left quickly. He had no intention of harming anyone at the apartment. In fact your honor, we would like for the state to drop the charges in lieu of what my client has had to endure for the last 4 months..." "Duly noted Mr. Pinachi. I would be willing to consider dropping them, but the fact that your client has a previous accusation against him gives me pause." The judge gave me a stern look. "Your honor knows as well as I, that an accusation is not a conviction. Besides, the issue in that incident was a misunderstanding between neighbors and the little boy in question told the police that my client tried to help him, not harm him. This earlier case really isn't relative to the facts at hand, your honor." Wow, this guy really was working for me. "You make a good case Mr. Pinachi. I still believe there is enough to go to trial with, so I will bind Mr. Wasten over for trial, and since he has no fixed residence now, I order him held in the county jail until trial on the 14th of next month." I blanched. I was in effect being sentenced to a month in jail because I have nowhere to live. The only thing I felt on the trip to jail was numbness. Also I began to experience headaches and severe mood swings as a result of being off of estrogen for a week. We shuffled along, as best as the shackles would let us, into the central processing unit of the jail where we had to strip totally naked. The doctor looked me over and asked how I had lost my testicles and when I related the story of what happened, he seemed shocked but not surprised. He wrote out a prescription for new hormones, which I assumed would be testosterone. When I took my clothes off, everyone began laughing at my girlish body, with my budding tits, round ass, no hair and most noticeable of all, no balls. I was so ashamed that I tried to cover myself with my hands, but this made them laugh even harder because I looked the way girls do when they try to be modest. "Hey dudes, look at those tits on her! She going to be a real cellblock honey. Hey baby, if you need protection, I'm here for ya girl!" I lowered my head in shame. One of the female guards; there were 2 of them; spotted me and came over to talk to me before I got in the shower. "I've seen girls like you before, and you look like you've been through hell. Since your only here for one month, we can have you placed in solitary so that the others will leave you alone, would you like that?" She seemed genuinely nice. "Yes, I think that might be best," I said. She nodded and walked off. All eyes were on me in the shower as they were all thinking about being the one to turn me out as a prison sissy. I felt so self-conscious with all of them staring at me. After our showers, we had to be inspected by the medical staff, and they did full cavity searches of our bodies. The doctors took note of my changing body and told me they would be prescribing new hormones for me. I felt relieved to finally be getting my male body back with testosterone. The doctor told me to go to the window at the end of the hall to get my pills. After that, we received our prison issued clothing: 2 orange jumpsuits, underwear, a few toiletries, bedding, and a pair of white tennis shoes. I assumed that the nice guard had me assigned to solitary confinement, but Instead I was led to the open dormitory and told to sleep on a cot in the middle of an open space with hundreds of guys milling about. I was so afraid. Well at least I could start getting my life back in order by taking my first pill of male hormones. When I opened the bottle and took a pill out, it was pink, like the ones Suzanne had been giving me. I went back to the pharmacy window to complain that they had given me the wrong stuff, but the man just laughed and said that I was the one who was mistaken, the prescription was for estrogen, and estrogen is what he gave me. I was stunned. It seemed that everything in my life was being systematically destroyed by some power that I couldn't resist. I asked if he could switch the pills and he told me that I already received all of the pills that I was going to receive. I walked dejectedly back to the dorm and sat on my bunk where I found a pack of cigarettes. I threw them onto the floor and began to lay down when a big, muscular white guy with long hair and Nazi tattoos on his arms picked them up. "What, you don't smoke sugar? Hi, I'm Henry." He had a wolfish grin on his face. I just turned away trying to ignore him. "You can do that all you want bitch, it don't matter. You need to understand that while you're in here, I own you. In fact the minute you walked in, you belonged to the Aryan nations, and so if you don't want to be gang fucked in your sweet little ass every night, you'll be a little friendlier to me. You think on it, but my offer wont last all that long so you'd better start making up your mind soon." He walked away leaving me quaking with fear. I went and found one of the guards and asked about protective solitary confinement that the female guard had spoken of. The guard laughed. "We tell you little faggots that for laughs. You need to get used to having lots of anal sex because that's what you got coming." His laughter made me feel so weak and helpless that I began crying, which seemed to make him laugh even harder. I guess the prospect of my eventual rape was funny somehow. I didn't think it was. At dinner that night, Henry made it a point to sit next to me, and when I tried moving, he moved right along with me. Before I could eat anything, he reached over and took my tray replacing it with his. He had already eaten most of his food and when I tried to take it back, he reached under the table and grabbed my crotch and squeezed causing me to wince, although I have no doubt that it would have hurt a lot worse if I still had testicles. "I see you've made your choice sweetheart. Get that KY jelly ready baby cause it's gonna be a long night for you." I felt like throwing up right there. After dinner I asked a guard what I could do to prevent being raped like that and he told me to make sure I spread my legs as wide as they would go and use plenty of jelly. I couldn't believe that these people actually condoned this stuff in here but it was obvious that they did. When I returned to the dorm, I found a pair of pink bikini type panties lying on my bunk. I turned around to see Henry and 4 other guys, equally as tattooed as he was standing there. The guard yelled lights out and the room went dark. "Put em on girl." I stood terrified of what they were going to do to me when Henry sprang forward yanking the zipper of my jumpsuit down and forcibly undressing me down to my underwear. Then he looked me in the eyes and said, "I told you to put them on, now put them on dammit!" he bellowed. "Jesus Hank, look at those tits! This one really looks girly doesn't she?" They were impressed with my development. My big nipples were poking through my t-shirt while I pulled my briefs down to my ankles and off. When I pulled the panties up they all got a good look at my crotch, noticing the lack of testicles and my shriveled micro penis. "Damn Hank she got no balls! Will ya look at that? Hey Joe, I got seconds on that pussy." Once I was dressed, Henry grabbed me by the hair lifting my face toward his and he kissed me, sticking his tongue deep into my mouth while his other hand reached back to fondle my ass through the soft panties. He pushed me backwards onto the bed, forcing my knees to my chest exposing my pantied ass to assault. He then yanked the panties up my thighs, smeared a generous amount of lube onto my butthole and his penis before guiding the head up to my rosebud. I couldn't help but begin crying again as the big head entered first, then with a hard push, the whole thing went inside at once bringing gasps to my lips. I squealed as he began humping me with all of his might. His cock was much bigger than Master Jones's and he was very rough with me even slapping me in the face a few times. "That's it girl, take that dick! Ahhh Yeah! This ass is tight boys. Oooooooh yeah!" He was fucking me with all of his might now and I could tell that he was near cuming inside me. That big greasy dick was just going in and out and I tried to slow him down by pushing back on his hips with the palms of my hands to no avail. "Oooh please stop! Please stop! It hurts, please stop!!!" I screamed but he was too far gone with lust. "Aaah I'm cuming!!! I'm cuming!!!" he yelled out as his penis spasmed inside me spewing his baby juice deep into my rectum. He pulled out of me trailing oozing cum down the crack of my ass. Before I could even lower my legs, the second cock was in me, hammering just as fast as Henry had done seconds earlier. I squealed some more until he also came in a gush deep inside me. Then the next guy went in, and then the next until it was Henry on top of me again. The second time around was a lot longer than the first time and I began cramping up around my pelvis from having my legs pushed back so far. After awhile, I just laid there like a rag doll with each pistoning dick plowing into me relentlessly. I was beyond caring about the humiliation or the pain; I just wanted it to be over. Then the last guy came and they left me alone with a huge damp spot on my cot where the cum had dribbled out of my ass. The next morning, I noticed everyone else was staring at me with little smirks on their faces and I couldn't bring myself to get out of bed. A guard finally came and overturned my bunk, spilling me onto the floor with a thud. "Get up you little shit! It's time for breakfast!" he screamed at me and I got dressed as fast as I could. I felt so alone and isolated at that moment that maybe death would be better than my life had been for the past year. I had never contemplated suicide before, but after the constant abuse it was looking better and better as an option. In the cafeteria, Henry once again took almost all of my food while the rest of the gang laughed at my weakness. Later in the day I was introduced to the gangs other sissy, a guy named John who was a little taller than I, with blonde hair and blue eyes. He was as skinny as I was and seemed sympathetic to my plight. We were left by ourselves in the corner while the guys played cards and made lewd vulgar references to my midnight fucking last night. They called him Jane and made him wear panties also. We were what's known in jail as punks, or prison sissies. "Darin, I heard what happened to you last night and I cried for you because they did the exact same thing to me 3 weeks ago. They're all waiting to be sentenced for murdering an old black man who worked at a convenience store and didn't move quick enough for their liking. The prosecution piled another charge of a hate crime and they all will most likely get life, so they have nothing to lose really." He had a sad look on his face. "John, after last night, I just can't take it any longer. I feel like dying right now. First my prospective girlfriend cuts my balls off and has me raped, then I'm put in here because I haven't a home anymore and gang raped. I can't deal with any of this any longer." I broke down sobbing on his shoulder and he held me until I was all cried out. "Shhh, it'll be alright. That's it just let it out. You'll feel much better after you let it out. It's not your fault, they did it to me too and it was just as painful. I felt like killing myself too, but we have to go on living. We can't give those pigs the satisfaction of breaking us down, ok?" He lifted my chin and looked me directly in the eyes and gave me a warm but wan smile. He told me that he was here for selling an ounce of pot to an undercover cop at a gay disco. He was looking at any where between 1 to 4 years at sentencing. I then heard the laughter of the gang behind us as they made fun of our embrace. "It must be much easier for you in here being gay and all," I said. "Actually sweetie, it's just as hard on me if not tougher. You see, they had to turn you out from being a regular guy while with guys like me, they think we all like being abused anyway. So when they raped me, they laughed at my pleading and wouldn't stop. I cried until I couldn't cry anymore. Now I just bend over and let them use me any way they want or else they'll just take it any way. Now that you're here, hopefully they'll ease up on me." That didn't sound too comforting. "How do I deal with this? It hurts so much." I lowered my head in shame, hot tears flowing down my cheeks. "You deal with it first by giving in to them. You really don't have any choice. Second, they'll leave you alone the more you take what they believe to be your natural role of a sissy by wearing the panties all the time and learning how to mince when you walk. Also, they only like us to speak when spoken too, and when you do speak, they like us to lisp as much as possible. They also give us makeup and drugs, but just remember that none of it is free. You'll have to pay them back as long as they own you by selling your 'pussy' to other prisoners. That's the only way you're going to survive in here sweet pea." I couldn't help crying even harder at the thought of having to submit to being a sexual plaything. The rest of the week was a blur of anal sex and sucking any cock Henry wanted me to suck. By the end of the week, cum didn't taste so nasty to me anymore and it didn't hurt so much being fucked in the ass. Then Henry sold me for the night to big Mustafa, the leader of the Black Guerrilla Family, the biggest black prison gang in this jail. I was to be a gift to him in return for Mustafa using some of his clout with the Mafia outside to sway one of their corrupt politicians to influence their sentencing. Henry gave me a new very frilly pair of panties that you could see thru. When he delivered me to Mustafa, I couldn't believe how big he was. He must have been at least 6'5" with muscles bulging all over his body. He had prison tattoos all over his chiseled body, while wearing nothing but a pair of boxer shorts. As soon as Henry left, Mustafa rose up in front of me and I could smell his sweaty body before my trembling form. I was so frightened that I almost passed out when he lowered his shorts revealing the biggest penis I'd ever seen. It was enormous! His boys gathered around his bed holding up blankets, blocking the view of the others in the dorm. Mustafa was all business, grabbing me by the neck, forcing my face into the pillow while yanking my sissy panties down my thighs. He then smeared my asshole with some KY, and I felt his gigantic cock begin to press against my sphincter. I turned around with a pleading look on my face, begging him not to do this to me, which only seemed to heighten his ardor. The head of his penis penetrated me and that wasn't so bad, but then he took me by my hips and manfully pulled my little body back onto his cock. His monster slid greasily in to the hilt, making me squeal like a teenaged girl, it was so embarrassing. I could hear the other guys in the dorm laughing at my plight, saying 'listen to that little punk scream.' Since I had no testicles, my little cockette just flapped back in forth to the motion of his fucking. "Owwww! Oh no! Stop please!!! Uhhnn, oh please stopppp!!!!" I whined to no avail. I felt like my ass was being ripped in two by a billy club. My sphincter was on fire as he began thrusting in and out of my tight asshole. Mustafa leaned over my back and held me close to him while he pumped his manhood deeper into my anus. Every thrust brought on a new grunt from him while all I could do was spread wider and hope to lessen the pain in my buttocks. "Henry got himself a nice piece of pussy here fellas. Ooooh yeah, this is some good ass, and did you guys see, she got no balls!!" he said in triumph. His boys looked on with approval. He began pumping faster and faster, increasing the burning sensation to my anal ring, until he started panting raggedly. "I'm cuming bitch! Take my cum bitch!!!" His penis tensed up several times and I felt him spewing hot, ropy jets of cum deep into my bowels. When he was done, he pulled his meat out of me and I felt cool air inside my gaping butthole. He spit into the open hole, and then slapped me hard across the ass. "Yo, Johnny, you want to try this pussy?" He looked to one of his boys holding one of the towels. "Sure boss." Mustafa then got up and held the towel while another very muscular guy got in back of me. He was sort of light skinned with Dred locks, and thankfully his cock was nowhere near the size of Mustafa's'. I anticipated more pain, but since his dick was smaller, and Mustafa had already plowed the road for him, it was much easier this time around. He finally added his cum to my collection and I had to give blowjobs to three other guys before I could go back to my bunk. I felt fucked out, but Henry demanded a good sucking so I had to comply. He was pleased with how I performed for Mustafa and said that I could rest the whole day tomorrow. The next day, one of the guards called my name and I went to the cellblock door. "Wasten, you can come with us. The charges against you have been dropped, so you are to be released today." I couldn't believe it! I'm finally getting out of this hellhole. The out-processing took almost 3 hours until I was given my clothes, and what little personal effects I had, (my id along with more of the little pink pills), then unceremoniously led out the front gate. I found myself with nowhere to go, no money, no job, no balls, no home, and no hope. I wandered around downtown Baltimore for a few hours. I could hear the people cheering the Orioles at Camden yards, and the smell of hotdogs, and peanuts pervaded my senses. I managed to beg some quarters from some people and buy myself a burger from the McDonalds dollar menu. I then sat on a park bench watching the couples strolling by, or the little kids playing with their dog. They all seemed so wonderfully happy and together. I longed for their normalcy knowing that for me it was a chimera. I started to cry quietly for my lost life. I sat with my face in my hands when I heard a voice speak to me: "Miss, are you alright?" I looked up and saw an adolescent girl standing before me with braces, red hair and freckles. She looked concerned. "No, no thank you I'm fine." The look on her face was odd after I spoke. "Are you a man or a woman?" she asked curiously. "Can't you see that I'm a man? What's wrong with you!" My voice rose in anger. "I'm sorry, I just thought... Well bye." She backed away from me like I had the plague, and she ran over to a big man who at second glance looked kind of like her father. After my experiences of the last several months, I decided that this situation didn't feel right, so I got up and began walking towards the street. I looked back to see the man following me, so I started running and he ran after me screaming something about staying away from those kids or something. I don't know what she told him, but he seemed pretty mad. I spent the night on the street, cold and hungry until dawn when a truck came past me with a roar. Breakfast was what I could find in the trash bin in back of a Greek restaurant, then more aimless wandering around downtown. I was able to wash up in a fountain in the park which did a great deal to make me feel like a human being again, until a cop chased me away from there. In the afternoon a van drove up with the logo of some church on it and I was able to get some decent used clothes, a nice pair of shorts, a couple of tee shirts, a pair of old sneakers, and a jeans jacket. They also handed out hot soup with sandwiches. They were genuinely good people and I thanked them profusely. The park was home that night and the next day was very warm, so I wore the little cutoff shorts I got the day before. I was able to bum enough change to go back to McDonalds, and as a paying customer, was allowed the privilege of using their bathroom to clean up in. I was shocked to see myself in the mirror. My hair was long, almost down to my back, my face looked so feminine, and the little shorts I was wearing, were almost like Daisy Dukes, they were so tight and short. My greatest dismay was the little nipples poking lewdly thru my tee shirt. They also seemed to jiggle when I moved. I decided to walk by the porno places downtown when a man in a Cadillac drove alongside of me and rolled his window down. "Hey sweetie, you need a date?" I just kept walking, totally disgusted by the idea that he thought I was a prostitute. "C'mon sugar, I'll give $50 for a blowjob. What do you say?" Fifty dollars. I sure could use fifty dollars right now, and how would this be any different than sucking cock in jail? Fifty dollars. "Ok." I got in and he roared off. We pulled into an alley and parked. He pulled out his penis through the zipper of his pants and it was small and swollen. The guy was an old white guy who still had most of his hair and I immediately went to work on his cock. He reeked of BO but I wasn't put off by it, heck I needed the money that bad. I took him into my mouth sucking for all I was worth, trying to make him climax as quickly as possible, but he lasted a good 15 minutes before erupting in my mouth. I swallowed hard and true to his word, he handed me a fifty dollar bill, then drove me back to where he picked me up. When he let me out, I felt like things were really looking up again. I now had some money in my pocket and I could get something decent to eat, like a nice big sandwich with chips. I started walking when another car pulled alongside me and this time it was a large black man with a leather jacket and lots of gold chains around his neck. "Yo girl, you workin out here?" "Well no, not really, you see I..." "Don't lie to me girl, I saw you get out of that caddy back there. If you workin' this track, you need to work for me! Get in, NOW!" I was startled by his forcefulness and got in beside him. He drove off without a word to me until we stopped in front of his apartment house somewhere in a run down part of town. He took me up to his place which was very plush and well appointed. "You now one of my bitches!" He grabbed the back of my head and forced his tongue into my mouth while his other hand cupped my little butt cheek, making me gasp as he squeezed it hard. He made me get on my knees in front of his crotch and undid his pants presenting a penis almost the size of Mustafa's. I began slowly licking the head, then taking him as far into my mouth as I could trying to deep throat him while looking helplessly up into his blazing eyes. It was almost more cock than I could stand, but I sucked him as softly as I could. He finally lifted me to my feet, roughly undoing my shorts. He laughed at the sight of my cock when I took my underwear off. He lit a joint passing it to me, and I smoked it nervously. He laughed again at my miserable manhood. "My god, what happened to you?" I told him most of the story leaving a few details out. "So you have to take those pink pills uh? I know a plastic surgeon that does sexchanges and I think I can get him to do you next month. You're going to get this pussy and then I'm going to work your ass out on the track." "But, I don't want to be a woman, or a whore...." He stood quickly and slapped me full on across the face. "Bitch, I aint askin you! You mine now, and if I want you to have a pussy, then you gone have a pussy." He tossed me onto his bed, then pushed my legs back and rubbed some lube on my asshole. His cock violently tore into my anus, opening my ass painfully. "Call me Daddy! You remind me of this prison bitch I used to fuck all the time." "Owww, ooh Daddy, ooooww!!" He fucked me like a stallion until he came with a grunt deep inside my bowels. I cried while he lit the joint again. I stayed at Daddy's, sucking and being fucked by him whenever he wished. He beat me often during this time, calling it training for the streets, never letting me out of his sight. He made me wear women's clothes, learn how to walk in heels, use makeup and do my hair. The day finally came to go to Thailand with all of the documents ready, and he had me escorted by one of his crews hired guns, Big Benny, who was a huge ex bodybuilder that worked for the same man that Daddy did. It seems like they've done all of this before. Benny was to watch over me and make sure I didn't back out of the surgery. He treated me with utter contempt, I guess because I'm not really a woman yet, or maybe that I would allow someone to do this to me. It's not like they're giving me much choice in the matter at all, but suffice it to say that he said very little to me all the way to Thailand. When we landed, we took a cab directly to the hospital where the staff seemed to be waiting for my arrival. I was taken in to see the doctor whose name I cannot pronounce, and he ordered me to strip and get onto the examining table. I removed my sundress and panties and he looked me all over down there, and then ordered me to put on a pink hospital gown. "Mr. Calabrese say he want you have nice, deep cunt. I give that but you want big tit?" he asked smiling. "No, please as little as possible," I pleaded, and then thought, 'Who is Mr. Calabrese?' "Ok, just cunt then." I was led into my room by one of the nurses. The rest of the day and night was devoted to prepping for surgery: receiving my enemas and having all of my pubic hair shaved off. The next morning, I was led into the operating theatre on a gurney, and then transferred to a table with stirrups for my feet on the end. The last thing I remember before waking groggily in recovery is the doctors counting. The pain upon waking was awful but not unbearable. They gave me morphine and I drifted in and out of consciousness for the next 3 days. On the sixth day they removed the packing in my new vagina, along with the catheter and I was allowed to walk to the bathroom. Peeing was an altogether surreal experience as urine went everywhere at first. My crotch was all black and blue with lots of swelling. They taught me how to dilate my new pussy right before Benny came to get me to go to the hotel where I would spend the next 2 weeks in recovery. The hotel was a cheap place with Benny in one room and me in an adjoining room. I dilated at least 3 times a day, sometimes 4. It really was the most unpleasant thing about the surgery, the other being trapped in this room day and night, with only the local Thai TV to watch. Big Benny was always hovering nearby and if I even hinted that I was heading to the door, he would violently persuade me to stay. I knew that this whole set up was going to be very bad for me if I didn't take some opportunity to ditch Benny somewhere, but where? I needed to think about this hard because we were leaving in 2 more days, and I know that Daddy would meet us at the airport so that he could drive back into town, beating me along the way for being a stupid whore. My crotch was healing nicely although it was still very tender to the touch, but my breast began to really get puffier by the day it seemed. They sure itched a lot since the surgery. My pubic hair also came back to nice stubble and I did like the way my panties fit now that I had no penis. I caught Benny watching me secretly, coming out of the shower; he had a look of pure lust that turned into contempt. I really never knew what he was thinking because he never spoke to me except to bark the occasional order. We finally left Thailand and I was so embarrassed on the plane. Benny said Daddy wanted me to be dressed like a real whore, so Benny made me wear the tightest, booty hugging shorts he could find. They were so tight that I couldn't help showing everyone on the plane half of my ass cheeks along with a prominent camel toe up front. I also wore a cutoff tank top with 5 inch heels, and the sluttiest makeup a girl could wear. Every male eye on the plane was on my ass, while every female voice was condescendingly focused towards me. Benny seemed to delight in my discomfort, and believe me, sitting all those hours on that plane was truly uncomfortable. I squirmed trying to find a good position, but there just wasn't one. My new pussy was on fire and all of my wiggling about just gave the impression to the other passengers that I really was some kind of nympho hooker on holiday. I couldn't wait to land at BWI because I had decided that if the terminal was crowded enough, I would slip away from Benny and find a ride to Washington where Daddy wouldn't be able to track me. Once we deplaned, Benny called Daddy on his cell, and Daddy said he'd meet us out front in the arrivals lane. As Benny reached over at the baggage carrousel to pick up our bags, I slowly backed away into the crowd, then took my shoes off and began running up the escalator into the ticket counters. I looked back over the railing at Benny, who was frantically looking everywhere for me, until he looked up and saw me looking back at him. He moved like lightning, so I ran out of the terminal and jumped into the first cab I saw that had just dropped off a fare. "Where you going Miss?" He was a young African guy, not bad looking and well built. "Please just take me away from the airport, please!" Benny had just run out of the terminal and saw me in the cab when the driver drove off. I was free! "Miss, where to?" he asked leering at me in the rearview mirror. "I'm sorry but I only have ten dollars. How far towards DC will that get me?" I gave him my most pleading look. "Not too far Miss. You have nothing else to pay with? I can take you as far as halfway but..." I know something everyman likes. "I'll suck your cock mister if you let me keep my ten bucks and still take me to DC." He seemed to like this idea and pulled off the highway and into an old deserted gas station. "Ok, only if you swallow all of my cum." He laughed. I moved into the front seat and undid his pants pulling a nice sized penis, all black glistening with sweat. I put my head in his lap, gently taking the head of his cock onto the tip of my tongue, then deeper into my mouth until I had his entire manhood in my throat. I sucked hard as he fucked my throat, making me slobber all over his pubic hairs until he groaned and began jerking jets of hot jizm down my throat. I swallowed all of it, and then sat up straight to fix my makeup in the rearview mirror. "Oh, that was great. Where in Washington do you want to go?" He seemed happy enough. "My cousin Brian lives in Silver Spring, off of Fenton Street." I just knew that he would help me get on my feet again, even though I haven't seen him in ten years. Yes, Brian always did like me when we were kids. I doubt that he would have disowned me like the others. The trip to DC didn't do my new pussy any good at all, in fact I had a dull ache down there and I would need to change my panty liners soon. He dropped me off In front of Brian's apartment house and I found his name on the register. "Hello." My heart soared. "Hi Brian, remember me? It's your cousin Darin!" He was silent for awhile. "Cousin Darin? Aren't you in prison or something?" "No, I'm downstairs. I really need your help. Please let me in so we can talk," I begged. "Alright." The front door buzzed and I click clacked across the marble floor to the elevators, pressing his floor, finally feeling safe for a change. The greeting Brian gave me was decidedly cool as he appraised my new self. When He first opened the door, he thought that I was some kind of sick joke being played on him by his pervert of a cousin. He actually thought that I was some hooker that I myself hired to either embarrass him or give him a venereal disease. It took a lot of convincing to finally get him to believe that I was his cousin Darin, although he thinks that I'm making up all of the stuff about Suzanne and Daddy to cover up the fact that I'm just some sort of sexual deviant by choice. "Ok, you can stay here for 2 weeks, until you get a job, but then you gotta go. If the family found out that you were staying here with me, they might disown me too. Just tell me something?" "Yeah..." "Did you really molest that kid Darin? You just never seemed the type, but most molesters don't." "No I didn't do it. I keep having to tell people this, if it was true, wouldn't I be in jail or something?" He seemed not to be buying it though. "Whatever. Just be gone in 2 weeks, ok? Oh, what should I call you now?" "Sure Brian, I'll be gone soon. I guess you can call me Donna ok?" Well, it wasn't a great situation but it was better than being pimped out all over Baltimore to make Daddy rich. Over the next 2 weeks I was able to borrow some cash from Brian - grudgingly - to buy some decent new clothes and began looking for a job. Right before his deadline, I landed a job downtown, for a DC blueprinting company in their velum room. The same job I had in Baltimore, except for less pay and I'd be the only woman doing that type of work. I didn't care; I had a job which was enough to rent a room in group house. The room was small and I had to share the bathroom, but I was finally on my own again, Master...er...Mistress of my own destiny again. It was exhilarating to get some semblance of my life back in order. My little pussy was now almost fully healed; no more bleeding or pain and I even had a small orgasm while dilating in my new place. I felt confident enough to actually date one of the men at work, Tom. Tom was kind of a rugged guy and although his physical stature was bigger than mine, by the standards of the other guys, he was small. He may have been small but I thought him pleasant company. He often took me to Mexican restaurants for margaritas and such and was the nicest person I had met for a long time. I felt like I was finally retrieving my life from the dumpster, and I was getting used to living as a woman. My vagina healed up nicely and was now nice and pink with puffy labia covered in little wisps of pubic hair. My breasts were now a nice B cup, not that big but noticeable. I tried to keep my clothing as conservative as possible, wearing nice dresses with sandals or simple jeans with t-shirts to work. The guys in the velum room always had bawdy conversations in the lunch room about their wives and girlfriends, often going into lurid details about their sexual adventures. I always stayed out of these bull sessions, but the guys weren't mean spirited or anything, just guys being guys which was nice. After about 6 months, I was able to save enough for a small efficiency apartment and I began saving for a used car. I could even afford to go get my hair made up at the local salon once a month. The women that ran the place was truly kind and skillful, but what bothered me was the incessant talk of children that seemed to reinforce the pain I felt over having that privilege taken away from me by unfeeling, cruel people. The guys at work always complemented me on my hair and it felt good to be thought of as pretty. When I was male, being pretty was a bad thing, but now it was something I sought. Four months after moving into my new place, Tom called to say he had tickets to an Orioles game at Camden yards in Baltimore. Baltimore was the last place I ever wanted to go to, but I thought about it and decided that It had been a year since I ran from Daddy, so I figured that he had probably moved on to some other poor unfortunate person. Besides, what was the chance of me running into him again in a city of some 2 million people? So we drove to Baltimore that night and had a great time at the game, eating hotdogs with beer, and cheering the Orioles on to a 3-1 victory over the hated Yankees. We decided to walk to Little Italy for some wine and desert before heading back. We walked slowly in the cool fall air; a breeze was blowing leaving a nice chill feeling on my legs and panties. I wore a nice pink dress that came to my knees and was sleeveless, while I had on cute little sandals with small kitten heals that made me feel oh so feminine walking with my boyfriend. This was bliss. As we sat down and ordered wine, I looked around the restaurant enjoying the ambiance along with the delicious smells. We talked and laughed for hours until we had to leave for home, walking hand in hand to the car. A man was standing on the corner and for some reason he looked sort of like Big Benny, but there were thousands of men in this town who were as big as he was so I didn't think much of it. When we got back to my place, he walked me to the door of my apartment and sweetly gave me a tender kiss on the lips; a perfect cap to a lovely evening. He asked if we could do this again next Friday and I happily said yes, telling him I'd see him at work tomorrow. I practically floated to my place up the stairs. I undressed getting ready for bed when the phone rang and a man claiming to be a police officer said he needed to see me right away, so I buzzed him in. When I opened the door Big Benny stood next to two other men I didn't recognize. "Oh no! What do you want?!" I squealed as Benny grabbed my wrist hurting me. "You made a whole lot of trouble for me with the boss!" He slapped me hard across the face and I fell to my knees as he tried to drag me down the hall to the elevator. The other two guys helped while I kicked and screamed. My neighbors began looking out to see what the commotion was all about and when Mrs. Lindsey saw me she told Benny to stop what he was doing right away until he shoved his pistol in her face. "Help Mrs. Lindsey! Call the police!" Benny punched me in the face before turning on the dear old lady. "Shut up! If you don't want to taste some of this, then you'd better go about your business lady!" he shouted and she retreated to her apartment. They dragged me out into the night in nothing but my night gown before dumping me into the trunk of a late model Monte Carlo. I guess they were taking me back to Daddy in Baltimore, but when they opened the trunk and pulled me out, we were in front of a large mansion that was surrounded by a big wrought iron fence and lots of trees. Benny threw me over his shoulder as if I were some kind of game animal he'd just shot. He dumped me onto the floor in front of an older man sitting in an easy chair. "I found her Mr. Calabrese." Standing next to the sitting man was Daddy grinning. "Good Ben. You may go now. Maurice, I spent a great deal of money getting her in shape. I expect a good return on my dollars or I'll have to take it from you. Do you understand?" Daddy nodded in agreement. "You can count on me Sir." The older man looked down at me. "Well little Missy, you've caused a lot of trouble running away like that. When I make an investment I expect my money back. I've made an investment in you and trust me; I'm going to get every penny back. Did you think you could just run away without fulfilling your responsibility to me? I'm not a man to fool around with, so tell me why I shouldn't just shoot you right here?" He grinned. I quivered with fear of this man's power over me. "Please don't kill me! I swear I won't do it again! I just wanted to live my life. I never wanted to be a woman before. I would have been just fine without all of this!" I bawled, tears streaming down my cheeks. "I see, so you didn't want my gift in the first place is that it? You ungrateful little bitch!" He leaned towards me before slapping me across my face. "Here I take you in when no one will do anything for you, give you a means to make a living and you repay my kindness with attitude. If you don't shape up soon I'll have to take extreme measures. Have you ever had heroin before?" He beamed a cold, mirthless smile at me as the thought of him giving me that stuff entered my mind. "I can guarantee that you've never felt anything like it before, isn't that right Maurice?" Daddy nodded knowingly. "I've had to give it to several girls who didn't want to cooperate and they love it now. You will too I know you will." He grinned evilly. "I'm thinking that she could use some tonight. She's already run once. Go get her high and then put her ass on the streets." Daddy blindfolded and gagged me before carrying me to his car. We drove for about a half an hour before he opened the trunk and yanked me out. We must have been near the bay because I could smell the water. He finally dumped me onto a dirty mattress with no sheets in a windowless room with a bare light bulb hanging from the ceiling. "Take off your clothes." I sat dumbstruck trying to figure out some way out of this mess. "I said take your clothes off!!" He came over to me and began half ripping and pulling my nightgown off before tearing my panties off leaving me fully naked. He threw a baby doll nighty and some shoes with six inch heels at me. "Put these on." I slowly dressed but became alarmed when he pulled a little black bag from his jacket pocket and then handcuffing me to the radiator. He removed a small packet along with a spoon, a syringe with water in it and a cigarette lighter. He rolled up his own sleeve, and then put the powder from the packet along with the water into the spoon. He stirred the mixture before putting the lighter under it until the stuff began boiling in the spoon. He then took a cotton ball and put it atop the boiling liquid before placing the syringe tip on the cotton. The syringe filled quickly with brown liquid and he held the thing between his teeth pirate style. "This is good shit girl. I've been doing heroin for years and I can tell you that you're going to feel real good tonight." I'd wondered what those marks on his arm were from and now I knew; he was a junky. I wonder what Mr. Calabrese would say if he knew? His movements became more fluid as if he was in a state of extreme anticipation. He took a rubber tube and tied it around his arm up near his shoulder; then began slapping his arm to find a suitable vein. I watched in fascinated horror as he stuck the needle in, pulled some of his blood into the needle before injecting it all in. His eyes rolled backward as he nodded off with the needle still hanging from his arm. Many of his old needle marks had scabbed up while a few seemed to be infected. I decided to take a chance and see if I could reach his keys to unlock my shackles. I found them in his pants pocket and while he nodded off, I found the key to the lock. I took it off of the ring and then put them back into his pocket. He finally came to about twenty minutes later and smiled a wan smile. "Now it's your turn." He put the syringe back onto the cotton and pulled in the rest of the liquid into the chamber. He then tied the rubber hose around my arm and began slapping it looking for a vein. "Please Daddy, I haven't had anything to drink all day, can I have a glass of water before you do this?" I looked at him directly and I guess the sad look I gave him made him take pity on me. "Ok, sure, I'll get you a glass." He staggered into the other room but left the door ajar so I could see him over by the sink. I unlocked the cuffs quietly. I looked around the room and saw a red brick in the corner near the door. I assumed that it was used to prop the door open and I grabbed it before going back to the bed. He returned with the glass in hand, stumbling as he walked. He handed me the glass before turning back to his drugs on the table. I got up behind him and raising the brick, whacked him as hard as I could across the skull making him fall forward. He grabbed his head as he fell over yelping in pain. I took the needle and jabbed it into one of his old track marks while pressing the plunger all the way down. He turned quickly and his eyes opened wide as the big shot of dope entered his blood stream. "Wha-what have you done!" He fell back over as his eyes slowly closed and he passed out. I assumed that he would be out for a while so I rifled his pockets and found $300 and then I began to look for the exit after putting on some dirty sweat clothes. I ran from the house into the night. Many of the people on the street glanced at me because I guess it was odd seeing a white girl running through a black neighborhood at this time of night. I needed to get back home, grab some money I have stashed and beat it. If I don't completely disappear, that Calabrese character is going to find me again and this time he'll kill me. I at least had a head start. I hailed a cab and went straight to the MARC line train to DC. I figured I had to move fast so when I got home, I packed my meager belongings into a duffel bag, leaving the things that weren't important. I had $1,000 stashed away for my car but I wouldn't be getting that now. I went over to the Greyhound station and caught the next bus to Miami. I slept on and off as the motion of the bus rocked me back and forth. It took most of three days to get there because we kept stopping in these little towns on the way. Miami was hot and when I alighted from the bus I was greeted with a blast of hot moist air which made me perspire profusely. There were several men hanging around the terminal that reminded me of Daddy, which meant that they were probably pimps of some kind. "Hey pretty girl. You got somewhere to go tonight honey?" They all had the same line but I ignored them even after they followed me outside, still running their mouths. "Where you goin sugar? Hey I'm just tryin to be nice, girl!" I kept on walking knowing that many of these guys were mobbed up and all it would take is for one of them to say he saw someone who looked like me to get that Calabrese person to carry out his threat. I finally ended up at an Eccono lodge for the night. I could finally relax a little and I took a long luxurious bath before turning in for the night. I got a job in a sandwich shop as a cashier and a few days later I was able to rent a small efficiency apartment in one of the rougher parts of town. I made myself look as plain as possible; no make-up, clothes from K-Mart, flat sensible shoes and no jewelry. The other girls at work were constantly trying to get me to glam up but I knew that doing that would only call attention to me, which in turn would get me killed by the mob. The pay wasn't great but it was just enough to pay the rent and buy food. I tried not to say too much about where I was from and when asked point blank questions, I lied telling them that I was from New Jersey. I changed my name to Sharon Stewart to complete my disappearance. Things were starting to be normal again, if you could call this life normal. I didn't socialize or go out except for work or to shop. Things took a surreal turn when I was at work one day and the TV was broadcasting America's Most Wanted with john Walsh. "Tonight we want to ask your help in finding this man..." My old mugshot was posted to the screen which made my jaw drop. "The Baltimore police are looking to question this man, Darin Christopher Wasten, about the murder of Maurice Frederick Jones of West Baltimore. It's believed that Mr. Wasten beat Mr. Jones with a brick before injecting him with a lethal dose of heroin. Mr. Wasten has had earlier run ins with the police after being arrested for child molestation." I waited to hear that those charges were dropped but Walsh didn't say anything about that. "It's believed that Mr. Wasten may have fled the jurisdiction and sometimes works as a male prostitute. If you've seen this man, you need to contact our offices or the Baltimore police at this number as soon as possible. A reward of $5,000 is offered for any information." I looked around the shop but no one seemed to be eyeing me at all. A Cuban girl named Cecilia came over to chat. "You know, you and that creepy guy on TV could be twins," she said to my discomfort. "I guess there is a faint resemblance, but I don't have a brother. We all have a double somewhere don't we?" "Yes, you're right." She still had a funny look on her face which made me nervous. I had to laugh inwardly at the allusion to being a male prostitute. The last thing I ever wanted to be was a male prostitute. I went home that night thinking that maybe I should disappear again but I blew it off as just simple nerves. The next day I was late catching my bus and when I got to work, there was a big black SUV parked down the street, obviously a government car. I decided to hold back and watch the shop before going in and sure enough Cecilia was talking to two men in suits. They handed her a card before leaving. I watched as they drove around the block and came back to park two blocks away, but close enough to observe the comings and goings of the shop. I couldn't go in to work today; in fact today was going to be my last day there. I went home but there was a police car sitting outside my building so I went in through the back entrance, packed my things quickly and headed back out the same way. Now where do I go? I sat at a bus stop with my bags trying not to weep at this turn of events. I slept in a park that night, trying to figure out my next move. The cops must know I'm not a man any more so they'll be looking for me as a woman. My hair was now shoulder length and a mousy brown color. I had to find some way to throw them off of the scent so I bought some blonde hair dye and went into the bathroom in the park. I cut my hair very short; almost in a schoolboy style. I then dyed it blonde which made me look like a different person altogether. I wore a short pink dress and heels while I put on heavy makeup so that when I looked at myself in the mirror, a new girl stood staring back. Now I could at least get around without worrying about being spotted right away. I went back by the shop to see if the law was still there and sure enough, they hadn't budged. I assumed that all modes of transportation would be watched so my only hope of getting out of Miami would be to thumb a ride. I stood on Biscayne Boulevard and got picked up almost immediately by a fat truck driver heading North. "Where ya headed Darlin'?" He grinned. "To my Mothers place in Atlanta. Thanks for stopping." He seemed to be decent. We drove for hours chatting for a little bit until the motion of the cab rocked me to sleep. I felt a gentle push against my shoulder. "We're in Atlanta Darlin'." He smiled as I yawned, thanking him for the lift. I walked with my bag aimlessly through the streets wondering what to do now. I sat at a bus stop and started to cry. I felt so beat down and dirty from running. It seemed like I would never have a normal life again. It began to rain making things even more miserable than before. A van drove up and stopped next to the bus stop and a woman got out coming towards me. "Hi, are you out here all alone tonight?" I nodded warily. "Well there's no need for you to stay out here when we have a nice warm shelter for homeless women nearby. You'll get a bed and a nice hot meal. In fact I think the dinner tonight is fried chicken, how does that sound?" It sounded wonderful, but with all of the bad things that have happened over the last five months I was still suspicious. "Well?" I weighed my options and decided that anything would be better than staying here for the night so I agreed to go with her. There was a man driving the van and he had a tee-shirt on that read 'Mt. Zion Baptist Church'. He smiled at me and we drove off. We stopped several more times to pick up other homeless women around town before they drove us all to a brightly lit building near downtown. We followed them to the in processing center where, along with a group of women that were already here, waited to be assigned a room. While we waited, an elderly woman handed us hot cups of coffee with a smile. "What's your name honey?" An obviously gay man asked in a friendly manner. I had to give him a new name because if my hunch was right Cecilia gave them all of my info back in Miami. "I'm Dina Watson," I told him while thinking to myself that it would be a good name to remember. "So tell me Dina, how did you come to be homeless?" he asked gently. I had to make something up fast, so I remembered about a woman who went on the lam to escape an abusive husband. "My boyfriend said that if he catches up to me I'm a dead woman so I left home to get away from him." He nodded knowingly before scribbling some things on his notepad. "I see. That is a common thing you know. My ex used to like to beat me up too so I know where your coming from. Well, I'm going to assign you to room 16. Our rooms sleep four in two sets of bunk beds and dinner is served in about an hour from now." He smiled and handed me a small plastic bag of toilet items and a set of sheets for the bed and I went to the room. Three other women were there and I said hello and two of the women said hello back while the other one eyed me warily. The dinner was as good as it sounded and I wolfed it down as if it was my last meal on Earth. I slept fitfully because one of the other women snored throughout the night until she awoke at dawn. In the morning we all went into the bathroom to shower and get ready for breakfast. I was a little apprehensive about standing naked in the open shower for the entire world to see, but most of the others paid me no mind at all. After the meal I was told by the staff that I should go out and try to find a job but to be back by five so that I could be assured of a bed that night. So I wandered around downtown Atlanta until I saw a sign that read help wanted and I went in and applied. Everything seemed OK until I told them that I could be contacted at the homeless shelter and I was hustled out of there quickly but politely. I sat near the CNN building at a bus stop trying to think of something to do when an older gentleman sat next to me. "Doesn't look like the bus is coming anytime soon," he exclaimed. I don't know if he was just thinking out loud or he was actually talking to me. "I'd like to say that you are very pretty." I didn't say anything as he took a big wad of bills from his pocket and began counting his money. All I could do was stare at the bundle as he counted. "You look like you could use some of these?" he said smiling. I nodded. "Well if you help me, maybe I can help you." I stared at him hard as he smiled. "How could I help you?" I asked coldly. "You know, help me out." He winked before rubbing the palm of his hand across his crotch. "You want me to suck your dick right?" He winked again. I thought hard for a moment and then decided that if he was paying, I could use the money. "OK, I'll do it for $100." He seemed to have a smug look on his face but I didn't care. One hundred dollars could be my next getaway ticket if the heat came too close. I followed him into an alley and he stood behind a dumpster and unzipped his pants before pulling his penis out. I got on my knees and without any fanfare took his little meat into my mouth, sucking it while working it with my hands trying to make him cum as fast as I could. He came and I spat his semen onto the ground. He handed me a hundred dollar bill which I shoved into my bra and he said nothing as he zipped up and left the alley quickly. I went back to the bus stop thinking about how I was now, out of necessity, the whore that Mr. Calabrese wanted me to be all along. I wandered some more until late afternoon when all of the people who worked for a living were getting off and commuting home for the evening. They all seemed tired and in no mood to be friendly, they just moved in a hurry to be somewhere else. The traffic was slow and the sidewalks teemed with office workers. I felt sad because only recently I was one of them; working a job all day for a paycheck that would pay for everything I needed. I didn't have Mafia guys or the FBI looking for me and it seemed that I could enjoy a quiet life without trouble. Now my entire life was engulfed in trouble. I arrived back at the shelter and stood in line hoping that I could get a bed for the night but they closed the doors before I could get inside. I was given a sandwich and a blanket which was the best they could do. I went to the nearest park as the sun was going down, found a bush that would give me good concealment and spread out the blanket. I opened my bag to take an inventory of my things. I had a pair of shorts, a tank top with two tee shirts, a denim mini skirt, a pair of black three inch heels, two white bras, two pairs of white cotton panties, a hairbrush and an assortment of cosmetics. These were the sum total of my worldly possessions. As I lay there that night I heard the pulsing bass coming from a night club a block away. I thought about going over there but I felt that my clothes weren't right for a night out. I wore a tee shirt with a rainbow on the front with my only pair of pants and sandals on my feet. What the hell, who was gonna know that I was sleeping in the park tonight and I did have a little money from my earlier whoring, so I decided to go have a drink to forget my troubles. You could hear the place before you ever saw it but when it came into view, a few people stood around outside under the gaudy neon sign smoking cigarettes. They were mostly people about my age; late twenties, early thirties dressed as if they'd just gotten off of work. The women wore mostly dresses and heels whereas the men either wore ties or polo's and khakis. A very yuppie type crowd. I was nervous as I walked in hoping no one would say anything about how I was dressed, but the room was relaxed with many loud conversations going on all around me. I sat at the bar and waited for the bar maid to take my order. "What'll you have honey?" she shouted over the din. "A vodka martini please with onions." She nodded and went to fix my drink. As I sipped my drink, my mind wandered over how I got myself into this fucked up situation. I guess the old adage that no good deed goes unpunished is completely applicable to my life right now. If I just hadn't stopped to help that little boy and minded my own business, I'd still be living my old life. It wasn't much of a life but I was free and independent with my own place. Now, I was on the run from the state and the mob, dependent on the kindness of strangers for my basic needs. I had another martini before paying. I just couldn't stand to sit there any longer with these happy people whose lives seemed so together. I walked back to the park to bed down for the night. The next morning I felt like I could use a good hot bath so I walked over to the nearest fast food place and bought some coffee. In the bathroom I tried to do something about my appearance; my hair was unkempt and my clothes had stains on them from sleeping on the ground. I truly looked as homeless as I was. I washed myself as best I could in the sink. An employee came in and saw my things strewn across the counters and left quickly. A moment later as I was putting my shirt back on, an older employee came in and eyed me suspiciously. "You can't use our bathroom as your own personal salon. This bathroom is for paying customers only, not homeless people off the street." She said. "Please, I'll only be one minute, and I did buy something, so I am a paying customer," I shot back. "Look I'm not going to tell you again! You get out right now or we'll call the cops." Another employee came in and she began to throw my things into my bag as the other girl tried to hustle me out. "You people always come in here smelling like shit wanting to use our bathroom. Y'all always make a mess so no more of this shit, alright?!" They both pushed me towards the door as the other patrons watched in fascination. They threw my things after me. I wandered around some more, bored out of my skull until I sat wearily on a park bench. I couldn't think of anything I could do to make this situation better. I could suck some more cock for money and get a real motel room but that was a short term fix. It dawned on me that what I really needed was new documents. A new social security card, a new drivers license, along with a new birth certificate. With these I could get a job and an apartment. I could probably go back to DC and start all over again without having to worry about the law. It was the mob that really worried me most but with new papers I could even stay out of their clutches. I moved on towards the shelter when I saw this little bar and decided to go in for a drink. The place was almost empty except for a guy sitting at the end of the bar sipping a beer. The bartender had tattoos all over his arms and a long beard. There was a big confederate flag over the stage that was set up for some band to play later that evening. "What'll ya have Missy?" he asked gruffly. "A glass off white wine please." He silently poured my glass. I figured that he might know how to get underground documents so I decided to take a chance. "I was wondering, if I needed to get a new birth certificate, how would I go about doing that?" His eyebrow shot up. "Go on down to the hall of records and get them to print up a new one," he said watching me closely. "Well I mean, a new one with a new name." He still eyed me suspiciously. "You mean you want a fake one?" He still tried to play dumb. "Well yes I guess. A fake one. How would I get one of those?" He rubbed his beard smiling. "You ain't a cop are ya?" He smiled some more. "Oh no. Do I look like one?" I tried to be coy. "Actually no. You kinda look like a homeless lady with your bags and stuff. What do you need a fake ID for anyway?" "I'll tell you the truth. My ex threatened to hunt me down and kill me. I ran away but he was still able to find me so this time I dyed my hair, changed my look and now I think I need some new documents you know?" I said with a straight face. "Oh it's like that eh? Well I'll tell ya, I do know someone who can help ya but it's gonna cost about $500. Ya got $500?" After hearing that astronomical sum I felt truly defeated. "No I don't. I've only got about fifty on m," I said crestfallen. "I thought you wouldn't. I do know a way you could get it though." He became very serious. "And how would that be?" I said knowing that it probably had something to do with being fucked by somebody in the back of a car. "It's not something I can explain here. I can show you when I get off at 2am. If you want you can hang out until then and I'll show you." He began to wipe the bar down. "I guess this will have something to do with me sucking some man's cock right?" I said sarcastically. "No not really. Just come back at 2 and I'll fill you in with the details. If not, fuck the whole thing." I guess it was no skin off his nose if I took the opportunity or not, but I was intrigued. I decided to wait and see what he was on about. I left the bar and hung out nearby watching the people come in; some wore cowboy hats and boots. The band started playing and many people came outside to smoke cigarettes during the night. I waited until it seemed like the place was closing. I waited by the door until the bartender came out. He saw me and gestured at me. I went to him as he stood next to an old Toyota. "Ok, I guess you're really serious huh? Well here's the story. Can you drive?" he asked and I nodded yes. "I need this car driven to this address. You get out, walk away for about 15 minutes, then drive it back here and then I'll take you to the man with the papers. Fair exchange?" I knew there was something wrong with this whole thing but if I could get my papers, I could disappear completely so I nodded yes. "Good. Here's a map of Atlanta. Just go down this road here, turn left into the parking lot and your there. Make sure when you leave the car, not to look back. Just go someplace and wait exactly 15 minutes then come back. Got it?" "Yes I think I got it." I got in and drove off. It took me a while but I finally found the address, parked the car and walked away and hid behind a dumpster. I could still see the car but I doubt if anyone could see me. I yawned as two beefy men appeared out of nowhere with a cart and began to quickly unload whatever was in the trunk into the cart and when they'd finished they threw a bag back into the trunk and left. I waited until the fifteen minutes were up as I was told and then walked back over to the car. I looked around nervously but saw no one so I got in and drove off. The bartender looked visibly relieved when I pulled back into the parking lot of the bar. He got into the passenger seat and told me to drive where he directed. We pulled into the lot of an apartment house and I parked at the end in a secluded part of the parking lot. "Wait here, I'll be right back." He went up the stairs to one of the apartments and in about five minutes he came trotting back to the car. "He says he'll do it so all you need to do is wait here for about an hour or so and he should have your birth certificate ready. Just wait here." He left again leaving me sitting out there nervously waiting. An hour, then two went by and nothing seemed to be happening until he finally came back out and jumped into the car and told me to drive back the way we came. "Ok, here it is a brand new birth certificate hot off the press." I perused the document closely and was quite impressed with the quality of the job his friend did. It even had an official looking water mark along with a notarized state seal down in the corner near the water mark. It also had little baby footprints and the only thing that distinguished it from my real one was that it had all of this state of Georgia stuff on it instead of Maryland. I smiled at him and thought to myself that this document was as good as gold to me right now. It meant that I could at least try to resume my old normal life again. He dropped me off by the park and I found my stuff where I'd hidden it and bedded down for the night. I slept like a baby, even on the hard ground, with the knowledge that I could really start fresh. I still had about $50 so I figured that I could see how far the Greyhound would take me before I would need to start hitching. A thought hit me like a bolt of lightning; why not go to New York? With this document, it didn't matter who I looked like anymore. It said I was Laurie Smythe, born in Macon Georgia 25 years ago to Mary Anne and Robert Smythe and that I was 9lbs. 5oz at birth. The only way anyone would ever know that I was once Darin Wasten was to take my fingerprints. I was so elated that the next day I went straight to the bus station but was disappointed to find out that $50 would only get me as far as Raleigh North Carolina. I took it and was flat broke again. I got the last seat on the bus next to a very fat man who was asleep when I sat down. Throughout most of the trip, two Hispanic women sitting behind me chattered incessantly so there would be no sleeping. When we got to Raleigh I walked out of the bus station and stood trying to think about what to do next. A car loaded with young black men drove past with the music blaring and a Shaw university sticker on the back window. They all looked like frat members because they all seemed to wear variations of the same three colors. I sat on a bench near the capitol until a cop came and told me to move it along. I walked a little ways and noticed that all of the people around here were black and the homes looked shabbier as I walked. There was a bar that seemed closed but when I looked in the window I could see several people sitting inside. My stomach growled with hunger and watching the people eating peanuts made me long for some myself. An older woman came out and lit a cigarette. "You look lost; do you know where you're going honey?" The black woman asked as she looked me over while taking a slow drag from her cigarette. "I'm just hungry," I said flatly as a look of sympathy crossed her face. "Wait here." She went back inside and in about five minutes she came back with a ham and cheese sandwich and a coke. "You look like you really need this." I couldn't believe my good fortune as she handed me the food. "Thank you so much, you're too kind." She smiled and went back inside. After wolfing down my food I decided to start trying to hitch my way north and after waiting about an hour and a half a trucker finally picked me up moving up I95. He didn't say too much which was good because it allowed me to sleep most of the way until he put me out in Arlington at some big mall across the street from the Pentagon. He also gave me five bucks to boot. Well, here I was back where I started a month ago. I took the subway into the city and I wandered around the China town area until I just couldn't walk anymore. I sat at a bus stop with my bag when a police car pulled up in front of me and the police woman inside went into a McDonalds across the street. I watched her carefully as she came back across the street. She eyed me and then to my horror began to saunter over to me. I began to move away trying not to make eye contact with her. "Hey wait a minute Miss." I stopped dead in my tracks. "You look like you need a place to stay tonight, am I right?" I nodded slowly. "Well, the CCNV is only four blocks away. You can get cleaned up and stay someplace safe tonight. I'll drive you over there if you'd like. Come on, it'll be OK." She smiled so I nodded and got in. "So, do you mind me asking how a pretty girl like you ended up on the streets?" I tried to gather my thoughts. I couldn't very well tell her the truth but I needed to make my lies sound plausible. "I lost my job in Baltimore and things kind of ended like this." I shrugged. "I've heard that story before. It's quite a common theme among homeless women. Usually there's some abuse in there somewhere. Here we are. Go in that door there and the lady at the processing table will help you out." "Thank you." She smiled at me as I got out and I just felt relief. Even though this was a different city the homeless shelter was run sort of like the others except this was more like a dormitory setting. There seemed to be many mentally ill people here which sort of made me nervous. Some sat engrossed in conversations with imaginary people while others stared off into space. The food wasn't as good as it was in Atlanta but it was filling. The place was dingier and smellier than the others also. After one night I'd had enough. The crazy people were shouting or arguing all night long and banging noises permeated the building. There was also the stench of a broken toilet. I left with my bag the next morning after taking a luke warm shower. It took me about forty five minutes of waiting to get into the shower and then I was only allowed to stay in it for three minutes; just long enough to rub some soap onto my body and rinse. I thought about asking Brian to help me again but thought better of it, realizing that the FBI was probably monitoring him. I wandered around the downtown area aimlessly. Ironically, I even walked by FBI headquarters on 9th Street before going into the museum of Natural History. It got dark as I wandered and I noticed that the ordinary people working regular jobs all left the area to be replace by well dressed young hipsters heading to the local bars or restaurants. By eleven o'clock most of them had left also and the whole area quieted down. Up by K street, I noticed the working girls were out in force wearing skimpy miniskirts and heels. I stood on a corner near Franklin square when a car pulled up driven by an older white man with a pot belly. He had that leering look on his face that said he was here to buy sex. "Hi there sweet thing. You need a lift?" I sure did need the money so I got in. I ended up giving him a quick blowjob but unlike the man in Atlanta, he would only give me fifty dollars for it. It was better than nothing and the girl at the shelter told me about the Peter Pan bus service to New York and that it only cost $25. I figured that if I hung out for a few more hours, I could make some more money and go up to New York tomorrow. I earned $100 by straddling a man in the front seat of his BMW, lowering myself onto his cock. I now had the cash to continue my journey. It was becoming easier to sell myself to these guys as my moral inhibitions against hooking began to fall away. I had to wait until morning to catch the bus at Union Station. I sat in the shadows by another group of homeless women and checked my things. My clothes could use a good wash and I was down to my last four estrogen pills so I'd need to get some when I got to New York. A light bulb went off in my head with the thought of my old friend Johnny Huerta from high school. He was a real nerd back then and caught almost as much hell as I did from the 'cool kids'. Yeah, the last I heard, he was living in New York City and working as a stock broker. If I could find Johnny then I know he'd help me get on my feet. I relaxed and all of the tension from the last week left me. I felt saved. I slept most of the way as the bus rocked gently back and forth up the Jersey turnpike. We pulled into the Port Authority bus terminal around noon and the place was total organized chaos as passengers scurried from point A to point B trying not to miss their scheduled bus. I staggered out onto Eighth Avenue into bright sunshine with people walking briskly past. There was a line of people waiting for taxicabs with their luggage while garishly dressed men stood around talking loudly. They looked like pimps and sure enough one began following a young teen girl with a suitcase showering her with all kinds of flattering words about how pretty she was. "Hey Mama, you just gettin to town? A pretty girl like you needs a place to stay don't you?" I looked up at a tall black man wearing a purple suit with a green tie. He had a gold tooth that seemed prominent when he smiled. At this point I had no illusions about what this man really wanted and tried to push past him but he kept stepping in front of me. "Now where you goin' Darlin! I need to talk to you. You look like you need a job and somethin to eat. You come with me and I'll hook you up." He grabbed my arm and tried to lead me away from the crowd. I broke free and began walking up Eighth Avenue again. "Wait! Hold on girl, I think you got a wrong impression. I'm just tryin to help you get on your feet and..." I kept walking trying not to look back as he started shouting abuse at me. "Go on, you bitch!" I did. I wandered the streets of Gotham as the locals went about their business paying me no mind at all. I was just another lost soul to be ground up and spit out like all those that came before me. I tried calling Johnny but he didn't answer. I strolled toward lower Manhattan as it started to get dark. The restaurants were full of couples laughing and drinking and my stomach growled more than once looking at the delicious food that I couldn't afford. I saw an old homeless woman pushing a shopping cart by the back door of one of the fancier restaurants in the meat packing district. A man came out the back door with an apron on and tossed a box into the dumpsters which the woman began to tear open. She pulled out a half eaten chicken leg and began to gorge herself. She saw me staring ravenously and motioned for me to come over. I pulled up next to her and looked into the box at all of the food being thrown away. "This is one of the best places in town for a good meal." She chuckled through broken, discolored teeth. She looked like she'd been on the streets for a long time. Even though it was cold and someone else had eaten it before me, this was the best meal I'd had since leaving Atlanta. I ate my fill until the man came back out to smoke a cigarette. "Now you know you can't hang around back here?! My boss'll have a fit if he thinks I'm giving you free food and all." "I know Joey, but a lady's got to eat. God will bless you for this." The old lady said smiling and he finished his cigarette while rolling his eyes. "Yeah, well just be out of sight when you do it, OK?" He went back to work. She smiled at me. "He's actually a really good person. Most of these guys throw other garbage in with the discarded food so that you wouldn't want it, but he just puts it out as is which is the best. I see you've got your suitcase honey. You just get to town or are you homeless like me." "Both actually. My boyfriend wanted me to sell myself so I ran away. By the way I'm D, uh, Laurie. How did you come to be out here?" Gee, I almost let the cat out of the bag. "I'm Jane. Gosh, it's been so long. I used to have an important job with one of the big investment banks near here. Boy, those were the days! I was pulling in something like $200,000 a year, had a condo in a nice high rise building. My husband Eric died and I found out that he'd embezzled almost a million dollars from his company and they took everything to pay it back. My son died the next year in a motorcycle accident and then I was laid off. It's hard for a sixty year old woman to find a job; any job. So I ended up out here." As she talked about her son, tears came to her eyes. "I always told him that thing would kill him but he never listened." She wiped her cheeks. It was obvious that she was still grieving his death. "You know, a young pretty girl like you shouldn't stay out here too long. You'll grow old before your time." "Then what should I do? I have an old school friend working on Wall Street but I haven't seen him in almost five years. Do you think I should call him and see if he can help me out?" Jane chuckled. "I would if I were you. These are the meanest streets in America and if you have the ability to get off of them then you need to do just that. If the pimps don't get ya then the drugs will. If the drugs don't get ya then the Cops will. It's just a bad scene for women out here all alone." She nodded sadly. "Do they bother you out here?" "I'm way too old for anyone to care about. Too unattractive for the pimps. Got nothing to steal, so most people ignore me, which is good." She sighed. "Do you have a nice dress and some good shoes?" I nodded. "Good, then you should put them on, lock your stuff up in a locker at Penn station and go sit in some fancy bar and get picked up by some rich guy. At the least you'll get to spend the night inside, on a bed. Better than cold concrete eh?" That really did sound like a good idea. I still had almost twenty dollars left so I could order a drink and look casual. I told her that I would try it so I walked back uptown to where she said Penn station was. I went into the ladies room and changed in one of the stalls into the little sundress and heels. I tried to wash up as best I could, put the bag in a locker, swung my purse over my shoulder and went back out to Eighth Avenue. I walked until I saw a very lively place full of young millennials who'd just gotten off of work. My feet were sore so I went in and sat at the bar. A butch woman at the bar asked me what I'd have and I ordered a Martini. It was nice to once again be amongst regular people and not have to look over my shoulder or prostitute myself just to survive. Even if no one picked me up, it was nice to sit and just enjoy the ambiance for a couple of hours. I did notice that the women in here wore very stylish and expensive clothes and more than one woman glanced disapprovingly at my cheap little sundress but they didn't say anything thank God. "Can I buy you a drink?" I turned and saw a tall young man in a tailored business suit smiling at me. "If you'd like, yes." He ordered me another martini and sat next to me. "I'm Frank and your name is?" I told him and we began a conversation that lasted at least two hours. He was funny and told me he worked as the vice president of marketing for a big Madison Avenue ad firm. As we talked, we flirted back and forth until the sexual tension was too much. He proposed that we go back to his place and I accepted. He had a two bedroom apartment on the 30th floor of a big high rise building near Lincoln Center. It was decorated with a lot of modern art and African sculptures. He fixed me another martini and before you know it his mouth was pressed to mine while his hand slowly slid into my panties seeking my vaginal entrance. I gasped when his finger entered me. He then led me to his bedroom and I undressed and lay back spreading my legs. He fucked me hard that night until we both fell asleep. The next morning he made me breakfast. "Do you need me to call you a cab or something?" I said no that would be alright. He gave me his phone number before kissing me goodbye. "Call me and we'll do something fun this weekend," he said as I left his place. I still had no money but at least I didn't have to sleep on the street last night. I tried calling Johnny again but there was still no answer. I went back to Penn station and retrieved my bag. I looked at myself in the mirror in the ladies room and I looked like something the cat dragged in. I washed up and changed back into my shorts and flip flops. I wandered all day until I got hungry and went back to the restaurant where I met Jane and found some discarded food in a box in the dumpster. In the late afternoon I tried to call Johnny again. "Hello?" It was him! "Hi Johnny, this is Darin. You remember, Darin Wasten." There was a silence for about 30 seconds. "Darin? Hey man I haven't seen you since high school! What are you up to man? If you're in town, maybe we could meet up?" He actually sounded glad to hear from me. I wonder how glad he'll be when he sees what I've become. "Sure. That would be great but you need to know that I've changed a bit since high school." He laughed. "Well so have I! Look there's this little bar in Soho. Let's meet there at 8:00 tonight. How about it?!" I agreed and he gave me the address. He said the dress was casual so I wouldn't have to change again. I put my stuff back in the locker and was only five minutes late getting there. As I walked through the crowd I looked around but didn't see him. There was a guy at the bar who looked a lot like him but he wasn't wearing glasses and was a bit more muscular than Johnny was in school. I approached him from behind. "Johnny?" I said tentatively as he turned smiling prepared to greet his old bud when he laid eyes on me. I could tell that he was confused looking at me, but then looking around me as if he'd heard someone else. "It's me." I said and his smile faded as he stared at me hard trying to figure out whether this was a joke or not. "Darin? No way!! What the fuck is this!! You can't be Darin! You're a-a woman!" He couldn't take his eyes off of me. "Yeah well I told you I'd changed a bit. Wow, you're not the nerdy little guy I used to hang out with either. Gee whiz, look at you." We stared at each other for a few minutes and I felt that he was trying to decide whether or not he was going to stay or bolt. He stayed but had a very wary attitude. "I guess I should explain what happened to me and why I'm here." I told him the whole sad story, leaving out the part about Maurice's death and the ensuing manhunt by the Baltimore police. He looked incredulous as if things like this just didn't happen to people. "The whole thing sounds incredible. All because you tried to help a neighbor boy? Gosh. It's hard to believe but looking at you, how else could it be explained." We talked for a while about his job and how he'd been working out and got laser surgery for his eyes. He really was very handsome but I was afraid that if I told him he'd take it the wrong way. "So you got no place to stay right now?" I nodded in the affirmative. "I just wanted to know if you could let me crash at your place for a few days until I get a job and a place of my own. I swear I won't be a nuisance." I could see the wheels turning in his head, weighing the pros and cons of allowing me to stay with him. "Sure, bud- I mean Dar- ah, what do you call yourself now anyway?" I told him. "Yeah, you can stay for a few days. Why not?" I was ecstatic and wanted to kiss him but thought better of it. "I just want say that I'm not gay or anything like that. I mean, I got a girlfriend you know who might not like an old school friend who's now female, if you get my meaning." I got it alright. "Don't worry I will stay out of your way, I promise!" I smiled, while he seemed slightly bothered by the whole mess. We took a cab and got my things before going to his apartment. It was in an older, nondescript building in Alphabet city. Most of the furniture looked like he'd gotten it either from IKEA or the used furniture store, but to me it was the finest of hotel rooms. It wasn't as nice as Frank's place but it was comfortable enough. I was able to take a real shower before going to bed on Johnny's couch. I found a job quickly as a house cleaner for a maid service. I figured that if I tried to get a job as a printer again it would make it easier for them to find me. This was a job millions of women did every day so hopefully I could just blend in with all of the other uniformed servants as unseen and unnoticed. I had to wear a grey uniform with a white apron and a white cap. Luckily they provided me with the uniform so I didn't have to buy it outright. We were sent out as teams to clean wealthy people's apartments and a few times we went to these sprawling homes on Long Island. It was hard work but it was at least honest. No more sucking dick for a buck just to eat. I worked to find a place and was able to rent a room in a group house in Astoria Queens after Johnny loaned me some money. He even helped me move in. I was able to pay him back with my first paycheck and I was finally back on my feet again. Thank God for friends like Johnny. I went on a few more dates with Frank and it seemed that we were becoming closer. I kept my antennae up on the search for Darin Wasten but it seemed that the trail really had gone cold. I was nervous about being recognized but nobody paid a mousy little maid any mind so as long as I stayed out of trouble I would be home free. Whew! I watched America's Most Wanted every Saturday but Mr. Walsh never mentioned me. Frank took me to Atlantic City one weekend and I thought I'd call my cousin Brian in Maryland to see how things were back home. "Hello?" It was him. "Hey Brian, it's me Darin." He sighed heavily. "Yeah, what's up?" he said warily. "Nothing really. Just calling to see how you're doing," I said. "I'm fine. When are you coming back to town?" What an odd question, he couldn't wait to get me out of his house before. "Yeah uh, if you still need a place to stay your more than welcome to stay here again." This was very odd. "Well maybe I'll come back soon. Is my Mother doing better?" I hadn't spoken to them for years after the big blow up between me and Dad. Mom took his side as usual so I moved out. "Yeah, she's doing OK. In fact, they'd like you to come visit with them because she isn't really getting better you know. You really should come home Darin, we'll have a few beers. How about it?" He was really pushing hard which was totally out of character. "Sure, I'll be coming home next week," I lied. "Great! I'll let the family know your coming cousin." More like the FBI 'cousin'. We hung up. So they were still after me. I reckon this is going to be with me for the rest of my life. I smiled though at the thought of my new birth certificate. The passport to a new future free of the mob and the FBI. Screw it! I'd have to burrow in even deeper. I worked quietly, rarely speaking with my coworkers, mainly because most were Latino and spoke little English or were African. I did have occasional conversations with my work mate Miriam. She was from Jamaica so we could talk to each other. I was saving a big chunk of my money living in the group house and after several months had about two thousand dollars. I tried to spend weekends at Franks, playing house I guess. One morning after making love, he was rummaging through some documents in his briefcase, mumbling to himself. "What's bothering you sweetie?" I crawled up to look over his shoulder before nibbling on his ear playfully. "Nothing. Just going over this impending merger. It's going to be huge and I've got the inside poop on the whole thing right here. Man, if I just had some cash, I'd buy stock in Ajax and hold it for about six months until the merger comes off and I could make a fortune." I looked puzzled. "How come you have this info and nobody else does on Wall Street?" "Because I have a spy at Ajax. That's why, Miss smarty pants!" He turned around and forced his lips onto mine, falling backwards giggling. "How much money would you need? I have about two thousand." He laughed. "I'm talking about fifty thousand sugar." He kissed me. "I think I know where I can get most of it but sure if this thing pays off like I think it will, your two thousand can become two hundred thousand." He let that sink in. "That much?" I stammered. "Yeah, that much. Trust me." I did, so I gave him my money. I figured that he'd probably lose it so decided to forget it. Things went on and I settled into a routine of work during the week and boyfriend on the weekend. I hadn't kept up with Americas most wanted for several weeks so when I turned it on John Walsh was talking about some gang member on the run. After the commercial he began to do my profile again. "Take a good look, this is Darin Wasten. The accused child molester who killed Maurice Frederick Jones in Baltimore last year. If you see him, please contact your local police. This man is dangerous and will use violence to get away." They showed that old high school picture when my hair was short and my face covered in pimples. I looked at myself in the mirror. I looked so different from the person they were looking for. Well Laurie Watson was different from Darin Wasten. First of all Laurie had no penis. I got home from work exhausted when my phone rang. It was Frank and he sounded excited, demanding that we meet for dinner that night. I tried to beg off but he just wouldn't hear it, so I got dressed and went to the restaurant he designated. When I saw him, he stood as I was seated. He was all smiles. "OK, so what's the big surprise?" He reached into his jacket and pulled out an envelope before handing it to me. "What is this?!" I said over the din of the other diners. "This is the return on your investment." He beamed as I opened the envelope and saw a check for almost three hundred thousand dollars made out to me! I had to cover my mouth as I stared in shock. "This, this can't be right! You said about two hundred thousand. This is almost three. Oh my God! How did you do... Oh Lord!" I gasped as he laughed. "It's right alright. That's your end of the deal. I made about five million so don't think I didn't do well." The waiter brought a bottle of champagne along with two flutes. "Here's to prosperity!" We clinked our glasses before sipping. "If you'd like, I might have another deal like this one. There's no reason you couldn't put in fifty thousand this time. I'm planning on starting my own hedge fund and you could be one of the minority stake holders. Whatever happens you'll be very rich in the end." He speared a piece of steak. "Of course I'll invest. But first I want to go shopping!" We both laughed. I went to all of the best stores over the coming weeks, buying all the stylish things that I see other women wearing but because of my chronic poverty could never afford. I bought dresses, heels, fancy underwear and all of the accessories I would ever need. I was having my hair and nails done at an upscale salon in Manhattan which began to draw attention to me from my coworkers. I began to hear whispered conversations about me and why I was tarting myself up like that. I felt that maybe it was time for me to move on from this job. I had enough money to live for awhile in comfort. One thing I did though was go back down to lower Manhattan to look for Jane. It took two days but I finally found her digging through a trash can. "Hi Jane, remember me?" She looked at me with hardened suspicion. "You know me?" she squinted. "Yes, it's me, Laurie. You know the girl with the suitcase." She looked harder until recognition hit her. "I'm guessing you found someone to take you home?" She smiled. "You know that advice you gave me worked. I found a guy who took me home for the night until I found my old friend. I've never forgotten how you helped me that day." She waved her hand at me. "No, I didn't do anything honey. I just know what it takes for a girl to survive in this world. Sometimes you have to use your cooch for more than just birthing babies and the occasional good time." She was wise. "Well I've had some good fortune, here." I handed her an envelope. "What's this?" She opened it to see a big stack of cash in it. "It's twenty thousand dollars. I thought this might help you get back on your feet again, like you helped me." "Oh my sweet Lord! Thank you honey!!" She hugged me, kissing me on the cheeks. "I'm going to see if I can get a place to sleep tonight." She smiled. "Here, go to this address in Queens. It's the group house I'm staying at, they have a room available. Call that number right there." She held my hand to her cheek as hot tears of joy rolled down them. "God bless you honey. You are an angel, heaven sent. Thank you so much." I was so happy for her. When you've been beat down so long, it's hard to know what being normal is like. She eventually moved into the room above me and we became fast friends. I believed that I could tell her the full story and she would still be fiercely loyal to me. We went shopping together and I even introduced her to Frank. Jane was like the Mother that my Mother never was; attentive, loving, would take my side. Don't get me wrong, I loved my Mother a lot but she tended to discount my feelings about things and was dismissive. That last argument, when Dad threw me out, she said nothing. Absolutely nothing. And when the stuff with the law happened I knew I could expect no help or even sympathy from them. I was on my own. Yeah Jane cared, that's what counted. I received another check from Frank; this time it was a royalty check from his hedge fund for almost a million dollars. I went and bought a nice three bedroom apartment in a new high rise in Long Island City and furnished it with very expensive furniture and art. I had a view of the UN building across the river. When I received my next royalty check six months later, I bought Jane a nice apartment in the same building. I even bought a sporty little BMW convertible. Things were really looking good in my life. For the first time in my life I had money, a luxurious home, real friends and a burgeoning romance. Frank liked to take me to museums, art galleries, theater, fine restaurants and as we became wealthier we began to give to charity which got us both invited to some very swanky functions in the city. Frank was gaining a reputation for being a generous giver to charity so the invitations seemed to come every week. But always in the back of my mind was the nagging worry about eventually being discovered and waking up from this incredible dream to find myself back at a bus stop with my suitcase or scrounging around inside a dumpster for a bite to eat. I had no illusions that this wonderful life would last. We went on romantic getaways to the Poconos or in one case to Palm Beach Florida, but when he suggested that we go overseas I objected. I was worried that the birth certificate wouldn't hold up to serious scrutiny from the professionals at the State Department. It was good enough to get a driver's license but would it be good enough to get a passport. I just didn't want to risk it so I told Frank that I didn't like flying that long on a plane. He thought it was stupid but accepted my excuse. Jane had an idea for a business selling items with the New York logo on them. She designed the website and called it All of NY. She had really gotten herself together and was back into being as social as she'd been when she was living in Manhattan. She did say that a lot of the people that ditched her when her life went South were no longer welcome but a few others had stuck by her. It was close to two years since I came to New York and struck it rich and I really hadn't given much thought to how the 'manhunt' was going. I just assumed that the trail was completely cold by now and all signs pointed in that direction. I was still a little worried though so I opened an account with a Cayman Islands bank and put about half a million in it. I also made up a bail bag just in case I had to flee on short notice. I decided to try and get a passport too but just in case, I gave my address as being Jane's. I also found out that my Mother died several months ago which even though we stopped being close years ago, I couldn't help weeping for her. I found her obituary in the online version of the Baltimore Sun which had where she was buried. It was hurtful to read the list of survivors and see that my name was omitted. As if I never existed at all. My mind was in turmoil; should I go to Baltimore, should I contact my Dad or should I just let the whole thing drop. No, no matter what she was still my Mommy and no amount of bad blood was ever going to change that. I had to go to Baltimore. I told Frank and Jane that I was going to look at real estate in Maryland and that I'd be gone about a week. It was a three hour drive to Maryland and when I arrived I checked into the Hilton on West Pratt street near the inner harbor. I had to be careful in this town lest I be caught by either Calabrese or the FBI. I doubted that the mob would be looking for a woman with money staying at the Hilton. No, they'd be looking for a poor, bedraggled young man or woman with mousy brown hair, not a stylish blond with perfect hair and nails. I just had to act the part. Just to play it safe though, I decided to stay in the hotel and not venture out except in my car at night. It rained on the way to the cemetery and it took me about half an hour to find her grave and I stood there in the rain staring at what had become of my Mother. I wept before returning to the car. I decided to go see my Father at our old house near Towson. I put on some clothes to make me look more masculine while I wore a beanie cap with my long blonde hair scrunched up inside it. It was still raining when I parked the car about three blocks away so that no one would see what I was driving. I walked carefully to the house making sure to watch the cars parked on the street. None of them seemed to have anybody sitting in them, nor did any of them look Federal. I walked up to the door and knocked. My Dad answered wearing his robe over his pajamas. "Yeah, can I help you?" "Hi Dad, it's me Darin." He squinted hard, looking me over from head to toe. "Darin. Well, it's about time you showed your face here again. You know, your Mother died recently. I expected to hear from you when that happened." He still just stared at me, no hug or invitation to come in or any of that. "I guess the FBI is still after you aren't they?" "Yeah well I only just heard about Mom. Have they talked with you?" He nodded. "Yeah I've talked to them alright. They say you murdered some guy out near Fells Point or something. They told me that you're a male prostitute or something. Is that true son?" There's that male prostitute thing again. "No. I'm not a male prostitute. I didn't do any of the stuff they claim I did. Anyway I didn't come here to talk about that stuff. I came to see you. How've you been Dad?" He still made no move to embrace me or show any kind of affection. "I've been better. Look, if you've come for money, I really don't have any and your Mother didn't leave you anything in her will, so if..." I cut him off. "I don't need money, I just wanted to see you. Is that alright?" He frowned. "Well don't start thinking that I owe you something Ok. Now you've seen me so you can move on. I won't call the cops but you've got more trouble than I want to know about so you'd better go." He began to go back inside the house. "Please Dad, wait a second. Outside of you and Patsy, I have no more family. I just want to do something for you. Here, take this." I handed him an envelope with ten thousand dollars in cash. He looked inside and handed it back to me as if it was covered in shit. "Where did you get this money?" He shot me a stern look. "I earned it from working hard as a house cleaner in Miami," I partially lied. "I can guess. Son, I can't take this. It's dirty money. If you'd earned it honestly that would be one thing, but I know this did not come from honorable sources. You keep it; you'll need it being on the run. I thought I always taught you better than this. Honest is always better than dishonest." He shook his head in shame. "I earned every penny cleaning people?s houses. I made it honestly, I swear I did." He was having none of it. "I just don't believe it. First I hear you're out molesting kids, and then I hear you?re in jail, and then you're a wanted male prostitute. What am I supposed to believe? Who am I supposed to believe? The authorities who say my son is a criminal or my son who's on the run from the law but says he earned a big wad of cash working honestly. Who would you believe?" I started crying. "I'd believe my son!" My voice quivered with emotion. "I earned it all working," I whimpered, my voice trailing off. He turned to go back inside. "I still love you Daddy." My voice was small but he stopped and looked back at me as if he wanted to say something but thought better of it and closed the door in my face. I wept all the way back to the car. Back at the hotel, I spent the rest of the night crying. Outside of visiting Mom, this had been a wasted trip. I understood that from now on I had no family. My ties to Baltimore were completely severed that day. I tried to get back into my routine but I felt listless and uninterested in things. Jane came by to tell me that I had a package from the State Department. My passport had arrived. Now I could leave the country if I had to bailout quickly which was a comforting idea. I thought about contacting my little sister Patsy but what would be the point. She's Daddy's little girl so more than likely she'd treat me like he did. The royalty checks kept pouring in until a year later I had something like ten million dollars in the bank. I put at least half in offshore bank accounts after paying my taxes. I bought a condo in Miami and a condo in Honolulu for vacations. Frank bought a large estate in Palm Beach and occasionally we would host charity balls which were lavish affairs and I loved being the hostess. Many of the big society people from New York and Florida became our friends which begat more invitations. I took special pains to keep the paparazzi out. The last thing I wanted was my face in the news. Forbes did a story about Frank being an up and coming hedge fund manager but thankfully they ignored me except to say that I was his girlfriend. We were amongst the beautiful people, jetting off to ski in Vale, summer in Jackson Hole Wyoming, shopping in Paris and we even went to the Love parade in Berlin. We were having so much fun. I went to Saks to pick up my evening gown for the party at the Lincoln Center that we were supposed to attend later that week. Jane was going also so I had to get her dress too. "I have to pick up two dresses please. The name is Watson." The girl smiled. "Yes Ma'am, I'll go and look right now." She disappeared into the back and then came back with a garment bag that she hung on a rack. "Here they are! These are fabulous pieces that I know are going to look great for an evening out." She gushed. I noticed a man in a dark suit standing just outside of the department fingering a sweater. I took notice because he had that look that the Feds all have. I left quickly, my heels clicking on the floors as I headed to the door. I passed a mirror and there he was following right behind me. When I emerged onto the street, he tried to keep a discreet distance but he was still there. This was odd because Feds usually went around in twos but this guy was all alone. I sauntered into the subway station and jumped onto a waiting train as he ran down onto the platform and leaped into the next door down from the one I got on. At that very moment I jumped back onto the platform as the door closed behind me. The guy in the suit seemed really agitated trying to run back to the end of the train and exit by the rear door but it was too late. I saw that once in a movie but never thought I'd ever do it myself. So, if he wasn't a Fed then he could only be one of Calabrese's criminal gang. It made me wonder if they knew where I was living now. I might have to leave town again, maybe in a hurry. I found a company online that sells bullet proof coats and stuff. I talked to a man who makes bullet proof SUV's and had one commissioned which was delivered within a months' time. Frank knew nothing about any of this and I wasn't about to tell him either. We just kept going along as if we didn't have a care in the world. He was making so much money now that in another ten years or so he'd be a billionaire. He liked being chauffeured around town in a shiny limo. One night we went to the hottest nightclub in New York, some place in mid-town, and we walked right past the people standing in line outside into the club. The resentful stares were priceless I have to say. We danced for hours and drank champagne until the wee hours. I went to the ladies room to freshen up. It was odd because here in the ladies room I was considered just another lady doing her business. Women were lined up waiting for a stall to open up as a few others chatted about the men they'd met that night. I peed, washed my hands, checked my look and walked out into the dimly lit corridor that led back to the main dance floor. "Hello Dee Dee." I froze in my tracks and turned swiftly towards the sound of the voice. It was big Benny and some other guy with a lot of chest hair and gold chains. I tried to run as fast as I could but you can only run so fast in heels. I got halfway back to where Frank was sitting when Benny grabbed my wrist, painfully yanking me back to him. "Ow!! Your hurting me!" I yelled over the pulsing techno music. Frank ran over alarmed as Benny dragged me to a side exit. The other people in the club stared but did and said nothing. I kicked and screamed but Benny was too strong to break away from. Frank burst into the alley like the hero of a movie; he was going to save the day. "Wait a second! Let her go right now or I'm calling the cops!" Frank was so handsome and I felt he was going to take care of this whole thing. "Buddy, you don't want no part of this, OK!" Benny yelled. At that moment I leaned down and bit Benny's hand at the same moment that Frank lunged forward, punching Benny in the jaw which made him let go of my arm. Frank tried to take another shot when Benny's partner pulled out a pistol and shot Frank in the chest making him fall backwards. A pool of blood began to form under him and I went to him crying, trying to cradle his head in my hands. "Oh Frank! Frank! Stay with me! Oh my God, FRANK!!" I put my hand over his wound to try to staunch the bleeding when Benny picked me up, threw me over his shoulder and began to run out of the alley. "Help!! Help please!!" People started wandering into the alley to see what was going on. A car was waiting and I was thrown into the trunk and we sped away. We drove for about half an hour and when they took me out of the trunk, we were in some garage. Benny carried me into a windowless room with a dirty mattress in one corner and a bucket in the other. Benny stood in front of me seething with rage. "You've made a lot of trouble for me you little bitch. I should waste you right here but Mr. Calabrese has something special in mind for you." He bitch slapped me and I fell onto the mattress. I cried, not for the pain but out of frustration. "Why can't you just leave me alone! I don't want to be a whore! I don't want to do heroin! Why do I have to be some slave for you people. You know you can let me go and you'll never see or hear from me again." This seemed to make him even more pissed off than before. "You don't seem to get it do you. You've cost Mr. Calabrese a lot of money and nobody walks out on a debt to the family, understand?!" He kicked me hard and I whimpered. "You don't think you can parade around New York with that rich boyfriend of yours and get away with it do you?! On top of it all you killed one our people and that has to be punished no matter what!" He leered at me coldly. "No, you're going to pay Mr. Calabrese back everything you stole, especially that cunt he paid for!" I looked at him defiantly. "Oh, it's going to be like that eh? You think you?re strong don't you? I'm going to enjoy every minute of breaking you in. When I'm through, you're going to be the star money maker of my crew!" "How did you find me?" He laughed. "They always want to know that one. One of my people spotted you at the Hilton in Baltimore last year. At first he didn't think it was you but he followed you for a while and was sure it was you. He put a GPS tracker on your car and it was easy from there." He smiled like the cat that ate the canary. "Been living pretty high on the hog haven't you? Got you all set up in a luxury apartment, BMW, fancy clothes and parties. Them days are over bitch! You owe us and you're going to pay all of it back!" I knew that trip was a bad idea from the beginning. I had to think. Think of something right now! "Look, Benny, you're a business man right? I know where you can get $100,000 cash, right now. If you let me go and forget you found me, it's all yours. That's more than you'll make pimping me out isn't it?" He stayed silent, thinking about the money. "IT can all be yours; you won't have to share with anyone, even Calabrese." "Mr. Calabrese to you." Even though he still had that mean disposition, I knew he was thinking really hard about it. "How would you get $100,000?" "I won't say, but just know that if you want it, I can get it for you. My boyfriend gave me some cash to live off of, but you have to let me go. That's the deal. A pure business arrangement between the two of us. You think about it." He rubbed his chin and looked around the room. "Hey Lou!" he shouted and his partner came into the room with a cigarette in his mouth. "Yeah Ben?" "What'd the boss say to do when we found this hoe?" Lou smiled. "He said we could fuck the shit out of her before he arrives. He should be here within the hour anyway, why?" "She claims to have a shit load of cash somewhere. Ya think we got time to make her get it for us?" Lou nodded. "Depends on where she's got it stashed. I wouldn't trust this bitch. She killed Mo right? She's probably got some surprise for us. Besides, whatever she gives us now, we'll make twice off of her ass later anyway." I looked at Benny and he seemed to agree with Lou. "She ain't got no money. She just had that rich dude payin' for everything is all. Look at her; you think she's got any dollars to her name?" "You're right. She only had menial jobs in the past. I doubt she could've earned anything more than minimum wage. Nice try Blondie but no dice. You got a date with the boss tonight." Lou began to undo his belt and take off his trousers as Benny stood in the corner smoking. Lou was all business as he pushed me back onto the mattress forcing my legs apart. I resisted but he was too strong for me to stop. He didn't even pull my panties down, opting to just push them aside before roughly entering me. "Ow! No, wait!! Stop! It hurts!!" He punched me in the face as he gave a hard, painful thrust. "Hey Ben, she's tight as a newborn!" The bastard held me down as he mechanically humped me. He came quickly and as he got up off of me he punched me in the face again making my nose bleed. "That's for Mo bitch!" I tried to wipe the blood dripping from my upper lip but it just poured out onto my dress. They both left locking me in the room. I sobbed thinking about what happened to Frank at the club. Now Calabrese was going to come, shoot me up with heroin and force me to sell myself to make him rich. What a depressing thought. I don't know how long I waited in that room but soon enough I heard doors opening and muffled voices speaking in the other room. The door opened and Calabrese walked in followed by the other two. Calabrese sat down in a chair that was quickly provided by Lou. "Well, isn't this nice meeting again like this?" He smiled coldly. "Ah, the thrill of the chase. Why do you continue to be such an ungrateful little cunt?" He stared at me hard, waiting for me to say something. "Well, I'm talking to you Missy!" "I don't want to be a junky, or a whore." He frowned in mock horror. "Oh, I see. You don't want to be a junky whore. But you already are a whore. The heroin will just give you added motivation. You don't seem to believe me that once you try it, you'll love it more than anything else. I've seen girls like you before; disobedient, foul mouthed and lazy, but now are some of my top earners. Many of them even thank me for giving them gainful employment. You will too eventually, but now, enough of all this talk. It's time we all headed back home. Benny, would you mind?" "Boss, she claimed that she could get her hands on $100,000 right now. I don't know if she's lying or not." He chuckled. "That's just fine. You can start paying off your debt right away then. Where's the money?" I stared sullenly back at him in defiance. "You have spirit, I'll give you that. Benny, help convince her how hopeless her situation is." Benny spent the next fifteen minutes slapping, punching and kicking me. I screamed with every blow until I couldn't take it anymore. "OK, I'll take you to it, just please stop hitting me." I sniveled. I knew I was beaten and that there were no exits from this horror show. "Where is it?" Benny shouted as I flinched. "It's at my boyfriend's apartment in Manhattan," I said. We all went out and got into Calabrese's Cadillac and headed back into the city, over to Franks apartment. There were cops all over the lobby of the building and I guess up in his apartment also. We waited for hours until the commotion died down and the Cops were leaving before Benny and Lou on either side of me led me into the foyer to the front desk. "Oh hello Ms. Watson. Gents." The doorman Phil smiled at me until he got a good look at my face and then he looked at the guys on either side of me. I think he saw right away they were gumbahs and it was hard to not notice the bruises all over my face. I stared at him pleadingly. "Phil, I need the key to Franks place. I left a few things that I need to get." At first he didn't move at all wondering what this was all about before slowly handing over the keys. "You know the police were here earlier." I nodded. "They said he'd been shot earlier this evening." "I know, it's horrible." We headed to the elevator and up to Franks floor. His door was covered in police tape but we went in anyway. "Alright, hurry up and get the money!" I went into the bedroom closet and moved a few boxes out of the way to expose a small safe. I tried moving as slow as possible but that only brought a swift kick from Benny. I finally got it open. Benny pushed me aside and began sweeping everything into a pillowcase. "Yo, Lou, there's more cash in here than she said!" Lou laughed as he went through Frank's things pocketing wrist watches and rings, some of which I'd given him as gifts. "Come on, we gotta go!" We went back out the way we came through the lobby. "Ms. Watson, are you alright?" Phil asked as we passed. I tried to turn to say something but Benny hustled me out the door and back to the car. "Look at all this stuff Lou! He must've had almost $150,000 up there." He called Calabrese. "Yes Sir. It was all there alright. Close to $100,000. Yep. We're leaving the city right now. OK." Lou smiled. "Easiest money I've ever made. We split 50-50?" Benny smiled. "Yeah man. We'll split when we back home. Stash the extra cash under the seat until then." We drove down the Jersey turnpike with Benny right next to me all the way. "We got to stop for gas Ben." Benny nodded and we pulled into one of the gas / rest stops along the way. "I have to go to the ladies room." I really did but he looked at me with suspicion. "Please Benny, I gotta go!" "Nah! You're goanna try somethin stupid. I know enough about you to know what you may pull." He wasn't going to budge. "OK, I'll just have to let it go right here in the car," I said defiantly. He seemed to relent a little. "Alright but don't try anything or else!" He led me through the food court to the ladies room. "Don't fuck with me!" he hissed into my ear. I went in and the first thing I looked for was a window but there wasn't one. I went into a stall to pee and when I finished I got out to wash my hands. Many of the other girls and women took furtive glances at me. I guess to them it was odd to see a woman wearing a cocktail dress and heels as if I were headed to a night club. I also had no purse which is strange. I splashed some water on my face and looked up into the mirror. I was shocked how wan and bedraggled I looked. The bruise on my cheek seemed to highlight my state. "I don't want to be nosy dear but are you alright?" The question came from an older lady who had a kind but worried smile on her face. "Yes, I'll be fine. Thank you." I smiled back at her. "I see. I only asked because I saw you come in with the big fellow out there, and well, I was in a bad relationship before. My ex-husband used to beat me up. If he's beating you, you don't have to take it dear." I looked at her earnest demeanor and thought that there are still good people in this world. Then a thought occurred to me. "I guess I can't hide it then. He's taking me to Baltimore. I have no choice because he's threatened to break my legs if I try to leave him." She shook her head. "How can I help you dear? You need to leave him right now or you'll end up dead. I know his type and they're all bastards." She held my hands in hers. "I know but I can't get away from him. He's standing right outside the door and his buddy is out by the car. There is no way I can get out of here without him knowing it." "I'll tell you what to do. I'll go out and get into my car, a red 2004 Chrysler. I'll pull up past the pumps and when he takes you back out, see if you can break free, run over and jump in real fast." That did sound like a good idea. "OK, I'll try it..." I heard him calling me from outside. "Hurry up Dee Dee. I'm tired of waitin' for you!" The lady walked out past Benny trying not to look directly at him. I waited another ten minutes before walking out. Benny grabbed my upper arm hustling me towards the door. "What took so fucking long bitch?!" I struggled to keep up with him in my heels so I reached down and took them off. "Hurry up!" A few people watched as he herded me back to the car but said nothing. I saw the red Chrysler Idling about 50 feet past the pumps. We got back to the car and if I was going to make a move I'd need to do it right now. I brought my knee straight up into his solar plexus making him double over in pain and loosen his grip on me. I tried to break free but he wasn't letting go so I bit his hand as hard as I could. Lou saw what was going on and ran around the car to help Benny as I stomped as hard as I could on his left foot. "Ow, you little bitch!" I bolted with Lou coming up close to me. I just needed another three steps and I'd be home free. Lou was able to grab the hem of my dress trying to slow my progress but it tore into two pieces allowing me to keep running in only my sheer black lace panties. I jumped into the car and as we drove off, Lou latched onto the door handle as if he was going to jump in after me but she swerved hard and he fell from the car. I looked back watching Lou tumble across the roadway. Lou stumbled to his feet running desperately after our car. He didn't get very far before a van tried to go around him but ended up clipping him on his hip knocking him into the grass at the side of the road. It looked like he hit something solid because he didn't get up again and Benny tore off after us leaving him there. We drove at high speed with Benny trailing us. We couldn't shake him. He pulled alongside us with the window down screaming at us. "Stop the car!!" We changed lanes again and he pulled in back of us again. "Look out!! Here he comes again!" He pulled up alongside of us again. "Stop the car dammit!!" He side swiped us several times forcing other motorist to weave out of his way. I looked over at him again but this time he was pointing a pistol at us. "Watch out!!" He fired at me through the window hitting the lady in the side of the head and splattering her brains all over me. The car began to careen out of control swerving through two lanes of traffic before flipping over onto the median strip that separated the North bound lanes from the South bound ones. I was pinned against the dashboard when a shower of broken glass landed on me and a big, rough hand grabbed me by the hair pulling me out through the broken window. I had pain in my shoulder, rib cage and from where my forehead slammed against the dash. I was dazed as he half frog marched; half dragged me back to the car. People stared at the odd sight of a mostly naked car crash victim being shoved into the trunk of another car. He drove off quickly. We drove for about fifteen minutes when I felt the car speeding up. I heard sirens surround the vehicle until we finally came to screeching halt and I heard the door open and close. Sometime later the trunk opened and as I blinked to adjust my eyes to the sunlight I was staring up at a New Jersey state trooper. "It's alright Ma'am. Let me help you out." He gave me his hand and helped me to step out of the trunk. I looked around and cops were everywhere. A female cop ran over and wrapped me in a blanket and helped me stagger over to an ambulance. I must have passed out because the next thing I knew I was in a hospital bed with some machine beeping next to me. I groaned and a nurse ran in to check on the sound. "How do you feel?" she asked gently. "Pretty beat up I guess," I croaked. "Don't worry hon; you're going to be just fine. You've got two cracked ribs, a dislocated shoulder and a bad bruise on your forehead but other than that you're OK. What's your name hon? When they brought you in you had no ID. In fact you had nothing but a pair of underpants on." She had a friendly caring smile which put me at ease. "I'm Dar- , I mean Laurie Watson. I live in Queens New York." I winced at a sharp sudden pain from my side as I spoke. "You rest now. The police are going to want to talk to you later." She left the room. I dozed on and off all day until the pain seemed unbearable. They gave me a pain pill and that helped. Two men in suits came to visit me the next day. "Hello Miss Watson. I'm Detective Brandt of the New Jersey state police and I'd like to ask you a few questions about what happened." He smiled. I told him everything that had happened since the night at the club. He and his partner just nodded, scribbling what I said into a little black notebook. "Thank you for being frank with us Miss. Just one more question though, why did they kidnap you? Did your boyfriend owe them money or something?" I had to think fast. "He might have, I don't know really. I just know he let me invest in is new hedge fund thing and it was really beginning to pay off." He seemed satisfied with that. "What happened to the man that was chasing me?" "Benjamin Trevano? Oh he's being charged with aggravated assault, kidnapping, the use of a firearm in connection with a felony and murder in the first degree. He'll be lucky if they don't execute him. He shouldn't see the light of day ever again at least. We're going to try to flip him though because he works for one of the top Mafia guys in Baltimore. Well, thank you for talking to us." They left and I felt relieved that they didn't go deeper into my life. I breathed a heavy sigh of relief. I could go back to my life without fear from the cops at least. Calabrese was a different story and I'd need to watch my back until he was either dead or incarcerated. I drifted back to sleep. I dreamt about being in jail and when I looked down my dick was hanging there but then was gone. I heard Calabrese laughing and I started running, where to I haven't a clue. I awoke with a start from the nightmare. I looked around the room and I was still in the hospital. "She's awake," I heard coming from the hall. Just then two more men came in wearing almost identical dark suits. Oh shit! The Feds. "Hello Miss Watson, I'm special agent Jackson and this is agent Dansky." Agent Dansky stared at me funny, as if he recognized me from somewhere. "We'd just like to hear about what happened to Mr. Green. I know you've already spoken to the police but we want to hear it ourselves." Oh Frank. I hadn't thought about him since I was locked in the trunk of Benny's car. I began to cry thinking about how my past cost him his life. He would still be alive today if... I told them the same thing I told the cops and they did the same thing too; scribbled into a black notebook. Agent Jackson seemed satisfied with my statement and was about to leave when Dansky started asking questions. "Miss Watson, I wonder, have you ever used an alias in the past?" I said no. "Have you ever been to Baltimore or Washington before?" I said no again. "I only ask because several years ago a local Baltimore pimp was murdered by a male prostitute. This pimp worked for the same man that Mr. Trevano worked for. You've never heard the name Darin Wasten?" My heart was beating so fast I thought it might jump out of my chest. I said no again. "It's funny, you could be his sister you look so much like him. May I ask where you're from Miss Watson?" "I'm from Atlanta. Actually a suburb outside the city." "And you've never been to the mid-Atlantic region except to pass through?" I nodded. "Thank you, I think that's all we'll need for now." They both left but his probing questions left a bad taste in my mouth. If he ever put two and two together or if they used facial recognition programs, I was cooked. I needed a new identity again. The good thing was that I had plenty of money this time so getting the documents wouldn't be such a hassle. I planned to leave the hospital that night when the nurses were on a skeleton shift. I tried getting out of bed but everything hurt so much that I felt like just staying where I was. I decided that they probably weren't coming back at least for a few days so I could relax for now. I went back to sleep. "Laurie Watson! Aka Darin Wasten, you are under arrest for the murder of Maurice Jones!" I awoke to agent Dansky cuffing my left wrist to the rail of the hospital bed. He read me my rights as the nurses stood watching from the doorway. "You are also being charged with lying to Federal officials and conspiracy to commit murder. You will also be charged with being an accessory to the murder of Franklin Green and Edna Curry." Edna Curry? That must've been that nice ladies name from the rest stop. Well it was all over now. "I didn't murder anyone!" I protested. "Would you like to make a statement for the record?" As nice as they were yesterday, they were all business today. "No. I think I'd like an attorney please." He shook his head. "Look, Laurie, if you just come clean about the whole sordid mess you'll feel a lot better. You don't need a lawyer. You should just get it off your chest. They'll take in all mitigating factors and after what you've been through it won't be hard to have some sympathy for you. Besides, lawyering up now just makes you look guilty which isn't good. Don't you want your side of things to be told?" I shook my head. "I want an attorney." "Alright, suit yourself. I don't see you getting much sympathy or lenience from the court." He sounded frustrated. My only hope now would be to hire the best criminal gunslinger I could find in Manhattan. The nurses were still kind but were also more business like when tending to me. It reminded me of when I was raped in the park and when they found out about me being arrested. When I was healed up enough, they took me to the Federal lockup in Baltimore. I had to wear an orange jumpsuit which set me apart from the other women wearing blue jumpsuits. It was supposed let everyone know that I was in for murder. Women's prison is no picnic but it was better than being owned by the Aryan nations in the Baltimore jail. I was assigned a lawyer from the public defender's office and at my arraignment I pled not guilty. My lawyer argued that the prosecution's case was flawed and that I'd not been in any trouble since the incident in Baltimore. The prosecutor made the case that I'd already secured false documents previously and should be denied bail altogether. The judge decided to split the difference and gave me bail of $2,000,000. The prosecutor had a smug look on his face as if I'd never be able to make bail. I told my lawyer to pay it and I'd pay him. He thought I was crazy but went to a bondsman to get the ten percent to pay it. He was shocked when I got out and wrote him a check for the money. He wanted to know where I'd gotten the money from and I told him to mind his own business. I hired a couple of the best defense attorneys in the country and they didn't come cheap either. While I was in jail, I unknowingly had become a national celebrity. The tabloid headlines screamed about the 'TRANNY MURDERER KILLS PIMP, MURDERS RICH MANHATTAN SUGAR DADDY'. They claimed I'd murdered Frank in a fit of jealous rage because he'd balked at paying for my sex-change, which was a ludicrous fantasy. How in the world did they come up with such a bald faced lie I wondered. I just chalked it up to them being as sensational as possible in order to sell papers. Whenever the phone rang I let the machine pick it up and it was usually some breathless reporter trying to get me to tell my story. I stopped going out after being ambushed by a pack of them outside the apartment one day. My primary lawyer, Thad Hampton, told me that the case against me in Baltimore was obviously self defense and that he was going to deny my involvement completely and that Maurice was a junkie who simply overdosed himself. "Junkies have a tendency to do that to themselves." He chuckled. I sat and told Jane the entire sordid story and when I was through she sat for a moment trying to make sense of it all but then smiled and said I did what I had to do and she'd still support me. That was the best. My trial finally came and we went to the Federal courthouse in Baltimore. Mr. Hampton suggested that I wear very conservative clothes, so I wore a dark blue sheath dress that went down to my knees, flat sensible shoes and light make up. He even gave me a pair of nerdy glasses to wear. "You need to understand that a courtroom is a theater and we all have to play our parts. We need to elicit as much sympathy from the jury as we can." As we walked into the courthouse, we were accosted by a throng of reporters shoving microphones in my face while shouting wild accusations at me trying to get me to respond. "Mr. Wasten, is it true that you were being investigated for molesting children at a day care center?! Is it true that you were blackmailing various Wall Street men who were having sex with you?! Can you give a statement about what your relationship with Mr. Green was?!" Cameras flashed in my face blinding me temporarily until I was through the doors. What an ordeal! The prosecutor started the proceedings with his opening statement to the jury. "Ladies and Gentlemen, the prosecution will prove that Mr. Wasten is a committed member of the Calabrese organized crime family and that he willfully murdered Mr. Jones, his pimp, in a fit of rage. We will also prove that Mr. Wasten contracted to have Mr. Green killed when he discovered that Mr. Wasten was really a man and was trying to blackmail him into paying for his sex-change. Mr. Wasten is also culpable in the death of a Good Samaritan, Edna Curry who thought she was helping a woman escape a bad relationship. She didn't know that she was dealing with a fugitive member of La Cosa Nostra. Thank you." He sat down as Mr. Hampton stood. "My colleague wants you to believe that my client is some kind of gangster. Nothing could be further from the truth. She's just an average person just like all of us. We will prove that she is a victim of circumstance and was preyed upon and exploited by criminals. If my client is guilty of anything, it's the fact that Mob hit men were on her trail. Mr. Jones was a known repeat felon while Mr. Green was Miss Wasten's boyfriend and business associate. Mrs. Curry was a good lady who tried to do the right thing for someone in trouble. My client is innocent which will be proven through the course of this trial. Thank you." He sat. The next week and a half brought almost a dozen witnesses; my cousin Brian was no help to me, claiming that I had tried to get him to give me money when the truth was he just let me stay at his place for a week. Then the prosecution brought little Roberto's Mother to the stand where she testified that she believed I'd broken his arm and she called the police. Mr. Hampton got her to admit that when we all got to the police station that he told them that he fell out of the tree and that I'd never hurt him. Frank's Mother took the stand to say that her son was all man and would never have a relationship with a pervert like me. When she said it she just glared at me as if she wanted to stab me in the heart. The forensic scientist explained dispassionately that my prints were found on the syringe that was found in Maurice's arm and that it looked as though he'd already taken a shot before the one that killed him. He also had a bad bruise on the back of his head that while causing him considerable pain, was not the cause of his death. They even put Benny on the stand. I guess they made a deal with him to avoid the death penalty. He testified about finding Maurice's body and that everyone knew about his being whacked by that psycho tranny that caused them all so much trouble. Mr. Hampton, through clever questioning got him to admit that it was his boss and not Frank that paid for the sex- change in Thailand. He even produced the TSA travel records showing the trip to Thailand for the surgery, plus an affidavit from the surgeon stating that he did my surgery on a particular date. Benny's testimony blew a hole through the prosecution's theory about the motive behind Frank's death. "Now, Mr. Trevano. You were at the Stormy Monday's night club when my client and her boyfriend were there on the night in question?" "Yeah, I was there." Benny fidgeted. "Why were you there that night?" "Me and Lou had followed her around New York for about a day or so. We were there because the boss wanted to talk to her about the money she owed him." A few of the jurors nodded knowingly. "You mean your Mob boss Vincent Calabrese?" "Yeah. Mo, I mean Mr. Jones, was one his top earners with the ladies and she'd run off after he paid all that money to give her a cunt." Several women in the room gasped at the vulgarity. "Mr. Trevano, I'd like to warn you about your language," the Judge said. "So, in reality, my client was trying to escape from being trafficked by your organization, is that correct?" "I guess so. She could've made a lot of money but she killed Mo and bailed." Mr. Hampton smiled. "Was my client into drugs like Mr. Jones was?" Benny shook his head no. "Naw, but Mo was planning to smack her up that night to give her a little more motivation if you know what I mean." "Yes I do know what you mean. So Mr. Jones was going to give my client heroin to make her more pliable then?" "Yeah, she was always thinking of ways to skip out on Mo and after the thing at the airport, we had to track her down to DC. When we brought her back, Mo said he'd make sure she'd never leave again. I couldn't understand what her problem was; I mean all these broads love dope. If she'd tried it then none of this would've happened and this trial wouldn't be taking place," he scowled at me. "You mean to say that if she hadn't tried to escape this sex slavery then you might not be looking at life in prison right?" "Objection! Your honor, there is no evidence that the defendant was being held against his will," the prosecutor shouted. "Overruled. I'm inclined to give Mr. Hampton some room on this." He nodded to Thad. "So, Mr. Trevano, if I understand you, it was Mr. Calabrese who paid for the actual surgery, not Mr. Green, is that correct?" "Yeah." "So that means that the theory that Mr. green was killed by my client because he wouldn't pay for her sex-change is just that, a theory. Is that correct?" "I guess it is." "Now, back to the club. Who shot Mr. Green that night then Mr. Trevano? You or Lou?" "He came out and tried to be a hero in the alley. He tried to punch Lou so Lou shot him, you know." Frank's Mother began to sob quietly as her family tried to comfort her. "What did my client do then Mr. Trevano?" "She ran to him; put her hands on his chest trying to stop the bleeding. She was crying so we picked her up and ran. That was it." "Now finally, Mrs. Curry, why did you shoot her?" Thad had that smug look that all lawyers have when they think they have the upper hand. "I wasn't trying to shoot her, I was trying to get them to stop the car but it swerved and that was it." Benny looked down as if he might truly be remorseful for her killing. "Look, she just happened to be in the wrong spot is all. I didn't mean to shoot her, honest." I felt like this trial was going in my favor and I might beat this thing yet. The next day before the start of the day's testimony, we got a note to meet with the prosecutor in his office. I had a bad feeling about this but we went anyway. "Well Jerry, what's the story? You ready to drop the case yet?" Thad chuckled. "No. I am willing to offer your client a deal though." "What kind of deal? At this point you kind of don't have much more of a case do you?" "Oh we still have a case alright. I'll offer your client 15 to life," Mr. Hampton whispered in my ear. "He's desperate. He knows he's losing." Thad chuckled again. "Well? Mr. Wasten, if your convicted by the jury you can expect at least 25 or 30 years before being eligible for parole. That's a long time and you seem like quite a delicate fellow. Thad you should advise your client that this is a really good deal." He had a look of arrogance that he just knew I would take the deal. "My client has decided to take her chances with the jury, but thank you for the offer." We stood to leave. "You're doing your client a grave disservice Thad! Mr. Wasten I..." I interrupted him. "It's Miss Wasten to you." We walked out. The trial began to wrap up when Thad decided to put me on the stand. "Ms. Wasten, what was your relationship to Maurice Jones?" "He found me when I was homeless living on the street." "Were you a prostitute then?" "I did some things in order to get food but I wouldn't describe myself as a prostitute. I was a survivor but he found me at my lowest moment and offered me something to eat and a warm place to eat it so I went with him." "He made you become a prostitute after you went with him?" "Yes, he beat me and brought home men that liked being with effeminate men. He wouldn't let me out of the house and I had to have sex with strangers in a locked room. I knew what was happening and I really just wanted to live a normal life like everybody else. He already had other girls working for him on the street and he wanted me to join them after my surgery." The memory brought a tear to my eyes. "I saw a chance and I took it as soon as we landed back in Baltimore. My cousin helped me get back on my feet; I never demanded money from him. That wasn't true. I had put the pieces of my life back together in DC when Mr. Trevano found me again and took me back to Baltimore." "What happened then?" I looked down at my lap while wiping a tear with a tissue. "They took me to a big mansion and I had to stand in front of that Calabrese man. He told me how ungrateful I'd been trying to run away without paying my debt to him. He ordered Mr. Jones to shoot me up with heroin and put me out on the street to make them rich." I tried to sound as resentful as I could. "He kept talking about how much I'd love it but I knew it was bad stuff because my Uncle died from it back when I was a kid. I wanted no part of it. He took me to some house near Fells Point where he shot himself up. When he nodded off, I tried to get the keys to the door but he woke up and grabbed me. I picked up a brick that was used to prop open the door and hit him with it. It didn't seem to hurt him at all and he held my arm trying to stick me with the needle but I moved around too much. I tried pushing it away and he slapped me. I got my arm loose and pushed his hand back toward him. The needle stuck him and I pushed the plunger. His eyes got really big and he said 'what have you done?' before he passed out again. That's when I left." "So you were just defending yourself from him, is that correct?" "Yes. Absolutely. He was going to make me into his junky slave." I could tell by the expressions on many of the female jurors that they believed me. "Self defense is a right that we all have in this country and why should my client not have that same right? Now I'd like to ask you how you met Mr. Green. Was it some calculated move on your part to ensnare him?" I explained how Jane gave me advice on my first night in New York and I met Frank at that bar. "So you were just trying to find a warm place to sleep that night?" "Yes. We slept together and we talked about a lot of things. It was the case that we really liked each other as friends as well as lovers." I sighed. "Did Mr. Green give you money? Was he what the tabloids called your sugar daddy?" Thad smiled at the term as nervous laughter rippled through the court. "Order!" The judge slammed his gavel down. "He needed some money to invest in some stock that he said was going to go up, so I gave him my savings. I forgot all about it until he told me that the stock had paid off big and he was using the profits to start a hedge fund. You could say I was one of his first investors. The night we went to the club we were celebrating the success of his business. He'd made me rich, so there was no reason I'd want him dead or anything like that. I thought I'd left all of that stuff behind in Baltimore. I made the mistake of visiting my Father and the Calabrese people saw me and followed me to New York. I can't help but feel that Frank's death is all my fault. I loved Frank." I couldn't hold it any longer and started to weep unabashedly. "You lying creep!! My brother would never have anything to do with pervert scum like you!!" Frank's brother stood yelling before he was hustled out of court by the bailiffs. "Order!! Any more outbursts like that and I'll clear this courtroom, understand!" The judge pointed his gavel at Frank's family. "Thank you Miss Wasten that will be all." Thad sat down as the prosecutor got up. "Mr. Wasten, were you arrested for breaking and entering in Baltimore?" "Yes but..." He cut me off before I could explain. "And you were also charged with intent to rape and or defile, were you not?" He was throwing in the kitchen sink. "Yes but..." "Were you not going around masquerading as a Laurie Watson after obtaining fraudulent documents?" "Well, yes but..." "So if I hear this right you've broken into an apartment, tried to attack the woman and her daughter that lived there, and have been using forged papers to avoid justice and you expect this court to believe anything you say?!" Before I could say anything he dismissed me. "That will be all Mr. Wasten." He sat back down. "Redirect your honor!" Mr. Hampton stood as the judge nodded his ascent. "How did you break into the apartment he's talking about?" "I used my key. It was my apartment before I was held against my will and castrated. I was held for three months and in that time I'd been evicted. When I got home, a new family was living there and I left quickly and found my things in the dumpster out back. I wasn't going to attack anyone. I wasn't physically able to attack anyone. I'd been raped and abused for three month by this girl Suzanne." I felt humiliated just talking about it. "Why did you get new documents?" "Because I had the Mafia and the Feds looking for me. All I wanted was to live my life and that allowed me to do so. I know it looks bad but I didn't feel I'd done anything wrong so why did I have to be set upon by all of these people who don't really know me." "Thank you Miss Wasten, I think that clears up some of the misunderstandings that the prosecutor has." Thad smiled triumphantly. Both sides rested their cases and moved on to closing arguments. The jury went out to deliberate which took almost six hours. They filed back into the jury box silently and many sat staring at me. "Mr. foreman, have you, the members of the jury come to a verdict?" A tall black man sitting on the end stood up. "Yes your honor." "Good. On the first count of the indictment; murder in the second degree, what is your finding?" The judge sat back in his chair as we all waited anxiously for the verdict in silence. "We the members of the jury find the defendant not guilty." A gasp went up in the audience as I sat back in my chair relieved. Frank's Mother wept. "Now on the second count; conspiracy to commit murder." "We find the defendant not guilty." Thad smiled. "Now for the third and fourth count; accessory to murder." "We find the defendant not guilty." Not guilty on all of the most serious counts! I knew I was innocent but it was still a surprise. I leaned over to hug Thad as the judge quieted the court back down. "Now for the last count; lying to a Federal official." "We find the defendant guilty." I'll take it compared to being convicted of murder. "I don't see any reason to continue this farce. I'm ordering that you be sentenced to time served. You are free to go Miss Wasten. Good luck on your future." "All rise!" the bailiff shouted as the judge exited through a side door. "Is that it?" I was unsure what to do so I didn't move at all. "Your free. Come on I'll escort you out." I walked as if in a daze. I was finally free. Free in every sense of the word. I pushed my way through the crush of reporters screaming at me. When I got to the car, Frank's Mother came out and they all ran over to her. "Mrs. Green, would you like to say something?" She wiped tears from her face before speaking. "Yes. I don't care what that jury said, that thing had my boy killed and it just walks free?! It's not right, my Frankie wasn't gay and he'd never ever sleep with some tranny! I just know he wouldn't do that." She said tranny as if it was the devil. "That thing keeps talking about his rights, well what about my boys right not to be taken advantage of by some fraudster! Or brought into some tawdry business he knew nothing about until he was murdered! No, nobody wants to hear about that, do they! No it's always about some pervert wanting to use the ladies room so they can attack women and little girls!!" She was becoming hysterical the more she talked until she had to be led away by her family. I turned and looked at Mr. Hampton before getting into the car. "I do feel very guilty about mixing Frank up in all of this," I said glumly. "You shouldn't really," he said. "Why shouldn't I?" I asked. "Because Frank was a big boy. From all I can gather about him, he could handle himself. He chose to come to your rescue because that was the kind of guy he was. I think he really did love you very much and I think if he knew the whole story it probably wouldn't have changed his opinion at all. I know it'll be hard but you need to move forward. You've been given something most people would give their left arm for: a second chance." He pulled out into traffic. I thought about it and he was right. I'm female, rich and most important; free! "Yes your right, I'm free." The End