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Fervour of the Past V: Censor by Tegeli CHAPTER 1 "Sirin!" a distant voice shouted. I clung to it, and found myself standing the rigid legs of my carapace suit. Bemariq's hand pulled me. "Let's leave." "No. I need to see this." Though the bones had decayed, with its wide open hips, the skeleton on the table was obviously a woman's. I counted nine tiny skulls before quitting. "There's no way she could have survived this," I whispered. "What was the point?" "I can't even guess," Bemariq placed his hands on my shoulders. "Whoever she was, she died ages ago." "With this moisture, the bones wouldn't have lasted more than a few decades. A century at most." Bemariq stepped to my side. "Some unseen method of sterilisation might have postponed the decay." "That's true. Also, the air could have been more dry in the past." "It doesn't matter. Let's go." We stepped out of the room, and the door slid to hide the tomb of the nameless woman and her children. I concentrated on the mental image to drain the horror from it. Bemariq had already shown, he'd keep me safe. But he also needed me. I needed to seem strong, even if I didn't quite feel like it. Luckily the carapace suit hid worst of my shivers. "The moisture does matter." I turned to my husband. "Think about it. The tunnel we came from was collapsed for centuries. If this woman lived only a few decades ago, then there's another way in." Bemariq stared at me. "Oh..." His eyes widened. "Yes! That is plausible." "It has to be. I'm starting to think we aren't going to get the Censor --whatever it is-- to let us out." "And the Jaan aren't going to blast their way in any time soon. The surrounding natural rock can be melted away, but this stuff..." Bemariq knocked on the wall. "It was grown to withstand nightmares, which ended a civilisation." "That was your plan from start. You knew, they couldn't get in, so we could get in here ourselves." Bemariq shook his head. "No. I just went along. How could I have know, what the tram demanded?" He chuckled. "Now I almost wish we had an army looting this place." He took a large bottle out of his satchel. "Are you thirsty? Some honeydew and water should keep us going for a while." My throat was indeed parched, so I quaffed a good portion of the sweet liquid. I realised that my bare skin hadn't been covered in sweat. The suit must have been pragmatic and 'drunk' it. We searched the area, which must have been a hospital of sorts. The furniture and equipment were largely incomprehensible to us. We found more of the odd windows, but their light had died. Try as he might, my husband couldn't operate any of the machines, or even figure out if they truly were machines and not bizarre decorative sculptures. "I'll ask for help." I patted Bemariq's arm, so the concession, of that he was out of his depth, stung less. "Alright." Bemariq put on a brave smile. "Better we get this done quick." "Oh, spirit!" I shouted. "I want to see inside my body without harming myself, for health reasons. You must help me." "Medical imaging is unnecessary at the moment," the voice answered. "I beg to differ," I said. "Maintenance of these facilities must be long overdue, so this man here must personally verify my health. Otherwise my well-being is at unknown risk." The voice gave out a small whirring whine. "Closest combined medical imaging scanner is in the third room to your subjective left." In the room was only what looked like a egg-like sarcophagus and a workstation with dim windows. One by one the glass rectangles lit up to show perplexing groups of shifting abstract images. The colourful lines and shapes might have been representations of data or phantasms conjured by an injured artificial mind. The sarcophagus vomited out a bone-white tongue. "Lay on the bed," the voice commanded. "Do I need to take off my clothes?" I asked. "No. The auxiliary skin hampers certain types of radiation, yet it can boost the required scanner resonance." "So that's what this suit is called," I said and glanced at Bemariq. He nodded. The sarcophagus didn't have any visible instruments, so it seemed relatively safe. I lay down on the bed. The machine whirred and slowly moved me inside. I did my best not to think the narrow tube I was in as my tomb. Nothing happened, save that voice spoke to Bemariq. I couldn't hear the words. "Is it working?" I asked. "Yes," Bemariq shouted. "Stay still, dear." I did my best not to fidget from the thought of that invisible rays poured through my soft squishy flesh. The bed under me jerked, and I slid out. I stood up and went to Bemariq. "Did it work?" I asked. "See for yourself." He pointed one of the glowing windows. I had never studied much anatomy, so understanding the image took me a while. It was my torso, if I had been cut in half like some beast for study. "Is this..." I whispered and pointed to a flattened shape inside my lower abdomen. Everything seemed to be in what must have been their natural places. My insides weren't just a haphazard medical experiment, or the visceral artwork of a machine made mad by aeons. Bemariq wrapped an arm around me. "I think so, yes." A surge of raw indecipherable emotion made my lips quiver. I was whole, in a way I couldn't have known before. My husband kissed my forehead. "Let's go." As we stepped back into the main corridor, my head was dizzy from the mixture of joy and dread. My mind cleared quickly, with a start. An emaciated creature, taller than a man and half, stood next the door. Its flat head was near faceless, and the spindly limbs were twined roots. In a foolish if charming gesture, Bemariq tried to step between me and the eidolon. I declined to budge. "What are you?" I asked in my best 'talking to a cowering servant' voice, though the words lacked gravitas. The thing didn't vocalise any answer. "This must be our guide," Bemariq said. "It certainly seems capable of taking us to our destination, by force if need be." I made short bow to the creature. "Guide us to an exit, which will let us out of this facility." The giant didn't move beyond the twitching of its corded limbs. Bemariq shrugged. "Worth a try." I sighed. "Yes. Very well. Take us to the Nexal Censor." The eidolon turned and walked away. Its movements were heavy with both fatigue and immense strength. We passed more skeletal remains fused into the walls. The cerulean phosphorescence grew stronger, though the colour only strengthened the shadows in the gloom. In the haze, three humanoid creatures crouched, picking through the debris on the floor. I froze in place, but the feral suits scattered from the path of our guide. I pulled my husband's hand and hurried after the giant. An air current began shifting the fog, and we breached to the bottom of a huge well. A thin sheen of water trickled down the wide slope, which circled around the walls. The remains of what must have been vehicles for climbing the slope decayed at the wet floor. In the chasm between the corkscrew ramp, where water poured like rain, hung listless strands of nerve. Our guide wasn't slowed down by the slippery surface of the ramp. My suit kept me on my feet, but Bemariq struggled to climb the smooth surface. He took support from the wall and from me. I did my best not to smirk. He must have been miserable enough in his soaked clothes, while my 'auxiliary skin' kept me quite comfortable. Higher we climbed, yet massive amounts of rock remained between us and the sky. There might have been an exit topside, but I did not dare to hope for easy escape. "Bem," I whispered. "What if the Censor traps us, forces us to go along with the purpose of this place?" Bemariq remained silent for a full circle around the well. "We'll figure something out. Come what may, I'm glad I got to see all this, especially with you." "That's sweet." The affected composure in my voice wilted, as I said: "But you aren't at the risk of..." The words stuck in my throat. My husband stopped. "If I had known, I wouldn't have taken you here." I found my smile again. "And I would have insisted to come regardless." CHAPTER 2 At the top, we entered a cavern of rough natural stone. A deep jade canopy of the white-barked trees blocked the roof from view. In the middle of the garden rose a circular building. Its white walls had been stained dark grey by streaming water. A pale light reached us from unseen sources. Our guide strode through drooping branches to stand next to a gateless doorway. "This seems to be it," I said. "We could still try running." Bemariq smirked. "Would your curiosity permit that?" I pursed my lips. "I'm counting yours won't." I lost the control of my expression and grimaced. "I'm afraid, Bem." Bemariq wrapped his around my shoulders and pulled me against him. "I'll do anything to keep you safe." "That's awfully absolute." I leaned on him. "And romantic. Like this place, in a way. How is this grass so green and these trees still verdant in this grotto so far from the stars?" "Beats me. I suspect they aren't proper plants at all." I made my hand glide through the soft leaves. "Let's go in, before we lose our nerve." The short tunnel led to a circular room. Rootlike growth coiled over the walls and the broken stone floor. In the centre was a pool of murky liquid, from which rose a pedestal reminiscent of a blossom. On this throne sat a creature of human shape, but more. The crown of branching horns on its head connected to thin wires. These strands rose into a hollow of merciless radiance. If its skin with its nacreous lustre hadn't been integral to the creature's being, I would have thought it a suit similar to mine. Like in an armour suit, there was only a suggestion of a visible face. The air whispered deep wisdom in my ear in an incomprehensible language. Without eyes the master of the blossom throne saw through me, peeled my brain into strips it could evaluate. It judged me. In its grim barrenness, the chamber was sacred. Only once had I been similarly awed, at the grand temple to Our High Lady of Reason. I was overwhelmed to tears. This was the sanctum of a god, a true remnant of the age we in our ignorance callously called the 'pre-Collapse'. I was fortunate to bask in this presence. I turned to Bemariq to share our worship, but his face was twisted by a pained frown, ugly in its irreverence. But Bemariq wasn't disgusting. A flash of hesitation tested my resolve. I pressed the sides of my head hard enough to hurt. I had never before considered the bygone age holy, like those crazed zealots ravaging dig sites. Even my devotion Our Lady was far from immaculate. I had never had such fervour to anyone but my husband. The zeal overwhelming me wasn't mine. My doubt pulsed into discomfort bordering on agony. A shudder waxed into uncontrollable shivers. "Bemariq..." I whined. My voice startled my husband. He embraced me. "I felt it too. A presence filling the room. It's gone now, though." That wasn't true, but the welling affection for my husband overpowered my dismay. The veneration of the god dissipated into mild vertigo. "What is this?" I whispered. "Trickery of the past, nothing more. A ghost, an echo of a dead glory. This must have been what made the soldiers at Radhas lose their wits." Of course I had read about the 'divine machinery', which created saints and madmen both, but those claims had always had the ring of blasphemy. Bemariq on the other hand was --like most of Conglomerate upper class-- fashionably irreligious. According to him, the old faith was nothing but a guideline for rebuilding civilisation, hidden in mysticism. I wasn't sure I agreed. My thoughts were sacrilegious, and the god could surely read them. My breathing quickened, and Bemariq crushed me tighter against his chest. He trembled, just as I. Perhaps he wasn't as unaffected as he wanted to seem. "Magnificent, isn't He?" asked Sitolytta's voice. I turned my head towards the sound and started from surprise. She was only a few steps away. The graceful body of the magnatess was hidden in the skintight embrace of a carapace suit, which showed little sign of degeneration. She was voluptuous around hips and chest presumably due to the same adjustments I had been forced through. Though her smile was cocksure, her large eyes had a frantic light. "Where did you get that suit?" Bemariq asked. Sitolytta let out a chuckle. "One might say the suit got me." "Can you control it?" I asked. "You don't have an identification ring, do you?" "So that's why you get to use yours." The magnatess smiled wide. "I'm Jaan. The mastery of this suit is my heritage." Bemariq took a step, so he was half in between me and the magnatess. He glanced around. "Where's that soldier?" "Oh, Hyssi is all tuckered out." Sitolytta glanced at me and smirked. "You know men." The implication made me shudder. For a moment, I forgot, how much I despised the woman. "Oh no." Sitolytta ignored my reaction. She turned to the Censor and spread her arms wide. "Pray tell me, associate of Usinilim. Did you--even in your wildest of dreams-- imagine you could find something like this?" "What do you think all this is?" Bemariq asked. "A god, obviously." Sitolytta spun around fast and smooth. "Or some sort of spirit of higher order. The specifics matter little." Cold prickling surged over my skin. The magnatess was right. We were insects intruding into the presence of beings, which we were too degenerated to comprehend. Bemariq sighed. "Magn--" Sitolytta scoffed. "I know what you are going to say. Don't bother giving that crap about invisible brain-addling waves. Before, I might have entertained such blasphemy, but now-- Huh." Her expression mellowed into confusion. "Try to think rationally." Bemariq walked to the woman, and I hurried after him. The Censor could rise to smite my husband, and I'd have to plead for his life. "I'm only experiencing a mild dizziness," Bemariq said. "Possibly because I'm not inside one of those damned suits." "You might be right." Sitolytta's overactive eyes lingered on me. "Sirin." Bemariq turned away from the magnatess. "Are you feeling better?" His caring smile was mellow, as if the tremendousness of the circumstances didn't impact him. I was too preoccupied with my own confusion to react quick enough. In an elegant twisting motion of bizarre grace, the magnatess tackled my husband and kicked his legs from under him. Bemariq hit the ground. Sitolytta's foot was on my husband's throat. I stopped in my tracks. "Don't move," she demanded. "Or I'll end the torrent of profanity pouring out of his mouth for good." My mouth twisted into a snarl. I would kill her the moment I could, and her god would watch me do it. A pained gasp from my husband's mouth snapped me out of my crimson haze. "Bem, are you hurt?" I asked. "Just a little fall, my honeydew." Bemariq's hands inched towards the woman's leg. The magnatess applied a little pressure on Bemariq's throat. He gurgled from agony and fright. "I have little desire to kill you two," Sitolytta said. "Get out of that suit." "Don't!" Bemariq yelled. "You need to get out of here." "Fool!" I snapped and pulled off my gown. "I'm not going to leave you here." I pressed the lump to unlatch my suit. It hissed and cracked open around me. I stepped on the wet floor. The room around us was small and clammy. In the middle of the vile pool, the eyeless creature huddled on the blossom throne, bereft of any signs of power or even life. Sitolytta's eyes lingered on my lower half. She grinned. "Jaan intelligence was wrong about one thing, at least." I sneered, picked up my gown and slipped into it. The magnatess glided to my carapace suit in three weightless steps and kicked the husk into the black water of the pool. Bemariq stood up, and I hurried to my husband. Even if his throat wasn't as much as bruised, I had to fight back tears as I hugged him. "I'm alright." Bemariq patted my back and moved me to his side. In an overly calm voice, he asked: "What are you trying to achieve, magnatess?" The magnatess sauntered to the edge of the pool. "Your jealousy of the Jaan excellence keeps you in denial in His presence. Yet the Censor does not stir to my pleas. I need your help to awaken Him." "I will need equipment and my team," Bemariq said. "To make sure your... god is not injured or insulted by my inept administrations." "Neither of us will leave this place," Sitolytta said. "You have your assistant right there. Get to work." Bemariq let go of me and walked to the woman. "What do you except me to do with our bare hands and the simplest of tools?" Like a dancer, Sitolytta leapt into the air and spun around with her leg outstretched. Her shin smashed into the side of Bemariq's head. I screamed, but Bemariq merely staggered a step to the side. With uncanny precision, Sitolytta had barely touched my husband's head. Bemariq forced himself back into a straight posture. I clung to him and tried to see, if he was hurt. He brushed me aside and said: "I'm alright." "Good. I need your brain intact," the magnatess stated. "But your wife is less essential. Say, associate, what part of her you think is the least important?" My husband frowned. "I refuse to answer." Sitolytta grinned. "Oh, not even 'her hair'?" Anger in me boiled over my fear and threatened to cloud my reason. I had to control myself. Losing the shreds of my cool would do no good. Outside, the magnatess hadn't been particularly unreasonable. The carapace suit and more importantly the room must have addled her brain. "You don't have to hurt me," I said, doing my best to sound like I tried --and failed-- to appear confident. "We'll cooperate." Bemariq sat on his haunches at the edge of the pool. He kept a hand on the side of his skull. "In any case, we need the Censor's help to leave this place." I took a deep breath. Sitolytta would be able to snap me like a twig, but I had to unbalance her. I sneered and said: "Or are you planning to stay, magnatess?" Sitolytta scoffed. "Cut the wit." "Magnatess, what have you tried to do already?" Bemariq asked. "I have tried raising my voice." The magnatess rolled her eyes. "The walls seem quite featureless beyond the decorative engravings, but I'm sure they are filled with machinery." "Have you tried to get closer and give the Censor a good slap?" I asked. My voice had a hint of waver in it. I couldn't quite ignore the lingering dread in that ancient place. "That works on other equipment." Sitolytta glowered at me. "Your irreverence threatens my ability to keep you as motivation to your husband." I made an aggravatingly cute smile. "Just trying to see, if the Censor is sensitive to verbal disrespect, magnatess." "Please..." Bemariq muttered absent-mindedly. His eyes were locked in the apparition of the blossom throne. He dipped his substance detector into the pool. "Stale water, with tiny traces of non-toxic compounds. I must wonder, if this cavity really was a mere water feature." My husband's usual professional calm --a sure sign of his deepening excitement-- infected me. This truly was a find of a lifetime. His hard work had been rewarded. I said: "The hollow could have held machinery, which has rotten, slunk or been eaten away." I gestured to the rotten remains of root-like growth, which had broken the stone floor. "All this piping probably wasn't for decoration." Bemariq frowned. "That makes it less likely that we can restore the function to this hall, what ever it actually was." "A god does not require mortal machines to live," Sitolytta declared. Her voice brought my mind back to focus. Archaeology had to wait until we were safe. I stepped in between Bemariq and the woman. "Then what do you expect him to do? A miracle? You, magnatess, yourself are better suited for such deeds, considering your exalted heritage and bright piety." Sitolytta's smirk soured into a scowl. "So, you deem your husband useless?" "No. He just needs more help. If you yourself can't get our team here, maybe you could go ask the giant, who guided us?" "That's a good idea," Sitolytta agreed. "Go get it." "Oh, but the guide does only obey people in carapace suits, and you forced me to take off mine." I made a smarmy smile. "You should go. We have nowhere to run." The magnatess's wasn't coherent enough to keep all of the unease from her expression. My suspicions, as of why she had lingered in an empty room doing nothing, seemed to be correct. I took a step closer to the woman. "Sirin?" Bemariq stood up. "What are you--" "Why are you afraid?" I asked Sitolytta. "The god's presence will surely remain outside th--" A yelp of fright escaped my mouth. The magnatess had my wrist in her hand. I gritted my teeth to stop my pain from bursting out as a howl. "Stop!" Bemariq yelled. "Don't hurt her!" "You little..." Sitolytta snarled. I spoked between my teeth: "You think that blessed awe will be replaced by justified doubt the moment you le--" I screamed from the agony of my twisting arm. Bemariq took a step to help me, but Sitolytta kicked his legs from under him. The magnatess spoke in a trained low voice of a stateswoman. "You blaspheme like your husband. Thus you'll pay." "Prove me wrong first." I tried to turn my grimace into a smile. "Your satisfaction would be doubled." Sitolytta twisted my arm more. Not enough to break bone, but enough to make me wail. She let go and strode towards the entrance tunnel. Bemariq made a poor attempt to stand. I knelt to stop his further efforts. "Stay still and relax," I said. He looked at my arm, which I kept pressed against my chest, and said: "Is it bad?" "No." I showed him that I could still smile despite the pain. "I'll wait for the pulsing ache to fade and go fetch my carapace suit from the drink." He turned my smile. "That was foolhardy." "No. Sitolytta wasn't going to hurt me. She thought I had gone through what she had." Bemariq's jaw dropped. "Oh." A howl, filled with despair, carried from the entrance tunnel. Both I and Bemariq stared into the dark doorway. "Bem, could you get the husk instead?" I helped my husband back to his feet. "I should make sure the magnatess stays away from here." "Are you sure going near her safe?" he asked. "It's certainly safer than waiting for her to storm back here. Did you notice, where in the water my suit dropped?" "I did." Bemariq pulled off his shirt, even though it was close to as soaked as it could be. The wet coldness of the room did little to douse the fire, which the sight his torso stoked in me. I nodded and hurried to the tunnel. CHAPTER 3 What was left of the menacing she-fiend was a hunched form sitting against a wall. "Do you..." Sitolytta let out a sniff. "Do you enjoy my misery?" "Yes." It was useless to lie, even if a strange sense of womanly kinship tempered my derision. "However, at this moment I'd prefer you in full control of yourself, to any amount of smug satisfaction." The woman took a deep breath and let out a strained chuckle. "How horrible... embarrassing this is. First this suit makes me--" She choked in her words. I crouched next to her. "Let me try take it off." "Useless. It will just cling to me again." "It's a worth a try. The guide seems to scare the feral suits, so let's go to him to remove yours." In a ridiculous gesture of empathy, I let Sitolytta grab my unhurt arm and pull herself standing. The guide was still in its place. I poked through Sitolytta's wrist until I found the deformed control lumps. Her suit sighed and wrapped open. I pulled the magnatess away, as the suit stirred to life. It spoke in a stilted imitation of the Jaan tongue. "Stay put!" I commanded in Jaanish. "Deactivate! Shut down!" The feral suit ignored my words and took an unsteady step towards us. My hand was still clasped Sitolytta's, so I pulled her with me as I backed away. Without a sound, the guide reached to the suit and grabbed it. In few moments, the husk was in three squirming pieces. I closed my gaping mouth and bowed to the guide. "Thank you." The undressed Sitolytta was in a bleary-eyed stupor. I pulled her with me back into the tunnel. "Here," I said and pulled off my gown. The indignity of nudity hurt a woman of rank more than it did a scoundrel like me. "Put this on. It'll keep you warm." The garment was wet, so the lie was obvious. Sitolytta gave me a tired smirk and put the gown on. She wrapped her arms around herself in an childish self-hug. The magnatess straightened her posture and cleared her expression. "I must thank you. Even though your actions are purely self-serving." "That they are. I do hope a Jaan magnatess has enough honour to remember gratitude." Sitolytta's shoulders slumped. "Any favours I owe are useful only if I manage to get out of here." "Don't worry. All of us are getting out of here." "Your optimism is unconvincing but welcome." It wasn't optimism, but self-denial keeping the terror at bay. Yet I smiled, and headed back to the Censor's chamber. Sitolytta followed to the threshold. She returned my nod with a grim expression. Without her, I traipsed onward. The dizzy sensation hit me like a wall, but I couldn't sense any significant change in my perception. Bemariq was still swimming in the pool. My skin shivered from the wet air. I glanced down on my nude form. It was a shame the circumstances stopped us from exploring my altered form. "Can't find it?" I shouted. My husband lifted his head in the water. "This water... it's too deep for me to stand... and the bottom is filled with roots... but I think my... my foot touched the husk." He disappeared below the inky surface, and I went to the edge of the pool. For the moment I was alone in the dripping silence. Yet thirty centuries looked at me from the walls and the eyeless face of the Censor. It was impossible to know, what attitude the original inhabitants had taken to nudity. In an irrational fit of modesty, I sat on my haunches and curled myself together. Bemariq broke the surface and gasped for air. He floundered, while struggling to keep the husk from sinking again. I reached for the suit and dragged it on the floor. "This water is nicely warm." Bemariq swam to me and took support from the side of the pool, where he had an ample viewpoint to my crouched form. I dropped my hand between my legs to cover myself from his gaze. His eyes gestured at my naked body, and he smirked. "Are you coming for a swim too?" "No. I gave my gown to the magnatess." "Is she alright?" "She's back to her senses, for better or worse." I frowned. "Now get out, so we can leave." "What's the hurry? First, I think I'll check on the Censor." "I thought we were supposed to wait for our team and equipment before studying anything." "That was when the magnatess was about to blow up. Besides, could we even leave without the access granted by the Censor?" While running around wasn't likely to be productive, at leat we would have been away from the Censor's chamber. I could also wear my protective --not to mention warm-- suit. Try as I might, I couldn't convince myself that the Nexal Censor was truly dead. "Alright," I said. "What are you going to try?" "First I'll--" Bemariq shuddered. "A fish brushed my leg." "Come out!" I yelped. "It's just a--" Bemariq smirk was twisted by fright, and he disappeared under the surface. I screamed his name. A thick root emerged from the water, with Bemariq in its coils. The man let out gurgling gasps, as he was pressed against the stone floor. The tip of the root slithered to touch Bemariq's forehead. He let out a whine. The root opened into tendrils, which engulfed the man's skull. I tried to pull the root off, but it was as solid as stone. Bemariq fumbled for my hand. "Relax, honeydew." His voice was muffled. "Stay calm. I'm fine." "No, you aren't!" I took his hand in both of mine and swallowed the lump in my throat. It wasn't the time to panic. "What is it doing?" "Well, it's not crush--" Bemariq let out long gasp. His body shuddered. "Bem!" I squeezed his hand. "Say something, please!" "Establishing direct neural interface," Bemariq said in a hollow voice. I let out a despondent whine and grabbed the root, but it didn't move. On its pedestal, the Censor sat motionless. A quick glance revealed my husk was still next to me. The emanating awe --no matter how amplified-- wouldn't be enough to stop me from helping my husband. I turned, but a hand clasped mine. Not in shackle-grip of restrain, but a gentle hold. A plea. "Bem..." I twisted my hand from his blind grasp and placed myself into the insides of the carapace husk. The suit hissed and slowly closed itself around me. Heartbeat filled my chest. The suit must have sensed my agitated state, as without any prompting it fully enclose my head. It wasn't just me in the darkness. Through the impenetrable mask, I saw a cascade of squirming light. Fervent pulsing blood crimson. Sickly yellow- green. Imperious and unquestionable silver of gods. By doubting the divinity of the chamber, I had sinned in my thoughts. Grovelling on the ground might have saved my soul. I was too insignificant to have the right to question the ancients. Without the tools bred from the technology of our betters, I would have been nothing. A confused pitiful morose aimless boy. If I had never entered this hoary abode, I wouldn't have been a full wife for my husband. Bemariq. He needed my help. My vision opened into the room. The light of the Nexal Censor was dimmed, but remained as the scent of rotten roses and the whine of mad flutes. I hadn't planned to drop to my knees, to worship and beg for forgiveness. It was the suit, filling my mind with dizzying glory. "Suit!" I screamed into the mask and pressed the override button. "Obey me! Don't enhance any outside influences. Block them all!" The chamber was still as a tomb, the eyes of the Censor as blind as they seemed. After a moment of catching my breath, I could hear my own mind. Bemariq lay still under the massive root. I grabbed the thick snaky trunk, but even my suit's strength wasn't enough to move it. "Suit," I said. "Let me speak to the Censor." A spike from my forefinger stabbed into the bark-hide of the root. I had hurt the ancient machine, even though I should have revered it. I snarled. Those tendrils of guilt invading my mind weren't mine. "Block everything save speech!" I yelled. "Sirin?" a distorted voice said from behind me. It had familiar cadence. "Bemariq?" "How are you here?" he asked. "Did the roots get you too?" "No, I intruded into yours." "Are you--" A hoary presence shifted between the thoughts of me and Bemariq. A flash of green exasperation judged me. My mind was pushed away, but I held firm. "Let go off my husband!" I demanded. The pressure faded. A sense of endless ennui replaced it, accompanied by a vision. In the ground and under the seas rotted nerves, which had once seen all and connected the world in joyous harmony. Pride of the past turned into deep lingering distress for the future. "I don't care about your sentiments!" I twisted root in my hands, to little effect. "Let us go!" "Sirin, calm down," Bemariq said. "The Nexal Censor merely wants to talk to me." "About what?" "About fixing this facility," Bemariq's speech was calm but stilted. "Its neural paths have deteriorated too much. A fresh nervous system must take its place. Mine." I fought back the desire to scream. "What would that entail?" Images filled my mind. My husband was connected to the blossom throne. Pipes squirmed into his flesh, and his nerves spread out of his body into the rock around him. His preserved flesh slowly calcified into stone until he was fully part of the facility. Just like those bones in the hallways. "No!" I shouted into the stifling mask. "What about me-- our life together?" "We are insignificant compared to this, Sirin." Bemariq's voice lacked all assuring qualities. "Our world is rotting away. Our blindly derivative technology is a dead end, from which we cannot escape. We need the knowledge of the starfarers, fresh from the source. I must be an interface between the ancient wisdom and our workers. Such is my duty." The mental pathway was filled with languid approval of the words from associate Bemariq of Usinilim. "What good can we do?" I demanded. "This place is broken! We don't know, how to fix anything here!" "We can learn." My suit creaked, as I instinctively tightened my grip of the root. "You are just as addled as the magnatess was!" A bar of molten metal lashed at me from the mind of Bemariq. "Addled? This place is the culmination of my life's work! Not just mine, but zef- Wared's and that of every seeker before us. I won't-- I can't let this opportunity pass me by." "You wouldn't, even if you left!" I did my best to keep my anger out of my voice. "This facility has stood for generations. It won't collapse in the span of a little consideration. Please, Bemariq. Postpone... this, for the sake of us both." The connection was cold and dead long enough to hurt my chest. I swallowed the lump in my throat. "I love you." "Very well." Bemariq's voice was thin. "I might have been overly eager." I directed my words towards the presence, which I assumed was the Censor. "Give us access and let us leave. Bemariq will return, after he has considered the proposition." After a prolonged moment, an amaranth lance of disapproval stabbed at my mind. I brushed the mental discomfort aside. "We need a few days for us to be together--" "Sirin, if the--" "Bem, please." I returned my concentration to the Censor. "We need time, so we can place everything in order. You can't see the outside, but believe me, things are complicated out there. I can't organise the necessary preparations without Bemariq. Surely you can wait a moment longer? It will be just a blink of an eye in the time you have spend here." If the Censor could read my mind, and from it know, how I was merely stalling for time, it didn't indicate so. Instead, a hollow release of tension --almost like a sigh-- filled the connection. Bemariq let out a groan. The root in my hands shifted, and I relinquished my grip. With splash the appendage disappeared into the pool. I turned to the Censor. "Grant me full access, so I won't be denied." My suit chirped. "Full access authorisation acquired." "Thank you." I bowed towards the shape on the throne, grabbed the bundle of Bemariq's clothes and pulled him up from the ground. Without looking back, I dragged him out of the chamber. The magnatess was leaning on the wall of the tunnel, in a dejected and wet state. She gave my naked husband's body a look-over, but her heart wasn't in the leering. I couldn't find even a shred of jealousy in myself. "Sirin," Bemariq began. I pressed his clothes into him. "Dress up." Bemariq took the bundle with clear hesitation. He nodded at Sitolytta. "I should stay. If I leave, there's no guarantee that the Jaan will allow me to come back." "The magnatess promised us safe conduct," I said. "Are you ready to trust the Jaan?" Bemariq's eyes glinted with anger that wasn't directed at just the magnatess. My fists squeezed together. The Jaan were capricious, but my first priority was to get us both of that place intact. I wasn't going to let my husband sacrifice himself and our life together for a rotten god's broken dream. Sitolytta moved her hair in an odd gesture of disinterest. "I don't want anything to do with this place." "Bem." I removed the mask from my face. "I need you... your help to make the arrangements at the camp." Bemariq frowned. For a frightening flash, I considered forcing him to obey my wishes with the strength of my suit. But before I could act, he let out a tired sigh. "Very well," he said. "Let us go." Along the way, I asked the giant to guide and protect us. "Where's your marksman?" I asked Sitolytta. She shrugged. "At the tram, I should think." "Is he alive?" I glanced at Bemariq, whose eyes were glued to the floor. I reached with my hand toward his, but he didn't take notice. "He was, when I left him," the magnatess said. No feral machinery barred our way to the tram. The marksman Hyssi lay on the floor, all covered by a sickly auxiliary skin. I ripped the half-rotten suit off him and helped him to his feet. For a moment Hyssi gasped in frantic fit, but he managed to collect most of his calm. The shaking of his hands eased, after Sitolytta picked up the dropped needler and handed it to the soldier. Hyssi straightened his posture but the young man's eyes were bleary. "I apologise, magnatess." Sitolytta patted Hyssi's shoulder. "You did as well as anyone could, marksman." The marksman nodded, but his mouth twitched. The tram obeyed my command and jerked into motion. We were safe. Bemariq's eyes stared into nowhere, and the frown of his lips pricked my heart. I moved closer to him. He lifted his gaze and smiled at me, yet the expression lacked true mirth. If he was glad to be with me, it was overshadowed by doubt. My insides tied themselves into an agonising knot. Even though I had saved Bemariq from an unpredictable sacrifice, he must have seen me as manacles, which dragged him down. In the stony countenance of my husband was the withering of our love. If he decided to stay with me, he would always question, if it had been the right decision. I couldn't expect him to choose me over the world. A sour wish filled my mind; if the Jaan turned out to be duplicitous, they could stop Bemariq without him having to blame me. I recoiled from the thought, but not as much as a dutiful wife should have. The Jaan soldiers were still waiting for us. They stood in wary attention, but didn't comment on our appearance. "Still stuck here, it seems," Sitolytta said. "Yes, magnatess," the officer said. "They did try to blast their way in. To little effect." Bemariq chuckled. "My plan worked." Researcher ni Salng stepped past the soldiers. He asked my husband in Roluish, what had happened. Bemariq dismissed question with a promise to explain everything in detail later. The outer vault doors obeyed my command. Ancient stone groaned to revealed a muddy crater. The doors themselves had no sign of violence beyond charred stains. More Jaan soldiers hurried to us. "Now, magnatess," Bemariq said. "Will you take your leave?" "No." Sitolytta turned to her soldiers. "Aim your guns at the associate." Bemariq sighed between gritted teeth. "You promised!" I took a step towards the magnatess. She wasn't perturbed, but the twitchy movements of the soldiers convinced me not to make any quick movements. I continued: "What about your obligation?" The woman smirked. "My 'obligation' is fulfilled a good way by not killing you both right this instant. Rest of my gratitude manifests itself by not forcing the indignity of undressing in public on you. Go take off that suit and return in plain clothes. Me and your husband will be waiting at the main tent." Jaan soldiers swarmed the campsite, but in my home, I was given privacy. Daring plans crossed my mind, but nothing would have made our situation any better. My selfish insistence had already ruined it all. I put on work clothes and headed to the main tent. Though my legs were heavy, I tried not to show the weight inside me. Sitolytta was at a table, with Bemariq sitting in rigid posture on the other side. A strange mixture of relief, disappointment and anger flashed on his face at the sight of me, before disappearing into a cold stare. "Good. You managed to join us." The magnatess smiled wide at me and turned to an officer. "Put her carapace in a strongbox." "Do you want it taken take to the ship?" the officer asked. "No, I won't steal it. Put in under guard and make sure lady Usinilim can't get to it." Sitolytta dismissed the officer with a gesture and turned towards my husband. "Associate Bemariq. Here is my plan. The vault will be sealed. I will negotiate with Roluan authorities to make sure nobody ever enters there." Bemariq clutched the edge of the table. "You would seal away all th--" Sitolytta lifted her hand. "I very well saw, what was there. Unpredictable terrors from the past. I act in service to humanity." My husband lifted his shaking hands in a gesture of wrathful impotence. With a few breathes, he managed to outwardly calm himself. "Give me the key," Sitolytta commanded. Bemariq scowled. The magnatess smirked. "If you don't feel like complying, I will have her shot." She gestured at me. "Afterwards soldiers will take your key." They would just beat him up, if he resisted. Yet I couldn't urge him to obey; that would have been taking the Jaan's side. My chest hurt from the dismay I had caused to my husband. The pain was made worse by how I hadn't done anything I could truly regret. Bemariq opened his satchel and took out the ancient key device. "This is not over. The Conglomerate will be interest to hear, what's in there." Sitolytta shrugged. "That will be a problem for the future." All rights are waived on this text, CC0.