Youth is Wasted on the Young
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Even after Kawa had stopped bleeding, Mother kept her in the hut. Finally, a group of women led her to the women's bathing pool as if she didn't know the way. There, she removed the wad of dry grass from her place; it didn't have any blood on it at all. She buried it on the bank. When she came out of the pool, Mother gave her a new skirt and reminded her that she must never remove it except in her own home or at the bathing pool. No more dips in the sea for her. She had known all that for years, but listened politely; women do.
That night was her menstrual feast, but people paid more attention to Father and Mother. That was all right; what she really had been looking forward to was entry into the youth house. She walked in the next morning and looked around. Except for being built on the ground with a fire pit actually inside, it wasn't all that special in daylight.
It wasn't all that special that evening, either. The moon was bright; the men and boys were going sea fishing, and the few people in the youth house were all young men gathering their spears. The next night was another feast. She usually looked forward to those, but she'd still not seen a party in the youth house.
The next night there was one. The fire pit was piled with driftwood, the young single people gathered in the house after dinner, and the dance began. The dances were all ones she knew, and nobody commented when she joined the girls' line. Aside from the smoke, the first hour of dancing passed like a dance on the beach, the girls in a line with their backs to the fire, and the boys in another line facing them. Occasionally, one or another would step forward and try to perform a fancier step.
As time went on, however, there were more solo dancers; they seemed to pair up, and Kawa was not impressed with their steps. When the beat changed into a simpler one, an older girl took Kawa's hand and led her out of the line. It was Itong, a cousin on her mother's side.
Selan left the boys' line at the same time, and Itong delivered Kawa into his hands. "Was I that bad a dancer?" Kawa asked with a blush.
"Not at all. Sit here and watch." The lines were almost breaking up, although the clapping went on as always. Some came out to sit on the floor as she had; a few more advanced into soloist positions. The dance was even simpler; she could certainly have alternated feet and shaken her hips in time to that beat. Then one girl removed her skirt; the boy in front of her removed his loin cloth.
Kawa had seen naked men often enough; nobody wore clothes into the sea. And she'd giggled at boys whose boy-sticks had made their loincloths stick out. But she had only guessed what that erection looked like. Now she saw one bobbing up and down and shaking from side to side. And the naked girl in front of him was rolling her hips towards him and back.
She'd seen many flirtatious dances, but nothing like this was done in front of everybody on the beach. When she could pull her eyes away, she saw that other couples were dancing naked for each other. Finally, one of the girls led her partner out of the line. Others followed, and Kawa saw motions in the dimness. She didn't know where to hide her eyes.
"Don't worry," Selan whispered. "You're one of us. You can't tell what you see, but you are allowed to see everything." He cupped her tiny breast with his hand, and watched over her shoulder.
She couldn't quite see the faces of the nearest couple; they were directly between her and the firelight. The boy knelt down, his erection outlined as clearly as his profile. The girl squatted on his thighs and then lay back. Kawa suddenly recognized her as Molung, a girl from the other side of the village. The boy put one hand on her breast, somewhat like Selan had done to her--although Molung's breast was larger than the hand. His other hand was between her legs. Someone began clapping again, a slow and simple rhythm. Kawa joined in without taking her eyes off the couple.
They stayed in that position for some minutes, and then--without either saying a word--the boy bent down over Molung. He raised her hips a little from his thighs and then straightened up. Molung's hands were between them, and Kawa had no doubt where the man-stick had gone.
Her own place was itchy just from watching, and she couldn't guess what Molung was feeling in hers. As she watched from a few feet away, the boy moved back and forth, almost as he had done in the dance. Selan's man-stick was pressing against her, feeling much larger than the boy's looked. Kawa was afraid for a moment that he wanted to put it in her, but he just held her and watched with her.
At first, she could see Molung's hair as darkness around which the firelight glinted off her skin. Gradually, though, she raised her legs and wrapped them around the boy. Not long after, Kawa heard both of them gasping in time with their motion. Similar sounds came from around her, accompanied by a few moans. Kawa had heard gasps in her own house often enough, but--even when she had peeked--all that she could see from Mother and Father were some vague motions in the darkness.
Then the boy grunted and thrust harder. Molung kicked her feet in the air. Then the couple came to a rest in the same position in which they had started. She heard grunts and gasps from around the house, but they seemed fewer.
"Thank you, Selan," Itong said from the darkness behind her. She blushed over what she had seen and what Itong knew she had seen. But that wasn't interesting Selan and Itong. He let go of Kawa and moved back as he sat up. Itong removed her skirt as he removed his loincloth. His man-stick, if not quite as large as it had seemed pressed against her, was larger than the boy's. The way he was sitting, Kawa could see it directly between his legs.
"I'm always ready to please you," Selan said. Itong stood with her back towards Kawa and her legs on either side of his. These were not silhouetted against the fire. The light was on them, and someone threw another two pieces of driftwood on the fire. From her position, Kawa could see up between Itong's legs. Her lower lips were prominent and parted slightly. Selan must have had an even better view. He ran his hand up her thigh until he reached those lips. Kawa could see him fingering them, petting them, parting them. She could see them becoming shinier in the firelight, as if they were covered by sweat.
Finally, Itong sat down in Selan's lap. She reached for his man-stick and guided it within the lips that Selan was still holding open. Kawa couldn't quite see the lips when the two lovers were joined, but she could still see the root of Selan's man-stick and the sack underneath. Every time that the couple rolled away from her, the man-stick came out part way, and she could see that it was shinier yet.
People took up the clapping again, all around the room, a very simple slow beat. The couple seemed to move in time with that clapping. Selan fell back until he was lying down, and Itong moved up and down over him. She sat up very straight and shuddered as she lost the beat. A moment later, Selan bucked upward raising them both off the floor. He grunted, moved in that impossible position, and then collapsed. Itong fell on top of him, and Kawa could see his man-stick clearly in her place, and then see it come out.
Some of the youths made their way home after the fire died down. Kawa wasn't going to be one of them; far too long had she looked forward to the right to stay in the youth house.
Gradually she got used to that right. She'd drop in to see what was happening several times a day, or duck inside to escape the new duties flooding in on her. A few days after her first night in the house, she ducked inside to find a group of boys who had stolen some palm liquor; bad boys were always doing that. They offered her a cup, and she drank it. She started to feel strange and ducked out. Several girls had suggested that it was a bad idea to be the only girl with a group of boys.
Once she arrived to find two young boys peeking in the door. Almost sure that they were too young to be allowed inside, she challenged them. "What do you know anyway?" one asked. "You're not any older than we are." But an older boy came along just then to twist two ears. The young ones scampered off. This became the subject of conversation that night.
"Mutchin is way too young," one of the older girls said. "He's just his brother's shadow. But why not Popoli. The young girls were teasing him the other day about the bulge in his loincloth. It was a decent size, and he seems to be like that all the time now."
"I think that Topal is older," another said. "He's certainly a bit taller. If we let a boy in, it should be Topal." Many chimed in about which was older, without any decision being reached.
"We have other business first," one of the oldest boys finally contributed. Several of the older girls chimed in agreement. Everyone could speak; most did. But the older youths carried the day. And the oldest girls counted more heavily than the boys their own age, since the women as old as the oldest boys were married and out of the youth house.
There were usually more boys than girls, because of this and because some girls were kept at home with duties or their blood. Boys drummed for the dances, boys dropped out of their line and clapped the beat, and there was always a boy to hold Kawa if she wanted that. Most of those had some sort of relationship with girls of Kawa's kindred.
The night after the discussion, Kawa stayed in the line until she was exhausted. Those who planned to be dancing at the end made sure that they had rest in the middle, but she needn't worry about that. She left the girls' line and dropped near Luwil, one of the oldest boys. He put one hand on her arm, and waited for her response. She leaned back against him while she caught her breath. For a while they just watched the dancers pair off or drop out.
Then his hand trailed over her torso to find her nipple. She had become used to this familiarity, and usually enjoyed it. Instead of cupping her tiny breast, Luwil teased her nipple with his fingers until it stiffened. This felt even better. By the time the dancers were removing their garments, he had moved back and forth from one nipple to another several times. The teasing made the dances more exciting; the suggestive motions of the naked dancers made her tickled nipples feel more erotic.
As one couple settled close to them, Luwil left the nipples alone to stroke her leg. At first she missed the tickles, but soon his touch on her inner thigh was just as exciting. He lifted her skirt as his hand went higher. She worried that people might see between her legs, but she realized that no one would look while naked bodies coupled among them. The girl in front of them had tired of the boy's teasing. She grasped his man-stick and settled herself on it. As she did this, Luwil's hand reached the top of Kawa's thigh. Rather than stopping, it continued to her place. She stiffened. His hand stopped when she did, but it did not retreat.
The couple in front of them were moving more rapidly now, and she could hear their gasps separately from those of other couples in the room. She could feel Luwil's breath on her neck. Nothing would happen, dozens would punish any attempt at rape. As she relaxed, his hand moved again. The fingers which had teased her nipples did the same to her outer lips. It was even more exciting, or was that excitement due to the moan that she heard from somewhere in the darkness behind her? Now Luwil's finger had found the entrance to her place and was rubbing around that area. When the girl in front of her stiffened in satisfaction, Luwil rubbed upward in her slit. It was as if she'd been hit by a lightning bolt.
She stiffened almost as much as the girl had. Then Luwil removed his finger and pressed her back against him. She felt the hardness of his man-stick press against her back. They lay like that until the couple separated and lay down together. Then Luwil moved back a few feet and lay down apart from her.
The day after that experience, Kawa felt tender down there and queasy in her stomach. She blamed Luwil a little and stayed home from the youth house that night. The next day, however, her blood came again. It hadn't been Luwil's fault after all, and her experience with him had been exciting. When she was clean again, she went back with a new hunger.
She'd always been aware that most of the couples went into the shadows near the walls. Some even dropped out of the dance separately and fully dressed, and then met at the edges. Watching those seemed less polite, and certainly less instructive, than watching the couples near the light of the fire. That night, however, there was enough sound from one corner to draw the attention of everyone who wasn't totally engaged right then.
Itong, it finally became clear, had found Sedan making love to another girl, Pindropol by name. A boy was angry, too, but Kawa didn't recognize his voice. Most of the youths went home that night instead of staying. The next day, sides were forming. Kawa was grateful for Sedan's gentleness that first night, but she had to side with Itong, her relative.
By the time that the quarrel was old, several boys had held Kawa under her skirt. Luwil had done so twice more, more excitingly than the other boys. One night, there was a large supply of palm liquor that some boys had stolen. Kawa got a sip during the dance and another sip after dropping out. Soon the only girl in the dance was Aluan, whose menstruation feast had been the one before Kawa's. One boy brought Aluan a cup of the palm liquor, much more than Kawa had received. She danced more fiercely after the drink. Soon boys began dropping out, some because other youths urged them.
Luwil was one of the six boys still in the dance. He removed his loincloth, and Kawa could see his hard man-stick bouncing up and down. The others followed suit. They were dancing in a circle around Aluan. She danced against their beat, a complex solo. Then each of them held out a ball of betel. Aluan chose the ball held by Kalowin, a tall boy with smooth skin. The other boys formed a circle around the two of them as she chewed the betel while still dancing. Another cup of the palm liquor was passed to Kalowin, who held it so Aluan could drink. Finally, he removed her skirt.
She put her hand in his and followed him to a low wooden platform made from a split and smoothed log. The other dancers dropped out of the line, and Luwil moved behind Kawa. He turned her until they had a good view of the platform. She was sitting on her heels, with Luwil squatting right behind her.
Kalowin bent over and whispered in Aluan's ear, then held her against him as his hands roved over her. As they did, Luwil's hands were all over Kawa as well. Only one drum was playing, a monotonous slow beat; hands took up that beat, and Kawa joined in. The couple stood like that until Kalowin whispered in Aluan's ear once more. Then he called "Hands."
Two girls stepped forward, and each took one of Aluan's hands. They walked her backwards until she was sitting on the very edge of the log. The drum beat sped slightly. Kalowin knelt between Aluan's legs and began licking and sucking at her nipples. His hand went between her legs. Slowly, the girls holding her hands eased Aluan back on the log. Kalowin leaned forwards, keeping his mouth on her tiny breasts. The drum was pounding louder and more slowly, and they were all clapping along. Kalowin straightened slowly, his head coming away from Aluan and his loins moving forward between her legs. His man-stick must have been touching her by now.
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