Andersonville 21 Sins of the father Sins of the son
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Edna Rose wiped peanut butter off her fingers. She'd reached deep into the jar to get the last few streaks and had stroked them into plain white bread. Tempted to lick her fingers, she quickly discarded the notion as silly. A dishrag she'd used all morning served her purpose. Unmanicured nails drove a corner of the cloth under other nails. Soon, they were spotless, but her hands smelled of dish soap. She rinsed them. Her only daughter, Janie, (not Jane or Janice but Janie) skipped into the kitchen.
"Is my sandwich ready, Mommy?" She was only seven years old.
"Yes, hon. I'll bring it to the living room." She picked up two plates, and five steps took her there. If Edna had been any short than her 5 feet, four steps would have done the job. The house was paid for, but it was so small it contained only one of each: kitchen, living room, bedroom, bathroom. The longest section of the house was the hall that led from living room to kitchen to bathroom to their bedroom. That was it, and Edna was glad for it. When her husband had died, nearly four years ago, his life insurance had been just enough to save their home from the bank. Edna worked two menial jobs, both part-time, to cover Janie's and her food, clothing, utilities, and property tax. Their income was supplemented with food stamps, Ralph's social security, and an occasional check from Janie's uncle, Pete.
Mother and daughter sat on the couch and shared a TV tray for their table.
"What did you do this morning?"
"I met a boy."
Edna didn't realize her daughter was interested in boys. At the age of seven, Edna had been a sworn hater of males, excluding her bother and father of course. A few years later, she was sneaking kisses with fifth graders behind trees in their school yard. The same school was preparing her daughter for greatness. The trees were gone, and the yard was cement, but reading, writing, and arithmetic were eternal gods worshipped by the poor to help break the cycle.
"What's his name?"
"Kelly. Isn't that a girls name?"
"Yes, and it's a boy's name too. You and me have boy's names, Ed and Jan."
"Eew, I wanna different name."
"I'll call you stinky pants, if you like."
"You said, you'd never call me that after I stopped wearing nappies."
"How old is Kelly? Where does he live?" It was just idle banter to the single mom.
"His family moved in down the street. He told me, I was the only one his age, so he must be seven or eight or nine, Mommy."
"Do you like him?"
"No!" Somethings never changed. "But he does know funny things."
"Like what?"
"I'm not suppose to tell. He said, you'd get mad."
"Janie." It wasn't a question.
Her daughter giggled. The child's eyes sparkled at the thought of betraying the new kid on the block.
"Daddy took Mommy upstairs to play. Like a doctor he checked her health all day. Behind locked doors, but noisy as a drum, three years later, she came down with a son!"
Edna gasp. Her body tried to laugh, but her head stifled it's outburst. This was a pretty strange nursery rhyme, for a seven year old, and for even a nine year old!
"What else did this boy say?" He wasn't Kelly anymore, to the concerned mother.
"Mommy, don't get mad. I promised him, I wouldn't tell."
Suddenly, Edna remembered the first time she played doctor. She'd been eight at the time, and it had been with another girl.
"Okay." She grinned to forgive her daughter's transgression. "I won't get mad, but did he say anything else?"
"He said he thought you looked pretty." A slight frown invaded Janie's innocent expression. "I've finished my sandwich. I'm going back outside to play."
"Yes honey. Come back before it gets dark."
Pretty? Edna contemplated. She supposed she looked decent enough, not that she really tried to dress up. She didn't have time to worry about looking good, make-up, or clothes she couldn't wear everyday. They didn't have the money to, either. She owned a few house-dresses and a couple duplicates of her work clothes, uniforms that made anyone wearing them, invisible. Still, customers regularly gave her a second look, and that was enough to please Edna. The love of her life had proved to be Janie. Her husband, although a decent man and father, she'd picked him more for survival than love. It was indeed a cruel world, and the first man who treated her right had won her hand. The joy she felt at raising her daughter was more love than she had expected from life. It was sufficient, she told herself. Edna smiled, thinking about Kelly's idle compliment. Silly boy!
Late that afternoon, the front door swung open and four bare feet raced indoors. It was summer. Wet grass led to damp carpet, on more than one occasion. Edna was getting ready for work. She'd already called their neighbor, Lorraine Stevens, to watch little Janie. The neighborhood was decent that way. Tucking her hair under her work cap, she ran into the invading children.
"Mommy, this is Kelly!" Janie exclaimed, after bumping into her mother. She hugged the wide hips blocking her, and she pressed the side of her head against Edna's tummy.
The mom was quick to notice the boy who'd managed to avoid further collisions. Slightly taller than Janie, Kelly had that rascally scamp quality with unkept hair, smudges on his face and clothes, and eyes that shined like the moon. They scanned every inch of her body, unabashedly. Edna felt a strange urge to blush. For an adolescent, he wasn't quite cute, but he had a charm to his looks. Artful Dodger, surfaced unto her thoughts.
"Hi, Mrs. Rose."
"Hello Kelly, what's your last name?"
"Stone, ma-am." At least he was a polite scamp. "Janie says you're going to go to work, now."
"That's right, I was just about to walk out and look for her, to tell her." Edna noticed something else in the young boy's eyes. She studied them.
"I'm right here, Mommy." A voice beside her surprised her.
"Yes, of course, you are, honey." Edna covered. That was strange. For a moment, it was almost as if she'd forgotten she had a daughter! "You have to go over to Lorraine's, while Mommy works." The mom's gaze returned to Kelly's sweet face. He perked up at her renewed attention, but didn't say anything.
"Okay." Janie sighed. She'd gotten used to being sheltered by the neighbor woman, but they had never really bonded.
"I'll just run along, now." Janie was suddenly at the front door. "Gosh, Mommy, I thought you had to go."
"In a second, dear. You run along. I'll see you tonight." Edna shook her head. She crossed the living room and hugged her daughter. "Sorry, Mommy's feeling a little scattered." Her girl accepted the warm hug happily. She danced across the lawn to the neighbors.
"I'll go too, Mrs. Rose." Kelly piped up behind her. He headed for the door she held open. Edna felt as if she needed to say something to the boy. There was something strange about letting her own child leave first.
"It was nice to meet you, Kelly. Janie is a good girl. I hope you're a good boy." The statement sounded awkward.
"Yes ma-am." The child nodded slightly. He stepped onto the porch step.
"Don't be sore at her, but she told me something she promised you she wouldn't."
"Oh?" The boy stood straight, cocked his head. He studied the short woman with those moon eyes.
Edna had to cast down her own gaze, to avoid them. "It was just a rhyme. I wasn't offended at all. When I was a kid, I used to say all sorts of silly things."
"That's okay, ma-am. I guessed she might." His face brightened out of it's curiosity.
"She told me you said some other things."
Kelly simply nodded.
Edna was definitely going to be late if she didn't leave straight away. "Can you tell me one?"
The boy thought about this for several seconds. A cloud drew over his face.
"My mommy was sick, but now she is old. Doctors couldn't save her but daddy was able. He gave her a gift that never can be told. My mommy is well, but there's danger in the cradle."
The cloud drifted away and the young boy turned to leave. Edna found herself holding her breath. She gasp the first one. "I have to go." She told him, and she started quickly towards the bus stop.
All night, until midnight, Edna repeated the new rhyme in her head. "... but there's danger in the cradle." It spooked her enough to earn a reprimand from her boss.
"I don't know where you mind is tonight, Edna, but can you hustle enough to serve the few customers we do have?"
"Yes, ma-am." Edna responded.
"Ma-am?" June, the night manager, had grimaced and shaken her head.
Edna was very glad to catch the late bus. She felt eager to get home, Janie was waiting, and... She couldn't quite think why else she felt so anxious.
At Lorraine's, some of her confusion abated, when she greeted her daughter.
"Mommy!" The young girl hurled herself into her mother's arms. They stood embracing for nearly a minute.
"I've never seen her miss you that much before." Lorraine chuckled. Ms. Stevens was a retired seamstress, with arthritic hands and a big heart.
"It was a long night, Lorraine. Is there anything I can get you or do?"
Their friendly neighbor yawned. "Just a sleeping tablet the size of my head." She suffered from chronic insomnia, but managed to sleep during the day.
"Good night." They parted. Janie tugged on her mother's hand all the way home. Typically, Edna had to carry her sleeping daughter back to her bed. This night she could hardly tuck her in.
"I wanna another glass of water."
"Hush, just close your eyes."
"Awww." The little girl fidgeted in her pajamas. "Tell me a story, then?"
"Janie!" Edna raised her voice, then relented. Suddenly the story welled up inside the impatient mother.
"Mommy was sick, but now she is old. Doctors couldn't save her but Kelly was able. He gave her a gift that never can be told. Mommy is well, but there's danger in the cradle."
Janie's eyes grew twice their size. She lay as still and as quite as a mouse watching a snake cross her path.
"Good-night."Edna whispered. She turned over on their shared bed and pulled the covers across them both.
The next morning, Janie had slipped out of bed early. She was watching cartoons. Edna slept late--her dreams had been very tiring. Nebulous faces and naked bodies swam in pools of mercury.
Eventually, she rose and bathed. By the time she was dressed and ready to start breakfast, Kelly was sitting beside Janie. She caught him whispering in the girl's ear.
"That's stupid, Kelly. You're just a stupid ol' boy." Janie responded. Her face was slightly red.
"Hey you two, Kelly, good to see you. Now play nice." Mommy stock lecture number seventy three. She back pedaled for the kitchen.
Half hour later, she was serving eggs, juice, toast and grape jelly. The ate sitting on the old, plush carpet. All three of them sat with their backs against the couch. The TV was turned off.
"Kelly told me the stupidest thing." Janie announced in the middle of their meal. Edna looked at the boy. He was unperturbed.
"Yes honey?"
"You tell her." Janie ordered her friend.
"Okay." The boy brightened. He turned and smiled at his host.
"Mommies are nice when their pretty like mine. They smile and hug and make everything fine. One mommy is great for doing nothing at all, but two are better when you want to play ball."
"Hhmm." Edna shrugged. It was a very silly rhyme. They finished their meal in silence.
The house-mom stood up first. She collected the dishes and took them to the kitchen. Instead of washing them right away, she returned to the living room and looked in the front closet. Inside she found an old kick ball. It was soft, but not deflated. She lifted it into full view of the children and announced. "Ready for a game?" All three ran outside.
They must have played for two hours, kicking the ball to each other. Edna had trouble keeping up with the kids, but she wouldn't have stopped for the world. It seemed like Kelly was paying her special attention, kicking the ball to her twice as often to Janie. Edna didn't notice the extent she reciprocated.
"Mommy!" Kelly shouted with a temper.
"What dear?" Her mom looked up.
"Why aren't you giving me the ball?" Tears were starting form in the sad girl's eyes.
"I am, honey. Here." She kicked it to her daughter. It bounced off her ankles.
"No you DIDN'T! You were just kicking it to HIM!" She pointed rebelliously at Kelly. The boy simply stood quiet.
"Now, now young lady, even if I had been, don't get mad at your friend." Edna had to struggle to remember. Guilt cooled her thoughts.
"He's not my friend, any more." She pointed her pout at the lad. "It's time for you to leave!"
"Janie!" Edna rebuked her daughter. "We'll have none of that."
"And you have to go to work."
"What?" She looked at her watch. She wasn't late, but she would be, if she didn't race to the bus stop. "I'm sorry, Janie. It is my fault. I'll make it up to you at dinner. Don't take it out on Kelly, okay?" The mother owned up to her mistake.
"That's all right, Mrs. Rose." The other youngster spoke up. "I'll see you another time. Bye Janie!" He turned and walked quickly away. A small knot in Edna's stomach shifted slightly as he left.
"Good-bye, Kelly. Don't let Janie trouble you."
"Mommy!" Her daughter didn't explain her eruption.
"You'll have to lock up for, Mommy, hon'. I'll be back in four hours. Don't let anyone in."
"I know." Janie's tantrum abated. She kissed her mommy's cheek.
Edna started for the bus stop.
She returned on time, back to their home. It was locked, and Janie let her in. She hugged and kissed her in the doorway.
"How was everything?"
"Better now."
Kelly was sitting in the living room. Edna was unable to contain her delight. "I see you made up with Kelly."
"Yeah, it wasn't his fault, I guess."
"That's wonderful, honey. Could you get me a glass of water, while I take off my shoes?" She reached for the first.
"Okay." Janie answered. She skipped into the kitchen.
"I hope you don't mind me being here, while you're gone, Mrs. Rose."
"Of course not, Kelly. Why you're practically part of the family." She tugged off her second shoe.
"I feel that way too, ma-am."
"Oh, Kelly, ma-am is so formal." Edna walked over to the boy. "Call me..." She stopped. She didn't know what he should call her. Edna was not a name she was terribly fond of. It sounded so old, to her. "Just call me, mum." A creative spark prompted her. That sounded like a nice compromise between 'ma-am' and...
"Here's your water, Mommy." Little Janie held the glass up.
"Thank you, Janie." She sipped lengthily at the cool water. "Now what shall we do?"
They were playing 'Go Fish', when Edna noticed the sky was darkening. "When do you have to be home, Kelly?"
"Oh, whenever. Mom and dad know I'm here."
"Do you want to call them?"
"No." The boy looked bored. "They're probably making dinner."
"Heaven's, I completely forgot. Here I was, playing a silly..." The mom cut herself off. "I'll fix us something warm and quick. Do you like soup?"
"Yes Ma-, I mean mum."
Janie looked up from her cards. She tucked both lips together at what he'd said. Her eyebrows sank together.
Edna was in the kitchen, opening the can of soup when the doorbell rang. "I'll get it." She set the can down inside the pan. She hadn't turned the burner on yet. After wiping her hands on the apron she'd donned, she went to the door.
An older woman, not quite as old as Lorraine Stevens, stood in the dark. "Is my Kelly h-here?" She sounded somewhat nervous. She was short-ish, light haired, but it was too dark to tell its color. The one part that stood out from the rest of her was her slightly swollen belly. She must have already had her dinner, two portions! Was Edna's first thought. Strange, she wasn't normally the jealous type.
Edna switched on the porch light and stepped back from the doorway. "You must be Mrs. Stone."
"No, I'm Alice Turner." The woman leaned forward and peeked her light brunette head inside. "Honey, are you here?" She called.
"Yes, mom." Kelly stood up from sitting at the card festooned coffee table. He walked to the door.
"Honey, I made your favorite tonight. D-did you want to join us?" Alice remained outside.
"I dunno. Mrs. Rose said she was making soup. That'll be good enough."
The woman acted as if she'd been struck with a feather. "Oh, yes. My yes." She smiled suddenly, a mournful smile. One of her hands, moved quivering to the bulge in her torso. "That s-sounds fine." She looked at Edna. "Edna is it?"
"Yes, pleased to meet you." She offered her hand.
Alice leaned away. Her eyes were pleading, but her voice remained calm. "I-I hope you won't keep my boy too late, will you?"
"You can have him now if you want."
What Edna said struck a hopeful note in the woman's expression. She gulped, "I-I would like that."
"Mom," Kelly interjected calmly. "I'm going to spend the night here."
The woman standing outside, her entire frame sagged and she looked down to hide her eyes. "Good-b-, -night then, honey." Without further words, she stepped back off the porch, turned and walked slowly away.
"Don't mind her, Mrs. Rose." Kelly took the door by it's handle and shut it behind his mother. "She and dad act that way all the time."
Edna Rose felt her heart beating very rapidly. Her emotions were difficult to fathom.
"Mommy, I'm hungry." Janie was standing behind her. "Kelly, your mommy is weird."
Kelly ignored her. He was studying his 'mum'.
"I'll just go and put the soup on then." Edna returned to her kitchen.
Kelly followed. "I'll help you."
"Me too!" Janie squealed.
The three of them puttered around until their supper was ready. Only Janie didn't notice the quiet between them. She giggled and occasionally poked Kelly and her mommy in their ribs. Then, they would smile at her.
Sipping their hot soups, Edna told her daughter. "Would you please take the rest of the soup to Ms. Stevens, Janie? It's not too late, and I owe her so much for watching you while I'm at work."
"Okay, Mommy." The young girl rolled Kelly a concerned glance, but she complied with her mother's wishes.
Edna went to the kitchen, covered the pan and wrote a quick note. She forgot what she'd written the moment she folded and handed it to her daughter. "You may have to stay with her, while she eats, honey. Do mind anything she tells you."
"Yes, Mommy." She was already bored of her mission.
Two minutes later. Edna stood alone in her living room, with Kelly. "Kelly?"
"Yes, mum?"
"Tell me about your parents."
"I don't remember them anymore, just my mother. I've been with a couple other mommy's and daddy's since then."
"Have they treated you well?"
"Yes, they all did, but none were able to keep me."
"What about Alice, and your father..." She fished.
"Albert. They're nice too." Kelly searched Edna's face. "I think you're nicer."
Edna's cheeks grew warm. "Janie said you thought I was pretty."
"I do, mum."
She suddenly gave the boy a hug and kissed his cheek. "Thank you."
An embarrassed moment followed. Edna felt there was something she should be doing, but she waited to find out what. Perhaps the boy knew.
Kelly started, "When I find a mommy, I make up a rhyme. I tell them their pretty, and they say I'm fine."
"You are fine!" Edna burst, she'd been wanting to tell the boy.
"Now, Mommy, you know what a little boy shouldn't. To tell him is bad and good mommies wouldn't." Kelly struck a confident rhythm. "But good mommies are sad when they're all alone. If the right boy asked nicely, shouldn't he be shown?"
"Did you want to ask me something?" Edna hoped with all her heart.
"Uh-huh, mum. Do you ever feel lonely?"
Suddenly, Edna's brilliant spark flickered into despair. It was only a question, but she struggled in sadness to find the answer. Dark clouds flew everywhere, draining her inner search. She was terribly lonely, she realized. There was no one she knew who could understand it. There wasn't anyone who could share the deep isolation within her soul. Edna's eyes hung like buckets of sand, tears soaking into them. She could hardly speak the terrible truth. "Yes," she whispered and hung her head.
Kelly immediately took her hand. "But with the right person, wouldn't you feel much better?" He looked up at the housewife and smiled.
Hope rekindled within Edna's breast. There was a person after all. This boy, Kelly, could see her loneliness, her isolation. Only he could share it and make her long suffering go away. His smile was a benevolent savior. His touch was enlightenment. The boy was her immediate object of adoration!
Edna swept the boy into her arms and hugged him high against her trembling breasts. "You are the most wonderful boy! Any mother would be proud of you!" She kissed his cold cheek and held him close.
"In every mommy's arms little boys grow hot. Good mommies don't fear to give it a thought." Kelly sang warmly with a quiet voice, just for his new mum. "
The growing heat in Edna's body emanated from within her cradle of creation. It was calling to her. It needed her. The swooning mother wanted to answer it, but Kelly's mesmerizing looks, voice, and now touch tugged at her equally hard. Only later would she learn they were both pulling her in the same direction. She nuzzled top of the boy's head with her neck.
"I like hugging you, mum. You're so soft and warm!"
"Call me Mommy, Kelly. You can be my little boy, my son for as long as you want."
"I wanted to call you Mommy when I first saw you, Mommy." Kelly smiled with great satisfaction.
"Ooohh, what ever I can do for my dearest, baby boy, I would."
"If I were really your baby boy, you'd let me suck on these pretty pillows, Mommy." The child placed the palm of a hand on her covered breast.
"Oh, but you're not that kind of baby, are you?" Edna asked, somewhat concerned by the boy's request.
"Some little boys are bigger, some have grown up, but good mommies should nurse even her oldest pup."
"Yes, yes of course you need Mommy's nurturing. Mommy's breasts are more than nourishment, they're comfort and reassurance of Mommy's love." Edna understood completely.
Kelly's grin brightened at his new mommy's quick capitulation. He leaned back in her arms so that she might see what she needed to reveal for him.
The happy mom looked down the deep V between her large breasts. Somehow her top button had already come undone. She hadn't noticed Kelly reach up and unfasten it with deft fingers when she'd hugged him.
Edna carried her boy to the sofa and sat down heavily. My, he was big for such a young boy! She thought. Without hesitating she immediately fumbled with her blouse buttons. They succumbed quickly to her manipulation. Both halves of the gauzy material fell away and revealed the sturdy bra her large mums required to maintain a pleasing shape.
"Gosh, Mommy you have really big ones!"
"They aren't nearly as big as my love for you, honey, but they'll keep you warm when you snuggle in them." Edna reached behind her back and plucked at the catch of her bra. Its stretch band loosened, and two fat nipples fell out of the cups in front."
"Wow!" Was all Kelly could say.
His mommy finished by pulling both the undergarment and her blouse over her head. She dropped them beside the sofa. Then she reached for her new son.
Kelly was smart enough to let his new mommy bring him to her. He scuttled onto her lap at her arm's urging and he immediately kissed the two wide, exposed nipples. "They're beautiful, Mommy!"
"Mommy is so glad you think so!" She hugged him close again and his mouth fell to her breasts. His soft sucking instantly hardened her dark nipples. Edna gasp for her next breath. The sensation had taken it away. It felt glorious!
Elle
- 06.03.2021
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