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"Peter and Tracy are breaking up," Jan announced from the kitchen when I got home from work. "And its your fault." Tracy was my little sister; Peter was Jan's older brother.

I left my briefcase by the door and went to the kitchen, kissing Jan on the cheek. I was hoping for a quiet evening, a rented movie, maybe even a slow, indulgent cookie dipping. I should have known better. "My fault? Why?"

Jan was apparently cleaning vegetables in the sink. That is, she was shaving a carrot into something that looked sharp and deadly. "Tracy thinks Peter's gay, and that he has a terrible crush on you."

"No kidding. It's a shame it's not Tracy. She's a cutie, even if she is related. If she had a crush on me, our marriage would be in trouble."

Jan nudged me with an elbow as Tracy came out of the bathroom, pushing the auburn curls back from her face.

"Shoot, Tracy, I'm sorry."

"'S'okay," she smiled. "At least somebody still wants me."

"Tracy is staying with us until Peter gets straightened out."

I sighed. "Okay, sure. Listen, Tracy, let me take you up to the bedroom and apologize properly."

"Don't even," Jan warned, but Tracy giggled, her eyes lighting up. I should have known then; Tracy was my sister. Her eyes never lit up.

"So Peter is gender confused. How is this my fault?"

Jan and Tracy exchanged an odd sureptitious look, then Tracy shrugged- making her breasts bounce, to be sure- "Peter said your penis is bigger than his. He's been talking about it a lot. First, he wanted me to try you out, even if it was incest. I mean, you and me being brother and sister. Then he wanted you both to do me. You know, back-door, front-door. Today I realized I was just in the way and he was in love with you."

"Peter is a doofus," I said. Tracy wasn't too bright either, even if she was my sister.

Tracy nodded, her brown eyes a bit vacant. "Sure he is, but I still love him." She paused. "Are you really bigger than him?"

"Much bigger," I said. "Poor Jan is sore for days."

"I am not," Jan said. "Men always exaggerate, Tracy. He's not a fraction over nine inches."

"Really!" Tracy's eyes went wide.

"And it belongs to me," Jan added.

"Oh, of course," Tracy said. "I wouldn't dream of sleeping with Bill. At least, not without your permission. Not even fellatio. Or my behind, even if that's not proper sex." A couple more brain cells fired. "Anyway, I'm married." She blinked. "And he's my brother, all nine inches."

"Bill, will you help me a moment in the laundry room?" Jan asked.

"Sure, hon."

"You two are going have sex, aren't you?" Tracy pouted.

"I hope so," I said.

"Can I watch?"

"No." Jan frowned.

"Peter is eight and a half. Eight and three quarters if you measure it right. But he has a foreskin, and he's really thick around. Are you?"

"Like a beer can. Listen for Jan's screams."

"I don't scream. You know I don't scream."

"She gurgles," I told Tracy, giving her a thumbs up. Jan scowled.

"Tracy has the remote," Jan said in the laundry room.

"So. Your kid brother is over eight inches, thick, foreskin. Have you ever considered doing him?"

Jan, to my surprise, flushed and shivered. "Suck it," she said. "I mean stop it. Tracy has the remote. You know what that means."

I sighed. "I suspected. I really hoped we could rent a movie and have a pizza delivered."

"Do you really want to have sex with Tracy?" Jan asked softly. "Your own sister?"

"She's incredibly sexy. Do you want your brother?"

Jan swallowed. "Tracy wants to make love with me. She seems to think if she and I get it on, that will make it easier for you and Peter to be lovers."

"Then we can swap and I can have Tracy. You can make love with your handsome brother."

Jan turned her back to me poutily and I came up behind her, wrapping my arms around her waist, then slipping my hands higher. Jan sighed and leaned back against me. She had her bra on, though it was unfastened, and her generous nipples were already hard, stiff as little lemons.

"You're as bad as Tracy," she murmured, squirming against me. "But not as good."

"Tracy? She was groping you?"

"A little." Jan sighed. "A lot, okay?"

"I'm surprised at you. Isn't that like seducing a child?"

"She was doing it, not me. When we heard you come in the front door, she went to the bathroom to wash my smell off her fingers."

Smell? I let my hands drift to her hips. "You're not wearing panties?"

"She took them off."

"Of course," I said. "Hardcore lesbians that you both are."

"I don't know how it started. She knew where to touch. She has the-the thing. What do you call it. At least I think so." People somehow found it difficult to think about the remote when the darn thing was turned on.

Jan squirmed around facing me. "We are not having sex in the laundry room while your sister listens in the kitchen."

"Yes, we are," I said a bit urgently. It was probably my last chance. I hitched her skirt up and lifted her tight- and bare- behind onto the drier.

"Aren't." She crossed her arms over her breasts, which wasn't where I was headed anyway.

"Are." I tried to undo my fly as she lifted her calves, leaning back on her elbows.

"Shoot," Jan sighed, then quivered and glared. "She's pushing my buttons. It's too late. Tracy!" she bellowed. "Bill's forcing himself on me!"

Tracy let out a valkyrie squeak and came ramming into the laundry room. She rammed me aside. "Out, get out!" she yelled, and leaned between Jan's open thighs. Her lips opened and fastened on Jan's little pink.

"Out," Jan said. Then she closed her eyes and gurgled.

I went back to the kitchen, and considered ordering a pizza. If Tracy had the remote, she probably had it on her. Once, though, she'd taped a bunch of buttons down and hidden it. It took two days to find it.

The doorbell rang. It was Ted, Peter's black friend from work. "Hey, Bill. Peter called. He said Tracy got hold of the remote." He grinned shyly.

"Sure, come in, Ted. She's in the laundry room with my wife. Maybe you can distract her long enough for me to get Jan loose."

"Thanks, Bill." Ted headed to the back of the house. I gave him a couple minutes, then ambled back myself.

Ted was on his knees behind Jan; Jan was on her hands and knees and naked; Tracy was sitting cross-legged beside them, happily supervising their vigorous coupling.

"Hey, wait a minute, that's my wife you're shagging. My wife."

"She's good," Ted grunted, dragging a black log from her belly, then stuffing it back in. Jan gurgled.

"Jan, stop that. What are you doing? Stop it, right now."

"In a couple minutes, hon. I'm busy right now."

"Couple minutes, nothing. I got lasting power," Ted said, heaving himself into Jan again.

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A short story about being stood up at the altar told from the man’s point-of-view. Seeing the hotel marquis welcoming Mr. & Mrs. Gregory T. Johnson gave me a reason to keep finding analogies. As empty as the first class seat next to me on the plane. As empty as the limo ride from the airport. Did ‘as empty as the heart-shaped hot tub’ work as an analogy? I suck at coming up with a simile, metaphor, or analogy. I popped the top of the champagne bottle and began turning it into my next analogy....

Far Future Fembot DarleneChapter 45 Lady Heather Redux

Thoughts This had to be the greatest shock of my life. Greatest because I was hit by two massive bombshells at once. The first was Lady Heather - not Anna being Lady Heather, but the real one - standing deactivated inside the small, protected room. The second was that Anna had managed to keep this secret from me all this time. I looked at Anna, my questioning expression too obvious to need further elucidation. "Information referring to this exists in a special spot I was able to create...

The Blizzard The Beginning

For the past thirty years since New Orleans was sent under water by a massive hurricane, scientists have argued disasters such as that were the effects of global warming. I really don't know if that is true, but for some reason the weather has been really weird for quite a while, and now these so called experts are somewhat agreeing with each other. Christmas day the temperature hit an all time high in Chicago when it topped out at a balmy 78 degrees and today I am freezing my ass off...

Photography

I had put an ad in the local adult newspaper seeking sexy mature 55 Plus ladies that would like to pose in sexy lingerie and outfits, I had said that there would be no nudity or sex, just cheesecake teasing photos tastefully done. You called me late one night and we discussed what I was looking for and what I had in mind in the way of dress and poses, I was really excited when you said that you wanted to pose for me. We made an appointment for the following weekend for you to come by my...

Not Quite a White Knight Book 1Chapter 7 Friday Night Law

Besides being in the family business of a criminal gang banger and the regional prince for my Grandfather the drug lord, my late night job is as a lawyer. (You are probably asking yourself which is a lower form of scum. It is okay, I am not offended. I ask myself the same question as I look at the sub-creatures who surround my life.) I am not your usual lawyer, I do not take depositions, talk to lying clients, or put on a show in court. I went from Law School to clerking (two judges) and...

California Central Valley Summer HeatChapter 8 Late Night in the Garden

HOT, EVEN IN the shade in our backyard, where Sam and I were lying side-by-side on our backs under the big tree. I felt my t-shirt sticking in back, even in the shade. Left the clouds on their own for a moment, opened my eyes, and turned to look at Sam. I wanted to lick those little drops of sweat off of her upper lip. I closed my eyes again, but I could hear the smile in Sam’s voice. “Go ahead, Buddy.” I turned on my side. Salty, warm sweat, and my tongue liked every little drop. Then my...

Liquid Courage

I was married right out of high school, and to no one's surprise, by the time I was 22 I was separated. She had cheated on me within the first year, and by the time I discovered it, she was already on affair number 3. I moved back in with my parents and she moved to Iowa to be with her "dream man".I was working as a cook at an upscale chain restaurant. If you've ever worked in that type of place, you know it's pretty much a drunken and d**g-addled porn production lot that cranks out food. It...

Susan and her Sons Friend

Jeff was bored. Home for the summer after his sophomore year of college, he was working early-shift maintenance at a warehouse. As he got done by 2pm he had the whole afternoon and evening to entertain himself. It was now 3 o’clock and he had showered and eaten lunch and was wondering what to do until supper time. He called his friend Ryan to see if he wanted to get together and play video games. Ryan didn’t answer so Jeff decided to head to his house to find out what he was up to. As he walked...

MILF

THE MAKING OF JANE

Jason H. was a small boy who had suffered from heart problems as ac***d and had not been permitted to play the "rough games" other boyshis age played. At age 11 he was finally given a clean bill of healthand allowed to be a normal boy, but he was shunned by the other boysbecause he didn't know how to play football or baseball or basketballor any other active sports. Whenever, the other boys had to pickteams, Jason was always the last one picked due to his lack of skilland small size. This...

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